University of Sarajevo

Faculty of Philosophy
English Department
Contemporary English Language 3

PORTFOLIO:
Etiquette in Victorian England

Student: Supervisor:
Mustafa elilbai Nejla Kalajdisalihovi
Contents

1. Introduction.............................................................................................................. 2
2. Etiquette for women.................................................................................................... 2
3. Etiquette for children................................................................................................... 3
4. Etiquette for men....................................................................................................... 3
5. Sources................................................................................................................... 4
6. Glossary.................................................................................................................. 4
 1. Introduction

The very term etiquette entered the English language through the French language and the term
literally signifies a tag or label. However, the modern sense of the word is different and it denotes
the customary code of behaviour in society or among members of a particular profession or
group.1
The etiquette has been changing throughout centuries throughout the world. The rules of the
etiquette in Victorian England2, though, were peculiar. The strict rules of the Victorian etiquette
will be touched upon in this portfolio, with a special regard to the rules that were applied to
women, children, and men.
In Victorian times, having manners and etiquette were as important as being educated, and were
an indicator of a persons wealth and status. It was never before that chivalry and gentility was
more respected as it was during the Victorian era in England. It is important to note that
Victorians learned how to conduct themselves from a plethora of etiquette guides that were
mainly published during 1870s and 1880s.3

2. Etiquette for women

In this period of English history, it was womens duty to always be graceful, composed and
refined in order for men to be satisfied with them. Women had to make sure that their dresses and
hairstyles pleased men. However, a woman would have to look as if she made no effort to look
beautiful and pleasing. She had to behave in a way that would persuade others that her good
looks are natural and that no one should be surprised with it.
Apart from being required to have moral superiority, a Victorian womans main task was to serve
others. One of the occasions to show off her beauty and grace were the dinners parties at which
the society and, primarily, her husband would appreciate her seemingly effortless ability to look
clean and gorgeous.
It was considered vulgar for women to lift the dress with both hands while crossing the streets. It
was demanded that they use only the right arm and that the dress is not lifted above the ankle.
Only in the case of crossing a muddy road were they allowed to lift their dresses above the ankles
in order to keep their dresses clean.4

1 http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/etiquette

2 The term Victorian England refers to the Victorian era of British history
corresponding to the reign of Queen Victoria from 1837 to 1901.

3 http://home.kendra.com/victorianrituals/Victor/ritualsII.htm
How the Victorian era etiquette was somewhat harsh can be best seen while women visited the
beach. They were not allowed to wear bathing suits and thus show off their bodies. On the
contrary, women they had to wear long sleeves, a dress and a blouse.
How harsh the etiquette of this period was we can see from the fact that women could not divorce
from men even in the case of husbands adultery. On the other hand, the same rule did not apply
to men and they could seek divorce in the case of adultery.

3. Etiquette for children

Code of behaviour for children was strict for children as well, and its rules could be a useful
guide even for children living today. The most important rules of behaviour for Victorian children
can be listed as follows:
- Never talk back to older people, especially to your mother and father;
- Never argue with your elders as they know best;
- Never contradict anyone under any circumstances. It is very impolite. Talk in a low even
voice;
- Always rise to a standing position when visitors enter;
- Keep your hair combed, nails clean, and shoes looking nice;

- Never run up and down the stairs or across the room;

- Never start a conversation with a visitor until they have started to speak;
- Do as you are told in a pleasant and willing way.5
However, despite these strict rules, it is considered by many that the Victorian era children did
not abide by these rules and that they were almost as impertinent as todays children.

4. Etiquette for men

Adult males had their own rules of behaviour which they had to observe in order for them to be
respected in the society. A man was judged by his social graces which would indicate as to
whether he really is a gentleman.
Most peoples first association with mens etiquette generally is taking off the hat, and that was
one of the most recognisable rules for men in Victorian England. For example, when entering a
room, a gentleman had to take off his hat as a sign of respect for the host. Even when the room
was empty, the rule was to be followed.
4 http://hubpages.com/hub/The-Weird-World-of-Etiquette-Bad-Manners

5 http://www.victoriaspast.com/ChildEtiquette/ChildEtiquette.htm
A major breach of the code of behaviour for a man to sit while a lady is standing. The sign of
utmost respect for the lady would be allowing her to sit, and he would even have to make sure
that the chair is not too warm for her to sit on. In such a case, another chair had to be provided so
that the lady does not feel uncomfortable.
Showing off emotions for a man in public was another breach of etiquette that a gentleman
should not allow to happen. Regardless of the occasion, such a thing was by no means preferable.
A Victorian era gentleman had to be moderate on all occasions, and should not exaggerate in
anything. For instance, he must not have used too much perfume and it was widely regarded rude
to do so. Instead, only a small amount of perfumes could be used.
The moderate behaviour gentleman was best seen when they were in the presence of ignorant
people. A very rude thing was to behave in a way that would in any way indicate that they
consider themselves superior. As a matter of fact, a gentleman would have to pay attention not to
use phrases which are not understandable for an ordinary man.

5. Sources

1. http://hubpages.com/hub/The-Weird-World-of-Etiquette-Bad-Manners
2. http://meredithsweetpea.wordpress.com/2011/09/20/manners-etiquette-victorian-social-
rules-for-gentlemen/
3. http://www.logicmgmt.com/1876/etiquette/etiquette.htm
4. http://home.earthlink.net/~gchristen/Etiquette.html

6. Glossary

1. Etiquette - The customary code of polite behaviour in society or among members of a

particular profession or group.
2. Plethora - A large or excessive amount of something.
3. Graceful - Having or showing grace or elegance.
4. Adultery - Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person who is not
their spouse.
5. Gentleman - A chivalrous, courteous, or honourable man.
6. Lady - A courteous, decorous, or genteel woman.