29/01/2017 18BehaviorsofEmotionallyIntelligentPeopleMotto

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18BehaviorsofEmotionallyIntelligentPeople
ByTravisBradberry/Inc.
Feb.12,2016

Emotionalintelligenceisahugedriverofsuccess

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Whenemotionalintelligence(EQ)firstappearedtothemasses,itservedasthemissinglinkinapeculiarfinding:peoplewithaverageIQs
outperformthosewiththehighestIQs70percentofthetime.Thisanomalythrewamassivewrenchintothebroadlyheldassumptionthat
IQwasthesolesourceofsuccess.

Decadesofresearchnowpointtoemotionalintelligenceasbeingthecriticalfactorthatsetsstarperformersapartfromtherestofthepack.
Theconnectionissostrongthat90percentoftopperformershavehighemotionalintelligence.

Emotionalintelligenceisthesomethingineachofusthatisabitintangible.Itaffectshowwemanagebehavior,navigatesocial
complexities,andmakepersonaldecisionstoachievepositiveresults.

DespitethesignificanceofEQ,itsintangiblenaturemakesitdifficulttomeasureandtoknowwhattodotoimproveitifyourelacking.
Youcanalwaystakeascientificallyvalidatedtest,suchastheonethatcomeswiththeEmotionalIntelligence2.0book,butunfortunately,
mostsuchtestsarentfree.So,IveanalyzedthedatafromthemillionpluspeopleTalentSmarthastestedinordertoidentifythebehaviors
thatarethehallmarksofahighEQ.WhatfollowsaresuresignsthatyouhaveahighEQ.
http://motto.time.com/4117921/emotionalintelligencesigns/?xid=time_socialflow_facebook 1/10
29/01/2017 18BehaviorsofEmotionallyIntelligentPeopleMotto
1.Youhavearobustemotionalvocabulary
Allpeopleexperienceemotions,butitisaselectfewwhocanaccuratelyidentifythemastheyoccur.Ourresearchshowsthatonly36
percentofpeoplecandothis,whichisproblematicbecauseunlabeledemotionsoftengomisunderstood,whichleadstoirrationalchoices
andcounterproductiveactions.

PeoplewithhighEQsmastertheiremotionsbecausetheyunderstandthem,andtheyuseanextensivevocabularyoffeelingstodoso.While
manypeoplemightdescribethemselvesassimplyfeelingbad,emotionallyintelligentpeoplecanpinpointwhethertheyfeelirritable,
frustrated,downtrodden,oranxious.Themorespecificyourwordchoice,thebetterinsightyouhaveintoexactlyhowyouare
feeling,whatcausedit,andwhatyoushoulddoaboutit.

2.Yourecuriousaboutpeople
Itdoesntmatteriftheyreintrovertedorextroverted,emotionallyintelligentpeoplearecuriousabouteveryonearoundthem.Thiscuriosity
istheproductofempathy,oneofthemostsignificantgatewaystoahighEQ.Themoreyoucareaboutotherpeopleandwhattheyregoing
through,themorecuriosityyouregoingtohaveaboutthem.

3.Youembracechange
Emotionallyintelligentpeopleareflexibleandareconstantlyadapting.Theyknowthatfearofchangeisparalyzingandamajorthreatto
theirsuccessandhappiness.Theylookforchangethatislurkingjustaroundthecorner,andtheyformaplanofactionshouldthesechanges
occur.

4.Youknowyourstrengthsandweaknesses
Emotionallyintelligentpeopledontjustunderstandemotionstheyknowwhattheyregoodatandwhattheyreterribleat.Theyalsoknow
whopushestheirbuttonsandtheenvironments(bothsituationsandpeople)thatenablethemtosucceed.HavingahighEQmeansyouknow
yourstrengthsandhowtoleanintoandusethemtoyourfulladvantagewhilekeepingyourweaknessesfromholdingyouback.

5.Youreagoodjudgeofcharacter
Muchofemotionalintelligencecomesdowntosocialawarenesstheabilitytoreadotherpeople,knowwhattheyreabout,andunderstand
whattheyregoingthrough.Overtime,thisskillmakesyouanexceptionaljudgeofcharacter.Peoplearenomysterytoyou.Youknow
whattheyreallaboutandunderstandtheirmotivations,eventhosethatliehiddenbeneaththesurface.

