Universidad Nacional de Cuyo

Facultad de Filosofa y Letras

ENGLISH LANGUAGE V
TP CLASSES

1ST TERM

INSTRUCTORS: Prof. Sandra Del Giusti de Lambarri

Prof. Wanda Poveda
 Essay Structure and Organization

Source: Ida Masters Hollowell, James A. Levernier, A. Franklin Parks, Structuring Paragraphs: A
Guide to Ejfective Writing. 2nd ed. New York: St. Martin's,1986.

Intro Introduction- general to specifically

Theses Theses- specific topic of your paper

Body Body- same amount of information & support in each

paragraph

Conc. Conclusion- from specificity of paper to broad application

When writing an essay, follow these eight basic steps:

1) Select a topic:

Be sure the topic is narrow enough to make it manageable within the space of an essay

2) Write a thesis sentence:

Be sure the thesis statement (or sentence) expresses a controlling idea that is neither too broad nor
too specific to be developed effectively.

3) Select a method of development:

Check through all the methods before you finally settle on the one which will best serve your thesis:

definition example
compare and contrast cause and effect
classification process analysis

4) Organize the essay:

Begin by listing the major divisions which the body paragraphs in your essay will discuss; then fill
in the primary supports that each body paragraph of the essay will contain

5) Write topic sentences for the body paragraphs of the essay:

For each body paragraph, furnish a topic sentence that directly relates to the thesis sentence

6) Write the body paragraphs of the essay:

Each body paragraph should develop the primary support covered in that paragraph's topic sentence
7) Furnish a paragraph of introduction:

An introductory paragraph should state the thesis of the essay, introduce the divisions in the body
paragraph s of the essay, gain the interest of the reader

8) Write a paragraph of conclusion:

a. Restate the thesis and divisions of the essay

b. Bring the essay to an appropriate and effective close
c. Avoid digressing into new issues
 Power of One" Research Paper
Suggested Outline Format

l. Introduction

A. Idea for attention grabber, briefly stated

lf you use a quotation, make sure you cite the source and put it in your Works Cited
page

B. Background information about your topic

This could be a good place to include basic background information about your topic
that may not "fit" with the rest of your paper (or is not contemporary), but is essential
for the reader to know to understand where you are coming from.

C. Precise thesis statement- written out word for word exactly as you want it

lll. Argument / Evidence # 1

A. Topic sentence- written out word for word exactly as you want it
B. Background info, briefly stated
C. Quote from one of your sources (written out, word for word, and cited properly)
D. Analysis - explain why the quote supports your thesis
E. Transition reminder

III. Argument / Evidence #2

A. Topic sentence- written out word for word exactly as you want it
B. Background info, briefly stated
C. Quote from one of your sources (written out, word for word, and cited properly)
D. Analysis - explain why the quote supports your thesis
E. Transition reminder

IV. Argument / Evidence #3

A. Topic sentence- written out word for word exactly as you want i t
B. Background info, briefly stated
C. Quote from one of your sources (written out, word for word, and cited properly)
D. Analysis - explain why the quote supports your thesis
E. Transition reminder

V. Conclusion

A. Brief revisit of the thesis

B. So what?/ A ha!/ Universal idea briefly stated
 Building a Body Paragraph

1. Topic Sentence:
A good topic sentence mentions the example you plan on discussing in the body paragraph
and links it to the thesis statement.

2. Background information:
Provide some background information, in your own words, about the example or quote you
are going to use as proof. You cannot assume that the reader has read the novel. At the
same time, you want to keep this summary relatively brief and to-the-point. Shoot for 34
sentences.

3. Quote:
Write out, word for word, a short passage from the story that shows the government t doing
something. Cite this correctly (Alvarez 18).

4. interpretation:
Explain the quote in your own words, then explain how the quote proves your thesis (and
your topic sentence) true. Shoot for a r least 3-4 sentences of explanation (interpretation)
here.

5. Transition:
A single sentence which provides a bridge between the idea just discussed and the idea to
follow.
 Writing Argument

Source: Troyka, Lynn Quitman. 1996. Simon and Schuster Handbook for Writers. New Jersey:
Prentice Hall

l. Introduction

When writing argument for your college courses, you seek to convince a reader to agree with you
concerning a topic open to debate. A written argument states and supports one posit ion about the
debatable topic. Support for that position depends on evidence, reasons, and. examples chosen for
their direct relation to the point being argued. One section of the written argument might present
and attempt to refute other positions on the topic, but the central thrust of the essay is to argue for
one point of view .

Taking and defending a position in a written argument is an engaging intellectual process, especially
when it involves a topic of substance about which universal agreement is unlikely. The ability to
think critically is challenged by the activity of examining all sides of a topic, choosing one side to
defend , and marshaling convincing support for that one side.
If you are among the people who find any type of arguing distasteful, you are not alone. But rest
assured that written argument differs drastically from everyday, informal arguing. Informal arguing
sometimes originates in anger and might involve bursts of temper or unpleasant emotional
confrontations. Written argument , in contrast, can always be a constructive activity. When you
write an argument, you can disagree without being disagreeable. An effective written argument sets
forth its position calmly, respectfully, and logically. Any passion that underlies a writer's position is
evident not from angry words but from the force of a balanced, well-developed, clearly written
discussion.
The ability to argue reasonably and effectively is an important skill that people need not only in
college but throughout their lives- in family relationships, with friends, and in the business world.
People engage in debates that cal! for an exchange of solidly supported views. Once you become
adept at the techniques of written argument, you can use them equally effectively for oral
argument.

11 Choosing a topic for a written argument

When you choose a topic for written argument, be sure that is open to debate. Be careful not to
confuse matters of information with matters of debate. Facts are matters of information, not debate.
An essay becomes an argument when it takes a position concerning the fact or other piece of
information.

FACT: Students at Detimer Colleger are required to take physical education.

POSITION OPEN TO DEBATE : Students at Deitmer College should not be required to take
physical education.

OPPOSITION OPEN TO DEBATE: Students at Detimer College should be required to take

physical education.

A written argument could take one of these opposing positions and defend it. The essay could not
argue for two or more sides, though it might mention other points of view and attempt to refute
them.
When you are assigned a written argument, be sure to read and think through the assignment
carefully. Instructors construct assignment for written argument in a number of ways. You might
be given both the topic and the posit ion to take on that topic. In such cases, you are expected to
fulfill the assignment whether or not you agree personally with the given point of view. You are
judged on your ability to marshal a defense of the assigned position and to reason logically about
it . Another type of assignment is unstructured, requiring you to choose the debatable topic and the
position to defend. In such cases, the topic that you choose should be suitable for college
writing, not trivial. The topic should be narrowed sufficiently to fit the writing situation. You are
judged on your ability to think of a debatable topic of substance, to narrow the topic so that your
essay can include general statements and specific details, to choose a defensible position about that
topic, and to present and support your position convincingly. If you cannot decide what position you
agree with personally because all sides of a debatable topic have merit, do not get blocked . You
need not make a lifetime commitment to your position. Rather, concentrate on the merits of one
position, and present that position as effectively as possible.

Exercise 1:

Which of the following topics are concerned with fact and which state a position open to debate?

1. The term journalism refers to the business of publishing a regularly recurring text.
2. Television news programs are more influential than they should be.
3. Journalists in the United States operate under the protection of the First Amendment to the
Constitution.
4. Mort reporters are biased in their descriptions of political figures.
5. The government should not let journalists have access to information dealing with national
security.
6. Journalism involves both reporting the news and forming public opinion.
7. Reporters should verify a controversial story with two sources before running it.
8. Weekly newspapers are becoming increasingly popular in large cities.
9. Cartoons furnish one of the more entertaining features of newspapers.
10. Television commentators should not give their own opinion about political and social
matters.

III. Developing an assertion and a thesis statement for written argument

An assertion is a statement that gives a position about a debatable topic and that can be supported
by evidence, reasons, and examples (including facts, statistics, names, experiences, and experts).
The thinking process that moves you from a topic to a defensible position calls, first, for you to
make an assertion about the topic. The exact wording of the assertion often does not find its way
into the essay, but the assertion serves as a focus for your thinking and your writing.

Topic: The commercialization of holidays.

Assertion : Holidays have become too commercialized
Assertion : Holidays have not become too commercialized

Before you decide on an assertion- the posit ion that you want to argue- you need to explore the
topic. Do not rush into deciding on your assertion . Try to wait until you have as full a picture as
possible. Consider all sides. Remember that what mainly separates most good writing from bad
is the writer's ability to move back and forth between general statements and specific
details. Try to avoid a position that limits you to only general statements or to only specific details.
l n deciding on your assertion, apply the memory device of RENNS (Reasons, Examples, Names ,
Numbers, Senses) to see whether you can marshal sufficient details to support your generalizations .
Even if you know immediately what assertion you want to argue for, do not stop there. The more
you think through all sides of the topic, the broader will be the perspective that you bring to your
writing. Also, as you think through your position and consider alternative points of view, be open to
changing your mind and taking an opposite position. Before too long, however, do settle on a
position, switching positions at the last minute lessens your chances of writing an effective essay.
To stimulate your thinking about the topic and your as assertion about it, jot down your thoughts as
they develop. Do not lose the unique opportunity that the act of writing gives you to discover new
ideas and fresh insights. Writers of effective arguments often list for themselves the various points
that come to mind, using two columns to representing visually two contrasting points of view. The
lists can then supply ideas during drafting and revising.
Whenever possible, use outside resources for developing an assertion. These include talking with
other people and conducting research . Getting points of view from other people helps you explore a
debatable topic. As you talk with people, interview them rather than argue with them. Your goal is
to come to know opposing points of view. Written argument can be particularly enhanced when
your position is supported with facts and reference to experts.
Next, using your assertion as a base, compose a thesis statement to use in the essays. It states the
position that your present and support in the essay.

