december 24/25 2016

Jancis Robinson
toasts the season
Haiku in the headlines:
nding poetry in the FT
Stargazing with
Neil deGrasse Tyson

Dont put
all these
swear
words in

Henry Mance meets

Martin Freeman
 Follow us on Twitter @FTMag
The shers protect themselves
with salvaged pieces of plastic; like
inadvertent sculptures on the ice
Aleksey Kondratyev
7-13
7 Simon Kuper
p22
Why language has got serious again
8 The Inventory Laura Mvula, singer
10 First Person Im chief medical
officer for the Everest Marathon
12 Robert Shrimsley
How to be a muscular liberal
12 Letters

14-35
Martin Freeman
14 The Sherlock star talks
to Henry Mance about
politics, anger and why
hes not on Twitter
Hidden haiku
20 Discover the unintended
poetry thats popped up in
the FT this year
The icemen cometh
22 Kazakh shermen search for

ALEKSEY KONDRATYEV
sustenance beneath the frozen
Ishim River. Photographs and
words by Aleksey Kondratyev
Fishermen huddle on the frozen Ishim River, Kazakhstan
Douglas Couplands
Observations
26 Why nobody likes speaking
We have two bears in the sky that on phones any more
p30
are not even anatomically accurate Neil deGrasse Tyson
Neil deGrasse Tyson demysties the cosmos 30 Americas most famous
living astrophysicist takes
Kadhim Shubber on a whistle-
stop tour of the constellations

p39
These are some 37-46

damn good noodles

Food & Drink
37 Jancis Robinson
Sweet success
Tim Hayward 39 Tim Hayward Yamagoya at
Shuang Shuang, London
40 Meera Sodha
Grand vegetable biryani
41 Christmas drinks
Gifts for beer lovers
Organisations
reflect the priorities
I dont feel represented by 41 Five of the best New cocktail books
42 Rowley Leigh

of the powerful any of the political options Grilled octopus potato salad

The FTs year in haiku Laura Mvula 44 Games

45 Undercover economist Why family
traditions make for happy holidays
p20 p8 46 Gillian Tett
The vinyl revival

ft.com/magazine december 24/25 2016 5

Simon
Kuper
Columnist of the year
Why language has got serious again
O
nly very recently, the big
new trend in language was
narcissism on social media.
In 2014, sele was named
word of the year in various
languages, Chambers Dictionary
chose overshare, Collins Dictionary went
with photobomb, while the Global Language
Monitor had the emoji . As late as 2015,
Oxford Dictionaries chose the emoji. Things
were as they should be: westerners were wasting
their lives messing around on Facebook.
In 2016, language changed. The latest
batch of words of the year show that across
the west (thought happily not yet in Asia),
even many apolitical people have become
obsessed with political ideas. Sifting through
past words of the year, we can pin down
some of the origins of this change.
This years words of the year in English include
xenophobia (chosen by Dictionary.com),
Brexit (Collins), paranoid (Cambridge
Dictionary) and post-truth (Oxford
Dictionaries). Merriam-Webster tweeted on
November 29 that fascism was still our #1
lookup, with a particular spike on November 9
after Donald Trumps election, and was on track
to be the dictionarys word of the year. Finally,
the dictionary went with surrreal as word of
the year. German, a language especially
suited to constructing new wo ords,
gave us postfaktisch (postfacttual,
chosen by Germanys
Gesellschaft fr deutsche
Sprache) and Austrias word off
the year, Bundesprsidentenstiich-
wahlwiederholungsverschiebungg, g
or federal-president-runoff-
vote-repeat-postponement. Ru ussias
word of 2016 chosen by a com mmittee of
experts chaired by Mikhail Epsstein at Emory
University in the US, more of whom later
was Brekzit. In short, this yeaar, language
was even more political than usual.
Tech words continue to be coined but no
longer get so much attention. In French, for
example, Uberisation was mere ely a runner-up
to the word of the year, rfugiss (refugees).
In the Van Dale dictionarys vo ote for
Dutch word of the year, smartp phonista
and dronevertising were nomin nated
only in specialist subcategoriess.
Illustration Luis Graena
ft.com/magazine december 24/25
5 2016
Admittedly, even in Europe, some popular
new words came from outside politics. In Dutch,
Samsonseks, promoted by Flemish mother
Ingrid Renders, roughly means: Parents having
sex while their children are distracted by the
talking dog Samson on TV. Russias phrase of
the year comes from high culture: Ochered
na Serova/Aivazovskovo, which denotes:
Queues for the exhibitions of the works of
painters Serov and Aivazovsky [in Moscow].
However, even this phrase may be more
political than it seems: the current Russian
boom in cultural pursuits has been diagnosed
as an attempt to escape the Putinesque
present. Russian political unease is captured
in one of the countrys neologisms of the year:
neuyezzhant or non-leaver: one who has the
opportunity to emigrate but prefers to stay.
In terms of zeitgeist, Russian seems to be a year
or two ahead of western languages. In 2014, when
westerners were still oversharing photobombs,
Russias word of the year was Krimnash, a
contraction of Crimea is ours. The word for 2015
was bezentsi (refugees). Any western linguist
looking for omens should note two other Russian
neologisms of 2016. Emptistry, according to
Epstein, is production of emptiness as a social
industry and economic preoccupation, while
The words of the
year show that even
apolitical people have
become obsessed
with political ideas
orbis ex machina (a rare Latin neologism) is the
theory that the world is computer simulation.
But, as Trump likes to argue, not everything
comes from Russia. This years western
linguistic trend is in part a backlash against
previous western trends. In 2014, the American
Dialect Societys word of the year was
#blacklivesmatter; in 2015, it was the gender-
neutral pronoun they. Also in 2015, Dictionary.
com chose identity, explaining that the most
prominent theme was in the expanding and
increasingly uid nature of conversations about
gender and sexuality. Back then, minorities
were still having their turn. This year, the
old-fashioned mainstream struck back.
I
f there is linguistic cheer, its in east Asia,
where the western political trend hasnt
registered yet. Japans word of the year
(chosen by the publisher Jiyu Kokumin Sha)
is kamitteru, which means something
like godlike. Previously a childrens slang
phrase, it took off in June after a baseball manager
used it to describe a players performance. The
Japanese kanji of 2016 chosen in an annual
ceremony at the Kiyomizu-dera temple in Kyoto
was , pronounced kin (or so Im told),
which broadly meanss gold, money. beneted
from Japans 12 gold medals at the Rio Olympics.
Reassuringly in these e changing times, had
won twice before, in the Olympic years 2000 and
2012. But among the subsidiary reasons for its
triumph this time waas Trumps golden hair (or, as
his detractors describ be it, orange).
The Filipino word of 2016 was the almost
deliciously retro fotoobam (photobomb).
Chinese internet searches were also
determinedly apolitical, though that may
be because off the regimes constraints.
Baidu, the C Chinese Google, named its
top three ke eywords of 2016 as 1. The
Rio Olympicc Games; 2. House prices
Opening shot
soared; 3. Car-licence-plate lottery.
We still need a global phrase of
the year. Im nominating the
official slogan of the Rio Games,
whhich must have seemed safely
vappid when the organisers
choose it a few months ago:
A New World. 6
simoon.kuper@ft.com;
Twittter @KuperSimon; To see the
FTs Yearr in a Word, go to ft.com/word
7
 THE If you had a coat of arms,
what would be on it?

INVENTORY
An Ankara fabric backdrop
with a music note, a plantain,
some owers and a perfume

LAURA bottle good music, good food

and beauty. The supporters

MVULA
Singer and songwriter
would be my cat Mali and my
future dachshund puppy.

Whats your biggest

extravagance?
Perfume. I go through a good few
bottles a week. I probably need
to get some sort of endorsement
to stop me going bankrupt.
In what place are you happiest?
New York.
What ambitions do you still have?
To keep making music that I want
to listen to and to share it if I can.
What drives you on?
Seeing people connect with my
music is important. My family
always encourage me and I dont
think Id be able to keep doing this
without them.
What is the greatest achievement
of your life so far?
Sometimes its getting up and
getting dressed and then getting
on to a stage in front of the
Queen and the royal family
against my bodys wishes.
Sometimes its just getting up.
What has been your greatest

An afterlife? Recent times might

disappointment?
Awards shows are disappointing
because theres always a part of me

suggest were already there

Laura Mvula, 30, released her
debut album Sing to the Moon
in 2013, and won two Mobo
awards as well as a Mercury Prize
nomination. Her second studio
album, The Dreaming Room, was
released in June 2016.
What was your childhood or
earliest ambition?
To be in [R&B group] Eternal.
Public school or state school?
University or straight into work?
Birmingham Conservatoire, then
teaching, then this. Whatever
this is.
Who was or still is your mentor?
about the focus and mental
connection that I love.
Ambition or talent: which
matters more to success?
The most important thing is that
you be yourself in all that you do.
Have you ever taken an IQ test?
No.
How politically committed
are you?
I feel passionately about
advancement and equality.
I dont necessarily feel represented
by any of the options were
presented with but I try to be
more independent in terms of
knowing about the issues.
Happiest: in New York
someone to sit me down and tell me
what I can do to offset.
Do you have more than
one home?
I live on the road in hotels, on the
that deeply believes I deserve to
win, so when I dont its a big blow.
If your 20-year-old self could see
you now, what would she think?
She would walk past me on the
street she wouldnt recognise me.
If you lost everything tomorrow,
what would you do?
Maybe go back to teaching. Being
able to give someone their rst
music experience in a teaching
environment was so precious to me.
Or retire to Jamaica and spend my
days on the beach.
Do you believe in an afterlife?
Recent times might suggest were
already there.
If you had to rate your
satisfaction with your life so far,
out of 10, what would you score?
If you asked me three times in one
day it would vary. Right now Im
LAURA HYND/CAMERA PRESS; GETTY IMAGES

Ive had lots. Without the music
teachers that inspired me,
I wouldnt be where I am today.
How physically t are you?
Ive just started with a personal
trainer. Shes hardcore e she
lulls me into a false sen
nse of
security and then push hes
me. Theres something g to be in Eternal
Do you consider your carbon tour bus, at venues. It took me a
footprint? while to adapt but now it takes me
I should consider it more, especially three minutes to pack a suitcase.
because of all the back and forth we I do have a home in Shoreditch that
do to get the music out there. I need I love and where my cat Mali lives
but Im not there as often as Id like.
What would you like to own that
Early ambition: you dont currently possess?
A dog! I desperately want a dog.
fresh from a show with an amazing
audience and Ive had a good sleep
on the tour bus, so a solid eight.
Laura Mvula fronts the Casio Action in
Music initiative and supports Classic FMs
Music Teacher of the Year Awards with Casio
and ABRSM (nominations close January 27;
to enter, see actioninmusic.co.uk)

8 ft.com/magazine december 24/25 2016

 FIRST
PERSON
DAVID
BUCKLER

Im chief medical
ofcer for the
Everest Marathon

F
or those of an adventurous disposition,
tackling the Everest Marathon is
the ultimate challenge. And, as chief
medical officer, its my job to ensure
that every participant gets to realise
their dream and lives to tell the tale.
The biennial race, which has raised more than
600,000 for Nepalese charities since it began in
1987, is recognised by Guinness World Records as
the highest marathon in the world. The starting
point is Gorak Shep, a frozen, sand-covered
lake bed in Nepal, at an altitude of 17,010ft.
At that height the views are sublime. However,
the rareed air provides just 50 per cent of the
oxygen available at sea level. Those who fail to
adapt properly will be in serious trouble, and
could perish on the mountain if untreated.
My ve-strong medical team and I all
volunteers, though subsidised by the race
organisers have a duty to make sure the 80 David Buckler: Im proud to say no one has died on my watch
or so runners are sufficiently acclimatised and
in good health at the start line. The course to Lukla, one of the worlds most dangerous signs of these include shortness of breath, an
undulates but it is mostly downhill. We end airports, and the site of many air tragedies. It is unwillingness to do anything and headaches.
at the Sherpa capital of Namche Bazaar, at carved out of the mountain and has a landing We employ a buddy system, so you can dob
11,300ft, so if you are feeling all right at Gorak strip of just a few hundred metres. Next follows in your tent mate if they are looking peaky and
Shep, you will probably reach the nish line. a two-day trek to Namche Bazaar, the starting might be too macho to ag up their discomfort.
Im proud to say no one has died on my point for nearly every Everest expedition It takes 10 hours for altitude sickness to reach
watch, and in the past two events everyone in the past 50 years. Gradually we increase its maximum, and its not ideal to treat someone
who signed up and paid the 3,000 entry altitude, and spend four or ve days trekking at 3am, when its pitch black and -10C.
fee managed to nish. There have been a few up to 18,000ft so as to be fully acclimatised As a rule of thumb, the Everest Marathon
scary moments, though, and in the past we have before dropping down to rest. We then hike takes twice as long to complete as a road
needed to airlift sick people down the mountain. to a different valley for the actual run. marathon. Because I sweep up the stragglers,
My preparation for the race starts about Its vital to stress bodies that is, to I usually register a time of 10 hours or more,
a year out. I gather together a medical team introduce them to an environment where and complete the race in darkness, guided only
who are compatible with one another, and there is signicantly less oxygen, so they by a head torch and instinct. Im particularly
who can survive without creature comforts naturally make the necessary changes. The body looking forward to the race next November,
for four weeks. Together, we carry the medical concentrates the blood, squeezing more of it from because my wife Jennie is taking part for the rst
supplies required for every eventuality, so that the bone marrow. This also makes you pee a lot. time. Completing the worlds highest marathon
100 people will be safe for a month away from The secret to acclimatising is to move up the alongside her will make it an extra special
civilisation. There is no budget for drugs, so we mountain slowly enough that the body adapts. experience; the pinnacle, you might say. 7
have to beg, borrow and steal to get them. The two main potential problems are swelling
Three weeks before the race, the group of the brain (cerebral oedema) and uid in As told to Oliver Pickup
ies to Kathmandu. Then we take a tiny plane the lungs (pulmonary oedema). The telltale Portrait by James Cannon