Inc.com:WhyYouNeedEmotionalIntelligencetoSucceed

6.Youaredifficulttooffend
Ifyouhaveafirmgraspofwhoyouare,itsdifficultforsomeonetosayordosomethingthatgetsyourgoat.Emotionallyintelligentpeople
areselfconfidentandopenminded,whichcreatesaprettythickskin.Youmayevenpokefunatyourselforletotherpeoplemakejokes
aboutyoubecauseyouareabletomentallydrawthelinebetweenhumoranddegradation.

7.Youknowhowtosayno(toyourselfandothers)
Emotionalintelligencemeansknowinghowtoexertselfcontrol.Youdelaygratificationandavoidimpulsiveaction.Researchconductedat
theUniversityofCalifornia,SanFrancisco,showsthatthemoredifficultythatyouhavesayingno,themorelikelyyouaretoexperience
stress,burnout,andevendepression.Sayingnoisamajorselfcontrolchallengeformanypeople,butNoisapowerfulwordthatyou
shouldunafraidtowield.Whenitstimetosayno,emotionallyintelligentpeopleavoidphrasessuchasIdontthinkIcanorImnot
certain.Sayingnotoanewcommitmenthonorsyourexistingcommitmentsandgivesyoutheopportunitytosuccessfullyfulfillthem.

8.Youletgoofmistakes
Emotionallyintelligentpeopledistancethemselvesfromtheirmistakes,butdosowithoutforgettingthem.Bykeepingtheirmistakesata
safedistance,yetstillhandyenoughtoreferto,theyareabletoadaptandadjustforfuturesuccess.Ittakesrefinedselfawarenesstowalk
thistightropebetweendwellingandremembering.Dwellingtoolongonyourmistakesmakesyouanxiousandgunshy,whileforgetting
aboutthemcompletelymakesyouboundtorepeatthem.Thekeytobalanceliesinyourabilitytotransformfailuresintonuggetsof
improvement.Thiscreatesthetendencytogetrightbackupeverytimeyoufalldown.

9.Yougiveandexpectnothinginreturn
Whensomeonegivesyousomethingspontaneously,withoutexpectinganythinginreturn,thisleavesapowerfulimpression.Forexample,
youmighthaveaninterestingconversationwithsomeoneaboutabook,andwhenyouseethemagainamonthlater,youshowupwiththe
bookinhand.Emotionallyintelligentpeoplebuildstrongrelationshipsbecausetheyareconstantlythinkingaboutothers.

10.Youdontholdgrudges
Thenegativeemotionsthatcomewithholdingontoagrudgeareactuallyastressresponse.Justthinkingabouttheeventsendsyourbody
intofightorflightmode,asurvivalmechanismthatforcesyoutostandupandfightorrunforthehillswhenfacedwithathreat.Whenthe
threatisimminent,thisreactionisessentialtoyoursurvival,butwhenthethreatisancienthistory,holdingontothatstresswreakshavocon
yourbodyandcanhavedevastatinghealthconsequencesovertime.Infact,researchersatEmoryUniversityhaveshownthatholdingonto
stresscontributestohighbloodpressureandheartdisease.Holdingontoagrudgemeansyoureholdingontostress,andemotionally
intelligentpeopleknowtoavoidthisatallcosts.Lettinggoofagrudgenotonlymakesyoufeelbetternowbutcanalsoimproveyour
health.

Inc.com:WhyYouShouldHireforEmotionalIntelligence

11.Youneutralizetoxicpeople
Dealingwithdifficultpeopleisfrustratingandexhaustingformost.ButhighEQindividualscontroltheirinteractionswithtoxicpeopleby
keepingtheirfeelingsincheck.Whentheyneedtoconfrontatoxicperson,theyapproachthesituationrationally.Theyidentifytheirown
emotionsanddontallowangerorfrustrationtofuelthechaos.Theyalsoconsiderthedifficultpersonsstandpointandareabletofind
solutionsandcommonground.Evenwhenthingscompletelyderail,emotionallyintelligentpeopleareabletotakethetoxicpersonwitha
grainofsalttoavoidlettinghimorherbringthemdown.

http://motto.time.com/4117921/emotionalintelligencesigns/?xid=time_socialflow_facebook 2/10
29/01/2017 18BehaviorsofEmotionallyIntelligentPeopleMotto
12.Youdontseekperfection
Emotionallyintelligentpeoplewontsetperfectionastheirtargetbecausetheyknowthatitdoesntexist.Humanbeings,byourverynature,
arefallible.Whenperfectionisyourgoal,yourealwaysleftwithanaggingsenseoffailurethatmakesyouwanttogiveuporreduceyour
effort.Youendupspendingtimelamentingwhatyoufailedtoaccomplishandshouldhavedonedifferentlyinsteadofmovingforward,
excitedaboutwhatyouveachievedandwhatyouwillaccomplishinthefuture.