Basic requirements for a theses statements

1. It states the essay's subject the topic that you're discussing
2. It reflects the essay's purpose either to give your reader information or to persuade your
readers to agree with you
3. It includes a focus your assertion that conveys your point of view
4. It uses specific language vague words are avoided
5. It may briefly state the major subdivisions of the essay's topic

Exercise 2

Each of the following set of sentences offers several versions of a thesis statement. Based on the
Basic Requirements listed above, explain why some of the choices in each set are weak, and then
choose the best one which seems to comply with the Basic Requirements.

A. 1. Advertising is complex.
2. Magazine advertisements appeal to readers
3 . Magazine advertisements must be creative
4. To appeal to readers, magazine advertisements must skillfully use language, color and design.

B. 1. Tennis is excellent exercise

2. Playing tennis is fun.
3. Tennis requires various skills
4. Playing tennis is fun for fun and exercise requires agility, stamina, and strategy .

C. 1. Maintaining friendships requires work

2. To have good friends, a person must learn how to be a good friend .
3. To be a good friend, a person must value the meaning of friendship
4. Unless a person is sensitive to others and communicates with them honestly, that person
will not be able to build strong friendships.
D. l. Many people are uninterested in politics.
2. Adults have become increasingly dissatisfied with the political process.
3. Fewer adults than ever vote in local elections.
4. Fewer college students participated in state primaries and voted in state elections this year
than in either of the last two elections.

Exercise 3

Develop an assertion and a thesis statement for a written argument on each of the following topics.

Example: Topic: Book censorship in high school

Assertion :Books should not be censored in high school
Thesis statement: When books are taken off high school library shelves and are
dropped from high school curricula, students are denied exposure to an open exchange of ideas.

Topics:
l . Prisons in Mendoza
2. Drugs and athletics at the Olympic Games
3. Diets for weight loss
4. Grades at the EFL Teachers' Training College

IV. Considering the audience for written argument

The purpose of written argument is to convince a reader- the audience- about a matter of opinion.
When you write about argument, consider one additional factor about audience: the degree of
agreement expected from the reader .
When a topic is emotionally charged, chances are high that any position being argued will elicit
either strong agreement or strong disagreement. For examples, topics such as capital punishment
and gun control arouse very strong emotions in many people. Such topics are emotionally loaded.
Even less emotionally loaded, yet still open to debate, are topics such as whether everyone needs a
college education.
The degree to which a reader might be friendly or hostile can influence what strategies you use to
try to convince that reader. Far example, when you anticipate that many readers will not agree with
you, consider using techniques of Rogerian argument. Rogerian argument has been adapted from
the principles of communication deve1oped by psychologist Carl Rogers. Communication,
according to Rogers, is eased when people find common ground in their points of view. The
common ground in a debate over capital punishment might be that both sides find crime to be a
growing problem today. Once both sides agree about the problem , they might have more tolerance
far the divergence of opinion concerning whether capital punishment is a deterrent to crime.

The ideal format of a Rogerian argument, according to Richard Coe (1981) in Form and
Substance:

The Rogerian Argument

1. Introduction: State the subject as a problem rather than an issue to interest your audience in
reading about something with which they disagree.
2. Fair statement of the opposing position: In this section the writer states the reader position
in a manner that seems fair and accurate to the reader.
 3. Statement of context in which that position may be valid: Here the writer is trying to show
readers that he or she understands the position by asserting that it is valid in some contexts.
4. Fair statement of the writer's position: The goal of this section is to get readers to
understand the writer's position as fairly and thoroughly as the writer has understood theirs.
5. Statement of context in which the writer's position is valid: The writer tries to get the
readers look at the problem from a new perspective and in new contexts.
6. Statement of how the readers would benefit by adopting at least some elements of the
writer's position: The writer appeals to readers self interest. In this section the writer's
position turns from threat to promise.

V. Using the classical pattern for written argument

No one structure fits all written argument. For college courses, most written arguments include
certain elements, as shown below :
l. lntroductory paragraph: sets the context for the position that is argued in the essay.
1. 1 These are some devices to try in your introductory paragraph :
Providing relevant background information
Relating a brief, interesting story or anecdote
Giving a pertinent statistic or statistics
Asking a provocative question or questions
Using an appropriate quotation
Making an analogy
Defining a term used throughout the essay
Identifying the situation

1.2. These are some strategies to avoid in your introductory paragraph :

Obvious statements that refer to what the essay is about or will accomplish, such as
"I am going to discuss the causes of falling oil prices"
Apologies, such as "I am not sure this is right, but this is my opinion."
Overworked expressions such as "Haste really does make waste, as I
recently discovered" or "Love is grand."

2. Thesis statement: states the position being argued. In a short essay, the thesis statement often
appears at the end of the introductory paragraph.

3. Background information : gives the reader basic information needed for understanding the
position being argued. This inf01mation can be part of the introductory paragraph or can appear in
its own paragraph .

4. Reasons or evidence: supports the position being argued. This material is the core of the essay.
The evidence should be sufficient (the more evidence, the better), representative (assess objectivity
and fairness), relevant, accurate (coming from reliable sources) and qualified (us words such as
some, many, a few, probably, possibly, perhaps, may, usually, and. often).
The best sequence for presenting the complete set of reasons and types of
evidence depends on the impact you want to achieve. Moving from evidence most familiar to the
reader to evidence least familiar helps the reader move from the known to the unknown. This order
might catch the reader's interest early on. Moving from evidence least important might build the
reader's suspense.

5. Anticipation of likely objections and response to them: mentions positions opposed to the one
being argued and rebuts them briefly. In classical argument, this "refutation" appears in its own
paragraph , immediately before the concluding paragraph. An alternative placement is
immediately after the introductory paragraph, as a bridge to the rest of the essay; in such
arrangements the essay's thesis statement falls either at the end of the introductory paragraph. In
still another arrangement, each paragraph that presents a type of evidence or reason also mentions
and responds to the opposing position.

6. Concluding paragraph: brings the essay to an end that flows logically and gracefully from the rest
of the essay. It does not cut off the reader abruptly

Devices to try in concluding paragraphs:

Using any device appropriate for introductory paragraphs, but avoid using the same one in
both the introduction and the conclusion.
Summarizing the main points of the essay, but avoid a summary if the essay is less than 3
pages long.
Asking for awareness, action, or a similar resolution from readers.
Looking ahead to the future.

Strategies to avoid in concluding paragraphs:

Introducing new ideas or facts that belong in the body of the essay.
Rewording your introduction.
Announcing what you have done, as in In this paper, I have explained...
Making absolute claims, as in I have proved that...
Apologizing, as in Even though I am not an expert, I feel my position is correct., or I
may not have convinced you, but there's good evidence for my position.

VI. Using the Toulmin model for argument

The Toulmin model for argument has recently gained popularity among teachers and
students because it clarifies the major elements in an effective argument. . The terms used in the
Toulmin model may seem unfamiliar . But worry not! The concepts that the terms describe are
ones you have encountered before. What is new is placing those concepts into the vocabulary and
structure of the Toulmin model.

Elements of the Toulmin Model of Argumentative

Toulimin's term Familiar term
The Claim --------------------------------------------> the main point or central message, usually
disclosed in the theses statement
The Support -----------------------------------------> data or other evidence, from broad reasons to
specific evidence
The Warrant ------------------------------------------> underlying assumptions, usually not stated but
clearly implied; readers infer assumptions

Like inferences, which are implications you must find "between the lines," warrants are implied
assumptions you must infer from the stated argument.

A warrant or assumption may be based on:

1) Authority: it rests on respect for credibility and trustworthiness of the person.
2) Substance: it rests on the reliability of factual evidence
3) Motivation: it rests on the values and beliefs of the audience and the writer.

The concepts in the Toulmin model can help you read arguments with a critical eye. The concepts
are equally useful for you as a writer. As you draft and revise you r written argument , evaluate what
you are saying by checking whether you can analyze it for the elements in the Toulmin model. If
you can't, your argument needs work.

VD. Defining terms in written argument

When you define terms, you explain what you mean by key words that you see. Words are key
words when they are central to the message that you want to communicate. The meaning of some
key words is readily evident. Key words open to interpretation, however, should be made specific
enough to be clear.

No Commercialism at holiday time is bad .

