Beruflich Dokumente
Kultur Dokumente
) is increasing at
a dangerous rate. What are causes and solutions?
I have indicated the key words in the task question in red colour.
Note for students: in each main paragraph, the topic sentence is followed by the sentences which
develop from plan to paragraph. The number in the plan is shown in the paragraph. This is how your
plan can develop into your paragraph.
Based on our identification of the key words, our plan will be something like this:
Introduce idea: global consumption of oil, water and other natural resources is increasing too rapidly.
There are several reasons, and solutions must be found.
Paragraph 2: [Causes]
[1] developing countries are now using more energy and gasoline [petrol] to produce more electricity,
transport for expanding economy. Individuals also use more natural resources similar consumption to
developed countries example: private cars, more electricity use in homes.
[2] costly to develop renewable energy price rises to fund this would be unpopular with voters.
Paragraph 3: [Solutions]
[1] Higher taxes to reduce demand. People will think more carefully if they have to pay more for what
they consume: example: water meters.
[3] educate individuals not to waste resources: turn off lights, dont leave water running.
It is true that global natural resources such as oil and water are being depleted at an alarming
rate. There are a number of reasons behind this phenomenon and several solutions should be
adopted to solve the problem.
There are two primary reasons why the worlds resources are being over-exploited. [1] Firstly,
developing countries nowadays are heavily dependent on natural resources to drive their
economy, especially in transportation and energy fields. As their citizens are getting wealthier,
their demand for energy consumption is increasing to the level of demand in developed
countries, in terms of gas for cars, and electricity for bigger homes and offices. [2] Secondly, it is
easier to use natural resources rather than spending money to develop and convert sustainable
alternatives, like solar or wind energy. Politicians fear to risk unpopularity by raising energy
prices to fund such developments.
Some measures should be taken to mitigate the problem of overconsumption of these resources.
[1] One step is that governments must impose a higher tax on the use of natural resources to
reduce the demand. By raising tax, peoples pockets are affected directly, thus, they will use
these resources more responsibly. For example, water meters should be installed in homes and
workplaces. [2] Another essential measure is to develop and introduce renewable sources like
solar or wind energy as alternatives.. These clean energies not only minimize human reliance on
the Earths natural resources but also help protect the environment. [3] Furthermore, individuals
must be educated to use vital resources sparingly and wisely. Even simple things like not
leaving taps running or leaving lights switched on unnecessarily can all help reduce
consumption.
In conclusion, the overuse of the worlds resources is a big problem for all countries and
solutions should be implemented urgently to tackle this issue.
293 words
(14/11/2015) S tiu th cc ngun ti nguyn ca th gii (nh du m hay nc, vv.) ang
ngy mt tng ln mc bo ng. Nguyn nhn v gii php l g?
P N:
C mt s tht l cc ngun ti nguyn t nhin ton cu nh du m v nc ang b cn kit
mc bo ng. C nhiu nguyn nhn ng nhau hin tng ny v nhiu gii php cn c p
dng gii quyt vn t ra.
C hai l do chnh gii thch ti sao cc ngun ti nguyn ca th gii ang b khai thc qu
mc. Trc ht, cc nc ang pht trin ngy nay ang da dm ch yu vo cc ngun ti
nguyn thin nhin xoay chuyn nn kinh t, c bit lnh vc vn ti v nng lng. Do c
dn cc nc ny ang tr nn giu c hn, nhu cu v tiu th nng lng cng tng dn n
mc nhu cu ca cc nc pht trin, nh xng xe, nng lng in cho nhng ngi nh v
vn phng ln hn. Th hai, s dng cc ngun ti nguyn thin nhin d dng hn so vi u t
pht trin v chuyn sang cc gii php thay th bn vng khc nh nng lng gi hay mt tri.
Cc chnh tr gia quan ngi ri ro nh mt s tn nhim ca dn chng khi tng gi thnh nng
lng cung cp cho cc d n pht trin nh vy.
VOCABULARY
depleted (cn kit): [verb] reduced by a large amount, so that there is not much left.
Example: Food supplies were severely depleted as a result of the dry weather.
Drive (xoay chuyn): [verb] to influence something and cause it to move in a certain
direction.
Example: Money from international banks is the main factor driving investment in this
country.
Sustainable (bn vng): [adjective] involving the use of natural products or energy in a
way that does not harm the environment.
Example: Sustainable management of our forests depends on planting more native trees
than we cut down.
Renewable (ti to): [adjective] replaced naturally or controlled carefully to ensure that
something is never completely destroyed.
