Volume 25, Number 4 • July & August 2010 • A publication of the Women’s Community Center of San Luis Obispo

County

Day With
Creative
Women
August 14th  |  Mission Plaza  |  10am - 5 pm
2 Women’s Press Women’s Press July & August 2010

Courtney’s Quill Women’s Press would not be still going

strong, as well as all the other great things Cover Artist
Summer is in full swing, and I’m loving
they do for the community.
Yelena Kozlova
it. My tomatoes are starting to ripen, my Also, a reader sent me in a thought provok-
zucchini is overwhelming my actual love of ing question for this issue’s Voices Around Yelena Kozlova is from Sunnyvale,
squash, and little eggplants are starting to the Table: Do you think the institution of CA in the Bay Area. She’s a
form. My garden is what keeps me refreshed marriage is outdated? I’d love to hear your student at Cal Poly. She was first
every summer, and though I’m no master responses, so please send me them at wom- interested in traditional drawing
gardener, I love how much I learn each year enspress.slo@gmail.com. You can find this and painting, creating beautiful
about the life process of plants. It’s also a months Voices responses on page 18. work that was pleasing to the eye,
good reminder about life in general—birth, but later became attracted to using
growth, mistakes, disease, and eventually And finally, this is our annual creative issue, art as a form of communication and
death. I feel like I understand the universe so please take a look at pages 8 and 9 to see sending a message to the viewer. In
so much more after summer ends. all our great entries. I love receiving all of her work, she combines elements of
this. It makes me realize how many talented traditional fine art and the clarity of
But the end of summer is not near yet, and women and men we have in this commu- design to make the work aesthetically
this summer we at Women’s Press want nity. pleasing while being able to convey a
to remind you once again of Day With clear message. In her poster for the Day
Creative women, being held August 14th Enjoy your summer. Enjoy gardening. Enjoy With Creative Women, she highlights
in Mission Plaza. It is surely a day you watching the life cycle. And please enjoy our the great contributions many talented
don’t want to miss. Please see our spread in women provide to the art field. The
this issue. And come out and support the little Press. event is a wonderful way to showcase
Women’s Community Center, who puts those contributions.
this event on for the community. It’s their
biggest fundraiser, and without the WCC, Courtney Brogno
Women’s Press • Voices, views and visions of the women of San Luis Obispo County, California • 6000 free copies distributed in SLO County • Subscriptions are available

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Volunteers Articles, essays, opinion pieces, letters, artwork, poetry wanted & appreciated. The Women’s Press reserves the right to edit all submissions for content, clarity &
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The Women’s Community Center of San Luis Obispo County, founded in 1974, under the name Women’s Resource Center, exists • to educate,
enlighten, and empower women and their families in San Luis Obispo County by helping them seek new ways to express and develop them-
selves • to be a center for the repository and exchange of information of interest and concern to women through workshops, seminars, classes
and other outlets; • to facilitate communication with other women’s resources both locally and nationally. WCC produces the Women’s Press in
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Women’s Press July & August 2010
What Are Your Lilies?
Got Passion?
By Ruth Cherry, PhD
Years ago I viewed the movie Pay It
Forward in which a teacher assigns the
class a project to make the world better.
One student’s suggestion: Do a favor for
three people, each of whom does a favor
for three more, continuing forever. Last
week I read the book.
Our local author, Catherine Ryan Hyde,
has written more than 15 books, but Pay
It Forward has achieved the greatest
national attention. I started reading her
books when I needed a fiction break from
reality. But her books carried me deeper
into what it means to be a human. Life
(in her books as well as in the world) con-
fronts us with challenge—pain and loss
and disappointment and yearning and
unexpected love. In her books, Hyde
acknowledges these trials and artfully
depicts humans accepting their chal-
lenges. We read about individuals who
find heroic strength within themselves
just by being themselves and doing their
By Inglis Carre’-Dellard, M.F.A.
I am sitting quite still and contemplating
an elegant white calla lily that is sharing a
vase with some other flowers on the table
in front of me. Over the past several days
it has begun to slowly relax its tight green
and white scroll, which still conceals the
glowing yellow rod at its center. I am mes-
merized by the lights and shadows created
by its sensuous folds and the complexity of
its network of fine veins. I love the way it
reaches upward, claiming the space around
it in a dynamic way that commands my eye
to follow its spiral all the way out to the
delicate spur at its apex.
I jump when the phone rings and glance at
the clock. A half hour has passed beyond my
awareness. I had been wrapped in a blanket
of stillness that silenced my yammering
internal voice and drew the flower and I
together into a sacred dimension of awe.
What is it about certain forms, colors,
sounds, and scents that is powerful enough
to make us pause, transcending our ego-self
for a short time so that we can have an
experience of communion? Our intellect
Photo by Marco Michelini can analyze all of the associations, arche-
types, traditions, and symbolism embodied
best every day. We learn about forgiveness lives divide us. Accepting the challenge to
and the courage to move ahead. We see Pay It Forward, I have involved myself in
self-hate transform into self-acceptance small but needed ways in a few acquain-
and then extend into acceptance of those tances’ lives—a ride to the doctor, a trip
who hate. to the grocery store, washing some dishes:
all simple tasks but impossible for the
Not only does Hyde enlighten our current recipients to perform on their own.
situation, she inspires us to be ourselves
more fully. Hyde’s genius lies in the fact In these small acts, I have found comfort
that she does not ask us to reach heights in experiencing my oneness with others.
of accomplishment to further societal It’s not based on acceptance or approval.
goals. She simply asks us to awaken--fully, It’s an acknowledgement of the realiza-
with depth and with presence. She chal- tion that we are in this together. And that
lenges us to live consciously every second, consoles. Any one of us is not alone and
in every decision, in every interaction and our struggles are not singular and incom-
with integrity in our solitude. prehensible. By moving to that basic level
of humanity, I am confirmed. I confirm
Perhaps Pay It Forward touches us because another when I recognize her in her
it is so simple and so immediately appli- humanity. Her human needs, after all, are
cable. Today each of us can do a favor not different from my own.
for someone who needs help. This simple
exercise teaches us that we are all con- I recommend Pay It Forward to anyone
nected, that we share a humanity which who struggles, to anyone who needs to
unites us more than the details of our find meaning in the minutes of her day,
Body & Soul 3
in the white calla lily, but ultimately, we
are left with a mystery, without which our
world would be dull and cold. Each of us
carries within us a vocabulary of images,
sounds colors, and scents that seem to
have the power to transport us into a state
of awe. Perhaps our object of contempla-
tion is acting as a catalyst to bring about an
intimate encounter between our divine core
and the great ocean of divinity that flows all
around and between us.
Think of an ink painting by a Zen master
consisting only of a small bird on an arcing
blade of grass, balanced by a large blank
area. The main content of the painting is
not the bird, but rather the vast emptiness
beyond, into which the bird invites us to
venture, acting as a sort of “guide,” as the
lily was for me. What are your “lilies”?
Inglis Carre’-Dellard, M.F.A. is a Los Osos
artist, teacher, and creativity facilitator. For
information on creative block removal or a free
copy of her creativity newsletter, contact her at
ingartist@yahoo.com or call 805.534.9693.
to any human sensitive to the challenges
of being human. I also recommend it to
anyone wanting to enlarge her experi-
ence in the world. If you have met your
goals in life and are open to being shown
greater depth, this is the book for you.
Want some joy? Pay it Forward. Need
some connection? Pay It Forward. Want
to be more than you’ve ever been? Pay it
Forward. Today and every day. The com-
mitment to live open-heartedly in caring
service will bring a passion to your life
you haven’t imagined.
Ruth Cherry, PhD, is a clinical psychologist
in private practice in San Luis Obispo, CA.
Her specialty is midlife when psychological
and spiritual dynamics merge. Her five books
and guided meditation CD are available at
her web sites, midlifepsychology.com, medita-
tionintro.com, and God-Life-You.com.
4 Body & Soul
Standing In The Stillpoint Of The Opposites
By Barbara Atkinson
“When you make the two one, and when
you make the inner as the outer and the
outer as the inner, and the above as the
below, and when you make the male and
female into a single one — then shall you
enter the Kingdom.” Jesus in the Gospel
of St. Thomas
“The human mind rarely sees beyond
these opposites to the Greater Unity
that necessitates them. But the mind
can awaken to Greater Unity, and in
this lies the purpose of Creation and of
humankind.” Reb Yerachmiel ben Yisrael
Over and over again we hear or read about
the term duality in certain spiritual litera-
ture. Intellectually, we understand what the
word means, but we may not fully internal-
ize its meaning. The unabridged edition of
the Random House Dictionary of the English
Language states that duality (as a state of being
dual) means having a two-fold, or double, char-
acter or nature. Note that in this definition, the
“character or nature” of something is single, one
thing, while dual describes this oneness as being
two-fold. In other words, two sides of the same
coin. Using this metaphor, Life and wholeness,
is the coin, while all the aspects of duality that
we associate with mundane life—right/wrong;
Women’s Press July & August 2010
Photo by Marek Bernat
heaven/earth; perfect/imperfect; good/ bad; whole changes our perception but doesn’t mean our own foibles and pitfalls, to see our whole-
question/answer; me/you; birth/death—are the we are blind to the perception of duality around ness and move out of the mainstream of thought
two sides. us. We acknowledge the emotions of happy and is an act of courage. It’s one thing to intellectu-
sad, the judgments of good and bad, but we no ally get the concept of non-duality--that you
Neither side of the coin of Life makes up the longer align or identify ourselves with either. We are whole now, just as you are. It’s usually quite
whole coin. Yet what do you get when you align and identify ourselves with the Stillpoint another to truly embody that concept by living
acknowledge and combine the two sides? at the center of the opposites, which is Divinely it, and it’s not an end you can work toward;
You get Divine paradox because the sum (the inspired and full of paradox. In this Stillpoint, there is an act of grace involved. Yet this evo-
Stillpoint) is greater than its parts. which accepts each moment as it is, we partic- lution of consciousness is our heritage. It is a
ipate with Life because everything is a part of process as real as the physical evolution of our
Combine right and wrong and you find God, in God, and participates as God. Even so, bodies and brains. Side by side, the physical
Compassion. God is more than the sum of Its parts—Divine and unseen have shared a process of evolution-
Add love and hate and you come to paradox again. The ultimate duality is God/ ary learning—expanding in conscious wisdom
Forgiveness. Self; transform consciousness and this duality and expanding in physical adaptation based on
Combine good and bad and you arrive at becomes a unified whole—you are not separate that consciousness. There is a genetics of con-
Non-judgment. from the Divine, from All That Is. When we sciousness just as real as our physical genetics,
Combine male and female and you achieve pray to something, we pray to that part of our- and this radically effects our awakening process –
Balance. selves of which we are not yet conscious. Standing how we experience Spirit is within the context of
Give your will to Divine Will and you in the Stillpoint, your life can be the prayer. our individuality. Nevertheless, the goal is the
birth Creative Expression. same—to stand in the Stillpoint of the oppo-
Combine hope and despair and you Our usual concept of who we are includes sites, fully accepting ourselves and Life as it is in
discover Trust. duality; this causes struggle as we identify with each moment. This is an act of Love that opens
one side of the coin or another: we are in resis- the door to a lifetime of Love and you have the
Bring Heaven to Earth and you find Peace. tance. Yet, we can make the choice to allow key, now.
The nature of the Divine is couched in this what is and acknowledge Love, the Divine, in
paradox and told in the language of mythol- each moment.* In that Stillpoint we awaken *This isn’t about passivity – clearly you vote for
ogy. This is why we can become befuddled in to the fullness and joy of Life. We continue one or another candidate, may be working towards
our attempt to understand everything with learning as consciousness continues to expand, making the world a more equitable place for all,
the intellect. But with this nature, Spirit is not but we no longer learn through struggle. Our and working to change something in your life. This
captured within one definitive belief system, but purpose is to recognize and accept the whole- is about accepting what is in any given moment
provides for many paths. Regardless of our path, ness of each moment, to remember Spirit in this, even as you work for any desired change.
we honor Spirit by “showing up for Life,” i.e., our sacred and symbolic life. Odd as it sounds,
being present as we accept what is, including there is nothing you need to “do” really, no
all parts of ourselves. We can choose to see only practice, because you are whole now. You are
one side of the coin at any given moment, or wonderful now. Barbara Atkinson can be reached at batkin-
we can begin to see the coin as a whole, in toto, son2@earthlink.net for questions or comments.
and reap the benefits of Divine paradox. The I’m not suggesting this happens with speed and
choice is ours and ours alone. To see Life as a ease, although it can. To look within and accept
Women’s Press July & August 2010
The Heart Way
By Ashley Howard, M.Ed
A friend of mine wrote to me this morning
and started the email out with, “Long
time no news!” This is the same friend
who encouraged me over a month ago to
continue to write even during the times that
I’m less than motivated to do so. My life has
been a whirlwind since the New Year began,
and inspiration to write has been few and
far between. My friend’s friendly reminder
spoke to me this morning, and as a result,
this entry was born.  books called The Four Agreements by Don
Last issue I wrote about falling in love again
with San Luis Obispo (SLO) County and
with myself. In my opinion, falling in love
has got to be the most amazing feeling! I
can recall consistently being in a euphoric
state during my stay in SLO County last
fall. Every moment seemed serendipitous,
life was as easy as the breeze, and opportuni-
ties and new experiences were in abundance!  the waste-side in my recent past. As I write
I can recall feeling and vocalizing that my
heart felt as though I was choosing to leave
SLO County prematurely. Within weeks of
my stay, this county felt like home. My heart
said to stay and my head said to go! My
heart felt at peace, while my head created
a sense of urgency to go, do and see more,
more, more!  that I haven’t written recently. I was still in
After writing for months about what it
means to be living in the stream of life, and
following your heart, I had a brief relapse,
and must admit that I followed my head.
The last few months abroad most definitely
served a purpose, some of which is clear in
this moment and more of which I’m sure
will be revealed in hindsight.  the ‘long time no news.’  When in doubt, remember that your heart
This reminded me of one of my favorite
Miguel Ruiz. One of those four agree-
ments is to be impeccable with our word;
while the others are to always do our best,
to not take anything personally, and to not
make assumptions. Practicing all four agree-
ments on a momentary basis is ideal, though
sometimes simply adopting one of the four
can be a challenge. In my case, all four of
these agreements were practically thrown by
this, I feel as though I’m publicly telling on
myself; however, I know that the lessons
that were learned through this experience
are worth sharing.  that he was referring to, but also in reference tion– that my heart did, in fact, know what
From my past writings, people have told
me that I have been inspiring and educa-
tional. This is precisely one of the reasons
Body & Soul 5
Photo by Janusz Gawron
the heart of the whirlwind. The dust was not ing our ego and emotions (a.k.a. pain body),
settled and hindsight had not yet provided which in my experience have proven to not
any clarity for me to share. I had plenty to be aligned with my true hearts’ desires, and
write about, though my thoughts were not my purpose. 
a reflection of the four agreements that I
was and am actively, and whole heartedly, I hope that this inspires you to continue
pursuing once again. This is the reason for to follow your heart and not your head.
will show you the most efficient and enjoy-
Time is an illusion, and words such as able way; while your mind will show you an
seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, alternate, less easy, and less breezy route! So
months, and years are simply reference points the choice is yours: do you feel like floating,
for all that there really ever is: The Now. or fighting the current through this stream
In this moment, right now, the whirlwind of life? Do you enjoy being immersed in
is over. The dust has settled in my life, and the whirlwind where you can’t see the light
I can see more clearly. I can see that every because you are blinded by the dust? 
experience is, in fact, as it should be and does
serve a purpose whether the experience feels From this moment forward, I hope that you
bitter, sweet, or somewhere in between.  will join me in consciously, and consistently,
choosing what I would like to call, The Heart
One of my dearest friends recently told me Way. Sure, there may be relapses along the
that his heart knew what his mind could way, but we all know that the experiences
not yet comprehend. I found his statement that stem from a relapses serve a purpose
to be quite profound not only in the context too. In this case, the purpose was confirma-
to life in general. It is my belief that our my mind could not yet comprehend.
heart is guided by our spirit, and our spirit
is guided by our Creator who ultimately
knows best. Our mind, on the other hand, is
influenced by many external factors includ- www.body-temple.com
6 Body & Soul Women’s Press July & August 2010