Yes Commercialism at holiday time is ruining the spirit of the holidays.
Yes Commercialism at holiday time tempts too many people to spend more money than they
can afford.

Some key words might vary with the context of a discussion and should be explained in an essay.
Abstract words such as love, freedom, and democracy have to be explained because they have
different meanings in different contexts. Other key terms might be unfamiliar to the reader even
though they are known words.
Many students ask whether they should use actual dictionary definitions in an essay. Looking words
up in a dictionary to understand precise meanings is a very important activity for writers. Quoting a
dictionary definition , however, is not always wise. Dictionary definitions tend to be overused in
student writing, and they are often seen as the "easy way out". Using an extended definition is
usually a more effective approach. If you do use a dictionary definition in your writing. be sure to
work it into your material gracefully . Do not simply tack it on abruptly to what you are saying. In
general, do not rely on it for your opening sentence. Also, be aware that references to a dictionary
must be complete. Do not simply refer to "Webster's", which is far too general. Each dictionary has
its own name, such as Webster 's New World Dictionary.

Exercise 4:

Rewrite the following paragraph, improving its persuasiveness by defining key words that may be
vague to the reader

Some Americans react strongly to actions that show disrespect for our flag. They revere it as a
symbol of the values for which the United States is known around the world . They are quick to
rise up against those who would use their freedom to desecrate Old Glory, calling them traitors to
the Constitution and all it upholds : their rights and their democratic form of government. Calling
for a Constitutional amendment, they even want to restrict their freedoms by making it illegal to
misuse the flag. Wouldn't such an amendment show disrespect for the freedom the flag
represents?
Vlll. Reasoning effectively in written argument

When you reason effectively, you increase your chances of convincing your reader to agree with
you . In many instances. you cannot expect actually to change your reader 's mind . The basis for a
debatable position is often personal opinion or belief, neither of which can be expected to changes
as the result of one written argument. Nevertheless, you still have an important goal: to convince
your reader that you r point of view has merit. People often "agree to disagree", in the best spirit of
intellectual exchange.

An argument of good quality relies on three types of appeals to reason: the logical, the emotional,
and the ethical.

How to use the three appeals:

1. Be logical: Use sound reasoning
2. Enlist the emotions of the reader: enlist the values and beliefs of the reader, usually by
arousing "the better self' of the reader.
3. Establish credibility : Show that you as the writer can be relied upon as a 1
knowledgeable person with good sense.

1. Be logical
The most widely used appeal in written argument is the logical appeal, called
logos by the ancient Greeks. Logical reasoning is sound reasoning This type of reasoning is
important in all thinking and writing. Logical reasoning calls for using evidence well.

Guidelines for evaluating a secondary source

1. Is the source authoritative? Was it written by an expert or a person whom you can expect
to write credibly on the subject?
2. Is the source reliable? Does the material appear in a reputable publication- in a book
published by an established publisher or in a respected journal or magazine?
3. Is the source well-known? Is the source cited elsewhere as you read about the subject?
4. Is the information well supported? Is the source based on primary evidence? If secondary
evidence, is it authoritative and reliable?
5. Is the tone balanced? Is the language relatively objective (therefore reliable) or slanted
(probably not reliable)
6. Is the source current? Is the material current (therefore more likely to be reliable), or has
later authoritative and reliable research made it outdated? (old is not necessarily
unreliable. In many fields, classic works of research remain authoritative for decades or
even centuries.

Logical reasoning also means:

Analyzing cause and effect correctly.
Using patterns of inductive reasoning and deductive reasoning.
Distinguishing between fact and opinion.

2. The emotional appeal

The emotional appeal, called pathos by the ancient Greeks, can be effective when used in
conjunction with logical appeals. The word emotional has a specific meaning in this context. It
means arousing and enlisting the emotions of the reader . Often it arouses the "better self ' of the
reader by eliciting sympathy, civic pride. and other feelings based on values and beliefs. Effective
emotional appeal use description and examples to stir emotions, but they leave the actual
stirring to the reader. Restraint is more effective than excessive sentimentality.

3. The ethical appeal

The ethical appeal, called ethos by the ancient Greeks, means establishing the ethics and credibility
of the writer. Credibility is gained if the writer uses correct facts, undistorted evidence, and accurate
interpretations of events. Readers do not trust a writer who states opinions as fact or who makes a
claim that cannot possibly be supported. The statement "A child who does not get gifts for
Christmas suffers a trauma from which recovery is impossible" is an opinion as well as an
exaggeration. It has no place i n written argument.
Ethical appeals cannot take the place of logical appeals, but the two types of appeals work well
together. One effective way to make an ethical appeal is to draw on personal experience. However,
if you use personal experience, always be sure that it relates directly to a generalization that you are
supporting . Be aware that a personal experience can say as much about the writer as about the
experience.

Exercise 5:

Analyze the following paragraphs to discover the dominant appeal of each. Support your choice
with evidence from the text
Text 1
John F. Kennedy "I inaugural Address
We observe today not a victory of party but a celebration of freedom symbolizing an end as well as
a beginning- signifying renewal as well as change. For I have sworn before you and Almighty God
the same solemn oath our forebears prescribed nearly a century and three quarters ago.
The world is very different now. For man holds in his mortal bands the power to abolish all forms of
human poverty and all forms of human life. And yet the same revolutionary beliefs for which our
forebears fought are still at issue around the globe the belief that the rights of man come not from
the generosity of the state but from the hand of God.
We dare not forget today that we are the heirs of that first revolution. Let the word go forth from
this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation of
Americans- born in this century, tempered by war; disciplined by a hard and bitter peace, proud of
our ancient heritage- and unwilling to witness or permit the slow undoing of those human rights to
which this nation has always been committed, and to which we are committed today at home and
around the world.

Text 2:
Author: James Baldwin
"Fifth Avenue Uptown: A Letter from Harlem "
Harlem got its first private project, Riverton -which is now naturally , a slum about twelve years
ago because at that time "Negroes" were not allowed to live in Stuyvesant Town. Harlem watched
Riverton go up, therefore, in the most violent bitterness of spirit, and hated it long before the
builders arrived. They began hating it at about the time people began moving out of their condemn
houses to make room for this additional. proof of how thoroughly the white world despised them.
And they had scarcely moved in, naturally, before they began smashing windows, defacing walls,
urinating in the elevators, and fornicating in the playgrounds . Liberal s, both white and black, were
appalled at the spectacle. 1 was appalled by the liberal innocence- or cynicism , which comes out in
practice as much the same thing. Other people were delighted to be able to point to proof positive
that nothing could be done to better the Jot of the colored people. They were, and are, right in one
respect: that nothing can be done as long as they are treated like colored people. The people in
Harlem know they are living there because white people do not think they are good enough to live
anywhere else. No amount of "improvement" can sweeten this fact. Whatever money is now being
earmarked to improve this, or that any other ghetto, might as well be burned. A
ghetto can be improved in one way only: out of existence.

IX. Establishing a reasonable tone in written argument

To be reasonable, you have to be fair. By anticipating opposing positions and responding to them,
you have particularly good chance to show that you are fair. When you alert your reader to other
ways of thinking about the issue, you demonstrate that you have not ignored other positions. Doing
this implies respect for the other side, which in tum makes the tone of the essay more reasonable.
To achieve a reasonable tone, choose your words carefully. Avoid words that exaggerate. Use
figurative language, such as similes and metaphors, to enhance your point rather than distort it. No
matter how strongly you disagree with opposing arguments, never insult the other side. Name-
calling is impolite, shows poor self control, and demonstrates poor judgment.
Artificial language also ruins a reasonable tone.

X. Writing and revising a written argument

Revision checklist for written argument

1. Does the thesis statement concern a debatable topic?
2. Is the material structured well for a written argument?
3. Do the reasons or evidence support the thesis statement? Are the generalizations supported by
specific details?
4. Are opposing positions mentioned and responded to?
5. Are the appeals to reason used correctly and well?
6. Is the tone reasonable?
 Writing Argumentative Essays: A Review

Sources:

Bachman, Susan and Melinda Barth (comp). 2007. Between Worlds. A Reader, Rhetoric
and Handbook. Fifth Edition. New York: Pearson Education .

Hacker, Diana. 2006. The Bedford Handbook. Seventh Edition . Boston: Bedford/St Marti n 's.

I. Argument

Convincing others that your beliefs and perspectives are worth understanding, and even supporting
can be a challenge. You may have to counter both preconceptions and convictions in order to get
readers to modify their beliefs or change their behavior. In fact, persuasion is a part of many writing
situations, and to convince a reader that a certain assertion or opinion is supportable is the heart of
argument (Bachman and Barth 2007: 432).