Example: Because the sun will always shine and the wind will always blow, solar and
wind energy are both renewable energy sources.
Sparingly (tit kim): [adverb] in a way that is careful only to use a little of something.
Example: We should use water sparingly, because it is a resource that is essential to
sustain life.
Implement (p dng): [verb] to make something that has been officially decided start to
happen.
Example: A new work programme for young people will be implemented by the
government.
Based on our identification of the key words, our plan will be something like this:
Introduce idea: there is competition between younger and older people for jobs. This creates
problems for older workers, but measures can be taken to help them government and
individuals can act. Conclusion: repeat using some different words.
Paragraph 2:
[2] Problem 2: younger people adapt more easily to changes in work practices - result: stress
of coping with these changes affects health of older workers.
Paragraph 3:
[1] Measure 1: government can stop discrimination against older workers by passing laws
example.
[2] Measure 2: older individuals can adopt positive attitudes to changes at work young
colleagues can help them.
It is true that fierce competition in the job market between older people and their younger
counterparts has become an increasingly widespread concern. Several problems have resulted
from this tendency and they should be tackled by a number of effective solutions from both
individuals and the government.
Competing with the young, the older generation has to face up to two main issues. [1] Firstly,
due to age discrimination, older people often suffer more disadvantages when seeking the
same positions as young candidates, even when they have similar abilities and qualifications. As
a result, a number of them become unemployed, which prevents them from meeting basic human
needs. [2] Secondly, old employees might be under strong pressure, stemming from the fact that
their young colleagues seem to be more creative and adapt themselves to changes at the
workplace more easily than they could do. This may lead to both physical and psychological
problems, including heart disease and depression.
Since such issues are serious, the government and individuals should take steps immediately to
address these problems. [1] The first solution is that the government should encourage
enterprises to apply the Age Discrimination in Employment Act of 1967 in order to protect
employees who are 40 years old or more from employment discrimination based on age. As a
result, they would be given greater opportunities to find suitable jobs and earn a living. [2] On
an individual level, older workers should be willing to update their skills through attending
training courses. If younger colleagues also help them to adapt to changes in the working
environment, older workers will gain confidence and improve their work performance.
In conclusion, there are various negative consequences of increasing rivalry between the old and
the young in the job market and appropriate steps need to be taken to tackle these problems, not
only by the government but also by individuals.
307 words
(11/4/2015) Nhng ngi ln tui ang cn vic lm phi cnh tranh vi nhng ngi tr
tui hn. Nhng vn g c th xy ra? Gii php l g?
P N:
S tht l cuc cnh tranh khc lit trong th trng vic lm gia ngi ln tui v nhng i
th tr tui hn v ang dn tr thnh mt vn ph bin. Nhiu vn ny sinh t
khuynh hng ny v cn c gii quyt bi mt vi bin php hiu qu t c cc c nhn ln
chnh ph.
Khi cnh tranh vi nhng ngi tr tui, ngi th h i trc phi i mt vi hai vn
chnh. Th nht, do s phn bit tui tc, ngi ln tui hn thng phi chu nhiu bt li khi
tm kim nhng v tr tng ng ging nhng ng c vin tr, thm ch khi h ch c nng lc
v bng cp ngang nga. Do , mt vi ngi trong s h b tht nghip v khng c p ng
nhu cu c bn ca con ngi. Th hai, nhng nhn vin ln tui c kh nng b p lc nng n,
bt ngun t thc t l nhng ng nghip tr tui dng nh sng to v d thch nghi vi thay
i ca mi trng lm vic hn h. iu ny dn n c nhng vn v tm l ln th cht,
bao gm bnh tim mch v trm cm.
Tm li, c nhiu nguyn nhn tiu cc ca s gia tng cnh tranh gia nhng ngi ln tui v
tr tui trong th trng lao ng v nhng bin php ph hp cn thit cn c p dng gii
quyt nhng vn ny khng ch bi chnh ph m cn l cc c nhn.
counterpart (i phng, ngi cng cp bc)= a person who has the same position or
function as someone else in a different place or situation.
Example: The President is having discussions with his Chinese counterpart.
age discrimination (phn bit tui tc)= the practice of treating older people unfairly
compared with young people.
Example: The government passed a law prohibiting age discrimination by employers.
depression (bnh trm cm)= an illness, when a person feels very sad or anxious.
Example: He suffered from depression after losing his job.
earn a living (kim sng)= to get money for the work that you do.