13.Youappreciatewhatyouhave
Takingtimetocontemplatewhatyouregratefulforisntmerelytherightthingtodoitalsoimprovesyourmoodbyreducingthestress
hormonecortisol(insomecasesby23percent).ResearchconductedattheUniversityofCalifornia,Davis,foundthatpeoplewhowork
dailytocultivateanattitudeofgratitudeexperienceimprovedmood,energy,andphysicalwellbeing.Itslikelythatlowerlevelsofcortisol
playamajorroleinthis.

14.Youdisconnect
TakingregulartimeoffthegridisasignofahighEQbecauseithelpsyoutokeepyourstressundercontrolandtoliveinthemoment.
Whenyoumakeyourselfavailabletoyourwork24/7,youexposeyourselftoaconstantbarrageofstressors.Forcingyourselfofflineand
evengulp!turningoffyourphonegivesyourbodyandmindabreak.Studieshaveshownthatsomethingassimpleasanemailbreakcan
lowerstresslevels.Technologyenablesconstantcommunicationandtheexpectationthatyoushouldbeavailable24/7.Itisextremely
difficulttoenjoyastressfreemomentoutsideofworkwhenanemailwiththepowertobringyourthinking(read:stressing)backtowork
candropontoyourphoneatanymoment.

15.Youlimityourcaffeineintake
Drinkingexcessiveamountsofcaffeinetriggersthereleaseofadrenaline,whichistheprimarysourceofafightorflightresponse.The
fightorflightmechanismsidestepsrationalthinkinginfavorofafasterresponsetoensuresurvival.Thisisgreatwhenabearischasing
you,butnotsogreatwhenyourerespondingtoacurtemail.Whencaffeineputsyourbrainandbodyintothishyperarousedstateofstress,
youremotionsoverrunyourbehavior.Caffeineslonghalflifeensuresyoustaythiswayasittakesitssweettimeworkingitswayoutof
yourbody.HighEQindividualsknowthatcaffeineistrouble,andtheydontletitgetthebetterofthem.

Inc.com:5AspectsofEmotionalIntelligenceRequiredforEffectiveLeadership

16.Yougetenoughsleep
Itsdifficulttooverstatetheimportanceofsleeptoincreasingyouremotionalintelligenceandmanagingyourstresslevels.Whenyousleep,
yourbrainliterallyrecharges,shufflingthroughthedaysmemoriesandstoringordiscardingthem(whichcausesdreams)sothatyouwake
upalertandclearheaded.HighEQindividualsknowthattheirselfcontrol,attention,andmemoryareallreducedwhentheydontget
enoughortherightkindofsleep.So,theymakesleepatoppriority.

17.Youstopnegativeselftalkinitstracks
Themoreyouruminateonnegativethoughts,themorepoweryougivethem.Mostofournegativethoughtsarejustthatthoughts,not
facts.Whenitfeelslikesomethingalwaysorneverhappens,thisisjustyourbrainsnaturaltendencytoperceivethreats(inflatingthe
frequencyorseverityofanevent).Emotionallyintelligentpeopleseparatetheirthoughtsfromthefactsinordertoescapethecycleof
negativityandmovetowardapositive,newoutlook.

18.Youwontletanyonelimityourjoy
Whenyoursenseofpleasureandsatisfactionarederivedfromtheopinionsofotherpeople,youarenolongerthemasterofyourown
happiness.Whenemotionallyintelligentpeoplefeelgoodaboutsomethingtheyvedone,theywontletanyonesopinionsorsnideremarks
takethatawayfromthem.Whileitsimpossibletoturnoffyourreactionstowhatothersthink,youdonthavetocompareyourselfto
others,andyoucanalwaystakepeoplesopinionswithagrainofsalt.Thatway,nomatterwhatotherpeoplearethinkingordoing,your
selfworthcomesfromwithin.

ThisarticleoriginallyappearedonInc.com

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