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The Sesh Act 2017

2017 CHAPTER 1
An Act to define and give effect to the rules and regulations governing the enjoyment a proper Sesh; to make
provisions with respect to the undertaking of Bolting, Lapping, EG-ing, Dabbing, and Dodging in the hallowed
grounds of The Arena or any social or private gathering where alcoholic beverages are consumed; and for connected
purposes.
Be it enacted by the Queens most Excellent Majesty, by and with the advice and consent of the Lords Spiritual and
Temporal, and Commons, in this present Parliament assembled, and by the authority of the same, as follows:
Contents
Section 1 EG-ing
Section 2 Dabbing
Section 3 Bolting
Section 4 Lapping
Section 5 Dodging
Section 6 Core Squad
Section 7 Precedent
Section 8 Human Rights
1. EG-ing
a. After the emptying of a Vessel containing an alcoholic beverage, said Vessel
must be EG-ed.
b. A Vessel is any container that has held liquid since its last use.
c. The EG-ing of an emptied Vessel must be undertaken in the following
manners:
i. First years must tap their emptied Vessel on their own chest.
ii. Second years must tap their emptied Vessel on any of their
body part between the waist and shoulders.
iii. Third years must tap their emptied Vessel on their person.
iv. Fourth years must tap their emptied Vessel anywhere on any
person.
v. Fifth years and over must tap their emptied Vessel anywhere
on anything.
2. Dabbing
a. All Core Squad members must dab after EG-ing a bolt. See Section 3 for
Bolting rules.
i. After hearing the Bird Call all Core Squad members must
Dab when crouching into the Group Meeting position. See Section 6 for Group Meetings.
b. All Core Squad members must dab upon hearing a dropping beat of a 'lit'
song.
i. Core Squad must collectively decide when said song is 'lit'.
c. Types of Dabs Core Squad members must carry out:
i. The classic dab
ii. The slow dab
iii. The double dab
iv. The quick dab.
v. The dodging feelings dab.
vi. The Alternating Dab
vii. The Tease Dab
d. All core squad members must dab upon completing a challenge or winning in
a group activity.
e. Failure to Dab when requested by another squad member will result in an
automatic bolt. See Section 3.
f. A Dab will only have been deemed to be completed if it is undertaken with
the correct form. The correct form includes:
i. The humerus of the arm of choice must be extended out fully
with the Radius and Ulna (the forearm) at a 90 angle to the humerus of the chosen arm.
ii. The head must be nestled in the nook between the forearm
and humerus created by the action described in Section 2.6.a.. The head must either be in contact with
both the humerus and forearm or must no more than 1 centimetre from said body parts.
g. In case ambiguity in interpreting 2.f.i, refer to PICTURE 1 below:

PICTURE 1
3. Bolting
a. A bolt is the consumption of any alcoholic beverage in its entirety, with the
intention of consuming said beverage in as short a time as possible.
b. If a bolt has not been undertaken within the span of 7 days and the individual
in question has 10 or more outstanding bolts, they must consume a shot of Absthin. If a bolt has not been
undertaken within a span of 7 days and the individual in question has 20 or more outstanding bolts, they must
purchase Rounds for the members of Core Squad.
4. Lapping
a. Lapping is the methodical circumnavigation of the inside of a venue,
attempting to stick to as close to the edges of the available and accessible space.
b. Lapping must always be conducted in an anti-clockwise manner, from right
to left around the widest possible perimeter of the inside of any establishment.
5. Dodging them feelings
a. Dodging can be used in relation to the male, female or non-gender identifying
individuals.
b. Such individuals can be further categorised into Fuckbois and Softbois, a
term that is not exclusive any gender.
c. There are no other categories of person. Exception E.G who will from
henceforth be known as The Legend.
d. Fuckboi (Boi) is the term given to a self-confessing person and relates but is
not exclusive to someone who categorically dodges feelings and knows that they are not yet suitable marriage
material. They are manipulating dicks who do whatever it takes to benefit themselves, regardless of whomever
they screw over. They will screw over anyone and everyone as long they get what they want.They fulfil their
role in the following ways:
i. Confessing they are a Fuckboi; or
ii. Using snapchat as their only form of communication so all
evidence can be erased; or
iii. In addition this is the prime platform to ask the most
romantic question of them all, Send Nudes?.
e. A Fuckboi will employ a tactical round of laps in which he/she/it attempts to
gauge the state of The Arena before engaging in chirpse for the evening until they successfully leave with a
victim.
i. A Fuckboi will only request the company of a partner under
the cover of darkness and will never stay for breakfast the following morning.