Example: He was out of work for many years, but now he earns a living by selling hot
dogs.
rivalry (cnh tranh)= a situation in which people are competing for the same thing.
Example: In Spain, there is a great rivalry between the football teams of Madrid and Barcelona.
Conclusion
Nhc li nu ra cu 2 phn m bi
It is true that tourists from many parts of the world pay more visits to museums and historical
places than local inhabitants. There are many reasons for this, but this situation should be
addressed by attractinglocals in some practical ways.
There are two main reasons why museums and historical sites are preferred more by tourists than
by local residents. One reason is that museums are too familiar to the locals. If museums do not
change anything, there will be nothing new for the locals to discover. Like eating the same dish
every single day, they feel bored with visiting the same places. Furthermore, entrance tickets at
some historical sites are expensive for the local inhabitants to afford. For example, in Dien Bien,
a province in northwestern Vietnam, it is rather hard for the residents to make ends meet, let
alone to spend money on visiting some famous historical attractions there.
The government should take some measures/steps to tackle this issue effectively. Firstly,
museums ought to be invested in more by the authorities to refresh the exhibits . The fresher
the exhibitions are, the more local residents will be interested in them. Secondly, historical relics
need to be free for all the local people. Without worrying about additional expenditures,
residents will pay more to visit historical sites in order to broaden their knowledge about their
home towns.
In conclusion, there are some known reasons for this trend. However, something should be done
by the authorities to attract more visitors from the local areas.
252 words
COMMENT
You put forward two clear and strong reasons why more locals do not visit museums and historical sites.
You explained both of these and used a great example [Dien Bien]. In paragraph 3, you suggested
solutions for both of these problems in turn. I cannot think of any better or clearer arguments than those
which you used, Bach.This was the other part of your essay. The techniques that you used showed that
you had planned and organised your answer carefully.
Again, there is nothing that I would change: the paragraph structure [as we have already noted] is logical
and the topic sentences indicate perfectly the main idea in each paragraph. Your arguments are
signposted clearly for the examiner: you used One reason/Furthermore in paragraph 2 and
Firstly/Secondly in paragraph 3.
As you developed your explanations, the sentences linked perfectly with each other, using varied sentence
structures and natural, fluent language.
P N:
Thc t cho thy du khch t khp ni trn th gii n thm cc di tch lch s cng nh vin
bo tng nhiu hn so vi c dn bn a. D y l h qu t nhiu nguyn nhn, tnh trng ny
c th c ci thin bng vic thu ht ngi dn nh cc hnh ng thit thc.
C hai l do chnh khin cho vin bo tng cng nh cc di tch lch s c khch du lch u i
hn l ngi dn a phng. L do u tin l vin bo tng qu quen thuc i vi ngi
dn. Nu cc vin bo tng khng c s i mi, ngi dn s khng thy c nhng iu mi
l khm ph. Ging nh vic n i n li mt mn mi ngy, h cm thy chn nn khi tham
quan i tham quan li nhng a im khng c g thay i. Hn th na, v vo ca ti cc khu
di tch lch s kh t so vi kh nng chi tr ca ngi dn a phng. V d nh in Bin,
mt tnh vng Ty Bc Vit Nam, ngi dn kim n kh, ni g n vic ch dnh tin
cho vic tham quan cc di tch lch s ni y.
Cc cp chnh quyn nn c nhng bin php gii quyt vn ny mt cch hiu qu. Th
nht, cc vin bo tng cn c u t nhiu hn bi cc nh chc trch cp nht thm cc
hin vt trng by. Vin bo tng cng i mi th cng nhiu ngi dn quan tm hng th n
n. Th hai, cc di tch lch s cn c m ca min ph cho dn. Khng phi lo lng v chi
ph, ngi dn s tham quan thm nhiu di tch lch s hn na m rng hiu bit v chnh
qu hng h.
VOCABULARY
pay more visits (tham quan nhiu hn): to pay a visit just means to go to some place, to
make a visit, to visit
Example: They have been paying more visits to museums ever since they decided to learn
more about art.
historical places (di tch lch s): places that have historical value due to some important
events in the past
Example: On their trip to Cambodia, they visited a variety of historical places, including
Angkor Wat.
local inhabitants (dn a phng): the people who live in the town
practical ways (bin php thit thc): a way of doing something that has practice value,
that is rational or logical
Example: The book I read talked about many practical ways to lose weight. I am going to
try some of them.
rather hard (tng i kh khn): quite difficult, used express that something is indeed
hard
Example: I find it rather hard to study more than four hours per day.
