12/30/2015 BeingaCalifornianinNewYorkCityBrokeAssStuart'sGoddamnWebsite

25 DOPE, LOCALLY OWNED, 13 THE BIGGEST CRITIQUES OF 23 THIS IS W

bestof

NOV 2015 EAST BAY SHOPS OCT 2015 MY CAMPAIGN AND MY SEP 2015 FRANCIS
RESPONSES MAGICA

BEING A CALIFORNIAN IN NEW YORK CITY

03 OCT 2012
CARRIE LAVEN - PRETTY PENNILESS

2 4K 1

I am a Californian living in New York City. I was born in the suburbs of Los Angeles, raised in
the suburbs of San Diego, and went to college in the Bay Area, so Id kind of consider myself
somewhat of a semi-expert on Californianity. Living as a Broke-Ass-West-Coaster-Gone-
East for nearly three years, Ive gathered a few observations about Californians in this place
thats all about pounding the pavement in stilettos and frantically yelling into your cell
phone. The first of which being that NYC is nothing like that, except for the yelling into your
cell phone part (and we could alternately substitute yelling for: publicly crying, shit-
talking, or asking for money.)

Aint no lie Californians are a laid-back breed of human. We work hard when we have to,
but wed almost always rather be doing one of the following: lounging and getting tipsy in the
park; lounging after a morning yoga sesh; lounging and eating burritos at some hole-in-the-
wall Mexican restaurant; lounging after going on a canyon hike with our shelter-adopted
mixed breed dogs; lounging with an iced tea, a gossip rag and oversized sunglasses outside of
a local all-organic cafe; or lounging while scantily-clad on any beach, anywhere, anytime. We

http://brokeassstuart.com/blog/2012/10/03/beingacalifornianinnewyorkcity/ 1/13
12/30/2015 BeingaCalifornianinNewYorkCityBrokeAssStuart'sGoddamnWebsite

also like to make salads, listen to the sweet sounds of wind chimes, and wear short-shorts
(sometimes all at the same time!). People in NYC obnoxiously start every conversation with
So, what do you do? Californians hate talking about our jobs (especially San Franciscans,
who seem to work as dog walker/waiter/DJ combos well into their 40s), and would rather
start every conversation with, So, what did you do today? The answer likely involves some
combination of Mexican food, marijuana, and (you guessed it) relaxing.

That being said, Californians in New York City definitely like to stick to our own kind. We
surround ourselves with other West Coast transplants, and claim that anyone else from
anywhere else just isnt chill enough. Once we really cast our nets far-and-wide, and
perfectly assemble a diverse group of People Who Are Just Like Us, we sit around and talk
about how much we miss In N Out.

Its true that Cali babes in NYC have pretty out-of-control levels of homeland pride, and we
love to rep our roots by sporting SF Giants hats, hideous gold 49ers jackets from the early
90s, vintage Lakers jerseys, and any other gear from our states many sports teams (besides
the Padres, because the Padres are just embarrassing). Californians may not be as fashion-
forward as their trend-obsessed NYC counterparts, but lets not forget our fine states many
contributions to trends of years passed: trucker hats, Juicy Couture velour sweatsuits,
Botoxing your face beyond recognition, letting your thong hang out of the top of your True
Religions, bleached blonde hair on top with dyed black hair underneath, Uggs with miniskirts,
and macrame chokers. New York might be the nucleus of American fashion industry, but we
will always, alwayshave these two:

Besides being the clear winners on the How to Pay a Lot of Money to Look Like a Porny
Drag Queen front, we Californians also boast a far better way of speaking than East
Coasters. Dude, and brah arent just used by guys who live in orange VW Buses anymore,
and have become the official terms of endearment amongst fratty douchebags across this

http://brokeassstuart.com/blog/2012/10/03/beingacalifornianinnewyorkcity/ 2/13
12/30/2015 BeingaCalifornianinNewYorkCityBrokeAssStuart'sGoddamnWebsite

glorious nation. We knew what a cholo is before that dumb song came out if not from
firsthand experience with their netty-heads, we learned the term from high school showings
of Stand and Deliver whenever we had a sub in Algebra 2. And lets please not forget how
hella fulfilling saying hella every other sentence can be. We speak in hella Valley girl
accents, hella stoner drawls, and inspire wildly popular SNL sketches about Marina del
Raaahhh. We awr like, toaaad-ally awesome, amigooos mad and wicked aint got nothin
on us.

