Socialization

The schooling system serves a large part in the socialization and maturation of

every child. Though there are flaws, it instills essential life lessons and teaches children

about social norms. As a student of a small, private, Christian school, my education

experience was far from perfect and based on trends I observed, I developed my own

theories about socialization in such an atmosphere and how the parents come along side

the school to shape self-aware, knowledgeable humans. One main observation would be

the connection between unruly, trouble students and his or her relationship with their

parents; based on what I witnessed, the parents who are less involved in their students

lives tend to have more disruptive students and prove that family is the principal

socializing agent in the process of socialization.

At my small school, each student knew everyone in his or her class, including a

majority of the homelife of each student. This was probably my least favorite part of my

small school experience because there were few things that could be kept private. With

that in mind, it was not difficult to notice the students that acted out in class or tended to

have lower grades than the majority. An based on my observations, the trend seemed to

be that these students had a more difficult home situation or uninterested parents. Of

course, no extensive investigation was done to confirm this conclusion, but based on

general knowledge of my classmates, this conclusion was supported and a common trend.

As an example, one classmate, who I knew for about six years, lost his mother when he

was in grade school. His father remarried and was very hard on him; my classmate made

it clear he and his father rarely saw eye to eye and often spoke of him very

disrespectfully. This particular classmate had very low grades and was in detention on a
frequent basis- all things he was not ashamed of and jokes about often. The experience of

my classmate is not by any means a rule, and low grades to not automatically result from

a hard family life, but situations like this were not uncommon.

Socialization is quite an interesting process, but the key to the process is the

combination of multiple aspects. Family, school, peers, media, and work all come

together to form an individual and instill values, norms and social practices. From what I

took away from my time in high school, I can confirm it is essential that all of these

facets have an impact on an individual, and when one area lacks, the person may suffer in

some aspect of life. As displayed by some of my classmates, the repercussions of family

being distant or uninvolved could include acting out in school, below average grades, or a

disregard for authority. This would prove that socialization, which starts with the family,

relies heavily on the instilled standards set by parents at home. I could argue that it is not

uncommon for parents to rely too heavily on the school system to develope their children,

but at that point, it would be too late and socialization cannot be complete without the

support and influence of the family.

Throughout maturation, family, school, peers, media and work play crucial roles

in socialization of every human. Family, which is the first and primary agent of

socialization, creates a foundation for all of the other areas of life that mold everyone into

socially skilled citizens. Without an involved and interested family, the school, peers,

media, and work are not enough to fully socialize someone and that person often suffers.

Some of my classmates who I observed, suffered academically and disregarded authority

generally as a result of distant or difficult families. This observation directly proves that
not only is the family important in forming a persons social skills and values, but that it

is essential from the beginning of everyones lives and is irreplaceable.

Intentions

The discussion and lecture on the family that was present last

Thursday, got me thinking about feminisms relationship to the family.

This is a very broad topic, but based on what I have learned this

semester about family dynamic, gender roles and feminism, I have

begun to have certain concerns.

When discussing the articles about the conflicting sides of

marriage, the idea that the rise of feminism and the rise of divorce

may be related. I would never assume that it is the only correlation,

but the statistics have caused me to connect the dots. And, based on

the Biblical intentions of marriage, it is possible that it may make

sense. Ephesians 5 presents marriage in a way that has become a bit

of a taboo in todays culturethe word submit has been criticized, but

my interpretation of Gods intentions for marriage is not quite as

oppressive as some may believe this verse intends it to be. Ephesians

says that man should be the head of the house, as Christ is the head of

the church. This does not translate to women needing to be under the

rule of her husbands thumb, but woman was give to man to be his

helper. This does play out in marriage and in the roles of a family.

When women resist being dependent on their husbands, and thus

become independent themselves, parts of marriage begin changing.

Marriage was intended to be about sacrificial love and dependence.

When the wife no longer needs her husband for financial support, it is

no wonder that divorce has become easier.

Unfortunately, sacrificial love has, in my opinion, been swept

under the rug in our culture. It is a norm to want to get ahead in work,

and be the best individual that one can. So, when this pairs with

independence, I think it makes sense that divorce is increasingly

common.

I am not suggesting that God is anti-feminist or that He intended

for men to rule over women. In Genesis, it is clearly stated that God

created man and women in His own imagethere was no intention of

man being greater than women or entitled to more. But, I do believe

that dependence is necessary in a successful marriage, and this does

not have to come in the form of the man being the sole breadmaker,

while the wife stays at home. There can be reliance spiritually,

financially, socially, and in the family, and this can come in the form of

the man being dependent on the woman. There is nothing wrong with

the woman being the main source of income in the family, while the

husband does more work at home. This is a perfect example of

dependency that I believe is essential in marriage, but also relates to

the progression of women in the workplace.

 As women move up in the workplace, I think that the family and

marriages need to reevaluate their foundations. With total

independence from one another, recent statistics have shown that

divorce is more common, so families will need to accept some form of

reliance and sacrificial love to be successful as God intended.

Easter Sunday

One of the most prominent realizations that I have made since being at college

relates to the disappointment with my home church. I have already observed my

confusion about the racial uniformity, but something I have become more concerned

about since being home for Easter weekend relates to my churchs outreach methods and

goal. Easter service was flashy and non-confrontational, the sermon had more focus on

making the audience laugh than on the Bible or any message, all things that make me

disappointed and worried about where my church is headed in the future.

My church is fairly new, less than ten years old and my family has been attending

for about seven years. The church I attended last weekend has no resemblance to the

church we first attended in 2007. What most attracted my family to Grace Community

Church was the small, close community (a congregation of about 100), encouragement

for fellowship outside of the church, and the controversially honest pastor who was not

afraid to step on toes to preach the Bible. Sermons were based on the word, worship was
simple, and welcoming faces were recognizable every weekend. Now, as the

congregation has expanded to about 1,000 per weekend, there have been many changes.

Small groups are rarely mentioned (Im not even sure if the church provides them),

worship is over the top with flashy lights, fog machines in a dark auditorium, and the

sermons tend to be of the self-help nature with little mention of any scripture. This

Easter weekend was the epitome of this new churchI could not stop asking myself

questions about the reasons for the change.

I am sure that this shallow church is exactly what has increased the congregation,

the flashy, emotional worship attracts a younger generation and the sermons are unifying.

I began to think of my church in comparison to the mega churches, with similarly shallow

services. I cannot help but wonder if these types of churches have a role in Gods

Kingdomis this a type of outreach that is God-glorifying? Yes, it attracts many, but is it

a good method of retaining growing Christians?

Even through studying Souls in Transition, there is no clear ideal method to

attracting and retaining members to a church. All churches play to some type of appeal,

whether that be the conservative or the modern. My church has always been fairly

modern, with contemporary music but unfortunately, I think that the church is relying on

that aspect and that aspect alone to increase attendance. I have the vague prediction that

the demographic of the church will begin shifting. I cannot help but to assume that as the

church wanes from any traditional or conservative characteristics, the older generations

will transition out. Not to say that older generations never enjoy contemporary worship,

but when a church is geared so strongly to a younger generation, through worship,

aesthetics, and sermons, the older generations will not find an area to belong in the

congregation.

I am hoping that my church will find its way back to its roots and become more

like the church we first started to attend. I believe that this church, with its simplicity, was

more God-glorifying, not self-glorifying, and is more capable of reaching the hurting and

retainer strong followers of Christ.