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How I Met Your Mother Episode

Guide
Episodes 001208
Last episode aired Monday March 31, 2014

c www.cbs.com

c 2014

how-i-met-your-mother.
c 2014 www.tv.com
c 2014 www.cbs.com
wikia.com c 2014 www.imdb.com

The summaries and recaps of all the How I Met Your Mother episodes were downloaded from http://www.tv.com and
http://how-i-met-your-mother.wikia.com and http://www.imdb.com and processed through a perl program to
transform them in a LATEX file, for pretty printing. So, do not blame me for errors in the text ^

This booklet was LATEXed on April 1, 2014 by footstep11 with create_eps_guide v0.47
Contents

Season 1 1
1 Pilot . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
2 Purple Giraffe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
3 Sweet Taste of Liberty . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
4 Return of the Shirt . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11
5 Okay Awesome . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
6 Slutty Pumpkin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
7 Matchmaker . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
8 The Duel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21
9 Belly Full of Turkey . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
10 The Pineapple Incident . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25
11 The Limo . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29
12 The Wedding . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31
13 Drumroll, Please . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33
14 Zip, Zip, Zip . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35
15 Game Night . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37
16 Cupcake . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39
17 Life Among the Gorillas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41
18 Nothing Good Happens After 2 A.M. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43
19 Mary the Paralegal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45
20 Best Prom Ever . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49
21 Milk . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53
22 Come On . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55

Season 2 57
1 Where Were We? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59
2 The Scorpion and the Toad . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61
3 Brunch . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65
4 Ted Mosby: Architect . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 69
5 Worlds Greatest Couple . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73
6 Aldrin Justice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77
7 Swarley . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79
8 Atlantic City . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83
9 Slap Bet . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 85
10 Single Stamina . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87
11 How Lily Stole Christmas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91
12 First Time In New York . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93
13 Columns . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95
14 Monday Night Football . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97
15 Lucky Penny . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99
16 Stuff . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 101
17 Arrivederci, Fiero . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103
18 Moving Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105
19 Bachelor Party . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107
20 Showdown . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

21 Something Borrowed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 113


22 Something Blue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115

Season 3 117
1 Wait For It... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119
2 Were Not From Here . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121
3 Third Wheel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123
4 Little Boys . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 125
5 How I Met Everyone Else . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 127
6 Im Not That Guy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 129
7 Dowisetrepla . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131
8 Spoiler Alert . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 133
9 Slapsgiving . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 135
10 The Yips . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 137
11 The Platinum Rule . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 139
12 No Tomorrow . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 141
13 Ten Sessions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 143
14 The Bracket . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 145
15 The Chain Of Screaming . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 147
16 Sandcastles in the Sand . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 149
17 The Goat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 151
18 Rebound Bro . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 153
19 Everything Must Go . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 155
20 Miracles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 157

Season 4 159
1 Do I Know You? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 161
2 The Best Burger in New York . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 165
3 I Heart NJ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 169
4 Intervention . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 171
5 Shelter Island . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 173
6 Happily Ever After . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 177
7 Not a Fathers Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 179
8 Woooo! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 181
9 The Naked Man . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 185
10 The Fight . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 187
11 Little Minnesota . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 189
12 Benefits . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 191
13 Three Days Of Snow . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 193
14 The Possimpible . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 195
15 The Stinsons . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 197
16 Sorry, Bro . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 201
17 The Front Porch . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 203
18 Old King Clancy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 205
19 Murtaugh . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 207
20 Mosbius Designs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 209
21 The Three Days Rule . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 211
22 Right Place Right Time . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 215
23 As Fast As She Can . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 217
24 The Leap . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 219

II
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Season 5 221
1 Definitions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 223
2 Double Date . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 225
3 Robin 101 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 229
4 The Sexless Innkeeper . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 231
5 Duel Citizenship . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 233
6 Bagpipes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 235
7 The Rough Patch . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 237
8 The Playbook . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 239
9 Slapsgiving 2: Revenge of the Slap . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 243
10 The Window . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 247
11 Last Cigarette Ever . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 249
12 Girls versus Suits . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 251
13 Jenkins . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 255
14 The Perfect Week . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 259
15 Rabbit or Duck . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 263
16 Hooked . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 265
17 Of Course . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 269
18 Say Cheese . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 271
19 Zoo or False . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 273
20 Home Wreckers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 275
21 Twin Beds . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 279
22 Robots versus Wrestlers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 283
23 The Wedding Bride . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 285
24 Doppelgangers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 287

Season 6 291
1 Big Days . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 293
2 Cleaning House . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 295
3 Unfinished . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 297
4 Subway Wars . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 299
5 Architect of Destruction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303
6 Baby Talk . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 307
7 Canning Randy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 309
8 Natural History . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 313
9 Glitter . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 317
10 Blitzgiving . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 319
11 The Mermaid Theory . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 321
12 False Positive . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 323
13 Bad News . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 325
14 Last Words . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 327
15 Oh Honey . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 331
16 Desperation Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 333
17 Garbage Island . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 337
18 A Change Of Heart . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 341
19 Legendaddy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 343
20 The Exploding Meatball Sub . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 345
21 Hopeless . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 347
22 The Perfect Cocktail . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 349
23 Landmarks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 351
24 Challenge Accepted . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 353

III
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Season 7 355
1 The Best Man . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 357
2 The Naked Truth . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 359
3 Ducky Tie . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 363
4 The Stinson Missile Crisis . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 367
5 Field Trip . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 369
6 Mystery Vs. History . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 371
7 Noretta . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 373
8 The Slutty Pumpkin Returns . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 375
9 Disaster Averted . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 377
10 Tick Tick Tick . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 379
11 The Rebound Girl . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 383
12 Symphony of Illumination . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 387
13 Tailgate . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 391
14 46 Minutes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 393
15 The Burning Beekeeper . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 395
16 The Drunk Train . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 399
17 No Pressure . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 403
18 Karma . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 407
19 The Broath . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 409
20 Trilogy Time . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 413
21 Now Were Even . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 415
22 Good Crazy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 417
23 The Magicians Code, Part One . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 419
24 The Magicians Code, Part Two . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 421

Season 8 423
1 Farhampton . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 425
2 The Pre-Nup . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 427
3 Nannies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 429
4 Who Wants to Be a Godparent? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 433
5 The Autumn of Breakups . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 435
6 Splitsville . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 437
7 The Stamp Tramp . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 439
8 Twelve Horny Women . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 443
9 Lobster Crawl . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 445
10 The Over-Correction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 447
11 The Final Page, Part One . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 451
12 The Final Page, Part Two . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 455
13 Band or DJ? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 459
14 Ring Up . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 463
15 P.S. I Love You . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 467
16 Bad Crazy! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 471
17 The Ashtray . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 475
18 Weekend at Barneys . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 477
19 The Fortress . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 481
20 The Time Travelers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 483
21 Romeward Bound . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 487
22 The Bro Mitzvah . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 489
23 Something Old . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 493
24 Something New? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 497

IV
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Season 9 499
1 The Locket . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 501
2 Coming Back . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 503
3 Last Time in New York . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 505
4 The Broken Code . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 507
5 The Poker Game . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 509
6 Knight Vision . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 511
7 No Questions Asked . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 513
8 The Lighthouse . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 515
9 Platonish . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 517
10 Mom and Dad . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 521
11 Bedtime Stories . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 523
12 Rehearsal Dinner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 525
13 Bass Player Wanted . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 527
14 Slapsgiving 3: Slappointment in Slapmarra . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 529
15 Unpause . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 531
16 How Your Mother Met Me . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 533
17 Sunrise . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 535
18 Rally . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 537
19 Vesuvius . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 539
20 Daisy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 541
21 Gary Blauman . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 545
22 The End of The Aisle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 549
23 Last Forever Part I . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 553
24 Last Forever Part II . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 557

Actor Appearances 561

V
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

VI
Season One
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Pilot
Season 1
Episode Number: 1
Season Episode: 1

Originally aired: Monday September 19, 2005


Writer: Carter Bays, Craig Thomas
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Alyson Hannigan (Lily), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney), Josh Radnor
(Ted), Jason Segel (Marshall), Cobie Smulders (Robin)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Lyndsy Fonseca (Daughter), David Hen-
rie (Son), Marshall Manesh (Ranjit), Joe Nieves (Carl)
Guest Stars: Jack Shearer (Cab Driver), Gary Riotto (Waiter #1), Monique Edwards
(Producer), Saba Homayoon (Yasmin), Sarah Loew (Dumped Friend),
Tony Rossi (Waiter #2)
Production Code: 1ALH79
Summary: When Teds best friend Marshall proposes to his girlfriend, Lily, Ted
realizes hed better get a move on if he hopes to find true love. Ted soon
meets Robin in a neighborhood bar, immediately becomes smitten and
scores a first date. But when Ted can hardly wait to see her again, his
eagerness threatens to scare her away.

The year 2030 Two bored kids sit


on a couch
A voice that is speaking to the kids
says, Kids, I will tell you the story of How
I Met Your Mother. Then he flashes back
to 25 years ago.
Opening credits Picture of the
speaker and his friends from 2005
Uncle Marshall knees on the floor
and opens a jewelry box and asks: Will
you marry me? The camera moves and
shows the speaker (we find out that his
name is Ted) standing in front of him and
looking a bit confused, but then he tells
Marshall that this is perfect and so Mar-
shall will be engaged soon.
They talk about the fact that Ted was
present at all the important moments in Marshall and Lilys (Marshalls soon to be fiancee) life:
When they met, first date and other first things. So with this big plans Marshall has planned the
whole evening and Ted calls Uncle Barney to go out and have fun. Barney starts to talk about
girls immediately, but they meet later.
Later in the bar, Ted and Barney meet, and Barney complains to Ted that Ted hasnt suited
up, because Barney told Ted to do so. Ted is freaking out that he will be the third wheel in the
triangle Marshall, Lily and Ted. They will have a family and he will be all alone. Barney is angry
and hits him.
Flash back to the day Barney and Ted first met
They are in bar and Barney just joins Ted and two friends and tells him how to live. One piece
of advice he gives Ted is: Dont get married till you are 30.
Back to 2005
Ted agrees about that; dont get married before you are 30. Barney wants to prove to him,
that he is Teds best friend and not Marshall. So Barney starts his game called Have you met

3
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Ted? So he goes to the next girl and asks him, have you met Ted? And so he presents her Ted.
So Ted meets Yasmin.
Back at Marshall and Teds place: Lily comes home from her work as Kindergarten teacher.
She had a hard day because it was finger painting day and some boy got a bit too close to her. She
is surprised that he is cooking. She thinks its sweet, but she is afraid he will lose his eyebrows
again. He tells her that he is full of surprises tonight. So wants to know more, but he doesnt tell
her anything.
Back at the bar Ted is telling Yasmin about his situation and how bad he feels about it.
Back at the apartment Lily took over the cooking and Marshall surprises her with a bottle of
Champagne. She loves it, but Marshall is afraid to open it.
The frame divides: Above Lily and Marshall arguing and in the other half Ted and Yasmin in
the bar.
Marshall proposes to Lily and Ted asks Yasmin if she wants to go out some time. Lily is happy
and agrees immediately. Yasmin tells Ted, that Carl the barkeeper is her boyfriend.
Back at the apartment Marshall and Lily just had sex on the kitchen floor. So Marshall is
ready to open that bottle of Champagne. He doesnt know why he ever was afraid of open such a
bottle, but then the cork pops out and Lily screams. Marshall is horrified.
Back at the bar Ted is freaking out completely because he isnt the one who is getting married
and Barney doesnt understand how Carl can have such a beautiful girlfriend. Ted is thinking
that he hasnt found his big love, but then he sees her: A beautiful brown haired girl at the other
side of the bar. Ted is too afraid to speak to her so Barney just plays have you me Ted? again,
while she gets some drinks at the bar.
Meanwhile Marshall and Lily enter a cab, and Lily holds an ice bag to her eye. Marshall tells
her how much hes sorry about it.
Marshall tells the driver to go to the nearest hospital. The cab driver asks Marshall if he hit
her. Marshall and Lily look at each other and start laughing. Lily tells the driver, that Marshall
isnt even able to spank her in bed, even if she wants it. The driver understands and asks further
questions while driving.
Back at the bar Robin (the girl Ted just saw) tells Ted that she is a reporter for Metro News 1.
Robin has to go, because shes there with some friends and they are celebrating the break up of
one of them. So no boys allowed. Ted offers that she can throw a drink in his face. Ted invites
her to dinner, she agrees and gives him her number, then throws a drink at him. Barney thinks
its cool, till Ted presents the phone number.
The next night: Ted and Robin are in a small bistro and talk about a French horn at the wall.
Back at the apartment Marshall and Lily sit on the couch. Lily has an eye patch. Then Mar-
shall asks Lily a question and she freaks out, because she didnt see him. Ted enters comes back
and is so happy, because he thinks he has found the girl of his dreams.
Marshall and Ted go through all the facts Ted dreamed of all the time: She loves dogs, Scotch,
knows quotes from Ghostbusters and she hates olives. The olive theory is based on that one
partner has to hate olives and so the other one has to like them and to eat all the partners olives
too, perfect balance.
All are happy till Lily asks why he is back so early. Ted tells them that he walked her home,
but instead of kissing her on the stairs (considered as the moment), he just left. Ted defends
himself, but Lily attacks him about that. So Ted calls Barney who is playing laser tag to ask him
about the kiss.
So all four meet at the bar again and Ted has to tell the entire story again. Barney is angry
that Ted is again not wearing a suit.
Ted tells them that she didnt give him the signal. Barney doesnt understand Ted and to
show him that he was wrong Barney just kisses Marshall. So he asks: Did Marshall give me the
signal? No! So Barney now knows for sure, that he and Marshall will never be together. So Ted
finally sees that he made a mistake and should have kissed her. The problem now is that she is
gone for a week to Orlando.
Then Robin is on TV and she is reporting from a bridge where some guy wants to kill himself.
Lily tells Ted that he picked a beautiful girl this time.
So Ted planes to go over to Robins again to kiss her.
Barney convinces Ted to suit up and so all four drive over to Robins place. Before that Ted
enters the Bistro where he had dinner and steals the blue horn from the wall.

4
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

At Robins place Ted is freaking out. Marshall and Lily put even more pressure on him. Ted
already plans for his wedding at that moment. Ted is afraid of Robins dogs, but she at least
opens her window to speak to him. So she invites him up.
Barney starts to talk with the cab driver about hot girls while they are waiting.
Up in Robins apartment Robin asks Ted why he came back at 1 am in a suit. He starts to
talk about olives again, so she offers him a drink.
In the cab Barney starts to talk with Marshall about the olive theory. Marshall has to confess
that he likes olives too, but he told Lily he hates them, because she likes them so much.
Upstairs Ted and Robin are dancing and her dogs are staring at them, but they only have eyes
for each other. Ted tells her that he is in love with her! Flashes of people yelling what, including
Robin.
Back in the cab, Marshall tells Ted that he will marry Lily under any circumstance. He also
tells Lily that he likes olives too, but she just kisses him.
Upstairs Ted and Robin sit on the couch next to each other, both confused and thinking. She
is freaking out completely, because Ted told her that he loves her.
In the cab the three agree that Ted and Robin might be in bed already and so they can leave.
Now Ted leaves and begs Robin not to call him a psycho. Ted tries to fix everything, but again
he doesnt kiss her, he just shakes her hand, but its obvious that Robin wants that kiss now.
Back at the bar Ted is disappointed that he will never see Robin again. Marshall and Lily tell
Ted that the handshake was the signal. Barney agrees too, even though he doubts the signal
theory. Even the cab driver who joined them agrees that this was the signal. Even Carl tells
Ted that he should have kissed her. Marshall opens a bottle of Champagne, this time without
accident. Ted still thinks it wasnt the signal.
The voice of the future confesses that this was the signal.
Back to the kids: The father (Ted) tells them, that this was the story of how he met their Aunt
Robin. They complain that this wasnt the story of her mother, but he just tells them that this
will be a long story.

5
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

6
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Purple Giraffe
Season 1
Episode Number: 2
Season Episode: 2

Originally aired: Monday September 26, 2005


Writer: Craig Thomas, Carter Bays
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Lyndsy Fonseca (Daughter), David Hen-
rie (Son)
Guest Stars: Jae Head (Leroy), Jon Bernthal (Carlos), Beth Riesgraf (Works with
Carlos Girl), Lindsay Schoneweis (Fantasy Girl)
Production Code: 1ALH01
Summary: In a desperate attempt for a second date, Ted invites Robin to a party
he is throwing. However, she doesnt show up and he keeps throwing
parties in the hopes she will finally arrive.

Ted tells Marshall that he hasnt called


Robin at all ever since he blurted out that
he was in love with her, and that was
weeks ago. They run into Robin and Lily
at the Bar. After Robin leaves, Lily tells
Ted about what she and Robin were talk-
ing about. Robin said that Ted was nice,
but a little too pushy, and he wanted
more in a relationship than she was ready
for. Ted decides to try again with Robin,
but do it gradually so she wouldnt notice
that he was trying to hook up with her
again.
At the apartment, Ted explains that
ever since Marshall proposed to Lily,
Lilys been extra affectionate. She is
constantly dragged him to their room
while hes trying to write a 25 page paper for school. Later Ted is watching Robin on the news
and finds out where shes reporting from. He runs out of the apartment and gets to the grocery
store where Robin is reporting. The news story is that a child is stuck inside one of those huge
crane machine games because he wanted the purple giraffe. (Hence the title of the episode). After
the report, Robin notices Ted and they start talking. Ted invites her to a party hes having next
Friday. She tells him that she cant make it, as she is going home to visit family, and wishes it
was this Friday. Ted changes his mind, and tells her it IS this Friday, but he just keeps calling it
next Friday for some reason. She says shell come.
At the party Teds plan is to bring Robin to the roof, the most romantic place in the building,
and try his luck again. Barney wants Ted to give up his insane plan, and just hook up with
whoever. Ted doesnt want to. Barney explains that the best girl to hook up with at a party is
someone who doesnt directly know any of his friends, or knows a friend of their friends and
whom they will never see again. Barney points out a girl and asks who she came to the party
with, and she responds Carlos.. No one knows anyone by the name of Carlos, so Barney decides
to hook up with the girl. The party ends, and Robin doesnt show up.

7
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

The next day Robin calls Ted to apologize, he sees her name on the caller ID, but pretends to
think its a different girl. She explains that she was stuck at work, and was sorry, and wished
the party was that night instead. Ted tells her it is, its a two day party. Marshall does not look
pleased as he is still trying to write his paper.
The second party, Barney runs into the hot girl he hooked up with the night before. She
thinks theyre building a relationship of some sort, and Barney takes her away and pretty much
breaks it off with her. Ted is still waiting for Robin. Lily and Marshall decide to go up to the roof,
Ted tries to protest, as he is hoping to get Robin up there, but Lily and Marshall go anyway. The
part ends again, and Robin still didnt make it.
The next day Robin calls again, and Ted again pretends to think its another girl. She apolo-
gizes again, blaming her work for keeping her from going. She asks if there is any chance it is a
3 day party, and Ted says yes. Marshall is now even more upset, as he really needs to work on
his paper.
The third party, Barney once again runs into that girl. She makes it look awkward as if theyve
been dating for ages, and just ran into each other. She says how weird it was for the party givers
to invite the both of them. Barney starts going off about how nobody even knows who she is, and
why was she even at that party. She then looks hurt, and tell him he didnt have to say that,
and that apparently Carlos was right about him. Barney looks flabbergasted. Who in the world
is Carlos? he wonders. The party itself is pretty dull as it is a Sunday night. Marshall is walking
around the apartment looking for one of his textbooks, he later finds it on the table underneath
peoples drinks, and it has been spilled on. He gets very upset and starts yelling at Ted about
how Ted is being ridiculous for throwing 3 parties for Robin, and she didnt even show up to any
of them. He turns around and there is Robin and Lily standing there looking at him, they heard
everything he said. He drops his book, grabs Lily and goes into their room. Robin asks if its true,
if he did throw 3 parties just for her. Ted says yes, but its not for the reason she thinks. He lies,
and tells her that since it didnt work out with them two, he wanted to introduce her to someone
else. He randomly grabs some guy at the party and introduces him to Robin. When asked what
his name was, he replied Carlos. The two go up to the roof to talk.
Later Ted wanders up to the roof, to check on Robin and Carlos. But Robin is alone. Appar-
ently it didnt work out. Ted and Robin talk about them, and Ted tells her that he doesnt have
to get married, they could just date. He doesnt need a commitment. Robin tells him that she
can see it in his eyes, his yearning for a wife. Ted tries to play it off and say he can turn it off
anytime he wants. He kisses Robin, and realizes that no, he cant turn it off. They decide to just
be friends. At first Ted doesnt think they can be friends until maybe a few months have passed,
but after thinking about it, he decides to start right then and there.
At the end of the night, the entire gang are at the bar, talking and getting to know Robin. Also
at the bar is Carlos, and the girl Barney hooks up with making out. Ted gets up from the booth
to go the bar, while at the bar he turns and looks at Robin. She looks back at him, you can see
the chemistry, but you can also see the understanding that theyll stay friends.

8
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Sweet Taste of Liberty


Season 1
Episode Number: 3
Season Episode: 3

Originally aired: Monday October 3, 2005


Writer: Chris Miller, Phil Lord
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), David Henrie (Son), Lyndsy Fonseca
(Daughter), Joe Nieves (Carl)
Guest Stars: Anna Zielinski (Cute Girl), Tiffany Brouwer (Laura), Alyshia Ochse (Ta-
tiana), Chuck Carter (Guy #2), Dustin Lancaster (Guy #3), Sean Lu-
core (Guy #1), Gita Isak (Stewardess), Earl Billings (Officer McNeil),
Mark Edward Smith (Bomb Squad Guy), Robb Derringer (Derrick),
Carla Toutz (Sascha), Pedro Miguel Arce (Dana), Floyd Van Buskirk
(Cab Driver #2)
Production Code: 1ALH02
Summary: Ted agrees to let Barney spice up his love life and ends up on a crazy
adventure of flying to Philadelphia, encountering the law, and visiting
the Liberty Bell.

Ted decides to hit up the gangs usual


bar, McLarens, but Barney refuses to al-
low his friend to fall into a rut. He drags
Ted to the airport to pick up women.
Meanwhile, Robin and Lily are hanging
out at the bar, and Marshall is at home
studying.
At the airport, Barney instructs Ted to
take post at the baggage carousel, and
pick up women. After Teds one attempt
and failure, Barney and Ted spot two girls
standing near by. Barney pushes Ted into
their luggage and Ted flies and flips over
falling on his back. Barney then goes and
introduces himself to the girls who are
quite surprised that a guy just flew into
and over their luggage.
One of the girls makes a witty comment on Teds fall, telling him he was a bit shaky on his
landing. Ted introduces himself, and she says her name is Laura. The girls then inform the guys
that the have to go and catch their flight to Philadelphia. Barney tells them that its a coincidence,
because thats where theyre going, too. The girls walk away, and Barney tells Ted to follow them
while he goes and buys the tickets, which are on him. In the plane Ted calls Marshall to let him
know whats going on, and Barney tells Marshall to meet them up in Philly.
At the bar, Robin is continuously being hit on by very lame guys while Lily is being ignored by
the guys.
Back on the plane, the guys ask the girls what theyre doing in Philly. They inform them that
they are visiting their boyfriends, and that one of them might propose. The girls then show the
guys pictures of the boyfriends, who by the way, are both linebackers for the Philadelphia Eagles.

9
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Lily and Marshall are on the phone with each other and Marshall is driving to Philly. Lily tells
him that shes been spending the night looking at guys backs as they hit on Robin. Marshall
comments on how Robin must get that a lot, and Lily asks if he thinks Lily should get that a
lot. Marshall explains to her that since shes wearing an engagement ring, all guys know that
shes taken, and if she took off that ring, guys would be crowding her junk. She asks if hed
be jealous, and he says no. So after they hang up, Lily takes off her ring. Marshall then calls
Ted, telling them hes on his way to Philly, but Ted tells him not to come so Marshall turns back
around.
On the plane, the boys have landed and people are getting off the plane. 3 airport security
officers approach their seats, state their names, and ask them to come with them. They are
taken to an interrogation room, where Barney says they are International Businessmen, and
demand to be released immediately. The officer informs them, that they are being held because
the boys left 2 bags on a baggage carousel back at JFK airport, abandoned them, and bought a
last minute flight with cash. It then cuts to a bomb squad/ swat team examining the bags, then
back to the interrogation room. The officer than shows footage from the past few months, each
showing Barney placing a piece of luggage onto the carousel, looking around, and walking away.
In one such clip, Barney is actually in one of the suitcases, and finds his way out while on the
carousel, and then start talking to a woman. Ted then explains to the officer the real reason why
the did it, but the officer doesnt believe it because its too lame. They then demand to be able
to call their lawyer, which they do, they call Marshall. Marshall tells them not to say anything
until he gets there. Marshall then turns around again and drives toward Philly. The officer gets
a call from the squad at JFK, the squad informs them that the bags are clean, theyre just full of
condoms and a power bar. The officer tells the guys theyre free to go. Ted then calls Marshall,
again, and tells him not to come. Marshall is upset because hes already half of the way to Philly.
Barney then interrupts saying that one of the officers, who by the way is a young pretty woman
named Sasha, is having friends over for drinks at her house. Marshall wants to come to Philly,
but Ted says no. Marshall then has another call and clicks over, its Barney, telling him to come.
At Sashas Ted and Barney are sitting on the couch with two of Sashas friends, male friends
that is. Sasha comes downstairs asking them to keep it down as her grandpa is sleeping, and
passes out hard lemonade to the group.
At the bar, Lily is making eyes at some guy across the bar. Robin finds a booth open for them,
but Lily wants to stay at the bar for awhile so Robin grabs their stuff and takes it to the booth.
The guy approaches Lily, and before anything, Lily explains that shes engaged and just took
her ring off, and that she was sorry. He guy then tells her that hes gay, and just wanted to let
her know that she sat on a grape. At the booth, Lilys phone goes off, and Robin picks it up.
Its Marshall looking for Lily. Robin doesnt know what to say, but Marshall said its cool if shes
talking to a guy, as it as his idea. Robin now understands, and tells him that yes, she took of the
ring and is now talking to a guy. Marshall is a bit unnerved by the fact that she actually took off
the ring, but keeps telling Robin that its awesome and hangs up.
Back at Sashas Barney is talking to a guy named Dana who works security at the Liberty
Bell. He asks Dana if hes ever touched the Liberty Bell, Dana says yes, has he ever stuck his
head inside the bell? yes, has he ever licked the bell? no, hes never licked it.
Barney points out that probably no one in history has ever licked the Liberty Bell. Ted is fed
up, and leaves.
At the Bar, the gay guy goes and gets Lily club soda for her stain. Robin confronts Lily about
what shes doing with a possibly gay guy. Lily says yes, hes gay, but she just missed being hit on
since she hasnt been single in 9 years. Robin helps Lily realize that she truly is the lucky one.
The gay guy comes back with the club soda, and tells Lily to turn around so he can clean it.
Marshall walks in on this and yells at the guy, saying thats his fiancee, and if he wants to
fight, Marshall will fight him. Lily tells Marshall that the guy is gay, and Marshall couldnt be
happier as hes never been in a fight, and hugs the gay guy. The gay guys boyfriend sees this
and charges at Marshall.
Ted and Barney are in a cab on the way to the airport, Barney is trying to persuade Ted to
lick the Liberty Bell. Ted tells Barney to go lick it himself, but Barney says it has to be the two of
them because theyre a team, Ted is Barneys best friend. So Ted finally agrees. The guys get out
of the cab and lick the Liberty Bell. Now Ted has a great anecdote to start conversations with.

10
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Return of the Shirt


Season 1
Episode Number: 4
Season Episode: 4

Originally aired: Monday October 10, 2005


Writer: Kourtney Kang
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: Lyndsy Fonseca (Daughter), Charlene Amoia (Waitress), David Henrie
(Son), Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: John Henry Canavan (Trucker Hat Guy #2), Choice Skinner (Trucker
Hat Guy #1), Buck Kartalian (Henry), Katelin Chesna (One Guest),
Monique Edwards (Producer), Anne Dudek (Natalie), Michael Kagan
(Joel Adams), Jackie Geary (Jackie), Ange Billman (Steph)
Production Code: 1ALH03
Summary: Teds outlook on his continuing search for love is altered when he
rediscovers a shirt that has not seen daylight in years. Meanwhile,
Barney amuses himself by coaxing Robin into sacrificing her job by
saying completely outlandish things on air live for a cash reward.

In the Future: Teds future self is


telling his children about how not every
story ends happily. Sometimes people get
hurt. This story starts with a shirt.
Back in the present: Ted is in his room
and pulling a brown and green shirt out
of his closet, and is surprised to find his
old shirt.
Ted walks into the bar wearing the
shirt where the entire gang is sitting.
Both Robin and Lily compliment him on
the shirt. Robin tells the group how Bar-
ney offered to pay her $50 to say booger
on her news cast, yet she refuses to do
it. Barney upgrades to $100 for the word
nipple. Ted realizes hes changed, hes
starting to like things he used to not like
before. Like the shirt hes wearing, and bourbon. Ted decides to give things a second impres-
sion, starting with the girls from his past. Lily starts naming girls from Teds past- Flashback to
Steph: She reveals to Ted that when she was living in L.A. and broke, she spent a month doing
175 adult films.
Flashback to Jackie: She tells Ted a story about how she hit a hitchhiker. She didnt know
what happened to him, she just kept driving. As she is laughing, Ted looks worried.
In the bar the group decides on a great girl from Teds past. Natalie.
Flashback to Natalie: Ted reminisces about his relationship with Natalie: From the tea can-
dles on her dresser to the sock monkey collection.
In the Bar Ted states that he hasnt seen her in 3 years, and they broke up because he wasnt
ready for a commitment, but he is now.
Robin thinks shes getting a promotion at her news job when her boss tells her to do a story
at City Hall. It turns out shes telling the story of a Hot Dog vendor. Eventually, instead of saying

11
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

the word nickel she says nipple. Barney gives her money, and proposes a new dare for $200.
He whispers it, so the audience doesnt know.
Ted calls Natalie, upon hearing his name; she tells him to Go to Hell and hangs up on him.
Apparently, their break up wasnt great. He called her and broke up with her on her birthday.
What makes it worse is he left it as a message on her answering machine.
Robin is reporting from a nursing home, telling the story of twins who died on the eve of their
100th birthday. In the middle of the report, she says Im a dirty, dirty girl and slaps her behind.
A crew member later tells her that her boss would like to see him in her office. Robin thinks
shes in major trouble, but instead, hes asking a question in regards to his dog being sick. Robin
realizes that not even her boss watches her newscast.
Ted shows up at Natalies apartment, after charming her and apologizing Natalie talks to Ted.
It turns out that the break up message was worse. When he left the message on her answering
machine, there was a room full of Natalies friends hiding in her apartment for Natalies surprise
party, and they heard the entire thing. He asks her for another chance, and after some pushing,
she agrees. They start dating again for a few weeks.
A few weeks later at the bar, Natalie, Ted, Lily, Marshall and Barney are sitting in their booth.
Natalie announces she has to go to a class. Ted assumes its some sort of yoga class. Everyone
tells Ted how wonderful Natalie is, but he says that he needs to break up with her, he doesnt
know what, but he knows that she isnt the one. So he decides to break up with her and tell her
the truth.
Robin walks into the bar, and Barney pays her again. He now ups the ante, by offering $1000
to do a little dance move and say a little song that goes with it.
The next night Ted takes Natalie out to dinner so he can break up with her face to face. He
tells her he needs to talk to her, but before he can, she tells him that she got 3 birthday cakes at
work that day, and would really rather not to have cake that night.
Ted cant believe its her birthday, again.
Robin is reporting from a horse carriage/cab, talking to and elderly man who tell her that his
most exciting moment in all the years is that very news report. Robin realizes that she cant do
Barneys dance, as she is closing her report, she falls of the carriage into a pile of horse poop.
At dinner, Natalie is ranting on about her family, when Ted interrupts and tells her he wants
to break up because shes not the one.
She throws her food at him, and starts yelling at him in the restaurant. Such things as Its
my birthday, and youre telling me Im not the one for you!? We find out that the class Natalie
has been taking isnt yoga, its a Guerrilla Street Fighting class that was designed by the Israeli
Army. She ends up kicking Ted from across the table and pretty much beating him up. And
thats how it ended with Natalie.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Okay Awesome
Season 1
Episode Number: 5
Season Episode: 5

Originally aired: Monday October 17, 2005


Writer: Chris Harris (II)
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Lyndsy Fonseca (Daughter), Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), David Hen-
rie (Son)
Guest Stars: Joshua Zisholtz (Daniel), Samm Levine (Phil), Ryan Raddatz (Chris),
Rob Evors (Bradley), Michelle Noh (Claire), Kyle Bornheimer (Austin),
Sebastian Siegel (Bartender), Stephen Keys (New Bouncer), Jayma
Mays (Coat Check Girl), Vanessa Lee Evigan (Kelly)
Production Code: 1ALH04
Summary: Ted and Barney start checking out the club scene with their friend
Robin, whereas Lily and Marshall try to participate in some more
grown-up activities, as they draw slowly nearer to their wedding.

In the year 2030 Ted is talking to his


kids again
Back in 2005
Robin enters the bar, where Barney
and Ted have a drink. She has good news
and tells them that she can get them all
into a very exclusive club called Okay.
Ted has never heard of it, but Barney is
excited. Barney tries to tell them that he
couldnt get in once, without embarrass-
ing himself Ted sees through that story
and embarrasses Barney. Robin met the
owner in her gym and he is a fan of her
TV station, so he invited her.
Robin tells them that she will be in the
VIP section. Barney misunderstands that
a bit, because he has a different definition
of VIP. Robin asks them if she should invite Marshall and Lily, but Ted and Barney just laugh.
Ted explains this laughing with a flashback: Flashback Lily is in her kindergarten class, where
her colleague tells her that she spent the weekend with her husband in a charming little B&B.
She asks Lily what she did and Lily remembers: She won a drinking competition by drinking a
big glass of beer in under 10 seconds! She tells her colleague that she spent some quiet time with
her fiancee.
In the apartment Lily tells that story to Marshall. She wants to start doing classy grown up
stuff. She wants to host a wine tasting party, Marshall agrees to that.
End of the Flashback Back at the bar, Ted tells Robin that this was only the beginning. Since
then they were in book clubs all other boring events. So Lily and Marshall wont join them in the
club.
Robin tells Ted that her friend Kelly will be there to. Robin wants to set Ted up with her.
Barney thinks that that girl is ugly, but Robin tells Ted that she thinks Kelly is hot! So Ted
agrees. Barney asks if she could set him up too, but Robin ignores him.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Back in the apartment, Lily and Marshall are preparing their wine tasting and Ted has just
dressed up to go out. Barney enters complimenting himself about his perfect hair. Lily makes
a joke about his shirt, but Barney has his own theory: Girls are like fish, both are attracted to
shiny objects. He even wrote that in his Blog.
Ted and Barney leave, while Marshall tells them, that he and Lily will have much more fun.
In the front of the club, Barney tells Ted about his strategy to get a girl tonight. Robin comes
out and welcomes them, so the bouncer lets them in. Three nerds stand by the entrance and try
to get in as well, without a chance of course.
Back at the apartment Marshall is bored by the event. He gets asked if they plan to have kids
and all those things. Thats too much for him.
In the club the three enter. The music is so loud that we cant hear them talk, so a subtitle is
displayed. Robin brings Ted to Kelly and Barney prepares himself for his hunting (he just opens
his shirt).
Ted tries to talk with Kelly, but they dont understand each other, something the subtitle
makes obvious. Barney has found an object of interest as well and starts to dance with her.
Back in the apartment Marshall complains to Lily, that he wasnt invited into the club. Lily
doesnt understand him, she likes their party. Marshall tries to imitate one of the guests in the
kitchen, but the guest is standing behind him and so Marshall is completely embarrassed. So
Marshall wants to start drinking wine, but the guests tell him the wine isnt open long enough
yet.
In the club, Robin cant enter the VIP section and Ted still tries to talk to Kelly.
Marshall and Lily are still discussing their event in the kitchen. Their guests started to watch
an ultrasound video. Marshall thinks that even the baby looks bored. Lily thinks that everything
isnt that bad. She tells him that they are invited to a fondue fest next week. Marshall is angry
about that. She tells him that they need to grow up. Marshall knows that Lily is right, but he
decides that can wait one day more and flees their event through the bathroom window, even
though they live on the third floor! Marshall orders a taxi on the street.
In the club Ted tries to buy beer, but the bartender ignores him, because all those beautiful
girls stand on the counter. Ted has to pop up in front of the barkeeper to order his beer. The
problem with the communication starts again, when Ted and the barkeeper cant communicate
the price. The two beers coast 34(!) dollars.
Back at the apartment the people talk about smooth music, so even Lily is bored.
Back at the club Ted is back with Kelly and tries to talk to her again. She cant understand
him, until the music stops for a second. Then Ted is embarrassed, because he was angry she
didnt understood him and so she leaves.
Outside the club Robin tries to reach the owner so she can get into the VIP area, when
Marshall arrives. She gets him in. The three nerds think that he must be famous, like an Affleck
brother or so.
Robin tries to re-enter, but the new bouncer doesnt let her in, because her name is crossed
out already.
Inside Barney dances still with the same girl. She has her back towards him the entire time.
When Ted steps by, he has to tell Barney that shes hot. The subtitle translates the communica-
tion of signs used by them.
When Ted wants to get his jacket, he meets Marshall. Marshall convinces Ted not to leave
already. They get a drink. The problem: Earlier that day Marshall got a temporary crown. So
now it breaks and Marshall is in pain. The subtitle shows his screaming. He wants to stay, even
though he is in pain.
Back at the apartment Lily checks for Marshall and finds the empty bathroom. She calls
Marshall and hears the music. She is furious and climbs out the window as well and orders a
taxi as well.
Outside of the club Lily meets Robin who cant get in again. Inside Ted tells Marshall that he
plans to leave. So Marshall goes over to Barney. They can talk to each other in the rhythm of the
music. So Marshall checks out the restrooms for aspirin. The camera focuses on the door and
people are passing by fast foreword.
A few minutes later Marshall comes out again, smiling and enjoying the party.
Ted complains to the girl in the coat check about these clubs and how much he hates them.
She agrees with him. So they start chatting.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Outside Lily is complaining about Marshall. Robin asks Lily why she does all those boring
stuff. All she heard was that Lily did all the crazy stuff in collage. Lily wants to get Marshall: She
takes Robin and goes straight to the bouncer and flashes the top half of her body, so the bouncer
lets her in and Robin has to follow her lead. So they are in.
The nerds cant believe it, they saw two half nude women for the first time in their live.
Inside Ted has entered the wardrobe and talks to that girl about all those things that supposed
to be fun. Then Ted has an idea: How many coats can he wear at the same time? On the dance
floor Lily and Robin start looking for Marshall. Lily soon finds him. He is already the king on the
floor. He dances and the people stand around him in a circle and enjoy his performance. Lily is
shocked when she sees him and he is shocked as well, but then all her anger is gone and she
starts to smile at him again.
Meanwhile in the apartment, the guests play some board game and have fun.
In the disco Barney moves on with his girl. When she turns around they are both horrified,
because they know each other! Barney takes off and searches Ted. Ted meanwhile has on several
jackets. Barney tells him that the girl was his cousin and Ted has to promise that he doesnt tell
anyone. Ted forces Barney to tip the girl who works in the coat check by blackmailing Barney
with the story that he doesnt want Ted to share.
On the dance floor they search for Lily and Marshall. They made up in the mean time and are
kissing on the dance floor. They discovered their youth again, till it gets icky.
In the cab Ted, Barney, Lily and Marshall drive home. Ted starts to talk, he screams because
his hearing is almost gone from the loud music in the club. Marshall tells them that he would like
to be invited again. Barney says something too, but because he doesnt understand the others its
something about the music. Lily wakes up and feels sick, but falls asleep again. Ted complains
about those clubs. He has to go there, because he is single and has to do single stuff to find
someone.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

16
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Slutty Pumpkin
Season 1
Episode Number: 6
Season Episode: 6

Originally aired: Monday October 24, 2005


Writer: Brenda Hsueh
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen),
Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: David Henrie (Son), Lyndsy Fonseca (Daughter), Bob Saget (Voice of
Ted 2030), Joe Nieves (Carl)
Guest Stars: Chad Lindsey (Angel), Andy Brown (The Shagarats), Ryan Goessl (The
Shagarats), Kevin St. Clair (The Shagarats), Jeremy Gabriel (Mark),
Krizia Bajos (Hula Girl), Scott Allen Rinker (Host), Crispin Barrymore
(The Shagarats), Randall Bills (The Shagarats), Eric Bradley (The Sha-
garats)
Production Code: 1ALH05
Summary: Ted makes his yearly pilgrimage to the rooftop Halloween party in
search of a girl dressed as a pumpkin, whom he met years ago. Mean-
while, Robin is dumped after driving her new boyfriend away with her
independent ways.

Its Halloween 2005. The gang is in the


bar telling each other what theyre each
doing for Halloween. Robin will be spend-
ing it with her new guy, Mike. Marshall
and Lily will be going all out in a cos-
tume. And Ted will be at the roof Hal-
loween Party, found on the roof of their
apartment building which he has gone to
every year the past four years. Ted reveals
to Robin the reason he goes to that party
is, four years ago he met a girl dressed up
as a slutty pumpkin. Its slutty because it
was carved stragetically. He learns that
shes a Marine Bioligist, and once stud-
ied penguins for a year in Antartica. She
also made up her own cocktail called The
TootsieRoll made of Kahlua and rootbeer. He got her number on a Kit Kat wrapper, but the candy
was accidentally given away by Lily to some trick-or-treaters.
Halloween night: Marshall is dressed up as Jack Sparrow, from Pirates of The Carribean, and
Lily is his parrot. Ted is going in the same costume hes gone in the last 4 years, a hanging chad.
Barney is going as Maverick from Top Gun. Barney and Ted go to the (lame) roof party, while
Lily, Marshall, Robin and her date Mike go to the bar. At the bar Mike watches Lily and Marshall
be a cute couple and tries to slyly show that he and Robin are a cute couple too. He fails, and
Lily and Marshall notice, yet Robin is oblivious. Lily and Robin go to the Ladies room, and Lily
tells Robin that she needs to step it up as a girlfriend, or shes going to lose Mike. Robin decides
her first step is to share her dessert, which she ends up being very greedy about, and unable to
refer to her and Mike as we.
Back on the roof Ted is alone, as Barney had previously ditched him due to the lameness of
the party and the fact that he was rejected by a girl dressed as a hula girl. Barney later reappears

17
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

in a different costume, the devil but with a mask. He attempts to hit on the hula girl again, and is
once again, rejected. Barney decides to leave once again, and go to a Victorias Secret Halloween
party thats being held on a yacht.
At the bar, Mike decides to call it a night. Robin is surprised, and asks why. Mike tells her
that he doesnt think that she likes being with him. She likes to do things by herself, and alone.
He breaks up with her. Later, Lily and Marshall win the costume contest.
Back on the roof, Ted spots someone dresses up in penguin outfit, making themself a drink
out of Kahlua and rootbeer. He walks up to the girl to see if its her, and asks her. The penguin
takes off its head, and underneath is Barney. The hula girl comes out and notices that Barney
the penguin was also Barney the fighter pilot, and is very upset because she gave her number to
Barney the Pengiun. She tries to get her number back, but Barney refuses, so she walks away.
The party on the roof is ending, and Ted is sitting alone. Robin finds him on the roof and
reveals that she just got dumped, and wonders why she doesnt want to be in love like everyone
else around her. Ted reinstates Robins faith in herself and in love. Robin asks how he sits around
and waits for love, and Ted knows that the love of his life probably wont be walking through that
door, but he might as well sit and wait.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Matchmaker
Season 1
Episode Number: 7
Season Episode: 7

Originally aired: Monday November 7, 2005


Writer: Chris Marcil, Sam Johnson
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: David Henrie (Son), Lyndsy Fonseca (Daughter), Bob Saget (Voice of
Ted 2030), Joe Nieves (Carl)
Guest Stars: Beth Lacke (Dr. Sarah OBrien), Nick Jaine (Sudeep), Camryn Man-
heim (Ellen Pierce)
Production Code: 1ALH07
Summary: When a matchmaker with a 100% success rate turns Ted away be-
cause he is not compatible with any of the available women in her
database, he is still determined that he is going to find his match. Af-
ter getting information from the matchmakers computer, Ted pays a
visit to a very cute, but taken, dermatologist in an effort to prove the
prediction wrong that there are no women out there for him. Mean-
while, Marshall and Lily are obsessed with ridding their apartment of
a critter.moreless

Intro, Ted talks to his kids. The chil-


dren try to run off, but he orders them to
listen to his story about love.
In 2005. In the bar, Lily and Mar-
shall enter completely freaked out. Lily
grabs Barneys Whisky and drinks it on
ex. Marshall order immediately anther
round. So Ted asks what happened.
Marshall and Lily start to tell whats
happened: They entered the apartment
kissing, when Lily sees something under
the table and they both run away scream-
ing. Marshall thinks it was a mouse, but
Lily disagrees! She thinks its a huge
cockroach. They start to argue. Barney
starts to make jokes about Marshall flee-
ing from a mouse or a cockroach.
Then Robins interview is broadcasted and so they watch her interview with a dating agency
owner. The owner claims that she has a 100% success rate. She says that everything is just a
matter of science. When Barney sees a client enter the office during the interview, he decides
that he and Ted will sign up! He thinks thats the perfect opportunity to find desperate women.
Ted tries to refuse to go there, because he thinks it will mean that he failed to get his soul mate
on his own.
Marshall and Lily still argue about the type of animal they just saw. When Marshall says that
its only could have been a cockroach when it was wearing the skin of a mouse it just killed. This
idea freaks both out more and Lily grabs Barneys Whisky again.
Back in the apartment Ted hears something while he reads on the couch. Before he can look
into it, Barney storms in and gets Ted to come with him, with a fake story about his boat sinking.

19
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

So Ted and Barney are at the dating agency and fill out the forms. Barney plays the desperate
man - regretting his lifestyle when the owner enters the office. She tells him to get out, because
she sees that hes only playing. She threatens Barney to leave, so he leaves. She tells Ted that she
will only need three days to find the perfect match for him. Ted tries to refuse, but she calculates
the potential number of women, ready to date him in New York City. She tells him that only 8
women are out there, who might fit the profile for. So Ted agrees to use the service.
Back at the Bar, Lily takes again Barneys Whisky and tells him and Robin that the animal
is back. Marshall tells them that the animal has grown. So Lily tells them what happened: They
were watching TV, when Marshall saw it again. They used an insect sprat and Marshall threw
the phone book at it. Lily cried, because she thought that thay had just killed an animal. Then
the phone book (with the animal under it) started moving again. Lily and Marshall were scared
again and they fled to the bar.
Marshall and Lily tell Robin that it has to be some kind of hybrid between cockroach and
mouse a mutant! Marshall and Lily drink their shots.
Ted enters and complains about the open apartment door. Ted is worried, because it has been
five days and the dating agency hasnt called back. Lily tells him not to Ted-out about it. So
Barney tells him that they use his name all the time as verb.
Back at the dating agency Ted asks about the status of his case. The owner tells Ted, that
there are no women out there for him! She is devastated, because now she cant tell anymore
that she has a 100% success rate. Ted is devastated too, because there is no woman he can
meet. She shows him her results. There would be a match, but that girl is already paired up with
a man. Ted thinks that he has the better match rating and wants to meet her. She tells Ted
that there are new woman turning 18 every day. When she leaves for lunch, Ted enters the office
and gets the girls address.
Back at the bar Lily and Marshall are painting a picture of the animal in their apartment.
All people think this is funny and they are just crazy. Ted is excited about the information he
has on the woman (the information he stole form the office). Robin thinks that Lily and Marshall
have smoked too much weird stuff. Ted wants to check the woman out. So Ted gets a doctors
appointment at his potential dream girl. Ted tries to ask her out, but she tells him that she is
already engaged.
Back at the apartment Marshall and Lily are building a trap. Robin is really sceptical. Ted
and Barney enter as well. Ted is disappointed about his failure. Then the doctor calls Ted and
wants to see him and Ted thinks she will date him now. So Ted runs off.
Barney and Robin leave. Then the animal gets in the trap and is trapped in a pot.
Ted enters the doctors office. She informs him that he should have some malls removed. She
doesnt even think about dating him.
They start arguing about their situation. Ted finally sees that he cant force her.
Marshall took the trap to a science friend of his. When they open the trap, its empty. Marshall
thinks that might be the end for Lily.
In the apartment Lily shows the thing to Robin. Robin throws a drink on it. Marshall comes
home and tries to catch it. He does and throws it out of the window. All three look out the open
window, relieved - the thing starts flying. When it flies back to them they close the window. They
are scared again. The animal hits the window and falls down.
At the dating agency, Ted wants his money back. The owner is crying. She tells him that she
tried everything. She even tried to find women on the street while showing his picture around.
She thinks she is a failure. Ted tries to convince her that she will have success one day. He
convinces her to look again for him, but this time for free.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

The Duel
Season 1
Episode Number: 8
Season Episode: 8

Originally aired: Monday November 14, 2005


Writer: Gloria Calderon Kellett
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: Lyndsy Fonseca (Daughter), David Henrie (Son), Bob Saget (Voice of
Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: (Jackie), Keisuke Hoashi (Doctor), Maya Parish (Erin),
Jacqueline Pinol
Martin Starr (Kevin), Brian Petrucelli (Moving Man #1), Keri Safran
(Katie), Miki Mia (Chinese Waitress)
Production Code: 1ALH06
Summary: As Lily becomes more of a permanent fixture in the apartment, Ted
feels like he is being edged out of the mix by his engaged roomies.
Petrified of being left alone and homeless, Ted tells Marshall that when
he and Lily are married, he wants the apartment. The problem is that
Marshall wants to keep the place too, so they settle it like real grown-
ups launching into a sword fight that leaves one man down for the
count.

Future Ted is explaining to his kids


about his and Marshalls apartment, and
all the memories it holds: Such as Mar-
shall playing video games, Lily painting,
and Ted making coffee in a 50 year old
coffee pot. He loved everything, including
the tacky swords they hung on their wall.
2005: Robin and Lily come into the
apartment with shopping bags, telling the
guys that they wont believe what hap-
pened to them earlier.
Earlier: Lily and Robin are walking
down the street, and Lily is explaining
how she has her own apartment, she
doesnt live with Marshall and Ted. But
she hasnt been to her apartment in like,
3 months. When they get to her apart-
ment, all Lily can say is What the hell? They open the door and step inside and the apartment
is now a Chinese restaurant. The waitress explains that they sent her a notice 3 months ago
that they were changing her place to a restaurant and that since she never had a written lease,
theres no legal problems. Lily starts thinking she can call her landlady whos 98 years old, and
then turns to the waitress and asks if shes dead. The waitress replies She never even saw the
bus. Back at Marshall and Teds apartment, Lily is worrying about what shes going to do, where
shes going to live. Ted offers her to stay with them. Marshall asks if hes sure, and Ted says yes,
he doesnt think it will change anything.
At the bar with Ted, Barney and Robin, Barney explains how it will change everything. He ex-
plains that once Marshall and Lily are married, theyre going to want to keep the apartment, and
what is Ted going to do. Robin asks if he ever talked to Marshall about who gets the apartment.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Flashback: Ted and Marshall are playing video games, and Marshall brings up the subject.
Ted decides to let Future Ted and Future Marshall take care of it.
Bar: Barney tells Ted he blew his chance, and that Marshall and Lily will edge him out.
During the bar scene, a girl a few tables away keeps waving and smiling at Barney. When asked,
Barney explains that hes on a date, but not into the girl. He met her online, and she wants a
relationship, a soul mate, because thats what Barney put on his profile. He asks Ted to call him
in a little bit and pretend that hes at the hospital with an emergency. Robin cant believe how
lame he is. Barney leaves back to his date. Ted starts calling Barney, but Robin does it instead.
Shes coming on to him on the phone, but Barney has to pretend its his Aunt Cathy and that
Uncle Rudy was in the hospital for trying to build his own helicopter. Barney then leaves his
date.
At the apartment: Ted finds his 50 year old coffee maker replaced with Lilys coffeemaker,
and is a little upset. Later, Lily is done with a painting and asks if she can hang it over the
piano, where the tacky swords are currently hung. Marshall thinks its fine, but Ted refuses, and
suggests she hang it in Marshalls room. Later Barney tells Ted that he has to make a big move
to show that hes still in the game, since he wont talk to Marshall about it. We then see Lily and
Marshall talking about Teds attitude, and Lily thinks that he doesnt want here there. Someone
knocks on the door and its a delivery for Ted. Its a big red English phone booth. Ted comes
home and tells Marshall that he likes the phone booth, and would like it to stay where it is (right
between the couch and the front door). Marshall agrees, since they all live there, they should
all have things they want there. Marshall then puts Lilys painting on the wall, and removes the
swords. They both announce that they want the apartment.
At the bar we watch Barney go through 2 different dates, and implementing the Lemon Law
on both of them. The lemon law is the same law that goes towards cars, within the first 5 minutes;
you will be able to decide whether or not you want to commit to this person.
Both of his dates leave very angry. Robin disagrees with his law, telling him that it takes more
than 5 minutes to decide. Barney points out some random nerd at the bar, and asks her if she
was on a date with him, would it take her more than 5 minutes to realize she didnt want to be
with him. Barney then introduces the nerd to Robin.
Back at the apartment, Ted is flipping a coin to see who gets the apartment. But instead they
end up arguing. Ted tells him he cant believe he took down the swords, as the swords symbolize
their bro-hood. The both pick up a sword, and start dueling, and continue dueling.
Robin is at some kind of sci-fi alien restaurant with the nerdy guy. He is very dull. Barney
calls her to taunt the lemon law in his face. The nerd thinks that the phone call is her lame
excuse to leave early, but she tells him its not.
Ted and Marshall are still dueling, and they think its awesome. They start choreographing
crazy sword moves, and are quite proud of themselves. During the duel, Ted is trying to explain
why he should get the apartment, since hes not getting married, hes missing out already. Mar-
shall jumps on the coffee table and they continue dueling. They flashback on when they put the
swords up, it was 5 years earlier, the first day they moved in. Ted is putting the swords up, while
Marshall is building a coffee table. Marshall cant find a screw for the table, so Ted hands him
wood glue, thinking it will hold. Back to the duel, Lily walks in, the table breaks, and Marshall
goes flying, sword first, into Lily, and we hear a scream.
During Robins date, she gets a call regarding Lily and has to go. The nerd thinks shes
dishonorable and yells alien obscenities at her, telling her she should have just been upfront.
Robin tries to explain shes not lying, but gives up and leaves.
At the hospital, Ted offers the apartment to Marshall. Then they go in to see Lily and explain
the sword fight, and try to offer the apartment to each other instead of keeping it. Lily interrupts
their argument, and says she doesnt want the apartment. Its a boy apartment; she wants a new
place once they get married. And they all agree to let their future selves deal with it since the
wedding isnt for another year. Lily announces shes starved, so the whole gang goes to dinner.
They end up at Lilys apartment/Chinese restaurant.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Belly Full of Turkey


Season 1
Episode Number: 9
Season Episode: 9

Originally aired: Monday November 21, 2005


Writer: Phil Lord, Chris Miller
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: Ned Rolsma (Marcus Eriksen), Robert Michael Ryan (Marvin Eriksen
Jr.), Bill Fagerbakke (Marvin Eriksen Sr.), Suzie Plakson (Judy Erik-
sen), Lyndsy Fonseca (Daughter), David Henrie (Son), Bob Saget (Voice
of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Adam Kulbersh (Kendall), Tom Ayers (Waiter), Elizabeth Bogush
(Amanda), Katie A. Keane (Stripper), Jennifer Ann Wilson (Ashley Erik-
sen), John Bobek (Clerk), Eben Ham (Policeman)
Production Code: 1ALH09
Summary: Ted and Robin are surprised to run into Barney when they volunteer
at a homeless shelter on Thanksgiving. Lily is on the brink of freaking
out when she goes to Thanksgiving dinner at her future in-laws house.

