Academic - Writing - Macquare University PDF

Effective academic writing
Source:
Calvin &
Hobbes
Overview of this workshop
Five features of
academic writing
structured
formal
evidence-based
critical
discipline-specific
COPYRIGHT LEARNING & TEACHING

3
CENTRE I LEARNING SKILLS GROUP 2015
Warm up article
Were not birds!
In a recent article published by The Guardian, writer Jason Wilson denounces Pete Evans Paleo diet by saying, Paleo isnt
a fad, its a cult that selectively denies the modern world.
While Wilsons judgement is too harsh, in my opinion, he does make a very good point. Why has modernity suddenly been
seized by an ideology that prides itself on regression?
The philosophical spine of paleo is that humanitys diet reached optimum nutritional value during the Paleolithic
period. It dictates that we must refrain from eating anything unavailable or evaded by Palaeolitic man, such as grains and
refined sugar.
Lets ignore the fact that the era in question sprawled across many centuries and cannot be compartmentalized into strict
dietary guidelines.
A sad reality, however, is that obesity has become the suicidal pandemic of our times. Even worse, obesity has boomed in the
last forty years and shows no signs of declaration.
So if fad diets do deter obesity are they really that damaging? And is paleo really a fad diet or a sustainable lifestyle?
I spoke with Frank Marino, Professor of Exercise Physiology at CSU and according to him,What paleo does is remove all
the processed carbohydrates from a diet and replaces them with natural food that includes a higher fat content.
I guess this means that when you enter Woolies, you should only shop in the fruit and vegetables, meat counter, and dairy
shelves. The rest of the shop will kill you very slowly.
But, Marino adds as a cure-all, a panacea, its (the paleo) is a recipe for disaster.
Extract adapted from: Jack Cameron Stanton http://grapeshotmq.com.au/2015/06
COPYRIGHT LEARNING & TEACHING CENTRE

4
I LEARNING SKILLS GROUP 2015
Warm up article (2)
Most people are simply not designed to eat pasta: evolutionary
explanations for obesity in the low-carbohydrate diet movement
Evolutionary nutrition is a relatively straightforward concept, based simply on the premise that the human
body has adapted to function best on the diet eaten in the Paleolithic era. The thrifty gene theory
(or thrifty gene hypothesis) is somewhat more complex. It suggests that feast-or-famine conditions during
human evolutionary development naturally selected for people whose bodies were efficient in their use of
food calories (those who could store excess energy as body fat for later use). Unfortunately, in
contemporary conditions of constant dietary abundance, the so-called thrifty gene predisposes people to
diabetes and obesity. This dual investment in human evolutionary origins and genetic design as the
guiding principles of proper nutrition mandates close attention to Paleolithic or primitive diet, which
therefore functions as the ultimate blueprint for contemporary low-carbohydrate regimes (Knight, 2005,
2006, 2008).
Both evolutionary nutrition and the thrifty gene theory are the subject of intense research and debate
outside the context of low-carbohydrate dieting. At their most extreme, evolutionary nutritionists
advocate a strict Paleo diet, excluding virtually all post-agricultural foods. Their maxim is could I eat this
if I were naked with a sharp stick on the savanna? (Audette, 1999 p.100). However, evolutionary nutrition
also encompasses less extreme low-carbohydrate regimes. All draw on the evolutionary nutrition model,
often in combination with the thrifty gene theory. Sears (1995) argues that the Paleolithic diet functions as
a kind of test case for human health.
Extract adapted from: Christine Knight, 2011, Most people are simply not designed to eat pasta:
evolutionary explanations for obesity in the low-carbohydrate diet movement, Public Understanding of Science, 20(5) 706-719
COPYRIGHT LEARNING & TEACHING