Going with the Flow

Photo by Ivan Vicencio

By Laura V. Grace language, but the “Way” seems to be one Where do you need to “get yourself out of tend to resort to shallow breathing. Breath,
translation. According to the Tao, life is the way?” In what area(s) of your life are being the life force that flows through us, is
“Follow the Tao and live in harmony. dynamic, not stagnant; life is like a river, you blocking the natural flow of life? When a precious gift.
constantly flowing and forming new currents do you feel you’re pushing too hard, or,
Cultivate character and develop your and patterns. To follow the Tao is to be fluid perhaps, preventing yourself from receiving The 29th verse of the Tao states:
highest potential. and flow with the current, like a river. the opportunities or resources the universe
wants you to have? “…Trying to control leads to ruin. Trying to
Te and Tao are the way of life. There is a flow and cycle for all things grasp, we lose.
Abandon either and the Tao including life itself: birth, death, and For example, when I’m not allowing life to Allow your life to unfold naturally. Know
abandons you.” rebirth. Emotions, creativity, and our bodies flow through me, I might sit down to write that it too is a vessel of perfection.
all have their own cycle, too. In the world, only to end up with paragraphs of ideas that Just as you breathe in and breathe out, there
– 23rd verse from the Tao te Ching signs direct us on our way in life. Traffic I eventually delete. The deadline may be is a time for being behind;
lights tell us to walk (or not), geese fly south tomorrow and not even the first paragraph a time for being in motion and a time for
In many spiritual treatises, mostly written ushering in the coming winter, and our soul is written. If frustration surfaces for a length being at rest;
A few times a week while walking to my urges us to follow its calling in any given of time, I know it’s time to get up from a time for being vigorous and a time for
favorite café, I have the privilege of crossing moment. We know how to read these signs my desk and take a long walk, preferably being exhausted….”
paths with someone who resembles a wise of nature, weather, and spirit; they help to barefoot, along the beach. And often, after
Native American elder. This woman pos- guide us on our journey. an hour of listening to the crashing waves, Trust that you are connected to a divine
sesses the look of infinite peace within her feeling the salt air against my face and the flow that is leading you to higher ground.
eyes and face. When I ask her, “How are I am currently experiencing a “soul shift,” sand beneath my feet, I’m refreshed and There’s no need to push, and there’s no
you today?” she always smiles serenely and and it’s something I’ve experienced at every inspired. Back at the computer, my fingers need to rush. Imagine how much simpler
replies, “I’m going with the flow.” turning point or meaningful passage in my type, the words flow, and the task before me your life would be if you trusted that every-
life. When we allow ourselves to sink into is successfully completed. thing that is happening are guideposts along
“Going with the flow, hmmm...” This is the natural rhythm of life, we know it. We a path that is naturally true and correct.
something that is difficult for some of us feel more connected with our soul, more Most often than not, we need to get quiet Remember that you deserve to feel aliveness
because there are times when we struggle alive, even though the changes we are experi- so the natural flow of life can move through and harmony in your life and that requires
maintaining our peace of mind, keeping our encing may be challenging. This reminds me us. Spending time in nature and practic- being in the flow.
balance, and feeling connected to our higher of the uplifting movie The Legend of Bagger ing deep breathing can be very effective in
selves. With a myriad of external diversions Vance. Although the golfer, Randolph (Matt getting centered and becoming grounded.
confronting us from every direction, flowing Damon), believes he has “lost his swing,” The word te in the Tao te Ching may be
with our soul’s natural rhythm and with the his caddie, Bagger, who also represents his translated as “nature” and Lao Tzu looked Laura V. Grace is the Spiritual Leader for
universal current can be very challenging, higher self (Will Smith), reminds him that to nature as the ultimate example of how to the Circle of Spiritual Enlightenment in
indeed. he could get it back if he would only stop be in the flow. San Luis Obispo (www.spiritualcircle.org),
trying so hard and let it flow naturally. This, an interfaith spiritual community. Laura is
It has been said that the Tao te Ching of Lao he pointed out, was how he would experi- Getting grounded allows you to receive also a teacher and spiritual director, and a
Tzu is one of the most frequently translated, ence his “authentic swing,” the swing that is the energetic flow of love and support that member of Spiritual Directors International.
widely read, and deeply cherished books desirous of finding him (not the other way is yours to have. It enables you to remain A syndicated columnist for more than twenty
in the world. It has been said that the Tao around); the very swing that is inside all of us balanced and fully present. It also teaches publications, Laura has penned 200 articles on
possesses the answer to every single one of and connects us to one another. Bagger’s wise you how to become aware of your own spiritual growth and is the author of the books
life’s challenges and questions. The word advice encouraged Randolph to remember natural cycles of energy. When we’re caught Gifts of the Soul and The Intimate Soul.
tao has no similar relation to a word in our one simple truth: to get himself out of the way. up in “pushing” to “make things happen” we
Women’s Press July & August 2010 Body & Soul 7

Nurturing Wabi Sabi

By Jeanie Greensfelder 1400’s when Murata Shuko, a Zen priest, to smile at my flaws and those of others,
changed the traditional tea service from gold value fleeting moments, and attend to life’s
Ring the bells that still can ring. and jade to simple wood and clay. stages of birth, aging and death.

Forget your perfect offering. Today the Japanese tea ceremony captures The words wabi sabi feel like good company,
There is a crack, a crack in everything. the wabi sabi spirit when cherished, aged fun to think and say. Most of us have
pots and cups are used. Friends sit and sip, favored cups, worn and beloved clothing,
That’s how the light gets in. share stories of imperfect lives, take time to objects from childhood, and other valuables
— Leonard Cohen connect with one another, and remember that are simple, modest, and mysterious in
that life is uncertain. their appeal. They can become symbols and
My sister Ginny introduced me to wabi sabi, reminders.
the Japanese tradition that values the beauty In our hectic consumer culture, noticing
of imperfection. My sister smiled and said, and nurturing wabi sabi provides balance. Notice and nurture the precious imper-
“Now when we look in the mirror, we can fections intrinsic to life. Take time to
say, ‘Wabi sabi!’” Even in Japan wabi sabi has been compro- connect with people, places and things that
mised by a corporate style of beauty that are meaningful to you. Most important,
Wabi suggests rustic simplicity and sabi the ignores the polarities of life and mortality. treasure yourself.
beauty that comes with age. With origins in
ancient Chinese Tao and Buddhism, wabi Developing a wabi sabi attitude and seeing
Photo by Ali Farid sabi shaped Japanese culture in the late the beauty in imperfection, I’m encouraged http://www.dancinginthefootstepsofeve.com