The episode starts off with Lily and


Marshall getting ready to visit his family.
It is obvious that Lily isnt 100% happy at
the prospect of seeing Marshalls family,
and when they arrive it is obvious why.
When they enter the house it is like the
land of the giants and Lily looks like a
tiny Hobbit.
Back to New York... Ted, Robin and
Barney discuss their plans for Thanks-
giving. Barney, of course, knows how to
make the best of this holiday and has his
heart set on going to this strip club that
has a Thanksgiving buffet. After Barney
leaves Ted decides that he is going to vol-
unteer and Robin goes along with.
Upon getting to the shelter Ted and
Robin are amazed to find out that Barney a volunteer and that he is the volunteer of the year!
Robin plays the have you met Ted game and introduces him to a pretty girl. Ted asks how
they can help and starts sorting the best food from the donations with Robin. Ted and Robin
also discover that Barney isnt a saint after all and is actually serving court ordered community
service.
Then the pretty girl then comes back and to his surprise Ted figures out that they were sorting
out the good food for her! Ted does the right thing and reports the girl to the supervisor who is
angry... not because she was taking the food, but because she didnt give him his cut. This sends
Ted off the deep end and he grabs some of the food and throws it to the poor.
Cut to the street curb where our favorite characters are sitting... Barney is very angry after
being fired and holding his Volunteer of the Year plaque. Ted promises to do anything to make it
up to him and of course Barney has the perfect place... the strip club.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Back to Lily and Marshall and the land of the giants. Lily is late and freaking out over the idea
of giving birth to a 15lbs giant baby. At dinner she reveals that she will not be taking the family
name and that she has no plans of leaving NY. Lily gets up to go to the bathroom, but ends up
taking the car to the nearest store to buy a pregnancy test and gets arrested for public urination.
Marshall comes to her rescue and finds out that they are not expecting.
Now back to the strip club... Barney finds the perfect way for Ted to make things up to him.
He has Ted buy a homeless person a lap dance

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

The Pineapple Incident


Season 1
Episode Number: 10
Season Episode: 10

Originally aired: Monday November 28, 2005


Writer: Carter Bays
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: Joe Nieves (Carl), Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Danica McKellar (Trudy), Joanna Leeds (Jane)
Production Code: 1ALH08
Summary: After being forced into knocking back five shots, so he will stop think-
ing, Ted goes on a partying rampage. The next morning he wakes up
with a woman in his bed, but he does not know who it is. So he turns
to his friends to try and piece the night together and work out who the
woman is in his bed.

Old Ted tells us he remembers a lot


of stories before he met his kids mother,
but one he doesnt remember at all is re-
ferred to by Marshall as The Pineapple
Incident. It was a night that started like
any other, the gang is down in the bar.
Carl the bartender brings them a tray of
shots he concocted and named red drag-
ons. After he walks away the gang de-
cides not to drink them and Lily says they
look like blood. Marshall takes this as
more proof for a theory he has that Carl
is really a vampire. Robin checks her watch and tells them she has to get dressed as shes going
out with a billionaire, or as she calls it, a hundred-millionaire. She tells them hes taking her
to a charity event for third world hunger and Barney bluntly asks if shes going to put out. Robin
ignores the question and leaves. Marshall asks Ted if hes okay with the girl of his dreams dating
a billionaire. Ted corrects him that hes a hundred-millionaire and that Robin isnt the girl of
his dreams as they want different things. Barneys attention meanwhile has been diverted by a
table of girls in the corner. He points out one who is short with an ample bosom so shes like
half-boob. Ted asks Barney what hes going to say when he goes over there and Barney comes
up with Daddys home. Ted tries to convince him otherwise but Barney goes over to the table
and comes back with a girls number. Barney tells Ted he thinks too much and Ted protests it
cant be helped he has a powerful brain. Barney thinks it can and puts a shot in front of Ted.
But he doesnt want Ted to do a shot, but all five shots. He tells Ted his brain gets in the way
of things, like with Robin and half-boob and he needs to power it down. Marshall adds Ted does
overthink, so maybe he should overdrink. He starts chanting Drink, drink, drink and Ted asks
Lily for her input and Lily joins in the chant. Ted does each shot to their cheers and between
each one talks about how powerful his brain is. After the fifth shot, Old Ted tells us thats all he
remembers. The next thing he remembered was waking up the next morning. Ted wakes up and
sees a pineapple on his nightstand. He sits up and sees a girl in his bed. He starts to get out of
bed and finds he can barely walk on one of his ankles. He limps into the living room and asks
Lily and Marshall what happened.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

The night before, Carl asks the gang how they liked the shots and Ted replies, I drank all five,
bitch! Marshall proclaims he loves drunk Ted and drunk Ted proceeds to tell Carl that Marshall
thinks hes a vampire. Carl tells the gang if Ted pukes, they have to clean it up. Ted tells them
hes vomit free since 93 and gets out his phone. Lily asks who hes calling Ted tells her Robin
and they think its a bad idea but Barney tells them the point of getting drunk is to do things you
would never do sober. Ted calls Robin whos all dolled up in a limo with her hundred millionaire
and tells her hes vomit-free since 93. He also tells her shes a great reporter and should one of
the minutes on 60 Minutes. Robin tells him thats sweet and odd and tries to get off the phone
but not before Ted tells her she doesnt have to put out for the billionaire. At the end of the call
Lily takes his phone but Barney gives it back to him. Ted is glad Barney appreciates his doing
and not thinking and goes to the bathroom. Lily protests and tells Barney that Ted isnt making
smart decisions and Barney tells her hes unpredictable and they dont know what hes going to
do next.
What Teds going to do next is pick Voices by Cheap Trick on the jukebox and call Robin
and sing along to the jukebox. He gets up on a stool and proclaims, I love everyone in this bar!
And we love you, drunk Ted! Marshall replies. Teds song ends when he falls off the stool.
Ted guesses thats what how he hurt his ankle. Lily tells Ted then they took him home and
put him in bed. Ted asks if there anyone in there with him. Marshall and Lily go and peep in
Teds doorway.
Lily: Theres a girl in there!
Ted: I know!
Marshall: And a pineapple!
Ted: I know!
Lily: Who is she?
Ted: I dont know!
Ted finds his jacket on a chair but a large hole is burned in the back. He doesnt know what
happened to it and Lily clarifies the girl in his bed is alive, right? Ted calls Barney but they hear
his phone ringing. They go and find Barney sleeping in the bathtub.
Marshall asks Barney how he got in as they put Ted to bed around one.
Marshall and Lily tuck Ted in bed as he tells them theyre the best and he loves them. He stays
in bed for all of five seconds before going back to the bar and exclaiming, Im back, babydoll!
He high-fives Barney who tells him its do-o-clock and zooms in on a girl. He introduces her to
Ted, but he turns around sees Ted has his phone out again. Barney tells Ted if he calls Robin
again, hell set his coat on fire. Regardless Ted calls Robin and this time when Robin answers
the phone, she hears Ted screaming.
Ted is appalled Barney set him on fire but Barney blithely states real suede wouldnt have
gone up so fast. Ted asks who the girl in his bed is and Barney runs to his room and comes back
and tells him theres a girl in his bed. Marshall points out theres also a pineapple and asks if
hes the only one curious about that. Ted tells him he has no idea who the girl is and Barney tells
after hosing him off with the beverage gun, he brought him back upstairs. Ted checks his arms
for burns and finds I am Ted. If lost, please call 555-2578. He asks the gang if any of them
wrote that and he doesnt know whose number it is. Marshall tells him to call it but not before he
makes some popcorn. Marshall returns with popcorn and Ted calls the number. He asks whos
on the other line and its Carl from the bar.
As Barney tucks Ted into bed, Ted tells him to take his finest stallion. Again, he stays in bed
for all of five seconds before going to the bar and proclaiming, Im back, babydoll! He adds hes
going to throw up and runs into the bathroom.
Ted is disappointed his streak is broken as vomit free since 05 doesnt sound impressive. He
tells Carl to keep telling him what happened.
Ted tells Carl the word karaoke is Japanese for empty orchestra and calls it hauntingly beau-
tiful. He asks Carl if hes a vampire and Carl tells him hes cutting it off and its time to go home.
Ted thinks its because the sun is coming up soon and Carl takes Teds arm and writes his
number so if he passes out in the gutter someone will call and let him know. Ted giggles as Carl
writes on his arm and tells him they cant just be friends, theyre attracted to each other. Ted
tells him hes talking about Robin and has to make one more call. Carl mutters, Yeah, thisll go
good. Ted calls Robin and asks her to come over. From Teds end of the phone, it sounds like
she said yes.

26
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Ted tells the gang the girl in his bed is Robin. Marshall asks if they... and Ted nods. Barney
raises his hand for a high five and points out with those five shots he didnt think, but he did,
and he did Robin. Ted returns his high five and Lily high fives him as well. Ted is confused as to
what this means and Marshall tells him its smart to think about it. Lily points out Robin might
have something to say about Teds future with Robin and urges Ted to wake her up. Ted asks
what he should say and Barney suggests Daddys home. Ted limps over to his room and is right
about to wake Robin when his phone rings. He answers it and its Robin. He looks at the girl in
his bed and asks, Are you sure? Ted limps back into the living room and Robin tells him shes
on her way over. The gang is mystified and Lily tells Ted they have to figure who the girl in his
bed is. The girl comes out of Teds room and tells them her name is Trudy. Barney and Marshall
shoot Ted approving looks, as she is half-boob from the night before.
Trudy is out with her friends and telling them after her breakup she wants to jump the bones
of the next guy she sees. Barney comes up to the table and says, Daddys home. Trudy and her
friends are turned off by him so Barney writes down a fake name and number.
Later when Ted is singing, Trudy tells her friend Ted is cute. Later Trudys in the bathroom
when Ted comes out of a stall. He asks what shes doing in the mens room, then realizes hes in
the ladies room and he came in to throw up. Trudy asks if he did and he proudly tells her he did
not.
Ted is happy his streak is still alive and high fives Marshall. He then tells Trudy to continue
the story.
Trudy tells Ted she wished she had his guts to get up and make a complete idiot of herself.
Trudy contemplates shes had a serious week and could afford to do something stupid. Ted
replies, Im something stupid. Do me. Trudy puts her number in his phone and Ted asks why
they call it karaoke and Trudy tells him its Japanese for empty orchestra. Ted tells her thats
hauntingly beautiful. His phone rings and Trudy says he should call her sometime. After Carl
writes his number on Teds arm, Ted really called Trudy and asks her to come over.
Trudy tells them she came over and is now really embarrassed. Marshall exclaims, Dammit
Trudy! What about the pineapple? Theres a knock at the door and Ted asks Trudy to hide in his
bathroom. She asks if thats his girlfriend and he stumbles to explain that its complicated and
she hides in his room. Ted opens the door and apologizes to Robin for all the calls and she tells
him some were really weird. Lily and Marshall decide to get a snack and make Barney go with
them to give Robin and Ted some privacy. Ted protests his calls werent that weird and Robin
plays one where he tells her hes going to make a gutteral sound until she answers. She tells
him it goes on for three minutes. Robin tells him theyre trying to be friends and hes making it
all confusing. Ted tells her theyve both moved on and Robin doesnt believe he has. He calls for
Trudy but she doesnt answer. He opens the door but shes gone.
He tells Robin he doesnt care what she thinks and Robin asks why Ted hid her from Robin.
Ted tells her shes good and should be on 60 Minutes. Robin tells him he told her that last night.
She tells him not to feel bad and goes into the living room. Old Ted tells us sometimes you turn
off your brain for the night and end up with hangover, a sprained ankle and a pineapple. And
they never found out where the pineapple came from, but the gang enjoyed eating it.

27
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

28
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

The Limo
Season 1
Episode Number: 11
Season Episode: 11

Originally aired: Monday December 19, 2005


Writer: Sam Johnson, Chris Marcil
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick
Harris (Barney Stinson), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Lyndsy Fonseca (Daughter), David Hen-
rie (Son), Marshall Manesh (Ranjit)
Guest Stars: James Tupper (Derek), J. P. Manoux (Not Moby), Kathleen Rose
Perkins (Mary Beth), Natalie Denise Sperl (Natalya)
Production Code: 1ALH10
Summary: Ted rents a limo to take the gang out to sample five New Years Eve
parties in a quest to find the perfect celebration.

On New Years Eve, Ted spends half of


his holiday bonus to rent a limo for him-
self and his friends. The mission: Visit
five separate parties and find the ultimate
one to ring in the New Year.
Ted invites a woman from his office,
who he thinks has been giving him sig-
nals shes interested in more than just
being co-workers since she continually
hugs him. However, like a plot from Sein-
feld, this assumption proves wrong as the
woman hugs anyone and everyone who
climbs into the limo for any reason.
Robin has plans to ring in the New
Year with her boyfriend and leaves the
gang to their party search. Barney has
his ultimate mix CD to get everyone in the
party mood.
The first party goes well but Ted is undauntedhe wants to check out the other four. Barney
picks up a woman with an Eastern European accent who is promptly left behind at the second
party. Robin calls and asks to be picked up since her boyfriend is working on New Years Eve, to
which Ted quickly agrees. Robin is hungry and the gang agrees to hit a hot dog shop. Lily takes
advantage of this opportunity to change shoes and is separated from the group. Marshall goes
looking for her.
The gang meets a man who looks like Mobey who takes them to a special party. Turns out
the guy isnt Mobey but instead a crazy man who carries a gun and steals Barneys mix CD. The
gang quickly abandons him. The limo gets a flat tire, derailing the plan. Lily catches up with the
group but they cant contact Marshall since the phone circuits are all overloaded on New Years
Eve.
Teds date ask him how long hes been in love with Robin and leaves.
Just as it seems the whole evening is a bust, Marshall shows upturns out he went looking for
the gang at the Mobey party, where he got back Barneys mix CD. The tire is fixed and they speed
off to a party, only to get stuck in traffic. Barneys date wasnt lots but is instead up front, asleep.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

She wakes up in time for midnight. Ted pulls out champagne and is ready to toast everyone and
kiss Robin (the two agreed to kiss each other first at midnight) when her boyfriend shows up.
Being the ood man out with no one to kiss, Ted leaves the gang to their celebration, only to have
Robin come after him. The two share a kiss at midnight.

30
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

The Wedding
Season 1
Episode Number: 12
Season Episode: 12

Originally aired: Monday January 9, 2006


Writer: Kourtney Kang
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky),
Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick
Harris (Barney Stinson)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Ashley Williams (Victoria), Matt Boren
(Stuart), Virginia Williams (Claudia)
Production Code: 1ALH11
Summary: Robin accepts Teds invite to a friends wedding, but thanks to Ted,
the couple may never make it down the aisle.

The day before his friends wedding,


Ted invites Robin to attend with him, as-
suming he checked the box to bring a
date to the wedding. Barney tries to con-
vince him this is a bad idea since this will
not allow him to hit on eligible brides-
maids. Marshall and LIly discuss their
wedding and how Lily wants to get mar-
ried in the woods. Marshall wants a more
traditional wedding.
Ted runs into the bride-to-be who tells
him he did not indicate hed bring a
date on his RSVP card. Ted argues me
must have and the bride forbids Ted from
bringing Robin. He goes to tell Robin this,
only to find that Lily and Robin have
been shopping and Robin has purchased
a great dress and is very excited. Lily tells Ted shes been playing him up to Robin in at attempt
to help Teds romantic standing with Robin. Ted cant tell her and at Lilys behest goes to the
groom who say its fine to invite Robin.
This leads to an argument and the wedding being called off. The bride heads to the bar where
she runs into Barney who is only too willing to try and take advantage of the situation. Ted and
Marshall go and talk to the groom, eventually getting the two to reconcile. Ted is then allowed to
bring Robin to the wedding.
Ted shows up to pick up Robin, just as she gets the phone call to anchor the evening cast. Ted
tells her to go and attends the wedding solo. The bride brings up Teds RSVP card that indicates
he was coming solo. Ted decides maybe hes meant to be single right now and Barney agrees. As
Ted watches LIly and Marshall dance, he realizes things are too difficult with he and Robin and
he should enjoy the single life he has. Just as hes come to terms with this, his sees a girl across
the room. She smiles at him and the episode ends.

31
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

32
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Drumroll, Please
Season 1
Episode Number: 13
Season Episode: 13

Originally aired: Monday January 23, 2006


Writer: Gloria Calderon Kellett
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin),
Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick
Harris (Barney Stinson)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Virginia Williams (Claudia), Ashley
Williams (Victoria), Matt Boren (Stuart)
Guest Stars: Kelly Stables (Masseuse), Napiera Groves (Tanya)
Production Code: 1ALH12
Summary: Ted finds a new woman at the wedding. They want to remember the
evening so they dont exchange last names or numbers; but Ted takes
a big fall when he tries to find out her name.

Drumroll, Please picks up immedi-


ately after the end of the last episode,
The Wedding.
Ted has met Victoria at Claudias wed-
ding. The two hit it off and are flirting
back and forth. They agree to not ex-
change names so they will have a mem-
ory of one perfect evening together at the
wedding. At first, Victoria uses the name
Buttercup and Ted uses the name Lando
Calrissianuntil Barney unwittingly ruins
it by bluring out Teds real name.
Ted and Victoria dance, flirt and sneak
off together, finding an empty room with
a grand piano. Ted plays while Victoria
tap dances and the two agree to almost
but not quite kiss, thus not ruining the
moment. Also on the agenda, Victoria does summersalts while making Ted hold her shoes.
Ted is unaware that Robin was able to come to the reception late looking for him. She sees Ted
with Victoria and realizes she has feelings for Ted. As she sits in the bathroom sobbing, Victoria
comes in and comforts her, revealing that shes not a guest of the bride or groom but that she
made the cake.
At the end of the evening, Ted laments that all the great memories will be ruined by the one
of Victoria walking out without him.
Victoria has him close his eyes and she leaves.
The next day, Ted tells Marshall and Lily about Victoria and their pact. Marshall is in heaven
over the wedding cake and wants more.
Lily and Marshall tell Ted he has to find Victoria and talk to her again.
Ted calls Claudia on her honeymoon and she says there was no Victoria on the guest list. Ted
is upset, until he realizes Barney hooked up with a bridesmaid and she might know Victoria. Ted
has Barney call and they try to identify the girl by her shoeswhich were brown with snowflakes.
Robin comes to Lily and confesses she was there and has feelings for Ted. She also tells LIly
she knows who Teds mysterious dream woman is and debates on what she should tell Tedthe

33
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

name and way to contact his dream woman or that she loves him. as Robin goes down to the
bar to talk to Ted, his cell phone rings. Its Claudia again who after her new husband got after
her and having a drink at the airport bar, tells Ted she knows the woman. Ted realizes its the
woman from the Buttercup bakery.
Ted, Marshall and Barney grab a cab and head to the bakery. Marshall wants a cupcake while
Ted wonders if he should go in or respect the pact he and Victoria made. Barney finally gets him
to go in. Ted goes into the bakery and sees Victoria. She turns around, expresses delight at seeing
Ted and the two embrace and kiss...

34
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Zip, Zip, Zip


Season 1
Episode Number: 14
Season Episode: 14

Originally aired: Monday February 6, 2006


Writer: Brenda Hsueh
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Ashley Williams (Victoria), Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Sarah Loew (Dumped Friend), Vivian Bang (Ava)
Production Code: 1ALH13
Summary: After agreeing to take things slowly and not have sex for a month, Ted
and Victoria decide that they have waited long enough.

Ted and Victoria have been dating for


three weeks now. Early on, the couple
agreed they always rushed relationships
in the past and decide to wait to have sex
for one month. At first, Ted is OK with
this, but after three weeks, hes staring
to feel a little frustrated.
Barney is frustrated with Ted, having
lost his wing man to cruise bars and pick
up women. When Robin gives Barney an
assist at a bar, Barney invites her to be
his bro and hit the town, looking for eli-
gible singles. Robin agrees, even going so
far as to suit up to go along.
Marshall and Lilly are supposed to go
out of town to celebrate their 9th anniver-
sary. But they decide against it.
Victoria and Ted are planning to sleep together in a week, until Victoria realizes she is going
home to see her parents that weekend. Ted says they could just wait another week and Victoria
suggests theyre ready. They head back to what Ted thinks is a deserted apartment to consumate
the relationship...
...only to trap Lilly and Marshall in the bathroom (they dont want to ruin the moment for Ted)
as the two talk on the couch, kiss and get ready to head to the bedroom.
Lilly worries she and Marshall are out of firsts and that the zing and fire has gone out of their
relationship. She also drank a Big Gulp of Mountain Dew before going into the bathroom. Lilly
has to pee but doesnt want to pee in front of Marshall so as to maintain some mystery in their
relationship. Finally, she can take it no more and does her business with Marshall sitting behind
the shower curtain. She accidentally flushes. The two come out of the bathroom to find Ted and
Victoria have moved into the bedroom. They talk, figuring there are still lots of firsts to come and
begin to kiss. Ted comes out in a robe, telling them to get a room.
Meanwhile, Barney and Robin are hitting it off as bros They go play laser tag, which they
both love. Both are cheaters at Battleship. Robin helps Barney break the ice with a woman in the
bar. Barney misreads this as interest in him by Robin and calls Ted to see if it will upset Ted if
Barney makes a move on Robin. Ted says its fine (hes in the middle of the seduction of Victoria).

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Barney and Robin go back to her place and she goes to get Battleship. Barney undresses,
leading to an awkward confronation. Barney figures out Robin loves Ted and the two end up
playing Battleship.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Game Night
Season 1
Episode Number: 15
Season Episode: 15

Originally aired: Monday February 27, 2006


Writer: Chris Harris (II)
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Marshall Manesh (Ranjit), Ashley Williams (Victoria), Bob Saget (Voice
of Ted 2030), Suzie Plakson (Judy Eriksen)
Guest Stars: Katie Walder (Shannon), Michael McNeely (Screaming Boy), Mark Der-
win (Greg)
Production Code: 1ALH14
Summary: A mysterious tape arrives for Barney from one of his numerous ex-
girlfriends, and the entire gang watches it. But, in order for them all
to find out how she broke Barneys heart and made him into a suit-
wearing bachelor, everyone must share their most embarrassing mo-
ment.

One of the traditions of Ted and


company is game night. Only problem
Marshall is very good, winning every
game the group plays. So they ask him
to make a new game to play. Victoria is
invited to join the game, though Ted asks
that he not be interrogated by Marshall
and Lilly as the new girlfriend. Marshall
turns the new game into an opportunity
to dig into Victorias past and find dirt on
her.
During the game, Lilly reveals she met
a woman who knew Barney. The woman,
Shannon, gave Lilly a videotape to return
to Barney.
Barney grabs it and smashes it. Lilly
then reveals she gave him the wrong tape
and reveals the real one. The group watches it, seeing Barney with long hair, a soul patch and
singing a bad love song to Shannon. Barney grabs the tape and storms out.
The group gathers later in the bar and ask Barney to tell the story of the tape. Barney agrees,
but only if the group tells him embarrassing stories in trade. They agree.
Marshalls story: Using the bathroom at Lillys school, being surprised by a child and having
Lillys see him on the floor with his pants pulled down.
LIllys story: Having sex with Marshall under a blanket Marshalls mom knitted for them while
Marshalls mom is on the phone.
Victorias story: Censored by Ted from the kids in the future, though Marshall says its the
best story ever.
Teds story: On the night he met Robin, he got drunk and went back to kiss her. He threw up
on her doormat and ran off. He also reveals to Victoria he had feelings for Robin.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Barneys story takes places eight years earlier. He and Shannon have just graduated and plan
to join the Peace Corp. They both work in a coffee shop and are saving themselves for when they
get married.
A rich guy in a suit comes in, notices Shannon and mocks Barney. As the day to leave ap-
proaches, Shannon changes her mind but tells Barney to go. Shannons excuse: her dad wont
let her go. Barney realizes this is stupid, comes back and finds her kissing another man. She
was planning to dump him when he went to Nicaragua for two years. Broken hearted, Barney
makes the tape.
Weeks later, Shannon comes by in a suit to get her last check. Shes now seeing the guy in
the suit who mocked Barney earlier.
Barney is upset, leaves the shop and wanders New York. He sees a flyer that says Suit up!
and goes to buy a suit. He cuts his hair, shaves his soul patch and becomes the Barney we know
and love today.
He also reveals that after leaving Teds, he went to see Shannon. They talked and shared
about their lives, after which he slept with her. He took footage of this on his cell phone as proof
and shows it to the group.
As the episode closes, Ted opens the door to find Victoria left fake dog poop on his doormat,
Barney hits on a woman in the bar and Robin finds a new doormat to replace the one she lost.
Ted reveals that part of the story is only beginning...

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Cupcake
Season 1
Episode Number: 16
Season Episode: 16

Originally aired: Monday March 6, 2006


Writer: Suzy Mamann-Greenberg, Maria Ferrari
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: Ashley Williams (Victoria), Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Sergey Brusilovsky (Tailor), Caroline Lagerfelt (Bridal Shop Lady)
Production Code: 1ALH15
Summary: Things are going great with Ted and Victorias relationship, but when
Victoria is offered her dream job, the couple have to make serious rela-
tionship decisions. Meanwhile, Marshall and Lily set out to purchase
their wedding outfits and find out that neither can afford what they
bought.

Older Ted: Kids, when it comes to


love, the best relationships are the ones
that just comes naturally. Ted is mak-
ing cupcakes for Victoria, but when he
takes them out of the oven, they arent
quite done. Things with Victoria were
fun, easy, and uncomplicated. It was
pretty great. Barney walks into Mar-
shalls apartment and Marshall is color-
ing in the holes in his suit pants.
Barney tells him that he needs to get
a new suit for the interview. Marshall ex-
plains that he is not getting paid for the
internship that he is interviewing for, but
Barney insists on taking Marshall to his
tailor to make him a suit. Marshall de-
clines, but Barney rips his pants, making
him have to go to the tailor. Lily meets Robin and Victoria at the bar and Victoria offers to help
Lily look at dresses. Robin gets testy with Victoria, but when Victoria walks away to answer her
phone, Lily tells her to be nice. Victoria returns and tells them that she got a spot in a culinary
institute in Germany. Victoria tells Ted and he stunned by the news and she explains that it is
a big deal. Ted asks what happens to their relationship and Victoria is confused as to what to
do. They decide that long-distance relationships dont work, so they would either have to stay
together and her not go to Germany or they would have to break up. Victoria tells Ted that she
has to leave on Monday, so they decide to talk about the next day. Older Ted: So thats when
things got complicated.
Marshall calls Lily when she is at the dress shop and Marshall is uncomfortable at Teds tailor
which is in the back of a pet store.
Ted speaks to the shop owner in Ukrainian. Ted is there and mulls over the decision that he
going to have to make. Barney tells Ted that long-term relationships work and he has four of
them. Marshall reminds Ted about this guy that Lily met at an art and that he talked to him
and told him to stay away from Lily. Marshall tells Ted that the point of the story is that Lily is

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

his soul-mate and if Victoria is his soul-mate, then he should make her stay. Barney interjects
and tells Ted that he really doesnt know Ted and suggests things that Ted doesnt know about
her. Ted calls Victoria to ask her if she is a cat-person and she says that she is. Ted gets off of
the phone and thinks that he doesnt know anything about her. Barney picks out Marshalls suit
and when he tries it on, Barney tells him that he needs to wear the suit for a job interview at
his office. Marshall tells him that he will make tons more money, but Marshall doesnt want to
sell out. Ted pipes up and decides that he has made his decision. Older Ted: So, I met her that
night and told her my decision. Ted and Victoria are at a restaurant and Victoria offers him a
fully cooked cupcake. Ted suddenly decides that he wants her to stay.
Back to the beginning of their time at the dress shop, Lily tells the lady that she wants a
dress that is not too frilly, but she still wants to be a princess. Robin tells the lady that they
saw some cute dresses in the window to the shop, but the lady tells her that they are out of her
price range. Lily is insulted, but Victoria tells them that the ladies that work at wedding dress
shops can figure out how much someone makes just by their underwear. Robin asks Victoria if
she has figured out about the relationship with Ted, but she has no idea. She suggests that Ted
may be the one, but Robin suggests that there will be other guys in Germany. Lily comes in out
of the dressing rooms in a hideous dress. Lily then tells the girls that she took an art in France
and it is actually the same story that Marshall told earlier. The moral of her story is that if she
knows that they are soul-mates, then they should stay together. Victoria answers the phone and
answers the question of if she likes cats. Victoria hears animals in the background and thinks
that maybe Ted will buy her an animal. Victoria decides to get one of the window dresses for Lily
to try on when Lily comes out in another hideous dress. Lily and Robin talk about Robin not
liking Victoria and Lily advises her to stop being so mean.
Victoria shows up with a great dress and Lily rushes off to try on the dress. Victoria tells
Robin that she wanted to be an independent woman, but she is now thinking that she will settle
down. Robin talks to Victoria and after the conversation, Victoria thanks Robin for her friendship.
Victoria decides to stay right before Lily walks out in the most beautiful dress. Lily asks Robin
to look at the price and it is so far out of her price range. Lily accidentally sits on the cake that
they were eating, but she doesnt know it until Robin tells her. Victoria tells her to not worry, but
then Lily rips the dress. That is the moment that the lady from the dress shop shows up and
asks her how she will be paying for the dress. At the restaurant, Victoria offers Ted the cupcake
and hears that he wants her to stay. Victoria tells him that she is leaving.
They talk about Victorias decision and that she realized that they have not spent enough time
together. They start arguing when Ted asks Robin to give up her dreams for him, but he is not
willing to move to Germany to sacrifice for her. They decide to break up.
Marshall and Ted talk in the apartment and Marshall is posing in his new suit while Ted
is complaining about his break-up. Marshall reminds Ted that they still have one more night
together. Ted meets up with Victoria at the bar and tells her that they can still spend the night
together before she leaves. Victoria is not sure, so Ted offers her some suggests and she decides
to go for it.
Older Ted: And kids, thats exactly what we did with our last day. The museum, the bridge,
the restaurant, and all of those nice things. But, in reality, it shows them in bed together. Robin
tells Lily that she has to tell Marshall about the dress and how much it cost, but she doesnt want
to tell him about it. Marshall and Barney are in the bar and Marshall is posing in his new suit.
They go to sit down with the girls and Marshall brings them big beers since they are celebrating.
Barney asks about working at his office and then gives him the bill for the suit, which is $4,000.
Marshall realizes that Barney set him and Barney agrees with him.
Marshall still doesnt want to work with Barney, but Lily tells him that she destroyed an
$8,000 dress so Marshall takes the job with Barney. Ted and Victoria say good-bye in the airport.
Ted asks Victoria to try long-distance and Victoria agrees. Older Ted: It didnt work. Long-
distance was and is a terrible idea. A really terrible idea. Just awful, but more on that later.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Life Among the Gorillas


Season 1
Episode Number: 17
Season Episode: 17

Originally aired: Monday March 20, 2006


Writer: Craig Thomas, Carter Bays
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen),
Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Taran Killam (Blauman), Bryan Callen
(Bilson)
Guest Stars: Tyler Peterson (Young Marshall), Diane Salinger (Dr. Aurelia), Gregor
Manns (Karaoke DJ)
Production Code: 1ALH16
Summary: Marshall interns at the corporation where Barney works and finds that
he is becoming a shallow jerk as he tries to fit in with his Barney-like
coworkers. Meanwhile, Ted feels guilty when he receives several gifts
from Victoria while he hasnt sent her anything.

Marshall gets to his new internship


and Barney introduces him to his new
co-workers in the Legal Department. In-
stantly, the guys from the legal depart-
ment pose a very shallow minded, wom-
anizing, yet, hilarious question to Mar-
shall.
The guys in the legal department begin
to antagonize Marshall and he grows very
unhappy with his coworkers. He goes to
Barney and is told that he needs to con-
form to survive the internship. After Mar-
shall begins to conform to them, he starts
liking them, and acting like them, much
to Lilys dismay.
As this all is going on, Ted is consult-
ing Robin on his relationship woes with
Victoria. Victoria has been in Germany for a while now and hes afraid that shes going to dump
him. On top of that, he feels guilty that she has been sending him great care packages and hes
not been sending him anything. Its rather funny that Robins jealousy starts showing through
in some of her answers. It seems as if she wants Ted and Victoria to break up.
Lilys dismay with Marshall finally comes to a head while the two of them are in a karaoke
bar with Barney and the other guys from the office. Lily tells Marshall that he needs to just be
himself and that it doesnt matter what he can offer to her. She loves him for him.
Eventually, after a long day at work, Robin goes home somewhat depressed and somewhat
thoughtful and calls Ted wanting to know if he wanted to come over. It was 2am......

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Nothing Good Happens After 2 A.M.


Season 1
Episode Number: 18
Season Episode: 18

Originally aired: Monday April 10, 2006


Writer: Carter Bays, Craig Thomas
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky),
Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick
Harris (Barney Stinson)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Ashley Williams (Victoria), Alexis
Denisof (Sandy Rivers)
Guest Stars: George Kee Cheung (Korean Elvis), Lawrence Mandley (Cab Driver #1),
Shaheed Rasheed (Little Boy), Alyssa Shafer (Little Girl #2), Cailey
Blair Jones (Little Girl #1)
Production Code: 1ALH17
Summary: Robin, who is very lonely, asks Ted to come over to her apartment after
2 A.M., but he isnt sure if he wants to go as he has a phone call on
the way over with his friends and has Victoria on his mind.

Previously: Ted meets Victory at his


friends wedding. Robin has feelings for
Ted. Victoria gets a job in Germany. Ted
and Victoria try a long distance relation-
ship. Robin talks to Ted over the phone
about the possible break up of Ted and
Victoria, while shes working. Robin calls
Ted and invites him over (late at night).
Ted starts with a sentence of his
mother: Nothing good ever happens after
2 A.M. (the reference of the title) Its night
in NYC and 2 am. Ted answers his phone.
Its Robin, she invites him over.
twenty hours earlier Robin wakes up in the middle of her five dogs. She gets up and leaves
her apartment.
Robin is referring about her job in Lilys kindergarten She tells them its a cool job. She gets
asked about her love live by the kids. The result is: no fiancee = lesbian? Barney is there too and
enjoys it. He doesnt start to talk about his job, he starts with a magical show and so the kids
love him.
Ted and Robin talk over the phone, while Ted is home and Robin in the TV studio.
Ted is afraid of the future of his relationship with Victoria, because she hasnt called. He
makes jokes about the viewer number of Robins station. The co-anchor sitting beside Robin
(Alexis Denisof) asks her about her love life too. He offers her sex. No involvement, just sex.
When she gets home not even her dogs care for her and so Robin gets depressed and starts
drinking wine. Later that night she sits home alone with her dogs so she calls Ted and invites
him over.
Ted doesnt know what to say. So she invites him for some juice, because she has a new juicer.
So he agrees to go over.
Ted is in the cab and starts to talk to the driver about his situation. He has a girlfriend and
he doesnt want to cheat on her, but shes in Germany and now hes going to visit another girl

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

that he has a crush on. On that the cab driver takes a draft out of his hip flask and offers Ted
one too. Ted is scared and changes the cab immediately.
In the next cab he starts to talk about his problems again, but this time the driver transforms
into Victoria and so he and imaginary Victoria have a conversation about their situation. Ted
calls Marshall about his problem.
Marshall is in a bar with Lily and Barney. Ted asks him about the situation. Marshall tells
him only that he will call back. So Marshall starts discussing this problem with Lily, avoiding
any mention of the fact that Robin is into Ted, but Barney tells them that he already knows that
too. So Barney starts to fight with Marshall, about who is better friends with Ted. Lily enjoys
that.
Ted still talks to imaginary Victoria.
Then Marshall calls back. He tries to stop Ted from going to Robin. Remember: Nothing good
ever happens after 2am. Lily takes the phone and tells Ted that Robin loves him. Ted tells Lily
that hes on his way back home, but in fact he is leaving the cab just outside of Robins house.
Lily is relieved, but Barney disagrees with her. He tells her that she just said to Ted, there is a
girl upstairs who is waiting to sleep with you, you better go home.
On the stairs of Robins house imaginary Victoria sits and waits for Ted.
Upstairs Robin is happy to see Ted and about the vegetables he brought along. She asks him
about the strange days in life. Ted tells her he has at least one in a week. She tells him about
her rough day and that she wanted to see him, only him.
Ted tells Robin that he and Victoria broke up. He invites a story. Robin is relived and smiling.
Shes smiling, so that even Ted takes notice. She defends herself that this is a side effect of her
job.
Back at the bar, a Korean Elvis does karaoke. Marshall is drunk and Lily wants to go home.
She tells them that nothing good ever happens after 2 am. Barney disagrees, because all his
legendary moments occurred after 2 am! The liberty bell incident and almost four-way and
some other things! To convince Lily, Barney invites Korean Elvis to a drink.
Back at Robins place Ted shows Robin, that he has now the same mobile phone like she
has (Motorola V3plus). His phone rings. He goes outside to answer. Its Korean Elvis, but then
Marshall talks to him. Ted tells them that he is at Robins! He also tells them about the lie about
Victoria. Marshall gets angry. Lily talks to Ted. She tells him that he cant get happy with Robin;
because he still has a girlfriend and so the relationship to Robin would be based on a lie. All
agree that Lily is right.
Ted goes back in to Robins apartment. He plans to leave. When hes on the door step they start
kissing, after they hug. They start to make out on the couch. Before they go into her bedroom,
Ted goes into the bathroom - to call Victoria. First he talks to imaginary Victoria again. Imaginary
Victoria tells him that he hasnt enough time to do so. She also tells him that he cant do that:
call one girlfriend out of the next girlfriends bathroom.
Back at the bar, Barney is still trying to convince Marshall and Lily of the good sides of the
late night. Marshall and Lily plan to go home. Then Korean Elvis tells something into Lilys ear
so she kicks him between the legs. Now the night is legendary and Barney was right! Back in
Robins bathroom Ted is convinced that he cant break up now, but he wants to sleep with Robin.
Then Ted realizes that he has Robins phone instead of his own. In the living room Robin is on
the phone, Teds phone. It was Victoria! Robin kicks Ted out.
On his way home Ted really breaks up with Victoria.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Mary the Paralegal


Season 1
Episode Number: 19
Season Episode: 19

Originally aired: Monday April 24, 2006


Writer: Chris Harris (II)
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Alexis Denisof (Sandy Rivers)
Guest Stars: Erinn Bartlett (Mary), Robert Michael Morris (Vampire Lou)
Production Code: 1ALH18
Summary: Robin is nominated to receive an award for a news report, and every-
one needs a date to take to the show. Barney introduces Ted to Mary
as a date that Ted can take to the show. Originally, Ted is opposed
to the idea of just trying to save face in front of Robin, but when she
shows up with a date he changes his mind. Robin asks Mary lots of
questions, and Ted begins to really like Mary, despite her occupation.

Intro Three months ago


In the bar Ted is so happy about
his relationship with Victoria, that he
cant stop telling stories. Lily, Marshall
and Barney are terribly annoyed by this.
Robin walks in with great news as well.
Her story about a singing dog got nom-
inated for the Local Area Media Award
(LAMA). She invites them to the award
banquet, and they only agree because of
the open bar. Ted tells her that he will
bring Victoria, because he thinks shes
perfect and their relationship will con-
tinue forever.
Three months later: today
Ted, Marshall and Barney are drinking beer in the bar again and talking about Victoria.
Marshall tells Ted, that she will be missed tonight. Ted explains that Robin is also still angry
with him for lying to her. Barney summarises the events of the past episode in three sentences.
Although, her and Ted have not spoken in weeks since the incident, Ted was still going to go to
the banquent but now he is thinking about not showing up. Marshall tells him that he has to
show Robin that hes ready to be friends again and Barney tells Ted that bringing an extremely
hot date, would be perfect. Ted doesnt like the idea and where to get a girl in two hours? Barney
thinks about an escort. Ted is shocked and he doesnt want a prostitute.
Marshall and Barney start a small argument about this profession. In the end Barney still
wants to get Ted a hooker. Ted asks Barney if he should just bring her or have sex as well.
Barney agrees to both, but Ted tells him thats illegal. Ted has to admit that he didnt have sex
for 57 days. Barney is shocked. So he comes up with the perfect solution: Mary. She lives with
him in the same building. Ted makes a joke about her and her pimp. Barney doesnt like that
comment and leaves.
In the apartment Robin is styling her hair and asks Lily for advice, but Lily has fallen asleep,
because the naptimes for her kindergarten were cancelled by the school board. Robin asks Lily

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

also if it would be ok, if she brings a date. Lily tells her that everything is ok. Next thing Lily does
is that she calls Marshall and informs him about the fact that Robin will be bringing a date.
So Marshall has to inform Ted about that. Ted thinks its ok. Then Barney walks back in and
tells Ted that it wont be a problem, because he found him a date. He presents Mary to Ted. Mary
is a very beautiful young blond woman. Ted asks Barney what that should be now and Barney
tells him that he found Mary for him. Barney explains him all the positive aspects of his present.
Ted doesnt want to take her, even though he thinks that she looks hot. Meanwhile at the table
Marshall and Mary share the awkward moment of silence. Barney tells Ted that he doesnt have
to take his present worth $500. Ted is surprised about that. Then Robin walks in with her date.
Its her co-anchor from work. So Ted and Marshall have a telepathic conversation about him.
Future Ted starts to explain who this guy is Its Sandy Rivers: The face of Metro News 1. The
channel has such a low budget, that he has to read the local newspapers live as morning show.
Sandy Rivers explains the front page of a newspaper. Ted and Marshall enjoy this show. Then Ted
stands up and puts a paper costume on the TV, so Sandy now has a hat and a huge moustache.
End of explanation When Ted sees Sandy with Robin, he gets angry. Lily joins Marshall, Mary,
Barney and Ted. An awkward moment for Marshall, which he solves with drinking his beer. Then
Robin and her date step by the table. Robin introduces Sandy to Ted and Ted introduces Mary
as his date.
At the LAMA event, the host walks on the stage: its vampire Lou. He gives a speech. Marshall
likes that guy, and Ted still cant believe that hes on a date with a prostitute. Mary and Lily
meanwhile are of the bathroom. When they come back, they can stop their discussion just in
time.
Lily gets cranky when she sees vampire Lou and is rude to Sandy. She explains that she is just
tired. Barney tells her to get a job at a private school to make more money. Lily tells him that she
doesnt care about the money unlike him and her fiancee. Lily thinks that to give up everything
just for money would make her: Mary cuts her of - a prostitute. Ted is horrified about his secret.
When Robin asks Mary what she does for living, Barney tells Robin, Sandy and Lily that Mary
is a paralegal who used to work at his office and Mary agrees. Ted tries to communicate with
Barney, but its nothing serious. Robin asks what it means to be a paralegal and Mary explains
her office work. She also names her firm where she works and Marshall recognises the name
and congratulates her that this is a real law firm. Ted and Mary start to flirt, a thing Mary
encourages.As the night goes on Ted gets to know Mary more, he opens up and warms up to her.
He finds her funny and very nice. Ted (still thinking Mary is a prostitute) tells her straight out
that he thinks that she looks hot. Robin steps in and tells Mary to watch Ted every single second.
So Ted starts a conversation with Sandy about the show where Sandy reads the morning papers.
Ted makes a joke about it, so Robin is annoyed with Ted. Then Mary starts talking to Ted again
and makes a joke about Sandys hair Robin looks jealous over the table.
Later that night: Ted admits that Mary is a really great girl - despite the fact what she does
for her living. Robins is alone at the bar, so Ted talks to her and tries to become friends again.
They get into an argument. Sandy tells Robin that he likes Ted. Back at the table Ted still tells
Mary how awesome she looks and tells her that his firm did the remodeling and the rooms look
just great. She tells him that its a sad fact, that they dont have a room. Barney hands them over
the key for room 1506 and tells them not to use the minibar. Mary thinks its cool and Ted sees
himself forced into a position he doesnt like.
Ted and Barney discuss this at the bar while they get a drink. Marshall joins them. Marshall
tells Ted that he cant go on with this and that he has placed small items into Sandys hair and
Sandy still hasnt felt anything. Ted tells him that he wont do it, even if its a shame, because of
the attractive girl.
Then vampire Lou starts to read the nominations for Robins category. Robin wins the award!
She gives a short speech. She thanks all her friends: Lily, Marshall, Barney and Sandy. She
leaves out Ted out on purpose. Back at the table Robin asks Sandy if they should get a cab. Ted
asks Mary if they should go upstairs in their room. Marshall and Ted have another telepathic
conversation. Marshall tires to stop Ted, when Lily clinks in and asks Marshall whats up. Ted
and Mary leave as well as Sandy and Robin. Sandy has several cocktail umbrellas in his hair. In
the elevator Ted asks Mary about her and Barney. She tells him that theres not enough money
in the world.
At the table Marshall just confirms with Barney that Ted and Mary really went upstairs, when

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Robin comes back. She tells them that she put Sandy in a cab and she only brought him with to
make Ted jealous. So Marshall tells her that now Ted is off trying to make her jealous. Robin is
disappointed. So Marshall starts a telepathic conversation with Lily whos asleep at his shoulder.
He tells her that Mary is a prostitute. Lily wakes up and asks Marshall out lout, if Mary is really
a prostitute. Marshall tells that Barney paid for her. Marshall explains everything. Robin and
Lily are shocked. Barney thinks its funny and starts his announcing. He gives an envelope to
vampire Lou, so he can make the big announcement. So Lou starts reading, that Mary isnt a
prostitute! Everyone is surprised. Barney tells them that shes really a paralegal. For him the
best part is that she doesnt know that Ted thinks shes a prostitute.
Upstairs Ted and Mary walk out the lift and Ted explains that he feels like Richard Gere. Ted
tells her that he never was on a date.
She is irritated and tells him that she dates since she was 15. He is irritated; because he
still understands the term date means go out with a suitor. Ted thinks that this is horrible,
because she was just a kid back then. So Ted wants to have a few drinks first. Mary agrees,
because she had clients ride her all day long. Mary opens the door to their room. A few lines
Mary talks about her work, Ted misunderstands completely so he tries to back off. Ted tells her
that he likes her a lot, but he cant do this because shes a prostitute! She doesnt understand.
She doesnt understand and tells him that she is a paralegal! Ted insults her by saying that shes
hooker! She gets upset and leaves him. When Ted realises that shes not a prostitute, we cut
back to the bar where Barney starts to laugh.
Back at the bar (apparently one day later). Ted thinks that this was not funny. Ted complains
to Barney about the whole thing.
Barney tells Ted, that with the confidence he had about the thing with Mary, he could get
her to a hotel room on the first date. So he should be that confident with every girl! Marshall
agrees to that. Ted asks Barney, if he should treat every woman like a prostitute, because Mary
slapped him. Ted stand up and says good bye, because he never checked out of that expensive
hotel room, Barney paid for, so he will enjoy he wellness program there a bit further. In the end,
Robin and Ted are still not speaking to each other.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Best Prom Ever


Season 1
Episode Number: 20
Season Episode: 20

Originally aired: Monday May 1, 2006


Writer: Ira Ungerleider
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: David Burtka (Scooter), Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Keith Slettedahl (Keith), Brent Tarnol (Andrew), Ira Ungerleider (Mr.
Corker), Richard Brown (Mr. Corke), John Reha (Sean), Alek Friedman
(Todd Epstein), Brett Jones (Security Guard Don), Michael P. Owen
(Security Guard Ray)
Production Code: 1ALH19
Summary: Lily, Barney, and Robin attend a high school prom to scout out a po-
tential band for Lily and Marshalls wedding reception. In order to get
in, Lily and Robin pretend to be the dates of two kids who were go-
ing alone. Ted and Marshall are back at the apartment where they are
preparing the invitations to be sent out.

Lily and Marshall run down the street.


They just found out 20 minutes ago, that
the Ben Smood house would be available
for their wedding. Its their dream, but
usually its never available. The problem:
It has only one open spot in exactly two
months. Thats not enough time for Lily
to plan and organise the wedding. Lily
feels sick when she thinks about those
two months. Marshall tells her that Todd
and Valerie are already on their way with
the deposit check.
Another couple runs down the street,
apparently Todd and Valery Todd and
Valarie are the couple with the same
taste, but are always one step ahead, a
typical fact of every wedding how Ted ex-
plains to his kids. So Lily and Marhall are forced to move as well. Both run off, he out of the
apartment, she out of Kindergarten Marshall takes Lily on his shoulder, when they run into their
rivals Todd and Valerie. All four enter a building and the elevator.
In the last moment Marshall and Lily step out selecting all floors and stops and they take the
stairways. This leaves Todd and Valerie stuck on an elevator that will take forever to reach the
floor they were headed to.
Back at the bar Marshall and Lily inform their friends about the wedding date. Robin and
Ted ask how they will organize everything in this short amount of time. Lily tries to give Ted and
Robin a task, but then all remember the evening Ted lied about Victoria and that Robin is still
mad about that. So Robin has to go alone to the florist and Ted has to look for the invitaton
cards. Barney asks what he has to do. Lily has only one thing: He should not sleep with anyone
related to her, but Barney tells her, that he cant promise anything.

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Back at the apartment Lily has fallen asleep, when Marshall and Ted come home. When she
wakes up she freaks out, because they dont have a band. Marshall tells her that he knows the
perfect band: The 88s. Ted likes them too, but Lily wants a band she saw before the wedding.
The problem: The band doesnt audition and will only hold the date till Monday. Marshall has to
check, if they have a gig on the weekend. Meanwhile Ted asks Lily if she isnt overreacting over
the band. She tells him that she got only nine weeks and Ted should not even think of stepping
in her way. Barney enters and has found the perfect caterer, but Lily already has a caterer.
Marshall just found out that the band has a gig at a high school prom in New Jersey. So Lily
and Marshall call the school if they could visit the prom as well, but the school doesnt allow it.
They say that you either have to be a student of the school or a date of a student at the school.
Barney tells them, that they should sneek in. Lily agrees.
At the bar they all discuss the plan to crash the prom. The girls are afraid that they dont look
young enough, but Barney calms them down. When Ted asks if he should come as well, Robin
tells him that only the girls should go. So Ted and Marshall plan a guys night out. Barney jokes
about the guys plan, but wants to be part of it as well.
Back at the apartment Lily and Robin have dressed up, but Barney tells them, that they look
horrible - way to . He tells them that the schoolgirls dress like strippers since people like Paris
Hilton, Lindsay Lohand and Ashlee Simpson became popular. Lily and Robin agree, because they
have to get in. So the motto is now: Dress like a whore! In the bedroom Robin has to face the fact
that her wardrobe just isnt slutty enough and is proud of that fact. Lily finds her actual prom
dress and it induces a flashback.
Flashback to 1996: Lilys prom Lily dances with her boyfriend, who tells her how beautiful
she looks. The first thing we notice about Lily is her straight dark hair. She doesnt like those
compliments, she doesnt like his plans for their future.
end of flashback Marshall takes a picture of the girls with Barney. Then Barney surprises
them with two corsages. So Robins starts to cry just a bit, because she never went to a prom
before.
When the three are gone, Marshall surprises Ted with his plans for the evening: He promised
Lily to stuff all 200 wedding invitations.
At the prom, the three are surprised by the metal detectors and the security guards. Lily tries
to get in by pretending to be a schoolgirl, but she gets rejected by the security staff and even the
principal tells her that this prom is only for students, faculty members and their dates. While
Barney is plaining to climb in Robin walks over to some students waiting outside alone. She asks
them if they would like them as dates. The two boys first reject the offer, because they think they
have to pay. When Robin tells them, that it isnt like that, because they just want to get in. So the
two boys are so happy about this miracle, they dont ask any questions. Barney is left outside
alone, but tells the security guard and the women that he will get in.
Inside Lily immediately goes to the band. Meanwhile one of the boys offers Robin a drink, she
accepts, but its not even alcohol. He tells her they couldnt get some because he miscalculated
the age on his ID. Robin tells them, that they will have a hard life: being a nerd and bad in math.
Meanwhile Lily tries to get the band to play her song, so she could decide if she wants to hire the
band. The front man tells her that hes too wasted to think right now.
In the apartment Ted and Marshall are still handling the wedding invitations. Ted thinks its
pathetic. Ted asks Marshall if he would hold his back in a bar fight, since they cant get in one.
Marshall says yes. Ted tells Marshall that he would do the same, but Marshall declines this help.
Robin calls Marshall, because he has to get the sheet music for her song and bring it as fast as
possible. Marshall asks Robin, if he can bring Ted. Ted is upset and Robin hasnt an answer.
While Robin talks at the prom, Barney climbs in a window there, but the security guards already
waiting for him. Robin then decides, he can bring Ted when theres no other way. Diplomatic as
Marshall is, he tells Ted that Robin wants to see him.
Robin gets back to Lily, whos struggling again, because everything is moving too fast. Its the
same thing like she felt back at her own prom.
Flashback to the prom Lily tells her boyfriend that everything is moving to fast for her. He
doesnt understand and tells her again how he has planed out their entire life from now to
eternity. She breaks up with him. She wants to do so much without him. She explains to him
that she only dated him, because he looks like Kurt Cobain. She just feels to much pressure.
End of Flashback The two boys ask for the dance the women promised to them.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Lily asks her dance partner what he plans for his life. After he told her his big plan, Lily tells
him that he will accomplish nothing of that. Robins dance partner vomits over her dress. Ted
and Marshall enter, when a giant turtle mascot starts to speak to them and asking them how
they got in. In the turtle its Barney. So he could get in. Ted tells him that they just used the
backdoor.
Meanwhile Marshall starts to look for Lily. He asks the two boys if they have seen her. They
realize the big picture and attack Marshall, so Ted jumps them.
In the bathroom Lily and Robin talk about Lilys second thoughts about her wedding. She is
sure about Marshall, but not about her self. She remembers how she was 10 years ago.
Flashback again Lily is unpacking her stuff in her dorm in collage. She explains all her big
dreams. She tells all those things the her new next door neighbor: Marshall.
End of Flashback Back in the bathroom Lily complains that she didnt acomplish any of the
goals she set out for herself. She didnt travel Europe, didnt taste the life as painter, didnt have
her lesbian experience. Robin tells her that Marshall is worth anything. Then she kisses Lily, so
she has at least had her lesbian expirence before she gets married.
Outside the prom, the security guards explain to Ted, Marhall and Barney why they are kicked
out. Marshall needs to get back in, so Barney steps up and does takes the turtle head out of the
security gurads hands and runs off. The two guards immediately start to chase him, so Ted and
Marshall can enter again.
Inside the band starts to play the song. Lily and Marshall start to dance. Even Robin and Ted
start do dance. Outside Barney explains to the two boys, how to get the best service at a strip
club. Inside Marshall convices Lily of the band. Hes really happy, but she still is afraid of their
wedding.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Milk
Season 1
Episode Number: 21
Season Episode: 21

Originally aired: Monday May 8, 2006


Writer: Craig Thomas, Carter Bays
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stin-
son), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: Charlene Amoia (Wendy), Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Eric Allan Kramer (Bob Rorschach), Nate Torrence (Clark Butterfield),
America Olivo (Beautiful Woman), Brenda Isaacs-Booth (Tracy)
Production Code: 1ALH20
Summary: When a matchmaking company calls Ted claiming they have found
his soul mate, he is forced to postpone his date when Lily asks for his
help.

When Lilys car breaks down on the


way to a secret appointment, Ted changes
a very important date to come to Lilys
rescue. However, Lily drives off after con-
fidentially telling him that she is on her
way to an interview for a summer arts
program that would derail her wedding.
After Lily drives off, Ted is stranded
and looking for anyone to come pick him
up and get to his date on time. Robin
comes to rescue Ted and Ted makes it to
his date on time.
Despite Teds input, Lily decides that
she must go through with the interview or she will always wonder what could have been.
Due to the conversation that Ted had with Lily he realizes the same goes for him and Robin.
He never will know what could have been unless he acts on it.
In the midst of all of that, Barney has added Marshall to his comical feud between himself
and his across the street rival, Butterfield.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Come On
Season 1
Episode Number: 22
Season Episode: 22

Originally aired: Monday May 15, 2006


Writer: Carter Bays, Craig Thomas
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: Alexis Denisof (Sandy Rivers), Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Suzanne Ford (Vet), Mark Gagliardi (Quartet Leader), Robert Michael
Morris (Weatherman), Amy Acker (Penelope)
Production Code: 1ALH21
Summary: Ted tries to keep Robin from going on a camping trip so that she can
spend time with him. Barney enlists the help of an old flame to perform
a rain dance. At the same time Marshall finds out about Lilys interview
for the fellowship in San Francisco.