CENTRE I LEARNING SKILLS GROUP 2015 5
Warm up exercise guidelines
organise yourselves into groups of 3 or 4
read the text that you have been allocated
as a group decide what type of text you have been given
brainstorm the features of your text
check the textual features around the room and collect

the ones that best describe the features of your text

I LEARNING SKILLS GROUP 2015 6
Text features
Journal article Campus student newsletter
Formal (tone) Informal (tone)
Objective Subjective
Impersonal language/rational Personal/emotive language
Evidence-based(in-text citations) Opinion-based
Third person Personal pronouns
Statements Rhetorical questions
Evidence Generalisations
Formal language- Informal language-contractions,
concepts/theories/discipline specific general terms
Developed paragraphs Short/underdeveloped paragraphs

Sentences begin with conjunctions
(and, )
7
Effective academic writing is
structured
How would you structure

the following? Different
genres have
Letter specific
Blog rules or
Essay patterns of
Job application writing
Business report
Structured
OVERALL (MACRO) STRUCTURE
STRUCTURE OF AN ESSAY
Image: Curtin University, n.d.

9
Structured
ACTIVITY: PUT THE SENTENCES IN ORDER
A. In the UK, the distance walked per year by each individual has fallen
from 410 km year in 197576 to 323 km year in 2006.
B. These low levels of walking contribute to the overall decrease in
physical activity, in turn leading to a higher incidence of obesity and
diabetes.
C. Jobs themselves have become less physical, people are more likely
to take the lift than walk the stairs, and adults and children are more
likely to travel to work or school by car than to walk or bicycle.
D. One serious concern in the UK is the falling levels of physical
activity.
E. Similarly, the percentage of children aged 510 years walking to
school has decreased by 15% from 67% during 19851986 to 52% in
2006. Based on Barton, J., Hine, R. & Pretty, J. (2009) The health benefits of walking in greenspaces of high natural
and heritage value, Journal of Integrative Environmental Sciences, 6:4, 261-278, DOI:
10.1080/19438150903378425 10
Paragraph sequencing activity
Answers
Answer: 1.D, 2. C, 3. A, 4. E, 5. B
Main idea: physical activity has dropped
Jobs are less physical, commuting to work or school by car (less

walking)
Changes in distance walked over a year
Changes in number of students who walk to school
Low levels of walking related to overall decrease in physical activity
11
structured
OTHER FEATURES OF AN ACADEMIC PARAGRAPH
Help your reader with

1. Organisation of ideas
Generalspecific
Process (steps in the order they are done)
Chronology (time)
Compare/ contrast (similarities and
differences)
2. Linking words
Show how ideas relate to each other
12
structured
LINKING WORDS
Function Linking word/signpost

To introduce an additional idea And, another, also, too, moreover,
furthermore, as well as, additionally
Opposite idea
Example
Restatement or explanation
Conclusion or summary
Chronological order
Order of importance
Result or effect
Comparison
Concession
13
structured
LINKING WORDS- COMPLETE
Function Linking word/signpost

To introduce an additional idea And, another, also, too, moreover, furthermore,
as well as, additionally
Opposite idea In contrast, contrastingly, nonetheless
nevertheless
Example For example, exemplified, for instance,
highlighted, demonstrated, evidenced by
Restatement or explanation Indeed
Conclusion or summary In conclusion/summary, to conclude
Chronological order First of all, firstly, after that, since then, finally
Order of importance Above all, significantly, more importantly, most

importantly
Result or effect Accordingly, as a result, thus, hence,
therefore, it follows that
Comparison Similarly, likewise, both, also
Concession Despite, in spite of, though/although, however,