New Yorkers might think that all Californians are new age, crunchy, raw food obsessed space
cases, but we dont understand why so many stick-up-their-ass NYC-dwellers pay serious
bucks for personal astrologers. This is a city that doesnt compost most of them dont even
believe in recycling yet there are seriously signs for psychics on every corner. Like black
holes, the Great Pyramids, and Donald Trumps hairdo, the abundance of fortune tellers in
this no-nonsense city perplexes us. A fair share of Californians might like to camp out in
teepees and frolic naked across the sands of Burning Man, but at least we dont pay $300 for
someone named Madame Erica to telepathically cleanse our souls from afar while we go
home and take a shower.

Californians living in New York City miss keeping half of our wardrobes in our cars, not
having to deal with with that damn shuttle when the L train is under construction, and
blasting-slash-belting out Mariah Careys Fantasy while stuck on the freeway during rush
hour. We long for beach bonfires that begin with perfect summer sunsets, cool salty breezes,
and that time that the cops were called when our step mother wrestled some druggie for the
last free fire pit ( just me?). We miss morning marine layers that blanket our
neighborhoods in romantic stillness during our 6:42am jogs, and fizzle away to sunshine by
noontime. We dream about carne asada fries, backyard swimming pools, cheap thrifting, life
without down jackets, and solely wearing scarves as funky accessories. We secretly miss
mall culture, because sometimes we just need a Hot Dog on a Stick, and an impulsively-
purchased tribal ear cuff from Icing that well never really wear, okay? We miss having actual
hobbies besides working long hours and boozing, because as great as New York City really
is it kinda seems like thats all a lot of people do here.

Californians in New York City move here because San Francisco is like Never Never Land,
San Diego is too boring, and LA is too spread out. Californians move to New York
complaining about all sorts of California-related shit, but only stay in the city for a summer,
two years, or four years rarely for a lifetime. Who can blame us? New York City might be
the center of the universe, but avocados are much cheaper back home. And who can go
through life without affordable guacamole, right?

Photo credits: The Classy Broad, SF Station

Like this article? Make sure to sign up for our mailing list so you never miss a

http://brokeassstuart.com/blog/2012/10/03/beingacalifornianinnewyorkcity/ 3/13
12/30/2015 BeingaCalifornianinNewYorkCityBrokeAssStuart'sGoddamnWebsite

goddamn thing!

TAGS: AVOCADOS BONFIRES BURNING MAN CALIFORNIANS CHOLOS FOG HELLA

LOS ANGELES MACRAME CHOKERS MARIAH CAREY MEXICAN FOOD NEW YORK PSYCHICS

RELAXATION RUSH HOUR SAN DIEGO SAN FRANCISCO SNL SUNSHINE THE BEACH

TRUCKER HAT

PREVIOUS POST
FREE SHOW THURSDAY @ SECRET PROJECT ROBOT

NEXT POST
DATING IN NEW YORK CAN BE A BITCH Y'ALL

CARRIE LAVEN - PRETTY PENNILESS

Carrie Laven is a natural-born storyteller from California, but she
lives in New York now. She likes dogs, nail art, and Mexican food,
but mostly she likes scoring sweet deals at thrift stores. She tends
to have a flair for the dramatic.

FROM THE WEB SponsoredLinks byTaboola

10 Stars Who Have A PhD

News For Ants

http://brokeassstuart.com/blog/2012/10/03/beingacalifornianinnewyorkcity/ 4/13
12/30/2015 BeingaCalifornianinNewYorkCityBrokeAssStuart'sGoddamnWebsite

15 Hottest Actresses in Hollywood

TheSqeez

SECRET RULES! - For Disneyland

Employees
Viral Heroes

15 Reasons You DON'T Want To Go

To The Netherlands
TravelTips4Life

Top 10 Countries With the World's

Highest Salaries
TopMens

Fast & Comprehensive Hotel Price

Comparison
Hotel Bargains

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE

http://brokeassstuart.com/blog/2012/10/03/beingacalifornianinnewyorkcity/ 5/13
12/30/2015 BeingaCalifornianinNewYorkCityBrokeAssStuart'sGoddamnWebsite

