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Mastering Lifes Energies Book Study Guide

Book
Study
Leaders
Guide
Using Mastering Lifes Energies:
Simple Steps to a Luminous Life at
Work and Play"
By Maria Nemeth, Ph.D., MCC

2009 Academy for Coaching Excellence


Mastering Lifes Energies Book Study Guide

2009 Academy for Coaching Excellence


Mastering Lifes Energies Book Study Guide

Mastering Lifes Energies


By Maria Nemeth, PhD , MCC

Guide for Book Study Group Leaders

To the Study Leader

Introductory material mission of groups, suggested logistics.

Ask your group to read the chapters that will be discussed ahead of time so they
will be familiar with the concepts and ready to discuss them.

For each group meeting, the participants should bring:

Their copy of Mastering Lifes Energies


A notebook with paper and a pen

As the leader, if you are leading this group face-to face, you will want to provide
extra pens and paper, 3 x 5 cards for some of the exercises, a watch to keep pair
discussions and the whole group on track, and items like tissues and snacks for
group wellness.

Suggest that people pair up so they can support each other between sessions. They
can exchange emails and phone numbers, and check in once or twice between
sessions to see if they are noticing any shifts from practicing the simple exercises
from the book and group.

ZY

2009 Academy for Coaching Excellence


Mastering Lifes Energies Book Study Guide

Week One - Chapters 1 & 2


Reading

Introduction
Chapter 1. Being Luminous
Chapter 2. Driving in the Fog

Welcome and Introductions


Welcome everyone to the group! Introduce yourself and invite everyone to share their
names and a little about themselves. You may want to explain anything necessary
regarding the format and expectations of the study group.

Group Share: What do I want to get out of this study group?


Go around the room and have each person share for one minute what they hope to get out
of the group. Acknowledge people for taking this step toward greater clarity, focus, ease
and grace in their lives.

Discussion: What is Luminosity?


Read out loud the explanation of luminous moments on page 10-11. You might go
around and have people take turns reading the qualities of luminous moments on page 11.
Ask the question: What is the difference between happiness and luminosity? Discuss this
for a minute in the group.

Ask people to silently reflect on a moment in their lives that was luminous. Have them
turn to a partner and share this moment. What happened and what made the moment
luminous? Allow two minutes for each person to share.

Invite a couple volunteers to share these moments. In the larger group, take a few minutes
and discuss the following:

- What do you experience as you talk about this moment in your life? What do you
notice about another person as he or she shares a luminous moment?
- How would it be if you had more luminous moments?
- Refresh your memory of Sally and her investment portfolio on p. 14-15. What
was luminous about this experience for Sally? How does her story relate to the
idea of lowering the bar in this chapter?

Five Minute Break

Practice: Being Willing

Read out loud the explanation of the power of being willing on p. 18 (at least the first
three paragraphs.) Ask the group what they notice about this idea as it applies to them.
Have everyone try saying I have willingness and I am willing out loud, and compare
what they notice about doing so.

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Next, have someone read the paragraph on the bottom of p. 19 that starts Heres where
the nevertheless comes in. Pass out 3 x 5 cards and have everyone write Nevertheless, I
am willing on the card. Ask the group to carry it with them for the next three days, refer
to it when they heard that internal chatter that comes up when they move forward with a
goal, and report back next week on how it went.

Discussion: Driving in the Fog

Read page 24, paragraph one that introduces what the fog is.

Have people answer the following questions with a partner.

- What does the fog mean to me?


- How does the fog affect my own path in life?

Have everyone take out a sheet of paper, for the exercise on page 25. Have them write
down a goal or dream, and then the reasons why they have put it off. You can time this
giving no more than one or two minutes to quickly write down as many reasons as they
have. Repeat the process with one or two more goals. Then have them talk with a partner
about the following questions:

- Which words or phrases repeated themselves on multiple goals?


- What are you experiencing looking at these lists of reasons?

Come back together, and acknowledge people for being willing to look at their own fog
generating mechanism. It may feel very uncomfortable at first. Have a few people share
their reactions to their lists. Read paragraph on the bottom of page 27, or have someone
else read it out loud.

Read suggested exercise starting on page 29, paragraph four. Suggest that they do this
exercise at least once before the next meeting. Its an opportunity to gain skill to observe
and, ultimately, lift the fog.