OFFICE I FACULTY I DEPARTMENT
whereas 14
structured
PARAGRAPH ACTIVITY
Read the following paragraph and choose words/ phrases to show how the
ideas in the paragraph link to each other
There are, _________, limitations to this study. ________, the study

population was only representative of the visitors questioned on the
days surveyed. _________ findings should be treated with caution
when applying them to the general population. _________, _________
most participants reported improvement to self-esteem and mood, this
effect was fairly small. The sampling method may ________ have led
to some bias, _________ the study only included those people
choosing to visit the sites and did not include the views of those who
chose not to visit. ________, other factors _______ the weather,
temperature, amount of vegetation, or colours may all affect the
experience. Based on Barton, J., Hine, R. & Pretty, J. (2009) The health benefits of walking in greenspaces of high natural
10.1080/19438150903378425
15
structured
PARAGRAPH ACTIVITY- ANSWERS
Read the following paragraph and choose words/ phrases to show how the
ideas in the paragraph link to each other
There are, __however_, limitations to this study. __First__, the study

population was only representative of the visitors questioned on the
days surveyed. _Therefore, findings should be treated with caution
when applying them to the general population. _Secondly, _although_
most participants reported improvement to self-esteem and mood, this
effect was fairly small. The sampling method may ___also__ have led to
some bias, __because_ the study only included those people choosing
to visit the sites and did not include the views of those who chose not to
visit. _Finally_, other factors _such as_ the weather, temperature,
amount of vegetation, or colours may all affect the experience.
Based on Barton, J., Hine, R. & Pretty, J. (2009) The health benefits of walking in greenspaces of high natural
10.1080/19438150903378425 16
Academic Writing is structured
Have I Yes No
Explained my main idea in a
sentence near the beginning of
the paragraph?
Organised supporting
sentences in a logical order?
Used linking words/ phrases to
show the relationships between
ideas?
17
Effective academic writing is
formal
Is the following text formal? Why/ why not?
So whats the best way to exercise? Walking is

the #1 activity if you want to get healthy. Its
cheap, and you dont have to have any special
gear to do it. And its pretty convenient, since
people can make time whenever and where ever
it suits them to. For me, the pluses are that
walking helps drop the Ks and makes it easier to
run for a bus.
18
Features of formal writing
(with some warnings!)
Academic writing
1.Follows conventions
2.Uses discipline-specific/ technical words
and phrases
3.Doesnt always use I-you-we
4. Expresses abstract ideas by nominalising
19
Formal writing: follows conventions
Some Conventions Examples

Contractions its it is
Abbreviations Ks Kilos
Conjunctions at the start of And its pretty convenient

It is also
sentences
Prepositions at the end of whenever it suits them to.
whenever it suits them to do so.
sentences
Rhetorical questions So whats the best way to exercise?
Research generally agrees that walking is
the best form of exercise.
20
Formal writing: uses discipline-
specific/ technical terms
Replace empty words and phrases (stuff, thing,
make, get, do) with words that are discipline-
specific/ technical. This shows
you are thinking about/ learning about the topic
how much you understand about the concepts
WARNING:
1. Think about who your reader will be. If your assignment is to explain a
concept to a client (who is not an expert) you will need to use everyday
vocabulary that they understand.
2. If you dont understand a word or a term, DONT USE IT. Your reader will
know!
21
Formal writing: Doesnt always
use I-you-we
For some assignments and some disciplines, it is not appropriate to use these
pronouns:
Pronoun When its not needed

I Opinions not supported by evidence
I think Mad Max is a great film
You To generalise
When you study for an exam, you should prepare in advance
We Generalisations not supported by evidence
We all know people who dont say thank you are selfish
WARNING: For some assignments (such as observations and reflections),

youll NEED I, we to talk about what happened and how you felt or what
you learned. Think carefully about what the assignment is asking for, and
check your unit guide.
22
Formal writing: Expresses
abstract ideas by nominalising
Nominalising= turning verbs into nouns
People who walk a lot find it easier to move their

joints.
People who walk a lot have better flexibility.
Walking increases flexibility.
WARNING- its better to express your ideas clearly than to use many complex
structures incorrectly.
23
Formal writing
ACTIVITY
Rewrite the example paragraph weve looked at using a

more formal style
So whats the best way to exercise? Walking is the

#1 activity if you want to get healthy. Its cheap,
and you dont have to have any special gear to do
it. And its pretty convenient, since people can
make time whenever and where ever it suits them
to. For me, the pluses are that walking helps drop
the Ks and makes it easier to run for a bus.
24
Formal writing
ACTIVITY: SAMPLE ANSWER
Walking is the most effective outdoor activity for

