Error Log

Eirik Erlandsen
Assignment 1: Summary

Sentences with Description of Error/ Explanation and Correction

Errors Correction Symbol Remarks
example: after the transitive vs. 'to rob' takes an object After the thief robbed
thief robbed, he ran intransitive verbs the woman, he ran
himself away quickly 'to run' in intransitive- away quickly.
no object
In the blog entry The Long sentence I wanted to include In the blog entry The
Take-Home Lesson that she both states Take-Home Lesson from
from the Harvard her views about take- the Harvard Cheating
Cheating Scandal, home exams in general Scandal, posted on the
posted on the website and talks about the website of the
of the American Harvard cheating American Mathematical
Mathematical Society scandal. Including only Society (www.ams.org),
(www.ams.org), one of them in the assistant professor
assistant professor opening sentence Adriana Salerno
Adriana Salerno seemed like it would explains why she thinks
explains why she downplay the take-home exams are
thinks take-home importance of the useful. Furthermore,
exams are useful and other one and I she attributes the
attributes the Harvard therefore made the Harvard cheating
cheating scandal to sacrifice of including a scandal to both the
both the attitudes of pretty long sentence. attitudes of the
the students and When I tried splitting students and
potentially lacking the sentence in two, I potentially lacking
communication, realized that it worked communication,
regarding the purpose out well and I was regarding the purpose
of the exam, on the happy to get rid of the of the exam, on the
professors part. long sentence. professors part.
The entry was posted Room for stylistic The corrected version The entry was posted
as a response to an improvement makes it clearer that it as a response to an
article written by was Manjoo that article by Farhad
Farhad Manjoo, where argued something Manjoo, who argued
he argued and we also get rid of
the cumbersome an
article written by
Farhad Manjoo.

The Harvard cheating Sentence structure Being investigated The Harvard cheating
scandal consisted of a sounds like it is part of scandal consisted of a
large number of the course title. I had a large number of
students enrolled in the lot of information that I students being
course Introduction to wanted to include and investigated, and 60
Congress being ended up with a result students being
investigated, and 60 where it was no longer suspended, for
students being clear how the different collaborating on the
suspended, for parts of the sentence take-home final exam
collaborating on the were supposed to of the course
take-home final exam. connect to each other. Introduction to
Congress.

Their solution was not Double negative I wanted to make clear Their solution was not
beneficial for learning that there were no beneficial for learning
and did not have any positive consequences, and did not have any
positive impact for but I ended up going a positive impact for
neither their current bit overboard. either their current
classmates, nor next classmates, or next
years students. years students.

The tendency of Room for simplification I was not sure if I The tendency of weaker
weaker students to rely needed the article, so I students to rely on their
on their more included it. Since we more accomplished
accomplished friends can do without it, we friends leads to further
leads to a further might as well get rid of clouding of the process.
clouding of the it. I think the sentence
process. reads better now.

Assignment 2: Short Report

Sentences with Description of Error/ Explanation and Correction

Errors Correction Symbol Remarks
example: after the transitive vs. 'to rob' takes an object After the thief robbed
thief robbed, he ran intransitive verbs the woman, he ran
himself away quickly 'to run' in intransitive- away quickly.
no object
Look at Academic language Phrasal verb Explore, examine

The life expectancy at Article Life expectancy at

birth is 84 years for birth
women and 80 years
for men
, shows that Academic language A phrasal verb and a , shows that pregnant
pregnant women are get in the same women are not being
being taken care of sentence. neglected by the
by the health system Norwegian health
and that women who system and that
wish to have children women can become
can get pregnant mothers without
without exposing exposing themselves to
themselves to any any significant danger.
significant danger.

Only one quarter of the About three quarters of

population over 16 the population over
years has not sixteen years of age
has

Education all the way Article Missing article Education all the way
up to masters degree up to the masters
level should therefore degree level should
be available to therefore be available
everyone. to everyone.

In a global perspective, Academic language Pioneer is a good Regarding involvement

Norwegian women word to use in this in politics, Norwegian
have been ahead of context and enables women have been
the curve when it me to get straight to pioneers for at least
comes to involvement the point. the last 100 years.
in politics, at least for
the last 100 years.

During pregnancy, Academic language Using the precise During pregnancy,

Norwegian women expression describing women have the right
have the right to stay the situation instead of to 12 weeks of
home from work for trying to explain it maternity leave.
up to 12 weeks. myself.
This enables women to Academic language Phrasal verb These laws enable
have children without women to have children
losing their job or without losing their jobs
getting into financial or incurring financial
problems problems.

Assignment 3: Argument Paper

Sentences with Description of Error/ Explanation and Correction

Errors Correction Symbol Remarks
example: after the transitive vs. 'to rob' takes an object After the thief robbed
thief robbed, he ran intransitive verbs the woman,
himself away quickly 'to run' in intransitive-
no object he ran away quickly.
In the same period as Word choice error I was thinking in the In the same period that
the fraction of women same period as the the fraction of women
board members in ASA period where these board members in ASA
skyrocketed, things happened, skyrocketed,
but it did not come out
correctly.

This shows that the Hedging The sentence would be This indicates that the
responsibility for fine in a political responsibility for
increasing the number speech where the increasing the number
of female board speaker is trying to of female board
members cannot be appeal to the audience, members should not
left to the companies but the modified be left to the
alone. version is more in line companies alone.
with the tone in the
rest of my paper.

One of the main Clarity The modified version One of the main
concerns that was makes it clearer that concerns that was
raised in the debate the proponents are raised in the debate
leading up to the 2003 the proponents of the leading up to the 2003
act was that there view that was act was that there
would not be enough introduced in the would not be enough
qualified women to fill previous sentence. qualified women to fill
the necessary board the necessary board
positions. Proponents positions. Proponents
claimed that of this view claimed
recruitment had to take that recruitment had to
place further down in take place further down
the system. in the system.

There were, in other Subject-verb error I guess the strange There was, in other
words, no shortage of subject clause no words, no shortage of
competent women. shortage of competent competent women.
women confused me.
There was a shortage
of seems like an
obvious case, but no
shortage made it less
clear.
The employers Apostrophe, possession It is not the The Norwegian
associations organization of the employers
employer, but rather organizations
the specific term
employers
organization/associatio
n. Both alternatives
sound the same, but it
is obvious that we need
the plural form of
employer to get the
correct meaning.

No companies have Article error No companies have

publicly stated their publicly stated their
dissatisfaction or dissatisfaction or
concerns about lack of concerns about a lack
qualified candidates. of qualified candidates.

The conclusion of Sentence I find a substantial However, the

Eckbo et al. (2016) structure/word order + amount of uses of both conclusion of Eckbo et
does, however, not potentially punctuation does however not al. (2016) does not
change change and does, change
however, not change
online. COCA did not
give me any results for
any of them. I think the
modified version
sounds better, and I
assume that is what
the professor was after.