PHONE HOME AT A FREE SHOWING OF E.T. THIS THURSDAY UNDER THE BROOKLYN
BRIDGE

WATCH BADASS DANCE BATTLES AT THE STEP TO THE HIGH LINE FESTIVAL

http://brokeassstuart.com/blog/2012/10/03/beingacalifornianinnewyorkcity/ 6/13
12/30/2015 BeingaCalifornianinNewYorkCityBrokeAssStuart'sGoddamnWebsite

MAKING SENSE OF THE PERPLEXING WORLD OF BRO FASHION

http://brokeassstuart.com/blog/2012/10/03/beingacalifornianinnewyorkcity/ 7/13
12/30/2015 BeingaCalifornianinNewYorkCityBrokeAssStuart'sGoddamnWebsite

WATCH THE GOONIES, FREE THIS THURSDAY IN LOWER EAST SIDE

14Comments BrokeAssStuart Login

Recommend Share SortbyBest

Jointhediscussion

Jay 2yearsago
Livedfirst41yrsofmylifeinNY,thenthenext21sofarinCalifornia.Laidbackisa
stereotypethatattemptstopaintCaliforniansaseasygoing,friendly,goodnatured.After
21yearsIhavecometorealizethatthisstereotypeisutternonsenseandinreality
Californiansareselfcentered,holierthanthou,assuming,demandingpeoplewhowantto
takeonnoresponsibilitywhatsoeverfortheirownactionsbutfaulteveryotherhuman
beingforTHEIRS.
Further,IhaveneverinmyentirelifemetasmanyidiotsasIhavesincemovinghere.
1 Reply Share

Southbronx1982>Jay ayearago
manyoushutthefuckup,withyournewyorklyinass.newyorkisHELLA
FUCKEDUP!CALIISDABEST!
Reply Share

Dorkus 2yearsago
Ittookyou21yearstofigurethatout?Whatevs,thesethingsarenotallmutually
exclusive.Youcanbesmugandlaisefaireatthesametime,yaknow.
Reply Share

Nicola 2yearsago
GOHOME.Idon'tknowwhypeopleleavetheirstateandthencomplainaboutbeing
http://brokeassstuart.com/blog/2012/10/03/beingacalifornianinnewyorkcity/ 8/13
12/30/2015 BeingaCalifornianinNewYorkCityBrokeAssStuart'sGoddamnWebsite

homesickandallthat.Beforeyoumovetoaplaceyouhavetovisittoseeifthat's
somethingyoucanhandledoing.Likegeez,shutthefuckup,yourgeneralizationonNew
YorkersisHELLAinaccurate.
Reply Share

Southbronx1982>Nicola ayearago
manyoushutthefuckup,withyournewyorkass.newyorkisHELLAFUCKED
UP!CALIISDABEST!
Reply Share

LivinginSF 2yearsago
ThearticlelastweekaboutwhyNewYorkissomuchbetterthanSanFranciscowasway
moremyscene.Sorry.Youmakesomevalidpoints,butNYCisreallythegreatestcityin
theUS.
Reply Share

Brooklyn 2yearsago
Californiansaresoannoyingandfake.Thisarticleprovesit.ThankgodI'mnotfromthat
lameassgaystate
Reply Share

Southbronx1982>Brooklyn ayearago
it'stheotherwayaround.newyorkersarefakeandmental.sothereforeyour
dumbassdoesn'tmakesense.bythewaynewyorkisalameassgayfuckedup
placetolivein.fucknewyork!
Reply Share

Mai 3yearsago
Californiapride!IhaveaCaliforniastickeronmybedroomwindow.....lol
Reply Share

Southbronx1982>Mai ayearago
WOOOHOO!WESTSIDEALLDAY!
I'mproudtobeaCALIFORNIAN!
Reply Share