reaching recommended physical activity targets. It
is a natural activity, which is inexpensive and
requires no special skills or equipment. It is also
convenient and can be routinely incorporated into
daily lifestyles. Walking increases aerobic
performance, and helps prevent cardiovascular
disease and obesity.
Based on Barton, J., Hine, R. & Pretty, J. (2009) The health benefits of walking in greenspaces of high natural
10.1080/19438150903378425
25
Academic writing is formal
Have I Yes No
Used the conventions of formal
writing?
Used words and phrases from my
discipline?
Decided whether my assignment
needs I-you-we?
Expressed abstract ideas by
nominalising?
26
Critical: A word thats everywhere!
The word critical comes from the Latin root criticus.

It has many meanings and uses at university.
27
Academic writing is
critical
In academic writing, the word critical involves:
CRITICAL
Examining Judging
carefully carefully
Evaluating
carefully
28
The importance of critical thinking in writing
(see StudyWISE)
Descriptive Writing Critical Analytical Writing
States what happened Identifies the significance of what happened
States or outlines features, Evaluates the importance of features and

characteristics, or components (e.g. strengths and
components weaknesses)
Explains what a theory
Shows why the theory is relevant or suitable
says
Explains how something Indicates why something is likely to or will
works work
Describes the research Decides if the research methods used are
methods used appropriate and why
Gives reasons for conclusions, including
States conclusions specific recommendations or future
possibilities
What does critical writing involve?
Writing critically requires:
1. Approaching information independently and reflectively.
30
2. Thinking logically, objectively and without bias.
31
3. Interpreting and evaluating authoritative evidence.
32
4. Building coherent and substantiated arguments.
33
5. Humility, perseverance and multiple drafts.
34
Academic writing is
critical
This means answering the question
For example: flickr.com
why is this debate important ?

why is this concept significant /flawed/ debatable?
why is this methodology appropriate?
Why is this reading controversial / valid / relevant ?
why are these findings valuable / contested ?
35
Critical writing activity
Read the extracts in your handout and:

Underline the evidence provided in each extract.
Decide whether or not the evidence is convincing.
You should consider:
o the type of evidence used
o if the evidence is relevant
o if the evidence relies on generalisations
o if the evidence relies on assumptions
o if the evidence is biased.
36
Thinking & writing critically: a summary
37
Academic writing is
critical
HaveHave
I? I? Yes No
Hav
answered relevant why questions
pixabay.com argued logically and objectively
supported claims with appropriate,

reliable evidence
38
Academic writing is
evidence-based
What is not academic in these statements from
student essays?
It is obvious that children with learning difficulties

should be integrated in regular classrooms.
Americans do not travel much, so none of them are

very aware of the world outside their countrys borders.
The oil crisis was caused by OPECs actions.

Academic writing is
cautious
Instead:
It is obvious that children with Several studies indicate that when
children with learning difficulties are
learning difficulties should be
integrated into regular classrooms, their
integrated in regular classrooms. learning outcomes tend to be better (Li,
2009; Jones, 2012; Smith, 2012).
Americans do not travel much, so Instead:

none of them are very aware of the Americans travel outside their borders
world outside their countrys significantly less than Europeans,
borders. according to Camber (2012). This may
result in less awareness of other
cultures.
Research has proved that the oil Instead:
crisis was caused by OPECs Flabitz, Tang & Palgraves study (2005)
actions. suggests that OPECs actions probably
contributed to the oil crisis.
Sowe use words that express
uncertainty & caution
may
tend do suggest
might introductory reporting
modal verbs appear to indicate
could verbs verbs
seem to
sometimes possibly some

adverbs of other
often probably likely
adjectives
time adverbs
frequently possible
Academic writing is
supported by citations
Instead:
Several studies indicate that when
At the end of a sentence children with learning difficulties are
integrated into regular classrooms, their
learning outcomes tend to be better (Li,
2009; Jones, 2012; Smith, 2012).
Using a reporting phrase Instead:

Americans travel outside their borders
significantly less than Europeans,
according to Camber (2012). This may
result in less awareness of other cultures.
Using a reporting verb

Instead:
Flabitz, Tang & Palgraves study (2005)
suggests that OPECs actions probably
contributed to the oil.
When you use the ideas of others
Which technique do you

think is most common?
Use a direct
quote (enclose
the writers
words in
quotation marks)
Example paraphrase
Paraphrase
Original text
Redman (2015) argues that, due to the
Any list of health priorities will be shortage of data, it is not possible to
long and subjective because the objectively prioritise health needs, in
information needed for rational spite of the fact that the need for such
decisions is not available. There is data to guide decision-making and
good data that health services can be reduce risk and waste in medical services
significantly improved in their is well supported by research.
efficiency and safety through
research. Summary
The necessary research into health
needs to guide a rational process of
prioritisation is lacking (Redman, 2015).
Redman, S. (2015). Research priority: make Australias health system efficient, equitable and integrated. The
Conversation, July 8, 2015. Retrieved from
https://theconversation.com/research-priority-make-australias-health-system-efficient-equitable-and-integrated-
43547
What stayed the same?
Original text Paraphrase

Any list of health priorities will Redman (2015) argues that, due
be long and subjective because to the shortage of data, it is not
the information needed for possible to objectively prioritise
rational decisions is not health needs, in spite of the fact
available. There is good data that the need for such data to
that health services can be guide decision-making and reduce
significantly improved in their risk and waste in health services is
efficiency and safety through well supported by research.
research.
43547
What stayed the same?

available. There is good data
data that the need for such data to
that health services can be guide rational decision-making
significantly improved in their and reduce risk and waste in
efficiency and safety through health services is well supported
research..
research by research.
research
43547
What vocabulary changed?

research.
43547

Any list of health priorities
priorities will Redman (2015) argues that, due
significantly improved
improved in their risk and waste in health services is
research.
43547

Any list of health priorities
priorities will Redman (2015) argues that,
be long and subjective because , it is not
rational decisions health needs, in spite of the fact
. There is good data that the need for such data to
significantly improved
improved in their in health services
through is well supported by research.
research.
43547
What about sentence structure?
Two sentences One sentence, three clauses

research.
43547
Summarising another technique
Original text Summary

Any list of health priorities will The research into health needs
be long and subjective because required to guide a rational
the information needed for process of prioritisation is lacking
rational decisions is not (Redman, 2015).
available. There is good data
that health services can be
significantly improved in their
efficiency and safety through
research.
43547
You try now!
Log in to Socrative and post a Original text:

paraphrase.
College students with later class
www.socrative.com start times slept longer,
Room number: SLIFETT9 experienced less daytime
sleepiness, and were less likely to
Your answers will show on screen but miss class. The benefits of taking
they are anonymous. later classes did not extend to
academic performance, however;
grades were somewhat lower in
students with predominantly late
class schedules.
Onyper, P., Thacher, P.V., Gilbert, J.W. & Gradess, S.G.. (2012).
Class start times, sleep and academic performance in college:
A path analysis. Chronobiology International, 29(3), pp 227-
251.
You try now!
Original text: Possible paraphrase:
College students with later class Onyper et al. (2012) found that when
start times slept longer, students enrolled in classes that
experienced less daytime started later, they had lengthier
sleepiness, and were less likely to periods of sleep, fewer absences and
miss class. The benefits of taking less drowsiness during the day.
later classes did not extend to Nevertheless, their academic results
academic performance, however; were not as good.
grades were somewhat lower in
students with predominantly late Possible summary:
class schedules. Students enrolling in later classes show
increased attendance and alertness
Onyper, P., Thacher, P.V., Gilbert, J.W. & Gradess, S.G.. (2012).
Class start times, sleep and academic performance in college: but decreased grades.
A path analysis. Chronobiology International, 29(3), pp 227-
251.
A few tips for paraphrasing
Change a word from one part of speech to another (for example,