Finally, read together the fish anecdote on p. 31. Ask the group what they can learn from
their lists of reasons, and what the observational gap means for their path in life. Allow
a few people to share.

Closing: Looking Ahead

Ask if there is anything else anyone would like to say about this weeks material. Remind
the participants about next weeks reading Chapters 3 and 4 and that you will ask
them to share what it was like to use their Nevertheless, I am willing card and to do the
exercise on page 29 at least once. Thank everyone for coming and getting their study
group off to a great start.

ZY
2009 Academy for Coaching Excellence
Mastering Lifes Energies Book Study Guide

Week Two - Chapters 3 & 4


Reading

Ch. 3 A Game Worth Playing


Ch. 4 Trouble at the Border

Welcome and Group Share

Welcome everyone back to the group. Allow some time for people to share what they
have noticed since the last meeting. In particular, ask people to share what it was like to
use their Nevertheless, I am willing card.

Discussion: Intentions and Goals

Read aloud the description of a game worth playing on p. 35 (This is what I mean by
games worth playing.), to the bottom of the page. Then turn to p. 38 and read the two
paragraphs starting with Obstacles and challenges.

Ask your group to share in groups of two or three an example of a game worth playing in
their lives a peak learning experience or challenge they rose to with gusto. What were
the obstacles, and how did you respond?

Come back together and share a few examples of these games worth playing. Discuss the
following questions as a group, from the reading everyone has already done.

- What are Lifes Intentions? What is an example? How are they related to a game
worth playing? (see p. 39-40)
- What is a goal? What is an example? How is an enjoyable, meaningful related to
Lifes Intentions? (see p 41)

Ask your group what they think about discovering their Lifes Intentions. What would
this knowledge do for their heros path in life? You can let them know you will be doing
the Lifes Intentions inventory together at the next meeting.

Five Minute Break

Discussion: Trouble at the Border

In groups of two or three, have people brainstorm the qualities of physical and
metaphysical reality for one or two minutes. In the group, summarize the differences,
especially form, density, permanency, and unpredictability in physical reality, and higher
energy and the ability to have unlimited dreams, ideas, and visions in metaphysical
reality. Ask the questions:

- Why do we need both metaphysical and physical reality?

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- What happens if we take action in one but not the other? (Metafizzle v. being
driven)
- What have you experienced in the past when you tried to put a great idea into
physical reality? What physical sensations or recurring questions or thoughts did
you have? Give everyone a chance to share on this last question about their
manifestation of Trouble at the Border.

Read aloud the description of Monkey Mind on p. 56-57 (stopping after cunning,
baffling, and powerful.) Ask the group what they see about this description. Ask, would
you like to see what your individual Monkey Mind sounds like?

Practice: Meeting Monkey Mind

Have everyone get out a sheet of paper. As you read the Monkey Mind Symptoms
Laundry List on p. 59-62, have them write down the symptoms that sound all-too
familiar. You may want to read the symptom, read the examples, and repeat the symptom
so people can write it down. Remind people to be compassionate with themselves in
discovering these things. They dont need to analyze the symptoms or try to fix anything;
theyre just noticing something interesting.

On another paper, have people write down something theyve always wanted to do or
have but havent gotten to yet as specific as possible a project, trip, job, or interest.
Give everyone two minutes to write down all the thoughts that come up about why they
havent done it yet.

In pairs, invite everyone to compare this list with the personalized Monkey Mind list they
just made, or with the list in the book. What do they notice? What Monkey Mind
symptoms are in the thoughts they wrote down?

Come back together and ask a few people to share what they noticed about their Monkey
Mind symptoms. Congratulate people for being courageous and looking at this. End by
taking turns reading the qualities of Monkey Mind v. the voice of wisdom on p. 63-64.

Finally, have them read out loud page 6, paragraph 5, to the end of the chapter.

Closing: Looking Ahead

Ask if there is anything else anyone would like to say about this weeks material. Suggest
that when they check in with their partner this week, they share which Monkey Mind
symptoms they have noticed, and what happened when they observed this and said
Thank you for sharing!

Remind the participants about next weeks reading Chapters 5 and 6 and that you
will ask them to share which Monkey Mind symptoms they noticed this coming week.
Thank everyone for coming!