II. Arguments and Proposals

A distinction can be made between two types of writing that attempt to convince readers to
reconsider their views and beliefs:

(1) An argument employs logic to reason a point and get the reader to think.
(2) A proposal employs logic to influence others and get the reader to think and act

Although these types of writing often overlap, some assignments seem to fit more in one category
than the other. If you are asked to analyze an essay and argue for or against the writer's view, your
essay will involve argumentation . You will be expected to focus on a thesis that can provoke the
reader's thought and to use supporting evidence that is logically presented and carefully analyzed .
If you are asked to offer a solution to a problem or to persuade others to modify or change their
behavior, your essay will need to include a proposal in addition to argumentation. You will be
expected to focus on a thesis that provokes a response.
Therefore you will also need to suggest a reason plan of action or activities for your reader.

III. When to Use Argument

Argument strategies may be used in all types of essays. Whenever you are attempting to convince a
reader that one course of action is superior to another (comparison-contrast), or that one
interpretation of a reading has validity (analysis), you will need to employ argument strategies.
Because you are attempting to convince readers of a view that may be different from their ow it
often helps to begin by illustrating what is wrong with the current thinking or practice on this issue.
For example, if a writer is arguing that female students in the early grades need greater
encouragement to succeed in math and science classes, then it would make sense to establish the
need first . The introduction and part of the body of the essay might demonstrate how females are
discouraged from pursuing math and science majors and how few women today excel in these
fields, even though studies indicate females are no less capable of succeeding i n science and math
than males are.

IV. Audience and Argument

It is critical to identify one's audience and to find an approach that would best appeal to them.
Identification of the audience may include asking these questions:

(1) Is t he reader aware that the problem exists?

(2) Will the reader find the problem sufficiently important?
(3) Is the reader affected by the problem?
(4) Do any readers have special interests or biases that will cause them to resist the information?
The argument? The essay?
lf the writer can determine whether the audience is likely to be sympathetic, neutral, or hostile, the
approach can then be designed with this in mind .

V. Organizing and Developing an Argument

An outline can be critical for keeping the argument focused and organized.
Often this involves an informal list of points, written in a logical order, which t he writer plans to
cover. The outline may also help an instructor follow the argument and detect any flaws or gaps
before the essay is actually written. In such cases, a more formal outline may be required .

VI. Avoiding Logical Fallacies

If the thinking and analysis in an argument are not logical and have no basis or foundation in
reason, a logical fallacy will result, discrediting the argument and eroding the reader's trust. Let's
look at some of the most common types:

Name calling, personal attacks, illogical claims: Whether intentional or not, these slurs are
often associated with advertisers and politicians, whose careers may depend on their power
to manipulate and mislead the public. Calling someone a "liberal" or a "redneck" is intended
to get the audience to respond emotionally to a prejudice rather than to think rationally about
an issue. Often these attacks are designed to divert attention from the issue to the opponent's
personal traits or associates, with the aim of casting doubt on his or her character or
expertise.

Circular argument: Does not prove anything because it simply restates the assertion .
E.g.:"Instructors who teach writing are better teachers because good instructors teach
writing."

Either/or argument : Sets up a false black-and-white dilemma, assuming that a particular

viewpoint or course of action can have only two diametrically opposed outcomes. E.g.
"College professors either require writing assignments or they are poor teachers."

Hasty generalizations: Consists of drawing a broad conclusion from a few

unrepresentative generalizations . E.g.:"Math teachers use Scantron tests; math teachers don't teach
students to think critically."

False analogy: Compares two things that aren't really comparable and therefore results in a
false conclusion . E.g. " If developmental math classes can be taught effectively in a large
lecture hall, developmental English classes can be, too."

Bandwagon appeal: Suggests that everyone is doing this- why don't you?" This pressures
the reader to conform whether or not the view or action seems logical or right. E.g.: "All
good teachers are dividing students into small-group workshops in their classes today."
These are some of the many logical fallacies that can weaken an argument. Instead of relying on
illogical attacks and charges, writers must seek Logical support for their positions and seek
legitimate flaws in their opponent's argument.

VII. Conceding and Refuting

Rather than twisting facts or attacking an opponent, t is best to anticipate objections and refute
them, logically and directly, before the reader can utter But. .. Overlooking or ignoring potential
boles in an argument can render it vulnerable attack. Your argument will not necessarily be
weakened if you recognize what may appear to be a weakness in your plan- provided you can refute
it and show that it does1 really undermine your argument.
Another effective strategy is to acknowledge viewpoint s and perhaps even admit they have merit,
but then show how your solution or viewpoint is still superior. Such a strategy suggests that you are
informed, open-minded, and reasonable- qualities that make the reader more receptive to your
argument.
Arguments and proposals written by students can be more than mere classroom exercises. They can
be sent to newspapers, television stations, corporations, and government boards.

VIII. Evaluating an Argument

As you read your argument, consider these questions to evaluate its effectiveness:
(l) Who is the targeted audience, and how does the writer appeal to this audience?
(2) What is the problem? What is the thesis?
(3) What are the supporting points?
(4) What are the strengths of the argument?
(5) Does the writer anticipate and refute objections?
(6) What are the weaknesses? Are there any logical fallacies?
(7) How does the ending bring satisfying closure to the e say?
 Constructing Reasonable Arguments

In writing an argument you take a stand a debatable issue. The question being debated might be a
matter of public policy, as illustrated in (1).

(1) Should religious groups be allowed to meet on public school property?

(2) What is the least dangerous way to dispose of nuclear waste?
(3) Is it feasible to use CALL in Mendocinian EFL public classrooms?
(4) ls it better to teach EFL in co-ed schools?
On such questions, reasonable people may disagree.
When you construct a reasonable argument , your goal is to reveal your current understanding of the
truth about a subject or to propose the best solution available for solving a problem -without being
needlessly combative. In constructing your argument, you join a conversation with other writers
and readers. Your aim is to convince readers to reconsider their opinions by offering new reasons to
question an old viewpoint.

l. Examine your issue's social and intellectual contexts

Arguments appear in social and intellectual contexts. In particular, scholarly debates play
themselves out in intellectual contexts, but they have a social dimension too. Scholars and
researchers rarely work in a vacuum: They respond to the contributions of other specialists in the
field, often building on others' views and refining them, but at times challenging them.
Because many of your readers will be aware of the social and intellectual contexts in which your
issue is grounded , you will be at a serious disadvantage if you are not informed . That's why it is a
good idea to conduct some research before preparing your argument : consulting even a few sources
can help.

II. View your audience as a panel of jurors

Do not assume that your audience already agrees with you : instead , envision
skeptical readers who will make up their minds after listening to all sides of the argument. If you
are arguing a public policy issue, aim your paper at readers who represent a variety of opinions.
Al times, you can deliberately narrow your audience. If you are working within a word limit, for
example, you might not have the space in which to address the concerns of all parties. Or you
might be primarily interested in reaching one segment of a general audience.
ln the case of scholarly debates, you will be addressing readers who share you r interest in a
discipline such as literature or applied linguistics. Such readers belong to a group with an agreed-
upon way of investigating and talking about issues. Though they generally agree about procedures,
scholars in and academic discipline often disagree about particular issues. Once you see how they
disagree about your issue, you should be able to imagine a jury that reflect s the variety of opinions
they hold .

III. In your introduction, establish credibility and state your position

When you are constructing an argument, make sure your introduction contains a thesis sentences
that states your position on the issue you have chosen to debate. In the sentences leading up to the
thesis, establish your credibility with readers by showing that you are knowledgeable and fair-
minded . Build common ground with readers who may not be in initial agreement with your views
and show them why they need to consider your thesis.

IV. Back up your thesis with persuasive lines of argument

Arguments of any complexity contain lines of argument that, when taken together, might reasonably
persuade readers that the thesis has merit. If you sum up your main lines of argument, you will have
a rough outline of your essay. The outline will. consist of your central claim- the thesis- and any
supporting claims that back it up. In your paper, you will provide evidence for each of these claims.

V. Support your claims with specific evidence

You will need to support your central claim and any subordinate claims with evidence : facts,
statistics, examples and illustrations, expert opinion, and so on.
Depending on the issue you have chosen to write about, you may or may not need to do some
reading to gather evidence. Some topics can be developed through personal experience and research
tools such as questionnaires and interviews. Most debatable topics, however, require that you
consul some written sources.

If any of your evidence is based on reading, you must document your sources. Documentation gives
credit to the authors and shows readers how to locate a source in case they want to access its
credibility or explore the issue further.

V.1. Using facts and statistics

A fact is something that is known with certainty because it has been objectively verified. Statistics,
instead, are collections of numerical facts.
Most arguments are supported at least to some extent by facts and statistics.
Writers often use statistics in selective ways to bolster their own views. If you suspect that a writer's
handling of statistics is not quite fair, read authors with opposing views, who may give you a fuller
understanding of the numbers.

V.2. Using examples and illustrations

Examples and illustrations prove a point by themselves, but when used in combination with other
forms of evidence they flesh out an argument and bring it to life. Because they often have an
emotional dimension, they can reach readers in ways that statistics cannot.

V.3. Citing expert opinion

Although they are no substitute for careful reasoning of your own, the vies of an expert can
contribute to the force of your argument .
When you rely on expert opinion, make sure that your source is an expert i n the field you are
writing about. In some cases, you may need to provide credentials showing why your source is
worth listening to. When including expert testimony in your paper, you can summarize or
paraphrase the expert 's opinion or you can quote the expert's exact words. You will of course need
to document the source.