Spirituality Matters
Living In the Moment
By Heather Mendel
As we watch, seemingly powerless, at what
greed and corporate insensitivity does in
the ongoing tragedy in the Gulf, we have a
perfect opportunity of rethinking our own
vision for the planet and the human family
and realize the power of our thoughts. I
would like to share the some of the ideas I
received a few weeks ago in an email of the
message from the Indigenous Grandmothers,
an esteemed council of 13 holy elders repre-
senting diverse prayer lineages around the
world:
“You are desperately needed now. We ask
you to cast, anchor, and hold the Net
of Light steady for the Gulf of Mexico.
This crisis is affecting the entire world,
and humanity is asleep. Wake up!
Animals are dying, plants are dying,
and your Mother is writhing in agony.
If you hold the Net of Light steady at
this time you will help stave off further
catastrophe. You have been lulled into a
false sleep, having been told that others
will take care of this problem. This is
not so. And this is not the time for you
to fall into oblivion. Determine now to
stay awake, and once you have made
that commitment, think of, cast, and
hold the Net of Light— hold it deep
and wide. Amplify its reach to pen-
etrate the waters of the Gulf and dive
deep beneath the crust of Mother Earth.
Anchor it at the earth’s core and as you
hold it there, ask it to unify with the
mineral kingdom of this planet.
It will do this and will harmonize with
all the solid and liquid mineral states on
earth-including oil and gas. The Net of
Light will call these minerals back into
harmony. Whatever human beings have
damaged, human beings must correct.
This is the law. You cannot sit back and
ask God to fix the mess humanity has
created. Each of you must throw your
shoulders to the wheel and work. We are
asking for your help. Step forward now.
This is the Net of Light that will hold
the earth during the times of change
that are upon you. First move into your
heart and call on us. We will meet you
there. The Net of Light is lit by the
jewel of your heart, so move into this
lighted place within you and open to
the Net of which you are a part. Bask in
its calming presence. It holds you at the
same time that you hold it. Now think
of magnifying your union with us.
We, the Great Council of the
Grandmothers, are with you now, and
all those who work with the Net of
Light are also with you. There are thou-
sands, even millions now connected
in light. Along with this union, call
forth the power of the sacred places on
earth. These will amplify the potency
of our joint effort. Then call on the
sacred beings that have come to prevent
the catastrophe that threatens to over-
whelm your planet. We will work
together. Think of, cast and magnify
the presence of the Net of Light in the
Gulf of Mexico. See, imagine or think
of it holding the waters, holding the
land, the plants, the sea life, and the
people, holding them all.
The Net of Light is holding them
steady; it is returning them to balance.
Let the love within your lighted heart
keep pouring into the Net of Light and
hold, hold, hold. Calmly and reverently
watch as the light from your heart flows
along the strands of the Net. It will
follow your command and continuously
move forth. As soon as you think of it,
it will happen. We ask you to practice
this for only a few minutes at a time,
but to repeat it throughout the day and
night. We promise that this work with
the Net of Light will do untold good.
We are calling you to service now. You
are needed. Do not miss this opportu-
nity. We thank you and bless you.”
We can choose to watch, silent and
powerless from the sidelines, or step
forward to be part of a movement that
will make a difference. The choice is
ours. 
L’shalom
In peace
http://www.dancinginthefootstepsofeve.com
http://www.wordartist.com 
http://sacredfemininematters.blogspot.com/
http://twitter/celebratingeve
8 Day With Creative Women
This year marks the 36th year
of Day with Creative Women,
sponsored by the Women’s
Community Center of San Luis
Obispo County and joined
this year, by the SLO County
Commission on the Status
of Women. Applications for a
vendor booth are now available
and space is filling up fast!
Visit wccslo.org on the web and click
on “Creative Women” to download
the application form. If you do not
have access to the Internet, please
call 544-9313 and leave your name and
mailing address so we can send an ap-
plication to you. WCC welcomes the
return of our regular vendors this year
and looks forward to meeting new
creative women who are joining us for
the first time! At press time, the fol-
lowing vendors have already registered
for this signature event:
copper wire dragonflies by
margie ashley
handmade vintage style jewelry by
barbara millburn
handcrafted jewelry and bead
work by susie reese of firelight
creations
hand blown glass art by diane
miller of lucky ducks
wire art jewelry and crocheted
water bottle covers by
pamela newman of harmony
creative designs
wickless candles, offered by
sandy walton
fused glass yard art and jewelry by
rosi lusardi
jewelry by marilyn dannehower of
mad dreams designs
a woman owned mobile car
mechanic – julie polak
and margot silk forrest’s
ever popular sassy feet shoe
embellishments and custom
painted shoes
Day With
Creative Women
Music is always a large part of this event.
Opening the fabulous entertainment
lineup will be the fabulous Motown-
ers, a local Cayucos group who love their
music! Cheryl Aiona, the lead singer with
her very powerful natural contralto, is a
Hawaiian who grew up in the Bay Area.
Listen to the harmonies of their female
singers, known as the Wall of Women, or
WOW! Returning to the Mission Plaza
amphitheater stage for a repeat perfor-
mance will be the Central Coast Celebra-
tion Chorus, an a cappella women’s four
part harmony choral group that encour-
ages community participation as they sing
in the Barbershop tradition, the “Fun
Flutes”, led by Bonnie Richan, and our
own local drumming group, led by Kath-
leen Deragon.
The music turns to jazz with pianist
Dawn Lambeth, whose specialty is dance-
able music, and who has performed at the
Monterey Jazz Festival, the New Orleans
Jazz and Heritage Festival, the Smithsonian,
and clubs throughout California. The after-
noon line up also includes Maheyla and the
Ritual, performing a wide variety of roots
and genre music, Middle Eastern belly
dance and world music performers, and a
duo of Steel Drums.
Saturday, August 14th 2010
M ission P laza
10:00 am – 5:00 pm
Long time attendees of this event will
remember Francesca Nemko, who returns to
perform her inimitable style of spoken jazz
with bass accompaniment, and rounding out
the afternoon is Swing and Rock music band
Chick Tuesday, led by singer Buffy Doran.
Day with Creative Women provides an
opportunity for women artists and artisans
to display their talents and sell their wares.
This event has graced the Mission Plaza in
San Luis Obispo on the second Saturday in
August for the last 36 years. If you create
art or hand-crafted items, you are invited
to display and sell your works. Non-profit
organizations are invited to provide the
community with information about their
services. Business women interested in pro-
moting their services may also secure a spot
for this celebration of all types of creative
women. Booths are still available but are
disappearing fast! If you want to be part of
this event, call the Women’s Community
Center now at 544-9313 or download the
application from wccslo.org/
Day with Creative Women is a fundraising
event to benefit the Women’s Community
Center of San Luis Obispo County, dedi-
cated to the empowerment of women, and
Women’s Press July & August 2010
the SLO County Commission on the
Status of Women, serving as the voice for
women to the County Board of Supervisors.
For more information, check the website
http://www.wccslo.org, call 805-544-9313,
or email wccslo@gmail.com.
As with all major events open free to the
public, lots of volunteer work is needed
behind the scenes to make the event a
success. WCC also welcomes your help
as a volunteer – either now as we make all
the arrangements and also on the day of
the event itself. Volunteers are needed to
staff entrances and direct traffic, relieve
the vendors as necessary, staff the WCC
able, act as runners and troubleshooters,
and lots more! Volunteers get a T-shirt to
help people recognize them if there is a
problem during the day.
Women’s Press July & August 2010
faces
By KH Solomon
I met her first along a darkened beach,
her softly shining face seen through the mist
as she cast silver highlights on the sea.
Since then I’ve come to know her manifest
and learned her many names,
and I have seen and seen her face again
in the faces of her daughters.
I have seen her in the pink-haired girl
in trendy clothes who fends off
oppressions of teen life
long enough to work hard
at things her own
— poetry and singing —
for it is her season of the waxing crescent.
I have seen her in a woman’s
child-like sense of awe
welling up raw and unrestrained
before nature’s grand or strong,
or merely exquisite,
the sites of our forbearers,
the holy or the plain.
I have seen her in the sea-nymph
stepping from the blue with hair slicked back,
salt water running down her form,
with glistening breasts and nipples taut,
her smile and joy infectious — wild.
She is at once the epiphany of life
and its creatrix.
I have seen her in a nurse’s passion
taking on another’s hurt
to share, perhaps dilute their pain,
and in her anguish
for each human soul that lies submerged
beneath a tangled mind,
and in the silent tears that later come.
I have seen her in a mother’s love
and in the giving, always giving —
first birth and suck,
then lessons, setting limits —
finally freedom
and push if need be,
to become the new.
I have seen her in the teacher
who shapes young minds
with scissors and colored paper,
and spins webs
of nascent community in the corners
of playground games
and reading groups.
Day With Creative Women 9
PENITENT
By Jeanie Greensfelder
Seed! Teeth holes in the bird feed—
a delicious day turns to turmoil.
I shift from being benign to murder.
At the check-out counter, the woman
commiserates, offers her two cats.
Artwork by Patti Sullivan
Tonight I feel my green friends,
who raise kale, cabbage and cucum-
THE SENSUAL NATURE OF TREES bers,
who compost and bake flax-laced
By Barbara Atkinson crackers,
play You could’ve, You should’ve
A gentle rustling breeze as I lie awake thinking of the mouse
Breathing in my ear. who thought he’d found heaven
Singing an aroma,
A whisper I can hear.
The tenderest of lovers I SAW YOU...
Caressing with their leaves;
The rites of Spring’s flirtations By Ginny Conrow
Gently tugging at my sleeve.
Driving into town, I saw you, this morning,
Long and stretched to greet them, a woman peddling her heart out:
My body as a loom; white, lumpy thighs,
Trees weave their mysteries round me plain helmet,
In nature’s undulating womb. inexpensive bike.
A good half course behind the sleek,
the muscular,
I have seen her in my lover’s eyes, the swift, the experienced riders,
eyes that have shared the visions of our lives, you peddled on,
of children grown and married, and I blessed you in my heart.
grandchildren born and growing,  
eyes that just now From my kitchen window, I saw you,
beckon me late this afternoon,
and promise. your stride was painful,
determined,
I have seen her in the woman slow,
who’s bared her breast to knives, barely a jog/walk.
her skull to poisons — The bored high school volunteers at our gate
but tonight who walks for life merely glanced your way, thankful to be
round a candle-lit track, relieved of their
pushing before her lonely post at the furthest station
the wheelchair of a sister. from the finish line.
I blessed you in my heart.
I have seen her in the poet  
speaking sounds and images From my deck, I saw you, on the dirt road,
that seduce the mind, a single mile to go.
suspend the intellect, Noticeably absent were the fans,
so we listen the volunteers offering water,
with our hearts and fellow triathletes.
as she tells pieces of her own. Alone, yet brave, you persevered,
virtually unnoticed.
I met her first along a darkened beach, But, I saw you. I blessed you
her softly shining face seen through the mist and thanked you from my heart;
as she cast silver highlights on the sea. grateful for your gift to me of...
And I have seen and seen her face again courage.
in the faces of her daughters.
 10 4251 S. Higuera Street, Suite 800, San Luis Obispo, CA 93401 | 805 544-9313
Calling All
(or most) Used
Tech Equipment
By Robin Rinzler
Our newest fundraiser involves collect-
ing items that would otherwise pollute
our landfills. These items listed below
will bring money to The Women’s
Community Center, and will be recycled
properly or fixed and resold. Don’t throw
these in the trash, call us now and see if
we can turn them into much needed cash
for the WCC!
THE MISSION
OF THE WCC IS:
• TO maintain an accessible center to
collect and exchange information of
interest and concern to women
• TO organize and facilitate work-
shops, clinics, seminars, classes, and
support groups on subjects of interest
and need
• TO engage in and facilitate interac-
tion among local, state, and national
agencies and organizations working
to benefit women
•
•
Cell phones
Ink Jet Printer Cartridges
• Laptops & Notebooks
• MP3 Players
• Digital Cameras (still & video)
•
•
•
Radar Detectors
GPS Devices
Radar Detectors
• Kindle & Sony Book Readers
These items can be working or not,
damaged or not. Drop off your item
or items at the Women’s Community
Center, 4251 S. Higuera Street (where
Los Osos Valley Road dead ends into
S. Higuera Street) and we can turn
that into $$ for our many projects!
Call 544-9313 if you have any questions!
Thanks for your support!
Women’s Community Center
BETTER
Supervised Visitation
Building Enduring Ties That
Enrich Relationships
Our newest project and one we are very
proud to offer to the San Luis Obispo
County is the BETTER Supervised
Visitation Program. We provide trained
Supervision Monitors for non-custo-
dial parents on a sliding scale with fees as
low as $10 per hour, allowing children to
spend good quality time with their non-
custodial parent.
A Nomination
By Robin Rinzler
Sonia Paz Baron Vine joined the Women’s
Community Center in 2008 and has
been a valuable asset to the organization.
She and her two children, Tatiana and
Dmitri, have helped with our Day With
Creative Women, both in the planning
and implementation of the event, making
sure that it was a huge success. She vid-
eotaped and posted to the WCC blog
the Day With Creative Women as well
as our Christmas party. She has acted as
a translator for our Pro Per Clinic and
put in too many hours to count in our
office, answering phones and working on
the computer. She has contributed to the
Family Law
Action Committee
Dealing With Divorce
3rd Wednesday of each month – 7 PM
Jan 20, Feb 17 and Mar 17
$10 donation
Self-Represented Litigants’ Clinic
4th Tuesday of each month – 5:30 PM
Upcoming:
Jan 26, Feb 23 and Mar 23
Reservations required.
$40 donation
Women’s Press in articles and poems, and
has created the wccslo.blogspot.com web
page for the WCC.
Through her foundation, Mellow Swan,
she has adopted children from Russia,
victims of Chernobyl, and saw to it that
they received the medical attention they
needed. It is for this and other selfless
contributions that she has been nomi-
nated for the Isabel P Ruiz Humanitarian
Award. We are very hopeful that Sonia
will be recognized for her outstand-
ing humanitarian accomplishments and
honored with this prestigious award.
Women’s Press July & August 2010 Motherhood 11