ZY
2009 Academy for Coaching Excellence
Mastering Lifes Energies Book Study Guide

Week Three - Chapters 5 & 6


Reading

Ch. 5 You Already Are Who You Are Willing to Be


Ch. 6 Your Standards of Integrity

Welcome and Group Share

Welcome everyone back to the group! Spend some time having people share what they
have noticed since the last meeting, especially about their Monkey Minds habits. This is
an affirming and hands-on meeting, so check in with everyone before the fun starts.

Practice: Your Lifes Intentions

Review with the group the concept of Lifes Intentions from last week. Read the
description on p. 71 from the second paragraph to the bottom. What would it be like to
have a concrete inventory of your Lifes Intentions?

Have everyone turn to the Inventory on p. 73. Ask them to take a deep breath and focus
on what is most important to them in life. Have them read through the list once, then go
back and mark each from 1 to 5 in importance. Pass out 3x5 cards and ask people to write
on them the Intentions they rated a 4 or 5. In pairs, discuss, from p. 74:

- What do you experience reading this list of intentions? What are your body
sensations and thoughts
- How would the quality of your life shift if conversations about these intentions
replaced conversations about your doubts and worries?

Have everyone come back together. Ask them to carry the card with them this week. But
first, read about fundamental affirmations on p. 76, reading aloud from Lets make this
even more personally relevant to the bottom of the page. Invite your group to write I
am willing in front of their list of Intentions. You can even try as a group the experiment
on p. 77, saying out loud together the sample affirmations, and comparing the energy.

Five Minute Break

Practice: Your Standards of Integrity

Read together the three-level model that begins Ch. 3 about who we pretend to be, who
were worried we are, and who we really are. Ask the group what they see about this
concept for themselves.

Lead your group through the Standards of Integrity exercise on p. 86-90, making a list of
the people they admire and the qualities that these people demonstrate. Make sure to read
aloud the explanation of what these attributes mean on p. 89. Check in with the group
about what they see about the news that this list is a reflection of who they are.

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Pass out 3 x 5 cards and have the group write their Standards of Integrity on the card as
demonstrated on p. 90. Invite everyone to read their card aloud in its entirety, starting
with These are my standards of integrity. This is a big moment for people.
Acknowledge them for their great work and for seeing who they really are.

Quick Discussion: Ontology and Who You Really Are

Have people turn to a partner and brainstorm for 2 minutes the difference between
psychology and ontology. Come back and discuss these two ideas in the group, using p.
95-96 as a guide.

- What is the difference between who we are psychologically and who we are
ontologically?
- How do these ideas relate to the Lifes Intentions and Standards of Integrity we
discovered today?

Closing: Looking Ahead

Ask if there is anything else anyone would like to say about this weeks material. Suggest
that when they check in with their partner this week, they share anything they notice
about referring to their Lifes Intentions and Standards of Integrity cards during the day.
As a practical note, suggest that they get the cards laminated, as you will use them in later
weeks.

Remind the participants about next weeks reading Chapters 7 and 8 and that you
will ask them to share what they noticed about referring to their Lifes Intentions and
Standards of Integrity in between these sessions. Thank everyone for coming!

YZ
2009 Academy for Coaching Excellence
Mastering Lifes Energies Book Study Guide

Week Four - Chapters 7 & 8


Reading

Ch. 7 Draw Your Own Conclusions


Ch. 8 What Are You Looking At?

Welcome and Group Share

Welcome everyone back to the group. Allow some time for people to share what they
have noticed about the material since the last meeting. What has it been like to physically
have your Lifes Intentions and Standards of Integrity near you?

Discussion: Forming Conclusions (Chapter 7)

Have everyone sit with a partner and answer the question: Have you tried to change your
thoughts, or stop thinking certain thoughts? What happens when you try?

Come back together and have a few people share their answers. Look together at the four-
box model on p. 103. Discuss as a group:

- How is it that different people can come to opposite opinions about the same
person or events?
- How might you show up differently if you started from different conclusions in
dealing with the people around you?
- How might other people show up differently around you?
- What are examples of luminous conclusions we might start with? (You may refer
to the examples of Mother Teresa or Jody from Ch. 7.)

Discussion: Asking Ontological Questions (Chapter 8)

Look at the comparisons at the beginning of this chapter on page 115. Ask the group to
look at the difference between the right and left side of the comparisons. Whats the
difference here?

