Self Esteem Silence Your Inner Critic

If you feel that you are being a captive of your own negative image of yourself then
then you should start with these four basic steps to improve your self-esteem:

Low self-esteem affects every aspect of ones life adversely. The directives for a
healthy self-esteem come from mental health professionals. These directives boast
self-confidence &, improve relationships as per cognitive behavior therapy. They are
the following:

1. Identification of problematic situations

Think of places &, situations from your personal life which affect your self-
esteem adversely. They can easily include:

i. Challenge of working next to someone more confident and, acceptable than

you
ii. Crisis in handling relationship problems at home or, at office or in personal
relationships.
iii. Poor body image due to challenge in weight management
iv. Moving forward with great losses or, wrong decisions made in life

2. Read your thoughts from someone elses view

After identification has been made of situations, positions &, places which challenge
your self-esteem, the next step is to take a conscious read on your thoughts-self
talk. The analysis can either be from the three mentioned below:

i. Beliefs
ii. Stories
iii. Facts (Rational)

The self-talk of the above can be positive, negative or, neutral. As it can be based
on reality and, facts, similarly, it can also be based on irrational ideas which are
away from reality.

3. Take the bull by the horns

After consistent observation become sure of what way your mind thinks. Once you
are sure of your own incorrect view of situations &, dealings in the public &, private
sphere of your life, then you take on the challenge of changing your world view
dynamically.

A regularity or self check is necessary where our own biases or, long held false
beliefs can cloud our view of reality as they appear more normal and, factual to us.
There are few negative automatic thoughts (NAT) which have a very pervasive
effect on our self-esteem. They are also known as thinking errors and, are as
following:

i. All or nothing thinking: You color the situation in your mind as black &,
white i.e. either negative or, positive and, you fail to bring the picture into
a whole of both. This situation leads to depression in cases as it includes
thinking in absolute terms.
Example: If I am unable to perform a single task in time, I will never be
able to reach the pinnacle of time management.
ii. Negative Mental filtering: The selective evaluation of a situation with
negative elements.i
Example: I have stuttered during a presentation. Now everyone will know
I am less confident public speaker.
iii. Jumping to conclusions: It includes assumptions and, jumping to negative
conclusions by rejecting your positive achievements and, highlighting your
negative experience.
Example: My sister didnt respond to me over my call so she must be
ignoring me.
iv. Negative Self Talk: You downplay on your self worth and, deem yourself to
be less based on for example making a mistake previously.
Example: I am at this treatment centre because I have made a fool of
myself by making mistakes.

4. Replace negative self-esteem with positive

There are nine steps for boasting self-esteem and, to silence your inner critic.

i. Put negative stuff in a box

It is a mental imagery technique that you put all the negative which
comes to your mind in a box and make the size of the box small.
Seeing a small box will give you the confidence that your problems can
be solved and, are small.

ii. The art of Possible Thinking

Sometimes when you are in a mess, positive thinking even fails to lift
up your mood and, to provide the dose of required self-esteem. At this
point in time, the power of possible thinking comes into play because
here your mind doesnt reject whats possible as a lie as in the case of
too positive thinking. It is a win-win situation where one reaches some
middle ground for the solution of ones own personal problems.

iii. Guilt Ask yourself again

Make the choice to be kind to yourself by questioning your initial
thoughts, which is key to slowing down that voice, ii
You should stop taking too much guilt for mistakes and, run in time
errors for example ruining your dress coat with coffee. A lot of the
 times, people are so busy with their cell phones that its only seldom
that someone cared about what you did.

iv. To turn to ones advantage

Its a small twist of words which do not put the blame on someone or,
categorize any person herself as faulty. It is a small nuance. It
separates the feeling away from the person who you are and show that
the moment of low self-esteem is temporary.
For example: I am stupid. Change it to, I was feeling stupid.

v. Ask, what would my best friend say?

It means that do not say anything unkind to yourself which your best
friend will never say to you. It also is stated as not to be too hard on
yourself.

vi. Give your inner critic a name

By giving your inner critic a goofy name makes it a lot easier to play
down your low self-esteem.

vii. Give your rants a name too

There are angry stories as speeches sprouting inside us telling &,
comparing us with making us come out as less. These stories are our
habitual ways of thinking, not necessarily the truths.

viii. Pick up the phone

It means that as soon as we put down the guard of hiding away after
something stupid has happened, the shame associated with it will
subside.

ix. Embrace your imperfections

It is extremely positive to not to hold ourselves responsible to utterly
high standards. Perfectionism breeds more stress then the feeling that
we can mess it up and, move on.

Biblography

Bratskeir, Kate. "Negative Self-Talk: 9 Ways To Silence Your Inner Critic." The Huffington Post.
TheHuffingtonPost.com, 06 Apr. 2013. Web. 21 Mar. 2017.
i http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/mental+filtering

ii http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/06/negative-self-talk-think-
positive_n_3009832.html