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Rowen Lin

February 13, 2017

Paulson 8H Core B

Advocacy Essay

Muslim Discrimination in America

She was new at the school. Her head covered by a hijab, and her body covered in

complete black. She was holding the hand of her mother who was dressed almost exactly the

same. However, only their eyes were visible. My teacher quickly stepped up and introduced

herself, Hi, I am Mrs. Fullerton, welcome to Irvine Homeschool. She extended her hand and

the mother reached out and softly shook it. How can I help you? The mother quickly scanned

the playground filled with staring children. Um. . .my daughter would like to join this school,

she does not like public school and cant get along with other children. Her voice was shaky,

like english was her second language. Mrs. Fullerton smiled, Sure, why dont we have a quick

talk in my office. Your daughter can remain here and get to know the other students. The

mother turned and spoke to the girl in another language. She nodded and started towards us.

Beside me, I heard David whisper, let's hope she doesnt have a gun up her sleeve or we will all

be dead. I glanced at the girl and noticed that she had turned stiff. She then rambled off talking

gibberish. Moments later, she started to cry. She then ran to her mother and told them the

incident. My teacher then scolded David. At that time, I didnt realize what David had really

mean and why he got scolded for it. Everyone knew it was meant as a joke, but the new girl

didnt think so. But now, as an older person with more experience, I have come to a conclusion
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that it has a deeper meaning. Although it was meant as a joke, it was a hurtful comment. She was

being discriminated for her religion. Instead of discriminating, look at their characteristics, their

personality, and judge them from that.

Approximately 0.00625% of the Muslim population consist of extremists who engage in

terrorist activities around the globe (Bergen, Schneider). Because of the actions of these

terrorists, there are some who associate all Muslims with these extremists. Just because there are

some extremists that cause a large amount of havoc, doesnt mean that they all do. Instead of

banning them from America and judging them by their religion, we should judge them by their

personalities, their qualities, and give them a fair and equal chance they deserve. Fortunately,

82% of the American population believe that Muslims are being discriminated against (Gregg).

Additionally, it would be considered unconstitutional under the first amendment to ban Muslims

for their religion. Besides being unconstitutional, it also goes against the very belief the people

wanted when they broke free from Great Britain. They wanted equality for all, and enshrined this

idea in the Declaration of Independence.

There are some that assume that all Muslims support and encourage the actions of

terrorist groups, however that is not the case. In fact, most Muslims have an unfavorable view of

extremists (Lipka). Recent surveys show that most people in several countries with significant

Muslim populations have an unfavorable view of ISIS, including virtually all respondents in

Lebanon and 94% in Jordan. . . More generally, Muslims mostly say that suicide bombings and

other forms of violence against civilians in the name of Islam are rarely or never justified,

including 92% in Indonesia and 91% in Iraq. In the United States, a 2011 survey found that 86%

of Muslims say that such tactics are rarely or never justified. (Lipka) Even though President
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Trump may want to make sure that America stays safe, banning Muslims from the countries in

his executive order does not support his strategy. On the other hand, countries that are more

supportive of terrorists were not included in the ban. According to Michael Lipka, . . .higher in

Nigeria (14%) than most other nations. Among Nigerian Muslims, 20% say they see ISIS

favorably. . . In a few countries, a quarter or more of Muslims say that these acts of violence are

at least sometimes justified, including 40% in the Palestinian territories, 39% in Afghanistan,

29% in Egypt and 26% in Bangladesh. Necessary precautions are reasonable, if justified with

data and facts and not by religion as protected by the First Amendment.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the

free exercise thereof. . . Based on the text of the First Amendment, religious freedom is a

fundamental right for all who live in America. Although President Trumps executive order does

not violate the First Amendment, his order lacks factual support and can be seen as unjustified.

There is currently no indication that the countries mentioned in the executive order is more of a

threat than other Muslim nations (Lipka). As such, why would they have been targeted and not

countries that have been proven to harbor and support terrorists as mentioned previously

(Lipka)? Regardless of the facts, there is equally strong support for his immigration ban. For the

supporters, this ban is a needed pause as the U.S. reconsiders its strategy against extremists.

In conclusion, judging by religion is the wrong thing to do, it is unconstitutional, and the

fact that 82% of Americans know is astonishing. The right thing to do is that we should try, at

least try to judge them by their character. One way to be able to solve this problem is to educate

educate everyone on religious discrimination, especially in America. At first my stance on this

particular topic was neutral, feeling that they were treated the same as everyone else, not that big
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of a deal, but now, after much research, I have realized that Muslims are treated unfairly and

should be treated equally. From the Declaration of Independence, We hold these truths to be

self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain

unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
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Works Cited

Gregg, Christina. "Americans Believe Muslims Face the Most Discrimination in the US, New

Survey Says." AOL.com. Sarah Harvard, 09 Dec. 2016. Web.

Lipka, Michael. "Muslims and Islam: Key Findings in the U.S. and around the World." Pew

Research Center. N.p., 22 July 2016. Web.