In 1856 the Indian mathematician and surveyor Radhanath Sikdar (left) used a combination of trigonometry and spherical
geometry to calculate the height of Mount Everest (then known as Peak XV), recording it at 29,002ft. In May 1999,
researchers from the American Millennium Expedition used GPS to measure the mountains height of 29,035ft now
the official gure. Shifting tectonic plates continue to push Everest upward at a rate of between 1.6in and 3.9in per year.

10 ft.com/magazine december 24/25 2016

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 Robert
Shrimsley
The National Conversation
How to be a muscular liberal
Illustration Lucas Varela
T
he liberal classes are stirring.
After a year of seeing everything
mainstream hammered by angry
populists, the bruised moderates
are planning their ghtback. In the
coffee shops and book clubs the
counter-revolution is taking shape. The mood is
turning erce among the quinoa-eating classes.
For the hated cosmopolitans, so used to peppering
their conversation with a sprinkling of other
dialects, muscular liberalism is the term du jour.
Long-forgotten pro-Europeans are lumbering
out of retirement to take up the ght. In south-
west London, voters have staged a Brexit counter-
revolution, throwing out our Tory MP in favour of
some underpowered Lib Dem who wont change
anything but makes us feel better. We may be too
moderate for a year of deance but we denitely
can manage 12 months of incivility. We may not,
like Peter Finch in Network, be mad as hell and
not gonna take it any more, but we certainly are
a bit miffed and really need to discuss this.
One problem is that moderate, mainstream
liberalism doesnt lend itself easily to the weapons
of modern political conict. It makes for lousy
tweets. Lets spread the wealth a bit more evenly
along the income distribution curve just doesnt
cut the mustard in an era of Take back control
and Make America great again.
But there is a larger problem. The political
terrain has changed. Its easy to see liberals lapsing
into comfortable positions in which they ght
more ercely while making the same mistakes.
A smarter approach means abandoning some of
their instinctive responses to issues.
Issue number 697 Online ft.com/magazine Editorial inquiries 020 7873 3636 Advertising inquiries 020 7873 3121 FT Weekend Magazine is printed by Wyndeham Group in the UK and published by
12 The Financial Times Ltd, Number One Southwark Bridge, London SE1 9HL
REPLY
Lionel Barber offered an excellent
analysis of the Trumpist
phenomenon (The Year of
the Demagogue, December
17/18). However, James Bakers
take that Trumps power can
be contained shows the former
secretary of state has never read
Sinclair Lewiss It Cant Happen
Here. Bakers optimism isnt
warranted if all branches of the
It will mean accepting some things which government are occupied by the
make too many liberals feel uncomfortable. For same party and all work in concert
example, that loving your country is not a base to advance a party agenda, as
sentiment and that caring for your own before opposed to one for the nation.
you care for others is a natural human instinct. Astrophysicist11122
When a minister proposed immigrants swear Via FT.com
an oath of loyalty to British values, he was met
with howls of derision from the liberal left. And Re your piece on the decline of coral
yet, many voters might wonder what is so terrible in the Great Barrier Reef (Paradise
about asking new arrivals to commit to upholding Lost, Dec 17/18), Ive little doubt
democracy, equality and freedom of speech. My climate change is real. But scientists
point is not to support the oath but to suggest that would do well to admit how little
the liberal mindset has its own set of prejudices they know about the worlds
which limit its appeal. Intolerance is not the sole complex systems. If, for example,
property of the populist right. the tropical seas are warming,
Liberals also need to challenge their own sacred we can expect to see more coral
cows. This means standing up to intolerance growth in cooler subtropical waters
within minorities just as rmly as they stand up and perhaps this is more likely
to intolerance of minorities. Muscular liberals than a sudden mass extinction.
should not ignore repression of women or Bill Johnson
intolerance of gay people because the repressors Via FT.com
happen to be from a religious minority.
The modern liberal feels impelled to condemn It was great to see Simon Kuper
attitudes without bothering to gure out why address the issues raised in his
others nd them reasonable. Sometimes this is column (Poor, white and no longer
necessary in the cause of social progress the forgotten, Dec 17/18). But he is
battle for gay rights was one which saw the wrong to write off the immigration
country pulled along. But, as 2016 has shown, the question. Whenever members of
elastic can only be stretched so far before it snaps the white working class ask for
back. One can, for instance, delight in the new more support, they are told that
respect shown to the transgender community, funds are limited. They are thus
and still not want to be told that men and women hypersensitive to any prospect
must now be called cis men and cis women. of queue-jumping by outsiders.
The rst step then for a muscular liberal We should recognise that this is a
ghtback is to rebuild the relationship with large legitimate concern and recongure
magazineletters@ft.com
portions of the electorate. This means no longer the immigration and welfare
dismissing those who take pride in their country. systems to address it, for example
One reason why some voters have embraced the by moving welfare to a contributory
mean-spirited, inward-looking views of populist basis, discouraging low-skilled
leaders is that those leaders seemed to be the only immigration and prioritising social
ones sympathising with them. housing for long-term residents.
At a recent conference, one left-leaning Mysterion
speaker, noting that older voters stood in the way Via FT.com
of liberal reform, observed to loud laughter that
social progress will be won, one funeral at a
time a good line, but the problem with wishing No issue next weekend
voters dead is that they tend to hold it against you. We are not publishing an issue on
Muscular liberalism is going to require its December 31 2016/January 1 2017
leaders to start liking the voting public again. If, but will be back on January 7/8 2017.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
like me, you believe in the essential decency of
to all our readers.
your nation and its people, this ought not to be too
difficult. Even in tough economic times, voters
To contribute Please email
will let you appeal to their better angels, but only
magazineletters@ft.com. Include
once they think you are actually on their side. 6 a daytime telephone number and
full address (not for publication).
robert.shrimsley@ft.com; Twitter @robertshrimsley Letters may be edited.
The Financial Times Ltd 2016 No part of this magazine may be reproduced in any form without the prior express permission of the publisher
 My capacity
for immediate
anger is
surprising

After reinventing the role of the straight man in The Office, Martin Freeman
has gone on to lead roles in Sherlock, Fargo and The Hobbit. He talks to
Henry Mance about his need for privacy, his passion for politics and why
hes not on Twitter. Portrait by Norbert Schoerner