San Luis Birthing Surprise

Photo by Joan Kocur

By Renee Sante` women will have a choice of how they use It has also given women the creative pos- to need interventions, and therefore safer for
that money. They can choose to have a sibility of how to birth; water births have mother and child.
Certified Nurse Midwife attend them in become an option and a norm at many
There have been some exciting new devel- a hospital or at a birth center. This doesn’t birthing centers now. There is an aesthetic With her husband, she has begun the
opments recently in our town which just represent more freedom for women to value (light, color, beauty, sound, aromas, remodel of a 3,000 square foot facility in
will broaden the choices for women and choose the birth they want, it also repre- privacy) that is important to the well-being the San Luis Business Park. “We are excited
families. A long-standing desire by mothers sents a huge cost savings to the Medicaid of the mother, which has come from home to be a part of bringing this to our town.”
and midwives is coming to fruition: a new budget. The average hospital birth with a births and has inspired the transformation She has opened the facility up to midwives,
birth center is in the works at the San Luis doctor costs approximately $20,000. It sky of hospital birthing spaces. practitioners, and educators. There will
Business Center where Higuera meets Los rockets to $60,000 for cesarean section. The be a library, living room, kitchen, three
Osos Valley Road. Dr. Tiffany Dietrich and average cost at a birth center is $5000. If Dr Tiffany Dietrich has come to our com- birth suites with birthing tubs, as well as
Edana Hall are teaming up to provide what only 5% of women choose this option it will munity from Washington with a background a classroom and office space. It will be a
is essential to healthy birthing for mother mean millions of dollars each year saved. in midwifery and as a naturopathic physi- family-friendly space where all can partic-
and child with all the comforts and warmth cian. She has been practicing at birth centersipate at whatever level they choose. They
of home. Edana Hall has been practicing mid- for 10 years and feels that the time has come are currently planning a fundraiser for
wifery in SLO county for 26 years. She is a for our community to embrace this effort. August and a grand opening the beginning
In researching the trend in birth, Jennifer Licensed Midwife and a CPM at a national “We have 15 freestanding birth centers in of September, 2010. The combined efforts
Stover, President of the Birth & Baby level. As a midwife, she believes“we get to the state of California. The mission of the of many from our community are working
Resource Network, says, “For the 20 years nurture the mothers, help them nurture San Luis Birth Center is to provide care and to build this long-hoped for facility. If you
that I have worked in our community as a their children, teach them about nutrition, support to women and their families in the would like to be a part of the effort, there
doula and birth educator, I have heard over become an intimate part of the family life, areas of pregnancy, birth, childbirth, educa- will be a wish list on the upcoming website:
and over from expectant moms, ‘Why don’t and provide a continuity of health care from tion, doula services, breastfeeding support, sanluisbirthcenter.com.
we have a birth center here? I’m not confi- prenatal to postpartum. There is a closeness parenting classes, and holistic health care.
dent to birth at home but I don’t really want which forms with the families that in turn We envision a center where the primary
to go to the hospital either. I would love to sparks a connection with other mothers in goal is to provide safe and conscientious
birth at a birth center.’” In her recent article the community. The quality of care extends care through both education and commu- Renee Sante` renesante@gmail.com For
for the New Times, Jennifer researched far beyond labor and birth.” nity outreach programs, “she believes. In more information you can call 548-0606. And
the cost of birth and the how that will be her experience in birthing centers, “women see photos of the lovely birth suites at Andluz
impacted with the Health Care Reform Bill Having had Edana’s expertise at both my choose the smaller, more intimate spaces” to get an idea of the aesthetics at
just signed by Pres. Obama. children’s homebirths and the friendship to labor in. When the mother is relaxed, www.waterbirth.net
that’s grown over 22 years, I can say that secure, and has privacy, then birth flows in a
Did you know that 42% of all births in the midwifery brings a dimension of compassion natural way. It make labor easier, less likely
US are paid for through Medicaid? Now and warmth that I will cherish for a lifetime.
12 Local Perspectives
Unsung Heroine
Sarah Rudd-Lawlor
Facilitating
Inter-generational
Mentoring
By Berta Parrish
There are some pretty awesome Bigs with
some equally wonderful Littles. Plus, there
are fantastic staff members who recruit,
train, screen, pair, and assist them. Then,
there are the dedicated volunteers and
donors who support all of them in so many
essential ways. Fortunately, there is the com-
mitted and energetic Sarah Rudd-Lawlor
who encourages, inspires, and manages
everyone. These people come together at
the award-winning Big Brothers Big Sisters
(BBBS) of San Luis Obispo County, a
fabulous youth mentoring organization.
Starting as a volunteer, then as a Program
Specialist, Sarah became Program Director
in 2007. Naturally, she is also a Big Sister.
“Spending time with my Little brought back
memories of the people who believed in me
and lifted me up,” she explains. “I wanted to
do that for someone else. In addition, being
with my Little helps me focus on the little
Women’s Press July & August 2010
On Becoming
60
By Linda Smith
This year I turn 60, and as I look in
the mirror, I wonder where did all the
years go? Forty came and went, then
50, and now 60. Jeez, I didn’t notice
those gray hairs there before; where
did they come from? And those extra
pounds? Is that really me?
So what if my young girlfriends dress
up in skimpy cocktail dresses to go
to the movie to see Carrie and her
friends in “Sex and the City.” That
doesn’t hurt my feelings one bit;
instead I’ll slip on my robe, grab a
mug of hot chocolate, turn on the TV,
and watch Betty White in a rerun of
the “Golden Girls.”
For my birthday, my daughter gave
me a copy of What We Know So Far:
Wisdom Among Women. This book
follows my reading over the decades
of books like It’s Only Too Late If You
Don’t Start Now: How to Create Your
Second Life after 40 and Fifty on Fifty:
Wisdom, Inspirations and Reflections
on Women’s Lives Well Lived. What’s
with the “well-lived” at only age
50? My aunt Willow Mae in South
Carolina lived to be 103 – now that’s
things, the most important things in life.” at relating to their parents and peers. But well-lived!
most of all, they love having a special friend
Big Brothers Big Sisters of SLO County serves who is just for them!” Congrats, 60 and retired. Well, now I
an important need for boys and girls between can get that long awaited Senior Club
the ages of 6-18 as well as offering a rewarding The future of both BBBS and Sarah looks Card over at Home Town Buffet, but
experience for adults. Its mission is to help very promising. The community continues that retired part, hmmm… Whoever
children reach their full potential through to generously support BBBS through fund- said that a woman retires, should have
one-to-one, professionally supported, and raisers such as this summer’s Big Event Wine said that a woman “tires.” I wonder
safe mentoring. Since 1995, over 1300 children Tasting and Auction, Golf for Youth Classic, where I put that bottle of Geritol?
have been involved in a mentoring relation- and British Invasion concert. Always seeking
ship or in one of the school-based programs. personal as well as professional improvement, So time to get some hair coloring,
At Sinsheimer and Nipomo Elementary Sarah is working toward a Masters Degree jump on that Thigh Master, and
Schools, high school and college students in Public Policy from Cal Poly, specializing swing by Victoria Secret. Seventy is
mentor pupils during weekly supervised activ- in social policy and community responsibil- not that far off!
ities and at alternative high schools, mentors ity. Knowing the immense benefits of having
guide students through employability skills a mentor, she plans to intern with a Cuesta
training and career shadowing. College instructor next fall.
Linda Smith is retired and lives and
As Program Director, Sarah has lots of Every since moving here from the Bay Area plays in San Luis Obispo. Like Erma
warm and fuzzy stories: “It’s a time to be in 2005, Sarah feels that it has been “one Bombeck, she believes that “If you can
a kid again for the Bigs. Go for an adven- positive, amazing thing after another.” At laugh at it, you can live with it”.
ture. Be playful. Rediscover activities that the same time, she has facilitated many
you loved as children and share them with positive, amazing things for the youth,
someone now. The Littles,” she adds, “get schools, volunteers, and the communities in
better at school and at decision making and our county.
Women’s Press July & August 2010 Local Perspectives 13

Going to the the bus from Pittsburg last night; it seems veil. I tried jabbing my elbow into his ribs to anniversary of our meeting. In two years, we

Chapel
By Kathy Bond
September 29th 1962, 10:30 a.m. We marry
in a gray stone gothic cathedral two football
fields long in New York City. Bishop Horace
W. B. Donegan stands at the high altar
looking resplendent in cope and miter.
Choir boys sing and the state trumpets
startle people when they emanate from the
back of the building.
Jeremy and I met two years ago at a birthday
party at the General Theological Seminary
in Manhattan. We had a New York City
courtship, our schools across town on
two different rivers. Today, I meet my two
bridesmaids and maid of honor in Jeremy’s
office to dress. I’d brought the borrowed
gown to the cathedral earlier in the week.
Our wedding day dawned brightly. Indian
summer had arrived in the city. It may
swelter later; for now we enjoy cool air.
My bridegroom called at 7 a.m. to locate the On our first walk as newlyweds, Jeremy
sewing box. His younger brother Brian rode took my arm and inadvertently snagged my Looking back, this October marks the 50th
he split his pants seam. loosen his grip. It didn’t work. We recessed
as a sweet-looking couple, my head on his
I’d stayed with friends on Riverside Drive shoulder.
celebrate our Golden Wedding Anniversary.
Time flew with the speed of a humming-
bird’s wings, but details remain etched
for the last two weeks. I’d worked nights in memory as clearly as autumnal light.
the month before, and the school adminis- We ate lunch in a dining room at the We had three children, survived a fire and
tration chose that time to paint our dorm Cathedral House. I didn’t eat much since I a flood, moved seven times, returned to
rooms. I rode the subway to 110th Street, still felt nervous about the large wedding. school, changed jobs, and spent 25 years in
and slept in our apartment during the day, My family didn’t go in for big celebrations. one community. Those children grew up,
while Jeremy worked at St. John the Divine. Jeremy tells me we had cupcakes because married, and had children of their own. One
We ate dinner together. Then he drove me as recently-graduated students, we couldn’t of our children died.
through Central Park to Bellevue, so I could afford a wedding cake. We changed and
finish my student hours. then prepared to leave on our honeymoon. I view today’s photos and see our gray hair
and wrinkles. Last spring, I told our 18-year
My father makes it to the service. He’d
We’d paid a dollar for a pale blue 1950’s old granddaughter that I met her grandfa-
missed my official graduation ceremony four
Plymouth sedan with a solenoid problem. ther at her age. She and her friend looked
months earlier when he got stuck in traffic.
The car came from a seminary profes- speechless. The locales may have changed
For our wedding we had a standby waiting
sor, essentially a gift. The dollar satisfied from New York to California, with a
to give me away, just in case. legal registration requirements. Starting 40-year hiatus in central Pennsylvania, but
it involved Jeremy popping the hood and the central characters feel the same inside as
I remember making our vows, looking jumping said solenoid. they did then.
directly into Jeremy’s eyes as we did. We
knelt during the Eucharist, and proceeded Our family, friends, and wedding party had I told her that one day she may tell her
out to Handel’s Water Music, originally assembled to send us off. We had a Vermont grandchildren the same thing.
written for Henry VIII to ride the royal farm destination, and the car a hole in the
barge down the Thames. flywheel, so the group probably said a few And I tell others about the perils of going to
more prayers for us. birthday parties.

Imagine That Nothing Stands in Your Way...

By Adele Sommers
If asked about your greatest obstacle to
business or professional success, would you
say, “funding”? I often suspect that our
finances aren’t our greatest barriers, but
perhaps imagination and insight are.
For example, if you currently have a business
plan that was written to attract seed money,
how useful is the content? Many plans are
static, formal documents that are meant to
impress potential financial backers, but do
not necessarily serve as living, breathing
roadmaps. And if you already have sufficient
funding, should you skip the business plan
altogether?
For either situation, below are seven essential
exercises to contemplate. You can incorpo-
rate the answers into a traditional business
plan, or create an adaptable slide presenta-
tion that powerfully communicates your
business vision to others.
1. What are your “business success
criteria”? Do you have a crystal clear
idea of the types of business undertak-
ings that align with your gifts, talents,
passions, and strengths?
2. Do you know who your target audience
is? Do you know which audiences are
best suited to, or are already seeking,
what you plan to offer?
3. Who are your competitors, compa-
rables, and potential collaborators?
Competitors consist of other companies
currently offering the same or similar
products or services, companies that
could offer the same or similar products
or services in the future, and also com-
panies that could remove the need for
your products or services. If you have
no close competitors, look for compara-
ble businesses offering similar products
or services in related industries. If they osition (USP)? Do you know how to
produce complementary wares, they convey the benefits of your products
might become affiliates or collaborators. and services?
4. Do you know your Strengths, In conclusion, once you’ve completed these
Weaknesses, Opportunities, and exercises, you’ll have a powerful business
Threats? You can determine the internal manifesto. It will contain a set of guiding
factors under your control (your principles to inspire financial backers and
business strengths and weaknesses) prospective employees, partners, or clients.
and external factors (opportunities and
threats) via a “SWOT analysis.”
5. Is your business navigating in a highly
competitive ocean? Are you planning to Adele Sommers, Ph.D. is a business perfor-
do business in a domain already filled mance consultant who helps entrepreneurs
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14 Local Perspectives Women’s Press July & August 2010

Photo by Aleksandra P.