Marshall and Lily end up in a very


heated argument after Marshall finds out
that Lily is looking into a summer pro-
gram that could interrupt their wedding
plans.
After Robin shoots Ted down for his
supposed last attempt at her, of a string
quartet and roses, he comes up with one
last plan.
Much to Teds dismay, Robin is plan-
ning a weekend trip with her coworker,
Sandy Rivers. Ted feels the need to inter-
vene and try to win Robins heart one last time, so he enlists Barneys help to track down Pene-
lope, an old flame who studies Native American culture, who teaches Ted how to perform a rain
dance.
After what appears to be many hours, the skies open up and the rain washes away the
camping trip. Ted races over to Robins apartment to give things one last shot. This time, Ted is
successful.
Upon Teds joyous return to the apartment the next morning, Ted discovers Marshall sitting
on the steps outside of their apartment with Lilys engagement ring in his hand, with it being
very apparent that Marshall and Lily have either broken up or delayed wedding.

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56
Season Two
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Where Were We?


Season 2
Episode Number: 23
Season Episode: 1

Originally aired: Monday September 18, 2006


Writer: Carter Bays, Craig Thomas
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: Lyndsy Fonseca (Daughter), David Henrie (Son), Bob Saget (Voice of
Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: George Clinton (Himself), Gilbert John (Joey Adalian), Jenae Altschwa-
ger (Sunshine), Joey Diaz (Angry New Yorker)
Production Code: 2ALH01
Summary: The gang tries to help Marshall get over Lily, especially when he finds
a credit card bill that leads to a hotel in New York City where some of
her charges are listed.

Ted and Robin are happy together and


Marshall is a wreck. Barney cant stand
the new love or the eternal misery of any
of them. Ted is ripping on Lily for leav-
ing and when Robin protests that Lily is
not a horrible person Ted realizes hes in
trouble and says that he likes her eyes
and they start making out. Barney takes
Marshall to see strippers with the theory
that Marshalls memory is full of images
of Lilys breasts and that he wont be able
to get over her until he overwrites those
images with images of other womens breasts. It doesnt work. Robin takes Marshall out to a
shooting galley and teaches him to shoot. It cheers Marshall up a little and Robin makes Mar-
shall promise not to tell Ted that she goes there because Ted doesnt like guns. Marshall is
cheered up for a little while and Ted congatulates her. Ted tries to take Robin away for the week-
end but it doesnt work because Marshall finds Lilys credit card bills and they have to come
home. Marshall fantasizes that Lily is hanging out with George Clinton and a ferret and that
shes plays tennis with George Clinton. According to Marshall, Lily wouldnt play tennis with him
no matter how much he asked and Marshall is afraid of ferrets because they are like big, long
rats. Marshall sees that hotel charges were made in NYC with Lilys card and he goes to see her.
A man opens the door and Marshall punches him and runs away. Turns out that the man had
stolen Lilys identity and many other peoples and he was put in jail. Ted finds Marshall in the
hotel bar where he is getting drunk. Ted tries to remind Marshall that he is somebody without
Lily and Marshall resolves that from that moment on hed be okay. In the morning he wasnt.
67 days after Lily left he was and he served Ted and Robin some horrible pancakes. Barney,
Ted, Robin, and Marshall went to the bar to hang out that night. Lily showed up at the window
outside and she saw them through it. Then she turned around and left.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

The Scorpion and the Toad


Season 2
Episode Number: 24
Season Episode: 2

Originally aired: Monday September 25, 2006


Writer: Chris Harris (II)
Director: Rob Greenberg
Show Stars: Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Josh Wingate (Mike), Nicole Garza (Jenny), Sundeep Ahuja (Dan), Ken
Cosby (Cab Driver), Barry Finkel (Crazy Man), Diane Mizota (Woman),
Lee Warren Jones (Waiter), Kelly Mullis (Paula), Lara Boyd Rhodes
(Amy), Richard Wharton (Art Professor), Natalie Garza (Jesse)
Production Code: 2ALH02
Summary: Barney works with Marshall on his bachelor skills, which include hit-
ting on women. Lily is back from her venture. Robin helps her look for
a new apartment but gets sick of hearing about San Francisco.

Old Ted tells us how Marshall and


Lily were together for nine years until she
dumped him to go to San Francisco. The
healing process was long until the night
they had a major breakthrough. In the
present the gang minus Lily are in the
bar. Robin has to go and Ted goes to
walk her out. Marshall watches as they
walk away and Barney realizes Marshalls
checking out Robins ass. Marshall de-
nies it but Barney declares its awesome
and tells Ted when he rejoins them. Ted
also thinks its awesome and Barney says now he can teach Marshall how to live. He tells Mar-
shall its like being in a candy store and they spend the next hour making candy-for-boobs puns,
like whoppers, mounds, gobstoppers, double bubbles. Barney refuses to take no for answer, so
Marshall reluctantly agrees. Ted calls Robin to Marshalls chagrin and tells her Marshall checked
out her ass. Robin is almost to her apartment door and tells Ted to thank Marshall as she felt
like her ass was having an off day. She turns and sees Lily. Lily adds it is a great ass. Old Ted
tells us how no one had seen Lily in three months and there were so many unanswered questions
and things to say. Robin chooses to compliment Lily on her longer, straighter, darker hair.
Barney meanwhile takes Marshall out to meet women for the first time since he was seventeen.
He taps a girl on the shoulder and says Haaaaaaaaave you met Marshall? Marshall is very
nervous and all he can talk about is how sweaty his hands are. He starts to walk away but Barney
stops him and asks the girl if she likes magic. He impresses her with a magic trick and continues
to talk Marshall up. The next day, Barney tells Marshall how awesome he was with the girl and
Marshall reminds Barney he went home with her. Barney is proud of this but adds the girl told
him if not for him Marshall wouldve had a shot with her. This means Marshall hypothetically
scored and Barney calls for a hypothetical high five. Marshall just glares at him which Barney
accepts and adds tonight theyll go back to the bar and hell teach him his strategies. Marshall
again reluctantly agrees.
Robin shows up at the apartment and both her and Ted are bursting to tell the other some-
thing. Ted has found a 1939 penny on the subway, and Robin has seen Lily. She tells Ted she

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

went apartment hunting with her and Ted asks how shes doing but Robin tells him he wont
like it. Early when apartment hunting Lily tells Robin shes doing great and it was the best deci-
sion to go to San Francisco and shes very happy. Ted is furious Lilys happy and that she told
Robin how the teacher in her art class fawned over her work. Lily told Robin the best part about
San Francisco was the people and riding around on the bus was like being part of a human
tapestry. Ted is pissed beyond words and thinks Lily shouldve come back devastated after what
she did to Marshall. He rants about unbelievable she is and Marshall comes in and asks whats
unbelievable. Ted starts to tell him but Robin interrupts with the news of the penny Ted found.
Marshall goes into his room and Robin tells Ted they cant tell Marshall because hes just start-
ing to get better and he cant know Lilys moved on. Ted is surprised shes moved on but Robin
tells him shes fallen out of love faster than that before. This worries Ted but Robin assures him
theyre great.
In the bar Barney is reviewing with Marshall his rules for mating without dating. Marshall
plans to make a girl feel insecure so shell be into him but he tries on a girl at the bar and ends
up immediately apologizing but the girl introduces herself anyway.
Barney comes up behind him and Marshall introduces her to Barney. Barney asks if she likes
magic.
The next day Marshall and Barney are on the couch and Barney apologizes for snaking the
girl again and Marshall is mad Barney took his candy. He doesnt want to go out with Barney
again but Barney tells him tonight theyll go to a college bar where Marshall will seem more
mature and worldly. Marshall agrees but adds Barney cant do magic.
Meanwhile Ted and Robin are apartment hunting with Lily. Lily says she wants to chase her
passion which used to be painting but now the skys the limit. She seems in a great mood and
goes to get the key. Ted tells Robin shes really miserable. Robin protests he just wants Lily to be
miserable but shes really happy. Ted tells Robin he knows Lily better and they can get the truth
out of her with tequila. Lily comes back and opens the apartment but decides against it.
Barney enters the apartment to get Marshall and Marshall to empty his pockets and sleeves.
Barney takes out his cards, handcuffs, colorful scarves, and the coin behind Marshalls ear.
In a college bar Marshall is chatting up a pretty law student while Barney strikes out with
coeds. The pretty girl is about to leave and tries to get Marshall to ask her out but he doesnt
budge. Barney approaches and has her give her number to Marshall. In the cab, Marshall is
ecstatic to have gotten her number but Barney tells him hes taking this one too. Marshall
screams hell kill Barney and leaps over to throttle him.
In Robins apartment, Lily is still talking about her summer than asks how Robin and Ted
are doing, and Marshall. Ted tells her theyre all good and Lilys phone rings and she goes into
another room to take the call. Ted admits its not working and Lily is actually happy. Lily comes
back in and says she waited too long and someone else got the apartment. She sits on the couch
and starts to cry. Ted asks if shes upset about something else and Lily tearfully admits the
apartment is a metaphor for Marshall.
The next day, Lily and Ted are very hungover while out to eat with Robin. Robin is still a little
drunk and Ted asks Lily why it took her two days to ask about Marshall. Lily admits she was
trying to play it cool and really all she could think about was Marshall. Her summer was really
awful and she couldnt wait to get back to the city and in reality her art teacher was appalled at
how bad her work was and all the interesting people she met on the bus were one crazy guy. She
never got in touch because she was too ashamed and she screwed everything up and she has no
job, no place to live and she lost the love of her life. Ted tells her Marshall would take her back
but it almost killed him when she left and to stay away from him unless shes absolutely sure.
Marshall is in the bar when Barnye joins him and Marshall tells him to go away. Barney
admits it was morally grey for him to snake the girl and Marshall hes no good at this anyhow.
Hes good at being in a couple or being Lilys boyfriend but he sucks at being single. Barney
tells Marshall theres a way for him to have a do-over with the coed because she has a twin
sister. Barney adds they can go on a double date. On the double date with the twins, Barney
tells Marshall hes going home with both of them. Marshall is appalled and reminds Barney he
said being single was like being in a candy store and Barney admits its a lawless apocolyptic
wasteland where its every man for himself. Marshall stalks out of the bar and Barney rejoins the
twins. Marshall goes outside and sees Lily. Lily tells him San Francisco was a mistake and shes
sorry and Marshall tells her this was the worst summer of his life and Lily says it was also the

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

worst of hers. Lily asks if they can get back together and Marshall tells her when she said they
needed to figure out who they were on their own broke his heart, but it was also right. They cant
get back together, at least not now. He tells her he likes her hair and they start to talk.
Lily and Marshall are sitting on the steps and she rants about everything wrong with San
Francisco. She asks if theres anything she can do to try and make up for it and he says there
is one thing but she cant ask him why. Lily goes inside where Barney is still with the twins
and yells that he gave her clamydia and throws a drink in his face. Barney ignores it until she
comes back in with a hat on and yells he gave her twin sister clamydia and slaps him and throws
another drink in his face. The twins get up and leave.
Barney says, Well played, Eriksen. Well played.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Brunch
Season 2
Episode Number: 25
Season Episode: 3

Originally aired: Monday October 2, 2006


Writer: Stephen Lloyd
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: Charlene Amoia (Wendy), Cristine Rose (Virginia Mosby), Michael
Gross (Alfred Mosby), Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Noel True (Waitress)
Production Code: 2ALH03
Summary: Teds parents visit New York for their anniversary, and he learns a
family secret, while Robin worries that they wont like her. Lily and
Marshall try to adjust to the new format of their relationship now that
they are no longer together.

The episode starts off with future Ted


telling his children to remember a photo
they have in the den. The photo is of
he, his parents and his friends having
brunch. It seems like a nice photo, a nice
time, but it really wasnt.
We flash back to the photo, and the
brunch. Marshall and Lily are wishing
eachothers eyeballs and faces melt off.
Ted is telling Marshall how upset he is
at someone he refers to as him. Robin
is telling Teds mother to tell the truth or
she will.
Since there are 3 parts of the story, Future Ted decides to tell the story one part at time.
The Marshall and Lily Part In the apartment living room Ted explains that for his parents
30th anniversary he flew them into New York. Lily is at the apartment picking up her belongings.
It is the second time theyve seen each other since the wedding was called off, and they seemed
to taking it fine. Teds parents invite Lily dinner at Casa Di Pezzi, but Lily says she doesnt want
to go if Marshall doesnt want her there. Marshall says its, fine, its like theyre friends, like theyre
brother and sister, this upsets Lily.
At Casa Di Pezzi Everyone is already seated, except Lily who comes in wearing a very nice,
tight fitting, low cut, cocktail dress. The dress catches the attention of Marshall, who is sitting
right next to her. Lily is explaining yoga breath exercise, and Marshall cannot take his eyes of
her Next morning in the Living room Marshall is telling Barney that Lily is evil and that she wore
that dress on purpose. He plans to turn the tables back at Lily during brunch by exposing his
calves to Lily, apparently Lilys weak spot.
At brunch Everyone is already seated, except Marshall who walks in and sits next to Lily. He
then starts speaking about how hot it is, and zips off the lower part of his pants, which turns his
pants into shorts. He then starts massaging his calves to the enjoyment of Lily.
Bathroom at the brunch restaurant We see Lily and Marshall making out, he tells her to take
off her dress, she tells him to take off the rest of his pants Brunch table We see Lily and Marshall
walking back to the table, fixing their clothes. They then start arguing about who was trying to
seduce who first.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

The Barney Part In the apartment Ted is explaining how it is Robins first time meeting his
parents, while Barney is flabbergasted that Ted has never mentioned him to his parents. Teds
parents arrive, and before Ted gets a chance to introduce Robin, Barney charms his way in and
makes everyone laugh. Robin explains that she has made reservations at San Marino. Barney
scoffs at it, and tells them they should eat at Casa Di Pezzi, and upshows Robin.
At Casa Di Pezzi Barney is playing cal piano, after he finishes the table applauds. It turns
out he was playing Teds mothers favorite sonata, and Barney continues to kiss up. He asks if
anyone wants to go to the bar. Teds father volunteers to go, while Teds mom declines, as she
has early mass tomorrow. Barney tells her to go to St Peters at 8:45, and that hell save her a
seat.
Next morning in the apartment Barney walks in and tells Ted that he is very ticked off at Teds
dad.
Flashback to last night at MacLaurens Barney, and Teds father are speaking to a woman
named Wendy. Teds father is telling her a story of how Barney saved his life in a burning
building. The woman is touched by the story, calling him a hero, while Teds father urges her to
give him a hug.
Flashforward to the apartment Ted cant believe that his father was Barneys Wingman. Bar-
ney explains that Teds father stayed behind to finish his drink, while Barney left early because
he had mass the next morning with Teds mom.
Flashback to MacLaurens Barney forgets his phone and comes back into the bar, to see Teds
father making out with Wendy. He then takes a photo of the two making out.
Flashforward to the apartment Barney shows Ted the photo, and Ted cannot believe it. Teds
father comes over, and Ted asks to speak to him outside. Ted asks him if he had a fun time last
night, and his father answers yes. Ted is about to ask his father about Wendy, but chickens out
and asks a baseball related question.
At brunch Ted explains to Barney how he wanted to confront his father, he just couldnt.
The Me and Robin Part At the apartment We see Ted and Robin before the parents or Barney
arrives. Ted is telling Robin how his mother tends to grill every girlfriend hes ever had about
marriage and kids, and when its going to happen. Robin freaks out since she doesnt want either
of those, and they both decide its best to lie.
At Casa Di Pezzi Virgina starts talking about Teds cousin Stacy who is pregnant again. Virgina
asks Robin about being a journalist, however, Robin thinks shes asking about when theyre going
to have children and automatically answers that shes just not ready yet. She then answers the
journalism question, and says its great. Virgina then goes encouraging her to follow her career,
and that there is time for marriage and kids later.
The next morning at the apartment Ted tells Robin what a relief it is that his mom didnt grill
her about marriage and kids. Robin instead, thinks that Virgina doesnt want her to have Teds
kids.
At brunch Virgina comments to Robin about how sweet their waitress is, and Robin replies by
saying that the waitress should have Teds kids.
And storms off. Virgina follows her and asks her whats wrong, and Robin explains to her that
she wants her to want her to have Teds kids. Virginia explains that she doesnt want anyone to
be pressured and make the mistake of getting married too young. Virgina then says that she has
something to tell Robin that not one really knows.
At the table We just see everyone take the group photo, and repeat the same lines at the
begining of the episode. Ted is upset with his fater, Robin wants Virgina to tell the truth, and
Marshall and Lily wishing bad things to each other. Virgina accidentally knocks over a waitress
and her dishes and Teds father jumps up to help her, and calls her sweet heart. Ted jumps
up and loses it, screaming that the only person his father should be calling sweetheart is his
mother, not the waitress last night, or the waitress today. He then tells his father to tell his
mom what happened. Teds father explains that he hooked up with a waitress, and Virginas only
response, Oh. Ted is confused why his mother isnt more upset. Robin encourages Virgina to
tell the truth. Teds parents tell him that theyre divorced for about 10 months, but were already
seperated for 2 years. They also reveal that Virgina is dating a man named Frank, who used to
be Teds orthodontist. Ted cant believe his ears, and walks off. His parents and Robin follow
him leaving Barney, Marshall and Lily at the table. Barney sees no lines at the omelet station

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

and leaves the table. Marshall and Lily apologize to each other about the way theyve been acting
towards each other and decide to keep their distance.
Outside brunch Teds parents apologize for not telling him sooner. Ted cant believe that he
doesnt even know his own parents. Teds father says he met Virgina at a bar. Ted asks what
happened, they used to be so happy. They realized they were different people. His father is a
romantic, while his mother is down to earth. Ted doesnt see why that matters, because him and
Robin are like that, and also have different views on children. Virgina continues and says that
she didnt even want to date him, but finally gave in after he was badgering her for months. Teds
father says that if they dont connect on so many fundamental levels, then its just a matter of
time before they realize they dont belong together. Ted just cant believe it.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Ted Mosby: Architect


Season 2
Episode Number: 26
Season Episode: 4

Originally aired: Monday October 9, 2006


Writer: Kristin Newman
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: Joe Manganiello (Brad), Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Joe Nieves
(Carl)
Guest Stars: Bach Hoang (Manicurist), Ryan OConnor (Chet), Stephen Keys
(Bouncer), Aisha Kabia (Kara), Maria Arce (Paula), Dawn Olivieri
(Anna)
Production Code: 2ALH04
Summary: After Ted and Robins first big fight, Barney tries to convince Ted that
being an architect is an easy in to picking up chicks. Lily and Robin
start following his trail after discovering that Ted hit it off with a girl
named Anna shortly afterward.

Old Ted tells us sometimes a relation-


ship goes so smoothly for so long, you
think itll be that way forever. Hes refer-
ring to him and Robin, who have been
having a good time until Ted joins the
guys at the bar and tells them they had
their first fight. At the same time, Robin
goes into a nail salon and tells Lily the
same thing. Lily asks what they fought
about and takes her headphones out,
while Barney asks Ted what they fought
about and puts his headphones in. Ted
tells them a few months ago his firm got hired to build a skyscraper and if they dont get it, they
could go under. Robin is telling Lily the story and when the head architect reveals its design, it
looks like a penis. The guys cant believe it either and Ted tells them its a seventy-eight story
pink marble tower with a rounded top and two spherical entry ways at the front. Marshall and
Barney start making jokes, but Ted thinks its a travesty and he couldve designed something
much better.
Lily tells Robin even though they had their first fight, it ended well because shes here. Robin
corrects her the fight didnt end at all, she came here because she got bummed out. Robin says
Ted has been complaining about work non-stop for weeks, so when she came over, she was done.
Earlier that day, she went into Teds apartment and asked her about her day. She replied but
didnt ask him about his and when he asks why she says she knows the answer. Ted points out
he listens to her work stories all the time, and Robin says her work stories are interesting. In
the nail salon, Lily cant believe it, but Robin says she knew what Ted was going to say and was
helping him get there faster. Robin says Ted tells the same story over and over compares it to
watching the same movie over and over again, like watching Field of Dreams once is more than
enough. In the bar, Marshall and Barney are listening to the story open-mouthed with shock.
Ted is shocked Robins example of a bad movie is Field of Dreams and Robin says she thinks
its stupid. In the salon, Robin says now Teds all mad about the movie. Lily says hes upset

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

she wouldnt listen to him, not that she didnt like some movie. In the bar,Ted is still appalled
she didnt like Field of Dreams. In the salon, Lily tells Robin listening is the foundation of a
relationship and if hes really droning on, to practice saying the alphabet backwards in case
of getting pulled over for a DUI. Robin says she doesnt know how to do that, as shes never
been in a relationship this serious before. She guesses she should go apologize to Ted, and sees
Lilys concentrating on something. She guesses shes saying the alphabet backwards, and Lily is
perplexed as to what comes before q.
In the bar, the guys are still choked up reminiscing about Field of Dreams. Marshall tells him
to forget about Robin, hes hanging with them tonight and he has an awesome party lined up. Its
the first law school party of the year and Marshall hasnt seen any of his law buddies since he
and Lily broke up, and then adds the party will suck. Ted says he has to get back to his boring
job and Marshall tells him his jobs not boring. Ted says Robin thinks so, and Barney tells him
lots of girls thinks architecture is hot. He makes something out of nothing like God. And theres
no one hotter than God. Ted cant imagine the architect angle working on a girl, and Barney says
anything sounds impressive when said with the right attitude. He says in a mopey voice, Ted
Mosby, architect. In a game show host voice he says, Ted Mosby, architect. Marshall uses the
same voice and says hes recently dumped and heading to a lame party. He puts his arms around
two imaginary hot girls and heads out. Barney leaves with him and that just leaves Ted. He goes
up to a girl at the bar and asks if she thinks architects are cool and she says architects are hot.
She brings up Mr. Brady got Carol and Ted adds she did have hair of gold.
Later, Lily and Robin enter the bar but Carl says Teds left. Robin says she wonder where he
went and a girl asks if shes talking about Ted Mosby, the architect. Robin says she is and the
girl tells her he was here earlier. We see Ted in a booth with the girl he met at the bar and is
impressing her with his architecture. He invites her to the party Marshall went to. That worries
Lily but not Robin who says Ted got to vent and she didnt have to hear it, and maybe hell come
over later and shell get the fun part. Lily laments its like shes teaching love as second language,
and when he picks up a random girl at a bar, shes supposed to freak out.
Robin says in her mind, the girl is fat. The girls friend tells her, Shes a kickboxing instructor.
Her ass looks better than my face. Thats enough for Robin and Lily to swing by the party.
Old Ted tells us the party was for some of Marshalls classmates at Columbia law school. By
day, they were some of the sharpest legal minds in the country, but by night, they were drunk
party animals. Lily and Robin come in and ask a guy about Ted, and he says Ted Mosby, the
architect was here earlier. Earlier that night, Ted is telling the girl from the bar, Anna, nothing is
as good as watching the sun rise over your building. Anna says shed love to watch the sun rise
with him, and Ted says he knows, as its the job. A girl named Kara asks Marshall where Lily is,
and Marshall tells everyone about Lily calling off the wedding, but all his friends just translate it
into legal jargon. Lily tells Robin Marshall is still hung up on their breakup because she listened.
Robin asks the guy how hed describe the girl and he says the girl with the smackable ass.
Anna tells Ted she knows the bouncer at a club and asks if he wants to go and he says does,
despite Robin remembering Ted hates clubs. Ted asks Marshall is he wants to go and he does
and theyre off. Now Robin thinks its bad as dancing leads to sex. Shes going to call him and
apologize and tell him she wants to hear his boring story. He doesnt answer so she calls Marshall
whos in the club and he tells her Teds at work. Robin tells Lily Marshall lied and Teds cheating
on her.
Lily and Robin go to the club and talk to the bouncer who says Ted Mosby, the architect was
here. Earlier that night, Anna and Ted are coming out of the club and Anna tells Ted she lives
across the street and invites him over. He says he should give her a ride home and invites her
to jump on his back which she does. Marshall asks what hes doing and someone could find out
about this and says this isnt him, but Ted says it is tonight. Robin asks where the girl lives
but the bouncer wont tell unless Robin gives him her purse for his girlfriend. He tells her the
building and apartment number of Anna and Lily asks if Robins going to kick her ass, and Robin
says shes also going to steal her purse.
As they walk to the apartment, Robin gripes how many opportunities shes had to cheat since
she started dating Ted. Lily finds the doors unlocked and theyre about to go in when Robin says
shes the problem. She doesnt know how to be a girlfriend and she took the nicest guy in the
world and turned him into a cheater. Lily urges her to go in and they open the door. Annas in
the shower but they see someone in her bed. They charge in only to find not Ted, but Barney in

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

her bed, one his hands tied to the bedpost. As Lily unties him, Robin asks how he got there and
where Ted is, and Barney says Teds at work. He then tells him what happened that night.
Earlier when Ted was talking to Anna at the bar, Barney came back in and Ted told him the
architect angle worked but he had a girlfriend and left to go to work. Barney then tells Anna his
name is Ted Mosby, architect. And everything, the party, the galloping, the club was all Barney
instead of Ted. Barney then tells Lily and Robin he and Anna did it in three different spots in her
apartment. Robin asks he used Teds name and Barney tells her hes had some bad press on the
web and is taking a time out on using his real name. Lily says it wasnt Ted so everythings okay
but Robin says it isnt, as shes acting crazy and jealous and paranoid. Lily tells her this is how
people act in relationships, which is why Robin avoids them. Lily tells her she hasnt been crazy
or jealous or paranoid in months and she really misses it. Barney urges them to leave before she
gets out of the shower and finishes a note he left for Anna and they leave.
Next we see Robin comes to Teds office and brings him coffee. He asks how her night was and
she asks about his and apologizes for earlier. She adds she never saw all of Field of Dreams. Ted
shows her the design for the penis skyscraper and then shows her his own design. Old Ted brings
up when they went to Spokane and he pointed out a skyscraper, which was the first building he
ever designed.
That night was the first time he showed anybody his drawing of it. Robin is blown away. Ted
says its not like it will ever come to anything but Robin says not to lose hope and architects are
very hot.
Anna finds the letter Barney left her explaining hes a ghost and can only rematerialize once
every ten years on the anniversary of his death. However, he signed it Barney, which confuses
her.

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Worlds Greatest Couple


Season 2
Episode Number: 27
Season Episode: 5

Originally aired: Monday October 16, 2006


Writer: Brenda Hsueh
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Joe Manganiello (Brad), Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Aisha Kabia (Kara), Valerie Azlynn (Dawn), Jake Broder (Host), Claudia
Mason (Woman #1)
Production Code: 2ALH06
Summary: Marshall tries to get used to being single in a world that is very
coupled-oriented. Barneys intended one-night-stand wont go away,
and he uses Lily to get out of his horrifying situation.

This episode starts off with future Ted


telling his kids about their Uncle Bar-
ney, and how mysterious he was. None of
them had ever stepped foot into his apart-
ment until one day...
We see Barney wake up in bed with
Lily and he starts screaming which
causes Lily to start screaming.
Future Ted explains that its a good
story, and alcohol had nothing to do with
it.
2 Weeks Earlier at Lilys Housewarm-
ing Lily is welcoming Ted and Robin into
her very cramped apartment. The toilet and bathtub are literally in the kitchen, also her fold
from the wall bed doesnt even fit into her bed room.
McLaurens Ted, Robin and Barney are trying to figure out ways to get Lily out of that apart-
ment. Lily cant stay with Robin because Lilys allergic to dogs, and she cant stay with Ted,
because shes allergic to Marshall. They ask Barney to let her stay there, but Barney says no
way.
Marshall enters asking if anyone would like his spare ticket to the Alanis Morisette show,
which everyone declines. His spare ticket used to be for Lily. He then expresses how much he
misses being in a couple and being able to go out and do couple things, such as brunch. Hes
tried to go eat brunch alone, but the host just laughed at him and caused Marshall to run out.
Barneys Apartment (For those who didnt catch the episode, its mostly black leather and
silver, with a mini golf set in the living room and a life Storm Trooper in the back of the room)
Barney walks in on the phone with his mother (a bookie), and realizes that Lily is sitting on his
couch. She then explains that she would never be there, except that earlier when she was trying
to pull down her folding bed, she ended up pulling down the wall it was connected to, and being
able to look into her neighbors living room.
Lily asks if she can stay, but Barney says he has no room. Lily says that he has more than
enough room, he lives in a 2 bedroom apartment, where one of the beds its just for his suits.
After some talking, Barney finally allows Lily to stay for 2 days, but his rule is that shes not
allowed to change anything.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Ted and Marshalls Apartment Marshall comes home, and Ted and Robin are in the living
room. Hes just come home from the Alanis Morrisette concert with a friend Brad, who was also
recenty dumped.
Flashback to McLaurens Marshall and Brad walk in fresh from the concert and talk about
Brads break up. Marshall invites Brad to brunch.
Back to Ted and Marshalls Apartment Ted and Robin are surprised that Marshall invited a
guy to brunch and make fun of him.
Barneys Apartment Its morning and Lily is making breakfast and hands Barney a plate, he
then in turn, dumps the contents into the trash. Barney is upset that she already broke the
rule of changing things. Barney sees that having food in the fridge, and having hot coffee are
signs of a relationship, something he doesnt want. He then takes Lily on tour of what makes his
apartment tell women that it is a place to leave, not stay.
Barneys Bedroom He tells her that he has a king bed, but a full blanket and one pillow. This
is telling the girl that their work is done.
Barneys Bathroom He has only one towel, and no hairdryers. His toilet also doesnt allow the
seat to stay down, if you put the seat down, it springs back up.
Barneys Hallway Barney shows his bookshelf full of porn, and pushes a button that turns
the lights red, and plays porn type music.
Pop Over Pantry, Brunch Marshall and Brad are having brunch and expressing how much
they love it. Brad then invites Marshall to see Mamma Mia on broadway.
Barneys Bedroom Barney wakes up with a blonde in his bed, who is already awake and
watching him sleep. He asks if the cold kept her up, since he only has a full blanket. But she
says no, shes been watching him sleep. He apologizes that he didnt have enough towels for her if
she tried to shower. She says she doesnt believe in taking showers everyday. He then apologizes
for not having coffee if she wanted anyway. She tells him shes boycotting coffee. She also tells
him that she loves the place, and is happy shes unemployed because she could spend the entire
day there, which freaks Barney out. He takes her to his book shelf and lights up the porn.
Instead of freaking her out, shes happy hes able to display his sexual side, and blurts out that
she loves him. Which is now freaking Barney out, and he backs up into the kitchen.
Lily opens the front door, and starts talking to Barney, but stops when she realizes Barney has
a guest. The blonde sees Lily is assumes she is Barneys wife and starts asking him questions.
At first Barney says no, but realizes the chance he has and says yes.
This way the blonde is finally upset, and leaves his place. Barney is so thrilled with the result,
he tells Lily that shes not going to go anywhere. Barney then explains to her about the crazy
blonde, and asks her to stay and pretend to be his wife for the occasional one night stands. Lily
agrees right away.
McLaurens Ted, Robin and Marshall are at a table, and Ted cannot believe that Brad asked
Marshall to see Mamma Mia. At first Marshall is trying to defend the invite. Ted makes fun
of it and calls it a third date, and Marshall tells them theyre supposed to have dinner before
the show, at Cafe LAmour. Robin and Ted make fun of the entire idea, while Marshall defends
himself and the fact that theyre threatened that a single guy can do couple things.
Barneys Kitchen Hes having an actual breakfast (eggs,toast, coffee), with a brunette. He asks
her to pass the Arts & Liesure part of the newspaper, which is apparently Lilys cue to enter.
She comes in, and says Honey, Im home! She then feigns surprise and anger, and asks Barney
whats going on. They confont each other, Barney saying he could explain, but Lily slaps him
anyway, telling him she cant believe she worked as a stripper to get him through medical school.
The brunette apologizes, and Lily tells her to get out, which she does right away. Once the door
closes, Lily stops, and everything is normal. Barney is amazed at her performance. They both sit
and eat the breakfast. Barney confesses that he actually likes having food around. Lily proposes
that they make the apartment a little more homely as if a woman lived there.
Musical Montage of changing Barneys Apartment Colorful pillows are thrown on the couch.
Barney rolls up his mini golf, and Lily replaces it with a rug.
Lily replaces his life- storm trooper with a plant.
Lily buys fruits and flowers for the kitchen.
Lily takes down half of the porn shelf, and replaces it with actual books.
Ted and Marshalls Apartment Robin and Ted are watching tv, and Marshall comes home.
They make fun of Marshalls date, which at first Marshall denies the date.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

But he then confesses that yes, it was a date, and it got way weird.
Flash back to Cafe LAmour Brad pays for dinner, and Marshall says that that is unnecces-
sary, but Brad insists. Brad tells Marshall he has chocolate on his chin, after Marshall misses
cleaning it off, Brad licks his napkin, and cleans it off for him.
Ted and Marshalls Apartment Ted is totally surprised at that part of information. Marshall
tells them it gets worse.
Flash back to Cafe LAmour Brad is helping Marshall put his suit jacket back on. Brad then
asks Marshall to go to a wedding with him.
Ted and Marshalls Apartment Ted and Robin try to tell him its ok, theyll just be two single
guys on the prowl. Marshall tells them, it gets worse.
Flash back to Cafe LAmour Brad is fixing Marshalls collar, while Marshall is obviously un-
comfortable. He tells Marshall that the wedding is all the way in Vermont, and that theyre
staying at a Bed and Breakfast that he and his ex girlfriend used to frequent. He also tells Mar-
shall that theyll be sharing a room. Marshall looks horrified. Marshall says no, and Brad says
he understands, and starts explaining that this is the first time seeing his college friends since
his girlfriend left him, and starts crying because he misses her. Marshall says hell go with him.
Brad is excited and says they can go half on the wedding gift, he was thinking a gravy boat.
Ted and Marshalls Apartment Ted and Robin cant help but laugh, and Marshall is asking
them if they think Brad is crazy. Ted says hes not crazy, hes just going through girlfriend
withdrawal, and Marshall is there to help. Robin advises Marshall that they need to break up.
Marshall agrees.
Barneys Bedroomn Barney and Lily are making Barneys new bed, with new sheets, pillows
and blankets. Lily jumps into the bed to try out the new sheets, while Barney gets ready to leave.
He asks her what shell be doing, and she says shes just going to stay in and watch tv.
Barney the decides to watch a bit of tv with her.
Next morning, in the NYC streets Marshall is walking down the street to meet up with Brad for
the wedding. He sees Brad waiting on the corner with flowers. Marshall freaks out, and calls Ted
that Brad got him flowers. All Ted and Robin do is laugh, so Marshall hangs up and approaches
Brad. He tells Brad that its not cool that he got him flowers, when a girl comes up to Brad and
says Hi sweetie Brad hands Kara the flowers, and Marshall asks if theyre back together, which
they are. Marshall then looks hurt, and Brad apologizes for not telling him sooner, since Kara will
now be his date to the wedding. Marshall walks away. Kara asks Brad whats up with Marshall,
and Brad says, that he thinks Marshall is in love with him.
Barneys Bedroomn We again see Barney wake up in bed with Lily and he starts screaming
which causes Lily to start screaming. Barney cannot believe that he is in bed with Lily and
that they possibly had sex. But Lily says they didnt, they just fell asleep. Barney says that is
impossible, he does not sleep in the same bed with a woman and not make a move. He blames
her, and says she spooned him against his will, and gets out of bed, freaked out. He tells her
theyve done all these relationship type things, and freaks out even more.
Lily tells him that Barney is just scared of letting people in, and that he shouldnt blame
her. He tells her she has to leave, and Lily starts yelling that he cant just kick her out. And an
argument insues betweent he happy couple and the part their ways In the end, Lily received all
the furnishing they bought for his place to put into hers.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Aldrin Justice
Season 2
Episode Number: 28
Season Episode: 6

Originally aired: Monday October 23, 2006


Writer: Jamie Rhonheimer
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Bryan Cranston (Hammond Druthers), Jane Seymour (Professor
Lewis), Charles Robinson (Bank President), Ewan Chung (Office
Worker)
Production Code: 2ALH05
Summary: Barney seduces Marshalls law professor in hopes of getting her to
grade more leniently. Lily takes a job at Teds office, where she
promptly steals to teach Teds boss a lesson.

Robins Apartment Lily is telling Robin


how shed like to find a job, which she
was passionate about. We see a series
of clips of her announcing different job
ideas, in the meantime shes waiting ta-
bles at a Hawaiian restaurant to pay the
bills.
Big Wave Luau The group is sitting at
a table in the restaurant, and Lily comes
up to take their order not realizing that
the group are her friends, and is not
pleasantly surprised.
McLaurens Marshall is telling Ted, Robin and Barney how difficult this semester is going to
be for him. One of his teachers is the hardest grader hes ever had. Apparently she had a bad
divorce, and is taking it out on the and Marshall thinks that she just needs to get laid.
Barney seems interested, and decides that he will go after Marshalls teacher, who he has
categorized as a Cougar (older women looking for younger men, and to have fun).
Lily walks in and announces that she has quit her job at the restaurant. Robin brings up that
Teds office needs an assistant, and offers the job to Lily.
Teds Office Ted gives Lily a tour of the office, and introduces her to the boss. Lily watches as
Teds boss talks down to him, and tells him that he shouldnt put up with it.
Outisde Professor Lewis Office Marshall and Barney are lingering outsisde Marshalls profes-
sors office. Barney makes his analysis of this cougar, from her hair, blouse and fingernails.
Barney walks into the office and starts speaking to the professor in an Italian accent. Barney
attempts to come onto the professor, when she stops him, and asks him to turn around, which
he does. She then writes down her address and tells him to be there in 2 hours.
McLaurens Lily is telling Robin and Ted how she cannot believe how mean Teds boss, Mr.
Druthers, is to Ted. Robin tells Lily about Teds design for the building, and they both encourage
Ted to show it to Druthers.
Professor Lewis Bedroom Barney looks exhausted, and says how incredible it is. Professor
Lewis is less than impressed and grades/criticizes his work. Barney cant believe it, as he pulled
an all nighter.

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Teds Office Ted finishes some busy work for Mr. Druthers, simply making styrafoam trees
for the presentation. Mr. Druthers notices that his baseball, signed by Pete Rose, is missing. He
then sends Ted off to paint the trees less green. Ted searches Lilys desk for the paints she has
just put away for him and discovers the Peter Rose baseball.
McLaurens Ted runs into Lily and aks her why he found the baseball in her desk. She tells
him simply that she took it. Lily flashbacks to a bunch of events earlier that day, where Mr.
Druthers was being particularly cruel to the sandwich delivery guy, to his mother, and to a little
boy. She treated Druthers the same way she would treat her kindergarten students, if they were
mean, she took a toy away from them. She told Ted, that she left Druthers a note. Ted is angry
with Lily, and Lily doesnt like his tone, so she takes the baseball and leaves.
Ted and Marshalls Apartment Marshall is telling Barney how the received a pop quiz that
day, and no one received higher than a C-. Barney tells Marshall not to worry, as hes trying
again that night.
Professor Lewis Bedroom Barney tells Prof. Lewis that hes in love with her. She continues to
tell him how she isnt impressed, and while he was having sex, she was just revising her syllabus
for the spring semester.
Teds Office Ted wants to replace the ball and take back the note, but Lily refuses to return
the ball. Druthers calls a meeting, and reads his note out loud to the office. Druthers is very
upset, and gives the office an ultamatum. If his ball doesnt return by the end of that day, hell
start firing 3 people every hour the next day. Lily tells Ted, shell give it back if he shows Druthers
his plans.
Ted says, either she gives the ball back, or shes fired. Lily says no, so Ted fires her.
McLaurens Marshall tells Barney that hes not taming the cougar, hes only making her more
angry. Barney tells him that hes fueling up, and trying again that night.
Professor Lewis Apartment Barney drains a 6 pack of energy drinks, and begs Professor Lewis
to let him try again.
Teds Office The firm is about to unveil a design for a skyscraper to a big client, and Druthers
is very excited about it. Druthers unveils it to the client, and the client automatically announces
that the building is a penis. Everybody in the office knows it looks like a penis but Druthers,
who did not see it at all. The client refuses to build a penis, and asks for other ideas. Druthers
doesnt have any ready. The client is anger, and decides to leave. Ted stops him, and shows him
his design.
McLaurens Robin, the gang, and the bar toast Ted for standing up to Druthers, that the client
accepted his design, and becoming project manager.
Hospital Room The gang walks into a hospital room to see Barney as a patient in bed, while
Professor Cougar is standing next to him. She tells the gang that he broke his hip. She tells
Marshall that she read his paper, and that she was pleasantly surprised, and gave him a B+.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Swarley
Season 2
Episode Number: 29
Season Episode: 7

Originally aired: Monday November 6, 2006


Writer: Greg Malins
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: Charlene Amoia (Wendy), Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Joe Nieves
(Carl)
Guest Stars: Tom Lenk (Scott), Vanessa Vander Pluym (Janine), Dana Power (Lau-
ren), Morena Baccarin (Chloe), Shawn Carter Peterson (Man)
Production Code: 2ALH07
Summary: Barney gets a new nickname. Meanwhile, Marshall goes on his first
real date post-Lily, but Ted and Barney warn him that this girl has the
crazy eyes, and Lily decides to do everything she can to find her own
reasons for breaking them up.

Opening scene Marshall, Ted, and


Barney are all seated at a coffee shop,
looking very bored. Ted notices that the
cute coffee girl has written a heart next to
Marshalls name on his coffee cup. They
figure out that the coffee girl has a crush
on Marshall, especially since every time
Marshall comes in, he cracks her up. Ted
encourages Marshall to ask her out. Mar-
shall says maybe the heart means noth-
ing.
Ted checks his cup, it says Ted,
while Barneys cup says Swarley. The
guys decide to start calling Barney, Swarley throughout the episode.
Robins Apartment Ted is walking into the front door as Robin is on the phone with her
mother. Ted tells her that Marshall asked out the coffee girl.
Lily walks in and invites them to a Wine tasting/help me catch the mouse in my apartment
party, and wonders if she should invite Marshall. Robin informs Lily that Marshall has a date,
and Lily says she is ok with it.
McLarens Ted is talking to Barney about his suit, when the Carl, the bartender, calls out that
he has a phonecall for Swarley. Marshall and his date Chloe come in, and Marshall introduces
her to the guys. Chloe steps away to use the restroom, and the guys talk about her.
Marshall is talking about how hot she is, however, Barney and Ted are informing him that
Chloe has crazy eyes. They go on to explain that a person who has crazy eyes, predict future
mental instabitlity. Barney goes on to tell his tale about a women he met with crazy eyes.
Flashback: Barneys crazy eyes womens bedroom Barney and crazy eyes are making out on
her bed. She asks Barney if hed like to have a threesome, which Barney agrees to. She then tells
him that itll be the two of them, and her teddy bear, Mr. Weasels.
McLarens Ted then tells his encounter with a women with crazy eyes, Janine.
Flashback: Outside on the streets Ted and Janine are having a conversation and walking
down the street. Theyre about to cross, and a car brakes hard not to hit them.

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The driver apologizes, which Ted accepts, but Janine goes bizzerk, and starts beating up the
car with a pole. She then walks back to Ted like nothing happened.
McLarens Marshall insists that she doesnt have the crazy eyes, and that shes awesome.
Marshalls school We see Marshall tip-toe out of a lecture hall and pick up a phone call from
Chloe. She asks him to come get her because a weird midget guy with a limp and hunchback
was following her. Which makes her sound completely crazy to Marshall, but he believes her and
backs up the story when he retells it to the guys.
Marshall and Teds apartment Chloe and Marshall are at the apartment, Chloe is wandering
around the living room, whie Marshall is in the kitchen making drinks.
Marshall hears the sound of something dropping to the floor, when he asks, Chloe replies that
she dropped her keys. Marshall walks back into the living room with some beers and notices a
picture frame on broken on the ground containing a picture of him and Lily.
Marshall asks Chloe if she broke the frame, but she says she didnt. Marshall is unsure, and
asks to look into her eyes, obviously to check for craziness. Hes staring into her eyes, and Chloe
decides to go in for a kiss, when all of a sudden Lily jumps up from behind the couch, yells
Stop! and jumps in between them.
Future Ted is telling his kids about that Lily jumping from behind the couch during Marshalls
date sounds crazy, but once they hear her side of the story, its still crazy, but makes more sense.
3 days earlier, at McLarens Lily and Robin discuss Marshalls date with Chloe. Lily starts
asking questions about Chloe, and if shes pretty. Robin tells her she doesnt know, but she can
check for herself at the coffee sho.
The coffee shop Lily walks in with a hat, huge back pack and holding jacket. She asks a
worker if Chloe is there, however Chloe just left. He tells her she can probably catch her, shes
walking down the street with a large pink umbrella. Lily goes out to search for Chloe when it
starts raining, she decides to drap the jacket over herself and her backpack. We see Lily following
Chloe, hiding under her jacket so she doesnt get wet. Lily is so busy watching Chloe she runs
into a metal pipe and hurts her leg. Shes praying for Chloe to turn around, but nothing is
happening, and decides to yell out Turn around, Chloe and Hey, you in a mans voice. Chloe
turns around to see a hunched back midget with a limp chasing after her and she runs away.
McLarens Lily is telling Robin that Chloe is hot, and Robin apologizes. Lily says its fine,
because now she knows she has to stop Marshall from seeing her again. She hatches 2 plans,
Plan A, Lily gets knocked up or Plan B, titled Chloes Accident. Robin tells her she cant go
through with that. If Lily wants to get back together with Marshall some day, shes going to have
to let him work out whatever it is.
Marshall and Teds apartment Lily and Robin enter the apartment and talk to Ted, who has a
surprise for Swarley. Barney is sitting on the couch, working on his PDA. Ted turns on the radio,
and we hear the DJ give a shout out to Swarley. Barney tries a little reverse pyschology, and says
that he loves being called Swarley, but no one falls for it. Barney storms out. Lily notices that
the picture of her and Marshall is missing from its usual spot. Ted tells her that he put it away
in the bookshelf.
Later that night at Marshall and Teds apartment Lily enters a dark living room and searches
for the picture in the bookshelf. She finds it and sets it on the piano, but hears Marshall and
Chloe unlocking the door, she accidentally drops the photo and hides behind the couch. Marshall
and Chloe walk in and Marshall makes her a drink. We see Lily hiding under the desk behind
the couch, stuck listening to Marshalls date until she couldnt take it anymore and jumps up
from behind the couch. Lily introduces herself to Chloe, apologizes, and runs out.
On the front steps of the apartment building Lily is sitting alone until Marshall walks down
the steps to talk to her. He asks her what she was doing. She explains that she freaked out when
she saw her yesterday and how cute she was. Marshall realizes that she is the hunched back
person with a limp. Lily says that shes the one who broke the photo, and Marshall realizes that
Chloe is actually a nice normal girl. Lily encourages him to go back to his date. Marshall tells
her that shes crazy, that she has the craziest eyes than anyone hes ever met. He tells her how
much hes missed her, and they break into a kiss.
Ted and Barney walk by the steps and see the reunited couple, and they decide to go the bar
to celebrate.
Marshall and Teds apartment After the celebration they go back to the apartment, only to
find Chloe still sitting on the couch, and the entire apartment a mess.

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Turned over chairs, paper and books everywhere, lamps knocked over. Marshall apologizes
for forgetting she was up there. Chloe says its ok, she was going to leave but she couldnt find
her keys. Marshall points out that theyre right on the coffee table in front of her. Chloe, giggles,
and then leaves happily.
Closing scene at McLarens Barney walks into McLarens. The entire bar greets him with a
nice big Swarley! and Carl plays the Cheers theme from a stereo.
Barney walks right back out.

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Atlantic City
Season 2
Episode Number: 30
Season Episode: 8

Originally aired: Monday November 13, 2006


Writer: Maria Ferrari
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: Ron Nicolosi (Mike)
Guest Stars: Richard Gant (Judge), Todd Stashwick (Steve), Katie Micucci (Regis-
trar), Monique Edwards (Producer), Michael David Cheng (Paul), Patri-
cia Belcher (Receptionist), Jim Lau (Chinese Man), Boyuen (Big Chi-
nese Gambler), Mary Gillis (Old Woman)
Production Code: 2ALH08
Summary: Marshall and Lily drag the gang to Atlantic City to elope, and their
quest to overcome the three-day wait for a marriage license crosses
them with some Chinese gamblers, a ship captain, and a sexy novelty
shirt.

The show opens with Future Ted


telling his kids that Marshall and Lily are
back together.
Ted and Marshalls Apartment Lily is
tasting pancakes that Marshall made,
which are delicious, when she says At
least Im marrying a guy who knows
how to make pancakes. Which stops
Marshall cold, as they havent discussed
about their future yet. She says that
shed still like to get married if he wants
to. Marshall cant believe that that is how
shes proposing to him, and compares it to how he proposed. She then attempts to propose,
which he criticizes and tells her how to do it. After a frustrating few tries, she just flat out tells
him to marry her.
Opening credits Ted and Marshalls Kitchen Floor We see Marshall and Lily sit up from on the
floor, hair messed up and flour all over them. They are estatic about getting married, then are
instantly filled with doom when they realize whats ahead.
7 months earlier at the apartment We see Lily leaving with her bags, then we see Marshall on
the couch with mounds of crumpled tissues telling his family members that the wedding was off.
Back to present day Lily freaks out about standing in front of his family who probably hates
her, and says shed rather go to Atlantic City and elope that day. They decide thats what theyll
do.
At Robins Newstation Marshall and Lily go to Robins work to tell her the good news and ask
her to come with them, which she does.
At Teds Office They ask Ted to go, at first he is unsure about leaving his project, but after
some coaxing from Lily, decides to go.
At a nail salon The gang runs in and Barney is currently getting a pedicure. They get Barney
to go, but he wants to go after his pedicure. Lily decides shed like one on her wedding day as
well. Next scene, the entire gang is seated and each is getting a pedicure.

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Casino at Atlantic City Barney hints to the group that hes been to Atlantic City a few times,
espcially when a random Chinese man comes up to him, and starts a conversation with him in
Chinese, which he replies back in Chinese. Lily realizes she cant get married without a veil or
bouquet. She sends the guys off to find a veil, while she and Robin search for a bouquet.
Ted and Marshall decide to gamble and Barney volunteers to look for the veil. A few seconds
later Barney comes back with a veil, and he starts talking about having a bachelor party, either
a strip club, or a private party. Marshall doesnt want a bachelor party, besides they only have
18 minutes.
18 Minutes Later The guys run into the wedding chapel lobby and meet up with Lily. Robin
walks in wearing a t-shirt with an airbrushed body wearing a swim suit on it. As Lily had asked
her earlier to change because she couldnt look prettier than the bride.
They walk up to the receptionist, who is less than enthused about people getting married. The
receptionist informs them that in New Jersey, it takes 3 days to obtain a marriage license. She
suggest they go to the court house, they can get the waiting period waived if they have a good
enough reason.
Courthouse The gang is waiting in a very long line. Teds eyes keep straying to Robins drawn
shirt boobs and not listening to her talk. A group of Chinese men approach Barney again, obvi-
ously knowing who he is, and have a conversation with him in Chinese.
Lily and Marshall finally get to the front of the line, but cannot get their waiting period waived,
only a judge may allow that.
Lily decides to stake out the restrooms and wait for a judge to walk by.
Ted pulls Robin aside and asks her if they can do it. Robin is appalled and she knows it only
because of the shirt, but decides to anyway.
A judge finally goes into the Mens Restroom, and Lily runs in after him.
Judges Chambers Marshall and Lily are trying to convince the judge to waive the waiting
period. He states that hed usually not waive the period but he is impressed by the couple. The
fact that theyve stood besides each other for all these years. The judge then sees a strange look
on Barneys face ande ask him what the problem is. Barney reveals that Lily left Marshall over
the summer. He reveals this secret because he believes that being in a courthouse immediately
makes him under oath.
Back at the Casino Marshall decides to give up as they wont be able to find anyone. Lily comes
up with a brilliant idea to get married at sea in international waters. There is no restrictions
getting married out there, they simply need to find a ship captain.
Lily and Robin go off to look for a ship captain, while Ted and Marshall play blackjack, and
Barney follows. Right away, the guys find a ship captain. The captian agrees to marry them for a
fee of $5000. Lily agrees and tries to get the gang to fork up the money, which they dont have.
Barney tells them that he can get the money. The Chinese men that have been coming up to
him are his old gambling buddies, and he used to have a gambling problem playing a Chinese
game. So he says hell play and get them the money.
The game A wheel is being turned, and a bunch of men are sitting around a table with cards
and stacks of chips. Each one by one putting a new stack of chips into the game, and matching
each others chips. The dealer pulls out a stack of tiles, and gives a few to each player. They all
look at their tiles. They then get up and trade seats with another player. The dealer shakes a cup
and puts down some dice. Then Barney calls out for the wheel to be spun. The wheel stops, and
a player leaves the table. No one understands the game, until Marshall says he does, and gives
Barney a tip, which Barney follows. And goes all in, so does the rest of the men. 3 women stand
next to Barney, each with both their fists out, and Barney chooses a fist. The woman opens her
fist to reveal... a jelly bean. Barney wins.
On the boat The ship captian starts the wedding ceremony, but Lily and Marshall realize that
they dont want to do this. They want to make it an amazing wedding in front of their families
and friends. Lily is ready to face Marshalls family. The captain, then says, he pronounces them
Man and Wife. Lily and Marshall yell at him, and he un-pronounces it.
And that is the story of how Marshall and Lily were married for 12 seconds, somewhere off
the coast of Atlantic City.

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Slap Bet
Season 2
Episode Number: 31
Season Episode: 9

Originally aired: Monday November 20, 2006


Writer: Kourtney Kang
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Candace Kroslak (Girl #1), Courtney Abbiati (Girl #3), Wayne Nickel
(Reverend), Rachel Specter (Sara)
Production Code: 2ALH09
Summary: Ted and Barney discusses their viewpoints on knowing things about
women. Barney thinks that the more you know the more likely you
are to find a deal breaker. Ted wants to know the deal breakers right
away, as Robin refuses to go to the mall to cover her secret.

Marshall, Lily, Ted and Robin are out


at lunch when Barney comes in and asks
who wants to go with him to the mall.
Robin says she doesnt want to go, and
everyone wants to know why, but she just
wants to keep it to herself. Ted defends
her, but later asks her about it. She says
its her own little secret. Marshall and
Barney come up with theories about why
she wont go to the mall. Barney decides
that she must have done pornography,
while Marshall thinks that she got mar-
ried at a mall. They decide to do a slap
bet. Ted asks Robin if she is married and she says no, but later says yes. She tells Ted that her
husband moved to Hong Kong and she hasnt seen him in years. Marshall slaps Barney because
he won the bet. Ted later discovers that Robin really isnt married when Marshall finds no record
of a marriage license. Barney slaps Marshall three times for being wrongly slapped the first time.
Barney tracks down a guy who has a tape of Robin Sparkles and gets it put on myspace. Robin
is shocked to hear that name. Barney starts to play the video, but stops it after a few seconds
to spare Robins diginity. Barney slaps Marshall again and says he was right and Robin did do
porn. Robin says it wasnt porn, and they all look shocked. She tells them to play it because they
might as well know the truth. Music starts and Robins voice comes on singing Lets Go To The
Mall. The gang stands around and makes fun of the video. It turns out Robin was a teen star
in Canada during the nineties. Shed had to perform her song at several malls during a tour and
hadnt been to a mall since.

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Single Stamina
Season 2
Episode Number: 32
Season Episode: 10

Originally aired: Monday November 27, 2006


Writer: Kristin Newman
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Wayne Brady (James Stinson)
Guest Stars: Gabrielle Richens (Girls at bar with Tattoo), Brady Matthews (Guy #1),
Dimitri Lekkos (Charles), Timothy Heinrich (Muscular Guy), Kvon Har-
ris (Young James), Steven Engle (Guy #2), Brian Delaney (Drunk Guy),
Michael Cotter (Flamboyant Guy), Sarah Cahill (Rosa), Jamison Yang
(Concerned Guy), Ingrid Raines (Girl)
Production Code: 2ALH10
Summary: Barneys brother, James, visits and Robin, the only one in the group
that has never met him, is surprised. But James has a surprise for
Barney that he finds difficult to swallow.