VI. Anticipate objections; counter opposing arguments

Readers who already agree with you need no convincing, although they should welcome a well-
argued case for their point of view. But indifferent or skeptical readers may resist your arguments.
To be willing to give up a position that seems reasonable, are reader has to see that there is an even
more reasonable one. In addition to presenting your own case, therefore, you should review the
opposing arguments and attempt to counter them.

It might seem at first that drawing attention to an opposing point of view or contradictory piece of
evidence would weaken your argument. But by anticipating and countering objections to your
argument, you show yourself as a reasonable and well informed writer. You also establish your
purpose, demonstrate the significance of the issue you are debating, and ultimately strengthen your
argument.
There is no best place in an essay to deal with opposing views. Often it is useful to summarize the
opposing position early in your essay . After stating your thesis but before developing your own
arguments, you might have a paragraph that takes up the most important counterargument. Or you
can anticipate objections paragraph by paragraph as you develop your case. Wherever you decide to
deal with opposing arguments, do you best to explain the arguments of others accurately and fairly.

VII. Build common ground

As you counter opposing arguments, try to build common ground with readers who do not initially
agree with your views. If you can show that you share your readers' concerns, they will be more
likely to acknowledge the validity of your argument.
People believe that intelligence and decency support their side of an argument. To change sides,
they must continue to feel intelligent and decent. Otherwise they will persist in their opposition.
 Discursive Essays

Discursive writing discusses. It presents an argument in a more balanced way than argumentative

and persuasive writing and does not argue for or against a point throughout the essay. After having

assessed and evaluated all arguments, however, the writer generally states his/her opinion.

General characteristics of discursive writing:

Discursive essays are often written in answer to questions such as "Do you agree (or
disagree)...",

"Discuss..." or "To what extent..."

The thesis statement is generally non-comittal, i.e., it merely presents the controversy, without

indicating what conclusion the writer will come to. A typical thesis statement for a discursive

essay would be: "In order to come to a considered conclusion about ..., we must take a number

of factors into account".

The essay is written in an objective, impersonal style, without the personal opinion of the writer

intruding. Opinions or arguments are often attributed to some anonymous "authority", for

example: "Whilst some people argue that ... others are of the opinion that...".

The topic sentences of the paragraphs may stress continuity between similar arguments, for

example: "It is also argued that...", "A further argument that one frequently encounters in this

context is that ..."

However, the topic sentence may also highlight the progression of the discussion by pointing out

the contrasts between the opposing arguments. For example: "However there are also strong

arguments against this point of view...", "Another counter argument is that..."

In the conclusion, the writer often comes to a conclusion and gives his/her opinion more or less

tentatively. Again, this is often expressed impersonally, for example: "Given the reaction this issue

has caused...., it seems fair to conclude that...", "After evaluating these arguments, the

conclusion seems inescapable that...", "After examining all the evidence, one is bound to admit

that..."
Discursive vs. Argumentative

Writers try to accomplish different things in different articles. The goal of an essay dictates the
format and style of that piece. There are different forms and many of them are quite similar.
However, each has unique requirements that make it different from the others. Two such similar
styles are the discursive essay and the argumentative essay. The difference between the two lies in
the purpose and structure of the piece.
Discursive Purpose
The goal of a discursive essay is to present a balanced and objective examination of a subject. Like
an argumentative essay, the topic may be controversial, but the discursive essay attempts to present
a much more balanced discussion of the issue. It does not, however, have to be expressly neutral.
The essay should present both sides of the discussion, supported by facts and research. The author
may draw tentative conclusions about the subject and suggest them to the reader.
Discursive Style
The discursive style is written in a more formal and impersonal style than other essays. It begins
with a introduction to the topic. Each issue should be discussed in a separate paragraph and each
paragraph should begin with a strong topic sentence. The essay will typically alternate a paragraph
of point followed by a paragraph of counterpoint. Discursive essays often have transitional wording
leading into the next paragraph. The writer may choose to either express a low-key opinion in the
final paragraph or leave readers to draw their own conclusions.
Argumentative Purpose
The writer of an argumentative essay attempts to clearly present a strong position on a
particular topic. Its purpose is to both educate and persuade the reader on a particular point of
view. In this regard it is similar to a persuasive essay, but generally presents its view in a
stronger, perhaps more controversial, way. It may target an audience that is more resistant to
its viewpoint or message.
Argumentative Style
Argumentative essays follow a general format. The writer states an initial thesis that contains
the point of view for which the author is arguing. The body generally presents both sides of the
argument, although each con is refuted in turn. The author may first present the pros of the
argument, then offer the cons and refutation later in one paragraph. Or, each con may be both
presented and refuted in an individual paragraph. The author presents the desired conclusion
in the final paragraph
PART 2 - CRITICAL READING, THINKING ANO WRITING
Nelleke Bak

How often have you come across the following instruction: "Critically discuss...."? lt is a phrase
used often, but not always with a clear understanding of what it means to discuss something
critically. l once asked my colleagues who had set exam questions starting with "Critically
discuss ...." what exactly they were expecting the students to do. After some initial vague responses
like "Well, you know, critically discuss'', I pushed them to spell out exactly what they thought this
entailed. The responses were widely varied. Each colleague had a specific idea of what they thought
it meant: "Well, obviously, students have to say why they agree or disagree with the author";
"Students must analyze the structure of the argument, assess its the validity and determine the truth
of the claims"; "l expect students to highlight the underlying assumptions the author makes"; "Of
course, it means they have to contextualize the author's claim"; "I want my students to develop the
author's main idea further by examining the possible implications of the claim"; "What l am looking
for is whether students have analyzed the meanings of the concepts used by the author"; "Obviously
it means that students must assess the contribution to author makes to the existing understanding of
the topic", and more! Now, each one of these is a pretty sophisticated academic skill. Are you
expected to do all these? What does your lecturer or supervisor expect you to do? What is the
accepted academic expectation of what critical discussion entails? The following notes are
guidelines to help you find some structure to developing a critical discussion.

More often than not, our initial response to the instruction "Critically discuss ..." is to think that we
must find fault, or highlight the weakness in the argument, or reject certain claims. Although this
might at times be part of a critical discussion, it is by no means the only or even most appropriate
way to engage with the claims expressed. So, before looking at what critical discussion (or
engagement) is, let's get clarity about what it is not:

What critical engagement is not

it is not the same as disagreement

it does not aim to embarrass, humiliate or seek to dominate
it does not mean nitpicking

So, what does it mean to read, or think or write critically? The following are some pointers to help
you both in your reading of others' texts as well as in constructing your own writing for assignments
and your thesis.

What critical engagement is

it entails giving a clear exposition of the argument;

it entails determining and assessing the support for a certain claim you or others have made
in order to get a clearer understanding of an issue;
it entails determining the truth of the premises, and the validity of the argument;
it entails clarifying and analyzing the language used;
it entails showing how the article or book fits into the academic debates and current
literature - to what or whom is the text responding?
it entails discussing the theoretical and social context in which the ideas are developed;
it involves a discussion of the possible implications the ideas or claims could have;
it demands informed thinking and creativity.
One way of illustrating it graphically is:

CONTEXT TEXT (book or article) What subject?

What do other authors say about this topic? Argument? Themes?
How does this text contribute to the shared
understanding of this topic?
READER (Self) AUTHOR
What are my responses? What issues of my What i s her/his purpose?
thesis are addressed? Theoretical position?
How does the text inform my thinking about
these?

I've noted that critical engagement (which incorporates critical reading, thinking and writing) is not
merely rejecting or finding fault with someone's argument or position. Rather, it is a rational
reflection on one's own and other's ideas in order to get a clearer understanding of an issue. One of
the main things to remember when engaged in critical reasoning is that you must first have a clear
understanding of what the author is saying be/ore you can critically engage with the ideas
expressed.

When engaging critically with a text, follow these 4 steps:

Clear exposition of text
1. Describe (i.e. give a clear exposition or summary of) what the author is saying and doing. You
do this by pre-reading, reading, re-reading, making notes, and summarizing them.
Critical evaluation of the text
2. Analyze and interpret what the author is saying and doing
3. Evaluate the author's claims, argument and approach
4. Relate these to other literature or scholarship on the topic (or to your own theses theme)

You cannot reject, accept, modify, adapt, disagree or agree with something if you don't fully
understand what it is you're rejecting, accepting, modifying, adapting, disagreeing or agreeing with.
Therefore, you must first give an exposition of the text, before stating your own responses.

How to I start to engage critically?

The four steps sound all rather grand, but how do you actually do so? Where do you begin? In
order to do the 4 steps, here are a few guidelines. The following are some points that may help you
develop systematically the task of first clarifying the author's ideas and then developing your own
critical engagement with these ideas.