from noun phrase to verb phrase)
Use synonyms (e.g. strong powerful) for everyday words
Do not change the key words/terminology
Change the word order, sentence structure and order of sentences
Use different connecting words than in the original text
Make sure you include in-text citation of sources
Sources http://owll.massey.ac.nz/referencing/paraphrasing-techniques.php
http://learningcommons.sfu.ca/sites/default/files/179/techniquesforparaphrasing.pdf
Online resource
Academic Integrity Module

for Students
Acceptable and unacceptable academic practices
How to properly acknowledge sources and avoid

plagiarism
Academic writing is
evidence-based
HaveHave
I? I? Yes No
Hav
used hedging language when
appropriate?
pixabay.com supported my arguments with

citations?
paraphrased the original texts?
56
Academic writing is
discipline-specific
Different types of texts are used in different
disciplines (e.g. business report in finance,
economics and accounting, case studies, laboratory
reports in science, essays in arts and other
disciplines.
Go to StudyWISE for help with different texts.
Read texts in your area.
59
Learning Skills
www.mq.edu.au/learningskills
Ask a Learning Adviser @Library Info Desk
12-2 Mon to Fri, teaching weeks & mid-session break
Email: learningskills@mq.edu.au
#MQstudyWISE
60
I LEARNING SKILLS GROUP 2015
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Effective academic writing

COPYRIGHT LEARNING & TEACHING

COPYRIGHT LEARNING & TEACHING CENTRE

COPYRIGHT LEARNING & TEACHING

organise yourselves into groups of 3 or 4

read the text that you have been allocated

as a group decide what type of text you have been given

brainstorm the features of your text

check the textual features around the room and collect

COPYRIGHT LEARNING & TEACHING CENTRE

Developed paragraphs Short/underdeveloped paragraphs

How would you structure

Image: Curtin University, n.d.

Main idea: physical activity has dropped

Jobs are less physical, commuting to work or school by car (less

Changes in distance walked over a year

Changes in number of students who walk to school

Low levels of walking related to overall decrease in physical activity

Help your reader with

Function Linking word/signpost

Function Linking word/signpost

Conclusion or summary In conclusion/summary, to conclude

Order of importance Above all, significantly, more importantly, most

Concession Despite, in spite of, though/although, however,

There are, _________, limitations to this study. ________, the study

There are, __however_, limitations to this study. __First__, the study

So whats the best way to exercise? Walking is

Some Conventions Examples

Conjunctions at the start of And its pretty convenient

Pronoun When its not needed

WARNING: For some assignments (such as observations and reflections),

People who walk a lot find it easier to move their

Rewrite the example paragraph weve looked at using a

So whats the best way to exercise? Walking is the

Walking is the most effective outdoor activity for

The word critical comes from the Latin root criticus.

In academic writing, the word critical involves:

Descriptive Writing Critical Analytical Writing

States what happened Identifies the significance of what happened

States or outlines features, Evaluates the importance of features and

Writing critically requires:

1. Approaching information independently and reflectively.

Writing critically requires:

2. Thinking logically, objectively and without bias.

Writing critically requires:

3. Interpreting and evaluating authoritative evidence.

Writing critically requires:

4. Building coherent and substantiated arguments.

Writing critically requires:

5. Humility, perseverance and multiple drafts.

This means answering the question

For example: flickr.com

why is this debate important ?

Read the extracts in your handout and:

pixabay.com argued logically and objectively

supported claims with appropriate,

It is obvious that children with learning difficulties

Americans do not travel much, so none of them are

The oil crisis was caused by OPECs actions.

Americans do not travel much, so Instead:

sometimes possibly some

Using a reporting phrase Instead:

Using a reporting verb

There are, _, limitations to this study. , the study

There are, __however_, limitations to this study. First, the study