Old Ted tells us theres nothing like


New York City in the winter... except the
view from your apartment window. Now
that Ted and Robin are together, they,
along with Lily and Marshall, are deep
in couple hibernation mode. This leaves
Barney out, who keeps coming in with
fun things to do, but everyone else is
in their pajamas playing board games or
napping and declines. Old Ted tells us he
even tried being his own wingman by go-
ing up to woman and saying, Hi. Have
you met me? The next time he comes
into the apartment and everyone says no, he tells them his brothers on his way up. Robin is
surprised as she didnt know he had a brother, and Barney tells her hes the greatest guy ever.
Lily tells her hes exactly like Barney. Ted adds not exactly, as Barneys brother, James is gay.
Robin thinks its awesome Barney has a gay brother and Ted says they wanted her to have a
heads-up so she wouldnt be surprised. Theres a knock at the door, and in comes Barneys
African-American brother, James. Robin says, Thanks for the heads up. Robin asks how it
never came up Barney has a gay black brother. Ted says he just wanted to see her surprised.
Lily and Marshall tell James theyre back on and James tells them about doing the things Barney
wanted to do and uses the word legendary and plays laser tag. He holds out his arm so they
can feel his suit. He does a model walk while Barney pretends to take his picture. He holds out
his hand and Barney is delighted to learn gimme five is back. Ted introduces Robin to James
and she asks about their differing skin tones. Old Ted tells us Barney and Jamess mom always
gave them a different reason as to why they looked different. In a flashback to 1982, she tells
them when she was pregnant with Barney she only ate vanilla ice cream and when pregnant with
James she only ate chocolate ice cream. In 1984, she tells them its just one of those things. In
1986, she tells them to stop asking and theyre being racist. In the present, Ted asks what Barney
and James are going to do, and Barney says hes going to do the job Ted has neglected and do it

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

better. Marshall says the last time James was in town, Barney got slapped once, lucky twice, and
ended up in a public figures penthouse. Lily adds they scored the brother/sister combo once.
Barney and James say it was everything they wanted since watching Donny and Marie. Old Ted
tells us since there was never a crossover in targets James was always there for Barney. In the
bar, Barney spots a girl and snaps his fingers and James goes up and compliments her scarf,
then introduces her to Barney.
Barney returns the favor in a dance club when a man is lying on the floor and he introduces
him to James. James asks the gang if theyre coming out with them but they all decline, Lily says
she has her jammies on and Marshall says its after nine and he has warm soup belly. James
gives a very Barney-esque speech about kids in Wyoming wishing they could go out in the city
and they owe it to them to live their dream. He gets the gang fired up and they all run to change.
In a bar, Barney looks for targets for James. James looks for targets for Barney and they pick
out a girl with a tattoo on her lower back. James goes up to her and pretends to be a jerk, and
Barney steps in to be the hero. Once James goes away, Barney and the girl introduce themselves.
Old Ted tells us in a bar you can tell the difference between singles and couples. Singles stay on
their feet, while couples, exhausted by leaving the house, are obsessed with finding a place to sit
down. Singles do shots while couples drink wine, singles are up and laughing, couples look tired,
theyre all ways to tell if someone has single stamina or couples coma. James sits down with the
gang and laments his feet hurt from running from a guy and he shouldve worn sneakers. Lily
cant believe she put on a bra for this, and her and Robin discuss theyre like a zoo for boobs. A
single guy suggests she take it off and Lily tells him to go sweat on someone else. Marshall feels
bad for the guy, but Robin tells them they have no idea what its like to be on the recieving end.
Marshall and Ted dont sympathize with their plight. An attractive guy comes up and asks James
to join him for a shot. James declines and tells the gang its because hes too in shape. He gets
up to get a drink and Lily notices thats the third hot guy James has blown off tonight. Marshall
adds hes turning down shots, yawning, whining about his feet, hes as bad as they are. Ted says
hes exactly as bad as they are and wonders if hes in a relationship. Robin says hes Barneys
brother he couldnt be, but they see him across the room texting. Lily says this will kill Barney
and Barney hears the last part and asks what theyre talking about. They tell Barney they think
James is in a couple but Barney refuses to believe it but starts to recognize the signs.
Robin points out hes texting and Barney runs over but James wont let him see his phone.
Barney snatches it and sees Barneys cell phone wallpaper is James and another man. James
tells Barney the man is Tom, his fiancee.
James catches up with Barney in McLarens and Barney tells him he doesnt support it. James
tells him it felt unnatural to him at first too, but he fell in love and he and his fiancee realized you
cant fight love. Barney is disgusted but James tells Barney its happening and he wants Barney
to be his best man. Barney refuses and James, hurt, leaves the bar.
Barney enters the apartments and laments if gay guys starts getting married, everyone will
be doing it. He shudders at how the American family will be strengthened. Marshall tells him he
has to be a man about this, and Barney says its always been him and James being awesome.
Ted tells him he needs to support it and Barney says it is a cause for celebration and they should
celebrate the commitment James and Tom are about to make.
In a gay dance club, James asks why theyre celebrating his commitment there. Barney and
James head off and Marshall drinks a fruity pink drink. A guy comes up and hits on him and
Marshall politely declines. The guy in turn hits on Ted who also declines, but he and Marshall
are flattered nonetheless. A guy compliments Robin on her sweater and she realizes he really
means it and her Lily go off to dance and not get groped. The guy nods in Teds direction and he
and Marshall are happy theyre hot. James is telling a story about him and Tom to Barney who
pretends to be interested. James tells Barney he cant wait for him to meet Tom and its liberating
to talk about it with Barney. Barney in turn keeps throwing hot guys James way. While Lily and
Robin dance in a cage, Ted and Marshall talk about how strange it is to see Barney so vulnerable.
A guy comes up and hits on them but they rebuke him and lament about how losers, not hot
guys keep hitting on them. Lily and Robin laugh at them but miss being hit on themselves. James
tells Barney to stop throwing guys at him and his getting married is threatening Barneys way of
life, and Barney is angry he calls it his way of life and that James isnt suited up. He tells James
he doesnt have to do this, but James says he does because he and Tom are adopting a baby.
He tells Barney hell be an uncle for the rest of his life. Barney hugs James and Old Ted tells us

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thats how Barney became Uncle Barney.


A year later, Barney gives the best mans speech at Jamess wedding. He goes back to the
table where the gang is sitting and they commend him on his speech. Marshall says its time to
get the wife home and he and Lily kiss before departing. Ted and Robin get up to share a dance
and Barney goes over to talk his baby nephew. He tells him that just because hes being raised
by married people he doesnt have to choose that life In twenty and a half years, hell be twenty
one, and while Barney hasnt decided how old hell be, theyll bro out uncle and nephew He picks
up his nephew and promises to teach him how to live.
A crying girl tells Barney Tom liked her breasts in the tenth grade and cant figure out why
he doesnt like them now. Barney tells her shes beautiful and worthy of love and they hug. Over
her shoulder, Barney does his Im watching you gesture with his nephew.

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How Lily Stole Christmas


Season 2
Episode Number: 33
Season Episode: 11

Originally aired: Monday December 11, 2006


Writer: Brenda Hsueh
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick
Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Michael Gross (Alfred Mosby), Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Cristine
Rose (Virginia Mosby)
Guest Stars: Carlease Burke (WPD Worker), Marcus Folmar (WPD Driver), Harry
Groener (Clint), Moon Unit Zappa (Stacy), Zachary Gordon (Boy), Han-
nah Payne (Charity), Anne-Michelle Seiler (Brunette)
Production Code: 2ALH11
Summary: Ted almost ruins Christmas for everyone when, still carrying around
anger toward Lily, he calls her a horribly disgusting name. Robin tends
to Barney while he has a cold.

The episode started with Lily decorat-


ing the apartment and making it a Win-
ter Wonderland as Marshall calls it. Hes
off to finish a paper for school and doesnt
want to see it untill hes finished.
While Lily is busy decorating she finds
their old answering machine and plugs in
to to see that theres messages on it. One
of the messages is from Ted to Marshell
try to convenice him to get over Lily and
calls her a Grinch (they dont tell us the
real word but just refer to it as Grinch)
Ted realized that Lily has heard the mes-
sage. Ted trys to explain that it was after she walked on an Marshell and was just trying to
make his Best Friend feel better. Ted and Lily argue about and then Ted goes down to the bar to
hangout with Robin and Barney.
Ted goes back to the apt with a beer to make up with Lily. He said that what they did in college
to make up with eachother. When Ted, Barney and Robin get back to the apt they realize that
Lily has taken all the Winter Wonderland decorations to her apt in the Bronx. Ted takes the
train down to Lilys apt to convence her to come back and she refusses. Ted desides hes going
to spend CHristmas with his sister since Lily is upset with him.
Meanwhile, Barney is sick and Robin is taking care of him.
Marshall comes home to a winter wonderland and gives Lily a package. He tells her that he
ordered it a while ago and it was lost. He had to run down a truck to stop and get Lilys package
off of it. The driver tells Marshall that he wont be able to deviler all the Christmas packages by
the end of the day so Marshall helps out. When Lily opens the present its an Easy Back Oven
that she had always wanted since she was a kid. Lily asked Marshall how he new she wanted it.
Marshall tells Lily that back in college she told Ted and Ted told Marshall that she would want
it. Lily it touched that Ted had remembered all those years.
The group decides to go rescue Ted from his family with a beer. When ted opens the door to
see his friends hes thankful. Him and Lilly say their sorry and Lilly say its ok I was kind of

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acting like a grinch. Teds little cousin hears the word and asks him what it is. (Keep in mind
Teds sisters family is very religous) The other 5 kids hear thier brother say grinch and they alll
start chanting Grinch, Grinch, Grinch... as ted and the gang run home.

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First Time In New York


Season 2
Episode Number: 34
Season Episode: 12

Originally aired: Monday January 8, 2007


Writer: Gloria Calderon Kellett
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky),
Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick
Harris (Barney Stinson)
Recurring Role: David Henrie (Son), Lyndsy Fonseca (Daughter), Bob Saget (Voice of
Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Ryan Pinkston (Kyle), Brian Kubach (Brian), Stuart Randy Smith
(Stranger), Misti Traya (Molly Teds First), Lucy Hale (Katie
Scherbatsky)
Production Code: 2ALH12
Summary: Robin wants to tell Ted that she loves him, but she cant tell him.
Meanwhile, her sister visits and brings her boyfriend, and Robin
doesnt know how to react when her sister says shes ready to lose
her virginity.

Future Ted is telling his kids about


how Robin went through the regular
stages of figuring out when and how to
say I love you in comparison to his I
love you on his first date with Robin.
From Ted taking care of her when she
was sick, killing spiders for her, or when
he offered to take her sister to the empire
state building. Instead of saying I love
you she said Falafal Airport Robin and
Lily are waiting at the airport for Katie,
Robins 17 year old sister, to arrive in
New York. Meanwhile, Robin is telling Lily
about the Falafal incident, and how shes never said I love you to anyone before. Katie walks
into the terminal, and Robin gets excited, but then Katie starts making out with some guy, which
freaks out Robin. They walk up to Robin and Lily and she introduces her boyfriend Kyle, who
was also visiting family in New York. Katie tells Robin shell be staying with him their first night,
which Robin refuses. Katie tells her that its an important and special night for them.
McLaurens Robin is downing a drink, and tells the gang that she cannot believe her little
sister is planning on losing her virginity, and asks the gang to help her Lobby of the Empire
State Building Robin finally got Katie to stay the night with her, and the group take her to see
the Empire State Building. Robin and the group try to tell Katie that waiting is a good thing, and
that she should wait for something special. Marshall and Lily saw how great it was to wait for
eachother, and now theyre engaged. Robin and Katie argue about it, and Katie walks away to
smoke. Everyone then recounts their first time, and ages.
Barneys First Time Its a scene straight out of Dirty Dancing from the clothes, the music
and the hair. Barney and Baby are singing to each other on the floor of a dancing room.
The group cuts his story short because they know its directly from Dirty Dancing. Marshall
and Lilys First Time Marshall and Lily are in bed in Marshalls dorm room. They cannot wait to
have sex, but Lily wants to make it special. They plan on getting a room new years eve, which,
according to Marshalls expression, is too far away. But they agree to wait.

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12 minutes later, they just had sex, and say oops, because they didnt wait. But it was great
for the both of them.
Robin says that their story is adorable, but Ted says, tell them what happens next.
Back to Marshall and Lilys First Time Lily asks if Marshall wants to do it agian, and we hear
Ted say Please dont and see that he is sleeping on the top bunk of the bed in which Marshall
and Lily just had sex.
Robins First Time Robin was 16 and it was with her boyfriend at the time, Brian. He gets in
position, but then rolls off, and says Yeah, Im gay. Robin says that even though they just barely
had sex, it counts. She explains that he didnt dive right into the pool, but splashed around in
the shallow end. Lily says that it doesnt count, but Robin and Marshall says it does. We find out
that Marshall wasnt officially Lilys first, because her highschool boyfriend, Scooter, splashed
around in the shallow end. This upsets Marshall, and Lily tries to show that it doesnt count,
only he counts. She compares it to being in the Empire State Building Lobby, even though theyre
in the lobby, theyre not really at the Empire State Building yet. Marshall doesnt agree with the
analogy, and says it still counts.
Katie thinks that Robin is being a hypocrite, because Robin has probably had sex with a
bunch of guys. Robin defends herself saying shes had different levels of feeling for each guy.
Katie counters, and asks Robin if she loves Ted.
Ted takes Robin aside, and tells her that its ok, she doesnt have to say it. Hes fine with it,
which makes Robin feel a lot better.
Robin talks with Katie, and tries one more time to talk Katie out of it, they end up not going
up to the Empire State Building.
Future Ted tells his kids that Katie did do it, and got pregnant with quintuplets, lived in a
trailer park and became an alcoholic and died. Which was a lie, he just tried to scare his kids.
Marshall and Teds Apartment Robin comes over to Teds to tell him that Katie didnt sleep
with Kyle. Apparently Katie asked to wait, and Kyle broke up with her.
We find out that Ted spoke to Katie, and got through to her, by telling her his first time story.
Teds First Time Ted is making out with a girl named Molly and she tells him she loves him,
and he says he loves her, too. (Ted voice over: But, I didnt) They then proceed to have sex. 12
minutes later, Ted gets up and gets dressed to go light some fireworks with his cousin.
Ted promises to call Molly (Ted voice over: But, I didnt), and gets ready to go, but then asks
to borrow $20 which hell pay back, (Ted voice over: But, I didnt).
After telling this story, Ted shows Katie that 17 year old guys will do anything for sex, even
the nice guys.
Robin says that Teds story doesnt sound like something Ted would do, which is true.
Teds REAL First Time Ted is making out with a girl named Molly and he tells her he loves
her, and she says she loves him, too. They then proceed to have sex. 12 minutes later, Molly gets
up and gets dressed to go light some fireworks with his cousin. She promises to call Ted, and
gets ready to go, but then asks to borrow $20 which shell pay back.
Robin is touched by Teds story, and hugs him, and tells him that she loves him.
Lobby of the Empire State Building The group goes back to the Empire State Building, Barney
asks why, because they were just there yesterday, and Marshall says it didnt really count. Lily
hears this, and proves to Marshall that Scooter didnt really count. The gang then gets into the
elevator, and goes up.
McLaurens The gang realizes they never head Barneys real first time story. Barney tries to
pull off some stories but theyre really scenes from other movies like; Fast Times at Ridgemont
High, Risky Business, and War Games. It turns out that he was 23, and it was with his
moms 45 year old divorced friend, Rhonda. Barney is obviously distraught, so Marshall allows
Barney to re-tell his Dirty Dancing story.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Columns
Season 2
Episode Number: 35
Season Episode: 13

Originally aired: Monday January 22, 2007


Writer: Matt Kuhn
Director: Rob Greenberg
Show Stars: Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson),
Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie
Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Joe Nieves (Carl)
Guest Stars: Ewan Chung (Carol), Thomas Anthony (Man), William Schallert
(Brady), Preston Bailey (Kindergartner), Bryan Cranston (Druthers),
Ben Tolpin (Mark)
Production Code: 2ALH13
Summary: When Ted is constantly insulted by his former boss, who is now work-
ing for him on a project, he is told to fire the man, but he finds that a
hard thing to do. Meanwhile, Barney offers Lily a lot of money to paint
a nude portrait of him.

Flashback to 1982 - Ted talks about


his dream of building skyscrapers, but
there always being problems.
2006: Ted is an architect, and he dis-
cusses his plans for his new building
designed with columns, but his boss,
Mr. Druthers, destroys his prototype. Mr.
Druthers wonders when he will come up
with an original idea. The older Ted tells
the story about how Hammond Druthers
was a legend in the architecture commu-
nity, but a bad boss. Then, Ted came up
with a great idea for a building and was
suddenly Mr. Drutherss boss. Mr. Druthers is not happy with this new situation and Ted doesnt
really like it. Ted likes being a regular employee so that he can play with the other employees,
but now that he is the boss, his life has totally changed. He was constantly thinking about work
and making enemies in the office. At the bar, Robin suggests that Mr. Druthers is good looking
since only good-looking people can get away with that kind of attitude. Ted tells his friends that
he talked to a managing partner and he offered that everyone should go, even Ted. When they get
back to the apartment, Robin reminds Ted about when she had to fire her make-up artist. Ted
tells Robin that he will fire Mr. Druthers tomorrow, but Barney interrupts them when he finds
a naked picture of Marshall. Robin suggests that Marshall is embarrassed by it and then they
decide to make fun of him.
When Mr. Druthers shows up late form lunch, he offers Ted some advice on the building,
but Ted tells him that they should meet in his office, but the office shows up singing Happy
Birthday to Mr. Druthers. When Marshall shows up at the apartment, Barney offers him a stool,
Robin offers him a rose, and then Barney shows Marshall his new dart, which he runs together
to sound like nude art.
Marshall knows what they are talking about and then there is a flashback to Marshall and
Lily in college. Lily has a nude session in art class, but Marshall doesnt want her seeing another
guy naked. Lily suggests that Marshall pose nude, but they jump back to 2006 when Marshall

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tells them that he is destroying it. The painting is missing and they run out of the apartment
and see the painting at the bar hanging behind the bar. Marshall tries to buy the painting back,
but Carl, the bartender, refuses to sell it. Robin asks where they should put it next, but Barney
tells them that he has plans for the next 5 years for the painting. Marshall runs and grabs the
painting form behind the bar and runs outside with it. When Ted and Robin leave, Barney tells
Lily that he thinks that the painting is great. When Lily mentions that the misses painting nudes,
Barney suggests that she paint him. When Ted shows up at the office, he finds Mr. Druthers in
his pajamas. Ted asks him what he is doing and Mr. Druthers tells Ted that he and his wife had
an argument and kicked him out and then starts crying. Ted consoles him while he cries on his
outfit. Ted wimps out and doesnt fire him, but tells him Happy Birthday.
Mr. Druthers points out that he is an architect without a home, but Ted suggests that he
go to a hotel. Mr. Druthers tells Ted that his wife is man-ish and is very self-sufficient. Robin
guesses that he didnt fire Mr. Druthers when she find Mr. Druthers on the couch. Lily wakes
Marshall up and tries to explain how they can get a better honeymoon. Lily suggests that they
go to Scotland and Marshall lights up when he thinks of the Lochness Monster. Flashback to
the bar when Barney asks for Lily to paint him, Lily is not sure about painting him, but Barney
has faith in her abilities. Lily tells Marshall this story as she is flashing back to the conversation.
When Lily tells him that Barney offered $5,000, Marshall loves the idea. Ted and Mr. Druthers
show up at work friendly, but when the talk turns to work and the columns, Mr. Druthers makes
fun of his idea. Ted brings Mr. Druthers to the side and asks him why he is not backing his
column idea, but Mr. Druthers tells him that business and pleasure are separate. Barney shows
up and tells Lily how he wants to be painting. When Marshall thinks about how Lily is earning
the $5,000, he regrets the decision and runs to the apartment. When Lily gets to the nude part,
Marshall walks in and tells Lily that he has found a better place for them to stay and wants more
money. Barney offers $5,000 more and Marshall accepts. Ted finally tries to fire Mr. Druthers,
but a few guys show up to serve Mr. Druthers with divorce papers. The rest of the office shows
up to sing Happy Birthday, but ted tells them to stop. Ted gets upset and Mr. Druthers has a
heart attack. While he is on the floor, Ted fires him, thinking that he was faking.
The EMTs bring Mr. Druthers out of the office on a stretcher and then Ted apologizes to the
office. Ted then comes up with Margarita Fridays to not have everyone hate him.
Lily finishes her painting of Barney and Marshall and Lily leave the apartment quickly, but
Barney walks out upset that Lily did not put his male anatomy ion the painting.

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Monday Night Football


Season 2
Episode Number: 36
Season Episode: 14

Originally aired: Monday February 5, 2007


Writer: Carter Bays, Craig Thomas
Director: Rob Greenberg
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie
Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Neil
Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson)
Recurring Role: Ron Nicolosi (Mike), Charlene Amoia (Wendy), David Henrie (Son), Bob
Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Lyndsy Fonseca (Daughter), Joe Nieves
(Carl)
Guest Stars: Peyton Hinson (Trish), Monique Edwards (Producer), Nicholas Roget-
King (Doug), Emmitt Smith (Himself), John Ducey (Kevin), Robert
Michael Morris (Lou), Lou Bonacki (Older Guy), Marshall Cook (Pool
Player #2), Jay Hayden (Pool Player #1), David Douglas (Random Guy),
Dwight Hicks (Sid), Jon Ryckman (Bartender)
Production Code: 2ALH14
Summary: When a funeral conflicts with the Super Bowl, the gang vows to avoid
hearing the score and watch it together on Monday. This proves diffi-
cult, as Marshall is threatened with the score by a boy in Lilys class,
while doing the news puts Robin in danger of finding out who won.

2030-The older Ted tells his kids


about Monday Night Football in 2006.
2006 - Ted tells everyone what their
duties are for getting ready for Monday
Night Football. Ted is getting the food
for the party and they are interrupted
by a waitress who tells them that Mark
died. They are confused to Mark is, but
they are confused on whether they should
watch the Super Bowl or go to the funeral
as they are both during the same time.
The bartender throws a guy out because
he said that he wasnt going to the funeral
so that he can watch the Super Bowl. Ted and Marshall are getting ready for the funeral and pray
over the TiVO for it to make sure that it records the game. Barney shows up talking to his bookie
like a girl that he likes. Barney is not dressed in a suit and tells them that suits are for fun times,
not funerals. At the funeral, they pay their respects to Mark and finally realize who he is. Barney
is concerned about the suit that Mark is to be buried in since it was so good. They show up at the
bar at 2:30 in the morning and talk to the bartender about stories about Mark. They reminisce
about their past Super Bowls that they watched together. They decide that they will wait until
they can get together until they can watch the game and to not find out the score until they can
watch it together.
Everyone has problems not hearing the score and Ted decides to work at home so that he
wont find out the score. Barney shows up and handcuffs himself to the radiator so that he wont
check the score. During the news broadcast, Robin doesnt want to hear the score and tries to
forbid the sports report by going to weather or traffic. Marshall shows up at Lilys kindergarten
class for show and tell. Lily starts the kids on arts and crafts and Marshall sits with a student

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

who knows the score of the Super Bowl. The kid blackmails him to not tell Marshall the score.
Barney tries to get out of his handcuffs to call his bookie, but Ted has to leave to go to the sports
bar to pick up the wings for the game. Ted has devised special glasses to not be able to see or
hear the score.
During the sports broadcast, Robin puts her fingers in her ears and asks the news director to
change the broadcast so that they dont talk about the game scores. Barney is still trying to get
free from the handcuffs and eventually finds a much easier way of freeing himself to go to the
bathroom. Ted comes home and finds Barney gone and that he has not gotten the dipping sauce.
The kid in Lilys class tells Marshall that he is in love with Lily and then drops something on
the floor and breaks it. Marshall tells him that he did it so that the kid wont tell him the score.
Lily has to put Marshall in time out because she has to put the other kids in the time out when
they do something wrong. Robin tells her news story vaguely so that she doesnt give away the
teams name that won. The kid keeps on blackmailing him, but Marshall gets upset and sprays
the kid with his juice drink and tells him that he will tell everyone that he wet his pants unless
he stops blackmailing him. Barney runs into Emmitt Smith and asks him about the Super Bowl,
but he forgot that it was on since dance is more important than anything else (he was in 2006s
Dancing with the Stars). Ted returns to the sports bar to get the dipping sauce. Older Ted tells
that everyone found out who won at the same time by paper, radio, or news story, but Ted is
the only one that hasnt found anything. Everyone returns to the apartment and Barney yells
that he bet on the wrong team. Ted is upset that they knew who Barney bet on and he ruined
it for them. They decide that the beer, wings, and commercials were not ruined. They decide to
watch the game and talk about their escapades during the day. Older Ted says that he doesnt
remember who won the game, but does remember the fun they had during the game. At the bar,
Barney talks about how terrible his bets were on the game while Ted drowns him out with his
new glasses.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Lucky Penny
Season 2
Episode Number: 37
Season Episode: 15

Originally aired: Monday February 12, 2007


Writer: Jamie Rhonheimer
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson),
Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie
Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Meredith Scott Lynn (Phyllis), Gabrielle Allan (Pregnant Lady), Connie
Sawyer (Old Lady), Carrick Quinn (Transit Cop), John Rosenfeld (Guy),
Kelly Perine (Fred), Jason Medwin (Thug)
Production Code: 2ALH15
Summary: Ted cant seem to catch a flight to interview for his dream job, and
he and Robin contemplate why. The story unfolds backwards as they
they remember when Robin and Lily went hunting for a wedding dress
and when Barney got stuck on the subway.

Ted was late to the airport because


he had court in the morning for jump-
ing the turnstyle at the subway. This is
when it becomes Barneys fault. If Ted
hadnt had to jump that turnstyle to get
to Barney, this never would have hap-
pened. We go back to earlier in the day
to find out Barney was stuck on the train
and couldnt walk, because he had run
the NY Marathon that day and lost the
use of his legs. We go back even more, to
Marshalls fault seeing that he was ac-
tually the one who planned to run but could not race that day, having broken his toe. He makes
a bet with Barney that he couldnt run it, which is barney he does. Then back to Robins fault.
She walked in on Marshall rubbing his nips after a long run, and he freaks out and breaks his
toe. Further back to Lilys fault, the reason Robin was in the apartment to scare Marshall, was
cause she was camped out at a wedding dress sale with Lily.
Back even further to Teds fault, since no one would have known about the sale if it werent
for him. Why? Because he found a 1939 penny, went across town to make $1.49 profit with it,
and treated Robin to a hotdog, which is where she saw the wedding dress sale.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Stuff
Season 2
Episode Number: 38
Season Episode: 16

Originally aired: Monday February 19, 2007


Writer: Kourtney Kang
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Taylor Hoover (Jeannie Radford), Diana Gettinger (Alison Moses), Ashli
Ford (Lauren Stein), Terryn Westbrook (Staci Rawnsley), Evan Mann
(Zack Greco), E.E. Bell (Mystery Man), Jason Lopez (Hot Guy), Rick
Malambri (Floppy Haired Guy)
Production Code: 2ALH16
Summary: Lily gets asked to play in an off-off-off-off-Broadway play, and the gang
shows up to support her. Ted and Robin get hung up on what each
kept from their past relationships. Barney performs his own play to
prove a point to Lily.

Lily gets asked to be in a terrible play,


and the gang goes to show their support.
While Ted, Marshall and Robin all give
her props, Barney keeps it honest. Lily is
upset because of his honesty, and says
she would have been nice to him no mat-
ter how bad a play he was in. This sets
up a classic ending.
Meanwhile, robin finds out where
many of the things of Teds came from:
past girlfriends. Feeling insecure, she
starts seeing his ex-es everywhere they
left something. Ted gets rid of it all before learning that Robins dogs are all love gifts from
her past boyfriends. Unable to cope with this new bit of info, Robin does the same for Ted, and
gets rid of her dogs. Only to find out that Ted didnt throw anything away, which led to a large
fight. The end of the fight? Ted and Robin are moving in together.
Then the gang finds themselves in front of the stage, to view Barneys play, which is specifically
created to be terrible. The episode ends with Marshall no longer being able to take it, and bringing
out number 2 of the slap bet: he slaps Barney to the ground.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Arrivederci, Fiero
Season 2
Episode Number: 39
Season Episode: 17

Originally aired: Monday February 26, 2007


Writer: Chris Harris (II)
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: Robert Michael Ryan (Marvin Eriksen Jr.), Bob Saget (Voice of Ted
2030), Ned Rolsma (Marcus Eriksen)
Guest Stars: Jonathan Browning (Mechanic), Frank Clem (Hick), Jack Salvatore Jr.
(Drive-Thru Attendant)
Production Code: 2ALH17
Summary: Marshall is all set to celebrate his beloved Fiero hitting the 200,000
mile mark, but it stops. While the gang sits in the mechanics garage
and waits to hear what will happen to the vehicle they think about
times gone by that they have spent together in the car, including the
story of how Ted met Marshall.

Ted and Marshall are driving in Mar-


shalls car, a red Fiero, when it was about
to turn to 200,000 miles. Ted finds cigars
in the glove box that turn out to not re-
ally be cigars, but chopsticks wrapped
up. Marshall runs into a pot hole and the
car dies.
Old Ted: Kids, sometimes life forces
us to be someone we didnt want to be.
When that happens, we often try to hold
on to a little piece of who we were. Maybe
a tattoo or a piece of jewelry. A tiny sou-
venir that reminds us, This is who I really am. Marshalls souvenir was not so tiny, but the more
he found himself being pushed toward the corporate world and away from his dream of saving
the environment, the tighter he held on to that Fiero. 2006-Ted and Marshall are at the auto
shop waiting for the car to get fixed. Then, Lily, Robin, and Barney show up to keep Marshall
company in his time of need. Marshall tells them that he got the car from his brother when he
turned 16, but it was not a pleasant experience. Flashback to his brothers giving him the keys to
the car and they have already made him shave his legs and swallow $5 in quarters, but they still
wanted him to go to a drive-thru and get 12 cups of coffee totally nude. When he pulls through
to get the coffee, the guy at the drive-thru notices that he is naked. The man at the drive-thru
tells him that they are out of trays and lids because two tall guys already bought them. When
Marshall pulls off, his brothers jump out and scare, causing the coffees to land on him and burn
him. That occurred at the 72,108 mile mark in the car.
Back in 2007, Ted tells them that that is why Marshall wont let anyone bring food into the
car. Lily yells at Barney for not folding the things for her wedding correctly, but he just did it so
he wouldnt have to fold them anymore. Then, Ted and Marshall recount the Fiero-asco, which
occurred before the 100,000 mile mark. Flashback to college and Marshall talks to Ted and offers
him a ride to his parents house in Ohio. Ted doesnt want to go home since he and his girlfriend
have decided on keeping their promise to each other so that they can make a long-distance

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relationship work. Then, the story jumps ahead to when Marshall is driving Ted to his parents
house and Ted is talking about him and his girlfriend breaking up. Marshall tells Ted that he is
not willing to settle down with his first girlfriend. They listen to Im Gonna Be (500 Miles) the
entire way since the tape is stuck in the tape player.
They cycle between singing along with the song and then really hating the song. Ted suggests
that they play a game where if you see a dog, you have to say zitch-dog and Ted tells Marshall
that he is really good at the game, but Marshall is winning 18-0 by the time it gets dark. Marshall
and Ted get lost, but then in the present, Marshall tells Ted that he skipped a part in the story.
Ted suggests that they get go on a different route, but then they get lost at 99,995 miles when
it is snowing and below zero. They then begin to argue and end up staying in the car and are
freezing and talk about what would happen if they were to die. Ted then gets his glasses broken.
Marshall then suggests that they have to hold each other to keep warm. Marshall then tells Ted
that he wants to stay with Lily and marry her. In the morning, a man finds them in front of a
motel. Back to the present, Marshall gets called in to learn the fate of his car. The mechanic tells
Marshall bad news and then Marshall tells his friends that it would cost $3,000 to fix the car
and it may not last that long after that. Marshall then recounts other events that occurred in
the car such as the suicidal cat (144,336), hitchhiking Waldo (167,018), and the homeless guy
who broke the window and threw up in his back seat. Lily then coughs and Robin tells her not
to say anything, but Lily wants to clear her conscience. Lily then tells Marshall about her and
Robin wanting to get food from the Thai place. Lily agrees to pick up the food, but the food flies
around the car, so they decide to clean up the food and use the cigars to cover the smell and
replace them with the chopsticks. They then decide that they will lie to Marshall. The repairman
asks if he is giving up the car yet, but Marshall isnt sure. Barney explains that he hates the car
and Ted describes why. Barney had to go to a massage, but he doesnt know how to drive and
asks Ted to drive him to his massage. This happens at mile 189,441. While teaching Barney how
to drive, Barney ends up not trying to run into a dog and runs the car into a bush at about 1
mile per hour. Barney is traumatized by the whole incident, he decided he wouldnt drive a car
anymore. Marshall decides that the car has lived a great life and it deserves to be put down to
rest. Marshall resolves to get a new car and fill it up with new memories and dreams. Marshall
sits in the car one last time and hits the dashboard, which ejects the cassette. They decide to
push the car the last .7 miles, but the back wheels were on blocks, so they decided to make it
close enough. Flashback to before Marshall got the car and he put the cassette single with Im
Gonna Be (500 Miles) on it and tells his brother that he wants to always listen to the song.

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Moving Day
Season 2
Episode Number: 40
Season Episode: 18

Originally aired: Monday March 19, 2007


Writer: Maria Ferrari
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Jason Segel (Marshall Erik-
sen), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky),
Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Rachelle LeFevre (Sarah), Jessica Barth (Pretty Girl), Ailsa Marshall
(Girl #3), Necar Zadegan (Girl #2), Ella Thomas (Girl #1)
Production Code: 2ALH18
Summary: Barney takes drastic measures to prevent Ted from moving into
Robins apartment. Meanwhile, Marshall and Lily are discovering the
ups and downs of having the apartment to themselves. Barney con-
siders moving in with Marshall and Lily.

Older Ted: Kids, in the Spring of


2007, everything was great between me
and Robin. So we decided to try to make
it even better. We decided to move in to-
gether.
2007: Barney offers to live with Mar-
shall and Lily because he wants to live
closer to the bar since it takes over twenty
minutes to get to his apartment and
things can go badly with girls that he
is trying to bring back to his apartment.
He then recounts different circumstances
when, within the twenty minutes, things have gone badly. Lily doesnt like the idea that he will
use their place to bring girls to.
Ted and Robin are moving with Marshall and Lily helping them get their things into the moving
truck. Marshall offers Ted one of the two swords that they have that represent their friendship.
Barney runs in and shows them a quiz that he found to make sure that they are ready to move in
together. Barney then asks him the questions and suggests that they shouldnt move in together.
Barney pleads with them and suggests that they dont really know everything about each other.
Ted tells him to stop fighting the inevitable and then Barney decides to help, but when they come
downstairs, they notice that the moving truck is gone and Barney has taken it.
Marshall and Lily go back up to their apartment and rejoice that they can finally do everything
they wanted to do. They then flash forward to sitting in the apartment naked, but they decide
that it is not as awesome as they thought it would be. Ted calls Barney again, but he doesnt
answer. When Ted suggests that they have a TV in the bedroom, Robin balks at the idea and
they decide to drink some wine. When they are making out, Marshall and Lily realize that they
can be loud and do it wherever. Ted is trying to put his things into Robins apartment, but Robin
doesnt want Teds things in her kitchen. Barney then calls Ted and tells him to put on the suit
that he has left at his door and to complete challenges that he poses to him. The first is to put
on the suit and then meet him at McLarens.
Ted meets Barney at the bar and asks him where is stuff is, but Barney tells him to call him
The Commodore. Barney tells Ted that they have to have one last night out as bros. When Ted

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doesnt want to do what Barney tells him to do, Barney reminds him about his things that he
is holding ransom. Marshall and Lily are settling down to watch TV and Marshal automatically
turns around and calls for Ted to come into the living room, but they quickly realize that Ted
isnt there. They dont seem happy. Barney has Ted hit on a girl to get the girls number while
Robin is smoking her last cigarette in the bathtub. Lily tries to make something for dinner, but
she realizes that Ted did the shopping and took his microwave. Marshall then comes out of the
bathroom and announces that all of the towels were Teds. they realize that all of the useful
things in the apartment were Teds and that they miss him. Barney and Ted are playing laser tag
and having fun. Ted tells Barney that he has to call Robin and ask to do something afterward,
but Barney gets upset. Ted calls Robin and Robin tells him that it is ok. Robin then talks to the
magazine company and cancels her subscription to a magazine about guns and ammo, but the
company offers to send her a grenade phone and she opts to have the magazine sent to her work
address. Marshall shows back up at the apartment with bags of things to furnish the apartment,
but when Lily asks for toilet paper, her has to go get some. Ted and Barney drink at the bar
and Ted asks about his truck with his things. Barney tells Ted that he doesnt want the things
since he really doesnt want to move in with her and they realize that it was a huge mistake.
Barney also notes that he called Robins apartment, Robins, not his or ours. Ted arrives back at
his and Robins apartment and doesnt find any movies he likes and then when he puts his feet
on the coffee table, she tells him to not put his feet on it. Ted suddenly realizes that he knows
where Barney put the moving truck. Barney is at the bar and picks up a girl and takes her to
the moving truck which he has set up as an apartment. He is kissing the girl when the truck
starts moving and the girl freaks out and thinks that Barney is kidnapping her. Ted calls Barney
on his phone and tells him that he took back his truck. Later on, with Robin, they decide to get
Teds things unpacked. Marshall suggests that they rely too much on Ted and they decide that
they should marry and then marry Ted.
Ted then walks into the apartment and tells them the story about what happened with him
and Robin. He explains that they just werent ready, they fought too much, and they are happy
with the way things were. They then decide to have not move in together sex. They hop into the
back of the moving van. Marshall and Lily hug Ted and tell him that it feels so right to have him
back at the apartment. Ted reminds them that Robin is in the moving truck getting out boxes.
At the bar, Barney reads them a list of the top ten things that he would have called his truck.
#10-The Winnebango, #9-The Pick-Up Truck, #8-The Ford Explore Her, #7-The You-Scream
Truck, #6-Feels on Wheels, #5-The Ride-Her Truck. #4-The 18-Squealer, #3-The Escalaid, #2-
The Samboni, and #1-The 69 Chevy.

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Bachelor Party
Season 2
Episode Number: 41
Season Episode: 19

Originally aired: Monday April 9, 2007


Writer: Chris Harris (II)
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: Joe Manganiello (Brad), Matt Boren (Stuart), Bob Saget (Voice of Ted
2030)
Guest Stars: Erin Cardillo (Treasure), Corie Vickers (Cousin Margaret), Patricia
Place (Aunt Florence), Meagen Fay (Janice), K Callan (Grandma Lois),
Jamie Rose Hagan (Stripper)
Production Code: 2ALH19
Summary: Robin attends Lilys bridal shower and finds the gift that she brought
is out of place. Barney hires a stripper for Marshalls bachelor party.

Older Ted: It took me a while to figure


out, but the key to understanding your
Uncle Barney is this...
August 2006: Older Ted: When times
are hard, its impossible to keep him
around. Like when your aunt Lily and
Uncle Marshall were broken up.
May 2007: But when times are good,
its impossible to get rid of him. Bar-
ney joins Ted and Marshall and Ted tells
them that they are working on Marshalls
bachelor party. Ted tells Barney that they
arent going to have strippers, but Barney doesnt like the idea. Older Ted: This is the worst thing
that I could have said. You see, Uncle Barney loved cooking up bachelor parties and it was al-
ways the same recipe. You start with a slightly cramped hotel suite, arrange the chairs in a circle,
fill them with your closest friends, turn the heat up to about 90, pump in a metric ton of cigar
smoke, and then right in the middle of the room, and throw in a girl. But not a beautiful girl,
no if this girl was beautiful, it was 2 kids, 3 tattoos, and one pesky substance abuse problem
ago. Then she proceeds to do things that demean the groom, herself, and really, the entire hu-
man race. Back to May of 2007, Marshall tells Barney and Ted that he doesnt want that type of
bachelor party. Barney ignores Marshall and decides that he will hire the stripper and maybe he
can get the fourth one for free. Barney asks Marshall if he has problems with strippers that have
prosthetic arms.
2007: Ted tries to reason with Barney about the bachelor party, but Barney insists that he
wants strippers. Ted explains that he doesnt like the kind of strippers that Barney hires so
Barney tells him that he is going to get a better stripper. Ted tells him to promise to not hire
a stripper, but doesnt believe it when Barney promises. The guys get together and Older Ted
speaks about the group that has assembled: So when the day arrived, we all climbed into a
rented Escalade and set out. Now, every bachelor party is usually made up of the same stock
characters. Youve got the groom, the best man, the guy who speaks only in cliches, the guy who
disappears in the beginning of the night and doesnt show up until the end. And, of course, well,
Barney. Every bachelor party has a Barney. Barney brings out pornos for the guys to watch

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inside the vehicle. The same night, Aunt Lily was a having a wedding shower. And Robin showed
up gift in hand. Funny story about that gift. There is a flashback to where Robin got the gift.
She shows Barney the negligee that she got for Lily and Barney makes fun of her for not getting
something more racy. He then directs her to a better store to get something more appropriate.
And so Aunt Robin went to a store on Eighth Avenue and bought a battery-powered, adult-
recreational... Well, it was something inappropriate. And were back in. Back to the wedding
shower and Robin shows up to a shower with a bunch of old ladies whom Lily introduces as his
aunt and grandmother. Robin is concerned about her gift and then meets Lily. She tries to guess
what the present is, but doesnt get it right and adds the gift to the pile. Lily then introduces
her cousin who is becoming a nun. Back to the guys in the Escalade and they are watching the
porno. Barney brings out five Cuban cigars for them to smoke, but not until they get to Atlantic
City. Marshall tells them that they are not going to Atlantic City, so Barney talks to Ted and
tells him that he has a stripper waiting for them in Atlantic city. Ted tells Barney that they are
going to Foxwoods, watching a boxing match, eating a huge steak, and playing craps. Barney is
upset. They show up at the hotel and when they walk into the hotel room, they see a stripper.
They have to hurry because the fight starts soon, but the stripper makes them sign releases for
their time together. At the wedding shower, Robin tries to telepathically tell Lily to not open her
gift during the party, but Lily misunderstands her and tells her mother to give her a tampon.
When Robin tries to take the gift out of the pile, the future nun stops her. Older Ted: As many
times as Robin told this story over the years, she would never quite be able to explain he logic of
her next move. Robin exchanges the card from another gift packaged with the same wrapping
paper. At the bachelor party, the stripper has a smoke machine and starts the show. Older Ted:
Of course, theres no way Im gonna tell you about her show. So lets skip ahead a little. One
minute later, the stripper is being carried out of the hotel room with a broken ankle. Marshall
yells at Barney for making him spend his bachelor party in the hospital.
On the way to the hospital, they fight about how they are missing the fight, but when they turn
it on, they hear that the knockout was history in the making. At the wedding shower, the future
nun hands Lily Robins present and the card states that it from Lilys grandmother. Older Ted:
Okay, something you need to know. Grandma Lois thought she was giving her granddaughter
an antique sewing machine. And were back in. Lilys grandmother explains how generations in
her family have used what she is getting as a present. At the hospital, the stripper comes out and
meets up with the guys and tells them that her ankle is broken. She gives a sob story, but Barney
doesnt care. Marshall tells her that she doesnt have to finish the show, but she gets very upset
and they go back to the hotel room to continue. Back to the wedding shower, Lilys grandmother
is still telling her about how they used to use the gift she was giving her and how the men even
used it once in a while. Lily opens the present and when Lily sees it, she is disgusted because
of all of the stories that her grandmother told her. Her grandmother offers to show her how to
use it, but Robin stops her from taking it out of the package and explains herself. Lilys family
gathers around to see what it is and when Lilys mother sees it, she brings up Sex and the City
and how it was like the one they had on the show. Older Ted: And then the night became a
whole new kind of uncomfortable. Lilys mother even asks Robin where to get one.
The guys are eating their big steak and not having any fun because of the stripper. Barney
wonders if he put out the cigar and it turns out that he didnt and there was a small fire in their
room. Older Ted: it was a small fire, not even big enough to force an evacuation of the hotel, but
definitely big enough to get us kicked out, and bring Marshalls bachelor party to an early end.
They got kicked out and then found the guy that leaves at the beginning of the party and you
meet up with him at the end on the side of the street, naked, so they picked him up. The guys
meet up with the girls at the bar and they recount their night and Marshall starts yelling at him
for not being a good friend. Marshall mentions that he doesnt even want them to get married.
Lily tells a story about when they had broken up during the summer and left the bar because he
didnt want to hear the story. He flew and stopped by Lilys apartment and tells Lily to fly back
home and get married because Marshall was depressed without her. He gives her a plane ticket
and tells her to go home. He then walks off telling her that if she tells the story, he will deny it
and back in 2007, he doesnt deny it. Ted suggests that Barney be his best man and Barney rubs
it in Teds face, but Marshall suggests that he and Ted are co-best men.
Lily thanks Robin for the gift and tells her that she doesnt really want, but when Robin tells
her that she will take it, they go back and forth and eventually Lily keeps the gift, telling her to

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

leave it.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Showdown
Season 2
Episode Number: 42
Season Episode: 20

Originally aired: Monday April 30, 2007


Writer: Gloria Calderon Kellett
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Alan Finkelstein (Price is Right Contestant #1), Lisa Hoggatt (Price is
Right Contestant #2), Rachel Reynolds (Herself), Bob Barker (Himself),
Rich Fields (Himself), Sharon Madden (Milly), Tanner Maguire (Young
Barney)
Production Code: 2ALH20
Summary: Thinking that Bob Barker may be his father, Barney is overjoyed to be
a contestant on The Price is Right. Marshall and Lily try sleeping apart
prior to the wedding.

Older Ted: In the weeks leading up to


Aunt Lily and uncle Marshalls wedding,
some weird stuff started happening.
2007: Lily mentions that her stomach
is hurting and Marshall feels the same
thing too. Barney offers that they are co-
dependent and gives an example. Bar-
ney asks about their plan to not sleep to-
gether for two weeks prior to the wedding,
but Marshall tries to give them excuses.
When everyone else challenges them to
sleep apart until the wedding, they reluc-
tantly agree. Lily is talking to her mom
and is freaking out about what her mother suggested for music. Marshall and Barney are play-
ing XBox 360 and Lily asks Marshall to not forget to pack her night-night tape. Barney makes
fun of it. When Lily mentions things that are on her wedding registry, Barney takes the opportu-
nity to brush up on his price guessing skills. Barney then tells Ted that he is going to be on The
Price is Right.
Everyone is excited for him and he tells them about the reason why The Price is Right is an
awesome show. Older Ted: The Lily headed out to Robins for her first night away from Mar-
shall. Lily tries on her wedding dress and practices her wedding march, but there is a wardrobe
malfunction and Lilys dress falls down since it is a sleeveless gown. Older Ted: Meanwhile, I
was testing my best man toast on Marshall. Ted begins his toast and in it he recounts when
Marshall got pulled over for driving in a carpool lane. The police thought that he was by himself,
but Lily sat up, but Marshall doesnt think that it is an appropriate story to tell at his wedding
since his family will be attending. Barney comes in hooting and hollering, but doesnt say what
he is so excited about. Barney finally explains that he is practicing for when he is called to be a
contestant on The Price is Right. Lily talks to the dress store and tells them that she has lost too
much weight and needs her dress fixed. Robin explains that she will just have to eat whatever
she wants to gain weight. Robin and Lily leave to raid Robins kitchen. Ted tries his toast again,
but adds in a story about them being high on drugs, which is when Marshall first told Lily that he

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

loved her. Marshall tells him that he cant tell that story because his mom will be disappointed.
The guys meet up with the girls at the bar and Ted is surprised that they were apart for one
night and didnt greet each other excitedly. Older Ted: Now, the one thing I remember about the
bar menu at McLarens is that there were no fewer than 11 different deep-fried appetizers. That
night, Aunt Lily ordered all of them. Barney joins the group at the table with a wheel from a bike
and tests out his wheel turning abilities. When he gets close, he gets upset at himself and says
that close wont get him into the Showcase Showdown. Barney explains that the reason why he
is going on The Price is Right and he thinks that his father is Bob Barker.
Everyone is confused as to why he thinks that Bob Barker is his father so he explains that his
mother told him. His plan is to tell Bob Barker that he is his son, but no one believes him. Robin
interrupts and tells them that she is in charge of making Lily gain weight. Lily weighs herself at
the apartment and she has lost 1 pound, so Robin makes her shove her face full of fudge. Ted
then tries to go over another story in his toast which includes them drinking milk at the bar.
Marshall thanks his parents for teaching him good values and that you dont have to drink to
have fun. Older Ted: Now, I wasnt supposed to hear this next part, but Marshall leaned over
to Lily and whispered. He whispered that he would like to hold her hand, but in a sexual way.
Older Ted: A little later, Robin caught them holding hands. Ted finishes his story and Marshall
thinks the toast is too boring. Lily gives up trying to gain weight and Marshall has pains in his
stomach. Then, two weeks later, Ted gives his toast and it explains how he was having a hard
time trying to tell the perfect Lily and Marshall moment. Ted tells them that the perfect Lily and
Marshall moment happened two nights prior to the wedding. Marshall was sneaking out of the
house to spend time with Lily and they ate and ate to help Lily get into her dress. Ted tells them
that it is great that after 10 years, they still couldnt spend a night apart. Older Ted: Now, kids,
the story about Aunt Lily and Uncle Marshalls wedding is a good one. No matter how perfectly
you plan your...
You know, wait a second, guys. Im gonna get to that. First, Ive got to tell you what happened
with Barney. Barney is on The Price is Right and Bob Barker calls up Barney. He runs down
the aisle and he thanks Bob, but accidentally says Dad. Barney bids $1,350 for the watch and
then won a camcorder. The games continue and Barney bids on a computer and shows Bob some
home photos. When Barney is about to spin the big wheel, Bob calls him son. Barney spins
the wheel and he gets $1.00. Barney asks if Bob is proud of him, and Bob says yes. During the
Showcase Showdown, Barney passes on the first showcase and then bids $18,421. The actual
retail price of the showcase for the first one is under the bid the lady gave, but Barney gets the
number right and wins both showcases. Barney congratulates Bob on 35 years on the show. Ted
asks why he didnt tell him and Barney explains that he didnt think that Bob could have handled
it. Barney gave Lily and Marshall the keys to the dune buggy that he won in the showcase.
With the camcorder that Barney gave them, Marshall makes the video of the night-night
song for her to play during their two weeks apart. Marshall begins the song and then stops and
asks Ted to join in with him when singing the Sha-la-la-la part.

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Something Borrowed
Season 2
Episode Number: 43
Season Episode: 21

Originally aired: Monday May 7, 2007


Writer: Greg Malins
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Joe Manganiello (Brad), David Burtka (Scooter), Bob Saget (Voice of
Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Rachelle Wood (Woman), P.J. Marino (Bartender), Meagen Fay (Janice),
Shulie Cowen (Andrea), Thomas Bethke (Gardener), Michael Mantell
(Ben), Candice Accola (Amy)
Production Code: 2ALH21
Summary: With everything going wrong on Lily and Marshalls wedding day, to
everyones surprise its confirmed bachelor Barney who tries to fix it
all.

Marshall and Lilys wedding day is


here. Both of them envisioned a small in-
timate wedding in the park, surrounded
by close friends with an acoustic gui-
tarist. However, the small intimate wed-
ding soon becomes a large elaborate wed-
ding, with all their relatives and then
some. Everything is going wrong for Lily.
Her high school boyfriend Scooter shows
up to break off the wedding, her harp
player is in labor, and her flowers wont
be delivered in time for the ceremony.
Things arent going much better for Marshall. His hair goes from highlighted tips, to a large
bald patch right through the middle. Both Marshall and Lily need some time away from the wed-
ding action, so they go to a park accompanied by Robin, Ted, and Barney. There, Ted suggests
having the intimate wedding they always wanted. With Marshalls bald patch covered by a hat,
the small wedding begins, just with their close friends. Miraculously, even the acoustic guitarist
shows up, playing Jesus, Joy of Mans Desiring. Marshall and Lily are married by Barney, who
tries his hardest not to break into tears while officiating. Finally, Marshall and Lily are mar-
ried. They have their large church wedding, but according to Ted, that is not the wedding they
remember when they think back on the day. They remember the intimate park wedding.

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Something Blue
Season 2
Episode Number: 44
Season Episode: 22

Originally aired: Monday May 14, 2007


Writer: Craig Thomas, Carter Bays
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Marshall Manesh (Ranjit), Ron Nicolosi
(Mike)
Guest Stars: Mark Cirillo (Waiter), Gary Kraus (Wedding Videographer), K Callan
(Grandma Lois), Scoot McNairy (Fast Food Worker), Gattlin Griffith
(Boy), Toni Rossi (Waiter #2), Jeff Meacham (DJ)
Production Code: 2ALH22
Summary: Its still Marshall and Lilys big wedding day but now were at the recep-
tion. Robin tries to tell a story but keeps getting interrupted. Barney
tries his hardest to figure out Ted and Robins secret.

Marshall and Lilys wedding day has


gone smoothly so far, but all good days
have a glitch. While Robin and Ted are
discussing something, Barney overhears
them and makes it his duty to find out
what they are hiding. Their secret goes
from one thing to another. As they tell the
story of their anniversary four weeks ear-
lier, Barney is led to believe that they are
engaged, that they broke up, that Ted is
moving to Argentina with Robin, and that
Robin is pregnant. Finally, Barney learns
the real secret, that Ted and Robin have broken up. Meanwhile, Marshall and Lily havent had
one thing to eat at their own wedding. Both are starving, but Lily manages to find 4 strawberries,
each in a champagne glass, and she winds up very drunk. Marshall and Lily then leave for their
honeymoon, but make a quick stop for burgers, where Marshall hears an outsider refer to Lily
as his wife. Ted informs Barney that he is his wingman again.

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Season Three
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Wait For It...


Season 3
Episode Number: 45
Season Episode: 1

Originally aired: Monday September 24, 2007


Writer: Craig Thomas, Carter Bays
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Jason Segel
(Marshall Eriksen), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), David Henrie (Son), Lyndsy Fonseca
(Daughter)
Guest Stars: Enrique Iglesias (Gael), Mandy Moore (Amy), Amanda Loncar (Lydia),
Frank Alvarez (Steve), Donovan Dustin (Tyler)
Production Code: 3ALH01
Summary: We pick up from last year. Robin shows up with a date and this mo-
tivates Ted to get back out there. We also learn/learned something
major about the Mother.