14
ft.com/magazine january 12/13 2013 15

I never liked sychologists have apparently discovered that
there are two types of swearing: social swearing,
smoking. which builds solidarity, and annoyance swearing,
which releases tension. On meeting Martin
I like Freeman it seems as if these categories alone
cannot possibly be enough. With Freeman,
swearing. there is also curious swearing, apathetic
swearing, jealous swearing, joyful swearing.
I think There are some F-words that stand alone
proud, like drunks in the rain, and others that
swearing squeeze into the smallest slot, like commuters
unwilling to wait for the next Tube.
serves a Dont put all these swear words in, he briey
pleads at the end of our chat. Just say bally.
purpose I was bally miffed. I agree not to name the US
politician who he just called a f***ing moron.
But havent people told him to swear less? Yeah,
they have. And I have tried. And Ive found
its just not for me. Smiling, he contrasts it to
giving up smoking. I never liked smoking. I like
swearing. I think swearing serves a purpose.
Vocabulary is only one reason that Freeman,
famous for his roles in The Office, The Hobbit
and Sherlock, can be a tricky conversationalist.
The 45-year-old is so mindful of his privacy
that he has previously refused to say when
he was born or if he is married. He arrives
at our meeting with Beats headphones,
and when I ask what he was listening to,
he helpfully replies: Various things.
I like to keep something in reserve, I just
do. Which I think is totally normal and totally
sane. The way I see it if my work life is for you,
why the f*** would I make my private life for
you? Its insane that anyone would give up both
sides of their life for public consumption. Some
people want to do it. Completely their f***ing
funeral. But I I absolutely reserve the right
not to, he explains. I think its nice not
knowing stuff.
stuff. And sometimes I do like
lying to people. Occasionally, just
bbing.
bbing.
Dont get the wrong idea. Freeman is not
your worst nightmare of an overpaid, ill- I think its
mannered actor; hes not even a nightmare.
British journalists often treat celebrities as our nice not
parents handled vegetables pressure-cooking
them to the point where no texture can possibly knowing
remain. But with Freeman, you do hit rawness.
Such as when we stumble onto the topic of his stuff
Sherlock co-star, Amanda Abbington. Im not
with Amanda any more, he whispers about sometimes
the partner/possible wife/possible ex-wife
he met in 2001, and with whom he has two I do like
children. Its very, very amicable Ill always
love Amanda. Later, I ask if success has made lying to
him happier. To a certain extent, yes, he
says. Not as much as it might have done, and people
not as much as maybe I would have hoped it
had. It comes across as a tender admission.
Perhaps Freemans greatest achievement
was to reinvent the role of the straight man for
the age of y-on-the-wall comedy. In the 2001-
2003 series The Office, with a single appalled
stare or conspiratorial glance at the camera, he
brought home the true awfulness of David Brent.
And then, just as other actors started to
copy him, he got bored and branched out.
His rise can be charted by his answer to the
perennial question: is he the everyman actor?
There wasnt a huge leap from his breakout
role in The Office Tim Canterbury, the playful,
likeable one to his cameo in Love Actually
John, the diffident porn star who apologises
to his co-star for being a bit forward.
In 2005, when those were his only real hits,
his response in an interview to the everyman
question was a shrug: Yes, OK, theres worse
things to be. But after becoming Bilbo Baggins
and Dr John Watson, he started to resist the
label. To be honest, I dont really know what
that means, he protested to The Sunday Times
in 2013. These days his CV includes the complete
$745m Hobbit trilogy and the award-winning
TV drama Fargo, alongside Billy Bob Thornton.
He has done three series of BBC mega-drama
Sherlock, and returns for a fourth on New Years
Day. So he is even less tolerant of the idea
that his parts might be, well, a little similar.
If you genuinely think that John Watson
is the same as Tim Canterbury, that tells me
everything I need to know about your critical
facility, he begins, withdrawing from the
latte in front of him. People draw dots. Ive
been a fairly reasonable person so they think,
Oh, hes just like a guy I know. And so I could
probably do it. And so everything hes doing is
the same. Mate, if you think you could do it,
f***ing ll your boots. Please be my guest.
If I make it look easy without being a c***
about it, thats because Im good. If it was all that
easy, every f***er would be doing it. And trust
me, theyre not. Theyre really not. You see an
awful lot of acting going on. And if you think Im
not acting, well, ne. Ive done my job then.
Partly it is Freemans appearance that
makes his acting look unspectacular. Look
at his cartoon face and his hair. He looks like
a Fisher-Price man. And his rubbish clothes, Previous page: Martin
mocked Gareth Keenan, his ctional co-worker Freeman photographed
at The Soho Hotel,
in The Office. And its true: Freeman wouldnt
London. Left: as Bilbo
stand out if he werent famous. He does put a Baggins in The Hobbit:
fair amount of effort into looking smart. His An Unexpected
hero is Paul Weller, and his aesthetic is mod: Journey (2012)
ft.com/magazine december 24/25 2016
 today hes wearing a silk scarf, a red leather
jacket and red socks. We are sitting in a plush
Soho hotel, with surprisingly bad background
music. In the day, Soho is my favourite place
in the world, says Freeman, who, following
his break-up, lives in genteel Belsize Park.
O
And the night? Im too old for that shit now.
n screen, Freeman has
perfected a glorious,
exasperated pause
where he purses his
lips, looks to one side,
and steels himself for
the hell that is other
people. His presence
Thank almost automatically
pulls in audiences sympathies. In Sherlock, he
God I found makes Watson, the detectives sidekick and
best friend, into the most attractive character
acting while conceding there must be something dark
in a veteran of Afghanistan with a continued
because thirst for danger. He even manages to emit
affability in Fargo, where he plays a Minnesotan
I wasnt insurance salesman whose idea of emotionally
engaging with his wife is murdering her.
a good I now am mindful of you think this guys an
everyday guy, but then we nd out something
enough about him, he says, of his choice of roles. I am
pretty f***ing picky, and an awful lot of stuff
painter or I dont do... I do things purely on the criteria
criterion he corrects himself, where other
songwriter actors might not that Im interested in them.
ft.com/magazine december 24/25 2016
To be honest, without sounding like Alan Above: with Sherlock
Partridge, I bounced back. I get those roles co-star Benedict
Cumberbatch.
those roles that are the polar opposite of those
Below: as Lester
slightly passive, reactive parts... The character Nygaard in Fargo
that I played in Captain America, that Im about
to do more of in Black Panther two Marvel
lms is more authoritative, guy-in-charge,
government guy.
A couple of years ago, Freeman said he still
hadnt arrived. Has he now? Yeah, in some
ways. [But] I dont know if Tom Cruise feels hes
arrived Because theres always someone else
doing something you should be doing.
His role in Captain America was eeting,
but it is still the big time. Does he notice the
power of big Hollywood budgets? No, you
dont, he says. Where you notice it is in
the catering if theres posh snacks, and if
inching when you say, Can I get
no ones inching
a coffee?
Everyone wants more time and money.
The only job Ive done where that didnt seem to
be the case was The Hobbit... ... Every budget other
than that that Ive ever done has been F***,
were running out of time.
Freeman grew up in Teddington, south-west
London, the youngest of ve
ve children; his mum
and dad, a former naval officer,
officer, who separated
when he was young, imparted a certain
creativity. We werent the Von Trapps. My dad
was a painter, we all painted. Mum had been
shed wanted to be an actor, when she was
younger; life took over, the 1950s took over.
17
 Ive got But you know, we all knew we were allowed.
That was a big thing, he says.
quite a low There were books in the house. You
always knew you were allowed to think, to
boredom express yourself. In fact, in the Freeman
family youd better f***ing express yourself
threshold because Dont be boring. Dont be a spectator.
Bring something. Whether it was music or
I bore art, people did some stuff in my family. And
thank God I found acting because I wasnt
myself a good enough painter or songwriter.
Music was indeed the dream; his elder
quite easily brother Tim was in the 1980s band Frazier
Chorus. Way before I wanted to be an actor,
I wanted to be in The Specials, he says. Before
acting before this life I had my other inner
life, which I still have. So if Im not hanging
out with actors, and people who understand
this world, which I really love, Im chatting
about shoes with someone in Bar Italia.
He studied at Londons Central School of
Speech and Drama. I remember a thing that
one of the teachers said: If you want to escape
from yourself, or if you think youre going to be
someone else, then acting is the worst job in the
world. Because this tells you more about yourself
than you want to know. Which I think is really
interesting and really true. Ive always felt that
the really, really interesting stuff that we see
actors do has to be them If youre not drawing
on truth for you, then its f***ing pointless.
Freeman dropped out of acting school to
join the National Theatre, before surfacing
18
on television. It ts with his general desire
to move on: he says he was glad when The
Office came to an end after just two series. (He
watched the US remake, starring Steve Carell
as the Brent gure and John Krasinski as the
American version of Tim, but lost contact
with it after the fourth of the nine series.)
Ive got quite a low boredom threshold,
H
including in myself. I bore myself quite easily.
ow long will he continue
with Sherlock? All I can
say... is that I love things
being nite... Im always
happy to stop before
people have wanted you
to stop, or The Beatles
would still be going. Im
very, very glad that they
went, No, thats enough.
As a teenager, Freeman played competitive
squash but quit because of a lack of a killer
instinct, he says. Does he have a killer instinct
as an actor? I dont think you need it in acting.
REX; ALAMY; WIREIMAGE/GETTY IMAGES; BBC
One of the least attractive traits I nd in actors
is people who think they can win at acting...
That they think art is something you can win
at... And you do come across it. Oh, I smashed
it. F***ing knocked it out the park. Thats for
me thats an aspect of modern life where I
feel about 100 years old I think people used
to say it ironically around here. Its ceased to
be ironic its now just, Yeah, Im amazing.
ft.com/magazine december 24/25 2016
Im not Which brings us to Ricky Gervais, his co-star
in The Office, who has now fully outgrown the
very fond UK and perhaps his own head. Freeman, who
has not seen Gervais for ages, searches for
of overly the right amount of mischief. I like that he
uses a lot of his voice against animal cruelty,
serious, I really admire that. And the rest of his voice
about self-aggrandisement, which is ne.
earnest Its a fty-fty thing: he loves himself, but
he also sticks up for puppies. Contrast that
people with Freemans view of Fargo co-star Billy Bob
Thornton: He and I would talk about music
endlessly. He basically is still that southern
Beatles fan, who he always, always, always was.
How does Freeman keep himself sane? I
put the kettle on. Genuinely. Without being
glib about it. I put the kettle on, put a record
on, see the kids, and its gone Ive never
gone home thinking, Im still that character.
Some actors want that. They think thats what
makes good acting. Especially younger actors
I stayed in character all weekend. Did you?
O
Good for you, man. No, Ive never done that.
f Freemans major
roles, none is overtly
political. Yet the man
himself most denitely
is. I grew up aware that
people were pissed off.
He started acting in
youth theatre, because
I thought I could bring
down the Tory government (and also cos Im a
f***ing show-off). As a teenager he volunteered
with the Labour partys Young Socialists wing,
then ruled by Militant, a revolutionary group
whose leaders were ultimately banned from
Labour. I would occasionally be selling Militant
[its in-house magazine] and be raising money
for Militant, just by dint of the fact that was sort
of who ran the Labour Party Young Socialists.
Gradually he has lost condence perhaps not
in radical ideas, but in their application. Acting
for political reasons is tedious. Im not very
fond of overly serious, earnest people. Im not
very fond of people who dont see shades.
Freeman remains a Labour supporter, fronting
a party election broadcast for Ed Miliband in
2015, and joining the party later that year to vote
for Jeremy Corbyn. But he recognises that his
commitment may be irrational. To be absolutely
honest, it is like a football team. I was very clear
I did the Labour broadcast because thats my
team. However f***ed up the team is its like
the BBC, thats my team. I will go to the grave for
the BBC. Even when theyre driving me nuts.
Labour is driving many people nuts, but not
quite Freeman. To my slight dismay, he seems
keen for a discussion about the divisions between
the partys members and its MPs, before satisfying
himself with: I want Labour in power, so I hope
now that this is going to work. To be absolutely
honest, I think its a minor miracle whenever
a Labour party gets into power, whoever it is.
Facing page: (top) With Corbyn, I do understand that the danger
with cast members is its T-shirt politics. But genuinely Ive wanted
from The Office; with things to be f***ing renationalised for ever.
former partner Amanda
Abbington. This page:
He talks about it, like I think a Labour leader
with Emily VanCamp should But I dont think he is the messiah.
in Captain America: Is it harder or easier for Freeman to be a
Civil War socialist now that hes rich? Its harder because
ft.com/magazine december 24/25 2016
I know more. Because I also know that I dont
know anything. The reason I would never go
on Question Time I love watching Question
Time, its one of my favourite programmes
I would get into a conversation with you
about trade decits, and youd f***ing take
me to the cleaners... Id go on there and just
want to be liked and thats pathetic.
I ask how rich he is. I dont pay attention to
that. But he must get bank statements. I dont
look at them. Honest to God, I dont look at
them Maybe because I think if I look, it wont
be as much as I thought it was. He can, of course,
afford pretty much everything. He spent 6,500
on an 1852 map of London Beautiful As
soon as you go anywhere east youre in Essex
but it was a one-off. Mostly its clothes, and
the odd luxury holiday. I dont do it as easily
as some people I know do. I was going to say I
wish I had more ease with it. But then thats
me. Then Id be someone slightly different.
The discomfort is one thing; the anger
is another. I go on the basis that were all
everything and it just depends which button
you turn up at any given time. You can be really
happy or really angry. You can throw your head
back in laughter, and other times you can be a
miserable sod, I presume, because I think f***ing
everyone can be. Well, yes, but that is, by my
count, his 40th F-word of the conversation
my dial doesnt go that far. My capacity for
immediate anger is surprising sometimes, he
concedes. Even surprises me. F***ing hell, like,
Where did that come from? I push him for an
example. People dont say please and thank
you. Drives me f***ing nuts. He has no social
media accounts, because, My career would be
over within ve minutes. If I was on Twitter, I
would be f***ed, f***ed. Five minutes. Success
has not changed whats in there, he says,
gesturing at his chest inside his red leather coat.
Did he think fame would sort him out? No.
But I thought age might. I thought, F***ing hell,
by 45, surely I wont be thinking this shit in my
head Im not so wound up as I was at 23 about
wrong and right, and about my motivations. Now
I just acknowledge that my own motivations
for everything are pretty f***ing muddy.
If I was on
Freemans two children are old enough to
think of becoming actors. Is he wary of that?
Twitter,
Absolutely Yeah, theyre talented. Especially
our daughter is more front foot into the idea.
my career
For me, its about balancing encouragement
with non-delusion. And also trying to inculcate
would be
those things of work not just hard work,
although hard work is a big part of it, but also
over in five
taste and why do you want this? Because if you
think you want this because of this f***ing
minutes
huge trailer that youre in now, because youre
having lunch with me, thats not a good reason,
because this probably wont happen, just by
law of averages. I cant make this happen, I
wouldnt want to f***ing make this happen.
Im not sure quite what type of
swearing this is, but it seems almost
caressing, parental. Whatever strange
re
re burns inside Martin Freeman, it does
at least throw off some warmth. 6
Henry Mance is an FT political
correspondent. Sherlock series four
begins on January 1 on BBC One
19
 Carneys monetary
inactivity is right response
Is the turbulence Martin Wolf
January 21 2016
to quote Macbeth a tale told
by an idiot
Screen test: how to
create French-style
introducing lakes espaliers in the garden
Robin Lane Fox
moving tatty villages January 29 2016
if necessary
The pampered pigs and
happy hens set to save
but designer pigs Chinas economy
Patti Waldmeir
maybe thats what Beijing means February 1 2016
by the new normal
Market turmoil: trail of broken
trades forces a rethink
Burns advised a mouse Dan McCrum, Miles Johnson
and David Sheppard
the best laid schemes too often February 12 2016
lead to grief and pain
The consequences
of cheap oil
Keynesian slowdown Tim Harford
February 19 2016
in a world economy
trying to spend less Journalists
s such as
I dont want to change the Boris John
nson dont make
world and nor should you good prim
me ministers
yet I realise Lucy Kellaway Alan Beattie
February 21 2016
that in clinging on to it June 29 2016
Im an oddity
Venezuela risks a descent
into chaos
written on deadline
no one is punished
while families have to keep
Andres Schipani
April 10 2016 by someone way off his beat
their pain to themselves and out of his depth

In the pink pages

hidden within articles
a horde of haiku
Illustrations by Cat ONeil

The haiku is a powerful poetic
form derived from the original
Japanese style, with its structured
three lines of five, seven and five
syllables. David Lanoue, haiku
poet and author, defines it as:
A one-breath poem that discovers
connection. Theyre beautiful but
not something you expect to find
many of in the FT.
However, in a fit of
experimentation earlier this year,
we created an algorithm that
can identify all the fragments of
text in FT articles that (entirely
accidentally) match the syllable
pattern. While most of the
matches are nonsense, with some
human effort we can pick out
those that seem to work as haiku
in their own right. Suddenly,
Martin Wolf is a poet. So is Lucy
Kellaway. Now, at the end of
2016, we can present the year
as seen by our writers (albeit
unintentionally) in haiku. 7
By Chris Gathercole, founder of
the FT Hidden Haiku project
ft.com/hiddenhaiku