Mary 3yearsago
OMGthisisamazingimovedhereacoupleyearsagoandthinkingthisismylastyearin
nyc....imissmysocalsomuch...justlittlethings...buteverythingISbetterincali....do
youeverorganizecalifornianinthecitygettogetheratamexicanrestaurantoranything
becauseifyoudo(andpleasedo)i'dlovetobetheregolakers!
Reply Share

mikeahuja 3yearsago
http://brokeassstuart.com/blog/2012/10/03/beingacalifornianinnewyorkcity/ 9/13
12/30/2015 BeingaCalifornianinNewYorkCityBrokeAssStuart'sGoddamnWebsite
mikeahuja 3yearsago
thisissuchagreatread,anditissoverytrue...andcaliforniaisthebestplaceintheworld
forsure...igottarepmyroots:)
Reply Share

Southbronx1982>mikeahuja ayearago
Thankyou!Californiaisthebeststate.intheworld!notfuckingnewyork,ewww!
Reply Share

BrokeAssStuartEditorInC 3yearsago
Carrie!ThisisSOgood!!
Reply Share

ALSOONBROKEASSSTUART WHAT'STHIS?

ProgressivesTakeTheSFBoardof StunningAltarsfromSanFranciscos
Supervisors,ConwayKeepsTheMayor DiadelosMuertos
1comment2monthsago 1comment2monthsago

AvatarD_burrIhatetobethatguy,but56%is AvatarfriendComeon,dude.It's"altar."It's
goodenoughtowinwhenthere'sonlytwo evenspelledcorrectlyinoneofthe
truecandidatesrunninginanelection. images.
Andeven
FuckBlackFriday:DoTheseCool5 8WaysToBeatTheHalloweenWalkof
ThingsInstead Shame
1commentamonthago 1comment2monthsago

AvatarHeyPiselloWineries.DOIT.Manyof AvatarCharlesDalyBrilliant!
themhaveBLACKFRIDAYspecials.Wine

baconmakers

topposts
http://brokeassstuart.com/blog/2012/10/03/beingacalifornianinnewyorkcity/ 10/13
12/30/2015 BeingaCalifornianinNewYorkCityBrokeAssStuart'sGoddamnWebsite

week month alltime

A SAN FRANCISCO BAR IS BEING TURNED INTO A GIANT BALL PIT!

9.6K 4

HOW TO SURVIVE A SAN FRANCISCO BREAK-UP

10K 5

BEING A CALIFORNIAN IN NEW YORK CITY

4K 2

I ASKED PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK WHERE THE WORST PLACE THEY POOPED WASTHE ANSWERS ARE
AMAZING.
16.3K 7

WEIRD WAYS TO MAKE MONEY ONLINE

960 4

newshit

OH GREAT! HOVERBOARDS ARE GOING TO BE MADE LEGAL ON CA STREETS

729 0

WEIRD WAYS TO MAKE MONEY ONLINE

960 4
http://brokeassstuart.com/blog/2012/10/03/beingacalifornianinnewyorkcity/ 11/13
12/30/2015 BeingaCalifornianinNewYorkCityBrokeAssStuart'sGoddamnWebsite

A BALLERINA IN SAN FRANCISCO

1.4K 3

THE BROKE ASS HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE (FOR BROKE-ASS BALLERS)

1.9K 5

BEHIND BROKE-ASS STUART: STEPHEN TORRES, EDITOR AND EVENTS

772 3

getintouch

Got a broke-ass tip?

Wanna advertise with us?
How about write for us?
Got any love letters or death threats for me?
Send them here: info@BrokeAssStuart.com

http://brokeassstuart.com/blog/2012/10/03/beingacalifornianinnewyorkcity/ 12/13
12/30/2015 BeingaCalifornianinNewYorkCityBrokeAssStuart'sGoddamnWebsite

whoweare

We write for busboys, poets, social workers, students, artists, musicians, magicians, mathematicians, maniacs,
yodelers and everyone else out there who wants to enjoy life not as a rich person, but as a real person. Namely, we
write for you.

subscribe

SIGN UP FOR NEWS, FREEBIES AND GIVEAWAYS

HIT THIS

BrokeAssStuart

SiteByMiegoApps

http://brokeassstuart.com/blog/2012/10/03/beingacalifornianinnewyorkcity/ 13/13