Older Ted: Kids, theres more than


one story of how I met your mother. You
know the short version, the thing with
your moms yellow umbrella, but theres
a bigger story, the story of how I become
who I had to become before I could meet
her. And that story begins here. Bar-
ney finishes his saying of legendary and
then wants to set Ted up on a date with a
girl he knows. Ted tells Barney that he is
not ready, so Barney asks him when he
will be ready. Older Ted: It was a good
question. After a big relationship ends,
you need some time to recuperate. Robin took a trip to Argentina and I went through my usual
routine. I grew my break up beard, I repainted the apartment, and the truth is I was doing really
good. During Older Teds reminiscing, Barney interjected with several ideas for women Ted could
date, but he was not interested. At the bar, Robin shows up with a guy, Gael, which prompts Ted
to tell Barney that he is ready.
Marshall and Barney are playing video games and they are interrupted by Ted by telling them
that Robin is trying to win the break- up. Marshall doesnt think that she is trying to do that,
but Barney admits that she is trying to do the very thing Ted is accusing him of doing. They keep
thinking back to the time when they met Gael and they cant figure out how to pronounce his
name and they talk about what Gael does. Gael suggests that he can windsurf and have sex, but
Barney wants to know how it is possible to do that.
Barney tells them that he has done the research and it is not possible to have sex on a
windsurfing board. Lily had asked Gael if he would like to go eat with her and Marshall and
Marshall gripes at her about it. Marshall gets mad that Lily thinks that Gael is hot.
Before leaving for dinner, Robin asks Ted if he is ok with her going out with Gael. At the bar
when the others have left for dinner, Barney tells Ted that he will find Ted a better girl. When
Barney turns around, Ted is already making out with a girl.
Robin apologizes to Marshall and Lily for everything being awkward, but Marshall is agitated
about the situation and the whole thing becomes very uncomfortable when Gael begins to mas-
sage. Barney is trying to get Teds attention and tells him that he has figured out what they can

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do. Barney tells Ted to ditch Amy, the girl Ted was making out with, but Ted doesnt want to
leave her. Amy is mean to Ted and tells him to leave and calls him a nerd. Barney explains that
he is Teds wingman, but Ted isnt listening because he is making out with Amy again. Marshall
gripes about Gael, but when he walks back into the living room from the kitchen, he spots Lily
getting a massage from Gael. At the bar, Amy found Barney a girl and they decide to leave the
bar and go to Amys place which has a hot tub. Ted notices Amys tattoos and Amy thinks that
he should get some tattoos, but Barney complains and tells Amy no.
Suddenly, a little boy comes out of the house and sees them in the hot tub and then runs to
get his parents. The group has to run to get out of the peoples backyard. Barney gets upset with
all of the craziness and tells Ted that they are going to leave, but Ted daydreams about Robin
and Gael having sex on the windsurfing board. Ted decides to get a tattoo, Barney protests, but
Ted leaves in a cab. The girl that Barney is with asks him if he wants to have sex, so they run
off. Ted and Amy are in the tattoo parlor and Ted is discussing what tattoo he wants, but the
next thing he remembers is waking at home, alone. He looks for a tattoo, but doesnt look on the
small of his back.
Ted walks into the living room and tells them that he had an amazing night, but that he
almost got a tattoo but didnt. When Ted walks away, Lily and Marshall notice the tattoo, but
they dont tell Ted. When Ted walks out, they call Barney over and when Barney shows up, they
tell him about the tattoo, Barney almost faints when he sees the tattoo and Barney apologizes
for freaking out last night. Barney makes innuendos about a butterfly and then hits him on the
back, which makes Ted hurt. Then, Ted remembers what happened at the tattoo parlor. Amy tells
him about her break-up with Steve, which so happens to be the guy that is doing Teds tattoo.
Everyone laughs at Ted, but Ted is confused when he sees Spanish massage oil. Marshall and Lily
recount the previous night when Gael played the guitar and sang to them. Them Gael massages
Marshall and helps his self-esteem. Gael also feeds everyone sensually. They apologize to Ted
and Ted walks away mad out of the apartment. They then laugh about the tattoo. Ted shows up
at Robins apartment and complains to her about their break-up. Robin apologizes for showing
up with Gael, but she tells Ted that she was lonely and that is why she met Gael. Ted asks her
why she had to find someone so hot and that Ted cannot be better than Gael at anything, but
Robin tells Ted that he is bigger in the male anatomy section. At the bar, Ted announces that he
wins. Older Ted: Kids, I cant really remember what got me through the whole Robin and Gale
incident, Im sure it was something profound and meaningful and not at all macho and petty.
But after that, I was back on my feet and what followed was a new era in my life, a crazy time,
unlike anything that came before it. Its funny looking back on those days, knowing now exactly
what I was heading towards and what was heading towards me. In the crowd of people holding
umbrellas outside of the bar, there is one lady holding a yellow umbrella. Barney is in his office
when Marshall calls and he tells Barney to check his email. Marshall sent him a link to a website
to slapcountdown.com. Barney is petrified when it begins its countdown.

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Were Not From Here


Season 3
Episode Number: 46
Season Episode: 2

Originally aired: Monday October 1, 2007


Writer: Chris Harris (II)
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Neil Patrick
Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Enrique Iglesias (Gael), Nikki Griffin (Lindsay), Michaelle Nordin
(Colleen), Damon Gameau (Australian Backpacker), Darryl Sivad (Of-
ficer Roque)
Production Code: 3ALH02
Summary: Ted and Barney pretend to be visitors to New York City to pick up
women. Robin is still dating Gael. Marshall and Lily prepare letters to
each other to be read after their death.

Everyone is at the bar, except for


Robin, and Ted asks Marshall and Lily
if being married is different than before.
Marshall mentions that his hand hurts
because they are writing so many thank
you notes. Lily explains that they have to
fill out all of this information in case they
die. When Lily walks off, Marshall is con-
cerned that he didnt write his letter to
Lily in case he dies.
Barney tell him that he should hope to
not die before he can write the letter and
Marshall freaks out and tries to undo the
curse that they might have put on him for even mentioning that he might die. Older Ted: So after
Robin and I broke up, she needed some time away. Away from her normal home, her normal life,
and as it turns out, her normal self. Robin is in Argentina right after the wedding and she is
talking with her new group of people, including Gael and she has dreads in her hair. Robin is
showing her pictures from the trip and suggests that she has changed. Barney suggests that
she hasnt changed and Lily is shocked by the amount of naked people in Robins photo book.
Barney suggests that Robin will get rid of Gael when she realizes who she is. When Gael shows
up, they start speaking more difficult words and Gael doesnt understand what they are talking
about, even though they are talking about Robin getting rid of Gael.
Marshall is having problems writing his letter to Lily if he dies and goes through many different
emotions while writing the letter.
When he finishes, he gets nosy and reads Lilys letter which happens to only be information
on what to do when she dies. At the bar, the girls are entranced by Gaels story about getting
injured by a shark. Ted and Barney are awed by his powers of wooing women.
Barney suggests that he is only getting the attention because he is a foreigner. They dress
up like out-of-towners and introduce themselves as visitors from Missouri. They ask the girls to
show them around the city and the girls agree to meet them. When Barney suggests that they
meet tomorrow in front of McLarens Pub, the girls downgrade the bar. Lily and Robin are in the
bar and talk about Robins relationship with Gael. Robin tells Lily that she is getting annoyed by

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things that she used to like about him. She gives several examples, like when he feeds her food,
when he tells her that he wants to have sex, and that she still has sand everywhere. Lily suggests
that she is changing back to the person she was before, but Robin doesnt want to change. When
Robin is in the shower, a strange man shows up in the bathroom, but when Robin walks into
the living room, she finds that Gael has invited his friends over and they are staying indefinitely.
Lily asks Marshall to sign a thank you card, but Marshall gets testy and finally tells her that he
knows what she wrote in her death letter. Lily is offended that he read the letter and they pause
to notice that this is their first fight since they got married, but Marshall still walks out. Older
Ted: Kids, when you visit New York, there are countless fun things to do, but yet Colleen and
Lindsay took us to Tater-Skinz. The girls explain that this is their favorite restaurant in the city,
but the guys arent impressed. When the girls get up to leave to go to the bathroom, the guys
talk about their day. Barney thinks that the date is cool, but Ted thinks that it is a horrible date.
Barney tells Ted that they are going to get with the women if they can just keep up the charade.
The girls return and invite the guys to a party and Barney quickly accepts.
Robin is trying to be nice to her guests, but they dont want to listen and/or abide by her
guidelines for harmonious living. She tells them that the kitchen sink is for dishes, marijuana
is illegal in the US, but when she gets to number three, she is interrupted by their cheering for
their team that is playing on the TV. Number three is to keep the noise down. In the cab, Barney
is keeping up the ruse about them being out-of-towners, but Ted is messing it up by suggesting
that they take a different route. The girls tell them that they are taking them to a party in the
South Bronx and Ted is concerned. They get stopped by cops and they tell the cop that they were
beaten up by three guys. Marshall asks Lily for an apology, but Lily refuses and tells Marshall
that she cant write it because she is afraid to be without him. Lily finally agrees to write the
letter with a little dirty stuff. Ted wants Barney to leave and go home, but Barney wants to have
thank God were alive sex and thinks that they will get it. Ted agrees and the girls rejoin the
boys and suggest that they return to Amys house. They tell them that they are from New Jersey
and suggest that it is close to New York, but Ted gets very upset that they are not New Yorkers
and Ted actually lives in New York and is not willing to go to New Jersey. Barney keeps up the
charade and tries to go home with the girls, but the girls leave with the police officer.
Robin is trying to sleep, but is interrupted by Argentinean Robin who wonders why she has
changed. Argentinean Robin annoys the real Robin and tells her that she is not the real her and
is just her on vacation. Argentinean goes in for a kiss with the real Robin, but Robin wakes up
and orders all of Gaels people to leave the apartment. Robin gets out her gun and threatens
them and they retreat. Robin breaks up with Gael. Older Ted: After they broke up, Robin went
back to being Robin. Barney welcomes her and Robin tells him that Argentinean Robin knows
what she likes in her dreams.
Lily finishes her letter and asks Marshall to promise not to open the letter. Older Ted: And
through 22 wonderful years of marriage, Marshall kept his promise until November 1st of last
year (2029), sadly...
Marshall opens the letter and it is a letter that says that Marshall sucks since he read the
letter. Lily walks in and yells at him for opening the letter, but Marshall complains that she didnt
put any pictures in there. Lily offers to take the pictures now (in 2029), but Marshall doesnt want
pictures taken now. Lily gets offended.

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Third Wheel
Season 3
Episode Number: 47
Season Episode: 3

Originally aired: Monday October 8, 2007


Writer: David Hemingson
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky),
Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick
Harris (Barney Stinson)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), David Henrie (Son), Lyndsy Fonseca
(Daughter)
Guest Stars: Danica McKellar (Trudy), Busy Philipps (Rachel), Neil Jackson (Ian),
Melissa Ordway (Woman #1), Chantelle Berry (Woman #2), Christine
Woods (Waitress)
Production Code: 3ALH04
Summary: Teds new attitude attracts women in the present and one from his
past. The rest of the gang pulls together to help him make the most of
the situation.

Older Ted - Kids, I know you think


that you have heard every story from
back before I met your mother, but there
are some stories you tell and some stories
that you dont. Ted calls Barney and tells
him that he is going to go for the belt and
they flashback to half an hour ago when
Ted left the apartment. Barney and Mar-
shall are too busy playing tennis on the
Wii and they tell him to go without him
until the game is over. Lily lends Robin
her boots and tells them that she is not
shaving her legs for the first three dates.
When Ted calls Barney, he is told that they arent going to show up and runs into Trudy who he
had slept with 2 years ago.
They start talking and when Trudy wants to spend more time with him, she runs into Rachel,
an old sorority sister. They walk away talking to each other and Ted turns to his beer. Luckily,
Rachel returns and asks him to join them.
At the apartment, Barney and Marshall are still playing tennis on the Wii and they get a call
from Ted who tells them that he thinks that Rachel likes him, too. Ted asks Barney who he
should go for and Barney tells him to go after Rachel since she is new. Lily grabs the phone and
tells him that she will show up at the bar and help him decide. The girls are talking to him and
Lily calls him to tell him that since both of the girls are playing with their hair, it is a sure sign
that they are both into him. Then, there is a scene that shows Robin flirting with her date while
playing with her hair. Lily tells Ted to go after either one and lets him go because Robin is calling.
Robin tells Lily that she needs to shave her legs since she really likes the doctor she is on the
date with. Lily offers to find out if he is good or not and rushes off to meet him, but first she
stops by the apartment and tells the guys that both girls like Ted. Ted calls Barney and tells him
that they want a tricycle. Ted and Barney ordered a belt and made a belt (a wrestling belt) that
whoever had a tricycle first, would get it. Barney asks him some questions about the age and
weight of the participants and asks if he paid the girls. When he walks out of the bathroom, he

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offers to take the girls upstairs to his apartment. Lily told Marshall that he cant have a tricycle
even if she has died, so he tries to find a situation where it would be ok. Robin calls Lily and tells
her that she is still waiting for the razor, but Lily tells her that she cant leave. Robin asks the
waitress if she can get a razor for $20 and the waitress tells her that she can get one for $50. Ted
and the girls come up to the apartment and text Barney, Marshall, and Lily beforehand and tell
them that he is coming up. They all run around trying to find someplace to hide. The girls are
impressed with his apartment and they decide to listen to music.
Ted goes into the bedroom and finds his friends in there. Ted asks Barney to give him the
cd that was next to him and Barney picks it up and breaks the cd. Barney tells Ted that he
cant ride on the tricycle first since it rightly belongs to him. While they are arguing, Lily walks
out of the bedroom and notices that the girl with blonde hair is the girl that she has to wrestle
with to get the boots that Robin borrowed for her date. Ted offers to pay for full retail price for
the boots if he can use their bedroom since they are all in Teds bedroom. Lily agrees and the
waitress comes back with the razor, but not any shaving cream and they argue about that. Her
date is ready to leave and she goes into the bathroom to shave her legs. The soap is out of the
dispenser so Robin decides to pick up the butter off of a table and use that as the shaving cream.
Ted is sitting on the couch with the girls when he starts thinking of the belt and suddenly finds
himself saying that he will get their coats. Barney tells them that the reason why his probable
tricycle was derailed is because he dropped his wineglass on the carpet while he was about to
ride the tricycle. Barney tells Ted that it is his destiny to ride on the tricycle and gives him steps
to enable himself to ride the tricycle. Ted is pumped up by Barney and they all do a group hug
before Ted goes out to the girls. When he walks into the living room, he doesnt see the girls,
but hears them giggling from Marshall and Lilys room. At the bar, afterward, Barney asks Ted
if he went through with it and Ted wont tell him. Barney drives himself crazy with wondering
if Ted did it. The doctor asks the waitress to check on Robin for him and when she looks into
the bathroom, she finds Robin on the floor. The waitress closes the bathroom door and walks off
with the doctor, flirting with him. Robin comes out of the bathroom and faints again.

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Little Boys
Season 3
Episode Number: 48
Season Episode: 4

Originally aired: Monday October 15, 2007


Writer: Kourtney Kang
Director: Rob Greenberg
Show Stars: Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky),
Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick
Harris (Barney Stinson)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Brad Rowe (George), Deanna Russo (Brooke Bartholomay), Janet Var-
ney (Stacey Gusar), Olivia Howard Bagg (11-Year-Old Robin), Pamela
Darling (Four-Year-Old Katie), Nicholas Roget-King (Doug)
Production Code: 3ALH03
Summary: Barney and Ted fight over getting the same girl; Robin pretends to like
her new boyfriends son

Older Ted - It was Saturday night in


New York City and the young metropoli-
tan set was out on the town, living the
kind of crazy lifestyle you can only find
in the Big Apple. Everyone is in the
apartment and Lily tells Robin about a
guy that she wants to set her up with.
Then, the guys tell Robin that there has
to be a but to the set-up and then there
are flashbacks to other set-ups that had
buts. Lily tells Robin that there is noth-
ing wrong with him and she tells him that
the guy has a kid. Ted tells them that
Robin doesnt like kids and she reassures everyone that kids are not a problem.
Barney meets up with Ted at the bar and comes up with a crazy story about cobras and
babies. After Robins date with George, she meets up with Lily and tells her about the date.
Robin finds out that he won custody of the kid and is appalled that she didnt know that winning
is getting the kid. Back at the bar, the guys argue about who has the best game and Marshall
thinks that he has the best game because he is married. Barney challenges Ted to whoever can
seal the deal with a girl first has the best game. They pick a girl to go after and Barney beats
Ted at the girl and gets slapped. When Barney comes back to the table, Ted is happy and decides
that the bet is for $1 million. Barney explains that he has already slept with her and when she
starts to leave, Ted runs after her.
While doing nothing, Marshall gets a girls number as she walks by. During Robins date, she
lies and tells him that she loves kids and when she gets flustered and cant think of any other
things to say about kids, she finally breaks down and explains that she doesnt like kids. He tells
Robin that he isnt looking for a mother for his son and they decide to take it slowly. A few days
later, the guys kid, Doug, shows up and starts bothering Robin while she is reading her paper.
Ted started to date Stacey, the girl from the bar, when he starts to like her. Ted meets up with
Barney and tells him about her. Marshall shows back up to the bar tells them that he has run
the numbers and they will have had sex 1,053 times during the year, which is more than Barney
has ever had sex.
Barney decides that it doesnt count and Ted says that he has only counted as one time.
Barney gives his blessing and this was the only time that they have shared a woman. Barney

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

keeps talking about Ted and that he is getting seconds. Robin shows up and tells Lily that Doug
thinks that she is pretty cool. Robin tells Lily that a relationship is more serious with a kid, but
Lily explains that it is too late since he drew a picture of Robin with the words, My New Mommy.
Lily tells Robin that she is always running away when things get too serious, but Robin tells her
that it is not her in the picture. At the bar, Lily brings the picture and the guys agree that it
is Robin and that she has to break up with the kid also. While kissing Stacey, Ted thinks of
Barney crawling all over her and is freaked out. Robin shows up at Georges apartment and
Doug tells her that George is taking a shower so George tells Robin a poem that he wrote her.
Robin proceeds to break up with Doug, but then Robin walks out of the door, she runs into a
woman who is at the apartment for her date with George. Robin notices that the girl looks like
the picture and when the girl walks back to see George, Robin gets angry at Doug. Doug explains
that the picture is of the new girl, and the poem is, too. Ted joins Marshall and Barney at the
bar and tells Barney that he broke up with Stacey. Barney explains that he never slept with her
and then he proceeds to tell Ted about how he set him and accidentally ran into Stacey while
doing yoga and brought up things that Ted mentioned that she liked. Barney now can swoop in
and sleep with her to win the bet. Barney gets a call from Stacey who tells him that Ted just
broke up with her. Robin complains about being broken up with by a 6-year old kid. Older Ted:
Of course, Robin eventually made her peace with kids and, as you guys know, she went on to
appear in some very important works of art. Yours. Then, it shows pictures that Teds kids drew
of their Aunt Robin.

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How I Met Everyone Else


Season 3
Episode Number: 49
Season Episode: 5

Originally aired: Monday October 22, 2007


Writer: Gloria Calderon Kellett
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen),
Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), David Henrie (Son), Lyndsy Fonseca
(Daughter)
Guest Stars: Abigail Spencer (BlahBlah), Ray Auxais (Phil), Jolie Jenkins (Alexa),
Betsy Rue (Audrey)
Production Code: 3ALH05
Summary: Amid sharing stories with her about how members of the gang met
each other, Teds hot new girlfriend has a reaction to the meeting that
gets her a high ranking on Barneys crazy scale.

Older Ted: Back in the fall of 2007,


I was dating this girl named, oh God,
what was her name? Its been twenty-
three years, I cant remember all of this
stuff. For the sake of the story, lets call
her...
Ted introduces her as Blah-Blah and
she wants to be called Blah. Blah ex-
plains that they met at a cooking class
and that it was magical. Older Ted: But
it wasnt. Ted tells the guys before they
meet Blah, he tells them that they met
online. Ted tells Barney that she is hot,
but not crazy, which causes Barney to explain the hot/crazy scale and that there is a propor-
tional ratio of hot to crazy. Barney refers to it as the Vickie Mendoza line for a girl his dated in
high school.
Barney doesnt know if he wants to play along with the story and then they flash forward
to when Blah is telling them that she met Ted in a cooking class. Ted decides to get the heat
off of how they met and asks Marshall and Lily to describe how they met. Older Ted: When
youve been a couple as long as Marshall and Lily, telling the how we met story becomes a
choreographed dance. Lily begins telling the story and they met in their freshman year of college
at the beginning of the year. They both say that it was love at first sight. Older Ted: Now, theyve
perfected that story over hundreds of tellings. The first time Marshall told me, it was a little
different. Marshall and Ted are playing video games and Marshall tells Ted that he met this
goth-chick and it wasnt as romantic as they tell it now. Blah tells them that when her and Ted
first met, she tells them that she just knew that Ted would give her a rose on the roof and he did.
When Blah gets up to buy drinks, they talk about her and Ted tells them that she is not crazy,
just nervous.
Blah asks how Robin and Barney met, but Robin says no sixteen times, which upsets Barney
that she had to say it that many times.
Ted then directs Blahs attention to how he and Marshall met. Older Ted: Kids, in order to
understand this story, you need to know that your Uncle Marshall was doing something that lots

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

of college kids do, how do I say this, he was, uh, lets say eating a sandwich. He was trying to
hide the sandwich and Ted walks into the room, but he thinks that he is the dean because a
guy ran down the hall and told Marshall that the dean was coming. Ted introduces himself and
Marshall still thinks that Ted is the dean until Ted puts down his stuff on the top bunk and
tells Marshall that he is his new roommate. Marshall gets upset because he thinks that he is the
dean. Marshall later finds out that Ted is not the dean when he finds Ted eating a sandwich.
Blah tells them that she has started her own line of handbags and Barney tells her that it is
crazy and asks Robin if she has ever sold anything in Japan.
Blah keeps on talking about Robin and Ted having something going on between them, so
Ted interrupts her and makes Barney tell the story of how they met. Barney and Ted are in the
bathroom when Ted starts talking to him about his mom being dead and his brother being deaf.
Barney is surprised that Ted bought the story and that he is going to use that story on a girl at
the bar. Later on that night, Barney decides to tell Ted how to be a cool guy and uses Ted to be
his deaf brother. They begin to sign back and forth and the girl leaves her number to Barney, but
Ted tells him that he actually told the girl to give Barney a fake number. The girl freaks out when
Barney tells Ted that at least he didnt meet her in a lame way like online. Ted tells her that it is
ok and meeting people across the room is not the way people meet anymore. Barney interrupts
and tells him that it is the way that Ted and Robin met and the girl asks Ted questions about
his and Robins relationship. Robin tells Blah that it was her problem, but Blah gets upset and
Barney recaps the night on the Vickie Mendoza graph. Blah thinks that Robin is talking about
her and Ted is just using her to make Robin jealous. Blah tells Ted a secret and then there is a
flashback to when Ted and Lily met during the first year at college.
Marshall is drinking beer while standing upside down on top of a keg and Ted makes fun of
him. Ted hits on Lily and tells her that he has a girlfriend, but it is a long-distance relationship.
Lily kisses Ted and only went to their room, 110, because that is what she remembered from
their discussion of how Teds IQ is 110.
Blah brings up how Lily and Ted met and wants Lily to give them the real story. Lilys story is
where she met him in the dorm room.
Ted brings Lily to the side and tells Ted that Blah knows the real story, but Lily doesnt know
what he is talking about. When Blah fills in the story, Lily thinks that it was a random guy
that she made out with. Lily refuses to believe that it was Ted that she made out with. Barney
reminds Robin how they met him and it is when Barney is trying to set up Marshall with another
girl. Marshall asks who Barney is and Ted reminds him that they met in the bathroom and he is
annoying. Barney tells them that he is yoda and they should do whatever he tells them. Barney
spots a girl, but it turns out to be Lily, so Marshall plays it off. Barney gives him pointers on
how to land her even though she is much hotter than he is. Marshall and Lily begin kissing and
Barney is impressed.
After that, Marshall tells them that Barney was walking around and asking Marshall how to
pick up girls. When Ted, Blah, and Lily get back to the table, Blah tells Marshall that Lily and
Ted made out. Lily apologizes to Marshall and tells them what he remembers about the party and
suggests that they kissed different people, with her kissing too much tongue guy who wasnt
Ted. Marshall and Lily kiss, happy that they know that it wasnt Ted that she kissed. Ted tells
Blah that it must have been another girl and Blah gets upset because it seems that Ted has
made out with every girl. She picks up her handbag and tells them that she is a superstar and
she is writing a memoir. She then lets it out that they met while playing World of Warcraft online.
Barney is shocked that he was playing this game and then it flashes back to when they met while
playing the game. Older Ted: So suffice it to say, Blah Blah did not turn out to be your mother.
As for the girl I made out with at the party, there wasnt a doubt in my mind, it was your Aunt
Lily. But you know that magical story about how she and your Uncle Marshall met, it was worth
preserving, so I kept my mouth shut.
Until our 20th college reunion, when I ran into Alexa Leskeys. Ted and Alexa talk at the
reunion and Alexa reminds him of the party and when they kissed. Ted rushes over to tells her
the good news and Alexa tells him that he was too much tongue guy. Marshall, Lily, and Ted
eat a sandwich and realize that they cant eat as much as they could before.

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Im Not That Guy


Season 3
Episode Number: 50
Season Episode: 6

Originally aired: Monday October 29, 2007


Writer: Jonathan Groff (II)
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Charlene Amoia (Wendy)
Guest Stars: Jacqui Holland (Woman), Jim Jansen (Doctor), Bill J. Stevens (Fan-
tasy Jefferson Coatsworth), John Cho (Jeff Coatsworth), Frank Crim
(Leonard Ross), Sharon Brathwaite (Clerk), Kevin Heffernan (Ted
Mosby Porn Star), Mary Alice Kania (Walk of Shame Woman)
Production Code: 3ALH06
Summary: Marshall has to contemplate giving up his plan of using his law degree
to help the planet when hes courted by a major firm; Lily reveals a
secret to Robin that not even Marshall knows; Ted discovers a porn
actor is using his name

Older Ted: It was a quiet November


afternoon in 2007. I was working from
home, because, you know, no distrac-
tions. Barney and Marshall come into
the living room freaking out where Ted
is trying to work. Barney tells his news
first and informs Ted that there is a
porno with an actor named Ted Mosby.
Marshall tries to tell his story, but Ted
is stuck on the news that Barney told
him and thinks back to his doctors visit
and how it makes much more sense. Ted
thinks that the doctor watched the movie
and made comments to him. Barney puts the porno in the DVD player, but Marshall insists on
telling his news and blurts out that he got a job at the NRDC (The Natural Resources Defense
Council). Older Ted: The NRDC, or The Natural Resources Defense Council, fought to preserve
Americas clean water, fresh air, and pristine wilderness. It was Marshalls dream job. They are
hugging when the porno comes on and they want to see Ted Mosby in the porno. Marshall tells
Lily the good news and Lily is excited for him, but Barney wants to tell his good news. Robin
watches the movie for a little bit and says that ...that Ted Mosby really knows what he is doing,
which offends Ted. Robin tries to cover her tracks and quickly changes the subject to Marshalls
job. Lily asks if Marshall is going to still go on the job interview at a big law firm that stood for
everything that the NRDC was trying to stop. Marshall tells him that he doesnt want to go on the
job interview. They finally see the Ted Mosby in the movie and think that they may be related.
At the bar, the waitress makes a crack at him in a porno. Barney looks up Ted Mosby on his
phone and finds out that he has only been working for 3 months and has made about 142 movies.
Barney tells them that he gave an interview for a magazine, but Ted remembers a time when a
magazine called and he thought that it was an architecture magazine. Ted tells him what he is
working on at work and uses some sexual innuendo when talking to the man. Marshall returns
to the bar and tells them about his interview at the big law firm. The guy that was interviewing

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him, Jeff Coatsworth, gave him a beer and realizes that he is only there interviewing because
his father got him an interview and he knew that he already got a job at the NRDC. Barney tells
Marshall that this is a classic technique to seduce women that he uses. Barney suggests that he
got asked to dinner and Marshall admits that he did and tells them that he doesnt want to go
to dinner. Robin tells Ted that the porno Ted lists his hometown as the same hometown as their
Ted. He will be at a convention that is coming to town and is related to the sex industry. Jeff
shows Marshall the offer that they are willing to give him and talk about his extras on top of the
salary. They see Patrick Swayze at the restaurant, but Marshall tries to tell him that he doesnt
want to take the job, but Jeff tells him that the NRDC doesnt pay as much. Older Ted: It was
turning into a tough decision. Now, kids, when Im facing a tough decision, I like to get out the
old yellow legal pad and make a list of pros and cons. Marshall knew all the cons, but there was
one thing he didnt know, a big item in the pros column, because Robin was about to ask Lily the
one question that Lily had been dreading for years. Robin asks Lily where she gets the money
for all of the clothes she buys. Older Ted: Thats when Lily showed Robin her box of shame.
Lily dumps out a bunch of credit cards on the coffee table and Lily tells her that she doesnt
know how much she owes. Ted and Barney arrive at the adult film convention and Barney wants
to hurry up and get out, but Barney wants to stay and reminds him that people thought that
Shakespeare was crude and disgusting. Barney tells Ted that people will be reenacting some
adult films in high school just like they do with Shakespeare.
Robin is astonished by the amount of debt and Lily explains that when she is sad, she shops.
Lily tells Robin that Marshall doesnt know about her debt, which makes Robin fill in the blanks
to Lilys questions about Marshalls job choice earlier. Lily feels bad about it, but Robin tells her
that she has to tell Marshall and he has to take the job. Lily brings up a sale, but Robin tells her
no.
Ted spots Ted Mosby and they introduce themselves. He tells him that his real name is Steve
Biel. He then tells Ted about a story that happened during school when he was getting beaten
up. Ted asks him to stop using his name and the guy feels like an idiot for thinking that Ted was
happy about it. Ted tells him that the real guy who saved him was Lance Hardwood. Ted Mosby
thinks that thinks is a great name, but wants to have it as a movie name. After spending time
with Jeff, Marshall walks home in the morning and tells Lily that she took the job. He begins
apologizing to him and asks how much money he will be getting paid. Lily sees the paper and
imagines herself lying in a pile of shoes. Marshall feels guilty for selling out his dream for money.
The guys tell Marshall to stop screaming and Barney suggests that money equals happiness.
Robin wants Lily to tell him that she has tons of debt and finally Lily musters up the courage to
tell him. Marshall is excited that she will help him make the decision, but she tells him that he
should take the job at the NRDC. Marshall walks off to tell Jeff and Lily tells Robin that she will
figure everything out. Marshall calls Jeff from a pay phone, but Jeff pulls in a limo and takes
him to an amusement park. At the park, Marshall breaks the bad news to Jeff and Jeff realizes
that he was going to turn down the offer. Then, on the ferris wheel, Jeff tells Marshall that his
only client was to be the amusement park. Marshall tells everyone at the bar that he took the job
and that he will be representing the park. In a jump to the future, Older Ted shows newspaper
articles where the park was involved in scandals throughout the years.
Barney shows up with the adult film named Lance Hardwood: Sex Architect and it shows
Ted Mosby working on a computer. Ted points out that it looks like their apartment and Barney
explains that it is their apartment. In the movie, when they move to the couch, everyone jumps
off of the couch in horror of what happened there.

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Dowisetrepla
Season 3
Episode Number: 51
Season Episode: 7

Originally aired: Monday November 5, 2007


Writer: Brenda Hsueh
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick
Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), David Henrie (Son), Lyndsy Fonseca
(Daughter), Charlene Amoia (Wendy)
Guest Stars: Maggie Wheeler (Margaret), April Bowlby (Meg), Phill Lewis (Loan Of-
ficer), Rhomeyn Johnson (Cab Driver), Megan Bower (Persephone),
Kaliya Skye (Daphne)
Production Code: 3ALH07
Summary: Marshall and Lilys plan to buy an apartment is hampered by mistakes
and Lilys hidden debt; Barney claims to love commitment to seduce a
girl

Older Ted: Kids, everyone makes mis-


takes. Take this girl Meg for instance, she
made a mistake, a mistake named Bar-
ney. Meg and Barney are at the bar and
she talks about how her last boyfriend
had commitment problems, so Barney
tells her that he is not afraid of com-
mitment. Barney tells Ted about the girl
and describes everything about her, espe-
cially her top half. Older Ted: When you
get married, you start out-growing cer-
tain parts of your life and for Lily and
Marshall, those certain parts were, for the
most part, me. Lily walks in on Ted shaving his downstairs region. Marshall and Lily get upset
at Ted and their friends constantly being there and Marshall finally cracks and says that they
are moving out. Older Ted: But still it was time to move forward, so they set out to find a new
apartment to rent. At the bar, Marshall looks online and finds an older place, but it is for sale,
not for rent. Older Ted: Kids, your Uncle Marshall likes to say that he made three big mistakes
in his life, this one was the first...
Marshall tries to fly off of the roof. ...this was the second... Marshall shaving his head before
his wedding. ...and this was the third and biggest. Marshall decides that they should buy the
apartment. Marshall tells Lily that the real estate is always a good investment, the real estate
market is really hot, and that they were doing really well financially because of his new job, but
Older Ted chimes in that these were untrue statements. Lily meets with a group at the shop-
a-holics meeting and tells them that she is a shop-a-holic. Marshall thinks that they are only
in debt because of his law school, but Marshall tells them that they should at least go and see
the place. They arrive at the apartment and the real estate agent tells them that Dowisetrepla is
an up and coming neighborhood, but Marshall tells her that the place is out of his price range,
but Older Ted says Is what Marshall should have said., but Marshall actually tells her that he
wants it.

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Ted comes over to the apartment to see it and Marshall envisions playing in a band with his
kids in the living room. Robin brings Lily to the side and tells her that they cant afford the place
because of Lilys debt, but Lily doesnt know how to dissuade him.
Robin thinks that they should tell him that it is haunted, but Lily tells her that he would
want it even more. Barney asks the real estate agent about the apartment and eventually the
real estate agent tells him the lock box combination. Barney tells Ted that he is going to use the
apartment to bring Meg back to so he wont have to see her anymore. The realtor tells Marshall
and Lily that there is another couple interested in the apartment, but Marshall tells the realtor
that he knows that trick, but Older Ted says Is what Marshall should have said., but Marshall
actually tells her that they really want it and will give them more money. Lily brings Marshall
to the side and tells him that it is probably not a good time to think about buying something.
Lily imagines her kids being two girls, painting in the living room, while speaking French. Lily
finally tells Marshall that they cant buy the apartment because of her debt, but Older Ted says
Is what she should have said., but Lily actually agrees to get the place and asks to charge it.
They all toast to Marshall and Lily buying an apartment. Marshall asks the waitress to bring the
huge bottle of champagne to the table. When the guys walk over to get the bottle, Lily tells Robin
that they will only get the apartment with Marshalls credit and Marshall wont have to find out
about the debt. When they bring the bottle back to the table, Ted is about to open the bottle and
Marshall tells him to be careful with the cork, but Older Ted says Is what Marshall should have
said., but Marshall actually says nothing and it hits her in the eye. Older Ted: Now, when you
are thinking of buying an apartment, it is always good to check it out at night. Barney brings
Meg over to the apartment and she is impressed with it. Barney tells Meg that the place needs
a lady, which makes Meg start to kiss him. Older Ted: The next day, Marshall and Lily went to
the mortgage broker to get a loan. Marshall asks the loan officer if he can get the money for the
apartment in singles so that he can lay in them. The loan officer asks Lily for her social security
number, but Lily gets defensive and asks why. Lily doesnt want to use her credit, but eventually
tells him. The loan officer tells them that their interest rate will be 18% and that they are lucky
to even get a loan. Marshall thinks that it is because of his student loan debt, but the loan officer
tells him that it is because of Lilys credit card debt. Marshall is stunned.
Ted tells Robin about having Meg over at the apartment and how he tells her that he loves
her. Barney tells her to get in the shower while he makes her waffles, but when she leaves, he
walks out. Ted tells them that there was a fight in the apartment and he knows because they
left signs in the apartment. He sees a water bottle with the label peeled off. He then says that
when Marshall gets angry, he eats and then finds an empty pint of ice cream on the floor of the
kitchen. Then, he finds Lilys used tissue and then sees Lilys bra in the couch when she tried
to kiss him. When Marshall runs off, he goes out the door and knocks a picture off center. Ted
thinks that they were fighting about peanut butter, but Robin explains that they didnt get the
loan because of Lilys debt. Ted doesnt believe the plan, but then checks the phone for the last
number called and finds out that it was a divorce lawyer.
They talk about who will get what friend when Marshall and Lily divorce over ice cream.
Marshall and Lily show up to the apartment and tell them that Marshall went to the bar and
drank some of the champagne out of the big bottle. Lily finds him and tells him that she talked
to a divorce lawyer so that they wont have to use her credit to get the apartment. Lily thinks that
this is the only way to get the apartment and proposes a divorce. Marshall refuses and tells her
that he married her problems also. The waitress shows up with a black eye. Marshall and Lily
tell the guys that they are not getting divorced and Barney is the happiest. Marshall tells them
that he called the realtor and told her that they werent going to take it, but Older Ted says Is
what Marshall should have said., but Marshall actually told her that they are taking it, with the
18% interest rate and all. Everyone thinks that they are crazy, but Older Ted says Is what we
should have said., but they actually congratulate them on getting their own place.
Marshall and Lily are driving to their apartment and are so excited until they step out of the
cab and smell a terrible smell. The cab driver explains that the neighborhood is downwind from
a sewage treatment plant. When the cab driver repeats what he said downwind of the sewage
treatment plant, they put the beginnings of the words together and come up with dowsietrepla
and they are terrified.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Spoiler Alert
Season 3
Episode Number: 52
Season Episode: 8

Originally aired: Monday November 12, 2007


Writer: Stephen Lloyd
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick
Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), David Henrie (Son), Lyndsy Fonseca
(Daughter)
Guest Stars: Lindsay Price (Cathy), Ron Butler (Proctor), Steve Little (Test Taker)
Production Code: 3ALH08
Summary: Marshall awaits his bar exam results; Ted introduces his latest girl-
friend to the gang, who all see the flaw that Ted has missed

Older Ted: The early bloom of a ro-


mance is a wonderful thing. You meet
someone, have a connection, and then
that person becomes sheer perfection in
your eyes. You just cant find anything
wrong with them, you cant wait to tell the
world about them. Ted is telling every-
one about Cathy and he tells them that
she has something in common with all
of them. Older Ted: So, we all went to
dinner and I couldnt wait to see if my
friends were as crazy about Cathy as I
was. When she asks people questions
about themselves, they get upset and give her short, annoyed answers. After the dinner, Ted
asks what their problem is with her, but Lily explains that they cant tell Ted since he cant see
what the problem is and they dont want to ruin her for him.
Ted asks Marshall, but he doesnt want to know. Older Ted: You see kids, during the summer
Marshall had taken the New York Bar exam. His years of school, his countless hours of study
had finally culminated in this grueling two-day ordeal. The pressure of it was enormous, every
year, people who were taking the bar simply cracked. But Marshall had made it through. When
the proctor comes to pick up the packet, Marshall fights him a little since he wants to finish what
he was writing. Now, months later, the results of that exam were scheduled to post online at 10
oclock and it was 9:59. Marshall is on the computer and complains that they are not online yet
and Lily tells him to calm down. When Marshall tells Robin that only half of the people pass, she
freaks out and thinks that it is crazy. Barney wants Ted to check out a video, but Marshall tells
him that he is waiting for the scores. When the scores are posted, he has to find the password
that he was given during the test and he cant find it. Marshall starts freaking out that he will
have to wait until the results come in the mail. Marshall calls several people that took the test
and talks to them about their scores and has to tell them that he doesnt know his since he lost
his password. Marshall tells Barney that he cannot wait until they come in the mail and Barney
tells him that he knows a guy who can hack into the results for the test.
Ted tells everyone that they were right and tries to get out of them what is wrong about her,
but he doesnt know what she did so wrong when he was gone for two minutes from the table.
Ted suggests different scenarios of what she could have said or done to give them the impression

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

that she is not good. Robin explains that she didnt really do anything specifically; it is just how
she is.
Lily explains that he doesnt see it since he is trying to have sex with her. Barney explains that
he had a situation similar and tells them the story, but it has nothing to do with what they are
talking about. Marshall decides that he will tell him that she talks a lot. Robin asks Ted to think
about the dinner and he rewinds it in his mind and realizes that how he recollected the events
left out a lot of talking between her asking the question and getting the answer. Older Ted: And
just like that, the illusion was shattered. Ted is stunned that he never noticed and agrees that
she never shuts up.
Older Ted: So kids, this girl I was dating would not stop talking. Could you imagine how
awful that is? During the opening sequence, there were scenes of Ted and Cathy hanging out
together and having a great time, but now those scenes show Cathy constantly talking. Ted is
upset at Marshall for telling him and for not knowing that he wouldnt want to know. Ted wants
to think about the good things about her. Marshall tells Ted that he could get used to things that
annoy you in the beginning. Ted reminds Marshall that Lily chews loudly and that is why he calls
her Chewbacca. Marshall then thinks about certain instances when Lily is chewing and then he
hears her being loud. Marshall tells him that it doesnt matter, but Older Ted says that It did.
And after that, her chewing is amplified and he finally brings it up to her. Marshall tells Lily that
Ted brought it to his attention. Lily tells Robin and Robin asks Lily to stop chewing so much and
that she really is loud. Lily gets mad at Ted and she tells Robin that most of the time that Ted
is talking to you, he is correcting you. Robin goes back on other circumstances and realizes that
Lily is right. Marshall is trying to find food to eat and Barney shows up with the disk with the
scores on it. Barney tells Marshall that using the disk is in violation of several different laws.
Barney goes on the internet and finally gets to the site that is showing the video that he wanted
him to see earlier. Ted walks into the living room and hangs up on Cathy while she is talking.
Robin gets testy when she wants water, not a drink and Ted corrects her. Ted tells Robin that
she uses the word literally all of the time.
Marshalls problem is that he sings what is doing. Marshall tries to talk about Barneys annoy-
ing habit and comes up with that he talks in a high-pitched voice, uses annoying catch-phrases,
spaces out and doesnt hear what they say. They all then start annoying each other with the
things that annoy others. Finally, Robin reminds Marshall of a song that he kept on singing
about aobcd8663, which turns out to be the password to see his scores for the bar exam. They
all run to the computer and Barneys video pops up.
Marshall passed the test. Older Ted: And just like that, we stopped fighting and celebrated
Marshalls success. You see, when someones bad habits are pointed out to you, its hard to
ignore them, but if you love them enough, they are easy to forget. Three years later, I ran into
Cathy and she was doing well. She introduces him to her new boyfriend, Daniel, who is deaf.
Ted points out that they are perfect for each other and then signs that she talks a lot to Daniel.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Slapsgiving
Season 3
Episode Number: 53
Season Episode: 9

Originally aired: Monday November 19, 2007


Writer: Matt Kuhn
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson),
Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Orson Bean (Bob), Eben Ham (Young Bob)
Production Code: 3ALH09
Summary: As Marshall and Lily prepare to host their first Thanksgiving as hus-
band and wife, Barney eyes Marshalls Slap Bet Countdown Clock
website with dread. Marshall has a gift for everyone.

Older Ted: Back when we were dat-


ing, Robin and I had this running joke
and we were the only two people that
found it funny. And we did it all the
time. There are different circumstances
in which they laughed and did a salute at
any mention of military men, like gener-
als or corporals. Because once you start,
it is surprisingly hard to stop. But now,
we were broken up, so now when Mar-
shall said ...major pay raise, we just let it
slide. You see, on the surface, Robin and
I looked like we were doing great, but the
truth is that trying to be friends with your ex is a lot harder than it looks. You cant be as candid
as you used to be, but most importantly, you can never, ever be alone together. Lily shows up
with the turkey at the bar and they are excited about Thanksgiving. Robin tells them that she is
going to bring Bob, her new boyfriend, since he didnt have anywhere else to go. Lily freaks out
since it is their first Thanksgiving together. Robin apologizes and tells them that the real Thanks-
giving is the Canadian Thanksgiving. Barney takes offense to that and asks what Canadian have
to be thankful for. Robin explains that it is to celebrate Martin Frobishers attempt to find the
Northwest Passage.
Marshall invites everyone over to watch the Slapsgiving Day Parade, to which Barney points
out that he said Slapsgiving again.
Marshall explains that Slapsgiving is a new holiday that he has come up with and they give
each other slaps. Older Ted: I should explain. Kids, you remember the slap bet. A year earlier,
Marshall made a bet with Barney and won the right to slap him five times.
He had already used the first, and the second, but Marshall had something special in store for
the third. Marshall reminds Barney about slapcountdown.com that appeared in another episode.
Barney tells Marshall that the countdown ends at 3 pm on the day after Thanksgiving. Marshall
apparently counted the days wrong and it turns out that Slapsgiving is on Thanksgiving. Lily
is the slap bet commissioner and allows the slap. Barney tells Marshall that he is not scared
since he now knows when the slap will happen. Bob shows up and Robin gets up to meet him
and tells them that he is 41. Older Ted: Ok, kids, the truth is that Bob probably looked like
this, but when your ex is dating someone new, you always have to accentuate their flaws. This

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

is how I saw Bob. Ted sees Bob as a 60-year old man who talks like a teenager when he tells
them that he had to talk to his parents. They walk off and Ted thinks that he looks like Orville
Redenbacher. Lily tells them that they are making pies at Robins house since Marshall likes to
sleep eat. Ted shows up at Robins apartment and learns that everyone else is doing something
else. They are both nervous about being alone together. Ted calls Barney and asks him to come
over, but Barney is hitting on a girl. Older Ted: After a very long night, it was finally the big
holiday, sorry, the two big holidays. Lily is running around getting things ready and Marshall
reminds Barney about his impending slap. Ted opens the door and Robin walks in with the pies.
Both Ted and Robin talk to Marshall and Lily separate.
Ted tells Marshall that being together while making the pies was awkward and they didnt
know what to talk about. Barney tells Ted that you dont want to hurt her during a holiday and
talks about not wanting to hurt anyone during a holiday. Marshall tells Barney that he is still
getting slapped. Ted continues his story and Robin talks to Lily about wanting Ted to leave. Lily
wants Robin to help her get ready, but Robin tells Lily a story about what happened while they
were making pies. Ted brings up having sex lots of times during last Thanksgiving and Robin
didnt know what to say in response. Robin makes a pecan pie and when Ted reminds her that
she is allergic to pecans, he figures out that Robin is making the pie for Bob. Barney and Marshall
are shocked that Robin had her making pies for Bob. Ted and Robin talk about Ted being jealous
about Bob, but Ted tells her that he is jealous of Bob because he is so old. Robin gets upset and
they start arguing about how they feel about their new significant others. Ted decides to leave,
but they begin kissing.
Marshall, Barney, and Lily are all shocked that they slept together. Lily reminds Robin that
she is sleeping with another man while she brings another guy to Thanksgiving. Lily asks if they
talked about it and they did not. They both decide that they need to talk about last night. Robin
and Ted start arguing about who started what they did the previous night. Lily breaks up the
fight and puts them into Teds room to figure everything out. Marshall puts the computer with
the countdown on the table to remind Barney about the slap that will happen in a little over 2
hours. Marshall tells him that he will slap him so hard that he will go back into time.
Barney starts crying and tells Marshall that he is so nervous about when he knows that the
slap is happening. Barney is about to leave, but Lily tells them to stop thinking about themselves
and as the slap bet commissioner, she tells them that Thanksgiving will be slap-free. Bob shows
up with jell-o shots. Ted and Robin are in his room talking about how they are going to try
to be friends, but Ted realizes that they cant be friends. Robin suggests that they should stop
pretending. They decide to eat dinner and then stop being friends. Robin walks out of the room,
leaving Ted alone. Older Ted: So, we sat down to our first Thanksgiving together as a group and
apparently our last. Marshall asks if Lily would like to say a few words, but she wants to eat.
Marshall decides to do the toast and thanks Lily for making a new tradition. Bob starts talking
about how his Thanksgiving at his parents house is crazy and Older Ted says ...then a funny
thing happened... and when Bob says ...major buzz-kill, both Ted and robin salute at it. Older
Ted: You see kids, friendship is an involuntary reflex. It just happens, you cant help it. That first
Thanksgiving turned out to be a wonderful dinner with the four people I loved most in the world
and Bob. And it did become a tradition. Thats why, every year, we go to Aunt Lily and Uncle
Marshalls for Thanksgiving. Barney tells everyone that they are twenty seconds until the slap
countdown is over. While Barney is talking smack to Marshall, the computer starts talking and it
counts down from 10 to 1. Lily wants Barney to put it up and then gives Marshall the permission
to slap Barney. Marshall slaps Barney and then runs to play the song that he has composed for
this special occasion. Ted turns off the lights and starts playing a song about slapping Barney.
During the clean-up, everyone salutes when Ted says major cleanup and then when Robin
says general idea.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

The Yips
Season 3
Episode Number: 54
Season Episode: 10

Originally aired: Monday November 26, 2007


Writer: Jamie Rhonheimer
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick
Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), David Henrie (Son), Lyndsy Fonseca
(Daughter), Wayne Brady (James Stinson)
Guest Stars: Annie Ilonzeh (Becky), Miranda Kerr (Herself), Katie Walder (Shannon),
Mark Derwin (Greg), Adriana Lima (Herself), Selita Ebanks (Herself),
Alessandra Ambrosio (Herself), Marisa Miller (Herself), Heidi Klum
(Herself), Mick Harrity (Max), Stephanie Faracy (Rhonda), Meredith
Roberts (Trish), Tanner Maguire (Young Barney)
Production Code: 3ALH10
Summary: When Barney loses his way with women, he hopes a trip to the Victo-
rias Secret Fall Fashion Show will help him regain his form. Marshall
deals with a taskmaster of a trainer at a gym.

Older Ted: Kids, back in 2007, it


seemed like everyone belonged to these
silly things called gyms. The idea was,
youd pay them lots of money to run
around and lift heavy things. Biggest rip-
of in the world, and yet people fell for it.
Including me. It started with one of those
moments when you realize youre not as
in shape as you want to be. Ted is hav-
ing a pizza delivered to the apartment and
when he has to run to get the money from
his room, he is winded and then doesnt
feel like going back for the coupon.
Ted tells this story to Barney and tells them that ended up eating the whole pizza. Ted asks
if Barney is a member at a gym and he says that he is at Total Rip Fitness. He invests in it and
his investments are women. He gives them encouragement to the fat women so that when they
lose the weight, he will seem nice in their eyes and they will want to go out with them. They talk
about it with the rest of group and Robin is disgusted. Ted thinks that they should all join a
gym together to take off the beer weight. At the gym, Marshall meets his new trainer and Lily
is jealous of her. Marshalls trainer makes him give her a hundred push-ups and he is a little
afraid of her. Robin is at the gym and she didnt feel a need to look nice and they refer to her as
a lesbian prison guard or a man. Barney rushes over to them and tells them about his incident
at the smoothie bar. He knows the lady that is working there and she doesnt remember him. He
tells the group that he lost his virginity to her.
At the bar afterward, Marshall complains about his trainer. Barney is confused as to why
Rhonda doesnt remember her. Barney tells them the story about when he broke up with Shan-
non and he complained to James, his gay brother. James tells him that he has to find a girl to
go out with, but Barney doesnt know anything about seducing a woman. James tells him that
he doesnt want to get the yips and suggests that he meet with Rhonda the man-maker, their

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

mothers friend. He recollects when he was younger and they heard Rhonda talking about having
sex with different people. Barney shows up at Rhondas house and she drags him inside. She
tells him that he was the sex that she had ever had and he was born that night. At the gym,
Marshall wants to stop, but the trainer wont let him stop. Lily shows up with her buff trainer
and Lily explains that they are going to work on flexibility. When they are training, Marshall
sees some very interesting positions that Lily puts herself in. Barney continues to get Rhonda to
remember him, but she barely knows anything about him. Apparently, James told Rhonda to lie
to him and tell him that he is the best she has ever had.
Rhonda asks to have sex with him to pay for her having to tell him those things. Barney gets
upset because he gained his confidence to after other girls because of the words that she said
after they had sex.
Marshall complains to Lily about the trainer again and how his whole body hurts. Lily tells
him to quit and she offers to call her.
She calls her and yells at her and when she gets off of the phone, she tells Marshall to get
down there since she is really upset.
Barney shows up and tells them that he has gotten tickets to the after-party at the Victorias
Secret fashion show. At the party, the guys show up and are impressed. Ted and Barney ap-
proach girls and Barney loses his ability to talk to girls. Barney is afraid that he has the yips
and he keeps on bombing. Barney spots Heidi Klum and he totally makes a fool out of himself.
Heidi Klum helps him through the yips and tells him to get out there. Barney leaves the party
and shows up at Rhondas apartment and tells her that he wants to have sex with her. Rhonda
tells Barney that she does not have meaningless sex anymore and goes gambling. Barney is not
wearing a suit at the bar and he is depressed that his sexual experiences have been built on a
foundation of lies. Marshall shows up more hurt than ever. Ted tells them about his and Robins
moment that they shared at the gym. Ted tells Robin that the sexual tension is gone since she
doesnt dress up. Then, the whole gang tells stories about how Ted shows up to the gym and
he has to leave for some stupid reason. Ted then starts working out with Marshalls ex-trainer.
Rhonda finds Barney at the bar and he asks what the problem is with him. Rhonda devises a
plan to get him to learn to converse with a woman and not have to sleep with her. They try to
play cards, but they end up having sex. This time, he gets to lie to her.
Ted shows up at the bar, sore from the trainer. The girls say that they like to go to the gym
now and Ted agrees that it was the best decision that they ever made. Older Ted: And we never
went back to the gym again.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

The Platinum Rule


Season 3
Episode Number: 55
Season Episode: 11

Originally aired: Monday December 10, 2007


Writer: Carter Bays, Craig Thomas
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick
Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Charlene Amoia (Wendy)
Guest Stars: Kristen Schaal (Laura Girard), John Sloan (Michael Girard), Hayes
MacArthur (Curt The Ironman Irons)
Production Code: 3ALH11
Summary: Teds upcoming date with his doctor leads the gang to give him their
own examples of why dating someone you already see regularly is a
bad idea. Marshall and Lily want a couple to be friends with. Barneys
last venture endangers the groups hangout.

The episode begins with the reminder


of the tattoo that Ted got in 2007. Older
Ted: Kids, too often in life, we make deci-
sions that were not prepared to live with.
This is a story about those decisions, and
the consequences that follow. Ted is go-
ing to get his tattoo removed and he has
a date with the doctor that will be re-
moving the tattoo. The group tells him
that he shouldnt go out with anyone that
you have to see. Barney tells Ted that the
golden rule is Love thy neighbor (which
Ted points out that it is not) and that
there is a rule more important that is the platinum rule that says Never, ever, ever, love thy
neighbor. The rest of the group points out several incidents that happened when they did not
obey the rule. There are eight steps to this process. The first rule is attraction. Everyone tells their
own stories about how they met people: Barney with the waitress at the bar, Wendy, Marshall
and Lily with their neighbors, and Robin with a new sportscaster, Curt The Ironman Irons. Bar-
ney explains that Ted thinks that the Platinum Rule does not apply to him, but Barney tells him
that it is just step two, bargaining. Everyone complains and tries to talk them out of doing things
with the people since they will be too close to them: Robin tells everyone about Curt, Marshall
and Lily want to invite the neighbors to dinner, and Barney wants to have sex with the waitress.
Everyone thinks about the time and tells them that it was a huge mistake even though they
had bargained in their mind about it. Rule number three is submission. Wendy tells Barney that
they are alone at the bar, Curt asks Lily to accompany him to a hockey game, and the neighbors
complain about them not having their kitchen supplies and Marshall and Lily inviting them over.
Then, it shows everyone falling for the person that they are doing things with.
Ted suggests that maybe there is a perk for going out with the doctor. Step four is perks. Robin
tells them that she met some famous hockey player, Lily tells them that they will have a built-in
couple to do things with them, and Barney gets free food. They all thought that everything was
going great. Step five is the tipping point. After the sportscast, Curt makes a snide comment to
Robin since she didnt call him when she said she would, Barney finds another girl and asks

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Wendy to send her a drink, and Marshall and Lily open their door to the neighbors, but they are
about to leave to do other things.
Step six is purgatory. Robin realizes that Curt is annoying with his love notes he leaves every-
where, Marshall and Lilys neighbors have to send out a scout to make sure that the neighbors
dont see them leaving, and then Barney is annoyed that he cant go after any girls in the bar.
Barney tells Ted that he has to do the inevitable and get to step seven, confrontation. Robin,
Marshall and Lily, and Barney all break up with the people and they just try to go back to being
the way they were before they got too involved.
Barney tells Ted that there is another step, step eight, fallout. Robin introduces Curt for the
sportscast, but he is too depressed to do a good job and then turns to Robin and asks her why
they broke up and then runs off crying. Marshall and Lilly leave the apartment, but they see the
neighbors door open and they run back to their apartment. Ted knocks on the door, but Marshall
sees the neighbors coming out of the apartment. They decide to leave from the alley, but run into
the neighbors there. Barney thinks that Wendy is trying to poison them with their drinks and
tosses his and Teds drinks out. When Barney sees Marshall about to eat a hamburger that
Wendy brought to him, he slaps it out of his hands. In the present day, Robin is upset because
Barney has had no fallout from his breakup with Wendy, but Barney suggests that it hasnt
happened yet. Ted tries to leave again, but Barney stops him and goes over the steps again. Ted
wants to break the rules and if they break up, it will not be because of the Platinum Rule. Older
Ted: So, Stella and I went on our date. But heres the funny thing. Turns out, it wasnt actually
a date. 3 hours later, Ted tells them that they went to the movies as friends. Stella told Ted that
they were not allowed to date, but not because of the Platinum Rule, but because doctors are
not allowed to date their patients. Older Ted: So that was the end of the story between me and
Stella, at least for the time being. But I dont know, looking back at the platinum rule, I think
theres a ninth step. Well call it coexistence. Its the moment you realize that all that anger and
resentment just isnt useful. And you start to let go of it. And move on with your life. It just takes
a while. It shows the groups of people co-existing in the world, but Barney still throws away the
drink that Wendy brought him.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

No Tomorrow
Season 3
Episode Number: 56
Season Episode: 12

Originally aired: Monday March 17, 2008


Writer: Craig Thomas, Carter Bays
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Lyndsy Fonseca (Daughter), David Hen-
rie (Son)
Guest Stars: Mieko Hillman (Stephanie), Arielle Vandenberg (Mary), Hope Riley (At-
tractive Brunette), Vanessa Minnillo (Ashlee), Terrell D. Lee (Bouncer),
Brian Letscher (Angry Guy), Matthew Hatchette (Bartender #2), Ryan
Burnham (Bartender #1), Nicole Muirbrook-Wagner (Woman)
Production Code: 3ALH12
Summary: Ted lives like theres no tomorrow during a St. Patricks Day celebra-
tion with Barney. Lily and Marshall spend the evening at their new
apartment with Robin.