1. Pre-read
One way of getting a quick idea of what the main thrust of the text is that you are going to engage
with, is to do some pre-reading before starting on the actual text:
read the fly-leaf of the book (what is the main idea the author is developing?, who is the
author?, where is s/he located?, when was the text written?),
 read the preface or introduction of the book (often in an edited collection, there is a short
analysis of the various chapters);
read the abstract (journal articles have a summary of the article at the beginning)
check the reference list (are current, important works listed?)

2. Read and Re-read the text

Don't expect that you will grasp the ideas in the text on one reading only, this usually involves a
number of re-reads.
Do you understand the literal meanings of the words used? Keep a dictionary at hand and look up
key words whose meanings you 're not sure of.
What metaphorical meanings (i.e. meanings through association) does the author develop?
Are there cultural terms of idiomatic expressions you're not familiar with? A good dictionary will
spell these out.

3. Make systematic notes

One of the ways to find out what you are thinking about what the author is saying, is to write down
your thoughts. It is extremely important to work toward seeing a clear and accurate picture of the
text. One approach to accurate seeing is to try and suspend your judgment for a while, focusing
instead on describing or outlining a text. A student once described th is as "listening to the author's
voice" rather than to her own. Remember, the first step in critical engagement is to give a clear
exposition or summary of the author's findings or argument.
In order to help you analyze the content and argument of the text, read each section or paragraph
carefully and then do two things: note its main point or idea and its function in the text - or putting
it more simply, write down, in one sentence, what each section says and what it does.

Here is an example :

The text:
The case for brands

Imagine a world without brands. It existed once, and still exists, more or less, in the world's
poorest places. No raucous advertising, no ugly billboards, no McDonald 's. Yet, given a chance
and a bit of money, people flee this Eden. They seek out Budweiser instead of their local tipple,
ditch nameless shirts for Gap, prefer Marlboros to home-grown smokes. What should one
conclude? That people are pawns in the hands of giant companies with huge advertising budgets
and global reach? Or that brands bring something that people think is better than they had before?
The pawn theory is argued, forcefully if not always coherently, by Naomi Klein, author of "No
Logo", a book that has become a bible of the anti-globalisation movement. Her thesis is that brands
have come to represent a "fascist state where we all salute the logo and have little opportunity for
criticism because our newspapers, television stations, Internet servers, streets and retail spaces are
all controlled by multinational corporate interests."The ubiquity and power of brand advertising
curtails choice, she claims; produced cheaply in third-world sweatshops, branded goods displace
local alternatives and force a grey cultural homogeneity on the world. ...
Yet this is a wholly misleading account of the nature of brands. They began as a form not of
exploitation, but of consumer protection. In pre-industrial days, people knew exactly what went
into their meat pies and which butchers were trustworthy ; once they moved to cities, they no
longer did. A brand provided a guarantee of reliability and quality. lts owner had a powerful
incentive to ensure that each pie was as good as the previous one, because that would persuade
people to come back for more. Just as distance created a need for brands in the 19th century, so in
the age of globalisation and the Intemet it reinforces their value. (Extract from The Economist,
September 8th 2001, p9)
Make 2 columns:
Paragraph What the author says What the author does
1 Does brand advertising make pawns of people or Raises the contested issue by
does it bring something better? setting up the two sides.
2 Klein argues that brand advertising curtails Summarizes Klein 's pawn
choice. theory as one response to the
issue.
3 Brands protected consumers and offers reliability Raises an alternative to Klein's
and quality . theory and substantiates with
historical contextualisation .

4. Examine, categorise and summarise your notes

Once you have done this, read through your notes and then write down your responses to the
following questions. This will help you develop a clear exposition of the text, in other words, to
help you describe what the author is saying. Your exposition should be a clear and honest reflection
of the author's text.

Give an exposition o/ the text

1. What is the topic that the author addresses? What is s/he specifically focusing on? What are the
boundaries of the topic?
2. What is said? What is the main idea that is developed ? The main claims? What is the author's
main position with regards to the topic? Where does s/he stand? (See the "tree" structure to help
you determine the author's main idea.)
3. What is the structure of the text? What comes first, second, third? How does the author bind
them together?
4. What interpretations are offered of the main concepts? What does the author mean by
"x''?
5. How are these main ideas or the position supported? Support or evidence can be offered in
various forms:
references to other authors
examples, case studies
metaphors - using an image to illustrate a point
reasons and development of argument
conceptual analysis
cause and effect
statistics
literature review
historical contextualisation
6. In which paradigm is the author located? Through which conceptual lenses is the author looking
at the issue? (Remember, there is no such thing as a "neutral " view.)
7. What methodology is the author using i n order to make sense of the issue or to develop a
particular position?
8. In what context is the author writing? Place? Date? In what discipline? In response to what or
whom?

5. Evaluate The Text - the main idea,the structure of the argument, the author's
purpose,the context,the contribution to scholarship

By now have a clear grasp of what the author is saying. This is a necessary first step in reading
critically, but it's not enough. Now you need to assess what the author is saying. Remember, critical
engagement does not necessarily mean that you have to find fault, rather it means that you discuss
the author's contribution to the on-going academic conversation about the issue addressed. In order
to get a grasp of this, develop a response to some (or all) of the following questions:

Critical engagement with the text

1. Are the limits of the topic appropriate? What is not said? Why not? Is this a serious
omission? Are the limits of the topic too narrow, too broad? lf the limits are too broad is the
author in danger of generalizing too much? lf the limits are too narrow, is the author saying
anything of interest?
2. Are the interpretations of the main concepts offered clear? Does the author rely on "buzz
words" on popular rhetoric, or are the meanings of the key concepts clearly stated? Words or
concepts are not "discovered", they are constructed for particular purposes. What are these
purposes? Language embodies the perspective from which we view a particular issue. lt reveals
how we order our experiences, what assumptions we make, and reflects what we think. (Since
ideas are expressed in language, the analysis of language is extremely important in our critical
engagement with these ideas.)
3. Are supports for the main claims:
appropriate to the context? (Does the author, for example, use findings from other fields or
disciplines and transport them into another context? lf so, are these illuminating or
distorting? In what way?)
true? (Is there counter evidence that might contradict these supports? Or are there other findings
that substantiate the author's supports?)
valid? (Does the author systematically develop the position or are there logical jumps?)
4. What could be possible counter-examples? What other perspectives or conclusions are possible?
5. Does the author make certain assumptions? (For example, does the author assume a high
literacy rate among the population, a certain level of economic welfare, certain divisions in society?
Are these justified assumptions? Of course, no author can spell out all the assumptions on which the
ideas s/he develops are based, but you as a critical engager need to be able to judge whether there
are assumptions that ought to have been spelt out but aren 't)
6. Is the methodology used appropriate? Does it reflect the research practices of the discipline?
Could the author have followed another methodology? What does the author's methodology (or the
other one) bring to light which the other approach doesn 't? Is the sample size appropriate? Are the
criteria for choosing the sample appropriate for the main idea the author develops?
7. How would the issue have been interpreted in another pa rad gm? (Think of the duck/ rabbit
example which illustrates that the same drawing can be interpreted in two quite different ways.)
Language not only reflects what we think, but i t also influences thinking and shapes our
perspectives. We see with concepts, rather than with our eyes.
8. The ideas are expressed in a particular context (date, setting, discipline, in response to a particular
issue). How can these be extended into perhaps another context? (Can the ideas expressed by for
example an American author be used fruitfully in a South African context? What are the particular
dynamics of SA that will have an impact on these ideas? In other words, what are the possible
implications of these ideas in a South African context? Also, can ideas expressed by, for example, a
political scientist be used in an educational setting? Are there specific dynamics in an educational
context which will impact on these ideas? In other words, what would be the implication s of these
ideas in, for example, a school setting?)
9. What experiences of the author might have influenced her/his writing? What else has the author
written? How does this link with the author's previous writing?
1O. What are the connections between this text and other texts written on this topic? What
contribution does this text make to the shared understanding of the subject? What is the scholarly or
social significance of this text? Texts are part of an on-going academic conversation. It is important
that you have some idea of where in the academic conversation this text can be placed.
11. Is there anything of relevance missing from the book? Certain kinds of evidence, or
methods of analysis/development? A particular theoretical approach? The experiences of certain
groups?
12. You have selected this particular text (or topic) because it has "spoken" to you. Why? In
what way? What questions would you ask th is author if you could?
13. How does this text inform your own thinking about the topic you are writing on?
14. What, for you, were the three or more best things about the text? The three or more worst
things? Why?

A technique for determining the author's main idea: a tree structure

It is often quite tricky to articulate in a short, clear sentence what the main idea or claim or finding
is that the author is advancing, either in the overall text or in a paragraph. Since the whole purpose
of a text is to compel the reader to accept a particular position, the main idea (or thesis statement) is
really around which everything centres. Without such a centre, a piece of writing would be a
muddle and "pointless". lt would merely be a collection of incoherent sentences and paragraphs.
So, if you 're seriously interested in engaging critically with a text, you must first determine its main
point or thesis. This is crucial because everything written by the author can be assessed only in
terms of the contribution made to the main point. lt is often difficult to determine the thesis, not all
author state it clearly. But, every academic text deals with some topic and its author always has an
attitude toward that topic. To determine the topic go back your notes on the paragraphs, and try and
determine a common concern of the paragraphs . Also, consult the abstract, title or summary of the
text - very often the author will state the main claim there.