The Case Of The

were all the same basic style. I pulled two Feeling proud of myself and my appear- feet are stuck in your pants, you can’t fall
pair, different sizes, off the racks —two ance, I didn’t hesitate. These babies were gracefully. So, you thud.
sizes, because, as the young mother of four mine! Did I mention ‘premature smugness?’

Controlling Pants children, the size I wore varied by style and

sometimes by how much chocolate I had
consumed in the last month or so.
Unsnapped, the pants refused to make the
return journey down my body. Here I was,
in a dressing room with the spanking new
As I lay on the floor, moaning in pain, the
cramp gradually eased. I sat up and managed
to tug the pants off one foot and then the
By Judythe A. Guarnera blue jeans stuck tight to my body. other, all the while hoping that no one had
In the dressing room I slid my shoes off, heard the thud.
I took a speech class at City College when slipped out of my skirt, and stepped into the I can do this. I just need to do everything in
I was in my 40’s. All the students in the first pair of pants. They were barely over my reverse. I took another deep breath and Did I buy those pants? They did fit and
class appeared to be in their teens or early ankles when they refused to go any further. sucked in my stomach again. I wouldn’t say they did look good, but was I willing to go
twenties. I wanted to tell a funny story, but Since I consider myself a realist, I knew I the pants slid down, but I was able to wiggle through that kind of a struggle each time
wasn’t sure if what I saw as funny would had about as much a chance of reaching the them down past my tummy and hips. I wore them? And what if they shrank and
connect with these young people and make end goal of buttoning them around my waist got even tighter? Should I try a larger size
them laugh. Appreciation of humor seems so as I did of being the first woman astronaut Little did I realize that the battle had just which might be easier to get on and off, but
generational. on the moon. I managed to get the pants off begun. The material had bunched around wouldn’t look good when they stretched and
without too much difficulty, since they had my calves and would go no further. As I sagged?
Perplexed as to what topic I should choose, rebelled at the beginning of their journey. tried to bend over and tug the pant legs from
an incident provided the fodder for what I the bottom, my leg began to cramp; that put By then, thoroughly humiliated and
hoped would be my funny story. I was not The second larger pair made it past my a halt to my efforts for a few uncomfortable depressed, I donned my skirt, hung the
one of those women who had to have a ankles with ease. Encouraged, I straight- minutes. offenders back on the rack, and slunk out
regular fix of shopping on a regular basis. I ened up so that I could work them the rest of the store. I think I’ ll just wait until the
usually succumbed when my clothing needs of the way up my legs. Ah, this is more like Okay, time to try again. I can do this. My styles change again. After all, nothing in life
had reached a critical mass (or lack, thereof). it. My relief was short-lived as each inch the little pep talk seemed to be working and I is certain except death, taxes, and changing
The day my last good pair of jeans split at pants navigated the unfamiliar terrain of pushed them a little further down my legs. styles.
the seams when I bent over, I knew that I my body where they encountered more and Once more progress halted. Trapped again. I
had reached that point. more resistance. Tug, tug, and finally, they tried to balance on one foot and reach down The jeans had won; they were in control.
slid over my hips. I made it, I crowed. to pull the jeans off the other one, which
My favorite style pants were bell bottoms resulted in a foot cramp this time. By then Case closed.
because throughout my whole life, muscle Once more, my smugness proved premature. I was dancing/hobbling on one foot, trying
and joint pain has plagued my existence. Although I tugged some more, I couldn’t get to get the raised foot flat onto the floor to P.S. I got an “A” on my speech because my
Their wide legs suited my inflexibility. So, I the gap between the sides of the zipper close relieve the cramp. young classmates were rolling on the floor
thought, no big deal, I’d just go back to the enough to zip. I took in a mighty breath, laughing the whole time I was talking. (They
same store where I had purchased that com- sucked in my stomach to the point of pain, If you have ever struggled with panty hose, should laugh; they have to lie on the bed or
fortable pair of bell bottoms. and the zipper closed smoothly. I brought which capture your two feet about six the floor to get their jeans up.)
the two sides of the snap together and I was inches away from each other as you try to
To my dismay, changing styles had taken in. I let out my breath. Everything stayed in work them up your leg, you can imagine
jeans from the wide and comfortable (the place. I began to turn in front of the mirror how ineffective my efforts were. Still
sublime) to the narrow and fitted (the ridic- to admire my profile. Not bad. Four kids and cramping, I lost my balance and thudded
ulous.) My first look told me that the jeans I still look good in a pair of jeans. to the floor. I discovered that when your
Women’s Press July & August 2010 Local Perspectives 15

Stop pleasing
others, just
be yourself
By Hertha Wolff-Arend

Many women, especially in a business envi-

Photo by Bill Davenport
We play with each other through words and
How many toads innuendos, titillating our senses safely from
home. He may not even be a prince, but he
ronment, seem to believe that they have to
play certain roles to achieve certain goals.
Women often want to please, and they
definitely don’t want to disappoint other
people’s expectations. The effort to please
others usually results in disappointment and
frustration for the pleaser. We are giving
and giving, but we still have the feeling of

does one have

writes as though he is. Of course I respond not being fully respected and appreciated.
as though I am his Princess, his goddess, his What is wrong with us? Why don’t we get
delicate flower. Who will ever know? I can the attention and the respect we deserve?

to kiss? be anyone I wish to be.

It’s all in my mind after all.

The answer is simple. The more we please,
the more we lose our identity and personal-
Photo by Paolo Ferla
By MaryAine Curtis ity. If you are not able to say “no”, you do
Oops. I fell in love, revealed my heart, and not leave space for yourself to unfold your live the life you want to live, and accept the
Once upon a time there was a young he disappeared just like that. Poof! As I fall, personality. If you deliver everything in a fact that you cannot always please others.
maiden with a gentle golden heart waiting it all vanishes. Now my heart is broken, and manner that is expected, you do not leave Once you acknowledge that you are not
to be swept up onto the magic carpet of her I resolve to discover me and romance myself room for surprises. Imagine a life without perfect, that you are not just a copy of an
dreams. The tale of the magic toad was told or forever tuck my heart safely away. Simple surprises? Isn’t that a boring and uninspired ideal picture, and that you have edges and
to me, and it seemed to be the only means play, it doesn’t stay. picture? Now imagine that this is who you scratches, and even show some signs of
to get to the beloved, that one holding my are. You are predictable, always delivering aging (or patina), once you fully embrace
heart throughout time. But alas, there are so Once I had a lover on the internet; it’s like without questioning or arguing. I know you who you are, you will get all the respect and
many toads. How do I find the one that may modern day frog picking. I’m saddened by hate this image, but this is what happens attention you desire. If you want to be loved
be my prince? Perhaps the painting on my my loss, feeling jaded and gullible after all. when your main intention in life and in par- and respected for whom you are, you have
wall of The Frog Prince will give me a clue. We never met. An entire life time romanced ticular in business is simply to please. You to love and embrace yourself first. People
Is it really there to remind me of the many in a matter of days, cast away. lose your authenticity, which means you are notice when they are dealing with a woman
wishes that my hopeful heart has wished? not developing your personality with all the who is authentic or if they are dealing with
But then perhaps it’s foolishness to dream I am wandering along the path of self discovery edges and scratches that make a person a a woman who is simply playing a role,
this dream once more. and reminiscing. How do I love with complete personality or simply authentic. whatever that role might be.
abandon and continue to love myself when I
How many toads does one have to kiss fall. Is this how my soul journeys through this Come back to the question, “What is wrong In a business environment, especially in
to find the prince? The heart of a hopeful life dancing as if no one is watching? Is love of with us?’ The answer is that nothing is competition with men and other women,
romantic like me will always ere on the side myself all that really matters? wrong, but there is artificial and authentic maintaining authenticity leads to success.
of potential. There is so much. Is it him? Is behavior. Playing the role others impose on Being the way you are takes less effort and
it me? I listen to the most romantic music To have the love and attract even more is us is an artificial act, while choosing to be energy than pretending to be somebody you
and stirrings in my heart for The ONE creation. Following my heart in shameless who we want to be and acing accordingly are not. Furthermore, someone who is real
that uplifts me and makes me whole. Great abandon may be the key to all that is me. reflects an authentic behavior. Of course, I is more believable, while someone playing a
passion to become the most that I can ever The music holds me and bends, encouraging assume that we are talking about behavior role struggles and wastes a lot of energy not
be fills me. The love enhances every cell. the passion as I fall. My mind misconstrues and actions that take place within the system to make any mistakes that might disturb
the meaning of the moments and pursues a of laws and the ethical rules. The answer is the picture she is trying to present. Just as
Once I had a lover on the internet. He was lifetime. Listening to the music, each song as simple as that: What is more appreciated you like to look at your favorite original in
a knight in shining armor. Truly. He played has an ending no matter how beautiful the and respected? The original or the copy? a museum or gallery, you will enjoy your
knights in the Renaissance Faire. Oh, his melody, no matter how much my heart rides You pick the original, because it is real and life as a real person but not by trying to be
flowery speech prompted me to fly away the highs and softness and the power, it ends. valuable. If we translate this metaphor to a mere copy of what you believe others want
into such bliss. The words, the music were so you and how you act, I want to encourage you to be.
captivating and so sensual as he played my And I’m left once again with me. you to be real – be the original.
ethereal body. Betraying my resolutions, my
body responded like a finely tuned violin to You do not have to be perfect to be success- If you want to find encouragement and
the love-filled words spoken. www.maryainecurtis.com ful in life and business, but you have to be empowerment, I invite you to visit my blog:
authentic. Allow your personality to unfold, www.beawomanandactlikeone.com
16 Local Perspectives Women’s Press July & August 2010