Read together page 117 starting with That said and going until the end of the paragraph
on the tap of 118. Ask for questions about this material. Offer a quick personal share of
your own if it will contribute.

Read together the description of observing and shifting the focus of our attention on p.
120, from Unlike the process to the bottom of the page. Have people discuss with a
partner:

- What happens when you shift the focus of your attention? What is it that we can
shift our attention to?
- Look at the list of psychological and ontological questions on p. 121-22. Which
psychological questions sound most familiar to you?
- How might things be different if you asked the comparable ontological question?

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Come back together and have people share what they noticed for themselves about the
two lists of questions.

Practice: Seeing Others through the Ontological Lens

You are going to practice seeing people through the ontological lens. Ask the group to
picture in their mind a person they care about a family member or good friend. Have
them close their eyes and imagine this person as you read the psychological conclusions
about this person on p. 25, from If you held the first through the first full paragraph on
p. 126. Read slowly and with emphasis. Ask them to remember what they experienced
seeing this person in this way, but keep their eyes closed.

Now read the six ontological conclusions on p. 127, from Now lets look at six other
conclusions through the first full paragraph on p. 128.

Ask the group to open their eyes, and share what they noticed about these two sets of
conclusions about this person they care about. What did they experience physically? How
would your interactions change if you held those ontological conclusions about them to
be true?

Pass out a 3x5 card and suggest that they copy down the ontological conclusions about
others that were outlined in this chapter. Ask them to follow the instructions on page 131
regarding how to use this card between now and the next session.

Closing: Looking Ahead

Ask if there is anything else anyone would like to say about this weeks material. Suggest
that when they check in with their partner this week, they share anything they notice
about the conclusions they hold about others and the ontological lens.

Remind the participants about next weeks reading Chapters 8 and 9 and that you
will ask them to share what they noticed about forming conclusions. Thank everyone for
coming, and remind them to bring their Lifes Intentions card next week, because you
will be creating goals!

YZ

2009 Academy for Coaching Excellence


Mastering Lifes Energies Book Study Guide

Week Five - Chapters 9 & 10


Reading

Ch. 9 Energy Efficiency


Ch. 10 Its How You Play the Game

Welcome and Group Share

Welcome everyone back to the group and ask them to share about the difference it made
when shifted the focus of their attention to ontological conclusions. Support at least three
people in telling a story about something new that occurred when they did this. Applying
what they are learning to every day life helps the principles come alive for them.

Discussion: The Six Forms of Energy

Give participants about five minutes in silence to refresh their memory about a form of
energy that they are
Using as a conscious conduit, and
Leaking the energy ( being unconscious)

Put them in pairs to discuss what they have discovered. Give them about five minutes for
this part. Remind them to look at where they are being conscious: Monkey Mind draws
us to looking at whats not working before we see what is working.

For the energy of money, have someone aloud read page 142, paragraphs two and three.
This prepares them to see how energy relates to attaining their goals. Then, ask for
someone to share about where they are currently using the energy of money consciously
or unconsciously. Have them be specific.

For time, have someone read page 145, paragraphs one and two (Beginning with
Luminosity on 15 minutes a day) Have someone share about what theyre noticing
regarding how they have used time.

For physical vitality, ask the group: what would it be like to focus on the conclusion that
your body loves you? How would that change the way you currently behave toward your
body? Have someone share about this.

For enjoyment, ask participants: what is the difference, as defined in this book, between
enjoying and consuming? Have someone share about this with a specific personal
example.

For relationship, read aloud page 153, paragraphs 1-3. Ask someone to recall a time in
which they knew they had a positive effect on someones life.

For creativity, read aloud page 155, paragraphs 1-4. Ask participants to raise their hand if
they would be willing to ask one or two friends/family members the questions, take notes,

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and come back with what they discovered. Acknowledge those who raise their hands, and
tell the others to give it some serious thought. Were going for luminosity here!

Read page 155 paragraph 5 and page 156, paragraph 1.

Break

After the break, divide people into groups of two, give them 3x5 cards and ten minutes to
support each other in coming up with a game worth playing and goals worth playing for.
They can use page 156-158 as a guide for this. If this is a small group, go through each
one, coaching them where the SMART goals seem vague or seem more like tasks. If this
is a large group (over 15) coach with at least 4 people and ask participants to return to
their 3x5 cards and make adjustments if needed, given how they heard you coach these
people.