20 ft.com/magazine december 24/25 2016

 David Miliband joins Are these the
Brexit debate
a cold hard lesson David Miliband
worlds worst cities?
April 11 2016 David Tang
in the demon of hubris May 5 2016
born of delusion
Glanbia CEO Siobhn
Talbot is Irelands most
grim countenances
as she speaks the sun
hiding their secret losses
senior businesswoman
Vincent Boland
breaks through the rain-darkened sky May 8 2016
illuminating and others smiling
Postcard from...Cambodia
Harriet Fitch Little
an arrow pointing June 3 2016

unceremoniously
towards his remains
Head slapping Benny Hill-
style is a nuisance
telling you again now Lucy Kellaway
July 5 2016
in front of everyone
to stop doing it
Erdogan claims Turkey
coup is crushed
The sound of gunshots FT reporters
July 16 2016
explosions and the sonic
boom of fighter jets
Free Lunch:
Play the ball, not the man
organisations Martin Sandbu
August 12 2016
reflect the priorities Harry Potter and the Brexit
aftermath coming soon
of the powerful felt uncomfortably to UK theatre
Rosemary Squire
like someone had forgotten September 15 2016
Transcript of Alan
Rusbridgers Lunch with the to write the ending
when you know something FT with Edward Snowden
Edward Snowden
when you care about something September 12 2016
Nano-machine inventors
win Nobel chemistry prize
and you say nothing spinning cranks and wheels Clive Cookson
October 5 2016
unaware that they would lead
to electric trains
SNP members divided
on referendum timing
For many members Mure Dickie and
Henry Mance
a second referendum October 14 2016
cannot come too soon
Prepare for a reversal
of monetary rule under
bewildering mix President Trump
Gillian Tett
knitted together only November 10 2016
with populism
Tony Blair plans his
second coming
jetting round the world Robert Shrimsley
November 24 2016
greasing up to dictators
and making millions
Free Lunch: Trump Lunch with the FT:
supporters on the couch radical performance artist
Martin Sandbu She does her thing cuts Marina Abramovic
Jan Dalley
August 17 2016 her body sits for hours December 2 2016
in agony burns
more white older more Sometimes talking, not
tech, is the answer to social

male more religious and more am just old enough

to remember teenage life
problems
Helen Lewis
December 2 2016
likely to be blue before mobile phones

21
22
THE ICEMEN COMETH

Every winter, Kazakh fishermen brave one of the coldest places on

earth to search for sustenance, just as their nomadic forebears did.
Words and photographs by Aleksey Kondratyev

23
 F
or generations, Kazakh
fishers have set out on to
the frozen Ishim River
in the hope of catching
fish beneath the ice.
The Ishim flows through
the countrys capital, Astana, a
high-rise, futuristic city that was
built essentially from scratch in the
1990s, when Kazakhstan started to
benefit from the exploitation of its
oil reserves. Its supposed to be an
emblem of post-Soviet modernity,
a hallmark of the countrys
nationhood. But not everyone
there has profited equally.
Many of these fishermen
venture on to the ice in order to
feed themselves and their families,
braving temperatures that often
reach -40 degrees (north-central
Kazakhstan is the second-coldest
24
populated region in the world, after
Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia).
While they fish, they protect
themselves from the harsh weather
with salvaged pieces of plastic,
patched together from discarded
trash or rice bags that you can find
outside markets selling western,
Chinese and Russian goods. I first
saw them when I was travelling
through central Asia, working on
another photographic project;
they were like inadvertent
sculptures on the ice.
Kazakhstan was once a nomadic
country, and some vestiges of that
way of life still exist. These ice
fishers improvise and adapt to their
environment in ingenious ways,
just as their forebears did. 6
alekseykondratyev.com
Protecting
themselves with
salvaged pieces of
plastic, they look
like inadvertent
sculptures on
the ice

25
 Douglas
Couplands
Observations
Y
esterday I found myself emailing to
arrange a phone call with someone
in New York. I suggested a number of
times that worked on my end could
they perhaps choose one or suggest
their own times? And then it dawned
on me: arranging to speak with people on the
phone these days feels a lot like arranging with
a hygienist to get your teeth cleaned. It has to
be done, lets just get it over with. Nobody likes
speaking on phones any more. When did this
happen? Why did this happen?
***
I remember being on the train from London to
Scotland in the late 1990s and there was a guy
Wing
barking into his phone, exhibiting no boundaries
whatsoever. My publicist said, Listen to Yorkie
over there. Looks like somebody likes the sound
of their voice quite a bit, I should think. These
days, Yorkie is long gone. Speaking on a phone on
Wing
a train these days puts a black letter L on your
forehead. Weve all changed.
***
My mother is convinced I have a secret phone
with a secret phone number. I try to tell her that
nobody speaks on phones these days, but she
wont believe it. My outgoing message on my cell
Nobody likes speaking is that I dont check messages. I dont. I havent durability just ask anyone from a household
checked voicemail in more than two years.
on phones any more. People still sometimes leave messages. Its
When did this happen? their choice.
Gosh! I wonder if I have any voicemail!
Why did this happen? Not.
Illustrations by James Joyce ***
I think the worst possible kind of phone call is
the group phone call, where everyone calls in
and where it feels as if your soul is being gently
smothered by carbon monoxide.
Hi, its Gary, who else is here?
Kate here.
Im here.
Whos that then?
Rob.
26
Rob, I cant hear you.
I cant hear properly. Im calling back.
Wait who was that?
I think Katie.
My lines fuzzy.
Where are Pam and Jason?
I think they said theyd be late.
Hi!
Whos that?
Its Jason. Pam is phoning from
somewhere else.
Rob, I cant hear you properly.
***
I remember rotary dial phones. They were
produced after the second world war in New
Jersey by a US government-sanctioned monopoly
called Bell Labs. The government thought
communications were far too important to be
left in the hands of raw capitalism and, to their
credit, Bell Labs designed phones of stunning
full of children back then. BTW, Ive also noticed
that nobody forgets their rst phone number and
everyone remembers the phone number of their
friend early on in life. Perhaps no longer. Current
phone numbers often resemble gene sequences
in their length and complexity. Whod want
to remember one? Remember something that
might come in useful instead, like pi.
***
I remember the rst time I called somebody in
Hawaii, where the area code is 808. By the end of
dialling the zero I was in a kind of hypnotic trance
owing to the relaxing and drug-like gentle buzz of
the rotary dial. This was in 1985. I then wondered
why Hawaii got such a long-to-dial area code
and discovered at my local library that you could
pretty much tell the geopolitical signicance of
the place you were dialling back in the 1950s and
1960s by the amount of time it took the rotary
dial to dial the area code. New York, with the
highest call volume, got the fastest-to-dial area
code, 212. LA got 213; Chicago,312; Michigans
Upper Peninsula, 906.
ft.com/magazine december 24/25 2016
 The worst kind of
phone call is the
group call, where
everyone calls in and
where it feels as if
youur soul is being
gently
y smothered by
carrbon monoxide

ft.com/magazine december 24/25 2016 27

 Ive noticed that
increasingly people
waiting at red lights dont
move when the light turns
green. Cellphones.

***
Last month I was at a red light at the busy
corner of Thurlow and Alberni in Vancouver. I
was looking up someones number on my iPhone
when a police cars sirens went whoot-whoot and
rarely in my life have I ever felt so undeniably
busted by the law. Inside the police car were a pair
of theatrically sullen cops: PULL OVER.
All right, all right. Fortunately, someone
elses misfortune elsewhere called the car away,
but not before the ercer of the two said, That
would have been a $400 ticket!
Whoot-whoot!
This incident did precipitate, however, my
observation, starting a few years back, that
increasingly people waiting at red lights dont
move when the light turns green. Cellphones.
Ive also noticed that cars tend to weave a
bit more in traffic these days, especially on
highways. Cellphones.
It appears traffic fatalities, after decades of
decline, are now noticeably rising. Cellphones?
Cellphones.
***
In Italy in the 1980s, public phones required
that one buy gettoni, brass slugs used exclusively
in public phones, yet nding gettoni for sale
was always difficult, time-wasting and boring.
Heaven help you if you had to place a long-
distance call back then. You had to book an
appointment, get a booth and then an operator
would place the call for you. It was a lot like
setting up a conference call in 2016.
In Scotland in 1987, I called my brother back
home from a Glasgow hotel room and the bill
came to 72 and I freaked out. The desk manager
kept on saying, But sir, your phone call was 300
pips long.
What the hell is a pip?
A pip is a pip, sir. Ahhh a tautology, spoken
by Basil Fawltys clone.
In the end I got the price cut in half but still
felt grossly overcharged. Travellers are often
grossly overcharged because they have no form

28 ft.com/magazine december 24/25 2016


of redress. Take roaming fees. Im a broken record
on this subject: telecoms companies are still
multiplexing ever more phone calls out of optical
bre they laid down in the 1990s. Roaming fees
are essentially free money for them and even
quite conceivably theft. Yet to hear telecoms
talk, youd think they send every penny they can
into R&D in order to give you the ne reception
you doubtless receive.
***
A few years back, a Canadian telecoms company
wanted to install 100ft-high cell towers in
my part of town, and they were to stand for a
minimum of 75 years. The company tried to
quietly slip it through council, which failed,
and, after this, local protests sprouted, along the
lines of Soccer Moms Against Cancer. The towers
never got built, and, as I knew would happen
from research, the technology changed and 100ft
towers were no longer needed. They just wanted
to get it built and have it there for 75 years.
Why is it so hard to trust telecoms? As you can
see in the arena of advertising, the other guys
absence of trustworthiness seems to be every
companys main selling point. What a mess, and
I do think cell telephony is one of the few forms
of capitalism that is actually degraded with
competition. Bell did a ne job with a monopoly
and thats maybe not just a coincidence.
***
The central idea of this essay is that nobody
speaks on the phone any more. A corollary of
this is that people once did. While I have fond
memories of phoning people (phone call +
cigarette = heaven), Id never want to go back to
it. Why dawdle or waste time when a quick text
or two can do the trick? This is a trick question
because you have to ask yourself, what are you
going to do with all the time you saved by texting
and not phoning? The answer: send more texts.
***
Sometimes you see little kids holding something
up to their ear pretending to talk on the phone.
Its endearing because they want to be smart
ft.com/magazine december 24/25 2016
and grown-up, but how long will it be, once that
child nally gets a phone, before they realise they
dont want to talk on one?
***
I y across Canada a lot and sometimes Ill be over
Nowhere, Saskatchewan when my phone kicks
in and I receive a pile of text messages. How does
that happen some magic antenna on the ground
aimed in just the right direction? I once made
a phone call when I entered one of these prairie
data warps, and what was the rst thing
I said? You wont believe where Im calling
from! And then I realised I was speaking on
a phone and thus promptly ended the call.
***
In Madrid in 1995, I had to check for messages
back home and learnt that touch-tone dialling
hadnt yet reached Spain. The hotels concierge
kindly loaned me a plastic diaphragm that
resembled a Starbucks coffee lid, which
then clamped on to the phone, which then
allowed you to enter touch tones. Talk about
a transitional technology, but it worked. Thank
you, Spain.
***
I remember having fun on the phone. Phones
were once the only game in town. The experience
of using one was far more charged than might
now be imagined. But then, sometimes, only
the phone will do. It was around midnight
Pacic Time when I found out David Bowie
died; I spent the next three hours calling
friends around the planet. Email didnt cut it,
so there you go.
***
Why take something
nobody wants to
do anyway (speak
on the phone) and add
the surplus bummer of
having to be visible?
Last night my mother was asking why dont all
of our fancy-shmancy devices allow us to have
video phone calls, so I walked into the den and
FaceTimed her. She freaked out and immediately
pointed her iPhone camera to the ceiling: I dont
want people seeing me! Thats why phone calls
are called phone calls!
Im mixed on video calls like Skype or Googles
Hangout: Skype, because the image quality is so
degraded and its rules for names and passwords
and actually everything about it feel so over-
complex. Hangouts not so bad, but still, why take
something nobody wants to do anyway (speak
on the phone) and add the surplus bummer
of having to be visible? Some press outlets are
now asking people interviewed by their staff to
do so via Skype so they can archive the call or
interview on their website forever and ever and
ever and ever. Who thought that was a good idea?
Unattering camera angle? Check. Bad colour?
Check. Scratchy and wobbly sound quality?
Check. Perfect storm.
***
Theres a joke I learnt growing up, and its fun for
both kids and adults. Take a bent matchstick or
small strip of foil or cardboard and place it over
someones nger. Then you ask them to repeat
after you: Wing wing.
Them: Wing wing.
Pause for three seconds.
You: Wing wing.
Them: Wing wing.
Pause for three seconds.
You: Wing wing.
Them: Wing wing.
Then you pick up the piece of foil and hold it to
your ear and say Huwo? Mirth! 6
Douglas Couplands new collection of stories and
essays Bit Rot is published by William Heinemann
(20). A museum show of the same name is on at
Munichs Villa Stuck
29
 S
A