The Real FACTS: was a large cover-up afoot in her case. I sub-
sequently wrote a letter to the editor of the
Sacramento. But he continued to have a
burning desire to tell the stories from the
he became a Court Commissioner hearing
family law cases, he had not realized how
A book review Amador Ledger about how county staff
often engages in cover-ups when they’ve
badly botched a case. I spoke in generalities
Foothills, in an effort to spur action to bring
the system into balance. Out of Balance, his
current book, is the result.
political domestic violence is. He said he’d
always thought that if you did the crime,
you should do the time. He indicated he’d
By Sue McMeans
rather than mentioning specific cases. learned very quickly that his simplistic belief
While his book is written as fiction, much simply was not true. There are too many
Author Michael Arkin is a former Perhaps I should mention here that I worked of it is based on actual cases. Some of these double standards and exceptions in the
Independent State Hearing Officer who was for San Luis Obispo County for 20 years; cases have been published in the L.A. Daily system, particularly for those in certain lines
appointed to hear and determine contested most of that time as the Chief Deputy Journal in the past. I still have copies of of work who commit domestic violence.
cases between school districts and parents as Public Guardian/Conservator. During this some of these L.A. Daily Journal articles. Michael does a great job of addressing these
part of the Special Education Hearing Office time I saw many cover-ups because of poor specific concerns as well as many others in
in Sacramento, California. A former United decision-making processes and actions, or Out of Balance may be somewhat slow his book.
States Department of Justice trial attorney in lack thereof, of incompetent and/or uncaring reading initially because it explains how the
Washington, D.C., he engaged in a private employees. system works for people who are not well There are many of us who are hoping that
law practice, first in Southern California versed with the law, domestic violence, and Michael’s book will be widely purchased,
and later in the Mother Lode country of After my letter was published in the Amador how the courts operate, but it quickly picks read, and discussed so that it will help create
which he writes. His Northern California Ledger, I received a call from the office of an up the pace and reads like a psychological mainstream knowledge of problems within
law practice was balanced among provid- attorney I’d never heard of before--Michael thriller, keeping you on the edge of your seat the system so that many more people will
ing legal services as Chief Trial Counsel Arkin. I subsequently talked to him and to the conclusion of the book. Quite frankly, become interested and involved in seeing
to Child Protective Services, as special found we had many concerns in common. once I started the book, I could not put it that needed change occurs.
counsel to the Superior Court for children My husband, Andy, and I made arrange- down. I have seen other reviewers say this
in high conflict child custody cases, and as ments to meet with him during one of my also. One reviewer from Southern California A Glimpse Inside a Broken System:
counsel for battered women referred by the trips to Amador County to support Karen said, “As entertaining as the book was, I was “Out of Balance,” by Michael Arkin
Women’s Crisis Center. He received under- in court. educated about a world beyond my comfort (PublishAmerica, Baltimore, MD., $19.95).
graduate degrees from George Washington zone --- abusive parents, victimized children Out of Balance can be purchased at Amazon.
University and the University of Oklahoma After Karen’s court hearing, we drove to and the intimate scenes of life on illegal com, BarnesandNoble.com, ABEbooks.
with a major in psychology, and minors Angel’s Camp, where Michael’s office was drugs. Any reader of this book will want com, Hein and Company (Jackson,
in sociology, philosophy, and English. He located in a beautiful old building on the to be more of a watchdog in his neighbor- Ca.), Sustenance Books (Murphys, Ca.),
received his law degree from the University main street right in the heart of town. It was hood and looks for signs of abuse. I predict Bookworks (Albuquerque, NM), Frontier
of Oklahoma. around 5:00 p.m. when we arrived. Michael that it will become required or at least rec- Mart (Corrales, NM), directly from the
had many things he wanted to discuss with ommended reading in courses on domestic Author (signed) at 1041 Angel Road,
I first met Michael Arkin by coincidence. I us and we had many things to discuss with abuse. Five stars for a book that opens your Corrales, NM 87048, and from all book-
and other grandparents and foster parents him as well. Because of the political climate eyes and makes you want to make the world stores (on order) through Ingram Book
formed a group many years ago know in Amador County, he did not want to be a better place.” Distribution Company.
as, “The Real F.A.C.T.S.,” or “Forum on over heard by any county staff. He there-
Abused Children and the System.” Our fore invited us to his beautiful home in the The book does a great job of pointing out real
group was developed to address concerns foothills for a wonderful home cooked meal problems within the court system and county
about problems within our county’s Child with his wife and kids. agencies that deal with abuse and divorce.
Welfare System and Family Law Courts.
We spent a great deal of time educating our- After dinner, the kids were sent off to do It is not only Michael’s hope, but mine as
selves and networking with others who had, home work and get ready for bed. We well, that people will begin realizing the
and still have, similar concerns. spent hours exchanging information, doc- scope of problems within these systems and
umentation, and concerns about what we the extent of damage that they do unnec-
I came to know Michael Arkin through a all considered to be a very poorly run sys- essarily so that better solutions for families
somewhat circuitous route from networking tem--a system that served itself rather than can be found. Much of what goes on in
with others around the state. Somewhere serving the persons entangled in it. He told the whole system today is simply taken for
along the way, I met Karen Anderson us that whenever a mistake was made or granted or ignored and many of those in
and Connie Valentine of the California harm had been done, it was covered up and the system don’t want the “boat rocked.”
Protective Parent Association in the Davis/ the people involved were effectively silenced. There are too many people making too
Sacramento area. Karen is the founder of the Michael talked about having been threatened much money from participating in this dys-
organization known as “Courageous Kids.” by Amador County staff to stay away from functional system. To them, a closer look
When I first met Karen, I learned from certain cases unless he wanted them to make resulting in any change would be bad.
her of her own divorce and custody case sure he never worked anywhere again. He felt
and how horribly it had been mismanaged then that his hands were tied because he had Most of us know that the way domestic
by staff and the Court in Amador County a large family to support. Michael and his violence is treated varies from person to
to the extreme detriment of her children. wife, Laura, have ten children between them. person. It is more political than not, and
There was a strong appearance that her case therein lies one of the big problems with
had intentionally been mismanaged. From Eventually Michael was appointed to adju- how it is handled within the system. One of
actual evidence I saw from the Amador dicate special education cases and his our county’s former Court Commissioners
Sheriff’s investigation, it appeared that there home base changed from Angels Camp to whom I’d known for years told me that until
Women’s Press July & August 2010
Photo by Marina Avila
Old Dog Comfort
By Kate Updike O’Connor
“How’s the old boy doing?” I ask as I drift to
a stop alongside Riley and his owner. I am out
for a morning bike ride and Riley is out for his
morning walk. I’ve met up with him before.
“He’s doing great!” the handsome man
whose name I do not know answers with a
huge grin.
I love dogs. I especially love old dogs. I
always stop to say hello and share a moment
with the owner’s permission. This man tells
me, with both pride and incredulity, that
Riley will be seventeen on December 5. The
old dog’s short legs plod as if each step is
earned and his joints are stiff. His hearing’s
gone, the owner tells me, but Riley can still
see through cloudy eyes. He walks without
a leash and stops every few feet to sniff his
favorite spots, and displays the kind of con-
fidence of a dog who walks the same route
every day. Another bigger dog, on a leash,
approaches, and Riley’s posture lifts and his
tail wags briskly. I barely know Riley but I
can see that he’s a happy, friendly dog.
I set my bike down and walk slowly toward
him. I crouch and put myself in his line of
vision. I want to pet him, but I don’t want
to startle him. He stops and gives me a ten-
tative kiss, lets me run my hand over his
back. I don’t know what breed he is. I don’t
care to ask. It’s enough for me to know his
name and his age. I can imagine his life
from touching him.
It’s a simple, full life. A morning walk and
an evening walk sufficiently meet his needs,
especially since his master strolls leisurely
a few paces ahead, never in a hurry, always
happy to accompany him for one more day
at least. Dinner is kibble and a glucosamine
tablet to ease the arthritis. His master has
provided a suitable bed, firm yet soft, to rest
his old bones in, and Riley spends much of
the day there. He no longer needs to bark
at the mail carrier. But he’s up and running
to meet his master when he hears the car in
the drive. They both look forward to a quiet
evening at home together.
I had the pleasure of an old dog’s company
once. His twice-daily walks were the high
points of his day, too. He was all dog on
his walks, no matter how slowly he eventu-
ally moved up the hill homeward. I took to
carrying my cell phone that last year because
I worried he might collapse. Actually, I
worried a lot about losing him. Riley’s owner
says his old dog has seen him through good
times and bad. I know what he means.
My old dog did the same for me.
A happy old dog has nothing to prove. He
saves his energy for his walks and his loved
ones. So I feel honored when Riley stops to
acknowledge me and lets me pet him. He
must sense my need. He knows I still miss
my old boy.
Local Perspectives 17
Commission as provide valuable solutions for women’s
on the Status issues and concerns to our Supervisors. It
is your voice that is important. It is your
voice that we want speaking through us.
of Women Please take a moment to go to the website
(www.slowomen.org), download the survey,
and FAX (805 788-2007) it directly to the
By Paulette Claire Commission. Your anonymity will be
respected and your answers will be an impor-
The San Luis Obispo County Commission tant link to your Board of Supervisors.
on the Status of Women is an advisory
group that submits a yearly survey of the Go to the Commission’s website, slowomen.
needs of the county’s women to the Board org, be sure that you are on the home page,
of Supervisors. It is during the next four note that towards the center of the page
months that you will see Commissioners you will see “SLO County Residents,” and
out into the community with clip boards click the “English Language” or “Spanish
and surveys in hand. Women of the county Language” survey, download it onto your
also have an opportunity to download computer, print it, fill it out, and FAX, 805
the survey directly off the website (www. 788-2007, or mail it to the post office box
slowomen.org) and FAX (805 788-2007) it listed below. You can also call (805) 788-3406
to the Commission. Your survey answers and a survey will be sent to you.
are an important part of the yearly presenta-
tion to the San Luis Obispo County Board If you would like to become involved with
of Supervisors. San Luis Obispo County’s Commission
on the State of Women, join us at our next
During monthly meetings, the needs of meeting, July 1, 6:15 p.m., Coast National
women in the county are addressed. Over Bank Board Room, 500 Marsh Street, San
the past two years, the needs of women Luis Obispo. Your voice in our county is
have been primarily financial concerns and important.
health issues. These issues have been the
focus of numerous discussions, Women’s
Way to Wealth presentations, and collabora- Where to find us:
tion with other organizations also concerned San Luis Obispo County Commission on the
about women’s issues. These are often times Status of Women
the same issues that women face throughout
California as well as throughout the nation. Post Office Box 15116
San Luis Obispo, CA 93406
With your help, the commission can meet
their objectives and support the equaliza- (805) 788-3406
tion of women in our community, gain cosowo@gmail.com
knowledge of women’s needs, collaborate slowomen.org
and use resources in our community, as well
18 Local Perspectives
Where is the most peaceful place
to visit on the Central Coast ?
Melanie Reese Senn
Nighttime, the picnic  table in my own  At any one of our beautiful wineries, drinking
backyard, sans children. wine with friends.
Leslie St. John
The Hydrolucinogen room at the sanitarium
in SLO--cool blues, purples, white-silvers;
watercolors, thick linens, a deep metal tub;
and the room has a private deck. It’s an oasis
in town, a quiet place to reconnect with my
own voice (all the other “should/should not”
voices are momentarily shushed). There, she
speak in poems, paintings, dance...  and eucalyptus groves  create a  womblike
Christine Dewart
Morning hikes up Bishops during the
week were a great way for me to find some
peace of mind. I also enjoyed night drives
out to Avila to swing on the swings, lis-
tening to the tides roll in. Just taking a
walk downtown in the mornings is peace-
ful--whether you’re passing by the cute old
men taking an espresso break from cycling
at Uptown(which I still cannot call Black
Horse), or it’s a Wednesday morning and
you hear the children clapping and singing
from inside Boo Boo Records.
Michelle Butera
Most peaceful place for me is in Big Sur.
Limekiln is beautiful as well as the spot where
the the big sur lodge is. The fresh air and quiet
beauty is the best.
Women’s Press July & August 2010
Edana Hall Licensed Midwife
mothersbirth@holisticmidwifery.com
805-801-3806
New office and
Birth Center opening:
San Luis Business Center
@ Higuera & Los Osos Valley Rd.
San Luis Obispo, CA
Photo by Benjamin Lawless
Jen Kaplan
Berta Parrish
When I need a peaceful place to seri-
ously ponder life’s challenges, I go to Sweet
Springs in Los Osos.  It is a beautiful and
serene environment with paths for wan-
dering, birds for watching, and benches
for sitting.    The  freshwater ponds,  the salt-
water marsh, and the Monterey cypress
ambiance which provides shelter and inspi-
ration. When I cross over the bridge, it’s like
entering sacred space.
MaryAine Curtis
I have several oak trees that I like to hike
to in the county that are very peaceful and
rejuvenatig places for me to re-connect to
my spirit. This is where my inspration comes
from.
The top of any of our gorgeous mountains
brings me great joy as I look over the beauty
of our earth.
Next month our Voices
around the Table question is:
Do you think the institution of
marriage is outdated?
Please send responses to
womenspressslo@gmail.com
Women’s Press July & August 2010 NOW News 19
This Page Presented by the National Organization for Women
The purpose of NOW is to bring women into full participation in the mainstream of American society NOW !

NOW Calendar
NOW Chapter # CA 565
PO Box 1306, SLO, CA 93406
July SLONOW @ kcbx.net
http://groups.myspace.com/~slonow
• July 2: Civil Rights Act signed into law, 1964
General Meetings
• July 2: Amelia Earhart’s plane is lost in the Pacific Ocean, 1937
GALA office, now located at 1060 Palm St., SLO
• July 4: In Baltimore, where she is the only printer, Mary Katherine Goddard Third Tuesday of every month at 6 pm.
publishes the Declaration of Independence,1777.