Older Ted: Kids, I never would have


met your mother without a little luck.
Specifically, the luck of the Irish. St.
Patricks day. The one day of the year
when every young person in New York
goes out and gets crazy. Really crazy.
Okay. Maybe not that crazy.
But by 2008, wed all had enough.
Well, most of us. Barney walks in wear-
ing a green suit and wants them to all go
to the bar, but Ted tells them that they
are not going to this year. Marshall tells
Barney that they are going to their new
apartment and going to play board games. Barney gets mad and says that he is going to party
by himself. Teds phone keeps calling people. Barney calls Ted and tells him that he will go to a
club with Barney and two women, their dates. Barney tries to make a plea to Ted to join him and
when watching that Marshall and Lily talk about the smell on Marshalls hand, he agrees to go.
Older Ted: So, on March 17, 2008, I went to a big St. Patricks Day party. And its a good thing I
did, because funny story, your mother was there. The girl with the umbrella is in line to get into
the bar.
Barney introduces Ted to the girls and Ted is upset about the long line. They ask the bouncer
if they can get in and the bouncer says that if it was just the two of them, they can get in because
there are too many girls in there. Barney brings Ted to the side and tells him that they have
to ditch their dates. They decide to go in when the bouncer tells them that the girls may not
be hotter inside, but they are drunker. Marshall, Lily, and robin show up at the apartment and
Marshall puts a picture on the wall, but it doesnt hang straight. Robin points out that their
apartment it crooked and rolls the bottle of champagne on the floor to demonstrate how crooked
it is. Older Ted: It was the kind of thing you didnt notice until you noticed it. But once you did
notice it, you couldnt not notice it. Lily and Marshalls apartment was crooked. Marshall freaks
out, but Lily comes out with a free skateboard and board game. Marshall tells Robin to not tell

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Lily. In the club, Barney cant believe his good luck. Ted overhears a girl ordering drinks on a tab
and Ted orders two bottle of Dom Perignon on the same tab. He cant believe his luck, especially
when a girl comes up to him and pinches him because he is not wearing green. She doesnt even
really pay attention to Barney when he says that he doesnt have any green on and explains that
his suit is really teal. Her name is Ashlee and invites them to join them at their table with a
bottle of tequila and deep belly buttons. Barney suggests that the universe is giving them a free
pass and then it solidifies it when they get a free ounce of caviar with their champagne. At the
apartment, Lily is concerned when playing hungry, Hungry Hippos, she wins. Lily realizes that
the apartment is crooked, but Marshall explains that he saw a ghost and Robin runs with it. Ted
talks to Ashlee and tells her that he is trying out the theory and he tells her that he wants a
no-strings one-night stand. She tells him that she likes that idea and she kisses him after she
tells him that she is married.
Lily is upset about the ghost being racist and when Robin cant stand any more talking
about the ghost, she blurts out that the apartment is crooked. Lily breaks out in tears and
Marshall blames her for ruining it for Lily. Ted talks to Barney about the theory and tells Barney
that Ashlee is married. Barney tells him that it is not cheating if he isnt the one married, the
girls name has two adjacent vowels, and is she is from a different area code. At the apartment,
Marshall and Lily talk about what they are going to do about the apartment. Robin suggests that
Marshall open the door and she grabs the skateboard and rides it into the hallway. Older Ted:
So, Lily and Marshall decided to make the best of a bad situation, and thats also how the sport
of apartment roller luge was invented. Barney tells Ted that it will be ok, but Ted talks to Ashlee
about her being married and making a bad mistake. A guy walks up to them and Ted fears that
it is Ashlees husband, but he turns out to be the guy that had the tab that they put all their
drinks on for the night. Ted tells Marshall the story and explains that after he hit him in the face,
they got free drinks on him for the rest of the night. Marshall tries to get Ted to understand that
he kissed a married woman and committed credit card fraud.
Ted tells him that it wasnt as bad as it sounds, but Marshall replays the phone messages
from his phone that Ted accidentally dialed all night long. Older Ted: And then last night started
coming back to me. The real version. It turns out that he left seventeen messages on Marshalls
phone, each one telling the truth about the night with all of the immoral things that Ted did.
Older Ted: Kids, its sometimes possible to think youre doing just fine in life. And then
someone opens your eyes a little bit and you realize... Your whole world is off balance. Out of
whack. Crooked. Ted is shocked to actually hear what he did during the night and then he
turns the conversation to Marshalls apartment problem. Marshall tells Ted that it will take lots
of money and time to fix and they will have to stay at the apartment for a little bit longer. Ted
decides to go out to get his cell phone that he left at the club. Older Ted: So that was St. Patricks
Day, 2008. I found out years later that your mom was at that party, I just didnt meet her. You
know, its a good thing I didnt. Because if I had met her, I dont think she would have liked me.
Heck, I dont think I liked me. But thats okay. Tomorrow had arrived.Ted goes through the club
and tries to find the phone, but he cant, and when he walks back in, he sees a yellow umbrella
on the floor. Older Ted: You see, I didnt know it yet, but my luck was about to change. Ted
walks out of the bar with the yellow umbrella.
The next morning, Barney crawls out of a pile of trash, still with his green suit on and declares
that he is awesome.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Ten Sessions
Season 3
Episode Number: 57
Season Episode: 13

Originally aired: Monday March 24, 2008


Writer: Chris Harris (II), Carter Bays, Craig Thomas
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen),
Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick
Harris (Barney Stinson)
Recurring Role: Sarah Chalke (Stella Zinman), Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Charlene
Amoia (Wendy), Marshall Manesh (Ranjit)
Guest Stars: Britney Spears (Abby), Christine Joaquin (Kourtney), Caroline
Whitney-Smith (Brenda), Ria Pavia (Gloria), Don Creech (Old Guy)
Production Code: 3ALH14
Summary: Ted pursues a woman named Stella, but only gets attention from her
receptionist Abby.

Older Ted: Kids, sometimes in life,


you see someone and you just instantly
know, this is the person for you. It can
happen anywhere. Even the waiting room
of a tattoo-removal clinic. And thats what
happened when I met Stella. Stella is the
doctor that will be removing Teds butter-
fly tattoo. She can remove it in ten one-
hour sessions. Ted tells her that he just
saw the worst movie, but Stella tells him
that she knows the worst movie and she
will take him to see it at the movie the-
ater. They meet up at the movie theater
and Ted insists on paying for the movie, but she took three of her friends along and ted has to
pay for their tickets too.
Ted tells one of Stellas friends that he thought that it was a date, but each friend tells the
next one and it eventually gets to Stella who explains that she cant date because it is an AMA
(American Medical Association) rule. They whisper so loudly that everyone in the movie theater
hears the conversation. Ted feels humiliated.
During session 1, Stella laughs at Ted because he bought all of the tickets and he thought
that it was a date. Ted offers to wait until the 10 sessions are over and then ask her out, but she
says that she will tell him no. Ted asks if she is married, dating, lesbian, only like black guys,
but she keeps saying no. She is adamant about the answer being no. At the bar, they talk about
it and Ted is not willing to give up on Stella. Barney tells Ted that a woman takes 8.3 seconds to
decide if she will sleep with a man. Ted doesnt believe her and describes his first 8.3 seconds of
meeting Stella. She calls him to the exam room by the tattoo and where it is located and a girl
stands up with him. Ted tells them that he cannot be judged in 8.3 sessions and that by the end
of the 10 sessions, he will turn the no into a yes. Barney asks Ted to describe the rest of the first
session. She puts the laser to his tattoo and he screams like a girl.
Older Ted: And so the weeks went by. The second session, I told her about how I spent the
summer working with inner-city kids.
The third session, we both spoke nothing but French. The fourth session, I made her laugh
so hard, she fell out of her chair. So by the time the fifth session came around... She tells him

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no. He cant believe it when he tells everyone at the bar. Barney tells Ted that it was lame to
juggle during the fifth session, but Ted tells him that magic is also lame. Barney demonstrates
his magic skills and it gets everyone upset and they yell at him, even Wendy, the waitress. Lily
puts him in a time-out. Lily tells Ted that it may be hard to make a good impression when he
is only showing his butt. Barney tells him that he cant turn a no into yes, but Robin suggests
that it is possible. Ted then figure out what he can try during the sixth session. He realizes that
he can get the receptionist on his good side and that could be his angle in. On the sixth session,
Ted brings her breakfast. Older Ted: And sure enough, by session seven, she saw me in a whole
new light. Stella tells Ted that he made a really good impression on Abby, the receptionist, and
she would like to go out with him. Ted notices that there is a book on Stellas bookshelf that Ted
thinks may provide some insight into her. Marshall tells him that it is a good book, but he cant
find it. On the eighth session, he walks in, reading the book and walks up to the receptionist
who tries to talk to him. In the exam room, Ted mentions the book, but Stella explains that she
would never read that book, a patient left it in the room. Abby comes into the exam room and
tells Ted that she found his book in the trash and when he protests, she explains that she saw
him reading it in the lobby. She then points out that it says in the cover that it is from Teds
personal library. Robin thinks that maybe he should just have sex with the receptionist and then
Barney tells Ted that he checked out Stella and that she has a terrible secret, but he cant tell
him because he has to think about it.
Barney calls Stellas office and he is the one that was yelling at Abby on the phone. Barney
eventually gets to the office and meets Stella. At first, he thinks that she is too good for him,
but then he finds out that she has folliculaphilia and she can only be attracted to men with
moustaches. When Ted arrives for his ninth session, he walks in with a small moustache. Abby
thinks that it is sexy and when she calls Stella to tell her that Ted is here, she refers to him
as Magnum, from Magnum, PI. She also tells Ted that he is many times more attractive than
Tom Selleck. When Stella walks into the exam room, she sees the moustache and bursts out
laughing. Barney laughs at him for growing the moustache and reminds him of when he bet $10
that he could get Ted to grow a moustache. Ted is appalled and has to pay $10 to Barney. Ted
tells them that his tenth and last session is next week and he has given up on her. Lily tells Ted
that he cant give up since she likes him. Ted wonders where she got that information from and
Marshall tells him that he went to see Stella and she found an irregular mole on his ear and he
starts freaking out. Then, she tells him that she has a patient that has a butterfly tattoo and he
tells her to shut up and that he is dying. She lets him go and tells him that she will call him
with the results. Ted is excited that she said that he has a crush on him. Older Ted: That last
session was the least painful of all. I savored every searing blast of that laser. The moment Id
waited ten weeks for had arrived. Ted asks her out and she tells him that she has a daughter
and doesnt have much time for a dating life. Ted tells everyone that he should have realized that
she wouldnt have time for him. Ted meets her at her office and tells her that she didnt say no
and offers to have a two-minute date with her. Ted brings her next door to a cafe and they eat
quickly and then go a movie a couple of doors down and then walk back to the cafe and have
desert. He picks her some flowers, but she is allergic and offers her a doggie bag with the food.
They arrive back in time, but Stella tells him that she can be late and she kisses him. Ted tells
her that if she ever has time to give her a call. Older Ted: And that, kids, is how you turn a no
into a yes. Ted then sees Abby as she runs after him to give him another chance. At Stellas
office, Barney hits on Abby and offers to take her shopping. Ted tells her that they have to go by
his hotel room before shopping so that he can make sure that they fixed his bed. Abby asks if
they can have sex before shopping. Ted is enthused.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

The Bracket
Season 3
Episode Number: 58
Season Episode: 14

Originally aired: Monday March 31, 2008


Writer: Joe Kelly
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Cobie Smulders (Robin
Scherbatsky), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Josh Radnor (Ted
Mosby), Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Ken Barnett (Colton Dunn), Hallie Lambert (Kate), Dawn Olivieri
(Anna), April Bowlby (Meg), Christian Tallman (Mark), Kathy Uyen
(Julia), Katy Savoy (Karen), Maite Schwartz (Holly), Yvonne DeLarosa
(Charra), Brendan Patrick Connor (Janitor), Tess Alexandra Parker
(Mysterious Woman)
Production Code: 3ALH13
Summary: Barneys efforts to hook up with women are being thwarted by a mys-
terious woman from his past. Barney and the gang must sift though
his many past flings in an attempt to find out who she is.

Older Ted: Kids, back when we were


younger, your Uncle Marshall and I were
really into college basketball. Every year,
March Madness would take over the en-
tire apartment. Marshall and Ted are
working on filling in the brackets for the
college basketball playoff games when the
girls come into the living room and ask
what they are doing. Lily asks where he
got the blackboard and Marshall tells her
that he found it, but Marshall recounts in
his head that they stole the blackboard
from Lilys room. Barney walks in and
tells them that their team just lost that they bet on. Barney tells everyone that he went to the
hardware store to pick up girls and he tells a girl that he helped a girl and when he walked off
to get something for the girl and when he returns, she slaps him. This also happened at the dog
store and the museum, but every time when he returns, he gets slapped. Barney cant figure out
what is going on. Older Ted: But the next night got even weirder. Barney and Lily meet up at
the bar and when Barney walks off to get something, a girl approaches Lily and tells her that he
will say whatever just to get into her pants. Lily is upset and tells Barney, but they cant find
her and Barney cant figure out who it is. Barney tries to think about who it could be and goes
through hundreds of girls in his mind and he gets overloaded.
Barney complains to everyone and Ted suggests that he looks at the book of girls that he has
slept with. Barney brings everyone to see his book and she cant find who the girl is. Barney gets
an idea that he put the girls on the bracket chart that Marshall and Ted had and he suggests that
they discuss the girls and figure out who it is. No one wants to do it, but Barney brought beer.
They all argue about who has the most reason to hate him and sabotage him. After several hours,
they have come to the final four and decide to contact all of the women. Lily and Barney first
visit Meg, the girl that he slept with in the first apartment that Marshall and Lily bought. Barney
wants to hide from her, but Lily makes him apologize to her. When Lily sees them, she runs up

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to Barney and kisses him. When Lily breaks them up, she tells Barney that she isnt the one, but
he has to apologize to her, but he quickly walks off in the other direction. The next girl, Anna,
got lied to that Barney was Ted. She tells him that she has a website, tedmosbyisajerk.com.
Barney stands on a table and tells the whole restaurant that Ted Mosby is a jerk and to go to the
website. Older Ted: And that little Web site went on to get 400,000 hits. Thanks, Barney. The
next girl is Kate, whom Barney lied to and had sex with her twice and used different names. She
immediately attacks him and Lily makes sure to get a picture. The next, and last girl, is Holly.
Barney recalls the story of leaving her in the woods by herself and a bear comes after her. Lily
gripes at him and tells him that it is the worst thing he has ever done. Holly answers the door
and meets Mark, her fiancee. They invite Barney and Lily in the house and have coffee. Barney
says that that was the worst fourth of July, but Mark reminds Holly that they started dating in
June.
Lily gripes at Barney when they get back to the apartment that he never apologized to any of
the women. Barney doesnt think that is bad, but what he does think is bad is that he doesnt
know who the stalker is. Robin suggests that they set her up and Robin will be the girl that
Barney is hitting on. Robin sets up the scene that Lily will be at the jukebox, the guys will be
at the booth having a normal conversation, and Robin will walk up and get hit on by Barney.
Robin asks what he tells them to get them to have sex with him and he tells her and she gets a
little turned on. When Robin sees someone coming in, Barney walks off to the bathroom and the
girl approaches Robin. Barney returns from the bathroom and looks on the bracket to find her,
but she isnt there and he doesnt recognize her at all. When she walks off, Barney intercepts
her and tells her that he doesnt recognize her and he apologizes to her. Lily walks up and tells
her that she isnt the girl and the girls walks away. Lily takes a picture and names it Barneys
Redemption. There is a montage of what Barney has done to girls over the years. Older Ted:
Eventually Barney did figure out who the mysterious girl was. But more on that later. Doogie
Howser, M.D. style, Barney writes in his journal on the computer. Sometimes we search for one
thing but discover another.
Even though I didnt find the mystery girl... I did find out something very important about
myself...Im awesome. A girl interrupts him and asks him to come back to bed with her since he
has to go in outer space tomorrow.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

The Chain Of Screaming


Season 3
Episode Number: 59
Season Episode: 15

Originally aired: Monday April 14, 2008


Writer: Craig Thomas, Carter Bays
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson),
Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen)
Recurring Role: David Henrie (Son), Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Taran Killam (Blau-
man), Bryan Callen (Bilson), Bob Odenkirk (Arthur Hobbs), Lyndsy
Fonseca (Daughter)
Guest Stars: Jordan Black (Ferguson), Avner Garbi (Waiter), Evelyn Dubac (Megan),
Charles Poynter (Dylan), Kira Saks (Erica)
Production Code: 3ALH15
Summary: After Marshall witnesses a work buddy get yelled at after handing in a
report, he becomes paranoid that the same will happen to him.

Older Ted: Kids, the spring of 2008


was a pretty great time for me. Stella and
I had started dating and Id just gotten a
big raise at work, so I decided to purchase
something I knew would be the envy of
all my friends. Ted buys a car, a Toyota
Camry.
Barney tells him that it is a stupid
idea, but he wants to call shotgun for
eternity. Marshall walks up to them and
wants a beer desperately. Marshall then
tells them that when he started at the
law firm, he was so excited about being
a lawyer, but then things started to decline. Arthur Hobbs is Marshalls boss and he has a nick-
name of Artillery Arthur. Mr. Hobbs walks up to Marshall and asks him a question about another
employee and when he walks out, he begins yelling at the employee. The next day, Marshall over-
hears Mr. Hobbs asking where Marshall is and gets ready for the yelling. Marshall tells Lily that
he got yelled at work and Lily comforts him, but Barney thinks that he is being a baby. Barney
explains that he got screamed at three times at work and once in Korean. Lily continues her com-
forting and they eventually start making out. Robin tells Marshall that Mr. Hobbs may respect
him more now after he yelled at him, but Barney continues the story. Marshall describes what it
was like being yelled at and then realizes that he didnt really want the job in the first place. Lily
gets a bad feeling and then when Marshall finishes the story, he tells them that he started to cry.
Barney reaches over and looks like he is about to comfort him, but just informs him that he has
already called shotgun for eternity in Teds car.
Marshall explains that he doesnt know how to face Mr. Hobbs the next day. Robin suggests
that he threatens him with a gun, but Ted comes up with another solution of talking like Abra-
ham Lincoln. Marshall tells Ted that it isnt possible and tells him what he would say to Mr.
Hobbs, but he just calls security. Marshall doesnt think that any of these ideas would work, but
Barney gives him an example of Gary Blauman and what happened to him during a meeting. A
guy yells at him in front of other people, but he interrupts him and tells him to Kiss my ass!
since his cousin just had a website start up. He then stands on top of the conference table and

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tries to pee, but he gets performance anxiety and then gives up. Barney tells him that the cousins
website eventually ended, Gary started working as a janitor, and then killed himself. Barney tells
Marshall that the moral of the story is to not yell at your boss because there is something called
the chain of screaming and that it starts at the top. He gives an example of Arthur Hobbs and
tells everyone that Arthurs bosss boss screams at Arthurs boss, then on down the chain it goes
until it gets to Lily who screams at a student who then screams at her father who turns out to
be Arthurs boss boss. Barney freaks out when Lily explains that she doesnt have any students
in her Kindergarten class that have parents that work at Marshalls law firm. Barney freaks out
and starts screaming at them, but then stops and reflects on how good he feels. Marshall asks
Lily for her advice and she tells him that she teaches her Kindergarten kids that it is important
to be constructive and positive. Lily tells him an example of doing this to Mr.
Hobbs and it seems like a good idea and he writes down her idea. Older Ted: But it seemed
like that was the end of it, but it wasnt, because the next night... Lily and Ted are in the
apartment looking at carpet samples and Marshall calls Ted and tells him to come downstairs
without letting Lily know that it is him. Ted walks outside and finds Marshall stuffing his face.
Marshall and Ted sit in Teds car and Marshall tells him about what happened at work. He
tells Ted that he went down to the diner to work on the Ninja report, but he was interrupted
by Barney who tells him that the chain of screaming is real and he has to scream at someone
else. Barney suggests that he screams at the waiter, but Marshall doesnt want to scream at him.
Marshall takes his advice and then gets yelled at by the waiter. Robin joins them in the car with
an ice cream cone and then Barney joins them smoking a cigar. When they all start yelling at
each other, Marshall tells them to be quiet and he is in the middle of a story. Marshall continues
the story and suggests that he yell at Barney. Marshall has to get revved up and eventually he
gets to where he is personally attacking Barney and doing a good job at it. Marshall walks into
Mr. Hobbs office and tells him that he quits and then he gets taken out by security. Marshall
is concerned that he doesnt know how to tell Lily, but then everyone is scared by Lily as she
knocks on the car window and they all spill their food in Teds new car. Older Ted: And so
Marshall finally had to tell Lily what happened. Marshall tells her that he wants to go back in
the next day and beg for his job back, but Lily tells him that money and the apartment arent
everything and she shouldnt have to be miserable at his job. Older Ted: Ultimately, they were
able to make ends meet without going bust on the apartment. Ted gives Marshall a check and
tells him that he has returned the car. Ted asks Marshall if they did it in the car and Marshall
tells him yes. Marshall and Lily have sex on the carpet samples to see which one feels better.

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Sandcastles in the Sand


Season 3
Episode Number: 60
Season Episode: 16

Originally aired: Monday April 21, 2008


Writer: Kourtney Kang
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin),
Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick
Harris (Barney Stinson)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: James Van Der Beek (Simon), Chris Romano (Punchy), Ryan Michelle
Bathe (Michelle), Veronica Estrada (Catholic School Girl), Cara-Lee Kn-
odel (Catholic School Girl)
Production Code: 3ALH16
Summary: Robins musical past emerges again as the group learns of someone
named Simon from Robins past. As Barney searches for more Robin
Sparkles memorabilia, Ted spends more time with Stella.

Older Ted: Now kids, when Aunt


Robin was a teenager, she was, well, a
Canadian pop star. But by 2008, she was
an entirely different person. Which made
the events of that week all the more sur-
prising. Everyone is at the bar and they
begin talking about Robins breasts. She
dressed up to meet an old friend, Simon,
who happened to be her first boyfriend.
They heckle her about her relationship
with Simon. Older Ted: This went on for
a really long time. Some of the jokes were
elegant and well crafted...others were
crude, and ill-formed...and others were obvious, but needed to be said. They all run out of
jokes for her and Robin continues to explain that they only dated for a week and a half, which in
Canada is the whole summer. Robin tells the story of when Simons band was finished playing
a gig and Robin was helping him get packed up and he tells her that he is getting back together
with Louise Marsh because she got a pool. Lily suggests that she wants to win the break-up and
they figure out who won the break-up and come out with Robin winning, but that all changes
when she sees him walk into the bar. Older Ted: And sure enough, there was a clear winner and
a clear loser. It just wasnt clear to everybody. Simon is now balding and pudgy, but Robin still
thinks that he is awesome. At the apartment, they recap what happened at the bar when Simon
joins them at the booth. Robin tells them that she still thinks that he has it and when the gang
tries to talk up Robin and tell Simon that she is better than he is, she continually downplays
herself. When Simon mentions that his band, The Foreskins is still together, she swoons even
more. Simon and Robin met while they were shooting another video for Robin Sparkles. This
prompts Ted to get up and search for the video. At the apartment, he decides that he will not
stop until he finds the tape of her other video. Robin feels stupid about being so different when
she is around Simon and Marshall suggests that it is revertigo and Lily has a bad case of it
when she gets together with Michelle. Barney pipes up and tells them that she sounds hot and
Marshall decides to mention Michelles name and show Barney what happens. Lily goes into her
room to call Michelle, but Barney doesnt immediately find out what happens between the two of

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them, but he does know that Marshall tells him that it is comparable to the two of them making
out. Robin is upset that she didnt get a second chance with Simon, but later on that night, she
meets everyone at the bar and tells them that Simon stopped by her apartment.
Simon tells Robin that he made a big mistake and then asks her out. Robin agrees, which
makes everyone upset. Michelle shows up and Michelle is African-American and she starts talk-
ing like she is from the ghetto. Barney makes it his personal goal to get with Michelle. Robin
is hanging out with Simon and he asks her to play his demo on the news. She does and plays
Murder Train, one of their songs, when pictures of little puppies are on the screen. Marshall
tells Robin that her revertigo is out of control. Lily asks what revertigo is and she tells them that
she thinks that Ted and Punchy get together. Ted refuses to believe it, but then he remembers
the last time that they got together and they play fought. Robin tells them that she likes Simon,
but Lily says that they are worried about her and then they all start acting like Marshall and Lily
are the parents and Robin is their little girl and they are chastising her. Robin tells them that
she is going with Simon and will have sex with him. After Simons gig, she gets his stuff packed
back into his van, eerily like when she was 16. Simon breaks with her again for Louise Marsh.
Robin is talking to the rest of the group and Michelle has joined them. When Lily walks off,
they talk to Michelle about why they act like that around each other and then she explains that
she is getting her Ph.D. in behavioral psychology and there is an actual term for what happens
with her and Lily, it is associative regression. Lily turns on a rap song and Michelle instantly
transforms and starts to dance with Lily. Older Ted: One by one, we all had to go home. Soon, it
was just Robin. Barney returns to the bar and tells Robin that he has looked everywhere for her
video, but he finds her crying because Simon dumped her again. He comforts her and she just
cries and tells him that she thought that she wanted to feel that way again. Barney tells her that
she was totally lame at 16, but now she is awesome, but not the first, the second most awesome.
The first most awesome is his reflection in the mirror.
Robin asks him to come back to her place and then whispers in his ear. They sit on her couch
when they get to her apartment and they watch the other video, named Sandcastles in the
Sand. Barney is so excited about the video and it is what he expected. Robin finally admits that
she was lame. Older Ted: And so they watched it again. And again. And again. They watched it
over and over that night, until finally, they stopped watching. Robin and Barney kiss.

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The Goat
Season 3
Episode Number: 61
Season Episode: 17

Originally aired: Monday April 28, 2008


Writer: Stephen Lloyd
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick
Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: David Henrie (Son), Lyndsy Fonseca (Daughter), Bob Saget (Voice of
Ted 2030), Marshall Manesh (Ranjit)
Guest Stars: Alan Fudge (Farmer Frank), Destiny Grace Whitlock (Little Girl),
Megan McNulty (Cindy), Alexis Krause (Carol), Ian Abercrombie (Ben
Franklin), Jeff Austin (George Washington)
Production Code: 3ALH17
Summary: After Barney sleeps with Robin he hires help to find a loop hole in The
Bro Code that will let him off the hook.

Older Ted: Well, kids, here we are.


Weve arrived. My 30th birthday. The
long-awaited story of the goat. That week
started just like any other. Barney woke
up in some girls bed. Barney actually
wakes up in Robins bed. Barney and
Lily talk about what happened and decide
that they will not speak about what hap-
pened. Barney is concerned that he slept
with his best friends (Teds) ex-girlfriend
and he broke a code. Older Ted: But pre-
tending it never happened wouldnt be
that easy. Everyone at the table is talk-
ing about hitting it, but they dont tell Barney what they are talking about until Barney is about
to have a heart attack from the conversation that he thinks is about having sex with Robin. Ted
tells them that he is getting rid of things, but he is having a hard time not talking about having
sex with Robin. Robin and Barney walk away from the table and talk, but Ted comes up to them
and tells him that he knows what they are up to, which makes Barney freak out even more. Mar-
shall is at the apartment and Barney calls him and asks him to be his lawyer. Marshall shows
up at Barneys office and Barney wants to tell Marshall a secret, but Marshall refuses to be told.
Barney eventually gets him to listen and tells him that he slept with Robin. Barney reminds
Marshall that he cant tell anyone since it is attorney-client privilege. Marshall freaks out and
tells Barney that he at least has to tell Lily, but Barney tells him that he cant. Barney wants
Marshall to make sure that he didnt break The Bro Code. Older Ted: For many years, we had
heard Barney quote the Bro Code. A list of dos and donts for all bros. Some were basic. Some
were unbelievably complicated. And some were just plain disturbing. Marshall tells him that it is
not a legal document, it is just something that Barney wrote, but Barney tells Marshall that he
didnt write it and tells Marshall about the history of the Bro Code. In 1776 in Philadelphia, when
Benjamin Franklin and George Washington sit down and discuss that there should be a group
of rules regulating their friendship. Barnabas Stinson volunteers to write the Bro Code on the
back of the Constitution. Barney tells Marshall that he feels bad that the Bro Code states that
you cant sleep your bros ex and he wants Marshall to find a loophole. Marshall tells him that

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he doesnt want to do it, but Barney insists that he does it. Older Ted: While Marshall examined
the Bro Code, Lilys kindergarten class welcomed a special guest. The special guest is a goat and
Farmer Frank tells the kids that when he picks up the goat after a few days, he will bring it took
a butcher shop. Older Ted: And Frank went on to traumatize Lily entire class with a graphic
explanation of where meat comes from. The kids dont want the goat, Missy, to be eaten, so Lily
puts Missy in the back of a cab and brings her back to the apartment. Lily tells Ted that the
animal rescue will pick her up on Monday, but Ted isnt thrilled about the idea. Older Ted: And,
boy, was I right, because what Missy the goat would go on to do in that bathroom was so...No,
you know what? Im getting ahead of myself. Well get there. Robin shows up at the apartment
and asks why the goat turd is on the floor. Marshall shows up and acts guilty and Robin talks
to Marshall in the kitchen and tells him not to say anything. At work, Marshall tells Barney that
there is no loophole in the Bro Code. Barney thinks that maybe Ted has already broken the Bro
Code, but Marshall explains that Ted has followed everything perfectly and gives him several ex-
amples. Barney is upset and tells Marshall to find the loophole. Marshall tells Barney that he has
to tell Ted. Older Ted: Which brings up to April 25, 2008. My 30th birthday. Or as it would come
to be referred to in later years, the Day of the Goat. Lily calls Barney and tells him that he has
to come to up to the party to see the goat wearing a party hat. Older Ted: In a few short hours,
Lily would come to regret those words. But well get there. Barney gets off of the phone when
Ted gets in the limo with Barney to go to the apartment. Barney takes Ted to Vegas. Barney tells
Ted that there is a roof-top party, but he doesnt want Ted to go and has a whole plan for Vegas.
Barney tells Ted that he has to tell him something and Ted guesses that he slept with Robin. Ted
tells Barney how he figured it out and it was after Robin talked to Marshall about being quiet.
Robin blurts out that she slept with Barney and tries to explain the situation. Ted tells her that
he isnt mad and Barney is impressed that he isnt mad. Ted explains that he is dating someone
else anyway and that his mother is coming in to town and tells him that he should sleep with
his mother. At the party, Lily wants to keep the goat, but Robin tells them that in the morning,
they will not want to keep the thing. Lily tells Robin that she knows that her and Barney slept
together and she asks if it was amazing and she was curious. Ted continues to yell at Barney
about sleeping with Robin and he asks Barney to tell him how it happened. They start fighting
and he tells Ted that he can hit him. Ted punches Barney in the groin. Barney asks if they are
over the Robin thing, but Ted explains that he thought that Barney wouldnt do something bad
to him. Ted tells Barney that he started to put things in a box that he didnt need anymore and
maybe Barney belongs in the box. Barney wants to stop the conversation, but Ted gets out of
the limo and goes to the apartment. Barney is left in the limo and Ted goes to the party and
everyone surprises him. Older Ted: Oh, right, the goat. Its so funny, youre going to love this. So
later that night, the goat locked herself in the bathroom and was eating on of Robins washcloths
and... Wait, hold on, Robin wasnt living here on my 30th birthday. When did this happen? Oh,
wait, the goat was there on my 31st birthday. Sorry, I totally got that wrong.

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Rebound Bro
Season 3
Episode Number: 62
Season Episode: 18

Originally aired: Monday May 5, 2008


Writer: Jamie Rhonheimer
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky),
Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson),
Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Sarah Chalke (Stella Zinman), Will Forte
(Randy), Darcy Rose Byrnes (Lucy)
Guest Stars: Bill Parks (Crazy Willie), Blair Hickey (Pete), Floriana Lima (Haley),
Rome Shadanloo (Kate), Sonia Rockwell (Sadie), Dean West (Stapleton)
Production Code: 3ALH18
Summary: Barney gets a new wingman, and Ted discusses taking the next step
with Stella.

Ted decides that it is time for his re-


lationship with Stella (Sarah Chalke) to
take the next step. Stella is strangely re-
luctant, however, and she tells Ted a se-
cret: she has not had sex for five years.
Ted shares this with Marshall and Lily,
as he does everything, and when Stella
comes over on the night that she was
meant to go out with Ted and they acci-
dentally reveal that they know her secret,
Stella is upset that Ted betrayed her trust
and breaks up with him.
Meanwhile, Barney tries to find a Re-
bound Bro to whom he can be a wingman to help him get bed women. He misses Ted and,
unwilling to admit it, puts applications up on his blog. Receiving few responses except for an en-
thusiastic proposal from his colleague Randy (Will Forte), Barney resorts to calling up old friends
and previous wingmen. After many unsuccessful attempts (one already has a wingman, one is
married and has settled down, etc.) he decides to be the Bro to Randy and give him a chance.
Unfortunately, he discovers that Randy hasnt had sex in thirteen years and Barney is repeatedly
unsuccessful at getting him together with a woman, since Randy is uncomfortable with talking
to women, and gets nosebleeds whenever he gets an erection. Barney is unsuccessful until he
enlists Robins help to make Randy comfortable with small-talk with women, telling Robin that
he may have a sex tape with her to convince her to come and help Randy. Barney then discovers
that Randy was a police officer, albeit one that was fired for incompetence; nevertheless, Barney
knows being in the force impresses women, and quickly finds a woman who takes Randy home
with her. Barney seems happy until Robin comments that Ted doesnt know what hes missing.
Barney then tearfully remarks, You had to mention Ted, didnt you?
Stella comes to Teds house and admits that she broke up with him because she was afraid
it was getting too serious and she was looking for a reason not to get too close to him. Ted and
Stellas relationship goes even further than expected as Ted meets Stellas daughter and gets to
know her. Later, Stella tells Ted that her sister (who was previously meant to take care of Stellas
daughter while Stella and Ted had sex) is still in town and can take care of Stellas daughter.
Stella and Ted rush to a motel, where they finally consummate their relationship. When Ted

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jokingly picks up the phone to tell Marshall and Lily about it after the deed is done, Stella
pushes him off the bed in an equally lighthearted manner.

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Everything Must Go
Season 3
Episode Number: 63
Season Episode: 19

Originally aired: Monday May 12, 2008


Writer: Chris Harris (II), Jonathan Groff (II)
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Britney Spears (Abby), Petrea Burchard (Female Gallery Patron),
Johnny Palermo (Cafe Guy), Jennifer Lothrop (Woman), Hallie Lambert
(Kate), Steve Hasley (Walter), Larry Wilmore (Dr. Greer), Todd Sherry
(Lawrence), Matt Besser (Vendor), Justin Alston (Cool Black Guy), Katy
Savoy (Karen), Kathy Uyen (Julia)
Production Code: 3ALH19
Summary: Marshall and Lily need money to fix their apartments crooked floor.
Meanwhile, Barney and Abby go to the bar to flaunt their relationship
in Teds face.

Teds narration kicks off the show with


an explanation that its possible to do
something correctly 100 times in a row.
To illustrate his point, we see one of Lilys
kindergartners draw an endless series of
rainbow pictures, one after another, until
Lily breaks down and says, Youre kid-
ding! Arent you sick of these things?
Back at the apartment, Marshall and Lily
are still trying to figure out how to deal
with the crooked floors at their new place.
Apparently, fixing the problem will be
more expensive than they had expected
and Marshall suggests that Lily sell her designer clothes to make up the difference. He says he
would sell his stuff too, but hes not sure it would sell well. He tells her he even set up a Web site
to get things going: www.lilyandmarshall selltheirstuff .com. Lily is less than enthused and con-
siders a Web site of her own: www.guyforceshiswife todressinagarbagebag forthenexthreeyears
.com.
Barney finally catches up to Abby and jumps into her cab to confront her. She confesses what
shes been up to - telling women Barney is a scumbag because he slept with her and never called
- and admits shes not happy about Stella and Teds relationship. Barney tells her that he and
Ted arent friends anymore, and a Ted-bashing session ensues, followed by Barney and Abby
sleeping together again.
As Lily sorts through her closet, Ted tells her he cant believe she actually wears everything
she owns. He claims to wear everything he has in his closet - but Robin confronts him about his
Red Boots. Ted insists that he can pull them off, but no one buys it.
Lily decides that she will sell her paintings. Again we hear Teds narrator voice saying that
sometimes you can do something right 100 times in a row. We see Marshall telling Lily that he
loves her paintings over and over - but when she tells him she wants to sell them, he says people
will only pay for real paintings. Lily is amazed that Marshall doesnt believe in her. Marshall

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tells her that they need $1,500 and she makes him agree that if she can sell three of her paintings
at $500 apiece, then she can keep everything in her closet.
Then Ted walks into the room, Red Boots pulled high over his pants. With a sense of satisfac-
tion, he says, ...pulling them off... Lily shows her paintings at a friends art gallery one night,
but doesnt have much luck selling them. At the end of the night, a woman approaches her and
tells her she loves the top Lily is wearing. Lily protectively tell the woman her shirt is not for sale.
Next, Lily displays her paintings at a coffee show and asks Robin and Ted to build some buzz
to draw interest. Again, shes not very successfu: Robin keeps calling the painting neat and Ted
snarkily asks her if the painting is neat or neato burrito. In bed, Barney and Abby are still
bad-mouthing Ted and come up with a plan to show him how lame he is in a relationship.
Not ready to give up, Lily sets up shop on the street next to a guy selling socks to get heroin
money. Things arent looking good and she starts o leave when a gay couple without kids - a
G-CWOK as Ted calls them - buy one of her paintings.
Setting their plan in motion, Barney and Abby arrive at the bar wearing matching blue
sweaters. They announce that they are dating - but Abby cant help but tell Ted she misses
him.
Ted tells Barney to stop because he is on to them, but Barney takes it to the next level and
proposes to Abby. Abby doesnt realize its part of the joke, says yes and runs off excitedly to call
her mother.
Lily, hopeful, calls the gay couple to find out if theyre interested in seeing her other paintings.
They admit that they only bought it for the frame. When she asks for her painting back, they tell
her they threw it away.
And so, not keeping up her end of the bargain, Lilys puts her clothes up for sale and begins
to reminisce about how she found her favorite dress. It was the spring of 2004 and she was going
through a tough time. But walking down the street in that dress, she elicited a da-amn - two
syllables - from a man on the street. Then she realizes that it was actually Robin who bought the
dress.
All of a sudden, Marshall rushes in. He and Ted went down to the gay couples apartment to
look for her painting. (Ted adds that he asked them about the Red Boots and they said, ...pulling
them off...) Marshall runs in to tell Lily how Ted and he went down to the G-CWOKs apartment.
Ted chimes in that he asked them about his boots. They said pulling.....them....off.)
Marshall went to look for her painting in the garbage, but discovered that a veterinarian took
it. They tracked him down at his office, where they found Lilys painting hanging on the wall of
one of the examination rooms. They found out that a dog, one of the patients, arrived angry but
quickly calmed down when he saw Lilys painting. as usual. When the dog saw Lilys painting in
the exam room it became calm. Apparently, the same thing happened with every dog that entered
that room.
Marshall convinces the vet to buy four more of her paintings and decides that he will use the
extra $500 to set up a Web site and sell Lilys paintings to veterinarians around the world.
Barney goes to Abbys apartment looking for a tie he thinks he left there, and she immediately
starts talking about planning their wedding. Barney needs an out and tells her he cant marry
her because he promised Ted he wouldnt. Barney tells her Ted is still in love with her, gives her
Teds address and tells her to stop by at 2am since Ted works late.

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Miracles
Season 3
Episode Number: 64
Season Episode: 20

Originally aired: Monday May 19, 2008


Writer: Carter Bays, Craig Thomas
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Sarah Chalke (Stella Zinman), Darcy
Rose Byrnes (Lucy)
Guest Stars: Jayden Lund (Bill), Shelby Zemanek (Six-Year-Old Robin), Anthony
Palermo (Customs Guy), John Getz (Bob Hewitt), Vincent Fenequito
(Korean General), Doug Benson (Cool Customs Guy), Taira Soo (Nurse)
Production Code: 3ALH20
Summary: Ted is in a car accident that prompts Marshall to talk about miracles.
Everyone flashbacks to prior moments in their lives.

In Miracles, the Season 3 finale,


Ted tells the story of the taxi ride that
changed his life. As he stops to tie his
shoes, he missed three cabs and gets into
the fourth when... well, Ted backtracks
before telling us what happened in the
cab.
That morning, at about 10am, Ted ar-
rives at his apartment looking for beer. He
is stressed out because while at brunch
with Stella, she invited him to her sisters
wedding - six months away! She assumed
that they would still be together then, and
Ted freaked out.
Barney tells the gang his rule to never plan ahead for something that is farther away than
the amount of time youve been dating - illustrated by the time he ripped up a pair of Bruce
Springsteen concert tickets Ted had bought for a date. Ted had been dating this particular girl
for just two weeks and Barney told him that he wouldnt even remember Robin by the time the
concert came around...
When Stella invites Ted to her sisters wedding, Ted clams up and tells her they need to talk.
When theyre finished talking, Stella walks away.
When Lily hears Teds story, she smacks him for his commitment-phobic ways. But Ted ex-
plains that he is worried that if hes feelings now, it probably wont be the last time; he would
rather break up with Stella now than six months down the line.
Back to the cab ride: Finished tying his shoes, Ted takes the fourth taxi to pass him - only to
get into an accident.
The hospital calls Marshall, who calls Lily, who calls Robin. They all rush to the hospital,
running in slow motion to an ominously sad song, and arrive at the hospital to find Ted is
unharmed, eating Jell-O.
While he is fine physically, Ted is emotionally distraught and having second thoughts about
how he left things with Stella. Being unhurt in the accident is giving him a second chance, and
he wants to get back together with Stella.

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Marshall insists that the accident was a miracle and gets laughed at by Robin, who says
theres no such thing.
Marshall fights back: The scene is MacLarens Pub, March 2006. Barney, Marshall and Ted
are throwing pencils in the air, trying to get them to stick to the bar ceiling. One of the pencils
drops back down, bounces off the ground, and lodges itself straight up inside of Barneys nose -
but causes no injury.
Marshall rests his case; miracles do exist.
Upon hearing Barneys name, Lily remembers she never called to tell him Ted was in the
hospital. She calls him, but Barney hangs up on her. Lily pretends that hes still on the line and
starts a make-believe conversation, but but Ted figures it out.
Barney hightails it out of a meeting, someone takes his cab, and he starts running for the
hospital.
Back at the hospital, Robin again tells Marshall there is no such thing as miracles. This time,
his example takes us to John F.
Kennedy airport, July 1999. Marshall is returning from a trip to Amsterdam and looks con-
cerned as he passes his bag to the security guard. In a stroke of luck - a miracle - the guards
change shifts at that moment. The new guard looks Marshall up and down, and says, Amster-
dam - Float on through, brother and gives him the peace sign. He takes one look at Marshall
and says Amsterdam, float on through brother as he flashes Marshall a peace sign.
Finally, Stella arrives at the hospital. Ted tells her he loves her and asks if they can start
fresh. Stella jumps on top of him.
Again, Marshall calls it a miracle. Robin, of course, still disagrees.
Lilys kindergarten class - April 2008: Marshall is having a crisis and contemplates begging
for his old job at the law firm. Lily steps out to get more glue for her students and asks Marshall
to watch the kids while shes out.
to entertain them, Marshall tries on the childrens hats and performs moments from history.
We then flash forward to Marshall, back at the law firm, in his bosses office. He apologizes and
his boss agrees to give him another chance. Then Marshalls head starts to itch really bad. He
caught lice from the kids hats! He cant think of anything but the itch, freaks out and yells out
that he has lice. His boss gets angry, yells back at him and tells him to get out. If he hadnt
gotten lice, he would have been back at his old job two weeks later when the authorities showed
up. A miracle, he says. Robin is not convinced.
When Stella leaves Teds room, Lily gives her a hug and says shes happy theyre back together.
Stella starts to explain that she and Ted never broke up, but realizes that as far as Ted was
concerned, they had broken up.
Stella confronts Ted; he tells her to forget what happened, but she can shake the feeling that
Ted really had wanted to break up with her. She tells him that if he felt this way now, hell feel
that way again. This time their breakup is mutual.
Next, Ted gets a call from a nurse; he is Barneys emergency contact. Apparently, after running
the entire way to the hospital, Barney was exhausted and distracted by the sight of the guy who
stole his cab walking into the hospital. Not paying attention to where he was going, he stepped
out into the road, right in front of a bus.
Teds and Barneys reunion is emotional, with the pair proclaiming they arent just friends,
but brothers. Marshall now insists that two miracles occurred today. A frustrated Robin sticks
out her tongue at him. Marshall finally asks why she doesnt believe in miracles.
Apparently, when Robin was little her pet dog got sick and had to be put to sleep. But to
protect her, Robins parents came up with an elaborate ruse: her dogs life was saved thanks to a
new procedure, they told her, but the side effect was that he had been transformed into a turtle.
She was bummed that her dog had forgotten his old tricks in the process, but was happy he was
alive.
Years passed before she realized what had really happened.
When Ted is released from the hospital, he rushes to find Stella. Marshall asks Barney what
flashed before his eyes before he was hit by the bus. Lily and Marshall joke that he probably saw
boobs, suits and scotch, but as they laugh Robin walks in and Barney stares at her quietly for a
long time.
When Ted tracks Stella down, he tells her the accident changed him. He asks her to marry
him.

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Season Four
How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Do I Know You?
Season 4
Episode Number: 65
Season Episode: 1

Originally aired: Monday September 22, 2008


Writer: Carter Bays, Craig Thomas
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen),
Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin),
Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), David Henrie (Son), Lyndsy Fonseca
(Daughter), Sarah Chalke (Stella Zinman)
Guest Stars: Kyles Archer (Mark Johnson), Heidi Lynne Herschbach (April), Alonza
Maxwell (Bartender), Nicole Lin Taylor (Sexy Blonde)
Production Code: 4ALH01
Summary: Stella has to give Ted an answer. Barney wants to say something to
Robin.

The third season of How I Met Your


Mother ended with Ted popping the
question to Stella after realizing that she
was the woman he wanted to be with.
The new season opened with Old Ted ex-
plaining to his kids that the longest pause
theyll ever experience is the one that fol-
lows asking the question, Will you marry
me?
Current Ted flashed through the vari-
ous possible responses, including Stella
flatly saying, no, and even laughing
hysterically as she said, no. There was
even a response where she had to say
no because the quarterback of the high
school football team already asked her. But if youre lucky, she may answer with the single
greatest word in the English language, Old Ted said.
Yes, Stella said.
Ted and Stella spent the summer happily engaged while Lily went back to painting, Barney
continued his rehabilitation, Robin continued telling scary stories on the news ... and Marshall,
still unemployed, kept asking everyone what they were doing.
At the bar with the gang, Robin said she was sick of her job. She said she wasnt telling real
news, she was just scaring people every night with stories about dental floss poisoning their
families. Im like the boogeyman with a teleprompter, she said, prompting Barney to laugh a
little too much.
Barney called Lily over to get something off his chest: Hes in love with Robin. I slept with
her once and I caught feelings, he told her. Meanwhile, Marshall was telling Ted he didnt know
Stella very well because he didnt know her favorite foods, hobbies or the color of her eyes. Barney
told Lily all he could think about was Robin, even as a blonde girl walked out of his room. She
said he couldnt be in love with Robin and continue sleeping with everything that moves. He
insisted he didnt want to be her boyfriend, he just wanted to be with her all the time, smell her
hair, ask about her day.
Ted made Stella dinner that night, which she found to be pretty sexy. She particularly enjoyed
his pesto, until he revealed his secret ingredient peanuts. She collapsed and was rushed to the

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hospital. The next morning, Ted wanted to know everything about Stella: her first kiss, first time
she had sex.
Lily urged Barney to call Robin. He dialed her up and nervously squealed a little something
into the phone before hanging up. I left a voicemail, he said. You left a voice, Lily replied, but
it wasnt male. When Robin called back, Lily encouraged Barney to ask her something.
How are you feeling today? Barney asked.
Fine, Robin said.
Then Lily made him ask her something personal.
At what age did you first get your period? Barney asked.
Lily told him to just ask Robin out, but he hung up before doing it and pretended it was all a
hidden camera prank. Lily was, in fact, on camera in Barneys apartment.
Ted learned that Stella had never seen Star Wars, his favorite movie. Marshall was outraged.
He said it was important whether or not Stella liked it. Its just a movie, Ted insisted.
121 awesome minutes later, as the Star Wars theme music ramped to a crescendo while Ted
and Marshall watched, Ted said, OK, if Stella doesnt like this movie, I cant marry her.
No, you cant, Marshall replied.
Want to watch it again? Ted asked.
Yes, I do, Marshall said.
Lily tricked Barney into meeting Robin at a fancy restaurant.
Back at the apartment, Ted decided to show Stella Star Wars. As it started, she got up to
grab a beer.
The movies already started, Ted said.
Yeah, its just some words flying through space, Stella said. Im not gonna read that any-
way.
Ted whimpered, and a worried Marshall popped up from behind the couch saying, Off to a
bad start.
You need to get a job, Ted told Marshall.
I really do, dont I? Marshall replied.
Barney was being ultra-nice to Robin at dinner, not taking opportunities to make crass jokes
or glance at their waitress ample bosom, much to Robins dismay.
Ted kept a close eye on Stella as they watched the movie. She wanted to make out a little and
he kept repeating fun facts about the film. She realized it was important to him that she enjoy
the movie, but said she couldnt with him staring at her the whole time. She sent him to the
bedroom so she could watch alone. A second later, Marshall popped up from behind the couch,
asking, Should I leave, too?
Stella yelped and Ted came running back out from the bedroom asking, What part? What
part?
At the restaurant, Robin finally asked Barney what his deal was and he said he just doesnt
always want to be that guy. He asked her to tell him something about her day and she said
there was a job opening at a new cable news network that would be a legitimate news job for
her. She said she wouldnt apply because shes a joke and not a real journalist. Barney made her
promise shed apply, and she agreed. Later, they toasted, to taking chances.
Barney was just about to talk to Robin about his feelings about her when the bartender
announced last call. They ordered a round of drinks and Robin slipped off to the ladies room,
telling Barney, Hold that thought.
Back at the apartment, Stella reported back to Ted that she loved Star Wars. He ran off to
get champagne and Marshall got her to admit she hated it.
Its so stupid, Stella told Marshall. I mean, first of all, how do they understand that walking
bear they hang out with all the time?
Wookie, Marshall said, sadly.
Yeah, she said. He goes, Hmmmm, (doing her best Chewbacca impression), and theyre all,
like, thats a good point, bear! Lets try that.
Marshall told Stella Star Wars is his favorite movie of all time. He watches it when hes home
sick, on rainy Sundays, on Christmas Eve.
Do you actually think you can pretend to like a movie that you hate for the rest of your life?
Marshall asked her.
I do, she said.

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Then Teds a lucky man, Marshall said.


Back at the restaurant, Robin brought the waitress, April, back with her, asking her, Haaaaaaaave
you met Barney?
She introduced them and told Barney she was trying to repay him, wing-woman style. Robin
had told April that Barney was a second baseman for the New York Yankees.
Barney told April hes not a New York Yankee and said that he was just a guy whos in love
with the girl who just left, and shes never going to feel the same way. At least thats how he told
the story to Lily. Thats when April came out of his bedroom, asking where her family should pick
up the tickets to the game.
Lily made Barney choose between Robin and bimbos.
I choose bimbos, he said, launching into a speech. Bimbos make me happy. Bimbos make
me feel alive. Bimbos make me want to pretend to be a better man. This whole thing with Robin
was just a fling, but, at the end of the day, my heart belongs to bimbos.
Lily said it was just a defense mechanism because he didnt want to let himself get hurt. She
said, Youre just confused.
Oh, Im not confused, Lily, he said. You know who is confused? Bimbos. Theyre easily
confused. Its one of the thousand little things I love about them. I love their vacant, trusting
stares. Their sluggish, unencumbered minds, their unresolved daddy issues. I love them, Lily,
and they love me. Bimbos have always been there for me, through thick and thin mostly thin.
B-man dont do thick crust, What up?!
He reached for a high-five, but Lily walked out. On his way out of the living room, Barney
checked his watch and turned on the TV for a moment to get a glimpse at Robin reading the
news.

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The Best Burger in New York


Season 4
Episode Number: 66
Season Episode: 2

Originally aired: Monday September 29, 2008


Writer: Craig Thomas, Carter Bays
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Charlene Amoia (Wendy)
Guest Stars: Regis Philbin (Himself), Casey Washington (Strip Club Guy), Jay Lay
(Nicest Guy in the World), Mandy McMillian (Waitress)
Production Code: 4ALH02
Summary: A burger-mad Marshall is on a quest to find the place where he ate
the first hamburger he ever had in New York.