T R
with Neil

Z deGrasse
Tyson

G G
I
A
N
Americas superstar astrophysicist has brought the marvels of space to
the masses. At the Royal Observatory, he tells Kadhim Shubber how
to find the Little Dipper, the truth about star signs and why he wouldnt
say no to a Trump space commission. Photographs by Marco Kesseler

ft.com/magazine october 9/10 2010 31

 Neil deGrasse Tyson and
Kadhim Shubber gaze at
the Royal Observatorys
planetarium in Greenwich

Y
es, the plan was a tad
optimistic. The month of
December and the city of
London are far from ideal
choices for stargazing.
Thats the diplomatic
way of putting it. Neil
deGrasse Tyson is more
blunt. This is London. I
cant believe you guys said, Lets go outside and
well film the night sky, he tells me and his
publicist. You guys are delusional.
We are at the Royal Observatory in Greenwich,
south-east London. The weather is painfully over-
cast and clouds have scuppered our chances of
viewing the stars through the observatorys 28in
Great Equatorial Telescope, the largest refracting
telescope in the UK. In the past, Tyson has schooled
the likes of Michael Bloomberg and David Koch on
the ins and outs of stargazing by telescope. Sadly,
I will have to settle for the artificial sky of
Greenwichs planetarium.
Tyson is Americas most famous living astro-
physicist and something of an internet celebrity. A
graduate of Harvard with a PhD from Columbia, the
58-year-old has used his extraordinary gifts of com-
munication to bring the wonder of the cosmos to
the masses first through television, writing, and
radio; now through social media, podcasts and video.
He has more than six million followers on Twitter,
and three and a half million likes on Facebook. In
one YouTube video, he discusses the most astound-
ing fact in the universe that the elements that
make up our bodies were created by exploding stars.
The clip has been watched more than 10 million
times. As an evangelist for science and astronomy,
he is the digital heir to Carl Sagan, the astronomer,
author and broadcaster who captured the imagina-
tion of the American public during the cold war.
We enter the observatory at about 8.30pm and
Tyson, who carries a backpack and is wearing a
brown fedora, approaches the security desk and
throws a joke at the guards. Is the universe safe,
security of the universe? Are you normally open
this late? As we walk towards the planetarium, he
is briefly distracted by the large astrophotography
prints on display. You tell me youre getting Earth
shine? he exclaims, pointing to a picture of the
Moon (Earth shine is when light reflects from the
Earth on to the Moon, and then back again, allow- IN THE EVENING, WERE
ing us to glimpse the dark parts of the Moon). Hours
later, with the clock approaching midnight and my WORKING LATE, WE HAVE
neck aching from leaning back to stare at the plan- NETFLIX. WE DONT HAVE
etariums dome, Tyson will be no less energised by
the observatorys photographs, stopping repeatedly A RELATIONSHIP WITH
to explain how they were created.
I confess to him that, at the age of 27, this is my
THE NIGHT SKY THE WAY
first time at a planetarium. In your whole life? OUR ANCESTORS DID
What the hell is wrong with you? he asks. I add to
my embarrassment by admitting I had studied
physics at university before I switched and took up
journalism, for reasons I still think are good