make ends meet (kim n kim sng): to make enough money to pay all the bills
Example: He has been having a hard time making ends meet over the last few months.
refresh the exhibits (cp nht cc hin vt): bring in new works of art or other to show
to the public
Example: The museum curator likes to refresh the exhibits every two months.
additional expenditures (cc chi ph ph thm): expenses that are in addition to other
basic expenses
Example: The additional expenditures will total $10,000 by the end of the project.
broaden their knowledge about (m rng hiu bit): to learn more about something
Example: The students will broaden their knowledge about other cultures by traveling to
other countries.
known reasons (l do quen thuc): reasons that people already know about, that they are
familiar with
Example: There are many known reasons for the lack of interest in electoral politics, like
the fact that only rich people can run for president.
attract more visitors (thu ht thm nhiu khch du lch): to get more people to come
to visit
Example: One of the goals of the museum this year is to attract more visitors from
neighboring towns and villages.
ANSWER:
In recent years, the decision of parents to start a family later in life has become an increasingly
popular trend. There are a number of reasons for this trend, which is having a significant
impact on both family life and on the community as a whole.
There are two important reasons why more people nowadays are deciding against having
children when they are young. Firstly, rather than embarking on parenthood, many individuals
consider that building their own successful careers is top-priority. If they had to split their
time between working and bringing up their offspring when they were in the early stages of
their careers, their performance at work and promotion prospects could be negatively affected.
Secondly, delaying childbirth could give young people countless opportunities to enjoy their
lives. For example, this choice may let young couples have a richer social life, pursue their
interests and hobbies or even to travel the world.
However, this tendency could have negative consequences in terms of both family life and
society. An important concern for a family is that raising children could be a huge challenge
for older parents. Even though they might have a high socioeconomic status, as well as great
experience and knowledge, it may not be easy for them to communicate with and relate to their
children, due to the generation gap. Another negative factor is that getting pregnant after 35
years of age oftentimes carries more potential health risks. Specifically, this could increase
the danger of having a miscarriage or stillbirth for older mothers, and babies might be at greater
risk of having Downs syndrome. Consequently, this could negatively affect the quality of the
future workforce.
In conclusion, there are a number of reasons why more and more people prefer giving birth later
in life. As a result, there could be negative influences on individual families and the society at
large.
312 words
COMMENT
This is an excellent essay with a lot of strong points. I have never seen this topic before. It is a
very interesting one. I hope that you dont mind if I e-mail Simon with this topic question [not
your essay, of course]. Let me know.
In paragraph 2, you suggested two very relevant reasons for this trend. You explained both of
them fully and you supported your second point with an example. In paragraph 3, you focused
exclusively on negative impacts. You argued both point convincingly and at length, again giving
real-life examples to support your ideas.
As your sentences were also linked very smoothly, my score for task response is 9 and for
coherence/cohesion my score is 9.
VOCABULARY
to start a family later in life (lp gia nh mun): to begin a family later rather than
earlier; in the past couples used to start their families at younger ages, like 22, 23 or 24;
nowadays they are having babies, which is how you start a family, in their late 20s or
even 30s and 40s; They decided to start a family later in life, preferring to work on their
careers during their 20s and early 30s. They finally had their first baby when they were
both 38 years old.
increasingly popular trend (xu hng ph bin ngy cng gia tng): increasingly
means more and more so, as in something is happening more often, popular means that a
lot of people are doing it; and a trend is something that a lot of people do at once, like a
fad or a style; in this case it means that something is being done by more and more people
at this time; Taking a gap year before going to university is an increasingly popular
trend among young people.
having a significant impact on (c nh hng su sc/ln ti): significant means to be
important or notable; to have an impact on means to affect something in some way, either
positively or negatively; This heat is having a significant impact on our ability to work
outside. Its just too hot!
community as a whole (cng ng chung): a community is a group of people, can refer
to a small or large group of people, like a neighborhood, school or church community or
as a large group of people, like a city, a culture, a nation of people; The mayor wants to
work with the community as a whole, rather than with just a few special interest groups
here and there.
deciding against (quyt nh khng): to decide means to make a decision or a choice
about something; against means to make a decision not in favor of something; They are
deciding against going to Europe this summer. Instead, they are going to stay home and
take summer school classes.
embarking on parenthood (bt u tr thnh bc cha m): to embark on something
means to start something; in this case it means to become a parent; parenthood is what
you call the role of being a parent; you are always a parent once you have children, but
this refers to the time you spend raising them; childhood is they time period when you