Topic Author's attitude

Main idea (thesis statement)

For example:

Brands supportive of consumer protection

Brands provide a guarantee of reliability and quality

Working women concerned about unequal treatment

Working women are treated unequally in the workplace

Blocks to critical engagement

One can be hindered in the critical engagement with an issue because of certain bad habits. Be
aware of these not only in the author 's writing, but also in your own responses to the author.

cultural conditioning: often signaled by words such as: "obviously", "of course'', "must",.
Ask, what are the "givens" or taken-for-granted assumptions the author makes?

reliance on opinion : this means to accept blindly on the basis of popular opinion. E.g. "lt is
said that....' ', "Everybody knows that....", "lt is a well-known fact that.....'' (Says who?)

hasty moral judgment: to take for granted that something is a good thing. Often signaled
by "ought'', "should" or "must".

us-them thinking or either-or thinking: this makes us believe that there are only two (usually
opposing) positions; one is good/true, the other bad/wrong. lt often sets up false polarities
and ignores other possibilities. (E.g. "Capitalism vs socialism", learner-centred vs teacher
centred'', "progressive vs conservative", "left" vs "right")

use of labels and appeal to "buzz"words: often encourages simplistic thinking. E.g.
"democratic" , "empowerment", "community". We need to look closely at the assumptions
that underlie these labels and the rationale that drives them. (I once taught a course in which
I had a long list of "banned words" on the wall - if students wanted to talk about these, they
had to use different words to try and express the same idea. They struggled at first, but
quickly realized how it forced them to think much more deeply about the issue.)

resistance to change: it can be threatening to let go of preconceived and cherished notions,

of set ways of doing things and thinking about them .

slanting: there is nothing wrong with using expressive and emotive language, but this in
itself cannot be a substitute for argument. Just because someone feels strongly - or shouts
loudly - about something doesn't make her beliefs true. Emotive language needs to be
supported by reasons.

persuasive definitions: this is a particular form of slanting which takes the following form:
something, x, needs to be criticized (e.g. abortion); choose something most people consider
bad (e.g. murder); define x in terms of that (e.g. abortion is murder of a foetus); therefore, x
is rejected. Critical analysis is often aimed at the level of how a particular concept is
interpreted, because from that particular interpretation other forms of thinking and doing are
developed.

In summary:
Remember, critically engaging with something demands effort, discipline and commitment. You
will need to re-write your draft a number of times, as you read and re-read the text. There are no
short cuts!
Thinking about Purposes and Audiences

Exercise 1:

Analysis of purpose: In pairs, read the following paragraphs and decide whether they writer is (1)
expressing him/herself , (2) informing a reader, (3) persuading a reader.

(a)
When we lived in Maine, the fall and winter holidays were my touchstones- the calendar moved
along in comforting sequence. 1 wrapped the snow and foods and celebrations around me like a soft
blanket. I burrowed in. Now that we live in New Mexico, l don 'I need the blanket. But I surely do
miss it.

(b)
In 1914 in what is now Addo Park in South Africa, a hunter by the name of Pretorious was asked to
exterminate a herd of 140 elephants. He killed all but 20, and those survivors became so cunning at
evading him that he was forced to abandon the hunt. The area became a preserve in 1930, and the
elephants have been protected even since. Nevertheless, elephants now four generations removed
from those Pretorious hunted remain shy and strangely nocturnal. Young elephants evidently learn
from the adults ' trumpeting alarm calls to avoid humans.

(c)
The search for some biological basis for math ability or disability is fraught with logical and
experimental difficulties. Since not all math underachievers are women, and not all women are
mathematics-avoidant, poor performance in math is unlikely to be due to some genetic or hormonal
difference between !he sexes. Moreover, 110 amount o/ research so far has unearthed a
"mathematical competency" in some tangible, measurable substance in the body. Since "masculinity
" cannot be injected into women to test whether or not it improves their mathematics, the theories
that attribute such ability to genes or hormones must depend for their proof of circumstantial
evidence. So long as about 7 percent of the PhD 's in mathematics are earned by women, we have to
conclude either that these women have genes, hormones, and brain organization different from other
women, or that certain positive experiences in their lives have largely undone the negative fact that
they are female, or both.

Persuasive and informative Analysis

What are the main differences between these two passages?

(a) What is the message in each passage?

(b) Who is the audience?
(c) What i s the purpose?

(l)

In 1914 i n what is now Addo Park in South Africa, a hunter by the name of Pretorius was
asked to exterminate a herd of 140 elephants. He killed all but 20, and those survivors became so
cunning at evading him that he was forced to abandon the hunt. The area became a preserve in
1930, and the elephants have been protected ever since. Nevertheless , elephants now four
generations removed from those Pretorius hunted remain shy and strangely nocturnal. Young
elephants evidently learn from the adults trumpeting alarm calls to avoid humans.
 Carol Grant Gould, "Out of the Mouths of Beasts

(2)

The search for some biological basis for math ability or disability is fraught with logical and
experimental difficulties. Since not all math underachievers are women, and not all women are
mathematics-avoidant, poor performance in math is unlikely to be due to some genetic or hormonal
difference between the sexes. Moreover, no amount of research so far has unearthed a
"mathematical competency" in some tangible, measurable substance in the body. Since
"masculinity" cannot be injected into women to test whether or not it improves their mathematics,
the theories that attribute such ability to genes or hormones must depend for their proof on
circumstantial evidence. So long as about 7 percent of the PhD's in mathematics are earned by
women, we have to conclude either that these women have genes, hormones, and brain organization
different from those of the rest of us, or that certain positive experiences in their lives have largely
undone the negative fact that they are female, or both.

Sheila Tobas, Overcoming Math Anxiety

Exercise 2

For each paragraph, decide if the dominant purpose is informative or persuasive and for each
paragraph answer the following questions:

l) Is its major focus the reader or the subject?

2) Is its primary purpose to convince rather than inform?
3) Does it offer information or reasons to support its point of view?
4) Does it evoke an intended reaction from the reader?

Paragraph l:

Over a period of several days we map and describe nine new ruins. The process is somewhat
mechanical, but we each take pleasure in the simple tasks. As the Anasazi had a complicated
culture, so have we. We are takers of notes, measurers of stones, examiners of fragments in the dust.
We search for order in chaos wherever we go. We worry over what is lost. In our best moments we
remember to ask ourselves what it is we are doing, whom we are benefiting by these acts. One of
the great dreams of ma n must be to find some place between the extremes of nature and civilization
where it is possible to live without regret.

Paragraph 2:

Barry Lopes, "Searching for Ancestors"

We know very little about pain, and what we don't know makes it hurt all the more. lndeed, no form
of illiteracy in the United States is so widespread or costly as ignorance about pain- what it is, what
causes it, and how to deal with it without panic. Almost everyone can rattle off the names of at least
a dozen drugs that can deaden pain from every conceivable cause- all the way from headaches to
hemorrhoids. There is far less knowledge about the fact that about ninety percent of pain is self
limiting, that it is not always an indication of poor health, and that, most frequently, it is the result
of tension, stress, idleness, boredom, frustration , suppressed rage, insufficient sleep, overeating,
poorly balanced diet, smoking, excessive drinking, inadequate exercise, stale air, or any of the other
abuses encountered by the human body in modern society.
Norman Cousins, "Anatomy of an Illness"

Paragraph 3

Efforts to involve the father in the birth process, to enhance his sense of paternity and
empowerment as he adjusts to his new role, should be increased. Having the father involved in labor
and delivery can significantly increase his sense of himself as a person who is important to his child
and to his mate. Several investigators have shown that increased participation of fathers in the care
of their babies, increased sensitivity to their baby's cues at one month, and significantly increased
support of their wives can result from the rather simple maneuver of sharing the newborn baby's
behavior with the new father at three days, using the Neonatal Behavioral Assessment Scale
(NBAS). In light of these apparent gains, we would do well to consider a period of paid paternity
leave, which might serve both symbolically and in reality as a means of stamping the father's role as
critical to his family . Ensur1ng the father's active participation is likely to enhance bis image of
himself as a nurturing person and to assist him toward a more mature adjustment bis life as a whole.

T. Berry Brazelton, "lssues for Working Parents"

Paragraph 4:

During the past generation, the amount of time devoted to historical studies in American public
schools has steadily decreased . About twenty-five years ago, most public high-school youths
studied one year of world history and one of American history, bu t today, most study only one year
of ours. In contrast, the state schools of many other Western nations require the subject to be studied
almost every year. In France, for example, all students, not just the college-bound, follow a
carefully sequenced program of history, civics and geography every year :from the seventh grade
through the twelfth grade.