32 ft.com/magazine december 24/25 2016 ft.com/magazine december 24/25 2016 33


reasons, I explain. You wont get me to agree
with that, he says. Keep telling yourself that you
had good reasons.
Tonight, Tyson has promised a whistle-stop tour
of the constellations. But he has requested that the
planetarium staff beam up the classical illustrations
of the star groupings not just the stick figures that
most of us are familiar with. He is interested in the
imaginations of the ancients, who gazed up at the
stars and planets journeying across the inky black
sky, and noticed when certain configurations of
planets aligned with the seasons or the flooding of
rivers. Consider that, in modern times in the even-
ing, youre working late, you have Netflix movies
you want to watch, he says. We dont have a
relationship with the night sky the way that our
ancestors did. What else are they doing at night?
Theres no evening movies, theres no coffee shops.
Theyre out looking up at the night sky. So their
relationship to it was so much more significant
than it is for anybody today.
Think of the urge to imagine that the sky is
controlling Earth. Think about that. Youre in the
centre of all this movement, and the Moon does
one thing and the Sun does another thing and it
corresponds with when its time to harvest your
crops. This is the origins of why people are sure, to
themselves, that the universe is somehow affecting
their lives. The birth of astrology, basically.
T
ysons own fascination with the
universe began, aged nine, with a
visit to the Hayden Planetarium in
New York. He grew up in Riverdale,
an affluent part of the Bronx, and in
his 2000 autobiography, The Sky Is
Not the Limit, he recalled thinking that the star-filled
night sky he saw at the planetarium could be some
sort of hoax such is the poor astronomical diet
available to those living among the bright lights of
a city. He studied physics at Harvard, choosing it
over Cornell, where Carl Sagan worked, because his
analysis revealed that more writers in the magazine
Scientific American had studied there. He received
his PhD in astrophysics from Columbia University
in 1991 and worked as a research associate at
Princeton. In 1996, he became director of the
Hayden Planetarium, where he still works today.
He takes particular pride in his institutions research
into planets orbiting other stars, a field that has been
filled with discoveries in recent years. Theres like
a million of those now, I comment. I know, he theres no other star in a large swatch of the sky
replies. Three thousand, but close.
Greenwichs planetarium has little more than a
quarter of the Haydens seating capacity. This even-
ing, though, it is empty for us. Tyson is wearing a
flannel shirt, untucked and with three buttons
undone, his slight paunch belying the once-athletic
physique he had as a wrestler at high school and
university. As we take our seats, he sets the mood
by reminding me that there is little science to be
found in joining the dots between stars. Theres
34
IT REQUIRES
IMAGINATION TO COME
UP WITH EVERYTHING
CIVILISATION HAS
PLACED UPON THE SKY
nothing astrophysical about the night sky.
Constellations have no meaning. No scientific
meaning. Any more than the borders of the state
of Colorado have any geologic meaning. Theyre
just straight lines.
With that caveat in mind, we start with the Big
Dipper (better known to UK readers as the Plough),
a group of seven stars that form a handle connected
to a sort of bucket on the right. The name derives
from the way it dips down towards the horizon as
the Earth rotates, Tyson explains, placing his hand
on my arm to ensure hes got my full attention.
The two stars on the very right of the Big Dipper
are particularly useful as they point upwards
towards the north star, Polaris, which is not, as
some may think, the brightest star in the sky. Its
the 49th brightest star, says Tyson. That said,
that rivals the brightness of Polaris, so it should be
pretty easy to find.
Polaris has two important uses. For navigators,
it is vital as a tool for measuring their current lati-
tude the Earths axis points to it. So that means,
as we rotate, all the stars will appear to revolve
around Polaris like some kind of a pinwheel. [If you]
trudge north, then Polaris would get higher and
higher in the sky until we met Santa Claus and then
Polaris would be straight overhead, he explains.
The upshot for those sailing the seas is that the
elevation of Polaris above the horizon is the same
as your latitude.
The other use is less grand: Polaris lets us identify
the Little Dipper, appearing on the end of its
handle. So far Ive managed to keep up, aided by
Tysons laser pointer. But the two dippers are fairly
easy fodder they are not even constellations, they
are called asterisms, groups of interesting stars
within larger constellations.
Big Dipper and Little Dipper are part of the con-
stellations Ursa Major and Ursa Minor, respectively;
the big and little bear. The constellations were
catalogued in the second century by Greek astrono-
mer Ptolemy but had been known for centuries
even then. Its here that my pattern-spotting abili-
ties start to fail me, though Tyson is sympathetic.
You need huge imagination to see these things.
These are two furry bears in the sky. Do you really
see that or do you just see stars? If you really see
that, I would ask what you were smoking. It
requires extreme imagination to come up with
everything that the history of civilisation has
placed upon the sky.
The task is not made easier by the fact that most
of the constellations look nothing like the things
they are supposed to. Ursa Major and Ursa Minor
are far from the worst offenders although their
ft.com/magazine december 24/25 2016
particular crime is having tails, a characteristic no
real bear shares. So we have two bears in the sky
that are not even anatomically accurate, Tyson says.
It gets worse as we move on to the Zodiac, the
12 constellations that sit along the path of the Sun,
Moon and planets against the sky. Some of these
are complete stretches of the imagination. Like, do
you really get a crab here? Do you really get twins
here? he says, pointing at the constellations
Cancer and Gemini. Today, most people know these
constellations as their star sign, despite the fact
that they have shifted as the Earth wobbles on its
axis. The correspondence is off by an entire con-
stellation. So what that means is you thought you
were Taurus, youre actually an Aries.
N
ext, Tyson whisks us to the
southern hemisphere. Here, the embrace the nature of the criticism of that idea.
constellations have a mechanistic
flavour. There is a microscope, a
blast furnace, an air pump.
Europeans became acquainted
with much of the southern night sky far later than
the northern, and their choice of imagery reflected
this, Tyson explains. I took you here to impress
upon you that later in time, after the industrial
revolution, other things mattered more to people.
And since this is generally a European map of the
ft.com/magazine december 24/25 2016
night sky, we get to see what the Europeans were
thinking of at the time.
The heavens were entertainment in a time when
our heads were pulled up to the stars rather than
down to our screens, he says. Today, we have other
forms of diversion, among them the great cacoph-
ony of distractions provided by Twitter, where
Tyson is spending increasingly less of his time. I
found that people will go out of their way [there]
to say that Im wrong, he says.
One of his tweets that caused particular contro-
versy came in June: Earth needs a virtual country:
#Rationalia, with a one-line Constitution: All policy
shall be based on the weight of evidence. He tells
me: I was impressed how many people just thought
the idea was bad. It was like, How could you say
that governance by evidence is bad? I just could not
fundamental expectation that youve got to do an
In the 2000s, Tyson was appointed by then-US
president George W Bush to two White House com-
missions, one looking into the US aerospace indus-
try, the other charged with laying out a plan for
space exploration. I cant help but wonder whether
he would consider a similar role under the new
president-elect. The day after Donald Trumps vic-
tory, he tweeted: FYI: Manhattan, where people
know Trump best (hes lived, worked, & played
there most of his life), gave him 10% of the vote.
From far left Neil deGrasse
Tyson in Greenwich this
month; constellations
projected on to the
planetariums dome
How to find Polaris and
the Big and Little Dippers
Polaris
The Little Dipper
The Big Dipper
Video: watch Neil
deGrasse Tyson teach
Kadhim Shubber the
patterns of astronomy
at ft.com/stargazing
To my surprise, he says he wouldnt be averse
in principle. Youre being a servant of the needs
of the country, he says, though he distinguishes
between joining an independent commission and
direct, paid roles: If you are in a direct report to
the president, then you work for the president.
Whereas if I dont work for the president, then the
president works for me. Because Im a voter.
He wont comment on potential changes to space
policy under Trump. Im not going to chase
the phantom phrasings that have shown up,
stapled together from 10 different speeches hes
given. Im going to wait for something meaningful
to manifest.
The dream in Rationalia is that the scientific
method will become ingrained in policy making.
Generations of people will grow up with the
experiment or you have to take the measurements,
he says. The notion of acquiring evidence will
become fundamental to everyone. In ourTrumpian
world, this vision seems somehow more distant
and more important than ever. 6
Kadhim Shubber is an FT Alphaville reporter.
Welcome to the Universe: An Astrophysical Tour, by
Neil deGrasse Tyson, Michael A Strauss and J Richard
Gott, is published by Princeton University Press
35
Jancis
Robinson
Sweet success
S
ince there are so many
ways a wine can be made
sweet and/or strong,
I have grouped my
recommendations below
by type. First, those that
owe their sweetness purely to
the sugar naturally in the grapes.
Second, those made from grapes that
were dried to concentrate the sugar.
Third, those to which alcohol has
been added to stop the fermentation
and retain unfermented grape
sugar. And, nally, a group of drier
wines that have been fortied
by the addition of alcohol.
In the UK, Oddbins and
Berry Bros & Rudd have
particularly good ranges of these
seasonal and festive types of
wine. Within each group I have
tried to list these recommended
examples in ascending order
of price per centilitre.
NATURALLY SWEET
Marcarini 2015
MoscatodAsti
This is the anytime wine,
feather-light and refreshing
but, in this case, from a
ne source. Demonstrates
how much tax we pay on
stronger wines. Apple juice
of the most stimulating
sort. Very useful for
Christmas entertaining. 5%
13.35 Berry Bros & Rudd
Ch La Caussade 2012
Ste-Croix-du-Mont
This is a great price for a
well-balanced, well-made
sweet wine from just
outside Sauternes with a
delightful suggestion of
the famous noble rot.
Not that intense but
certainly very acceptable
in a baked apple sort of way. 13.5%
8.95 for 37.5cl Lea & Sandeman
ft.com/magazine december 24/25 2016
Ch Villefranche 2013 Sauternes
Excellent value for proper
Sauternes. Lively and racy, rather
than heavy, this can also be cellared
for another four or ve years. 14%
21.12 OW Loeb
De Bortoli, Australian
Show Liqueur 8-Year-
Old Muscat NV South
East Australia
Liqueur Muscat is one
of Australias great wine
treasures. If it came from
Rutherglen, it would
cost much more but
trust Aldi to have sniffed
out this fully mature, extremely
rich bargain from irrigated inland
vineyards. Naughty but nice on
nose and palate; terrible for the
teeth. 18%
8.99 for 50cl Aldi
Disznk, Late Harvest
2013 Tokaji
Pale golden marvel from Hungarys
historic sweet wine region. A rich
mix of almonds and apricots.
Excellent value. 12.5%
14.50 for 50 cl Oddbins
Vincent Carme,
Le Clos Demi-Sec
2010 Vouvray
Lovely, pure, maturing
Chenin Blanc bouquet of
almonds and Gripx glue.
There is so much pure
freshness in this classic
Loire white that the
wine tastes just off-dry. It would be
great with a chicken liver parfait,
for instance. Great denition and
precision a real pick-me-up. 13%
25.95 Berry Bros & Rudd
Ch Guiraud,
Petit Guiraud 2013 Sauternes
Not that sweet but with great
energy. This, like the Vouvray
above, is the sort of sweet
wine that could be drunk
with savoury foods. Attractive
toastiness. Really revitalising.
Better value than the 2002
Ch Guiraud grand vin from Berrys
at 54.95. 14%
12.95 VineyardsDirect.com
Disznk,
Asz 5 Puttonyos
2007 Tokaji
The current, rather
precocious vintage of
this producers grandest
wine and another one that
would be especially good
for savoury dishes. Very
round and nicely balanced
already. Lovely now with hints of
lime marmalade. 12.5%
26.99 for 50cl Waitrose, 30.95
or 28.75 as part of a mixed dozen
Lea & Sandeman
DRIED GRAPE WINES
Pellegrino,
Passito Liquoroso
2015 Pantelleria
Made from lightly dried Muscat
of Alexandria grapes grown on
this fashionable little island off
Sicily. Spicy notes of orange peel.
Very sweet and viscous. 15%
11 for 37.5cl Oddbins
Kyperounda,
Commandaria
2008 Cyprus
The signature Cypriot
sweet wine from one
of the renascent wine
islands nest producers
so much more refreshing
and less raisiny than
most Commandarias.
This orange-tawny wine has
been aged in wood and manages
to be both sweet and seriously
refreshing. Excellent value. 14%
17.95 for 50cl
Berry Bros & Rudd
Wha at to drink
this Christmas:
to see all Janciss festive
recomm mendations go to
ft.co
om/life-arts/
janccis-robinson
Dei 2009 Vin Santo di
Montepulciano
Heady, nutty, glorious, with
sweetness and edginess. Almonds
and real nerve. 14%
23.95 for 37.5cl or 21.75
if bought as part of a mixed dozen
Lea & Sandeman
Mullineux, Straw
Wine Chenin Blanc
2015 Stellenbosch
An old favourite that never
disappoints and seems to be
delicious even in extreme
youth. Intensely sweet but
kept vital by its refreshing
vibrancy. Like tarte Tatin
juice. Just 10% alcohol.
27.95 for 37.5cl Berry Bros & Rudd
STRONG AND SWEET
Barbeito 10-Year-Old
Sercial NV Madeira
Sercial can be bone
dry but this well-aged
charmer hovers rather
thrillingly on the edge of
sweetness. The rened
acidity that denes
madeira keeps it from
being at all cloying. 20%
31.25 or 28.95 as part of a mixed
dozen Lea & Sandeman
Taylors 20-Year-Old
Food&Drink Wine
Tawny NV Port
My sweet spot for the
age of wood-matured
port seems to be 20 years.
This one is a convincing
greenish pale tawny
colour and is far from
the sweetest port; the
overall impression is that of
vibrant freshness. I could imagine
really enjoying this with cheese.
32.99 Wine Rack,
33.95 The Whisky Exchange,
34.24 Thedrinkshop.com,
44.99 Selfridges
37
 Quinta do
Noval, Colheita
2003 Port
This transparent
fox-red beauty is a
vintage-dated port
aged unusually in cask,
and bottled earlier this
year. Just on the cusp
of rancio but chock-full
of aged dried fruit with lots
of life. Scent of camomile and
freshness with neat, cleansing
fruit in the middle and then a
brisk, fresh nish. Pure pleasure.
Around 50 Ocado, Lea &
Sandman, Cambridge Wines,
Ruby Red in Bradford on Avon
Graham 1983 port
This shows just what vintage port
is all about: stately ageing in bottle
resulting in a beautiful satin
texture with a hugely complex
and winning combination of
liquorice and haunting sweet
red fruit. Very gorgeous.
55 Cadman Fine Wines,
59 Fingal-Rock and other
independents
Illustration Graham Roumieu
Food&Drink Wine
38
STRONG AND DRY
Off-dry and dark
with hints of Gonzlez Byass, Via AB
Amontillado NV Sherry
treacle toffee A silly price for a 12-year-
and bergamot old pale gold, dry wine. It
smells of particularly ne
apple juice. Racy with lift
and character. Smooth,
cool and refreshing. Some
real evolution like a
very, very mature Fino.
Lots to chew on. 16.5%
12.50 reduced from 13.75 Oddbins
Harveys Palo
Cortado VORS
NV Sherry
A blend of 80%
Palomino and 20%
Pedro Ximnez
separately aged
for an average of
more than 30 years.
Off-dry (residual sugar
is just 10g/l) and dark with hints
of treacle toffee and bergamot.
Ridiculously cheap. 19.5%
22.59 larger Waitroses and online
Blandys, Colheita
Verdelho 1998 Madeira
Bottled in 2013 after 15 years
in Atlantic-impregnated wood,
this wonderfully complex pale,
nervy, green-fruited island wine
is exceptional in many ways. It
belongs to the new vintage-dated
madeira category, is pure and
revitalising and only just off-dry.
It could be drunk before, during or
even after a meal. 20%
45.99 for 50cl Fareham Wine Cellar,
50.99 The Wine Library. 6
International stockists on
winesearcher.com
ft.com/magazine december 17/18 2016
 Tim
Hayward
A man among ramen
Yamagoya at Shuang
Shuang, London
As a proclaimed lover of noodles,
I was excited to receive a missive
from Shuang Shuang, a well-
regarded Chinese hotpot restaurant
in Chinatown, announcing a
residency of masters of ramen
Yamagoya. Created by founder
Masatoshi Ogata, whose recipes
have been a long-kept family secret
for more than three generations,
it read, Yamagoya will bring the
avour of Ogatas signature ramen
to the capital for the rst time.
Ogata, according to the origin story,
was a truck driver who collected
ramen recipes from all over Japan
before perfecting his own. In 1969,
he set up near Fukuoka, on the
island of Kyushu, in a roadside shack
he built by hand from scrap wood.
There is a little more to the
Yamagoya story than this. Ogatas
quest and his hand-built shack
are no myth, but his business
has now grown, with outposts
across Japan. Ogata is not quite
Colonel Sanders but Yamagoya
London is certainly not the sole
authentic offspring of his original.
Shuang Shuang is a concept
restaurant thats surprisingly
jolly. You are seated at a kaiten-
style serving conveyor and a
waiter pours broth into a bowl on
a hotplate set into the counter.
From the belt, you choose meats,
vegetables and noodles, which you
poach in the broth and eat with a
variety of sauces. Its fun. In fact,
its fascinating. The broth builds
avour as the meal progresses.
I chose a black chicken stock in
which I poached sliced kidneys, pork
balls, chrysanthemum leaves, strips
of marinated beef, noodles and a
selection of choys. It was a great
way to eat lunch. In spite of the
STUART MATTHEWS
carefully designed modern interior,
Shuang Shuang has the feeling of
a much-loved working diner and,
in that respect, its hard not to love.
ft.com/magazine december 24/25 2016
And nally the main bowl:
Above: yuzu kara and ramen. Below: interior of Yamagoya
yamagoya As preparation for Yamagoya, too,
yamagoya.co.uk it is perfect. Building your own
shuang shuang
version so serendipitously sets you
up for a world where the rigour of
64 Shaftesbury Avenue
London W1D 6LU
the broth its honesty, uniqueness
and repeatability is the measure
+44 (0)207 734 5416;
shuangshuang.co.uk of the individual chefs worth.
Returning in the evening for
the Yamagoya experience, I am led
upstairs to a room, according to
the press release, replicating the
interior of Ogatas original ramen
shop. There are a few Japanese
lanterns and ags, scorched by
merciless modern lighting that
also illuminates the dormant kaiten
belt snaking through the room.
Each table features a wooden cover,
under which, one assumes, lurks
a temporarily redundant hotplate.
On one wall are some black-and-
white pictures of his rst shop,
from which Ogata stares, looking
to my eyes vaguely disgruntled.
I start with kara-age marinated,
oured and fried chunks of
10. Merry Christmas Picture quiz Tiny Rowland + Tim Farron = Tiny Tim
3. Melanie C 4. Mother Courage 5. Mary Celeste 6. Martin Chuzzlewit 7. Maria Callas 8. Monte Cassino 9. Michael Crawford
Quiz answers The link was the initials MC 1. Magna Carta (John, by the grace of God, king of England) 2. Maine, Connecticut
The pick
kled mustard
greenss provide foil
to th
he unctuous
broth. Th
his is perhaps
the besst ramen Ive
eate
en in the UK
chicken thigh. Its near greaseless,
powerfully garlicky, supercharged
by Ogatas proprietary marinade,
crisp, juicy and served with a poky
yuzu mayo. A very palpable hit.
The gyoza dumplings have
delicate, fresh-made skins and
a light, well-balanced lling
a second cracking course.
Yamagoyas signature ramen.
The broth is of the tonkotsu
style chicken carcases and fat
belly pork, boiled long and hard for
many hours to produce a rich, milky
suspension positively oinking with
piggery. The restaurant buys its
stock ingredients from impeccably
sustainable and fashionable farms.
Each serving is avoured with a
tiny shot of tare, a avouring liquid
still made by Ogata-san to the
secret family recipe. The noodles
are made in an offsite kitchen
on a specially imported machine
and are served at precisely the
level of softness you specify.
The egg oating on the surface
is a Burford Brown; the earthy
mushrooms are proper wood ears.
The pork chashu belly is marinated
and cooked in Yamagoyas own
kitchens, and a side of pickled
mustard greens provides foil to the
unctuous broth. This is perhaps the
Food&Drink Restaurants
best ramen Ive eaten in the UK.
I dont need my food indie-
washed or bolstered with
authenticity cues. Its probably
because Im more greedy than
ethical, but I honestly couldnt
give a toss whether the foods
being made by a little old Japanese
geezer in a headband or a global
conglomerate. When its this good,
it stands by itself. These are some
damn good noodles. I urge you to
try them while this residency
lasts because its perfectly
possible to consume the food
without believing the hype. 6
Tim Hayward is an FT Weekend
contributing writer; tim.hayward@
ft.com; Twitter @TimHayward
39
 Meera
Sodha
Vegetarian
Indian cooking

Grand trays in the oven with

the paneer on the top
vegetable shelf and bake for 40
biryani minutes, checking and
stirring after 20 minutes.
Meanwhile put 3 tbs
Youll need a blender and of oil into your casserole
a casserole or biryani dish or biryani dish over a
about 24cm in diameter. medium heat. When hot,
add the onions and fry for
Serves six as 15-20 minutes, until soft
a main course and caramelised. Remove
400g sweet potatoes to a bowl and keep to one
400g raw beetroot side. While the onions
500g ripe tomatoes are cooking, place all
1 x 400g tin of the sauce ingredients
chickpeas, drained in a blender and whizz
225g hard paneer, to a ne consistency.
cut into 2cm cubes Pour it into a frying pan
rapeseed oil over a medium heat and
salt cook for 10 minutes,
1 tsp chilli powder stirring occasionally.
1 tsp ground cumin Take off the heat.
2 tsp garam masala Drain the rice and
2 tbs lemon juice place in a deep saucepan.
2 large onions, sliced Cover with cold water
400g basmati rice and bring to the boil.
1 egg Lower the heat to a fast
300g ready-rolled simmer and cook for
puff pastry 10 minutes or until just
1 tbs sesame seeds tender. Drain, cover with
1 tbs nigella seeds a clean tea towel and
leave to one side. Break
For the coconut and the egg into a cup, add
coriander sauce a generous pinch of salt
1 x 400ml tin of and whisk with a fork.
coconut milk Now you are ready to
100g fresh coriander, layer your biryani.
roughly chopped The aim is to end with
6 cloves of garlic a rice layer topped with
1 green nger chilli caramelised onions. First,
3cm ginger, peeled put half of the paneer,
1 tsp salt tomato and chickpea
2 tbs lemon juice mixture into the bottom
of the pot. Follow with
Preheat the oven to 200C a quarter of the rice and
and line three baking a quarter of the onion
trays with foil. Wash the mix. Then add half of the
rice in a few changes of coconut and coriander
cold water, then leave sauce and half of the
Food&Drink Cooking

to soak. Wash the sweet beetroot and sweet

potatoes and beetroot potatoes, then a further
well and cut into wedges quarter of the rice and
about 6cm x 2cm. Put onions. Repeat, nishing

Spice odyssey
them on separate trays. with a nal layer of rice
Cut the tomatoes into and onions. Cut a slice
eighths. Place on the nal of puff pastry to t over
baking tray and add the the top of your pot.

T
chickpeas and paneer. Press it down tightly
Put 6 tbs of oil in a around the edges of the
his is a love letter to chickpeas and tomatoes to roasted small bowl with 1 tsp pot. Brush the top with
humble vegetables. beetroots, sweet potatoes and of salt, the chilli powder, the egg; sprinkle with
Its a meal for special a citrusy coconut and coriander cumin, garam masala the seeds. Place in the
occasions, whether sauce. Its not a difficult recipe, and lemon juice. Mix oven for 25 minutes.
well, then spoon over the Gingerly take out
that be Diwali, far from it, but its denitely
vegetables, adding more of the oven and place
Christmas or a bar one to take your time over. 6 to the tomato and paneer on the table to serve.
DAVID LOFTUS

mitzvah. Its packed full of a tray than the other two. Cut the pastry away
rainbow of colours, avours and Fresh India by Meera Sodha is Make sure everything is and discard to reveal
textures, from spiced paneer, published by Fig Tree (20) evenly coated, put the the steamy biryani.

40 ft.com/magazine december 24/25 2016

 Aleandparty
How to bring Christmas cheer to the
beer lover in your house. By Will Hawkes
Otters Tears, Stoke-on-Trent
B
uying special beer no longer takes
special effort. There is a riot of avours
available to the adventurous drinker
these days and specialist shops, such
as Otters Tears in Stoke-on-Trent,
are opening all over the UK. Many
of them sell online as well as in person.
There is a growing number of beer
subscription clubs too. Among the best are
BeerBods, which delivers 12 beers on a quarterly
basis and organises Twitter tastings every
week (gift subscriptions start at 36), and an
intriguing new company called Imperial Beer
Club, which offers only beers of 6% ABV and
above; a one-off case of 10 costs 49.99.
If that doesnt appeal, though, try one of these:
The Kernel Damson Sour
(4.1% ABV, 750ml, 10, Ales by Mail)
Visitors to the Kernels home in Bermondsey,
south London, this year can hardly have missed
the bank of lled Champagne-style bottles
along one wall, waiting for head brewer Evin
ORiordain and his team to decide theyre ready.
One of the rst to be released is this Damson
beer, which has the sort of fruit clarity you
associate with a high-class Schnapps, and plenty
of tart character too. It would work well with
rich food: roast duck, perhaps, or a good pork pie.
Goose Island Brewery Yard
(8.4%, 750ml, 12, Clapton Craft)
A beer with a fascinating story. In the 19th
century, pale ales were aged for long periods
in wood before sale: they were known as stock
ales. Bass was famous for its stock ale, which
was aged in the brewery yard, protected only by
straw, whatever the weather. This re-creation,
PHIL HARDY
made by Goose Island brewer Mike Siegel in
collaboration with beer historian Ron Pattinson,
ft.com/magazine december 24/25 2016
is probably the closest any of us will ever get
to tasting those beers. Its very dry and quite
bitter but the main avour is a rhubarb-inclined
funkiness that comes from the wild yeast used to
ferment the beer. Try with washed-rind cheese.
Fullers Vintage Ale
(8.5%, 500ml, 6, Fullers)
This is the 20th iteration of Fullers vintage
series: the rest can still be bought on the
London brewerys website, although the old
ones are a bit pricey (515 a bottle for the 1997).
Each year, head brewer John Keeling picks the
best ingredients to produce a strong beer that
can change and improve with age. This year,
one of the ingredients is the vinous, gooseberry-
like New Zealand hop Nelson Sauvin, which
adds a piquancy to the rich, boozy, dried-fruit
character of the beer. Would work well with
Stilton or Christmas pudding.
Thornbridge/Brooklyn Serpent
(9.5% ABV, 750ml, 15, Thornbridge)
Collaboration, whereby different breweries
work together on a one-off beer, is a big thing
in the craft-beer world. Made by Brooklyn
Brewerys larger-than-life head man Garrett
Oliver and Thornbridges Rob Lovatt, this
collaboration is a Belgian golden ale fermented
in Bourbon barrels with the lees from Olivers
Cider in Herefordshire. It tastes of gentle
spice and lots of green apple, with some
rounded boozy notes too. Time may bring
these avours together but for now it would
do a ne job with cured or smoked sh.
Burning Sky Saison Anniversaire
(6.2%, 750ml, 13.50, Hop Burns & Black)
Brewer Mark Tranter has a passion for saison,
a Belgian style notable for its dry, spicy
moreishness. Hes made a number of them
at his Sussex brewery; this one has been
fermented and aged entirely in French
chardonnay barriques. The result is a
beer whose lemony, vinous clarity would
work beautifully with goats cheese.
Sint Bernardus Christmas Ale
(10% ABV, 750ml, 8.19, Beers of Europe)
This rich, dark ale comes from one of
Belgiums most respected breweries. The
cinnamon-and-anise-spiced behemoth is
a favourite of Phil Hardy, owner of Otters
Tears. Some Christmas beers are ruined
by being overloaded with spice, but this is
more subtle, he says. Its a wonderful
post-Christmas sipper. 6
Will Hawkes is the author of Craft
Beer London (Vespertine Press)
5 OF THE BEST
NEWCOCKTAIL
BOOKS
By Alice Lascelles
Mixing in the Right Circles at
Balthazar, London by Brian Silva
Silva, bar manager at Balthazar, is an old-
school bartender a Bostonian who speaks
like hes straight out of a Chandler movie
(a guide to shaking begins: I start slow,
like a train). His recipes are just as classic,
with an emphasis on gin, whisky and his
speciality, the negroni. Plain-speaking,
practical and peppered with anecdotes,
this is a masterclass in cocktail making.
Caprice Group, 20 from Selfridges
and from balthazarlondon.com
Regarding Cocktails by Sasha Petraske,
with Georgette Moger-Petraske
Few bars did more to shape modern
mixology than New York speakeasy Milk
& Honey, and this collection of recipes,
essays and reminiscences pays tribute to
visionary founder Sasha Petraske, who
died last year aged 42. The anecdotes from
his fellow bartenders offer a snapshot of
New Yorks bar scene in its finest hour.
Phaidon, 19.95
Spritz: Italys Most Iconic
Aperitivo Cocktail, with Recipes
by Talia Baiocchi and Leslie Pariseau
A celebration of the sparkling cocktail
thats taken the world by storm from the
editors of punchdrink.com, Americas
hippest drinks website. Snappy, funny
and backed up by a wealth of liquid
expertise, Spritz offers dozens of riffs
on the bitter/wine/soda/citrus formula.
An ode to Italys aperitivo hour, this
is cocktail drinking at its most fun.
Ten Speed Press, 14.99
Shake. Stir. Sip: 50 Effortless Cocktails
in Equal Parts by Kara Newman
A clever little stocking filler that takes the
maths out of mixing cocktails by rounding
up 50 recipes that can all be made using
ingredients in equal measures which
means theyre easy to scale up for a party
too. Recipes range from short sharpeners,
including a wet martini, to refreshers,
such as a cucumber gimlet made with
vodka, fresh lime and lemonade.
Chronicle Books, 13.80
Christmas drinks
A Visual Guide to Drink by Ben
Gibson and Patrick Mulligan
New York duo Pop Chart Lab have created
infographics on everything from hip-hop
to architecture and are now taking on
alcoholic drinks with this beautiful book.
The cocktail sections at the end of each
chapter may make you go cross-eyed
but that doesnt stop this book from
being enormously entertaining.
Michael Joseph, 18.99
Alice Lascelles is author of Ten Cocktails:
The Art of Convivial Drinking (Saltyard)
41
 Cooking
Rowley
Leigh

Grilled While the octopus

octopus
potato salad
The poaching liquid
from the octopus
makes a great risotto
or pilaf, a standard
cooks, prepare the
dressing by mixing the
marjoram, lemon zest
and juice and pimenton.
When the octopus is
cooked, scrape the esh
out of the chilli and
squeeze the pulp of

A
staple to accompany the garlic and add to
sh in Portugal. the mixture.
nd now for something completely
Serves four to six.
different. The turkey lurks in wait, While the octopus cools,
with its aftermath of curries, risotto 1 frozen octopus, prepare the potato salad.
and hash; the ham lies groaning on about 1.5 kg Peel the potatoes, cover
its board; and the magnicent side 1 chilli in cold water and bring
1 head garlic to the boil. Salt well
of smoked salmon is poised. Soon
2 bay leaves and cook until tender.
its curling remnants will haunt you from a fridge Drain them and cut into
Sprig of thyme
piled high with Tupperware housing various 1 tsp marjoram or small chunks. Make a
festive remains. Come next Thursday, unless you oregano leaves vinaigrette with the
have a riad or alpine chalet to go to, you will need Fine zest of a lemon, mustard, salt, pepper,
a change of diet. Octopus is just the thing. plus the juice vinegar and the oils and
1 tsp sea salt dress the potatoes while
One of the octopuss merits is that it benets
1 tsp hot pimenton still quite hot. Place in a
from being frozen: some say it is essential, serving dish; keep warm.
(substitute with a bit of
being a more effective method of tenderising cayenne and paprika)
than bashing it against the rocks. And whereas 4 tbs olive oil Separate the tentacles
the new Nordics are reaching down into their 750g potatoes from the body of the
pickling barrel, I am delving into my freezer. It is 2 tsp Dijon mustard octopus. Heat a hot
1 tsp salt griddle plate or grill and
to the freezer you must go if you want sh after
1 tsp milled black toss the octopus in a little
Christmas because shermen will be tucked up at olive oil before putting
pepper
home guzzling their turkey just like you and me. 2 tbs white wine it on. Let them brown
So, along with the frozen peas and prawns, the vinegar very well before turning
duck pancakes and marrowbones for the dog, you 50ml sunower oil them once and searing
will usually nd an octopus lurking in my freezer. 50ml olive oil the other side. Toss the
4 spring onions grilled octopus in the
It surprises me how much people like octopus.