Schneider, Peter Bergen and Emily. "Jihadist Threat Not as Big as You Think." CNN. Cable

News Network, 29 Sept. 2014. Web.

Rubric rating submitted on: 2/18/2017, 10:21:43 AM by kapaulson@mytusd.org

4 3.5 3 2.5 2 1.5 1 0

Organizat The The The The Unintelli

ion/ response response response response gible, in a
Focus & has a has an has an has little language
Purpose clear and evident inconsiste or no other than
Your effective organizati nt discernibl English,
score: 3.5 organizati onal organizati e off-topic,
onal structure onal organizati copied
structure, and a structure, onal text,
creating a sense of and flaws structure. off-purpo
sense of complete are The se
unity and ness, evident. response
complete though the may be
ness. The there may response related to
response be minor is the claim
is fully flaws, somewha but may
sustained, and some t provide
and ideas may sustained little or
consistent be and may no focus.
ly and loosely have a
purposefu connecte minor
lly d. The drift in
focused. response focus.
is
adequatel
y
sustained
and
generally
focused.
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Evidence/ The The The The Unintelli

Elaborati response response response response gible, in a
on provides provides provides provides language
Your thorough adequate uneven/c minimal other than
score: 3.5 and support/ ursory support/ English,
convincin evidence support/ evidence off-topic,
g support/ for evidence for copied
evidence theargum for the theargum text,
for the ent(s) and argument ent(s) and off-purpo
argument claim that (s) and claim that se
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claim that the use of includes little or
includes sources partial or no use of
the (facts, uneven sources
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and adequatel details). response'
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The expresses response n of ideas
response ideas, expresses is vague,
clearly using a s ideas lacks
and mix of unevenly, clarity, or
effectivel precise using is
y with simplistic confusing
expresses more language. .
ideas, general
using language.
precise
language.

Conventi n/a n/a The The Unintelli

ons response response gible, in a
Your demonstr demonstr language
score: 1.5 ates an ates other than
adequate partial English,
command command off-topic,
of of copied
conventio conventio text,
ns ns off-purpo
including including se
correct limited
sentence use of
formation correct
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punctuati formation
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on, ,
capitaliza punctuati
tion, on,
grammar, capitaliza
usage, tion,
and grammar,
spelling. usage,
MLA and
formattin spelling.
g is MLA
evident formattin
througho g is
ut. somewha
Sources t evident
are but
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or
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Comments:
Very effective use of a scenario to introduce the issue
Descriptions are well-written
Some of the organization within paragraphs is unclear
Are all sources cited?
Some formatting issues
Rubric rating submitted on: 3/14/2017, 11:43:12 AM by kapaulson@mytusd.org
4 3.5 3 2.5 2 1.5 1 0

Organizat The The The The Unintelli

ion/ response response response response gible, in a
Focus & has a has an has an has little language
Purpose clear and evident inconsiste or no other than
Your effective organizati nt discernibl English,
score: 4 organizati onal organizati e off-topic,
onal structure onal organizati copied
structure, and a structure, onal text,
creating a sense of and flaws structure. off-purpo
sense of complete are The se
unity and ness, evident. response
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complete though the may be

ness. The there may response related to
response be minor is the claim
is fully flaws, somewha but may
sustained, and some t provide
and ideas may sustained little or
consistent be and may no focus.
ly and loosely have a
purposefu connecte minor
lly d. The drift in
focused. response focus.
is
adequatel
y
sustained
and
generally
focused.

Evidence/ The The The The Unintelli

Elaborati response response response response gible, in a
on provides provides provides provides language
Your thorough adequate uneven/c minimal other than
score: 4 and support/ ursory support/ English,
convincin evidence support/ evidence off-topic,
g support/ for evidence for copied
evidence theargum for the theargum text,
for the ent(s) and argument ent(s) and off-purpo
argument claim that (s) and claim that se
(s) and includes claim that includes
claim that the use of includes little or
includes sources partial or no use of
the (facts, uneven sources
effective and use of (facts,
use of details). sources and
sources The (facts, details).
(facts, response and The
and adequatel details). response'
details). y The expressio
The expresses response n of ideas
response ideas, expresses is vague,
clearly using a s ideas lacks
and mix of unevenly, clarity, or
effectivel precise using is
y with simplistic confusing
expresses more language. .
ideas, general
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using language.
precise
language.

Conventi n/a n/a The The Unintelli

ons response response gible, in a
Your demonstr demonstr language
score: 2 ates an ates other than
adequate partial English,
command command off-topic,
of of copied
conventio conventio text,
ns ns off-purpo
including including se
correct limited
sentence use of
formation correct
, sentence
punctuati formation
on, ,
capitaliza punctuati
tion, on,
grammar, capitaliza
usage, tion,
and grammar,
spelling. usage,
MLA and
formattin spelling.
g is MLA
evident formattin
througho g is
ut. somewha
Sources t evident
are but
accuratel uneven.
y cited. Sources
are
inadequat
ely cited
or
non-exist
ent

Comments: