Tell-tale signs of child abuse

Child protective workers of Reddit, what are some tell-tale signs of

child abuse that the average person might not notice but should
look out for?

-Fears of certain objects, especially ones that are commonly used as implements of
abuse--such as hairbrushes, electric cords, belts, rulers, wooden spoons, hangers, etc.
-Forgetfulness and "spacing out". This one is almost never noticed, even by some
mental health professionals. Children who are abused a lot learn to dissociate to cope.
This can result in them randomly "spacing out" and literally not mentally being there. A
child that sometimes seems to "not be there" and forget things constantly may be
dissociating.
-Running away
-Lying, especially when there seems to be no reason to lie.
-Stealing
-Excessive apologies and crying for tiny mistakes or falling to pieces if they screw up,
especially on something like making a mess/dropping something or getting a bad
grade. Generally, perfectionist children. They are sometimes the most well liked kid on
the block, an honor student and even star athlete.
-Excessive aggressive behavior in situations that aren't that serious. They may interpret
innocent things (another kid bumping them by mistake) as attacks and lose it.
-Self-harming behaviors (head banging, cutting, burning, and hitting self, pulling hair
out, etc)
-Babyish behaviors or displaying the emotional development of younger children. This is
often in distinct contrast from what may be an otherwise intelligent child who is well
developed in other ways. These behaviors can include thumb sucking/keeping other
objects in the mouth, rocking back and forth, baby talk, wetting or soiling themselves
past age 5, throwing tantrums, attachment to blankets/toys and carrying them around.
These behaviors can still be seen in abused children who are in their late teens.
-Trouble making friends or getting along with others due to some of the above factors.

-Not talking or rarely talking and avoiding looking at people. Not even just "looking at
people in the eye" as this isn't a thing in all cultures, but looking at people at all.
Literally child that tries to "Disappear" into the background.
-Really poor hygiene and refusal to brush teeth, shower, get undressed, etc.
-Refusal to sleep, go to bed, and serious nightmares or bedwetting.
-Kids that seem to avoid going home.
-Avoiding sitting down/sitting still. This can indicate physical or sexual abuse as the
child is experiencing pain in their buttocks, genitals or thighs and perhaps back.
-Panicking with fear, crying or flying into a rage over seemingly nothing, or "at the drop
of a hat".
-Fear of cameras, "bedtime", "bathtime", bathrooms/toilets/bathtubs, phallic objects,
words like "tickling", "secrets", and "wrestling".
-Knowledge of stuff kids just don't or shouldn't know. This can include sexual things,
things about alcohol and drugs, childcare (caring for others), cooking/caring for the
house or anything else that indicates the child is experiencing something negative or
that they're taking on an adult role at home
-Acting out sexually and engaging in sexual behaviors and acts with other kids. Now
mind you, "exploring" and "playing doctor" is normal for all kids, but abused
kids...know what they're doing. Two healthy kids might just touch each other a little
and realize "hey they feels good", but have no idea wtf they're doing. An abused child
may literally bring another child to orgasm or instruct the other child how to do it to
them and know how to perform specific sex acts like oral sex or sexual positions. I've
even heard of sexually abused children engaging in what I can only call BDSM-esque
behaviors together.
-Asking fearfully/nervously if they "have to do" something for you if you act kindly to
them or give them a gift.
-This sounds gross but refusal to eat phallic foods like bananas or foods that look/have
texture like semen like yogurt.
-Act in a sexual or seductive way towards adults. This can include their behavior,
clothing, looks, and how they speak. Very often this is specifically just towards adults of
the gender of their abuser. Do NOT think women (including moms, aunts, grandmas
and sisters) can't be sexually abusing a child of either gender. They can and do.
-Masturbating a lot and in public, not caring if people see, or even..engaging them
somehow if they do see.

-Hoarding food, stealing food, always looking for food or always seems to be
hungry/underfed.
-This is typically just in kids 10+ but displaying eating disordered behaviors like those
characteristic of anorexia and bulimia, as well as eating weird non-food items like toilet
paper.
One especially disturbing pattern I've noticed is abusers calling things cutesy names or
calling abuse the names of established games so that if the child talks about it nothing
will be suspected. If you hear a child is afraid if a certain game or acts strangely when
others suggest a game. And just for reference some of the examples of this I've heard
include "tag" and "Clue". Or other random words that other children might like. I once
told a child I had a "surprise" for her (it was a cookie monster bowl for her ice cream)
and she burst into tears and said she didn't want a "surprise". Didn't take much to
figure out what that must've meant...
Also look out for any play styles that appear off, especially dolls and stuffed animals. If
anything appears overly sexual, abusive, neglectful, or involves a lot of alcohol and
drugs that's a big sign.
Look at their drawings. (This one is NOT fool proof as art ability and style varies greatly
among kids but if you see this along with other signs it might indicate something). Do
they draw parents or adults with really mean faces, large hands, accentuated
breasts/genitals, without clothing, drastically larger or smaller than the child's self
drawings? Most things subtle but if you see something pretty obvious (once saw a
drawing of child and parent and it was literally the two of them naked and the parent
with a horribly mean face), save the drawing and report it.
In conclusion, if you see something say something. Know what will happen if you report
abuse that isn't actually occurring? Fucking nothing. No one gets hurt, no one gets
fired, no one gets put in jail. Know what happens when you don't report child abuse?
Kids continue to get beaten, neglected, raped and sometimes they end up dead. If
you're really unsure then call a hotline and explain the situation to ask their advice
before reporting it to the local authorities, or hell, even ask people on an online forum
like this.
There are so many things I hear people tell me that were such bright, enormous red
flags I don't know how any teachers or neighbors didn't report something. It baffles
me.
UPDATE: I've seen a lot of replies to this and wanted to add a few updates. Yes, I admit
my attitude about reporting abuse you might suspect was a little much, but I did
mention to ask an expert. So I will emphasize that if you suspect abuse but are really

uncertain about it, call a hotline or ask an expert on child abuse (not a child care
worker, cop or teacher, but a mental health professional or someone who works with
abused children. Think ChildHelpUSA or similar organizations that might be in your
country. Those people can help you understand what you might be seeing and the
proper course of action.) However I will stand by my view that the majority of the time
not reporting something does much more harm than reporting something that might be
false.
Also yes, plenty of these signs are signs of other issues that do not involve abuse like
autism, mental challenges, and various mental illnesses. This is a list of signs children
will show as the result of physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional/psychological abuse
and neglect. This is also applicable to children who have suffered other sots of trauma-children of war, those who lived through natural disasters, death of parents, domestic
violence and other awful things can show these symptoms. Yes, severe
bullying is abuse by another name and can also cause these.
No, having one or two of these symptoms does not mean the child is being abused.
Unless it's one of the super obvious ones like a child drawing anatomically correct
naked bodies engaging in sex acts, acting super sexual towards you or showing up
looking like they've not eaten in days and were beaten to a pulp, it's not necessarily a
definitive sign. Again, some of these can be signs of something else as well. Someone
else made a comment about this being like Web MD making you think you have cancer
and that's a great comparison--this is not a definitive diagnosis. This is an expert's
opinion on a general topic and symptoms that can affect different people in different
ways. Just like with Web MD you should take those concerns to a real life expert for
advice, like I mentioned earlier. Anyone can feel free to message me if they have any
thoughts or concerns about this post or need advice relating to this issue. Remember
that if you are worried about something you shouldn't be determined to either prove or
disprove abuse, but rather the truth about why that particular child is struggling and
behaving in these ways.
Anyway I hope this helped lots of people and to those who said they related and
survived the abuse, I'm sorry you went through that. I hope you're doing well as an
adult and give yourself credit for living through that hell. Best wishes!