After
dressing and then place
I love the stuff but a few years ago the word on top of the potato
Defrost the octopus
octopus on the menu would be greeted with in plenty of cold water. salad. Slice the spring
the same fear elicited by kidneys, eels and Rinse and place in a onions; sprinkle on top.

the feast
Put all the gorging behind you with
this light seafood salad
chicken feet. Now, octopus is a surere seller saucepan with salt and
on contemporary menus, rivalling sea bass cover with plenty of cold Wine
water. Bring to a simmer Not much frightens the
(almost always farmed and tasteless), burrata
before adding the garlic, octopus, red or white.
(havent you had enough of it by now?) or The lusty avours of the
chilli, bay and thyme.
barbecue anything. Octopus may be traduced Simmer on the stove marinade suggest a fairly
from time to time no more carpaccio, thank without boiling for at aggressive white with
you but as long as it is cooked enough, it is least an hour. Test plenty of body, perhaps
not difficult. My preferred method is to cover for tenderness by a lemony Semillon/
inserting a knife or Sauvignon Blanc or a
it whole in cold water and bring it to a gentle
skewer in the thickest lightly chilled but high-
simmer for an hour before separating the octane young red a new
part of the tentacle.
tentacles and head and searing it on a grill or Lift out and let cool. world Pinot perhaps.
griddle with some fairly aggressive seasoning.
It is very good on its own but also receptive to
pulses or the potato salad below. I use large,
oury maincrop potatoes that soak up the
dressing rather than so-called salad potatoes.
It was The Velvet Underground who alerted
me to the connotation of octopus among young
ladies. In The Gift, John Cale murmurs, My
God, he was like an octopus. Hands all over the
place. In England they used to whisper NSIT
not safe in taxis. Happy Christmas. 6

More columns at ft.com/leigh Photographs Andy Sewell

42 ft.com/magazine december 24/25 2016

ft.com/magazine april 16/17 2012 43
 Games
The Crossword A Round on the Links
No 315. Set by Aldhelm By James Walton
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 All the answers
here are linked in
00 00 00 00 00 00 00
some way. Once
9
youve spotted the
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link, any you didnt
00 00 00 know the rst time
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1. Johannes Dei
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which 13th-century
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17 18 19
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respectively, the mysteriously Napoleons troops in
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and southernmost Azores in 1872? aircraft in 1944?
22 23 24 states in New 6. The kindly 9. Whose acting
England (top)? Tom Pinch and roles have ranged
00 00 00 00 00 00 00
3. Which former the hypocritical from Frank Spencer
Spice Girl had a Mr Pecksniff are to the title role
25 26
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00 00 00 00 00 00 00 in 2000 with which Charles West End production
I Turn to You? Dickens novel? of The Phantom
27 28 4. As whom is Anna 7. Which of the Opera?
Fierling known 20th-century 10. Which two
in the title of a female opera words precede
The Across clues 27 Purple fruit (8) incorporating play by Bertolt singers original Everyone in
are straightforward, 28 Pay the bill (6) new loss (9) Brecht surname was the title of a
while the Down clues 16 Last month, girl got (right)? Kalogeropoulou? 1985 song and
are cryptic. The shaded DOWN ultimate in disgrace, 8. Which Italian Mr Lawrence in
squares will spell out a 1 Remove group having fallen socially (8) monastery was that of a 1983 lm?
message. a team (3, 5) 18 Wise Men in
2 Cauldron I refashioned encapsulated eastern
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4 Prestigious, glance up with little in them (6)
high-quality (8) hesitation (6) 21 Crude politicians Who or what do
9 Edible offal (5) 5 The supervisor concealed by these pictures
10 Babys conveyance (9) amended rugby crafty lies (6) add up to?

+
11 Pacic salmon scores (8, 5) 23 Indication of laughter
species (7) 6 Old liberation round about pub,
12 Be active (7)
13 Fate (4)

17 Country in
movement that is not
heartless (7)
14 Warmed up again (8) 7 Wild oak covers the
French creature (5)
perhaps (5)

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26 Entreaties (5) without leader Solution to Crossword No. 314

44
Answers page 39
TimHarford
The undercover economistt
Why family traditions make for happy holidays
T
he Japanese have a
particularly engaging
ritual at this time of
year: Kurisumasu ni
wa kentakkii, which
may sound like
great wisdom but in fact refers
to Kentucky for Christmas,
the national habit of eating
Kentucky Fried Chicken as
their Christmas feast.
It began as an inspired bit of
marketing. In the 1970s, KFC
noticed that western expatriates
in Japan were turning
to fried chicken because
they couldnt get hold
of turkey. Now it has
become a ritual with
enough selling power
that there are queues
around the block, and
customers will order their
chicken in November
or even October. Whats
particularly impressive
is that Christmas isnt
even a holiday in Japan.
Kurisumasu ni
wa kentakkii is an
audacious piece of
commercialisation,
but its not the rst time
Christmas has been boldly
hijacked to sell something;
indeed, Christmas itself
piggybacked on earlier
midwinter festivals. Many
Christmas traditions are
fairly recent in the UK,
Christmas cards, turkey,
crackers and trees are all
19th-century innovations.
On the other hand, Christmas
consumerism, which we tend to
think of as a modern vice, is also a
19th-century habit. Joel Waldfogels
book Scroogenomics shows that the
boom in December spending can be
traced back many decades. (In 1867
in New York, Macys decided it
was worth keeping its doors open
until midnight on Christmas Eve.)
Illustration Harry Haysom
ft.com/magazine december 24/25 2016
So I dont begrudge the
Japanese their southern-fried
Christmas ritual. In fact, I have
been intrigued by Christmas
rituals in general; some are
good and some less so. As I pointed
out last week (and last year),
the ritual of giving gifts at
Christmas is extremely wasteful,
channelling valuable resources
into ill-tting clothes and
tacky golf memorabilia that
nobody would choose if they
were buying for themselves.
Over the past decade or so,
weve seen a new combination of
two older traditions: giving gifts,
and donating to charity. With
much the same cheek as Kentucky
Fried Chicken in Japan, Oxfam
has been pushing the idea that you
can give twice by donating to
Oxfam on someone elses behalf.
In effect, youre giving a dozen families will have their own rituals
chicks, or a vegetable garden,
or, notoriously, a goat. A unique,
symbolic gift, says Oxfam,
although a moments reection
will reveal it not to be unique at all.
And what does it symbolise?
For some, it represents wit, anti-
consumerism and the true spirit of
Christmas. For others, it represents
smug self-obsession. After all, if
I give you an Oxfam goat, what
have I really done? Ive made a
donation to charity, marinated in
my own sense of superiority, and
then mailed you the receipt. To add
injury to this insult, Ive also not
bothered to buy you a gift. We can
only hope that Oxfam, at
least, is able to nd someone
who actually needs the goat.
Three researchers, Lisa
Cavanaugh, Francesca Gino
and Gavan Fitzsimons,
recently published research
into this sort of socially
responsible gift. They
found evidence that people
systematically overestimate
how welcome such gifts will
be, particularly when they
are given to people they
dont know terribly well.
As I described last week,
Gino has contributed to
other research on gift-giving,
discovering that recipients
are often happier with gifts
chosen from a wishlist
or otherwise explicitly
requested, even though
that does seem to lose some
of the charm. Combining
the two insights suggests
that if you want to make
a donation to charity on
someones behalf, it might be wise
to ask for their blessing rst.
W
hat of the
Christmas
rituals we
share as a
group?
Different
perhaps the gifts are to be opened
at a particular time or in a particular
order. Perhaps the Queens Speech
Chrristmas, like
life, is fu
ull of rituals
that see em to make
our live es richer and
morre enjoyable
must be watched, respectfully. My
wifes family, religiously minded,
would delay opening gifts until after
a Christmas Day service. My own
family were more secular but fond
of delayed gratication many gifts
had to wait until after Christmas
lunch. For some families, theres a
particular lm to be watched; for
others, a board game to be played.
Ovul Sezer, Michael Norton,
Francesca Gino (again) and Kathleen
Vohs have been examining the
effect of rituals on the way we
experience Christmas and New
Years Eve. The researchers nd a
correlation between these rituals
sacred or secular and various
positive experiences of the holiday
season, including feeling more
curious, paying closer attention,
liking the family more, enjoying
the seasonal holiday, and life
satisfaction in general. Of course,
causation may run the other way
it may be that disliking your
family causes you to avoid sharing
Christmas rituals with them rather
than the other way round.
Still, Sezer and her colleagues
seem to be on to something.
Life is full of social rituals but
their details often do not seem
to matter much: the wake, the
prom night, the baby shower, even
Kurisumasu ni wa kentakkii we
form our social habits and we
stick to them. And the research
suggests were absolutely right to
do so. The rituals seem to make our
lives richer and more enjoyable.
And without going into too
much detail, there is one Christmas
tradition thats unlikely to disappear
any time soon: the number of
children conceived peaks over the
Christmas holidays, leading to a
bump in birth rates in September.
Thats certainly one way to bring
a family closer together. 6
Tim Harfords new book is Messy:
How to Be Creative and Resilient in
a Tidy-Minded World (Riverhead/
Little, Brown). Twitter @TimHarford
45
 Gillian
Tett
The vinyl revival
A
couple of weeks ago, my two
daughters (11 and 13) solemnly
wrote a Christmas-present wish
list. This included gadgets such as
Beats headphones, GoPro video
camera and so on. But it also
featured something else: old-fashioned vinyl
albums, plus an equally old-fashioned stand in
which to store them. Yes, you read that right.
My daughters are archetypal digital
natives kids who grew up knowin ng onlly a
digital world. But while they rely on n cyberspace
for a large part of their social interacctions,
intellectual development and daily logistics,
when it comes to music they have su uddenly
acquired a passion for the tangible world.
Most notably, some of their teen and d books are stagin ng a big comeback, even
tween friends have recently started
listening to old-fashioned records
on a turntable, and the trend
has spread (probably via social
media, ironically). So my kids
now consider vinyl albums to be
wildly cool. And retailers have
cannily spotted or created
a new business niche.
If you walk into an Urban
Outtters store (a favourite
for teens in New York and
elsewhere), you will see an entire
section devoted to vinyl records
and record players. If you jump
into cyberspace for your Christmas
shopping, you will see websites such h keen on old d-fashioned models.
as Amazon selling these records too.
In 2015, across the industry as a who ole,
vinyl record sales were at their highe est
since 1988. While sales seem to have e slowed
in 2016, what is striking is that it is now kids
driving the trend, rather than older hipsters.
What is going on here? Part of the e explanation
lies with the marketing genius of a voracious
retail industry, which has tapped intto the
fundamental truth that teenagers waant to rebel
against their parents tastes. It is also
o a mark
of the consumer psyche that scarcity y makes
things seem valuable. So the fact thaat many
middle-aged people (like me) conside er vinyl
records to be irritatingly inconvenien nt (never
mind the issue of sound quality) is ap pt to make
them seem cool to some kids. For dig gital natives,
going backwards leads to a new fronttier.
Illustration Shonagh Rae
46
But there is a second issue too: namely the
complex interplay developing between cyber
and real space, which is tearing us all in two.
In some senses, 21st-century humans are
besotted with the internet. No wonder: the
digital revolution has delivered untold benets,
making our lives dramatically more efficient
and convenient while also cutting costs. In
other senses, however, we all have reason to
be scared: not only is digitisation eroding jobs,
My kids consider
vinyl albums to be
wildly cool for
digital natives, going
backwards leads
to a new frontier
it is also tossing us into a universe without
constraints, where the rules for social interaction
and human knowledge are being turned upside
down. As the digital revolution spreads, it is
hardly surprising that we are seeing both a shift
towards the cyber world and also a backlash.
T
ake the books market. A couple of
years ago, there were widespread
predictions that old-fashioned paper
bookks weere doomed to inexorable
decline in
n favour of ebooks. But as
publisherr Adrian Zackheim points
out, the story of 2016 is that ebook sales have
stalled, because many y readers still like the
permanency of tangible editions. Paper
hard covers, he observes. Similarly, a
few years ag go there were widespread
predictionns that video-conferencing
would re emove the need for people
to wastee time ying around the
world too meet each other. But the
confereence business is booming
today, since many people still
want to o meet, face to face, in the
old-fashhioned way. In architecture,
Norman Foster has noticed that
his clien
nts still want to see physical
models of buildings, even if a cyber
design is more accurate. Ironically,
Fosters clients in Silicon Valley
are said
d to be particularly
I recently met with a group of cyber-
security experts working at the cutting
edge of digital techn nology, who told me they
always take vast, rolled d-up paper charts to client
meetings, since the cliients like to see a map
of an IT system, laid ou ut in ink and paper on a
table, rather than just presented on a screen.
Of course, there are e numerous counter-
examples where cyberr is displacing the analogue
world. And I fully expe ect that, by the time
Christmas 2017 comess around, my kids will have
decided that vinyl is no longer cool and will have
moved on to the next fad. But this weekend at
least there will be an old-fashioned record
stand sitting under the e Christmas tree for them
with all its inconven nient retro bulk. It is a
good reminder that p progress does not always
go in a straight line for kids or for adults. 6
gillian.tett@ft.com
ft.com//magazine december 24/25 2016