Old Ted explained to his kids how


much New York had gone uphill. The
streets got cleaner, the rents got higher.
Clubs and favorite dive bars became fast-
food chains, drug stores and Goliath Na-
tional Bank. Barney loved the bank, in
particular, because his company had just
taken it over.
Marshall, meanwhile, was beaten
down by countless job interviews, trying
to give himself pep talks in the mirror be-
fore each one.
Interview #1: You are confident, you
are energetic. You are focused.
Interview #2: You are flexible on
salary. You are willing to compromise. And youre not going to cry this time.
Interview #3: You are sad. You are beaten down. You will get through, come home, get in your
big underpants, and take a nap.
That brought us to the night of the burger. McClarens had a new chef and the server sug-
gested the burger, and, even though Robin hadnt eaten in two days (because shed ended her
seven-day fast five days early), they couldnt settle on what to order. They finally got burgers, all
around, but Robins came last.
Everyone loved them. Everyone except Marshall. He said that when youve had the best
burger in New York City, every other burger tastes like my grandpas feet.
Flash back to eight years earlier, when Marshall first moved to the big city from Minnesota and
was scared to go outside. He finally did, and stumbled onto a nondescript burger joint tucked
between a taxidermist and a triple-X bookstore. This burger was delicious and he rushed home
to tell Ted about it. Hed noticed Regis Philbins autographed picture on the wall and figured it
was a celebrity hotspot.
The newcomers to the city couldnt find the place, and took three hours to get back their
apartment.
Flash back to modern day and the guy sitting next to Marshall said he couldnt help but
overhear him talking about this great burger. The guy thought he knew which place Marshall
was talking about. It was called The Corner Bistro. This did not sit well with Marshall, who

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sarcastically thanked the guy for pointing out the highest-rated burger in the Zagat guide after
hed spent a quarter of his life looking for this one burger.
Thanks a lot guy, Marshall told him. Let me return the favor: Great cup of coffee... Star-
bucks, he whispered. SHHHHH!
Marshall said hed tried every so-called best burger in New York City trying to find that burger.
Just forget about her, he said. We flashed through a series of places where Marshall tried to
find the elusive burger every one had a picture of Regis on the wall, but none was the right
place.
Ted recalled the one time they thought theyd cracked the case, when Barney realized that
Regis worked out at his gym. They went there to ask Regis about it, and he remembered the
burger, but couldnt remember the place.
Of course I remember the place, Regis told them. It was the best burger I ever had. I still
have dreams about this burger. Beautiful, haunting dreams. I wake up at night, going, Get out
of my head, burger. Get out!
He asked if they knew where it was, and if you say its the Corner Bistro, Im gonna smack
you in the face!! He gave Barney his cell phone number and said to call, day or night, if they
ever found the place.
Thats where my story ends, Marshall said. Now Im doomed to walk the Earth forever,
searching for that green door and red neon sign that says, Burger.
Robin thought she knew the place, and the gang headed downtown.
On their way there, Ted reminded Barney to call Regis, but he decided to text him. Regis
was in the middle of hosting Million Dollary Heads or Tails when he got the text and left the
contestant hanging there.
They got their burgers, and everyone loved them. But Marshall said, This isnt it.
When Robin suggested it was just a burger, Marshall launched into a colorful speech about
the composition of that perfect burger. And you got our wedding vows off the Internet, Lily
responded.
Marshall, frustrated, walked out and Robin wondered if it was about more than a burger. Lily
explained that Marshalls been pretty down lately, without a job. She explained his underpants
radius had grown out of control. One day, she came home and he hadnt put on pants all day.
It was funny at first, and then one day he opened the door in his underpants to get the paper.
Then he went downstairs to get the mail in his underpants. Finally, he went out to dinner in
his underpants. The lower your self-esteem gets, Ted explained. The greater your underpants
radius becomes.
If Marshall says this isnt the place, this isnt place, Lily said. She asked the server if theyd
changed cooks. She explained that the place was modeled after another place uptown. The gang
raced there. On their way, Regis called Barney and asked where they were, and Barney told him
about the mix-up.
If you get there before me, Regis said, medium-rare.
Onions? Barney asked.
ONIONS?!?! Regis replied.
The approached the familiar street that had all the other places that Marshall remember,
including a guy handing out fliers, only to find that the burger place had been replaced by a
Goliath National Bank ATM. One of 9.000 convenient locations, Barney chimed in.
This is your fault, you and your stupid bank, Lily told Barney, while punching him. She
started shouting out to passers by that Goliath National Bank sucks. Barney told Marshall to
finally tell Lily that he got a job at Goliath National Bank. Thats why Barneys been talking so
much about it, so youd be excited for me. He said it wasnt his dream, but its a good job and
would give him a reason to wear pants.
The guy handing out fliers said the burger place wasnt gone, it had just moved to a new
location. He said hed tell them where it was for $100. If only there were an easy, convenient
way to get some cash right now, Barney said, as they all looked adoringly at the ATM.
At the place, Marshall took a bite and said, This is it. Its exactly the same. Its the best burger
in New York.
The group all enjoyed their burgers, Barney worried that he might get it pregnant. If he does
get it pregnant, Marshall said, Ive got dibs on the delicious burger babies.

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Just then, Regis said, This isnt it, and got up to leave. But as he chewed the last bits, he
stopped and realized, Wait. This is it!

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I Heart NJ
Season 4
Episode Number: 67
Season Episode: 3

Originally aired: Monday October 6, 2008


Writer: Greg Malins
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Neil
Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky),
Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Sarah Chalke (Stella Zinman), Darcy
Rose Byrnes (Lucy)
Guest Stars: Edward Kiniry-Ostro (Brian), Shammy Dee (Matisse), Michael Kagan
(Joel Adams), Elaine Kao (Girl from Couple), John Pollono (Guy from
Couple)
Production Code: 4ALH04
Summary: When Stellas babysitter cancels, a night out turns into the gang hang-
ing out at her place, and Ted talks up New Jersey until he learns
Stella wants him to move there after marriage.

Barney decided that he was going to


pick up a lesbian as Ted took off for New
Jersey, where Stella lived. His relation-
ship commute was making him miss out
on everything with his friends and with
Stella. She suggested that he have his
friends go visit her in New Jersey. Barney
said he couldnt go because hed thrown
all his gold medallions away. A string of
flashbacks showed Teds several previous
insults toward New Jersey, including a T-
shirt that read, I hate New Jersey on the
back, and heading toward the bathroom,
saying, Ive got to a massive New Jersey.
Robin was getting sicker and sicker of
her job but finally got to quit because she got a call saying she got the big anchor job. She made
an on-air speech about emerging as an ambitious butterfly after arriving at Metro 1 as a cocoon.
Ted loved the speech because he wrote it.
At Stellas house in New Jersey, the gang tried to find a way back to New York. Stella invited
them to the basement to play Scrabble. She said the X tile was hard to read because it had
once gone all the way through her dog. Then she suggested that she and Ted get a dog when he
moves in. Oh my God, am I moving to New Jersey, he wondered.
Barney, after a series of bad jokes, refused to drop his unreciprocated fist bump until someone
bumped it back. He offered Lily up to $10,000 to fist bump him, but she refused.
Robins first day at her new job turned out to be just an audition. She missed that detail
while dancing around celebrating. Ted and Marshall went to the PriceCo. big-box store for beer
a 144-can case and debated the merits of suburban life, including riding lawn mowers and
recliners, all with cup holders.
Robin begged for her old job back, but she had to get back to the studio from New Jersey in
30 minutes to read the 11 oclock news.
Ted told Stella that he didnt want to move to New Jersey. He said there was no reason she
and Lucy couldnt move there.

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Stella said she couldnt move because her daughter Lucy goes to school in New Jersey, her
friends and family are there, she owns a house there and, as of June 1, Im the deputy mayor.
Yes, Ted replied, but my apartment is close to the subway.
Stella didnt want to uproot Lucy, but Ted said it would be great for her to grow up in New
York, what he called the greatest city in the world and the intellectual and cultural hub of the
planet.
She told Ted New Jersey was better than New York, because New York was full of weirdoes,
which kicked off a hilarious geographical point-counterpoint.
New York has Broadway, we win right there, Lily said. But New Jersey has Atlantic City,
Stella countered.
New York has Greenwich Village, Ted said, but Stella responded with New Jersey has the
shore. Springsteen, Stella said. Sinatra, Ted replied. Sinatras from Hoboken New Jersey,
Stella said. Yeah, but what city is he singing about? Ted replied. Its not Secaucus, Secaucus.
Lily told Stella she understood not being able to see herself living in New York, and said
Marshall was the same way before he moved there, but now he wouldnt want to live anywhere
else. But Marshall, embracing a massive jar of olives from PriceCo, shocked the room when he
shouted, I hate New York! He said he was too big for New York.
Marshall said he loved the PriceCo because it was so big and he could move around. He said
all the stores in New York are tiny and hes always bumping into things. Im like a monster that
rose out of the ocean to destroy bodegas, he said. He said all the doors in new York were built
150 years ago and theyre too small for him.
Plus, he said, Its so loud all the time. Its the city that never sleeps. But guess what? I like
to sleep. He said hes been tired for eight years.
Ted tried to compromise with Stella, saying, I get it. I guess ... we could live ... in Brooklyn.
Exasperated, she told him to live wherever he wants, and she left the room. Ted went to find
Stella, but instead ran into Lucy, who couldnt fall asleep without a bedtime story, which he read
her. After putting Lucy to bed, he told Stella hed move there. New Jersey wins, he said.
Robin, having raced from Jersey to Manhattan on Lucys bike, got back to the newsroom in
time to read the 11 oclock news, and the top story was about a panda at the zoo getting its first
tooth. I guess you could call it a molar bear, she read off the teleprompter. Then she quit for
good.
She met the gang back at the bar and told them that she also didnt get the big anchor
position at the cable network, but she was offered another job. They asked her to be a foreign
correspondent. Im moving to Japan, she said.

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Intervention
Season 4
Episode Number: 68
Season Episode: 4

Originally aired: Monday October 13, 2008


Writer: Stephen Lloyd
Director: Michael Shea
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Charlene Amoia (Wendy), Matt Boren
(Stuart), Virginia Williams (Claudia)
Guest Stars: Shaila Vaidya (Cindy), Michelle Gunn (Mrs. Abergast), Emily Foxler
(Claudette), Alex Lombard (Hot Chick), Declan Beaty (Gilbert Aber-
gast), Michael C. Alexander (Intervention Leader)
Production Code: 4ALH03
Summary: When Ted is packing his stuff for his move to New Jersey, he discovers
that the gang was going to hold an intervention for his engagement to
Stella and demands they hold it anyway.

Ted, Robin, Marshall and Lily sat at


a table at McClarens debating whether
Barneys latest scheme to get a woman in
bed would work. He came racing into the
bar, dressed as an older version of him,
and told a girl named Cindy that he was
from the future and that she had to sleep
with the younger version of him that was
going to come into the bar in a few min-
utes. They decided it wouldnt work, but
when Barney walked in later, Cindy of-
fered to buy him a drink.
Meanwhile, the group talked about the
big changes that awaited them: Marshall and Lily moving to their new home, Ted moving in with
Stella in New Jersey and Robin moving to Japan.
Robin thought that every move was a chance to dump old stuff and move on. Ted found a
picture of the group when they first moved to New York and Robin said he should dump it.
Marshall asked Ted to cover the whole security deposit on their apartment because of Teds
many damaging blunders in the place. He tore off part of the wall with a bookshelf loaded with
encyclopedias, and he messed up the ceiling while swinging a medieval flail. Barney also punched
a hole in the wall, frustrated because Ted broke up a girl fight between Robin and Lily.
There was also a scorch mark. It prompted Old Ted to tell the story of their friend Stewarts
intervention for alcoholism. The gang celebrated with some beers. Marshall then wore a Dr. Seuss
hat that necessitated another intervention. Then, interventions became common around the
apartment for Lilys weird British accent, for Robins over-zealous spray tanning, and Barneys
fire-infused magic tricks. The last of which caused the scorch mark on the wall.
Ted realized that their intervention banner burned up with Barneys last act, but remem-
bered he saw an intervention banner in the closet while packing. It had letters addressed to him
with it. The gang was planning an intervention for him about Stella. He knew they didnt want
him to marry her.
Ted wanted to know what their problem was with Stella. Barney walked in the door gloating
about the Future Barney trick working. Barney saw that the Stella intervention was happening

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and pulled a letter from his jacket. As he read it, he blew the letter up in flames. Barney told
Ted that getting married was stupid and claimed he would still be just as awesome and dating
22-year-olds when hes 80. Barney vowed to land a 22-year-old while in his old-man makeup.
Robin read a letter, but it was one shed already read at Teds pronunciation intervention. She
said she didnt have a letter about Stella because shes his ex-girlfriend and anything she said
would sound catty. Plus, Im hotter than her, so who cares?
Ted wanted Marshall to read his letter. Marshalls letter said Ted didnt know Stella well
enough to help raise her 7-year-old daughter and that he wasnt doing himself, Stella or the kid
any favors. Marshall said that was written a long time ago, but theyd changed their minds and
therefore decided not to have the intervention. Ted thought maybe they had a point and worried
that Stella might not like his stuff. He began unpacking and said he was never leaving this
apartment.
Ted said he wasnt ready for the responsibility of raising a kid and instantly becoming an
old man. Meanwhile at the bar, Barney, in old-man makeup, was having trouble landing his
20-something lady.
Marshall and Lily decided Ted had snapped and Marshall went to go talk some sense into
him. Instead, though, Marshall decided that he wasnt leaving, either. Robin tried to talk sense
into him, telling him he couldnt do that to Lily and that they would make their new home with
the slanted floors and nearby sewage treatment plant into a wonderful place. Tell him Lily,
Robin said. Lilys response, Its a black hole where dreams go to die!
Robin called them all cowards and then realized she couldnt move to Japan. What was I
thinking? she said. Its so far away, I dont speak the language, and I dont even have any good
pictures of you guys.
They went to the bar to order the usual and they saw Barney as his old man self making out
with a 20-something. Ted decided he was moving to New Jersey and Lily and Marshall should
move to their new place and Robin should move to Japan. He said they were all just trying to
put off growing up, desperately clinging to the past and in danger of ending up like Barneys
80-year-old self.
Ted said hed cover the security deposit because every dent represented a memory hed cherish
forever. He made them all promise to put aside $10 every week for the next year so they could
buy the most expensive bottle of Scotch at the bar, a $2,500 one, and toast the incredible life-
changing year theyd all had.
We quickly flashed forward to 2009, with the five of them raising a glass of their $2,500 Scotch
to one hell of a year. They decided the Scotch didnt taste any different from the $10 kind.
A lot of things did change that year, Old Teds voiceover said. But some things did stay the
same. Lily then suggested they take the party upstairs to the apartment, and they all got up to
leave.
In the end, there was one last intervention for Barney, who couldnt snap out of his old-man
routine.

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Shelter Island
Season 4
Episode Number: 69
Season Episode: 5

Originally aired: Monday October 20, 2008


Writer: Chris Harris (II)
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Sarah Chalke (Stella Zinman), Darcy
Rose Byrnes (Lucy), Jason Jones (Tony), Lyndsy Fonseca (Daughter),
David Henrie (Son)
Guest Stars: Derek Shizuto (Host), Annie Abrams (Desk Clerk), Aaron Hendry (Juice
Bar Guy), Danneel Harris (Nora)
Production Code: 4ALH05
Summary: Deciding to wed in three days, Ted and Stella suddenly see their plans
shattered by exes.

Stella was upset because her sister


was getting married before she and Ted
and her sister was stealing her dream
wedding on Shelter Island. Stella secretly
hoped it would all fall apart and it did.
Soon, Stella and Ted were having dinner
with Stellas sister, whos been a vegan
but was wolfing down a juicy steak, talk-
ing about how upset she was that her
fiance ran off with a vitamin consultant
from Whole Foods.
I gave up makeup for him. I gave up
showering for him. I gave up shaving my
armpits for him, she said. Hard to imag-
ine where it all went wrong, Ted replied.
Ted and Stella had a telepathic conversation where they shared glanced and agreed they
should help her out. Ted thought she meant paying for dinner, then Stella told her sister that
theyd take over her wedding and pay for it all. Ted and I will get married this Sunday.
Ted was surprised by the announcement, but went along with it. Ted wondered if they were
ready, but Stella said shed wasted years waiting for her daughters dad, Tony, to be ready for
this. She also wished hed been more spontaneous. Ted wanted to prove he was spontaneous,
so he agreed to the wedding, then splashed a glass of water on his face at the dinner table.
Old Ted gave his kids the moral of the story before the story even got started, Dont ever, ever
invite an ex to your wedding. If someone had given me that advice, well, it would have changed
everything. We flashed to Ted trying to convince Robin to make it to the wedding, but she was in
Tokyo, finally doing real news. She was reading the news with a chimp throwing marshmallows
at her. She agreed to go.
Lily noticed that Barney wasnt trying to talk Ted out of getting married and wondered why.
He admitted that Ted getting married was in his best interest. Snap to Barney working on a huge
project, writing math formulas on a white board under the title, How Can I Have Sex with Robin
Again? There were four key factors: Vulnerable, Booze, Nostalgic and Insecure, which, Barney
realized led to just one conclusion. Get her drunk at Teds wedding.

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So youre back on Robin? Lily asked. Hopefully, Barney said.


Lily doubted Barney would be able to last until Robins arrival, with other bridesmaids throw-
ing themselves at him. The gang headed out to Shelter Island and the place where the wedding
would be held, The Namaste Yoga and Meditation Collective. I dont you about you guys, but
namaste here any longer than I have to, Marshall said. They soon found out there was a strict
no-alcohol policy at the center and all the food was 100 percent vegan.
Ted told Marshall, Lily and Barney that he and Stella had a problem: He told Stella that
Robin was on her way and she was upset that Ted invited her. You dont know what its like for a
bride to see her husbands ex at her wedding, Stella told him. Flash to a dream sequence where
Robin hugged Stella and said, smiling, Your new husband used to nail me, like, three times a
day. Stella said having exes around brings back unresolved things and the spark might come
back. Stella said she would never invited Lucys dad, but Ted said she should and Stella bristled.
Tonys the last person Id want there, she said.
The gang helped Ted decide that he had to uninvited Robin. He was about to call when Barney
said hed do it. Barney called Robin, who said she was just about to leave. Barney told Ted he
couldnt reach her and that she was already on her way.
Ted decided hed just tell Stella she had to deal with it. Lily said Ted should wait for the next
wedding crisis, solve it, be the hero, then tell Stella about Robin. Like, four minutes later, there
was another crisis: Tony didnt want to drive Lucy (Stellas daughter) to the wedding. Ted decided
hed drive down to New York, get Tony to let him bring Lucy to the wedding.
Stellas sister tracked down Barney and shed heard he was a total man-whore. Tomorrow
night, I want to do things so dirty and so depraved that I forget this was supposed to be my
wedding, she told him. Im kind of here with someone, Barney said. Bring her, Stellas sister
said as she walked away.
Ted went down to see Tony, who was practicing karate in his apartment. He convinced Tony
that Lucy should be at her mothers wedding. Tony was upset that theyd have a whole new
family and he wouldnt be a part of it, so Ted invited him to the wedding and Tony accepted.
Stellas sister came on to Barney again on the day of the wedding. Barney tried to keep
cool, saying, Dear, female: Thank you for your interest in Barney Stinson... She said his back
was going to look like a Jackson Polack. I regret to inform you that at this time there are
no positions available, Barney continued. Im a yoga instructor, she said. Every position is
available. Barney knew he wasnt going to make it. Lily said, Not a chance.
Lucy, Tony and Ted arrived, much to Stellas shock. We talked about this, no exes at our
wedding, Stella told Ted. Why would you do this? Just then, Robin walked up behind Ted and
said, Oh boy... what did Ted do this?!
Ted tried to convince Stella it wasnt weird for their exes to be at their wedding. Stella wanted
to talk to Robin and have Ted talk to Tony, which, he said, would have changed everything. But
he wanted to talk to Robin instead.
Robin said she was happy she was there but Ted said she couldnt go to the wedding. Oh,
thank God, she said. She told him, Do you know how it feels to be somebodys ex at their
wedding? Flash to Robins version of the dream sequence, where she and Stella hug and Stella
says, Suck it, bitch. I win.
Ted said there were no more feelings between he and Robin. But Robin said she thought that
if she changed her mind about marriage and kids, it was nice to know that Ted was there. She
said maybe there is something still between them. She told him she quit her job and she was
moving back to New York. I thought I wanted that job, but I want to come back to my real life,
she said. And I think you should come back to yours.
She told Ted not to get married, that he was rushing into it. She said, Youre just disappear-
ing into someone elses wedding, someone elses house, someone elses life, without a second
thought. He said that if Robin really felt that way, it was a good thing she wasnt going to the
wedding after all.
Robin went to find comfort in Barney, with some Scotch she smuggled in, but she saw that he
had a naked girl tied to his headboard and it wasnt Stellas sister, who arrived a minute later.
Old Ted told the kids that sometimes you think youre living one story, but the truth turns out
to be something else entirely. We saw Robin sitting on the ferry back toward New York and Ted
read a note. At the time I thought the story was about whether Robin should be at the wedding,

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Old Ted said, just as we saw Stella on the same ferry with Tony. It turned out Stellas concern
over exes at the wedding was about her own ex, not Robin.
Stella and Tony kissed as Robin looked on and Old Ted said, Seriously, kids. Never invite an
ex to your wedding.

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Happily Ever After


Season 4
Episode Number: 70
Season Episode: 6

Originally aired: Monday November 3, 2008


Writer: Jamie Rhonheimer
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin),
Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen),
Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Sarah Chalke (Stella Zinman), Darcy
Rose Byrnes (Lucy), Jason Jones (Tony)
Guest Stars: Eric Braeden (Robin Scherbatsky Sr.), Max Prado (Michael Sasser),
Meegan Godfrey (Becca), Michael Bolten (Kyle), Chris Dotson (Waiter),
Shelby Zemanek (Eight-Year-Old Robin), Andre Navarro (Waiter #2)
Production Code: 4ALH06
Summary: A chance sighting of Stella leads to the gang contemplating ways in
which theyd handle an unwanted encounter with a person from their
past.

Teds wedding day didnt go accord-


ing to plan after Stella took off. But
Ted insisted hed come out of it stronger
and wasnt thinking about her anymore.
Thats what time does, I guess, he told
his friends after thanking them for getting
him through it. Lily reminded him the
wedding was yesterday. Ted went to play
Kool & the Gang on the jukebox while
Barney mused that Stella might have
made the right choice. Barney thought
Ted, too, had pulled off the greatest train
dodge since Stand By Me well, not the
first kid, but the rest of them.
Two weeks later, his friends were mad
that he wasnt letting them help him out. Marshall wanted Ted to explode. The group talked
about where to eat, but Ted shot down every suggestion because it was either too close to Stellas
gym, her office or her mothers house. Ted had made a map of New York City with all the places
he could go because they were out of Stellas radius. Ted said that he and all Ohioans avoid
confronting awkward situations until they go away.
Lily remembered a tapas place someone told her about that was in the white zone. They
went there and she couldnt remember who told her until she did... after Stella walked in.
Ted panicked and the whole group hid under their table while Stella waited for her take-out
order. Lily gave Ted a hard time for hiding from Stella, but he told her there was someone shed
hide from, too: Gasser. He was a kid named Mike Sasser who she sat next to in ninth grade.
She blamed him for passing gas in class when it was really her, and he was made fun of so much
that he had to move to a different school.
Barney, too, gave Ted a hard time for hiding from Stella and claimed there wasnt anyone hed
hide from, until Ted mentioned Becca DeLucci, a woman in a federal prison who Barney used
to visit, conjugally. During his last visit, he messed things up by flirting with another inmate
during one of his visits and getting her caught in a fight. Barney said he now gets letters from

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her, saying shes going to get him the day she gets out of prison and hang his eyes from her
rear-view mirror.
They checked to see if all was clear and Stella appeared to be gone, so they took their seats
again when, sure enough, she re-emerged.
They all hid under the table again except for Barney, who was hiding under another table
where a group of ladies were having dinner. Robin said she wouldnt want to speak to the last
person shed want to see walk into the restaurant her dad walked in. She talked about how
he always wanted a son and that her full name is actually Robin Charles Scherbatsky Jr. She
had a lot bottled up that she wanted to say, but didnt have a chance. Ted realized that while all
of his friends were also haunted, it wasnt too late for him. He was going to talk to Stella. But
by the time he came out from under the table, Stella was gone. He tried to chase her out of the
restaurant, but her cab pulled away as he ran outside.
They all jumped into another cab and followed Stellas. Ted said he wanted to talk to Stella
like an adult, but Marshall wanted him to get mad. Marshall told Ted that Stella hated Star
Wars. It didnt work.
But when they realized that Stella was going home to Tonys apartment downtown, Ted got
angry. He pieced together that she moved to New York to be with Tony but she was going to make
him move to New Jersey. Ted got mad, he yelled, he pulled the window crank off the cab door.
Lily told Ted to really think about what he was going to tell her. Ted said he knew exactly what
he was going to tell her. We saw Stella get out of her cab and Ted walked up behind her and told
her she picked the wrong guy and that she was going to regret it. All youre going to do is go in
there and start your crappy, disappointing life that is not going to be nearly as happy as the one
you wouldve had with me. He told wasnt trying to win her back, but wanted her to know that
she was making a huge mistake. She said, I know. But that was only what he told his friends
he was going to tell her.
Ted got out of the cab ready to say all of that, but then... It all just went away, old Ted said,
after he saw Stella come home to Tony and her daughter Lucy. That was when he decided to let
his anger go. And that, kids, was the perfect ending to a perfect love story, old Ted said. It just
wasnt mine. Mine was still out there, waiting for me.

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Not a Fathers Day


Season 4
Episode Number: 71
Season Episode: 7

Originally aired: Monday November 10, 2008


Writer: Robia Rashid
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Lindsey Stoddart (Charlotte), Daniele Watts (Lori), Dan Lauria (Nolan),
Elena K. Smith (Teds Cousin), Michael Antosy (Recruit), Michael Hagi-
wara (Mr. Li), Michael McCafferty (Cabbie)
Production Code: 4ALH07
Summary: Barney creates a holiday to celebrate not being a father. Meanwhile,
Lily and Marshall are considering having a baby, but Lily first wants
advice from Ted and Robin.

Barney started the night with a quick


tutorial on The Cheerleader Effect, the
phenomenon of a group of women who
appear to be hot, but only as a group.
Each individual in the set, it turns out,
is incredibly unattractive. He said its
also known as the Bridesmaid Paradox,
Sorority Girl Syndrome, and, for a brief
period in the mid-90s, the Spice Girl Con-
spiracy Scary Spice, indeed.
Barney then took a call and discovered
hes apparently going to be a dad. There
was still some question as to whether his
fling was really pregnant, and Lily suggested it might be a false alarm. If one of my little Michael
Phelpses got loose, hes swimming for the gold. He started to panic, wondering :who in their
right mind would want to have kids.
Marshall and Lily were coming down with baby fever after seeing babies all over the place.
They started to get down to business when Robin, unemployed and living with them, emerged
and sat with them on the couch. They asked Ted if the crabby Robin would stay with him for a
night.
Barney had a heart to heart with God, asking him to get him out of his predicament. Just
then, his cell phone rang, in church, and he took the call. Barney danced with joy at the news
that he wasnt a father. He wanted to create a holiday, Not a Fathers Day. Marshall got news
that he couldnt have his special night with Lily because he had a breakfast meeting with clients
from China, which meant he had to work the night. Lily spilled the baby idea to Ted and Robin,
then asked whether they thought she and Marshall were ready to have a baby.
Lily worried that Marshall was only seeing what was cute about having a baby and not the
practical stuff. She was afraid all of the work would fall on her. Lily had Ted, pro-baby, and Robin,
anti-baby, present their cases. Then they teased Ted because hes basically already a dad. He
tells corny jokes, lectures everyone and makes silly comments to waitresses at restaurants.
Barney, meanwhile, was starting to hawk merchandise for Not a Fathers Day, which in-
cluded a Worlds Greatest Not a Dad mug, and Whos NOT Your Daddy? T-shirt, both avail-

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able at NotaFathersDay.com, he said. (Yes, the sites real. Look it up). Barneys prototype greet-
ing card included an image of what appeared to be an Asian hooker. Because on Not a Fathers
Day, you get a Thai youd actually wear, Barney explained, before asking Marshall for a word-
play five.
Ted said Robin was against babies because shes scared of them. Robin made a reasoned
argument about Lily having to make sure shes secure in who she is before becoming a mom.
But Lily found their neighbors babys sock under the couch and caught the baby bug. Before
they knew it, Lily was gone and had drank an entire bottle of wine. Next we saw, she was laying
on Marshalls desk at his office, saying, Put a baby in me, Marshall. Im ready.
Ted and Robin went back and forth about their positions on babies, with Robin teasing Ted for
being girlie and Ted telling Robin she doesnt have a heart. Back at the bar, Barney was swearing
in Not Dads, who took an oath on a box of condoms.
Back at Marshalls office, a drunken Lily was distracting Marshall with her baby-like antics
and her disrobing while he was trying to give his presentation. He drove her home and she fell
asleep in the car.
Ted discovered that Robin had stolen the baby sock and kept it in her purse. She was warming
to the idea, but said she wasnt in a position to have a kid because she had no job. They agreed
she could move in with Ted until she got back on her feet. Meanwhile, Barney was basking in
the glow of the great group of bros hed assembled in his Not Dads club. But Ted and Robin
told him to look closer at those guys and notice that he had a Cheerleader Effect of his own in
the works. All of the guys were complete losers. Barney then found the baby sock and marveled
in its cuteness.
The next morning, Lily apologized for her drunkenness the night before and assured Marshall
she knew hed be a great dad based on how he took care of her. Marshall, then, said he didnt
want to be a dad right away because he works too much and was so new at his job. He said he
wants to have kids someday, but wants to be ready for it.
A drunken Barney ended the night singing Cats in the Cradle at a karaoke bar while clutch-
ing the baby sock.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Woooo!
Season 4
Episode Number: 72
Season Episode: 8

Originally aired: Monday November 17, 2008


Writer: Carter Bays, Craig Thomas
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Bryan Callen (Bilson)
Guest Stars: Matthew Stephen Young (Mechanical Bull Operator), Jamie-Lynn
Sigler (Jillian), Krista Kalmus (Misty), Jae Suh (Crystal), Erika Med-
ina (Stacey), Kevin Christy (Sven #1), Sam Littlefield (Sven #2), Ted
Cannon (Sven #3)
Production Code: 4ALH09
Summary: A birthday party for one of Lilys co-workers leads to Robin connecting
with a group of single partiers known as the Woo Girls. Ted presents
a plan for Goliath National Banks new HQ.

Robin wanted to have a girls night


with Lily, but Lily already had plans to
go to a friends birthday party. Robin got
upset that she and Lily didnt get enough
quality time to hang out because Mar-
shall is always around, and she wanted
to have more girl time.
Barney thought he could solidify his
position as Teds best friend (note: Mar-
shall is Teds best friend) by giving him a
shot at designing Goliath National Banks
new headquarters in New York City. The
company was looking to hire Sven,
an uber-modern architecture collective
from Sweden. Barney wanted the job to
go to an American architecture firm, telling Bilson, With all due respect, it would be terrible
if a job that could go to a hard-working American architecture firm went to a bunch of French
guys. He suggested Ted for the job, and Barney and Marshall were excited to get Ted in on the
conference call when Barney and Marshall go into each others office and say the conference
call is about to start, then go up to the roof of the building to drink beer. Barney decided that
drinking at work made them basically Mad Men.
Im going to go smack a secretary on the ass, Barney said.
Thats so what they would do on that show, Marshall replied.
What show? Barney asked.
Ted was excited at the possibility of landing a huge job and being able to point to a building
in the New York skyline and proclaim it as his.
Lily and Robin headed out to Lilys friend Jillians birthday party at a cheesy bar when they
realized that Jillian is a Woo Girl. Whats a Woo Girl? A Woo Girl, Old Teds voiceover explained,
is a type of young woman, who like the cuckoo bird or the Whip-Poor-Will, gets get name from
the signature sound she makes.
Wooooo!

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

A woo can be elicited from a certain song coming on the jukebox (Sweet Home Alabama
plays); to half-priced shots; from a ride on a mechanical bull; to, well, pretty much anything,
Old Ted continued. Lily said Jillian didnt seem like a Woo Girl.
Barney showed up at the bar after hearing about the presence of Woo Girls and, when Lily
questioned the worlds need for Woo Girls, gave a classic Barney speech that deserves a full
transcription here:
The world absolutely needs Woo Girls. If there were no Woo Girls, there would be no Girls
Gone Wild, no bachelorette parties, no Las Vegas poolside bars. All of the things that you hold
dearest, Lily, would be gone.
Those are none of those things Lily tried to interject, but Barney continued. The souvenir
shot-glass industry would collapse; so would the body-glitter industry and, the stretch Hummer
rental industry. Tiny cowboy hats would be worn only by tiny cowboys. And when Brown- Eyed
Girl would come up on the jukebox, all you would hear ... would be silence .... and Brown-Eyed
Girl. But who would woo, Lily? Who would woo? Would you? Would you ... woo?
Ted dove into his architecture pitch for two weeks and gave what he thought was a good
presentation. But that night, Barney had bad news. The board decided to go with Sven. Just
then, Robin rolled by in a stretch Hummer with a champagne bottle in hand, woo-ing at the
top of her lungs.
Ted was bummed about not getting the job, but Barney assured him hed done everything he
could to change the boards mind. Ted was down because after his rough couple of months he
needed that job more than he thought. Marshall asked him if he wanted to go to the current GNB
building and pee on it. They left.
Lily and Robin had a Dr. Seuss-like exchange about Robins woo-ing. Robin explained that
shes usually the third wheel with Lily and Marshall and that she sometimes likes to woo with
other single girls.
Marshall told Bilson that he thought Ted would have been great for the building project and
Bilson said he agreed. Thats why I voted for him, Bilson said. Marshall realized that Barney
must have actually voted against Ted. He called for a conference call and they went to the roof,
where Barney revealed the truth. After Teds presentation, Sven, who designed a Tyrannosaurus
Rex and promised Barney his office would be in the T-Rexs brain, blew Barney away. His desk
would have a button that, when pressed, would make the building breathe fire out of the T-Rexs
mouth. Barney decided there was no way the building could be more awesome. Marshall got
upset, told Barney this would be their last conference call, and locked him on the roof.
Robin was hanging out with the Woo Girls when Lily showed up wearing a plastic red firemans
helmet, trying to prove she could woo with the best of them. Robin wasnt buying it. Barney
was left hanging out on the roof with Sven. The Woo Girls wooed after calling each other bitches
and sluts and whores, Lily made the moment awkward by trying to join in, saying, Youre all a
bunch of prostitutes. You probably have STDs!
Robin explained to Lily that she has everything the Woo Girls wanted. Look at them and listen
to what their woos are really saying, Robin told her. They looked at the girls, with subtitles
explaining their woos.
One girls woo said, I cry in the shower. Another said, Ive never been on a second date.
Jillian said, What if I never get to be a mom?! And the last girl said, Im secretly in love with
Jillian. Then, Ted suddenly appeared, woo-ing, with his woo saying, My career and love life
are going nowhere.
Robin said shes a little like the Woo Girls right now, but when she needs to talk about
something real, she turns to Lily. Lily promised to make more time for them.
Barney showed up and told Ted that Goliath National Bank fired Sven and Ted got the job.
The search committee realized they made the wrong decision, Barney said. He was about to
tell Ted the truth about why he didnt get the job in the first place, but Marshall jumped in and
blamed it on Bilson. Ted rejoiced, knowing hed just scored his firm the biggest account it ever
had. Woooo! Ted said (with the subtitle explaining his woo said Now only my love life is a
disaster.)
They talked about Barney riding the mechanical bull, but he said he wouldnt if they paid him
because he has an inner-ear thing. Old Ted explained that Marshall caved and told the truth
about Barney about 10 minutes later. That was when they tied Barney to the mechanical bull,
put it on a setting called paint mixer, and went home.

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It was a pretty great night, Old Ted said.


Finally, we see somebody get Barney off the mechanical bull. He tries to keep his balance, but
doesnt have much luck. Then we see Jillian and her friend thats secretly in love with her sitting
at the bar. Her friend suggests they have a threesome with some guy in the bar, and in lack of a
guy, if Jillian would like to...
Jillian interrupts her with the suggestion of asking Ted. The friend looks a little discouraged
by this, but goes along with Jillian.
Barney tries to get to the girls to tell them hed be interested, but since hes still dizzy from
the mechanical bull, falls over again.

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The Naked Man


Season 4
Episode Number: 73
Season Episode: 9

Originally aired: Monday November 24, 2008


Writer: Joe Kelly
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Lyndsy Fonseca (Daughter), Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), David Hen-
rie (Son)
Guest Stars: Adam Paul (Mitch), Courtney Ford (Vicky), Candace Moon (Cristina),
David Tran (Busboy), Kevin Michael Walsh (Burglar #1), Jim Woods
(Burglar #2)
Production Code: 4ALH08
Summary: The gang learns a new way to get their dates to sleep with them after
Ted walks in on Robins date sitting naked on the couch.

Future Ted kicked off the night by


telling his kids about how he met the per-
son who got him back in the game after
his breakup with Stella. We see him en-
counter a woman in the elevator, Vicki,
every day on the way to work. He took
it slow, at first, then slowly waded in,
telling the story of getting left at the altar
by Stella. He asked her to pretend all he
said was that the elevator rides had been
the highlight of his week and asked her
out to dinner. She said yes.
Ted talked about the odd things hed
walked into at the apartment over the years:
Nov. 26, 2004: Marshall and Barney holding a wild, Cirque du Soleil-inspired tandem hand-
stand while Lily painted them before saying, Sorry, guys, Im just going to go with a bowl of
fruit.
July 16, 2007: Barney locked up and submerged in a tank of water with Marshall shouting,
Its been 12 minutes! as Barney calmly removed the chains and gave Ted a thumbs up.
Dec. 15, 2006: Robin holding two armed burglars at gunpoint.
May 8, 2009: A live goat.
But this time, he walked in to find a guy named Mitch sitting naked on his couch. Ted said
Robin forgot to use the super-secret signal: an old Chinese take-out menu from Mr. Wangs
appropriately enough on the door. Ted met the rest of the gang at the bar and Lily explained
that Robin had just let the guy upstairs to use the bathroom. Ted ran back to the apartment
and naked Mitch explained he was in the middle of his move: The Naked Man. After a date, he
makes an excuse to go into the girls apartment, strips down and, surprising his date, manages
to score simply because of the boldness of the move.
Ted said that could never work.
Two out of three times, Mitch said. Guaranteed.
Mitch explained the move was kind of a Hail Mary because he wouldnt normally have a
shot with Robin. Ted told the gang about the move, and they thought Robin might shoot the guy.
They raced upstairs to find the take-out menu on the doorknob.

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Barney decided The Naked Man was a game-changer in one-night stands. Ted told Robin
he couldnt believe The Naked Man worked. Marshall called slut, because the only thing
standing between Robin and sex was clothes. She claimed she cared about Mitch, saying there
was a connection of specialness and feelings. Marshall claimed the only reason to have sex was
love, and the group laughed and mocked him.
Lily said she could name 50 reasons to have sex, including make-up sex, break-up sex and
your-friend-just-told-you-about-a-new-position sex. Youre welcome, Barney said. They group
continued to name various reasons to have sex, including Robins contribution, 43, He said he
loves you but youre not ready to say it back, and, 44, Teds wingman diving on a friend grenade
sex, and, 45, Barneys the condoms are about to expire.
Wow, this is getting a little hard, Lily said.
46, Barney replied.
Barney proclaimed Mitch The Naked Genius, saying, All these years, Ive been suiting up,
when I shouldve been suiting down. Barney said he would try it that night, and urged Ted to
try it with Vicki, the elevator girl.
Robin set off to defend her honor by going out with Mitch again, Lily set out to finish her list,
Ted wanted to prove he was ready to date again, and Barney wanted to try out The Naked Man.
Barney went into his dates bathroom and stripped, called Ted and told him he was doing The
Naked Man. I am, too, a naked Ted told him.
Ted said the date with Vicki wasnt going as well as hed hoped. She was abrasive and told
stories about old people falling down stairs. Once Ted realized it wasnt going anywhere, he
decided to go for it.
Robin found her date with Mitch awkward and he knew it was an Im not a slut date. He
told her shed seen his move and he had nothing left to offer her. Say what you will, The Naked
Man is honest.
Ted stood naked waiting for Vicki to come back in the room, and she said she could listen to
talk to Ted about architecture all night. She also had a Pablo Neruda book on her coffee table, a
poet Ted loves. Thinking there might actually be a future in the relationship, he quickly changed
his mind and dressed back up. But when he points out the book upon her return, she said
some douchey guy she went out with left the book. Changing his mind again, Ted stripped and
continued with the Naked Man plan. She went for it.
Lily tried The Naked Man on Marshall and it worked.
They rejoiced at the bar and shared their stories, telling Mitch about how The Naked Man
worked for them. They wondered how Barney fared. They called Barneys cell phone and his date
answered, saying she kicked him telling the story of how she kicked him out after he disrobed,
and she didnt let him take clothes or his phone. And if I see him again, she said. Im calling
the cops.
Two out of three times, Mitch said.
Mitch left as Ted toasted him as a hero, the one who helped get him back in the game after
Stella.
A naked Barney came across a rack of suits at a sidewalk sale, but, after checking them out,
he decided to go without clothes.

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The Fight
Season 4
Episode Number: 74
Season Episode: 10

Originally aired: Monday December 8, 2008


Writer: Theresa Mulligan Rosenthal
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Ned Rolsma (Marcus Eriksen), Robert Michael Ryan (Marvin Eriksen
Jr.), Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Charlene Amoia (Wendy)
Guest Stars: Alec Gray (Kid), Katie Morris (Amanda), Sarah Michell Campbell (Es-
merelda), Jess Rowland (Guy #1 in Booth), Ryan Freeman (Guy #2 in
Booth), Khary Payton (Guy #3 in Booth), Courtney Geigle (Guy #1),
Andy Hoff (Guy #2), Will Sasso (Doug Martin), Ethan Dizon (Ben),
Davis Cleveland (Andy)
Production Code: 4ALH10
Summary: Tedto prove hes not a milquetoastand Barneyto impress Robin
pick a fight with a group of guys sitting in the gangs favorite booth at
MacLarens.

Old Ted started the night by telling


a story about the one fight hed had in
his life. Ted was getting pity from the
waitress at the bar because he was the
guy who got left at the altar. Barney
had gotten distracted by a woman he saw
across the bar and began responding to
anything he was asked by using titles
of black sitcoms from the 70s and 80s.
Good times, Barney said.
Lily asked Barney if he wanted to go
upstairs and do things to her that she
wouldnt even let Marshall do. Diffrent
Strokes, Barney said.
Doug, a bartender at McClarens whos
always around, came around. He had a tendency to get violent and was especially sensitive
about his hair. He was also very loyal to his regulars and wanted to make sure the gang always
got to sit in their regular booth. He once kicked a priest and a nun out of the booth so Ted and
Co. could have a seat. Doug was upset this time because the friends were sitting at a different
booth when he went to kick three guys out of the regular booth. He came back, asked Robin and
Lily to take a seat a their favorite booth and asked the guys for their assistance outside. They
were going to fight the guys hed kicked out of their booth.
Whats happening, now? Barney asked.
The guys wondered whether they should go outside and fight. They debated the merits of
fighting. Robin talked about how she thought fighting was kind of totally hot. Marshall talked
about how hed been in fights with his brothers. Ted decided the fight was an experience he
needed to have. Robin looked impressed, which Barney noticed before getting up and declaring
he was going to join the fight.
Ted and Barney went outside to find that Doug had already beat up all three guys by himself.
But Doug thought theyd helped him in the fight and told them they were going to get free drinks

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for life. Barney decided to make the story believable by punching himself in the eye and punching
Ted in the nose. They walked back into the bar and Doug had already told everyone inside the
story. The crowd cheered as Doug called Barney and Ted the guys who had my back!
Robin was turned on by Barneys swollen eye. Doug brought drinks to the table and gave
everyone but Marshall a free drink. Marshall had to pay $7.50 because he didnt have Dougs
back. The gang made fun of Marshall for wussing out on the fight, and Lily later told Marshall he
was right not to fight. She asked him to talk to her Kindergarten class about choosing the path
of nonviolence.
The next day the kids called Marshall a wuss. Back at the bar, Ted and Barney were telling
some girls about their fight. They looked over and saw two guys sitting in their booth and they
went over to kick the guys out of the booth. The guys were actually there to serve Ted and Barney
with papers informing them they were being sued for assault.
Marshall messed with the guys and told them they could be looking at some serious prison
time, even though he knew they would probably only be facing a small civil settlement. They
finally admitted they werent actually involved in the fight. Marshall was satisfied. Robin came
over to ask Barney on a date, but Marshall told her they faked the whole thing and Robin was
suddenly uninterested in Barney.
Back at the bar, Marshall told the guys he got the other dudes to drop the lawsuit, but
that meant theyd thrown angry, irrational Doug under the bus. He found out and took Barney
and Ted outside, where Marshall, Lily and Robin all watched along. Doug was ready to beat up
Ted and Barney when Barney ran away screaming. Marshall explained to Doug that Ted wasnt
involved in the fight and Doug agreed the story made sense. Still, he was upset the guys didnt
have his back. He told Ted he couldnt be counted and added, No wonder your fiancee left you.
That did it. Ted, enraged, took a swing and punched Doug square in the face, hurting his
hand. Doug shook off the punch and gave Ted one in return, which knocked him to the asphalt.
Ted didnt remember much about the rest of the story, but when he came to, he saw Doug
knocked out on the ground with Marshall holding Dougs toupee. It turned out Marshalls fights
with his brothers were about more than playful roughhousing.
Ted went to Lilys school the next day to share his story, and the kids called him a wuss.

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Little Minnesota
Season 4
Episode Number: 75
Season Episode: 11

Originally aired: Monday December 15, 2008


Writer: Chuck Tatham
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Guest Stars: Erin Cahill (Heather), Tug Coker (Bud), Scott Michael Morgan (Glen),
Sean Graham (III) (Wayne), Jon Paul Burkhart (Herm), Eric Bruskotter
(George)
Production Code: 4ALH12
Summary: Marshall takes Robin to a bar with a Minnesota theme. Ted attempts
to keep his visiting sister away from Barney.

Ted was anxiously awaiting the ar-


rival of his sister, Heather or, Hurri-
cane Heather. She once sold his couch
and TV for Nine Inch Nails concert tickets
and a last-minute flight to somewhere in
Spain.
Ted got a call from Barney, who Ted
refused to let meet his sister because
every time the family Christmas card
showed up Barney sang his own version
of a holiday favorite.
2005 (to the tune of Jingle Bells):
Pulling down her pants, yanking off my
own, underneath the mistletoe Ill make your sister moan...
2006 (to the tune of We Wish You a Merry Christmas): I wish I could see her naked, I wish
I could see her naked, I wish I could see her naked and down on all fours.
2007 (to the tune of The Dradle Song): Ted has a little sister, gets hotter every day. And if I
ever I meet her, with her boobies I will play. Everybody! Sister, sister, sister...
Heather showed up at the bar and came back to the apartment with Ted, Robin, Lily and
Marshall. Thats where Barney was in a chair that swiveled (he brought it especially for the
occasion). Barney went up and introduced himself to Heather, kissing her hand as she smiled
and Ted looked panicked.
Lily admitted that she spilled the word to Barney about Heathers visit. She said she couldnt
be trusted with secrets and told Ted that Robin was getting him an iPod for Christmas. Ted told
Barney he didnt trust him or his sister. But he invited Barney to a dinner they were having later.
Marshall and Robin went to the Walleye Saloon, which was frequented by Minnesotans who
Robin thought were real men. At dinner, Heather asked Ted if he could co-sign on her apart-
ment. She said she was serious about a career in finance and Barney offered his connections at
Goliath National Bank.
Back at the bar, Robin spotted the Fishermans Quest video game, which she used to play
all the time as a kid. Marshall bragged that he had the high school, having caught a 35-pound
fresh-water fish.
Lily told Ted shes be willing to tag along when Heather visited Barney at GNB. Back at the
bar, Robin started to tell a story about growing up in Canada, but Marshall told her not to

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

mention she wasnt from Minnesota. A Dallas native was kicked out just before someone turned
and asked Robin where she was from. Her response: Bemidji, Minn.
A few days later, Lily was bursting with a secret she had to reveal to Ted. When Heather was
at GNB, Lily stepped away to say hi to Marshall and when she came back, Heather and Barney
were half-naked.
At the bar, Marshall came back inside to find Robin had the entire bar captivated with the
same story about the 1999 Minnesota Vikings NFC Championship Game loss. Marshall got upset
that she was trying to steal his bar. The bartender overheard Robin telling Marshall, Get oot!
He started making a joke about Canadians being afraid of the dark. Robin decided to make an
announcement about Canadians. Then she told another joke about Canadians being afraid of
the dark.
Barney, Lily and Ted sat at the bar with Heather and Barney made a bunch of puns about
Heathers prospects at GNB. You certainly made it clear youre willing to take any position,
Barney said. I hope you get the job. Nothing gives me more pleasure than filling an opening.
Each one made Ted madder. Then Heather said, I am willing to bend over backwards.
Ted finally exploded, saying he couldnt believe Barney and his sister had sex. Barney and
Heather then revealed they set the whole scene up just to teach him a lesson. They knew they
could count on Lily to blab about it.
Back at the Minnesotans bar, Robin set a new high score on Fishermans Quest and Mar-
shall exploded, shouting, Shes from Canada! She couldnt name the kicker who missed the
overtime field goal in the 1999 NFC Championship Game, and she was kicked out of the bar. On
her way out, she made a speech about being proud to be from Canada.
Back at the apartment, Ted gave his sister a leather briefcase shed wanted but couldnt
afford. Inside, it was a signed copy of her lease contract. He said he wanted to get to know her
as a responsible adult.
Marshall apologized to Robin for outing her as a Canadian, but she said she was sorry for
trying to make his bar her own. She said just she just felt homesick around the holidays. She
said she wished she could just blink her eyes and be back in Canada for an hour.
I was hoping you would say that, Marshall said.
He took her to a place called The Hoser Hut, where a guy was singing Crash Test Dummies
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm on the karaoke stage. Robin bumped into a guy, who apologized to
her and offered her a donut, on the house. Then, the lights went out and everyone panicked a
bit. Nobody likes dark, Robin said.
Later, Marshall signed up to sing a karaoke tune. It was Lets Go to the Mall, by Robin
Sparkles.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Benefits
Season 4
Episode Number: 76
Season Episode: 12

Originally aired: Monday January 12, 2009


Writer: Kourtney Kang
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Bryan Callen (Billson)
Guest Stars: Heidi Montag (Herself), Spencer Pratt (Himself), Kim Kardashian (Her-
self), Kendra Wilkinson (Herself), Ambrit Millhouse (Jill), Kevin Kirk-
patrick (Don), Jason Rogel (Clerk), Ethan Dizon (Ben), Jack J. Bennett
(Craig Gerard), Greg Collins (Matt Zinman)
Production Code: 4ALH11
Summary: Robin and Ted explore friends with benefits while living together.
Marshall has trouble with a few reality TV stars.

Ted and Robins roommate situation wasnt quite


working out. Ted wanted to get some cereal, but Robin
finished the milk and left the empty carton in the fridge
because the trash was full. She didnt take the trash out
because she was eating cereal.
They argued over their issues and realized they didnt
fight when they were dating because they were having
sex. They figured sex was the key to resolving any dis-
putes, a theory Barney once offered as a way of bringing
about world peace. Cut to Barney explaining his theory
to Ted, in which every international conflict could be re-
solved with sex:
The Middle East? Gaza Strippers, Barney said.
Apartheid? Apart thighs... next!
The Cold War? Mrs. Gorbechev, take down those
pants, Barney offered.
Ted suggested they just start having sex, then.
Yeah, right, Robin said. Cut to Robin and Ted laying in
bed together, fresh off of doing the deed. Just like rid-
ing a bike, huh, ol buddy? Robin said. Ted didnt want
to tell anyone about it. Deal? he asked. Deal, Robin
said. Deal, said Marshall, who was suddenly standing
in the doorway and slipped away.
Marshall was giving Ted and Robin a hard time about hooking up, saying the situation
wouldnt end well for anyone, when they asked Marshall why he was at the apartment in the
first place. Marshall said he had to stop by to read a magazine in their bathroom. Marshall said
he couldnt read a magazine at work because if you out of your office with a magazine in hand,
it tells everyone what youre about to do. Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag on the cover of Mar-
shalls magazine provided the announcement that Marshall about to read a big ol magazine
in the bathroom that you all share with him!
Marshall said that stretch of hallway between his office and the bathroom is like a gauntlet of
judging eyes. Robin said it wasnt OK for Marshall to read a magazine in their apartment, and

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

asked him to hand over his keys to the place. He refused, citing the deal that had been struck
about all of them keeping quiet about their indiscretion.
Cut to Lily at the bar, saying, You two hooked up? Robin reached out her hand and Marshall
gave up the key. Barney was clearly disturbed by the news. Lily said that when two exes try to
be casual, someone always ends up getting hurt. Old Marshalls voiceover said it turned out Lily
was right. But wed get to that later.
They told Barney the whole idea came out of his theory about world peace. Peace was
achieved, Robin said, repeatedly. She and Ted high-fived. LIly checked to make sure Bar-
ney was OK. He excused himself, went out to the alley behind the bar, picked up a TV out of the
dumpster and slammed it on the ground.
Robin said it was a private thing and they wouldnt be talking about this anyway if Mar-
shall could read a magazine at work. Lily recalled a story about Marshall checking in a motel
room during law school so he could read a magazine. Shed gotten upset by finding a motel
room charge on their credit card and asked, Who is she? Burrito, Marshall replied. Carnitas
Burrito.
Marshall said nobody likes to read a magazine at work and if they say that they do, then
theyre not human. Barney said he reads a magazine every day at work, its something Ive
gotta do, he explained. Then he stopped and asked, Reading a magazine means masturbating,
right?
Later at the bar, Ted told Barney more about the perfect arrangement, giving several examples
of their sex plan in action. Barney smashed another TV every time, until hed smashed every TV
in the alley. He went to an electronics store to buy a TV just so he could smash it.
Marshall struggled with the need to read a magazine at work again when he overheard that
the company laid off everyone on the eighth floor. He went straight there, came face to face with
a bathroom that would be all his own.
Ted was heading off to work and he and Robin congratulated each other on their previous
nights events. Ted gave her a kiss on his way out the door. After he walked out, Robin said, Uh
oh. Ted, then, stood in the hallway just outside their door and said, uh oh.
At the bar, Ted explained to Marshall and Barney that Robin let the pizza box on the floor,
so we had sex three times. Then he told them about the kiss. They agreed it was weird and
Marshall asked if he had feelings for her. Yes, Im in love with her, Barney said, before catching
himself and adding, is what you ... thats you, dude. Ted was worried he blew it.
Robin, meanwhile, was telling Lily it was weird. Barney suggested to Ted they stop sleeping
together. Robin was thinking the same thing. They then agreed to end it. Then Ted found an
empty milk carton in the fridge and the whole cycle started again: They had sex, vowed to tell no
one, Marshall was there, Lily got upset with them, Barney bought a TV and smashed it. So, that
didnt last long, Ted said.
Robin asked Marshall why he was back in the apartment reading a magazine. He gave the
story about the construction crew coming through and taking out walls on the floor hed had to
himself. They smashed through the bathroom wall while he was reading his magazine.
Ted got home to the apartment to find that Barney was cleaning everything to help them avoid
their fights. Barney had stocked the refrigerator with milk and even bought them a dishwasher.
Ted asked Barney if hes in love with Robin.
Barney denied it. Ted said his thing with Robin is totally casual and promised he wouldnt
freak out if Barney admitted he was in love with Robin. Barney didnt spill anything and left.
He showed up in Lilys Kindergarten class and told everything to her students, because it was
sharing time and he had the share bear. Lily asked him to leave.
Back at the office, Marshall told Barney hed overcome his issues with reading a magazine at
work and just did it, and his co-workers no longer judged him because he strode to the bathroom
with confidence. Kim Kardashian, on his magazine cover, praised him for his bravery. Barney was
inspired by Marshalls bold move, said he had to go and said, Oh, by the way, I have a bathroom
here (in his office), if you ever want to use it.
Barney showed up at the apartment to make his declaration and shouted, Ted, I love...
Thats when he saw Robin and finished his statement with, ... tacos! Robin told Barney that
Ted had left and that their arrangement was over. She said Ted couldnt do it anymore because
he was afraid someone might get hurt. Barney thought about it for a moment when Robin asked
him if he wanted to go get tacos. They left.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Three Days Of Snow


Season 4
Episode Number: 77
Season Episode: 13

Originally aired: Monday January 19, 2009


Writer: Matt Kuhn
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Marshall Manesh (Ranjit), Joe Nieves
(Carl)
Guest Stars: Amy Gumenick (Amanda), Eileen Boylan (Melissa), Pat Crawford
Brown (Thelma), Ute Werner (Viveka), Gita Isak (Rachel Sondheimer),
Yves Bright (Patrice), Jordan Masterson (Colin), Cal Gibson (Ryan)
Production Code: 4ALH13
Summary: A blizzard hits New York City, threatening a tradition of Marshall and
Lilys and leaving Ted and Barney to keep MacLarens doors open.