Acknowledge them for being willing to do this, and remind them to shift the focus of
their attention from Monkey Mind to their game worth playing.

Chapter 10: Its How You Play the Game

Page 160 says you can work hard with ease. Ask participants

-What does that mean?


-What is the opposite of ease, according to this book?
-What did you get out of the section: When Ease isnt Easy?

There are five stages any project goes through. Your game worth playing is a project.
You are just starting out on this project, so to keep this as real and relevant as possible,
were going to focus on stages One and Two this evening. Please make sure you
understand the other stages, though, because your success with your game/project may
depend upon it.

Stage One, Creation:

Have someone read page 164, paragraph 2, (description of point A) out loud.
Have another person read page 165, paragraph one (point B) out loud.
Repeat this with points C and D, page 166.

Ask group:

-How can you apply this to what you wrote on your 3x5 card?

Stage Two, Liftoff

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Move through this section asking various people to read the opening paragraph for each
of the points (A-E). Tell them that were covering this quickly, but that you want them to
come to the next session being able to describe where they are at with their game worth
playing in terms of these first two stages. Let them know that this material is designed for
them to apply to real time experiences. We want to see them put into practice what they
are reading. Understanding these stages as theories wont bring them the luminosity they
seek.

The other three stages (Momentum, Stability and Breakthrough) are there for reference.
They might look at these stages and identify projects in their personal or professional
lives that are at any one of them.

Closing: Looking Ahead

Ask if there is anything else anyone would like to say about this weeks material. Suggest
that they carry their 3x5 card with them this week, sharing their Lifes Intention and Goal
with friends and/or family and colleagues.

Also suggest that during this week they may want to talk with their partner about:
-Any progress on their game worth playing,
-What they discovered when they asked their friends or colleagues those questions about
their creative gifts.
-What they notice about the stage their project is in, and the actions they will take at this
point toward their goal.

Acknowledge them for being willing to apply these principles to physical reality. This is
where the rubber meets the road and where they will learn to consciously design the
occasion for luminosity in their lives. Next week is our final session, and will cover
Chapter 11 and 12. Come prepared for a celebration of the great work you have done in
this book study!

YZ

2009 Academy for Coaching Excellence


Mastering Lifes Energies Book Study Guide

Week Six - Chapters 11 & 12


Reading
Chapter 11: The Sum of Your Parts
Chapter 12: Cultivating Grace

Welcome and Group Share

Welcome everyone back and invite them to share what they have noticed since the last
session about:
-Any progress on their game worth playing,
-What they discovered when they asked their friends or colleagues those questions about
their creative gifts.
-What they noticed about the stage their project is in, and the actions they took at this
point toward their goal

Chapter 11
Discussion: Coherence and Incoherence

In an earlier chapter we looked at the four boxes, discovering how that model gives us
a roadmap for the ways in which the conclusions we focus upon affect our experience of
life. If were sincerely interested in enhancing our life and bringing about luminous
experiences, this chapter will show us how to do it in a simple yet powerful way.

Coherence Is a Portal to Luminosity; Incoherence Slams the Door. (Page 186)

Have people take turns reading out loud the first four paragraphs under this heading.
Then, get into pairs and look at the following for about two or three minutes:
How does the definition of coherence relate to the Uncle Arnold story on pages
187-188?
Can I recall a time when I experienced coherence due to an action I took?

Have some participants discuss what they saw with the group.

Have people take turns reading out loud the section from the top of page 189 and
including the first paragraph on page 190. Then, have the same pairs discuss the
following for about two or three minutes:
How does the definition of incoherence relate to the Uncle Arnold story on
pages 190-191?
Can I recall a time when I experienced incoherence due to an action I took?

Have everyone turn to page 197-198 and follow along as the leader reads three examples
of Incoherence on pages (pick any three) 197-198. Have everyone continue to breathe
because these can be difficult to look at. Then, read the first paragraph on page 192 to
summarize this section.

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Discussion: The Holographic Life

Let participants know that we are bottom lining this section so that they get the
essential principles. Encourage them to reread it on their own, at least two or three times,
so that they see. Leader reads page 193, paragraphs 2 and 3.