• July 9: birthday, June Jordan, poet, civil rights worker, 1936 3rd Tuesday of every month at 6:00 pm
• July 15: Jocelyn Burnell discovered pulsars, 1943, for which her supervisor received
Nobel Prize in physics NOW Goals
• July 18: Geraldine Ferraro nominated vice president, Democratic Party, 1984 • Support reproductive choice
• Work to eliminate ALL violence against women
• July 19: first Women’s Rights Convention, Seneca Falls, NY 1848 • Fight against sexual harassment
• Encourage tolerance and diversity
• July 20: NOW regular meeting, 6 PM • Promote feminist issues
• Commemorate Roe v Wade (Jan 22)
• July 21: birthday, Janet Reno, 1938 • Celebrate Women’s Equality Day (Aug 26)
• Participate in Farmer’s Market
• July 24: birthday, Bella Abzug, 1920 • Support feminist politics

• July 29: birthday of Jacqueline Onassis, 1929; established White House Historical
Association, 1994 Get Involved — Join NOW!
August San Luis Obispo Chapter #565
• Aug 3: birthday, Maggie Kuhn, founder Grey Panthers, 1905 National Organization for Women
• Aug 6: anniversary of Hiroshima; Women’s Peace Day Every woman doesn’t have to join NOW,
• Aug 6: Voting Rights Act outlaws literacy tests; suffrage finally extended to African just the 142 million who are discriminated against!
American women, 1965

• Aug 7: birthday of Elizabeth Gurley Flynn, labor organizer, helped found ACLU, 1890
Name: ________________________________________________
• Apr 10: birthday, Dolores Huerta, 1930; co-founder United Farm Workers
Address: _____________________________________________
• Aug 13: birthday, Lucy Stone, pioneer for women’s rights, 1818; kept her own
name at marriage City/St/ZIP: __________________________________ _________
Phone: ________________________________________________
• Aug 14: Day with Creative Women, Mission Plaza
Regular Dues ….$40, Sliding Scale…..$15-39
• Aug 17: NOW regular meeting, 6 PM

• Aug 23: Fannie Farmer opens Boston cooking school, introducing standard
Send your check and this form to
measurements for recipes, 1902
PO Box 1306
• Aug 26: Women’s Equality Day SLO, CA 93406
• Aug 28: Martin Luther King, Jr’s March on Washington, “I have a Dream” Chapter # CA 565
speech, 1963 slonow@kcbx.net Amount enclosed: _______
______
20 NOW News Women’s Press July & August 2010

Coordinator’s Corner Women’s

By Angie King

We’ve already had two elections this spring,
and we’re gearing up for the “big” one in
November. I hope women realize their
votes can make the difference in how this
state and country is governed. One hundred
years ago, women in America were protest-
ing the fact that they could not cast a vote
on their own. It was often said, by men of
course, that the women’s opinions were reg-
istered by their husband’s votes. But who
knew how true that was? No one asked the
women! The groundswell for women’s right
to vote increased when the world went to
war in 1914, when men were gone, fighting,
and women ran things at home. A precur-
sor to the same groundswell of progressive
change after World War II; this protest in
the early part of the last century finally
brought suffrage for women in 1920. It
may seem we don’t need to remember our
herstory any more, with women in the
senate and the state governors’ mansions,
with women running major governmen-
tal agencies and advising presidents. But
those who forget history, as Santayana once
famously said, are doomed to repeat it.
The numbers of women registered to vote
are decreasing, not increasing. The numbers
of women in representative positions in gov-
ernment are decreasing, not reaching parity
with men. And many of the primary rights
women fought for are being eroded every
day, like the right to quality affordable
health care and child care and equal pay for
equal work, and…. the list goes on.
One way to make sure our rights are pro-
tected is to work for ratification of the
CEDAW. This groundbreaking document,
the Convention on Elimination of all
forms of Discrimination against Women,
was adopted in 1979 by the UN General
Assembly, but has not been ratified by
the United States. It defines what consti-
tutes discrimination against women and
sets up an agenda for national action to
end such discrimination. By accepting the
Convention, governments commit them-
selves to undertake a series of measures to
end discrimination against women in all
forms, including:
• to incorporate the principle of equality
of men and women in their legal
system, abolish all discriminatory laws
and adopt appropriate ones prohibiting
discrimination against women;
• to establish tribunals and other public
institutions to ensure the effective
protection of women against discrimi-
nation; and
• to ensure elimination of all acts of dis-
crimination against women by persons,
organizations or enterprises.
Countries that have ratified or acceded to
the Convention are legally bound to put its
provisions into practice. They are also com-
mitted to submit national reports, at least
every four years, on measures they have taken
to comply with their treaty obligations.
In countries where the treaty is in effect,
the lives of women have improved dramati-
cally. Mortality rates in childbirth have gone
down; wages have increased to allow women Since 1971, August 26th has been cele-
the means to care for their families; laws brated as Women’s Equality Day, a chance
Continued in Coordinators Corner, p. 21
Equality Day is
August 26th
Let the Whole Community
know!
Here’s some news of note about mothers
and August 26th marks the day the
36th state legislature ratified the 19th
Amendment to the US Constitution,
making it official: all women have the
right to vote. Beginning in the 1840’s as
a whisper among women abolitionists
and temperance supporters, women took
the tactics and strategies developed in
those fights and used them to advocate for
suffrage for themselves. However, it took
72 years from the First Women’s Right
Convention in Seneca Falls, in 1848,
until that date in 1920 for our goal to be
realized.
Continued in Women’s Equality Day, p. 21

NOW News of Trustee to reinstate the team and avoid

future violations of this sports equity law.
Stay tuned for further developments when
Constitution giving women the right to vote.
SLO NOW will be at Farmer’s Market on
August 26 to bring community awareness to
CEDAW on these pages, or visit now.org.

NOW assisting FBI to define gender

Cuesta College Tennis Team Title the OCR report is made public. this important right – so timely this election based crimes: For a long time, it seemed
IX violations: We held a very successful year. Don’t forge to register to vote and to violence against women was so “normal”
event on May 6 presenting the timely issue SARP’s Walk a Mile in her Shoes: This change your registration if you have moved that officials were loath to single out crimes
of Title IX violations at Cuesta College. annual event brings out the best in fashion or changed your name. against women as a special category. But
Title IX, passed in 1972, requires all educa- footwear – and the men really do walk a times change, and society has evolved in
tional institutions receiving federal money mile in high heels. NOW had a booth at Ratify Women: Thirty years after the its understanding that women are often
to ensure that women receive equal oppor- the event, selling t-shirts, as shown in the passage of the Convention on Elimination attacked merely because they are women. It
tunity to participate in sports. Cuesta picture! of all forms of Discrimination against took over 20 years, but there is now a federal
has been in violation of this requirement Women (CEDAW), the United States has law prohibiting gender-based hate crimes.
before, in 1994, and made changes to its Up coming local events: SLO NOW still not ratified this international treaty, The Hate Crimes Prevention Act, passed
athletic programs to bring it into compli- will have a table at the WCC’s Day With making it the only industrialized nation last year, expands the scope of the Justice
ance. However, in January 2010, Cuesta Creative Women on August 14. Come not a party to it. NOW’s Global Feminist Department’s ability to investigate and
abruptly cancelled the women’s tennis team, visit us and learn more about NOW. We Strategies and Issues Committee asks all prosecute bias motivated crimes based on
despite the acute interest and participation will also volunteer again at the Morro Bay feminists to sign an on-line petition to ask a victim’s actual or perceived sexual orien-
by the players and their coach. The Office Harbor Fest on October 2-3. If you would President Obama to place ratification of tation gender, gender identity, or disability,
of Civil Rights of the Department of Justice like to help us (we receive a donation for our CEDAW before the Senate. Go to www. and authorizes the collection of data on
is currently investigating. SLO NOW col- efforts), let us know at slonow@kcbx.net. ratifywomen.org. Until the US is officially these crimes. NOW has met with the FBI
laborated with the SLO branch of AAUW a signatory, we can hardly ask other coun- to help define the terms in implementing
in presenting a panel of Title IX experts, the And, don’t forget August 26, Women’s tries to live up to their obligations under the data collection requirement.
tennis coach, and one of the players on the Equality Day, commemorating the ratifi- the treaty, or claim to be a leader in the
team. We continue to urge Cuesta Board cation of the 19th amendment to the US fight for human rights. See more about
Women’s Press July & August 2010
“Coming to Consciousness,
the Experience of a Lifetime”
A workshop at Cuesta College SLO
Campus, Building 4700, Room 4760. Six
Saturday mornings from 10:00 a.m. to noon
beginning 8/14 and ending 9/25 (no class on
Labor Day weekend). Fee: $76.
Using her prize-winning book (Searching
for Soul; A Survivor’s Guide)  as a model
for bringing one’s life to consciousness, and
borrowing liberally from the work of psycho-
analyst C. G. Jung, author Bobbe Tyler will
lead participants in reading, discussing and
writing to a deep and meaningful level of
the psyche as they respond to six key “inner
life” questions awaiting serious consider-
ation.  Personal stories will not be discussed. year, expands the time limits to register wage
Bring writing materials and the book to discrimination against women.
every class; book available for purchase first
meeting only ($15).  Website: bobbetyler.com.   National NOW will be directing its efforts
Questions?  Call Cuesta College Community coming years. Our chapter will have a table
Programs: (805) 546-3132.
Learn the Language of Your Dreams
When: Saturday, August 28th
Time: 1:00 PM – 5:00 PM
Price: $55.00
Facilitator: Dorothy Segovia,
certified Life Coach
Be Well Center
8810 Morro Road, Atascadero
805 460-9907
www.BeWellLiving.net   Therapy, The Studio Fitness for Women, Uptown Cafe, Yoga Centre, Ahshe Hair
Imagery from your dreams is the language
of your soul. Discover how your dreams
are teaching you to live a more energetic,
balanced life. All you need is an under-
standing of your own symbolic images.
Learn to develop your dream recording
skills. Through collage, movement, and
reflective journaling you will learn to access
your dreams.
V. I. P.
Vegetarian Inclined People Come join us for
a wonderful time of great food, fellowship
and fun! You are invited to an all vege-
tarian potluck and guest speaker the 4th
Wednesday of each month at the Arroyo
Grande Women’s Club Located at 211
Vernon St From 6-8pm. Bring vegetarian
dish to share, own place setting and a dollar
to help cover costs. Call Nicolette for more
details: 805-710-3090
Coordinator’s Corner
Continued
Continued from page 20
prohibiting violence against women have
become stronger and better enforced. While
conditions for women in the US were already
better than in many other countries, we still
have many areas where our lives could be
improved. The new federal hate crimes law
recently passed by Congress expands the def-
initions and circumstances in which violence
against women is treated as a hate based
crime. The Lily Ledbetter bill, passed last
discrimination complaints. But there is still
toward ratification of this treaty in the
at Farmer’s Market on August 26, Women’s
Equality Day, celebrating our right to vote
and providing literature on CEDAW. Join
us and learn more about what you can do to
ensure equality for women
Women’s Equality Day
Continued
Continued from page 20
for us to remind ourselves of the power of
the ballot. A chance to celebrate the changes
in our society brought about by the influ-
ence of women voters.
And it is also a chance for us to reflect on
what women can do and must continue to
do for the future.
This year. NOW celebrate Women’s Equality
Day, August 26, by having a table at Farmer’s
Market displaying the Statue of Liberty
symbolizing women’s struggle for equality,
culminating in the 19th amendment. Come
visit us and sign the various petitions to
bring about true women’s equality – support
for CEDAW, equal pay for equal work, an
end to violence against women and sexual
harassment, access to quality child care for
working women, access to full health care
options for women, and all the other items
on our agenda that YOU know we need. See
you there!
Bulletins 21
Where to find Women’s Press
All Libraries and the following exceptionally fine establishments!
• NORTH COUNTY: Atascadero – The Coffee House and Deli, Starbuck’s
at Von’s Plaza, Green Goods, Player’s Pizza, Harvest Health Food Store, North
County Connection, Senior Center, Women’s Resource Center/Shelter Office,
Curves. Paso Robles – Cuesta College North Campus, Café Vio, Curves, DK
Donuts, Panolivo French Cafe, NCI Village Thrift Shop, Paso Robles Health
Foods; Templeton – Twin Cities Hospital, Templeton Market & Deli, Affinity
Chiropractic, Kinship Center, Jobella’s Coffee; Santa Margarita– Santa Margarita
Mercantile.
• NORTHERN COAST: Baywood – Coffee & Things; Cambria – Cambria
Connection, Cambria Pines Lodge, Chamber of Commerce, Gym One, Azevedo
Chiropractic, Lilly’s, Alloco’s, Cambria Drug and Gift, Bob & Jan’s Bottle Shop,
Linn’s, Donna’s Nail Salon, Cookie Crock, Rainbow Bean and Coffee Shop;
Cayucos – Cayucos Super Market, Kelley’s EsPresso & Dessert, Ocean Front Pizza,
Chevron Station, Mobile Balloons; Los Osos – Starbuck’s, Baywood Laundry,
Cad’s, Carlock’s Bakery, Chamber of Commerce, Copa de Oro, Garden Café, Los
Osos Deli Liquor, Volumes of Pleasure; Morro Bay – Backstage Salon, Coalesce
Bookstore, Coffee Pot Restaurant, The Rock, Southern Port Traders, Sunshine
Health Foods, Two Dogs Coffee, La Parisienne Bakery.
• SAN LUIS OBISPO: Broad St. Laundry, Cool Cats Café, La Crepes, Edna Market,
Booboo Records, Creekside Center, GALA, Marigold Nails, Palm Theatre, Susan
Polk Insurance, Utopia Bakery, Unity Church, Zoe Wells, Naturopath, Cal Poly
Library and Women’s Center, Center for Alternatives to Violence, Chamber of
Commerce, Cuesta College Library, EOC Health Services Clinic, HealthWorks,
Healing Alternatives, Laguna Laundry, Linnaea’s, Monterey Express, Natural
Foods Coop, New Frontiers, Nautical Bean, Outspoken Beverage Bistro, Phoenix
Books, Planned Parenthood, West End Espresso & Tea, San Luis Obispo Housing
Authority Office, SARP, The Secret Garden, SLO Perk Coffee, Spirit Winds
Salon, Apropos Clothing, Soho Hair Salon, Hempshak, YMCA, KCBX, Salon on
Monterey, Jaffa Café, Med Stop (Madonna Plaza), World Rhythm and Motion,
Steynberg Gallery, Correa Chiropractic, High St. Deli, Sunset N. Car Wash,
Jamaica You, United Blood Services.
• SOUTH COUNTY: Arroyo Grande – Mongo’s, Act II Boutique, Central
Coast Yoga, CJ’s Restaurant, Curves-AG, Cutting Edge, EOC Health Services
Clinic, Girls Restaurant, Grande Whole Foods, Chameleon; Avila Beach– Avila
Grocery, Custom House, Sycamore Hot Springs, Inn at Avila, Joe Mamma’s;
Grover Beach – Back Door Deli, Cindi’s Wash House, Nan’s Pre-owned
Books, Therapeutic Body Center, 30-minute Fitness; Halcyon – Halcyon Store;
Nipomo – Anna’s Creekside Coffee House, Healing Touch Spa, Curves, La Placita
Market, Healthy Inspirations, World Gym, Trendy Sister Salon, Senior Centers;
Pismo Beach – Honeymoon Café, Pismo Athletic Club, RETurn to JOY!; Shell
Beach – De Palo & Sons Deli, Seaside Cafe, Steaming Bean.
• SANTA MARIA: Café Monet, Hunter’s Landing, Library, Curves on Main and
on Broadway, Lassen’s.
• ORCUTT: Loading Dock, Oasis Spa.
22 Resources Women’s Press July & August 2010