f. Softboi (Boi) is the term given to an individual who will not admit they are a
Fuckboi but operates in much the same manner. However, a Softboi:
i. They will convince the target that they are the only person
that they are having communications with;
ii. They will manipulate the target into getting feelings by
alluding to the idea that there is more to come such as daylight activity, up to but not including events
that may be considered dates; or
iii. The target will tell his/her friends about the Softboi and may
even allude to their presence to their parent/guardian because they feel like they are special.
g. Both Fuckbois and Softbois may referred to simply as Bois.
h. Dodging is the term given to the action of a squad member avoiding
emotional involvement with either of the above.
i. Dodging can be achieved in several ways however may have to be used in
conjunction with Section 2 Paragraph C, Section V.
j. When approached by either of the individuals set out in Section 6.d or
Section 6.h in any establishment regardless of whether alcoholic beverages can be purchased or via Snapchat, a
Core Squad Member must use one of the following tactics to dodge the feelings:
i. Dabbing them feelings away as per Section 2; or
ii. Lapping to avoid said Boi must be completed in accordance
with Section 4
iii. Ca Caa and other Core Squad Members will converge on
the location of the pronouncement of this ritual regardless of their current behaviour or location and
support the Core Squad Member in need of assistance.
iv. Providing the Boi with false contact details namely in the
form of incorrect Snapchat Usernames or Telephone numbers.
a. Snapchat is the preferred
communication medium for both Fuckbois and Softbois due to the temporary nature of the
messages sent
v. If a Boi does attempt to obtain any other forms of contact
details, then they have exceeded their jurisdiction and you must dab to save both parties the
embarrassment of such a travesty.
k. If a Core Squad Member has failed to activate any of the above preventative
measures, then they must employ the next stage of Dodging them feelings: Denial.
i. Denial may take the form of insisting Core Squad Member in
question is either friends or pals with the Boi in question.
a. Another Core Squad
Member will indicate, upon hearing of this excuse that this does not exist as only other Core
Squad Members are the only form of platonic relationships that can exist.
ii. Denial may also take the form of turning any exclusive social
gathering to involve other members of the core squad and exclusive social gatherings must turn into a
Sesh at The Arena for Section 5.n to be correctly implemented.
l. If a Core Squad Member is called out for unsuccessfully Dodging feelings
and are in the stage of Denial, that Core Squad Member must answer every question regarding their relationship
with any Boi with just banter because, at the end of the day, when all is said and done, its just banter.
6. Core Squad
a. Core Squad contains the following individuals:
i. BEV
ii. EG
iii. #420
iv. #DAB
v. SESH
vi. DODGE
vii. PAV
b. Rounds is the purchasing of any of the following beverages for a member of
Core Squads:
i. Jger Bombs
ii. Shots
iii. Any beverage that resembles a VK
iv. Any drink that contains at least 4% alcohol
v. Bottles of wine
vi. Purchasing of a Long Island Ice-Tea is prohibited under Section 8
c. Referring to a member of Core Squad by any other name than that listed in
6.a. will result in the imposition of a punishment if more than five out of seven members of Core Squad are in
the same establishment, regardless of if they are in proximity of said breach.
7. Precedent
a. To remain compatible with the morals and opinions of the Core Squad as they
develop, The Sesh Act 2017 c.1 will be subject to amendments, additions, and revisions throughout its life.
b. Amendments, additions, and revisions must be debated, scrutinised in their
applicability, effectiveness and feasibility before the Sesh Act 2017 c.1 may be amended, added to, or revised.
i. Five out of seven Core Squad members must agree on an amendment, addition, or revision before the Sesh Act 2017
c.1 may be amended, added to, or revised.
8. Human Rights
a. In the determination of his civil rights and obligations or of any criminal
charge against him, everyone is entitled to a fair and public hearing as to their breach under the Sesh Act 2017
c.1 within a reasonable time by independent and impartial tribunal constituted Core Squad members established
by law.
b. Judgment shall be pronounced publicly either in Core Squad Snapchat group
or Core Squad Facebook Messenger chat but the press and public at large may be excluded from all or part of
the trial in the interest of morals, public order or national security in a democratic society, where the interests of
the Core Squad Member in breach or the protection of the private life of the Core Squad Member so require, or
to the extent strictly necessary in the opinion of the court in special circumstances where publicity would
prejudice the interests of justice.
c. A Core Squad Member in charge or proposing an amendment, addition, or
revision of the Sesh Act 2017 c.1, before informing the other Core Squad Members:
i. Make a statement to the effect that in his view the provisions of the Bill are compatible with the Convention rights (a
statement of compatibility); or
ii. Make a statement to the effect that although he is unable to make a statement of compatibility the government
nevertheless wishes the Core Squad to proceed with the amendment, addition, or revision.
d. The statement must be in writing and be published in such manner as the
Minister making it considers appropriate either on the Core Squad Snapchat group or Core Squad Facebook
Messenger chat.