Have someone read last sentence on page 195, and then the three bullet points on page
196. Then read the Mother Teresa quote which ends this section (paragraph 2, page 196).

Have participants answer these questions in the group:


Does the luminosity dial referred to on pages 184, paragraph 4 and 186,
paragraph 1 make more sense now that were talking about the holographic life?
What questions do I have about the nature of the holographic life?
How could viewing my own life as a holograph give me more of a sense of ease
and hope?

Discussion: Getting to Coherence

There are two methods presented in this section for leading a Coherent life. The first
method looks at how to get relief from Incoherence. The second method shows how to
experience joy and fulfillment in your life by actively creating Coherence. We encourage
you to use these as ongoing guides. Have people take about three minutes to read this
section (pages 199-201) in silence and then ask for any questions.

If there is time, you might ask a volunteer to talk about something he or she is willing to
do to resolve some Incoherence in his/her life. If you do this, keep it simple and sweet.
Dont go for any big ticket items. It might be something small, like returning that item
they borrowed from work, like pens or paper or a stapler. The point is to acknowledge
that person for their courage and for being willing to get some relief from Incoherence.

Break

Chapter 12

Discussion: The Three Definitions of Grace

Leader says: This chapter is about experiencing grace on our heros journey. You can
review and applied the principles that have been outlined here on an ongoing basis.
Were going over them in this study group to give you a head start on using them to bring
luminosity to life.

Have a participant read out loud the definition of grace beginning on paragraph 2, page
207. Have another participant read paragraphs 1 and 2, page 208. Ask for any questions
or comments from the group. One question you might ask:
Whats useful about having these three definitions?
Are we pointing to something that is necessarily religious, or is it more spiritual?
For this question, go to the definition of spiritual on page 209.

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Discussion: How to Use Spiritual Principles to Create Luminosity

Read the definition of principle in the last paragraph on page 209-210.

It Works if You Work It, but How do You Work It?

Its important to learn how to use spiritual principles in a powerful way. We have here
some principles for using spiritual principles. Its a roadmap, a guideline for insuring
that theyll work when you work them.

There are three of these principles were going to discuss here. They will give us the
greatest success if were clear about how to apply them.

Before you use a spiritual principle, make sure its a principle and not a rule.
Have someone read the difference between a principle and a rule, starting with the
bullet point at the bottom of page 213, and then the next bullet point on the top of
page 214. As for comments about this, applying what they are talking about to
their own lives.
Shift the focus of your attention from responsibility to privilege. This is in
keeping with the 4-Box Model we looked at in Chapter 7. Have someone read the
last paragraph on page 218 and the first paragraph on page 218. Question: what
would it be like to use privilege instead of responsibility for the next 30 days?
Is anyone willing to do this? Write it down if you are. Congratulations!
Cultivate gratitude, the key to grace. Gratitude unlocks our perception of the
Grace that is always surrounding us. It is the key to a luminous life. Weve gone
through all of the work in this book to bring you to this simple exercise. Have
someone read the three bullet points on page 222, as well as the last paragraph on
that page.
Leader: Who is willing to engage in the above practice for the next 30 days?
Congratulations! I promise you that youll experience luminosity in everyday life as
you do this. This will be even clearer to you when, at the end of those 30 days, you
read what youve written

YZ

2009 Academy for Coaching Excellence


Mastering Lifes Energies Book Study Guide

End of Book Study: Acknowledgments

Leader: This brings us to the close of this book study group. Please get into pairs for a
moment.
Spend the next two minutes talking about what you want to acknowledge this
group for. Youve spend time together in a meaningful way. Everyone is a hero.
Weve gone through a lot during this time. What do you appreciate about this
journey?
Have some group members share their bottom lines with everyone.

Leader: Acknowledge the participants by looking into the group and bringing forth what
has been memorable for you. What qualities have they demonstrated during this time? Be
as clear as possible.

YZ

2009 Academy for Coaching Excellence


Mastering Lifes Energies Book Study Guide

2009 Academy for Coaching Excellence


Mastering Lifes Energies Book Study Guide

This booklet has been produced by the


Academy for Coaching Excellence.
All rights reserved.

2009 Academy for Coaching Excellence

2009 Academy for Coaching Excellence

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