ABUSE Drug & Alcohol Services MOMS Club of South SLO county Creative Mediation
Adults Molested as Children Support 781.4275 473.2548; www.southslomomsclub.org 549.0442
Group (AMAC) Rape Survivors Support Narcotics Anonymous Partnership for Children Dealing With Divorce
Group, SLO 549.7730 and 800.549.7730 541.8666; ask for Beth 544.9313
Support Group for Sexual Assault Overeaters Anonymous Real F.A.C.T.S. (Forum on Abused Depresson and Bipolar Support
Survivors Children) Alliance Group
545.8888 541.3164
SCA, SLAA & SAA (Sex, Love & Romance 460.9016 927.3703
Center for Alternatives to Domestic Addictions) Social Services Divorce Discussion Group
Violence 781.1600 489.2990, saintbarnabas@sbcglobal.net
781.6406 461.6084
TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) Support for Kids Coping with Eating Disorders Support Group
North County Women’s Shelter & Domestic Violence 546-3774; free, meets weekly in SLO
Resource Center, 929.1789 www.tops.org
Women for Sobriety 473.6507 Grief Drop-In Support Groups
(inc. domestic violence support groups) 544.2266, multiple meetings avail.
461.1338 215.536.8026 www.womenforsobriety.org EMERGENCY/CRISIS
Project Lifesaver
SARP (Sexual Assault Recovery & CHILDREN & FAMILIES Hotline 548.0909 www.projectlifesaverofslo.org
Prevention) Birth and Baby Resource Center www.slohotline.org 800.549.8989 Safe and Sober Support Group
545.8888 or 800.656.HOPE (4673) 546.3755 www.bbrn.org Sexual & Rape Prevention (SARP) 473.6507
Women’s Shelter Program of SLO Childcare Resource Connection 545.8888 or 800.656.HOPE (4673) St. Barnabas (Depression/Divorce/
781.6401 www.womensshelterslo.org 541.2272 or 800.727.2272 Temporary Restraining Order & Victim Grief)
Court Appointed Special Advocates Witness Program 781.5821 489.2990 www.stbarnabas.ag.org
ADDICTIONS Transformations Counseling Center
(CASA) EMOTIONAL SUPPORT
AA Meeting Free monthly workshops 541.7908
541.3211 “A child’s voice in Court in SLO County” A.D.A.P.T. (Aid in Divorce Adjustment
Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) 541.6542 Problems Today) FINANCE/BUSINESS
Children’s Services Network 543.0388
498.2176 Consumer Credit Counseling Services
Al-Anon 781.1847 Alzheimer/Dementia Resource Center
First 5: Children & Families 800.540.2227
534.9204 800.443.1236
Commission Alzheimer’s Association GAY & LESBIAN
Cambria Connection (12 step support)
927.1654 781.4058; ask for Susan Hughs 547.3830 Gay and Lesbian Alliance of the
Homeschooling in SLO County (HSC) CALL–Concerned Agoraphobics Central Coast
Casa Solana
Women’s Recovery Home 481.8555 462.0726; ask for Barbara Learning to Live 541.4252
La Clinica De Tolosa 543.3764 PFLAG.Parents & Friends of Lesbians &
Chemical Dependency intensive
outpatient program 238.5334 Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA) Gays
La Leche League 542.0577 (SLO), 927.1654 (Cambria), 438.3889
541-9113
Compulsive Eaters Anonymous, H.O.W. 489.9128 466.8600 (North County) SOL (Single Older Lesbians)
Concept Migrant Childcare Program Community Counseling Center Mostly socializing! Call 474.9405
546.1178 www.ceahow.org 544.4355 and 466.3444 543.7969
Women’s Press July & August 2010
HOSPICE
Hospice of SLO County, AIDS
Bereavement Group
544.2266 and 434.1164
Hospice Partners of the Central Coast 543.7969
782.8608
JOBS/CAREERS
AARP
788.2643
Cal Poly Foundation
Jobline 756.7107 www.
calpolyfoundation.org
Cal Poly University
http://calpolyjobs.org 756.1533
Cuesta College
http://www.cuesta.edu Jobline 546.3127
The Creekside Career Center
788.2600 or 237.3014 www.slocareers.
org
Department of Rehabilitation
549.3361
Mission Community Services
Corporation
Women’s Business Partners
595.1357 www.mcscorp.org
Private Industry Council (PIC)
www.jobhunt.org 788.2601
LEGAL
California Rural Legal Assistance
544.7994
Core Mediation Services
544.6334 medeee8@aol.com
Creative Mediation
549.0442
District Attorney’s Office – Victim
Witness Center
781.5821
Family Law Facilitator
788.3418
Lawline
788.2099
Lawyer Referral and Information
Service
541.5502
Pro Per Divorce Workshop
544.9313
Senior Legal Services
543.5140
MEDICAL SUPPORT/SERVICES
ALS Support Group (Lou Gehrig’s
Disease)
227.4785 or 674.4162
Alzheimer’s Support
547.3830, 534.9234 (SLO/Los Osos)
888.488.6555
American Cancer Society
San Luis Obispo 543.1481, 238.9657
Templeton 434.3051
Anorexia Nervosa & Bulimia Support
Group
541.9113
Arthritis Foundation
892.5556
Cancer/ Breast Cancer Support Groups
543.1481 ext. 3 for information
Caregivers of Aging Parents
Celiac Disease Support Group
226.9893
Endometriosis Association
www.endometriosisassn.org
Enhancement, Inc. (for breast cancer
survivors)
771.8640 www.enhancementinc.com
EOC Health Services Clinics
no or low cost reproductive health
services
544.2478 (SLO); 489.4026 (Arroyo
Grande)
Healthworks of the Central Coast
No or low cost reproductive health
services
542.0900
Hearst Cancer Resource Center
542.6234
IC Interstitial Cystitis/Painful
Bladder Syndrome
3rd Thursday, SLO, 7 -9 pm 464-0564
Long-term Care Ombudsman Services of
SLO County
785.0132
Lymphedema Education & Support
Group
2nd Monday, 4-5 pm, 782-9300
Parkinson’s Support Groups
466.7226 (Atascadero/Templeton)
481.7424 (Arroyo Grande)
541.8633 (SLO)
Planned Parenthood
SLO 549.9446
Stroke Support Group
471.8102 (SLO)
Caregivers of Stroke Survivors
544.2266 (SLO)
The Wellness Community - Cancer Support
238.4411
Women’s Support/Therapy v (general)
534.1101
Women’s Healthcare Specialists
544.4883
POLITICAL
Code Pink
www.codepinkslo.org; ososousaville@
charter.net
Commission on Status of Women
788.3406; www.slowomen.org
Democratic Women United
541.4252
League of Women Voters
543.2220
NOW (National Organization for
Women)
www.kcbx.net/~slonow/
slonow@kcbx.net
Resources 23
READERS/WRITERS Self-Realization Fellowship
Adult Literacy Sunday Services 995-1599
541-4219
WOMEN’S CENTERS/SHELTERS
Creative Writing Group
Homeless Shelter
748-2676; contact Gloria
Nightwriters 781-3993
Housing Authority
549.9656; contact Shirley Powell
Sisters in Crime 543.4478
North County Women’s Resource
http://SinC-CCC.blogspot.com Center, Shelter
SENIORS 461.1338
Adult Day Care Prado Day Center (for the homeless)
489.8894 (Arroyo Grande); 786.0617 www.pradodaycenter.org
434.2081 (Templeton); 927.4290 Women’s Community Center, SLO
(Cambria) 544.9313
Adult Protective Services Women’s Shelter Program of SLO
781.1790 781.6400 – 24 hour crisis line
Caring Callers www.womensshelterslo.org
547.7025 x 17 OTHER WOMEN’S
Computerooters: ORGANIZATIONS
Computer help: 489.6230 Altrusa International, Inc.
Department of Social Services:
In-Home Support 781.1790 481.1039; Cici Wynn, President
American Association of University
Nursing help for the terminally ill
Women
781.5540
781-0922 Karen www.aauw.org
Elder and Dependent Adult Advocacy Camping Women
and Outreach – Victim Witness
Assistance Center 440.2723 www.campingwomen.org
Hadassah.SLO
781-5821 543.9452
Foster Grandparents.Senior
Companions OTHER GROUPS &
782.9200 GATHERINGS
Senior Peer Counseling
Central Coast Peace and
Free, trained in.home counseling for 60+ Environmental Council
547.7025 ext. 15
544.3399 or 783.2383
Uplift Group Singing and Support
SPIRITUAL
Awakening Interfaith Spiritual Sunday @ 6pm, at the Senior Center
1455 Santa Rosa.
Community
Meditation, Sunday Services, Classes.
Open to all. 772-0306
awakeninginterfaith.org
Circle of Spiritual Enlightenment Please send additions, corrections or
541.1963; www.spiritualcircle.org
deletions to: womenspress.slo@gmail.
Hungry Hearts Spiritual Community com or leave a message at the WCC:
RC liturgy with womanpriest 546.8672
New Beginnings Church 805.544.9313. Last update 7/7/10.
Every Sunday, Coalesce Bookstore, MB
Mira Vista Apartments
11153 El Camino Real
Atascadero CA 93422
ph/fax 805.461.1143
www.miravistaapts.com
Safe • Clean
Quiet • Non-Smoking
Women’s Community Center
PO Box 15639
San Luis Obispo, CA 93406 325

805 544-9313

Clare Lowery L.Ac.

Acupuncture & Herbal Medicine
Licensed for 20 Years

Shirodhara oil treatment

805-541-6772
ClareLowery.com