Old Teds voiceover explained Mar-


shall and Lilys airport pick-up ritual of
bringing a chauffeur sign to pick up the
other, whod bring a locally brewed six-
pack from wherever he or she had been.
Marshall said he wasnt going to pick Lily
up from her recent trip, though, because
she didnt want him to have to take a cab
to the airport just to take a cab all the
way back.
Barney rushed into the bar to tell
Ted about two college girls outside who
wanted to hook up. The girls were in a
band and Barney and Ted made plans to be unavailable to see them play, but to meet them for
a drink at McClarens the next night, even though snow was in the forecast. Ted wanted to get
their phone numbers in case anything went wrong, but Barney promised him nothing would go
wrong. Then it started to snow.
The blizzard of 09 was a monster, which led to three amazing stories, Old Ted said.
The bar was empty and Ted worried the girls wouldnt show up. Barney said if he slept with
one of the girls, hed have party school bingo. Ted tried to ignore, but Barney practically begged
him to ask, Whats party school bingo? Barney showed Ted a bingo card that he made up,
containing the top 25 party schools, as listed by Playboy, and Barney was trying to score five in
a row for Bingo. He was the only person playing.
Marshall was helping Robin fix her thermostat. Robin asked Marshall if he was going to
pick Lily up at the airport. He said no because as we mature, our relationship matures with us.
Robin said Lily would probably get him the six-pack anyway. Then Marshall pictured Lily arriving
at the airport with a six-pack and no one there to pick her up, so shed hook up with a dude
with an accent who appreciated the six-pack. He scrambled to get to the airport. Meanwhile,
Lily was telling an old lady on the plane that she wasnt bringing a six-pack because as we
mature, our relationship matures with us. The lady said Marshall sounded like a nice guy and
would probably pick her up at the airport anyway. Lily then pictured Marshall at the airport,
disappointed to see that she didnt have beer. Hed flip his chauffeur sign around so instead of

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

reading, Lilypad, it read, Someone with beer. Then a hot blond with a six-pack came up and
Marshall walked away with her. Lily panicked and said she had to get some beer.
Carl said he wanted to close the bar early, which upset Barney and Ted. They begged him,
and then asked if they could keep an eye on it. He said they didnt know the first thing about
running a bar. Serve the hotties first? Barney said. Heres the keys, Carl said, handing them
over and walking out.
Old Ted said to understand what it meant to be handed the keys to the bar, you had to
understand his and Barneys long-held dream of opening their own bar. They flashed through a
Cocktail-esque montage, complete with The Beach Boys Kokomo, where they juggled bottles
behind the bar before dropping a couple on the floor.
Lily got off the plane and found Ranjit, the driver. He knew Marshall and Lilys tradition and
whisked Lily away so she could get beer before Marshall showed up. The girls showed up at the
bar and Ted called dibs on the Star Wars fan while Barney called dibs on the one with dad
issues. They said they invited the rest of the band to join them. The bar was instantly full they
were in the Arizona Tech marching band. Ted and Barney had a telepathic conversation, with
Ted saying they should close the bar because they promised Carl they wouldnt trash the bar
and Barney playing Kokomo in his head. They served the band.
Robin drove Marshall to the airport, calling it silly. Marshall and Lily each told Robin and
Ranjit about how they were letting their traditions slip away. Marshall offended Robin by telling
her she was a robot with no admiration for such traditions because shed never been in a re-
lationship long enough to have them. She pulled over and refused to move until he apologized.
Marshall warned Robin about a snowplow coming up behind them and before she moved the car,
they were buried.
Meanwhile, Carl called Barney at the bar and said hed be back in five minutes. Barney rang
the bell for last call.
Lily made it to the beer place to buy her Seattle microbrew, but all they had was a keg. Buried
under snow, Marshall apologized to Robin. Robin opened the sunroof and they started to climb
out to get Lily.
Barney and Ted felt lame because theyd always said their bar would have no last call, so they
invited the whole marching band to the apartment for more drinks. Then they decided to start a
band.
The timing was a bit off, though. See, Marshall showed up at the airport on Tuesday, only to
discover that Lily left a message saying her flight was delayed in Seattle because of the storm.
The marching band party was on Wednesday, and one of the members told Ted that if he ever
needed anything, just ask.
On Thursday, as Lily sat at the airport, dejected, wondering where Marshall was, the marching
band began playing Auld Lang Syne and Marshal emerged with his chauffeur sign to welcome
Lily and allow them to re-create their New Years kiss. Does this mean I have to bring a marching
band to the airport every time? Marshall asked. Absolutely, Lily said, it does.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

The Possimpible
Season 4
Episode Number: 78
Season Episode: 14

Originally aired: Monday February 2, 2009


Writer: Jonathan Groff (II)
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Regan Burns (Producer), Seth Morris (Director), Angela Martinez
(Rochelle Harper), Tina Casciani (Marisela Diaz), Colleen Shannon
(Lottery Girl), Mark Tomesek (Dr. Goodman), Ara Anton (Herm), Wayne
Lopez (Referee)
Production Code: 4ALH14
Summary: Robin relies on a video resume prepared by Barney to land a job in
broadcasting before facing deportation back to Canada. Marshall suf-
fers from dancers hip.

Robin was going through fan mail


from when she worked at Metro News 1.
It had been four months and she was still
getting letters and only about 60 per-
cent were from prison inmates.
Im way past my dating prisoners
phase, Robin said. Its like, Hello! Im
not 19 anymore.
Meanwhile, Barney made a game out
of watching the model on TV read the
Lotto numbers, matching the numbers to
events in the models life.
Robin had been unemployed for
months and came to the bar from an audition for an anchor position where the other women
up for the job pressured her into thinking she needed a catchy sign-off phrase. They said her
typical, From all of us here at Metro News 1, have a good evening, wasnt good enough.
So she added, So good night, New York. And may the road ahead be lit with dreams, and
tomorrows, which are lit with dreams, also.
Ted said that was terrible, and bad, also, but Robin wasnt done.
Stand tall, New York, she added. Trustworthy. Recycling. Wear a condom.
Thats when she realized she probably wouldnt get that job. Ted gave her resume advice, and
his still included his stint as Dr. X, his mystery DJ persona that he said changed the very face
of college radio. But Marshall and Lily knew it was Ted, and his show sucked.
Mixed in with Robins fan mail was a letter from the U.S. Department of Immigration. The
letter was two months old and threatened to send her back to Canada if she didnt find a job
within the next seven days.
Marshall thought Robin might be able to stay in the country if she married a U.S. citizen
and Barney, behind Robin so she couldnt yet see him, got down on one knee. Then Marshall
realized they couldnt process that in time to save her. Barney stood up.
They decided to examine Robins reel to see what wasnt working. She included a piece from
her first job in Red Deer, Alberta, Canada, that was pretty terrible. She said she wanted it to

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

show where she came from. Marshall picked up on that and said he still included that he was
the county slam dunk champion in Minnesota in 1995. He said he could still dunk until the
injury. Flash to Lily and Marshall in a doctors office, with Marshall getting the news that he has
Dancers Hip. Lily and the doctor both laughed. The group then gave him a hard time.
Barney then showed off his video resume. Yes, its real. See it here: www.barneysvideoresume.com/
He talked about how hes dared to venture to the place where the possible and the impossible
meet to become the possimpible. If I can leave you with one thought, he said in the video, its
this: Nothing, and everything, is possimpible. He said it got him 11 job offers.
Robin wanted him to make her one. Barney wanted to get started quickly, saying, Theres a
lot to shoot and I dont think I can use the footage I already have of you. Robin wanted to know
what he had, but he changed the subject and they left.
At dinner that night, Marshall confessed to Lily, I dance more than you know.
I dont know how to respond to that, she said.
Barney and Robin worked on her video. He wanted her to use made-up words.
Marshalls dancing confession continued. He said he danced a medium amount and Lily
wondered why she was just learning about this now.
Barney got Robin into a karate outfit and told her to break a stack of 15 bricks with her
forehead. That was where she drew the line, and said she knew what she had to do. Cut to Robin
showing up for the Lottery Girl auditions.
The guys at the Lottery Girl audition thought Robins delivery of the word Seventeen came
off as mean and not wry enough.
Ted continued giving Marshall a hard time about his Dancers Hip. Marshall said his condition
was serious and that he might need surgery. Vaginal rejuvenation surgery? Ted asked.
You know who didnt do a lot of operating on vaginas in college? Dr. X! Marshall said.
He did just fine! Ted shouted.
Lily said they should both get rid of the weak crap on their resumes. They revealed her hot-
dog-eating championship title, which she has on her resume. Flash to Lily winning the champi-
onship by eating 29 hot dogs in 8 minutes standing up in victory and showing her distended
belly (genius job working in Alyson Hanigans real-life baby bump).
Robin came back and said she didnt get the lottery girl job. Barney came in and said he
finished Robins video on his own and landed her a job hosting a morning talk show on Channel
12.
He said he was able to do it because hes the master of the possimpible.
Marshall wanted to dance, but told Lily hed do it later. Ted went and deleted the college radio
program director entry from his resume, while Marshall deleted his slam-dunk title. Lily, though,
decided to try to top her own record, and did, eating 33 hot dogs in 8 minutes at the bar, and
updating her resume accordingly.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

The Stinsons
Season 4
Episode Number: 79
Season Episode: 15

Originally aired: Monday March 2, 2009


Writer: Carter Bays, Craig Thomas
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Frances Conroy (Loretta Stinson)
Guest Stars: Brooke DOrsay (Margaret), Zachary Gordon (Grant), Kimberly Pfiffer
(Stage Mom), Angelo Diona (Ricky)
Production Code: 4ALH15
Summary: Suspecting he has a secret girlfriend, the gang follows Barney when
he leaves MacLarens and discovers he seemingly has been keeping a
family secret from them.

At the bar, Lily was surprised that


Barney seemed uninterested in some
blonds at the bar. He feigned being in-
sulted by Lilys suggestion that he had
a type. Then he turned to Ted and said,
Asian, with some boob.
Ted mentioned that hed seen Bar-
ney buying flowers something he always
said men should never do because giv-
ing women a living thing reminds them of
babies. Marshall then remembered over-
hearing Barney on the phone at work
planning a weekend including brunch,
farmers market and maybe a hike, fol-
lowed with, I love you, too.
Marshall figured he was just talking to some girl he was trying to nail, or Ted.
They wondered if Barney had a girlfriend. When he left, trying to be evasive about where he
was headed, the gang followed him out to the suburbs. There, they caught him meeting up with
his mom (played by Frances Conroy) ... and his wife, Betty, and son.
Barney was a regular old family man, but explained it was a long story. Wanting to fulfill his
mothers dream that her sons never find themselves alone the way she was, he hired an actress
to play his wife while his mother was gravely ill. The actress, whose real name was Margaret,
then told Barneys mother she was pregnant, so Barney had to hire a kid to play his son, Tyler.
The kids real name was Grant and he turned out not to be the greatest actor.
Call me crazy, Barney said, but child actors were way better back in the 80s.
Marshall and Lily poked fun at Barney for having a large Karate Kid poster above his bed.
Barney said he loved the story of a hopeful, young karate enthusiast whose dreams and moxie
take him all the way to the All-Valley Karate Championship. Of course, he loses in the final round
to that nerd kid. But he learns an important lesson about accepting defeat.
Ted realized that he recognized Barneys wife from an obscure German play he saw her
perform in. Ted talked about how he used to put on Christmas plays. He said it was sort of a
dream that died for him. She offered to give him some tips. Then Grant, the kid actor, told Robin
he hated acting. She then revealed that she was frustrated with her job prospects.

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Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Marshall and Lily heard from Barneys mom that she wasnt al-
ways such a great mother. I was kind of a whore, she said, before launching into an idealized
memory of hooking up with a random guy in a gas station restroom before driving off in different
directions. Sometimes I wonder how Barney turned out to be so perfect, she said.
Marshall told Barney to tell his mom the truth. Marshall said Barneys mom was as kind-
hearted as his own, and Lily talked about how Marshalls mother hates her. Lily then eventually
admitted to Marshall that she hates his mom, too. Well, I hate you! Marshall screamed, before
running out of the room.
Barneys mom announced theyd be having meat loaf for dinner and Barneys fake son Tyler
said, Tyler no likey! Barney reminded the kid he wasnt getting a catch phrase. Later, at he
dinner table, Tyler forgot his lines during a story Barney was trying to tell.
After dinner was served, everyone went into the kitchen where they walked in on Ted and
Betty (Margaret) kissing.
Tyler no likey! the kid said.
Barneys mom was shocked. Barney pretended to feel betrayed by Ted and was then pleas-
antly surprised when Tyler, in a rare display of theatrical skill, burst into tears, said he didnt
want his parents to get divorced, and ran out of the room.
Then, Ted remembered some of the acting tips that Margaret had shared with him. Tip #1:
Dont be afraid to improvise: Ted went on to suggest that Barney had, in fact, betrayed him!
Tip #4: Give your character a rich back story: Ted launched into a complex story about being
on a midnight train to Monte Carlo, hustling some Algerians out of thousands of Dinar, when
Barney kissed Teds fiancee, who was blind, and thought she was kissing Ted.
Tip #8: Dont be afraid to get physical: Ted slapped Barney twice!
Margaret was impressed with Teds performance and kissed him again. Lily suggested Barney
just tell his mother, but Marshall said that sometimes telling the truth makes people say terrible
things. He was referring to Lilys admission that she hates Marshalls mother, the woman who
always took special care of me because I was the runt of the family. For crying out loud, Im only
six-four! he said.
Grant (the kid actor) and Robin sat outside, with Grant encouraging Robin to keep at her
career and itll come around. Then he went in for a kiss because he thought he was picking up
on something. Robin panicked.
Inside, Barney was bracing to tell his mother the truth.
Tyler is dying, he said. And Betty said that when he goes, shes going to off herself, so thats
all probably going to go down very soon.
He quickly admitted that wasnt the truth, then admitted they were actors that he hired to
pretend to be his family. He said he only did it because he wanted her to be proud of him. His
mom was thankful, because she didnt like Betty anyway. She didnt like Tyler, either.
I hate that kid. Tyler no likey, she quoted mockingly. What the hell is that?!
She then said she didnt like his fake friends, either. He went along with that part.
Barneys mom said she loved him no matter what. He was relieved and told her that he was
as far from married as one could get. She said that didnt matter after all, when Barney was a
toddler, she had spent three weeks with the Grand Funk Railroad, getting passed around like a
bong but that if Barney ever did find someone special, he shouldnt run from it. Thats when
Robin walked in and said the cab was outside to take them back to the city. Barney, with a
wistful look, promised his mom that he would try.
In the cab on the way home, Barney shared a private smile with Robin as Lily was on the
phone with Marshalls mom, apologizing for acting cold and talking about wanting to repair
their relationship or at least thats what Marshall thought. She was really talking to Ted and
Margaret, who were cuing her through the conversation for Marshalls benefit.
Back at MacLarens, the gang still couldnt believe that Barney really didnt root for Daniel-san
in The Karate Kid.
Ted asked Barney who he rooted for in Die Hard and Barney said, Hans Gruber charming
international bandit. At the end, he died hard. Hes the title character!
In The Breakfast Club? The teacher running detention, Barney said. Hes the only guy in
the whole movie wearing a suit.
Robin thought she had one: Terminator. Whats the name of the movie, Robin? Barney
asked. Who among us didnt shed a tear when his little red eye went out in the end, and he

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didnt get to kill those people? Barney said, tearing up a bit at the thought. They didnt even try
to help him!

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Sorry, Bro
Season 4
Episode Number: 80
Season Episode: 16

Originally aired: Monday March 9, 2009


Writer: Craig Gerard, Matthew Zinman
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Charlene Amoia (Wendy), Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Bryan Callen
(Bilson), Laura Prepon (Karen), David Burtka (Scooter), Taran Killam
(Blauman)
Guest Stars: Rowly Dennis (Trevor), Hayes MacArthur (Curt), Koby Rouviere (8-
Year-Old Marshall), Laura Ann Kesling (8-Year-Old Nicole), Houston
Rhines (Jerry), Patrick Moote (Darren)
Production Code: 4ALH16
Summary: Teds college girlfriend reenters his life and leaves Marshall and Lily
remembering how much they hated her, while Barney tries to steer
the storytelling towards Marshalls forgetting his pants at work that
day.

Robin got a new job hosting a morn-


ing show, Come On, Get Up, New York!
It required her to get up for work at 1:45
a.m. Thats when she met up with the
gang at the bar, saying, Good mornin,
everybody!
She asked what had been going on,
but Marshall didnt want to talk about
it. It was something funnier than a chim-
panzee wearing two tuxedos.
They told Robin nothing was really
new, but Ted mentioned that Karen, his
old girlfriend (played by Laura Prepon)
moved into town. Lily and Marshall didnt like her from their days back in college because she
always said douchey things. She thought salt was bourgeois, she didnt know what a TV was,
and was being ironic when she said she wanted to go to Wrestlemania.
Barney was very excited to relay the story of what happened to Marshall. While changing at
the gyms locker room, he realized hed forgotten his pants. Flash to a scene of Marshall racing
through the hallway and ducking quickly into his office with a shirt and tie on under his suit
jacket, and in his boxers. Barney found this hilarious.
Robin said thats pretty funny, but its no chimpanzee wearing two tuxedos.
Ted was considering giving Karen a call, which Marshall said would be the fourth-worst thing
ever. Lily said every time Ted and Karen would get together, it would end badly. Shed cheat on
him, and Ted would catch her in the act and every time, the dude she was with would sneer
and say, Sorry, bro. Then Ted would get back together with her. Then the whole cycle would
happen again.
Ted admitted he already asked Karen to have lunch. Barney backed up Ted, giving the four
possible motives behind the ex-lunch:
1. They want to get back together. This reminded Lily of her ex Scooter, who came to town
wanting to get back together.

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2. They want to kill you. Like the time Barneys ex Wendy took him out to lunch and was
pulling something out of her purse, which Barney thought was a gun. He ran away, and it
turned out she wanted to give him a tie that he left with her.
3. They actually do want to give you your stuff back. Robin remembered Kirk, who took her
to lunch and pulled out a gun and handed it to her because shed left it at his place. Ive
been wondering where that was, she said. Every time I watch the news I think, Oh, I hope that
wasnt my gun!
4. To rub your face in how great theyre doing. Marshall remember Nicole, from elementary
school, who told him about her new boyfriend, Lee Roberts, he reads at a fifth-grade level.
Then Ted admitted hed already had his lunch with Karen. He said they talked about how
pretentious they were, then Karen complained about the wine list and Ted ordered off the menu,
asking for a bruscetta with fresh mozzarella, complete with Italian pronunciation.
Ted said he and Karen kissed in the restaurant. Then he admitted they went back to his place.
This angered Lily, but Ted said Lily was just upset because Karen lingered. Lily recalled the
incident back in college, when Lily was painting Marshall, who was posing nude. Karen walked
in and as she excused herself, she lingered with her gaze fixed on Marshalls nether regions.
Ted told everyone to relax because it was just the one night, and the next three after that, and
one morning. Ted told Robin she was unaware of it because of the pills shes taking to keep on
her new sleeping schedule.
Barney told Ted that Ohio, Karen and college were all B.S. Before Stinson. Marshall said
the story was already written, with Ted playing Charlie Brown and Karen as Lucy, who pulls the
football away and has sex with it.
Ted said that was exactly what didnt happen. What happened was that one day, he and
Karen were hooking up at her place when her boyfriend walked in and caught them together. Ted
sneered for a second and said, Sorry, Bro.
Marshall got upset with Ted for being complicit in breaking some poor guys heart. Ted said
Marshall was just trying to keep the focus on him because he didnt want to tell the pants story.
The rest of the pants story was that Lily brought the pants to the office, but she was in a
hurry and had to pass them off to Barney so he could get them to Marshall. He did, but not
before making some alterations. He cut them into shorts and the guys in his big meeting all
made fun of him with AC/DC and Oliver Twist jokes. Barney fell out of his seat laughing at this.
Ted then said that he actually told Karen she was a hurtful person and that he never wanted
to see her again. She admitted she was bad at facing someone and saying how she felt. Ted said,
Au revoir, and Karen corrected him, saying that au revoir actually means, until we meet
again. She asked if that meant they would meet again and Ted said, Sorry, bro.
The gang congratulated Ted for standing up to Karen and teaching her a lesson.
Lily said it was good that Ted had that talk with Karen, and Ted said it was because later that
day Karen called her boyfriend and broke up with him. Lily asked how he knew that if he was
never going to see Karen again. Then, he admitted that after she broke up with that guy, she
called Ted and they hooked up and theyd been seeing each other ever since. Here she comes
now, he said. Be cool!
In walked Karen, and the group, in unison, said, Hey!

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The Front Porch


Season 4
Episode Number: 81
Season Episode: 17

Originally aired: Monday March 16, 2009


Writer: Chris Harris (II)
Director: Rob Greenberg
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Laura Prepon (Karen)
Guest Stars: Nikki Wells (Hot Woman #2), Italia Ricci (Hot Woman #2), Jessica An-
derson (Hot Woman #3)
Production Code: 4ALH17
Summary: Ted is shocked to learn that Lily is responsible for many of his
breakups with ex-girlfriends including Karen. Meanwhile, Marshall
defends his wearing of a nightgown to bed.

Ted was still with his high school girl-


friend Karen, who his friends didnt like.
Karen gave Robin a hard time about her
diamond earrings, saying the exploited
workers who mined them would proba-
bly give her a high-five if they still had all
their fingers.
Robin also realized her friends had
never seen her new early morning TV
show. Marshall decided that on Friday
morning, theyd all watch the show at
their house.
We just want to support you, Lily
told her.
I just want to go to sleep, Lily then said when the morning came.
Ted walked in and said he and Karen had broken up. The gang rejoiced. Ted recalled the story
of Karen finding one of Robins earrings in his bed. Karen left. While Ted told the story, Barney
slipped into his PJs, a sleeping suit. Barney explained that he always needed to be prepared in
case some hot girls knocked on his door.
Marshall called it the most ridiculous sleeping attire hed ever seen, then revealed his sleeping
shirt. In Marshall and Lilys bedroom, Ted found the match to Robins earring. Ted thought
Marshall planted the earring in Teds bed to purposely break him and Karen up. Marshall denied
it, but Lily admitted she did it.
Ted asked Lily what right she thought she had to mess with his relationship meanwhile,
in the background, Robin showed a picture of her group of friends because she knew theyd be
watching. She waved at the camera while Ted yelled at Lily.
Lily said Karen failed the front-porch test. She said she pictured them all together, retired,
playing Bridge on the front porch. Flash-forward to Ted, Marshall and Lily playing Bridge. Then
Lily pictured Karen on that front porch and it didnt work.
In the background, Robin was extinguishing a chef whod caught on fire during her show.
While Marshall explained how he felt so free in his sleeping shirt, which he wore because his
Grandpa Olaf did and lived to 107, the weatherman on Robins show had a heart attack. We saw
Marshall flying through the New York night sky.

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Ted forgave Lily for breaking him and Karen up, and Lily apologized for doing such a thing -
again. She then recounted a couple of times she sabotaged his relationships. In the background,
Robin was helping a woman deliver a baby on her show.
Lily told Ted he was doing him a favor because he was too quick to commit. He asked if she
broke up him and Robin. You dont want the truth, Lily said, conjuring Jack Nicholson in A
Few Good Men.
In the background, Robin successfully delivered the womans baby. Barney, then, walked out
in a sleeping shirt and told Marshall that he Grandpa Olaf was on to something.
Ted was still upset at Lily when Robin walked in and said she was so glad that episode was
the one they all watched. They didnt understand why her suit was charred.
Ted told Robin that Lily broke them up. Lily said the front-porch test revealed that Ted and
Robin wanted different things. Lily then recounted how she pretty much fed Ted and Robin all
the questions they were asking each other before they broke up.
Ted said hed never been so furious with Lily. He told Lily that she and Marshall could have
their front porch to themselves. He walked out.
Marshall and Barney laid in bed while Marshall told Barney about all the virtues of being
married, like waking up and sometimes having breakfast all ready even coffee.
Then Barney slipped off to sleep and he and Barney floated through the evening sky together.
Lily tried to make it up to Ted by explaining to Karen that shed sabotaged their relationship.
Karen said it was too bad they wouldnt be able to hang out with Lily anymore. Then Ted pictured
himself and Karen on the front porch, talking about his old friend Marshall and the shrill girl
he used to be with. Marshall had died.
In the next scene, we saw that Karen broke up with Karen, which left he and Robin in the
apartment alone with the dinner that Lily had prepared for them. Ted figured they ended up
doing what Lily intended all along they talked about their relationship. They realized they
werent ready to be together and didnt want the same things.
They agreed to be each others backups if they werent married by 40, theyd marry each
other.
In the end, Barney was sleeping in his night shirt when a hot girl rang his doorbell. He
answered in the night shirt and the hot girl who rang it looked at him and said, Never mind.

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Old King Clancy


Season 4
Episode Number: 82
Season Episode: 18

Originally aired: Monday March 23, 2009


Writer: Jamie Rhonheimer
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky),
Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen),
Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Bryan Callen (Bilson)
Guest Stars: Stephen Kearin (Arthur), Aynsley Bubbico (Maya), Aaron Hill (The
Frozen Snowshoe), William Walton (II) (Roy), Darlena Tejeiro (Louisa)
Production Code: 4ALH19
Summary: Marshall and Barney lie to keep Ted from finding out the headquarters
hed been hired to design for GNB has been cancelled. The gang try to
decipher the story of a celebrity encounter Robin once had.

Ted was busy working on his big new


plans for the Goliath National Bank, until
he met a woman in an elevator who told
him the plans for the new GNB headquar-
ters had been scrapped a week earlier.
The gang sat at the bar talking about
which celebrities theyd like to hook up
with when Robin revealed that shed once
hooked up with a celeb and theyre into
strange sexual stuff. They pressed her on
it and she finally revealed three bits of in-
formation: The celeb was Canadian-born,
had some kind of collection and wanted
to do a mystery Canadian sex act.
She said shed tell them if they
guessed all three bits of mystery informa-
tion correctly. Lily, whod started a fit of
hiccups in her excitement over Robins story, worried the mission was impossible and said she
didnt even know any Canadian sex acts. To which Barney said, Well, youve got your Sloppy
Dog Sled, your Alberta Fur Trapper, the Full Mountie.
He found them on canadiansexacts.org, a not-for-profit site. They really just want to get the
information out there, Barney explained.
Ted walked in and told the group about the GNB headquarters plans being scrapped and
Barney and Marshall looked at each other knowingly. Billson had told them a few weeks earlier
that the plans were being scrapped because of the recession. Were cutting everything non-
essential, Billson said. Were going to have a lot of tough decisions to make when it comes to
the bi-quarterly retreat in St. Croix.
Billson told the guys Ted was going feel better when he heard the news from his best friend.
Marshall and Barney then argued over which of them was his best friend. Then they decided not
to tell Ted at all because he was getting paid for two months of work anyway.
They finally admitted to Ted the truth.
I cant believe it, Ted said. I just got screwed by my two best friends and I didnt even know
it!

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Lily paused for one second, looked up from Barneys laptop and said, In Canada, thats called
a Sneaky Snowplow.
While Ted drowned his sorrows in alcohol, the gang went back to Canadian sex acts.
Lily made her first guess at the trifecta. Bryan Adams. He collects baseball cards, and he
wanted to do a Greasy Kayak? Robin said no.
Barney guessed, Wayne Gretzky, vintage Hot Wheels, a Squatting Eskimo? No.
Marshall guessed, Kiefer Sutherland, souvenir shot glasses, and a Sticky Flapjack?
No, Robin said. That, I wouldve done.
Ted came back to the table and wondered why hed been pitching his ideas to a new head-
quarters task force if the project had been scrapped. Barney and Marshall explained they made
it up. The team was made up of a janitor, a lunch lady and a street peformer in a one-man band.
They paid everyone in the group $50 each to pretend to be excited about his ideas. Ted said it
was some of the most inspired design work hed ever done.
Lily suddenly asked, Alex Trebek, a musty goaltender, Beanie Babies? Robin said no. Lily
hiccuped.
The guys told Ted they were just trying to protect him with their lying, just like Barney and
Ted once did for Marshall when he tried stand-up comedy at a bars open-mike night. He read a
list of fish names and they told him he was hilarious.
Ted was upset and said he might get fired from his firm. Best-case scenario, my boss is going
to ream me out in front of everybody.
Back home we call that a... Robin started, before Lily jumped in to help her finish, Saska-
toon Totem Pole.
The guys offered Ted a chance to design a room on the 20th floor where they would fire people.
Ted showed Billson his design and Billson said he loved it. He asked Ted if hed be willing to also
redo the space on the 18th floor where they fire people. They went to the room to look at it and
Billson fired Ted.
Back at the bar, Lily asked, Anyone from the band Rush, a Montreal Meat Pie and super hero
lunch boxes? Robin said no.
Rick Moranis, The Reverse Rick Moranis, antique Judaica? Robin said no.
After Lily hiccuped some more, Robin agreed to give up the information. She slipped Lily a
piece of paper, which she excitedly read: The Frozen Snow Shoe. Old King Clancy. Harveys
trays.
I dont know what any of those words means, Lily said.
Robin explained that the Old King Clancy was the sex act, Harveys trays were the collectible,
and The Frozen Snow Shoe was the celebrity one of Canadas best-known wrestlers.
Canada, you did it again, Barney said. You even found a way to ruin this. Why? Why do we
even let you be a country?
Ted came in claiming he quit the GNB job, but admitted he was fired. He said he decided to
start his own firm.

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Murtaugh
Season 4
Episode Number: 83
Season Episode: 19

Originally aired: Monday March 30, 2009


Writer: Joe Kelly
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Cobie
Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick
Harris (Barney Stinson)
Recurring Role: Bill Fagerbakke (Marvin Eriksen Sr.), Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Justin Lawrence (Ryan), Robert Wisdom (McCraken), Andrew Astor
(Addison), Charlie Stewart (Kenny), Kaela Elmido (Girl), Brian Patrick
Collins (Teen Wolf)
Production Code: 4ALH18
Summary: Barney attempts to complete in a single day all the tasks from a list
Ted made to prove the gangs not too old to do them. Meanwhile, he
challenges Ted to complete a list of things theyre too young to do yet.

Barney got in trouble at the laser tag


place for abusing kids and he got his
badge gun taken away. Banned for life
from laser tag!
Barney decided that he and Ted would
sneak into the laser tag place after hours
and T.P. the place. Ted said they were too
old to T.P. places, and to play laser tag.
Ted decided to put both activities on the
Murtaugh List.
Old Ted explained the Murtaugh List
started with Marshalls beer bong, which
would make an appearance at every party
they held. But when they reached their 30s and the hangovers became intense, Ted realized the
only person he could relate to was Lt. Murtaugh of Lethal Weapon, who was known for his
catch phrase, Im too old for this (stuff). Robin would later explain that Lethal Weapon was a
rip-off of Canadian classic, McElroy & LaFleur.
Among the things on Teds Murtaugh list: Pull an all-nighter; eat an entire pizza in one sitting;
and hang posters on your wall without frames.
Marshall took off to coach the Kindergarten basketball team at Lilys school. Lily had set
Marshall up with the gig as a chance to give him some experience with kids. But when he
coached the team, he turned into a tyrant who denied them orange slices because none of them
had made a shot yet.
Barney said Ted wasnt too old to do anything on the Murtaugh List, and said if you did every-
thing on the list, it would make a pretty fun weekend. Ted told Barney that if he did everything on
the list he would die, and Barney accepted the challenge (although it wasnt really a challenge).
Still, they agreed that if Barney did everything on the list in 24 hours, Ted would help him T.P.
the laser tag place. If not, Barney would listen to Ted talk about architecture for three hours.
Barney raced into the bathroom and came out with a bloody ear. Getting his ear pierced was
the first thing on the list.
Back at basketball practice, Marshall was still yelling at the kids to keep running. He threw a
basketball at one of them, then yelled, Thats not running, thats falling!

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Barney crashed on a futon that he brought to Teds apartment to fulfill a list item: crash on
a friends futon instead of staying at a hotel. The next morning, Barney woke up with a terrible
back ache. At the bar, he hunched over at a table to do a shot with strangers. With his back
ache, Barney couldnt toss his head backward to take the shot.
Ted told Robin he was looking forward to getting old because there were far fewer things to
worry about.
Lily threw Marshall for a loop when she told him the school doesnt keep score during the
basketball games.
At the bar, Robin and Barney gave Ted a new list things hes too young to do to see if it
made him rethink his desire to grow old quickly. They made a new bet that if Barney could finish
his list before Ted finished the new one, Ted would not only help T.P. the laser tag place, hed
buy the toilet paper. If Ted won, Barney would have to listen to six hours of architecture history
and never be allowed to do anything on the Murtaugh List again.
Marshall explained to Lily that he was teaching the kids basketball the same way he was
taught. She asked what kind of sociopath taught him and he flashed back to his dad telling him
he couldnt go to bed until he made a basket.
Ted started working on his list, putting on reading glasses and getting ready to yell at neigh-
borhood kids. Barney showed up, injured from helping some people move stuff up a six-floor
walk-up in exchange for pitchers of beer. For the next part of the list, Barney prepared to dye his
hair a funny color and go to a rave. Then, it was 4 p.m. and Ted had to get ready for supper.
At school, Lily told Marshall he had to be on his best behavior when the kids played their
basketball game the next day. If he didnt, shed give him the silent treatment like never before.
Youll think that time I found your Internet searches was a freakin picnic! she shouted. Are
we clear?
A hobbled and pink-haired Barney asked Robin to call Ted because he wanted to go home
from the rave.
OK, Im calling him, she said, but its 4:30 in the morning, hes not going to be awake.
Cut to Ted at home, with his reading glasses on, saying to himself, Up at 4, check!
Robin dialed and when Teds phone rang, he got a chance to check take forever to answer
the phone off his list.
At the basketball game, Marshall apologized to the kids for being too hard on them. Marshall
gritted his teeth through the ordeal when the kids were blown out by the other team, trying to
encourage them the whole time to just have fun. As Marshall told the story, the kids on the other
team were as big as high-schoolers and had their way with the Kindergartners.
Barney made it back to the apartment with Robin carrying him and she wanted him to call
off the bet. The only thing he had left to do was the beer bong. Ted said he found some weird
Russian beer in the basement and it was pretty warm. Barney first took him up on the challenge,
but backed out at the last second.
Barney said he hated all of it. My back is killing me, Barney said. Everyone at the rave
thought I was a narc. My ear hurts so bad, I can hear it. I can hear my own ear; think about
that.
Barney said hed never do anything on the Murtaugh List again. Ted then told Barney that
since he couldnt sleep the night before, he watched Lethal Weapon, then Lethal Weapon 2,
3 and 4. Thats when he realized that every time Murtaugh said he was too old for that stuff,
he came back for another movie and did more stuff. Screw being old, lets go T.P. the laser tag
place! Ted said.
At the basketball game, Marshall finally boiled over and started coaching the kids his way.
And in the second half, they got beat even worse than before. And, as Marshall told the story,
one of them became a Teen Wolf, who was dunking all over the place.
At the laser tag place, McCraken, the manager, walked in and praised what he called the
finest T.P.ing work Ive ever seen. He said Barney was reinstated. Really? Barney asked.
McCraken stepped toward him and said, Hell no! Im calling the police!

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Mosbius Designs
Season 4
Episode Number: 84
Season Episode: 20

Originally aired: Monday April 13, 2009


Writer: Kourtney Kang
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Alyson
Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smul-
ders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Edward Flores (Food Guy), Joel Spence (Toy Guy), Ryan Sypek (PJ),
Adrian Rice (Fantasy Guy), Stephen Holland (Creepy Back Rub Guy),
Darren OHare (Guy #1), Bo Barrett (Guy #2)
Production Code: 4ALH20
Summary: Ted goes out on his own as an architect and hires an intern to help get
things started, but all he helps himself to is Robin. Meanwhile, news of
impending layoffs at GNB has Marshall looking for a schtick to make
him indispensible.

Barney was itching to tell Lily a joke


that Ted and Marshall knew would of-
fend her. Barney hemmed and hawed
for a moment, then finally asked her,
Whats the difference between peanut
butter and jam? Lily played along, and
asked, What?
Old Ted didnt tell us the punch line,
but it upset Lily so much that she walked
out of the bar. And we didnt see Lily
again for four weeks, Old Ted explained.
(Maternity leave joke?)
Ted was running his new private firm,
Mosbius Designs, from home and Robin was trying to help keep him on task while she watched
Wheel of Fortune.
At GNB, Marshall was worried about layoffs, but Barney wasnt. Barney was convinced that
with the things he knew about the company, hed never be fired. He might one day wash up on
shore with no fingerprints, but hed never be fired. Barney told Marshall he needed a thing, like
food guy or toy guy or YouTube guy, the guys at work whod become known by what special
thing they bring to the office.
Back at the apartment, Ted had brought in an assistant/receptionist named P.J. who was at
his beck and call and catered to every artistic whim Ted had.
Marshall tried out some guy personas on Barney. First, eco-guy, because everyone likes a
guy who recycles. Fired, Barney said.
Wacky tie guy?
Daily Fun Fact guy?
I know a good stretch for that guy?
All of them would get him fired, Barney concluded. Then Marshall remembered he ran a
fantasy baseball league in college. He could be sports guy.
At the apartment, Ted got a call from P.J., who was running late. P.J. said he was on the roof
of the Empire State Building, but Ted saw the caller ID and noticed the call came from inside the
house. Then, he found P.J. and Robin hooking up in her bedroom.

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Robin explained to Ted that while he was on his wisdom walks, she got time along with P.J.
She found it hot that P.J. made her ask for a key to use the bathroom in the apartment.
Ted told Robin that if she distracted P.J. it could ruin Teds productivity. She told him there
was no such thing and he was totally procrastinating.
Back at work, Marshall realized that running the fantasy baseball league left him handling a
lot of cash to the tune of $18,000. Marshall was so freaked out while walking home with the
money on him that he ran screaming from a baby because he thought it could sense money.
Ted told Marshall and Barney that Robin hooked up with his assistant, and Barney got upset
and yelled at Ted. Robin told Ted that if he left a big chocolate cake in the house mommas
gonna cut her off a slice. In his anger, Barney nearly let it slip that hes secretly in love with
Robin, saying that of course P.J. would want to sleep with Robin, shes the greatest woman on
the planet.
Meanwhile, Ted had to deal with his new brochures, which P.J. sent off to get printed. They
came back with a photo of him and Robin on the cover. Ted fired P.J.
P.J. called Robin and told her hed been fired, then he waited for her at her place. He sat on
the couch and watched Wheel of Fortune. Later, P.J. and Robin made out on the couch and
when P.J. got up to use the bathroom, Robin admitted she was over P.J. She awkwardly broke
up with P.J.
At work, Marshall was feeling stressed about being sports guy because everyone was on his
case about the fantasy baseball league.
With P.J. and Robin broken up, Ted hired P.J. back. Youve got to be kidding me, Robin said.
Then P.J. and Robin hooked up again. Youve got to be kidding me, Ted said.
Marshall told Barney that P.J. and Robin were back together. Youve got to be kidding me,
Barney said.
Barney the broke the news to Marshall that hes in love with Robin, but Marshall already
knew. Barney tried to clarify that hes not actually in love with Robin, I just miss her when shes
not around, I think about her all the time, and I imagine us one day running towards each other
in slow motion and Im wearing a brown, suede vest.
Barney said Lily would know what to do get P.J. out of the way. But Marshall wanted to try
his hand at it.
P.J. showed up at the apartment and left both Robin and Ted, handing Robin a letter he hoped
would make her feel better and handing Ted a bouquet of roses.
Cut to P.J. at his new job, handling the fantasy baseball league at GNB. Poor evil, Ericksen.
Pure evil, Barney said before thanking Marshall.
Ted told Robin he was worried about starting his own firm, and that he was really just putting
it off to maintain the dream of starting his own firm. Once he started trying, hed face the possi-
bility of failing.
He felt like he was giving up before hed even started.
Talk about giving up, Robin said. I used to describe my ideal guy as funny, smart, passion-
ate, challenging. And now, apparently, I will settle for in my apartment.
Robin gave Ted a little pep talk and left the room. Ted picked up the phone, dialed, and said,
Hi, this is Ted Moseby of Mosbius Designs, Im calling to inquire about any design needs you
may have now or in the future.
That sounds great, buddy, Robin said, walking back into the room holding her phone. Now
call an actual client.
At the office, Marshall and Barney were having lunch when food strolled by carrying cotton
candy. Hey, food guy! Marshall said.
Hey, toy guy, Barney said as toy guy zoomed by on a scooter.
Then a ninja crept by, holding a sword.
Whos that guy? Marshall asked.
He doesnt work here, Barney said. I think we should leave the building.
This has happened before, Barney added as they headed for the exit.

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The Three Days Rule


Season 4
Episode Number: 85
Season Episode: 21

Originally aired: Monday April 27, 2009


Writer: Greg Malins
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030)
Guest Stars: Rebecca Budig (Holly), Kevin Michael Richardson (Stan)
Production Code: 4ALH22
Summary: When Ted violates the three days rule by continually texting with a
girl hes just met, Barney and Marshall retaliate by impersonating her.

Ted got a girls phone number at the


bar and promised to call. Barney congrat-
ulated him because the girls name was
Holly, and girls whose names end in ly
are always dirty.
Dont even get me started on girls
whose names should end in ly but
instead end in i, Barney continued.
Those girls are like roller coasters.
Youve got to wait in a long line, but once
you get up there, you just hold on for dear
life and hope you dont drop your keys.
Ted wanted to call Holly right away
and play cute, doing the its been so long bit even though theyd just met. Barney advised
against it, citing the three-day rule. Ted said that rule is played out and proposed a new rule,
You like her, you call her. Barney didnt understand (Im sorry, I dont speak I never get laid.)
Barney went into a speech about how Jesus actually started the three-day rule, because he
waited three days to come back to life. Jesus then finally came back on a Sunday, because
every one was already at church and thinking he was dead. Then, Bam! He bursts through the
back door, runs up the aisle, every ones totally psyched and, FYI, thats when he invented the
high-five.
Ted promised not to call Holly for three days but he didnt say anything about texting. He
sent her a little texty text, and realized it was the lamest thing ever texted. Once it was sent, he
couldnt get it back. A good 23 minutes later, he got a reply it was Holly saying she was in the
bath. Ted gave a Beavis and Butthead-like chuckle that Robin called his naked lady noise.
He continued texting until 2 in the morning, and again the next day. She seemed perfect, old
voiceover Ted said. But Robin told Ted that Holly was lying about what she was wearing, when
Holly said she was just sitting around reading architecture magazines in her old cheerleader
uniform.
Then Ted got a message he thought was meant for someone else. It was something about
getting take-out from Genaros and wanting to do him later. Later, at the bar, Robin met up with
Marshall and Barney. Marshall had take-out from Genaros and Robin quickly put it together
they were pretending to be Holly on the other end of Teds texts.
Barney admitted to Robin that he knew Ted would try to call Holly before the three days were
up, so he took Teds phone and switched Hollys phone number with his work cell phone number.
They were just going to make fun of him for calling too soon, but then he started texting her,
Marshall explained.

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The first text came through and Barney and Marshall decided to say they were Holly and
say they were in the bath. They laughed. Then Marshall thought they should confess. Oooor,
Barney said, we could tell him our favorite color is red, and we think the cowboy look is very
sexy.
Cut to Ted wearing his red cowboy boots, and replying, Im wearing them right now, and they
do look sexy!
Barney and Marshall plotted what to text next and eventually realized that with their flirta-
tious, suggestive texts, they were about to have sex with Ted.
They said they were doing it for Teds own good, because he had that look in his eye that said
he was about to do something crazy like when he first started going out with Robin.
They said he was showing all the tell-tale signs of saying I love you too soon.
1. He joked about getting married. You like architecture? We should get married. Haha. LOL.
Just kidding? Barney read from the phone.
2. He made a crazy, way-too-soon trip trip suggestion. I like beer, too. We should totally go to
Germany together. LOL. jk. LOL. Barney read.
3. He got way too personal, way too soon. Yeah, my parents got divorced a couple years back.
It was really tough, Barney read. LOL.
OK, he clearly doesnt know what LOL means, Robin concluded.
Ted wasnt saying I love you as quickly as they thought he would. But then they met Stan, a
wise, tough-looking, Barry White-like presence who gave them all the sweet words of love to send
to Ted, including a quote from Pablo Neruda. Stan was a night security guard who was having
lunch at McClarens. Barney and Marshall practically wept and fell in love with Stan as he fed
them the lines.
If Ted wont say it, I will, Barney said to Stan. I love you.
Robin told them to call Ted and apologize. They agreed, but when Robin left, Barney said,
Ooooor...
Robin got to the apartment and Ted told her that Holly clarified the text about the take-out.
It was a misunderstanding, he said. Her friend Marsha accidentally used her phone to text her
husband Billy. No one sprained any muscles there, Robin said.
Then she told Ted he was falling for Barney and Marshall. She told him everything. Ted was
upset, at first, then decided to mess with them by sending a message of his own now that he
knew they were on the other receiving end.
After a little back and forth, he sent, I probably shouldnt tell you this, I mean we barely know
each other. But what the hell, Ill just say it... Marshall read the messages to Barney as they
excited waited for the I love you theyd been expecting. The next message came in, I sometimes
have gay dreams about my best friend.
Ted and Marshall argued over which of them Ted was talking about. Look at you, Barney
said. A still-in-the-closet 80-year-old wouldnt be into that mess.
Marshall argued that he was snugly and Barney wasnt. Im cuddly, bitch, Marshall said.
Deal with it.
Barney said his body would rock Teds world, and Marshall said that he and Ted have a
history. I know what he likes. There are things I would do to him that would blow his mi.
Marshall stopped himself and wondered why they kept trying to have sex with Ted.
Robin was with the guys at the bar when Ted showed up, talking about this crazy dream
he had the other night. Barney and Marshall tried to make him feel comfortable. Then Ted went
on for 30 minutes, telling them about a dream he had about eating dinner with his five favorite
architects.
They wondered why he wasnt telling them about the dream hed had about his best friend,
so Marshall tried to get it out of him.
Marshall asked Ted about the time in the future when the machines rise against humans, kill
everyone and all thats left is you, me, and Barney. Which one of us would you, umm, get with?
Ted asked why hed want to get with one of them. Barney said the machines were forcing him.
Ted decided hed get with ... Holly.
Then he stood up and told them he knew what they did. Holly walked into the bar and Ted
explained that he tracked her down at work and asked her out. She said she loved that Ted called
her right away.

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And, by the way, I dont sit around my apartment reading architecture magazines in my old
cheerleading uniform, she told them. I do that completely naked.
Ted made his naked lady noise.
Holly went to wait outside, and Ted said he could take care of himself. He said some girls
might not like it that he called too soon or said things too soon, but, those arent the right girls
for me. Maybe the right girls is the one who loves that I do those things, because thats just who
I am.
Then Ted noted that Holli spells her name with an i.
Finally, Ted said hed never until now told anybody the truth about what happened on that
date. She suggested they get married. Then she suggested they go on a trip to Brazil together.
Then she said the doctor told her it was all cleared up, so Im good to go. Then she finally said,
I think Im in love with you, Ted.
Old voiceover Ted said he didnt need to wait three days, but Holli really, really did.
He did give this bit of info: When I got your mothers number. I called right away.
Later, at the bar, Stan showed up to the delight of Barney and Marshall while Robin sat with
them. Barney and Marshall asked him to stay and Stan said he couldnt because he had a date.
You ready, baby? he asked Robin. She got up to leave with him.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

Right Place Right Time


Season 4
Episode Number: 86
Season Episode: 22

Originally aired: Monday May 4, 2009


Writer: Stephen Lloyd
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson), Jason
Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky)
Recurring Role: Sarah Chalke (Stella), Bob Saget (Voice of Ted 2030), Lyndsy Fonseca
(Daughter), David Henrie (Son)
Guest Stars: Dan Castellaneta (Milt), Kit Pongetti (Fran), Katie Hein (Jenni), Mary
Ann Jarou (Jenny), Bianca Lopez (Gennie), Kurt Long (Galoshes the
Weather Clown), Steven Montfort (Matthew), Tanner Maguire (12-
Year-Old Barney), Austin Majors (12-Year-Old Matthew), John Duerler
(Harlen Johnsen), Joel McCrary (Ged Wilkinson)
Production Code: 4ALH21
Summary: Ted explains to his future kids how a series of unrelated events led to
a chance encounter with a former girlfriend. Barney makes the 200th
notch in his bedpost. Marshall goes overboard when he discovers GNB
has a department that can make him charts and graphs.

Ted was on the verge of scoring his


first big client and went to a meeting
dressed like a cowboy, saying he was
born to design a restaurant in the shape
of a cowboy hat. Robin told him to go for
a walk and get a bagel. He went to see
what the universe had waiting for him. He
grabbed a yellow umbrella an headed out
the door.
He first turned right out his door, but
then went left. Then he stopped at a news
stand and veered off his path for a mo-
ment to give a homeless man a dollar. As
Old Ted talked about how the universe had a plan that was always in motion, it started raining
and Ted pulled out the umbrella.
Old Ted said the parts of the universe were constantly moving, making sure youre exactly
where youre supposed to be, exactly when youre supposed to be there. The right place at the
right time. A woman tapped on his shoulder and Ted looked at her.
Old Ted said it was a miracle that he ended up on that street corner and explained what led
him to that street corner. He flashed back a few days to a moment when Robin threw up on
camera on her morning news show. She said she was pregnant (actress Cobie Smulders really
is, by the way), but said she was joking. It was food poisoning. She didnt want to tell Ted where
she got food poisoning because it was a place he loved.
Barney came in to the apartment telling Ted to go on YouTube and search Robin Scherbatsky
vomit, but stopped when he saw Robin was already home.
Later, Robin finally told Ted she got food poisoning from Schlagels Bagels. That was why he
turned left instead of right when he walked out to get a bagel.
Now, why did Ted stop at the news stand? Flash back to a couple days earlier, when Barney
showed him a photo of Petra Petrova, Bros Life magazines girl of the year (for May). Barney
had a date with her. He said Petra would be his 200th. As in, Sex with, Barney explained.

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Barneys quest was based on a kid in middle school named Matthew Panning, who claimed
hed had sex with 100 girls. Barney said one day hell have hooked up with 200.
Ted said 200 is too many. Barney said that was impossible. Marshall agreed it wasnt too
many, but said Barney was disgusting, but it wasnt too many. Marshall made charts that showed
that out of the roughly 16,640 girls Barney has hit on in his 16-year sexual activity career. That
is a success rate of a little over 1 percent. Thats a batting average of .012 eight times worse
than one-handed pitcher, thats right, pitcher, Jim Abbott.
Robin examined the list and noticed Barney counted the same girl twice. He decided he needed
to have sex with someone before going out with the Czech supermodel, so as not to squander her
on No. 199.
Barney came back to the bar an hour later, putting some ice on his region. He went to the
gym and hooked up with Pauline, a girl who was not exactly his type but was really into him and
worked out at his gym. We never saw Paulines face, but she bench pressed a heck of a lot and
she pulled Barney down toward her when it was go time.
Every inch of her tasted like roast beef and Creatine, Barney said.
He still had 30 minutes before he was to meet Petra, but Robin broke some bad news. He
counted the one girl twice, but he used the number 138 twice. That meant Pauline was actually
No. 200. Barney whimpered and said that Pauline actually had posed for a magazine, but it
wasnt Bros Life, it was Muscle Sexxy.
Ted explained that he stopped at the news stand to see the picture of Barneys 200th. It wasnt
pretty, but we didnt see it.
Old Ted explained to his kids that if he hadnt stopped, he wouldve walked by the news stand
and gotten to that corner a minute earlier, they might never have been born.
He finally explained why he stopped to give a dollar to the homeless man. It went back to
Marshalls job at Goliath National Bank, where he discovered that the graphics department could
create all the charts he ever wanted. Marshall made so many charts the group had to have an
intervention and threw away all of his charts.
When Marshall called Ted in a panic from work, saying he needed his charts of hed be fired,
Ted went into the garbage looking for them. Thats where he found Milt, the homeless man,
selling Marshalls charts. Milt wanted $1 million for them, but Ted promised to give him one
dollar per day for 1 million days. Milt took the deal and Ted took the charts.
So, if I hadnt bought those charts for Marshall, I wouldnt have had to cut down 77th to give
Milt his dollar, Ted said. So there you have it, kids. Theres a lot of little reasons why the big
things in our lives happen.
If I had known then where all the little things were leading me, and how grateful I wouldve
been to them for getting me there, I probably wouldve done something like this, Old Ted said,
showing a montage of Young Ted going to each person involved and giving them a hug, from Milt
to the news stand guy to Pauline, and more.
Because somehow, I ended up in the right place at the right time, and as a result, my life
would never be the same.
The woman tapped his shoulder, and Ted turned to see it was Stella.
Finally, at the bar the next day, Barney confronted Matthew Panning, the stud of Port Rich-
mond Middle School. Barney showed Matthew the list of his 200 women. Matthew said it was
way too many and asked Barney if hed had counseling for sex addiction. Matthew admitted he
lied about having had sex with 100 girls.
I didnt have a pet Ewok, either, Matthew said before leaving.
Barney ripped up the list and said, OK, 200. Now what?
He looked up toward the bar and saw Robin.

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How I Met Your Mother Episode Guide

As Fast As She Can


Season 4
Episode Number: 87
Season Episode: 23

Originally aired: Monday May 11, 2009


Writer: Carter Bays, Craig Thomas
Director: Pamela Fryman
Show Stars: Bob Saget (Voice of Ted, 2030), Cobie Smulders (Robin Scherbatsky),
Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin), Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson),
Jason Segel (Marshall Eriksen), Josh Radnor (Ted Mosby)
Recurring Role: Sarah Chalke (Stella Zinman), Jason Jones (Tony)
Guest Stars: Ezra Buzzington (Highway Cop #1), Peter Breitmayer (Minnesota State
Trooper), Renee Taylor (Mrs. Matsen), Amir Talai (Richard Greenleaf),
Joe Thornton Jr. (Highway Cop # 3), Azita Ghanizada (Sexy Female
Cop), Ron Rogge (Highway Cop # 2), Nicolai Dorian (Skateboarder)
Production Code: 4ALH23
Summary: Ted continues trying to land a client for Mosbius Designs, and when
Tony tries to help nothing goes as plannedfor either of them. Barney
tries to smooth talk his way out of a ticket.

Old Ted said he thought hed spend


the rest of his life with Stella. He acted
like he was pleasantly surprised to see
Stella and Tony. Robin thought Ted
shouldve let her have it, but Marshall
and Barney praised him for playing it
cool.
Give it a week, Barney said. Youll
get her back. And front.
Ted said he didnt want Stella back,
but that night his mind began to wan-
der with fantasies about Stella coming to
him. Then, he had one where he opened
the door and Tony stood there in his
karate uniform, saying, Hello, Ted.
Tony came in and laid on Teds couch and told him he wanted to make it up to Ted for taking
Stella away from him when Ted and Stella were engaged. Tony said he had a lot of money.
Marshall, Barney and Robin hoped Tony handed Ted a check. Tony explained his parents give a
lot of money to Columbia University, and he wanted him to become a professor there. Ted said
he didnt want the job and asked for a new subject.
Barney brought up the fact that he got a ticket and Marshall said he shouldve talked his
way out of it. Marshall recalled talking his way out of a ticket in 1998 by telling the cop he
was speeding to a barbecue. Marshall said he knew it would work because the cop smelled
like barbecue and had mustard on his holster. Barney accepted the challenge and decided that
because he is the master of manipulation and can get a stripper to may him for a lap dance, he
could talk his way out of a ticket.
Tony came to Teds again, this time talking about a friend who wanted a new house built.
Tony handed Ted, a big fat check.
Barney races down the highway, baiting a cop to pull him over. Barney handed the cop a gift
certificate for a custom-tailored tux. He got a $370 ticket, and the cop kept the gift certificate.
Robin then told them how she cried her way out of a ticket. Barney headed back to New Jersey.

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Ted explained that his new client didnt care much about the house, but the guy was kind
of creepy and had an odd request for a laundry room that was 15 feet by 15 feet. He wanted
stained-proof ceramic tile from floor to ceiling. He wanted steel chains dangling from the ceiling
at a height of nine feet, where his laundry bags will hang for three days and three nights before
I ... clean them.
The gang decided the guy wanted Ted to design a murder house. Marshall was freaked out.
The man then said he needed the place to be soundproof because he tends to make a lot of noise
when he does laundry.
Barney got another cop to pull him over and claimed he was speeding because his wife was
having a baby. When the cop asked where his wife was, Barney said, She took the other car,
noting that his seats were Italian leather. The cop proceeded to write the ticket.
Tony apologized to Ted for the murder house thing, saying, that was my bad. Then he told
Ted he could design the Statue of Liberty a husband, because hes got pull with the city.
Ted told Tony to stop and said he didnt want Stella back. Im better off without her, Ted
said. Shes all yours, buddy. Tony said he was relieved and left.
Tony left and Old Ted thought he was putting the whole thing behind him ... or so he thought.
Stella knocked on Teds door that night and said Tony broke up with her.
Stella said Tony broke up with her because of something Ted said. Robin thought it was
awesome that Ted got Tony to break up with Stella. Stella explained to Ted that he reminded her
about how to be in love, but she never stopped loving Tony. Ted wanted Stella to leave, but Stella
asked Ted to talk to Tony.
Meanwhile, Barney was getting pulled over again, but this time is was by a female office. He
sweet-talked her a bit and she told him to get out of the car. Why, am I under arrest? Barney
asked.
No, she said, unzipping her u