Diane Ravitch, "Decline and Fall of Teaching History"

Paragraph 5:

After proposing marriage to a neighbor girl, my grandfather used this hammer to build a house for
his bride on a stretch of a river bottom in northen Mississippi . He lumber for the place, like the
hickory for the handle, was cut on his own land . By the day of the wedding he had not quite
finished the house, and so right after the ceremony he took his w1fe home and put her to work.
My grand mother had worn her Sunday dress for the wedding, with a fringe of lace tacked on
around the hem in honor of the occasion. She removed this lace and folded it away before going out
to help my grandfather nail siding on the house. "There she was in her good dress," he told me some
fifty-odd years after that wedding day, "holding up them long pieces of clapboard while l ham
mered , and together we got the place covered up before dark." As the family grew to four, six,
eight, and eventually thirteen , my grandfather used this hammer to enlarge his house room by
room, like a chambered nautilus expanding its shell.

Scott Russel Sander, "The inheritance of Tools"

 Vocabulary for Argumentative Writing

When we write an argumentative essay,our opinions carry more weight if we look at both sides of
the issue. n other words, we acknowledge our opponents' views but try to convince the reader that
our own argument is stronger .

Our essay would be extremely dull if we used the words supporters and opponents all the way
through. Similarly , it would be unimpressive if we only used the verb say to refer to people's
opinions. The tables below contain lists of useful alternatives. Study them and then do
the gap-fill task that follows.

Supporters Opponents
Proponents Opponents
Those in favour of Those opposed to
Defenders of Critics of
1 Advocates of Objectors
Pro-... (e.g. Pro-abortionists) Anti-... (e.g. Ant i-abortionists)

say that
argue claim
maintain
assert
contend
allege
insist
contend
suggest
point out

TASKS

1. Complete the text below using words/phrases from the tables above.(Solid lines relate to the first
table; dotted lines relate to the second.)

................. of TV ........................that it exposes us to too much violence and, as a result, we

become less sensitive to real-life violence. They also ............................ that schoolchildren neglect
homework and hove problems concentrating in class as a result of spending too much time glued to
the box. finally, ..........................that television has turned many of us into over-weight, unfit
couch potatoes" .

........................on the other hand, ....................... that it is a blessing for lonely, elderly or
housebound people. Furthermore, they ......................., it does not simply entertain; it can be very
educational as well. Another argument ........................... of TV is that it sometimes plays an
important role in fund raising for disaster relief and various charities. For example,the Live AId
rock concert in 1984 raised millions of pounds for victims of the Ethiopian famine.

2. Choose another controversial issue (e.g. hunting, car use, school uniforms, meat-eating, the use
of animals in medical research, single sex schools, euthanasia). Write some sentences that express
the views of people on both sides of the argument. Aim for variety in your choice of language.

Frankie Meehan
Using Sources: Avoiding Plagiarism and Quoting, Paraphrasing and Summarizing

Bibliography: DiYanni, R. and Pat C. Hoy ll.2003. The Scribner Handbook for Writers. New York:
Pearson-Longman.

l. INTRODUCTION

When writing essays outside your personal experience, consult such sources as books, articles,
videos, interviews, or even computer bulletin boards.

Guidelines for using sources in your writing:

l. Apply concepts and skills of thinking critically:

I.A. Analyze, i.e. consider the whole and then break it into its components.

1.B. Summarize i.e. extract and restate the material's main message o central point at the
literal level.

l.C. Interpret, i.e. read "between the lines" to infer about the unstated assumptions
implied by the material.

I.D. Synthesize, i.e. pull together what you have summarized , analyzed and interpreted to
connect it to what you already know.

II. Apply concepts and skills of reading critically

II.A. Read for literal meaning, i.e. read "on" the lines to see what is stated.

II.B. Read to make inferences, i.e. read "between the lines to see what is not stated but
implied.

II.C. Read to evaluate, i.e. read "beyond "the lines to assess the soundness of the writer' s
reasoning.

III. Apply concepts and skills of writing critically

III.A. Write a summary of the main idea or central point of what you are responding to.

III.B. Write a smooth transition between that summary and your response. Subtly signal the
beginning of your response

III.C. Respond to the source, basing your reaction on the influences of your own experience,
your prior knowledge, and you r opinions.

IV. Avoid plagiarism by always crediting the source for any ideas and words not your own.

V. Know how and when to include the techniques above for incorporating material from
sources into your own writing:

V.A. Quotation: the exact words of a source set off in quotation marks.
 V.B. Paraphrase: a detailed restatement of someone else's statement expressed in your own
words and your own sentence structure.

V.C. Summary: a condensed statement of the main points of someone else's passage
expressed in your words and sentence structure.

II. AVOIDING PLAGIARISM

To plagiarize is to present another's person words or ideas as if they were your own.

Plagiarism is like stealing, from the Latin word for kidnapper and literary thief.

Plagiarism is a serious offense that can be grounds for failing a course of expulsion from a college.

Guidelines for avoiding Plagiarism:

1. Develop ideas of your own, keeping them distinct from the ideas you find in sources.
2. If you quote verbatim from a source, use quotation marks. Be sure your summaries and
paraphrases are in your own words.
3. Integrate source material carefully.
4. Be sure that your voice predominates in your essay. You use sources to clarify and
substantiate your ideas and theses and to lend authority to your argument.
5. Be sure that you have adequate parenthetical citations and that each citation corresponds to
the list of sources at the end of the essay.

Knowing what not to document:

a) Common knowledge: information educated people know.
b) Your own thinking

Knowing what to document:

a) Material that you quote
b) Material that you paraphrase
e) Material that you summarize

Exercise l: Which of the following statements should be documented and which need not be
documented?

1) The Declaration of Independence was issued in 1776 in the US.

2) The sediments of the ocean floor are the accumulation of silt carried by rivers to the sea, volcanic
dust, coastal sands, and discarded shells of living creatures.
3) Levi Strauss, the inventor of blue jeans , came to the United States from Germany in 1848.
4) Coca-Cola is a popular soft drink all around the world.
5) According to Germaine Greer, the reason few women artists have achieved greatness is that they
have historically internalized their oppression, thereby draining the energy required for creative
work.
6) The United States is a substantially less secure society today than it was forty years ago.
7) The Olympic Games are held every four years.
8) As a society we should read poetry because it makes us live more fully and live more deeply.

IIL USING QUOTATIONS EFFECTIVELY

III.1. Guidelines for Using Quotations

 l. Use quotation s from authorities in your subject to support what you say, not for your
THESIS STATEMENT or main points

2. Select quotations that fit your message

3. Choose a quotation only if:

a. its language is particularly appropriate or distinctive

b. its idea is particularly hard to paraphrase accurately
c. the authority of the source is especially important to support your material
d. the source's words are open to more than one interpretation,
so your reader needs to see the original.

4. Do not use quotations in more than a quarter of your paper; rely mostly on paraphrase
and summary.

5. Quote accurately

6. Integrate quotations smoothly into your prose, paying special attention to the verbs that
help you to do so effectively.

III.2. Quoting accurately

1) Be very careful to quote a source exactly.

2) lf you have to add a word or two to a quotation so that it fits to your prose, put those
words in brackets. E.g.:

Original Source:

Surprisingly, this trend is almost reversed in Italy, where males interact closer and display
significantly more contact than do male/female dyads and female couples.
Robert Shuter, "A Field Study of Nonverbal Communication in Germany, ltaly and the United
States, p. 305

Quotation

Although German and American men stand farthest apart and touch each other the least, Shuter
reported "this trend [to be] almost reversed in ltaly."(305)

3) Quotations from authorities on your subject can bring credibility to your discussion

4) Integrating quotations smoothly into your prose. E.g.: Compare passages (a) and (b):
(a)
Sommer says personal space for people "like porcupines in Schopenhauer's fable, people like to be
close enough to obtain warmth and comradeship but far enough away to avoid pricking one
another."(26)

(b)
Sommer says concerning personal space that "like porcupines in Schopenhauer' s fable, people like
to be close enough to obtain warmth and comradeship but far enough away to avoid pricking one
another."(26)

Exercise 2:

Read the original material. Then evaluate the passages that show unacceptable uses of quotations.
Describe the problems, and then revise each passage. End the quotations with this MLA
parenthetical reference: (Siwolop 111)

Original material:

This is from "Helping Computer Chips to Keep their Cool" by Sana Siwolop in Business Week,
January 15, 1998.

Engineers could improve the efficiency of engines, chemical reactors, furnaces, and other
equipment if only they could supply them with electronic sensors. But computer chips can't take the
heat. Most microchips develop amnesia long before the temperature climbs to the boiling point of
water. But that may change. Researchers at North Carolina State University in Raleigh have
successfully made microelectronic transistors that operate at temperatures of up to 1,200 F. The key:
using silicon carbide, a material familiar to most people as the grit on sandpaper, instead of the
crystalline silicon usually used for computer chips.

Unacceptable uses of quotations:

A. Many problems are caused when sensitive equipment overheats. "Most microchips develop
amnesia before the temperature climbs to the boiling point of water. (Siwolop 111)

B. Many researchers believe that they would be able to "improve the efficiency of engines and other
equipment if only they could supply them with electronic sensors."(Siwolop 111)

C. Several new developments have taken place at North Carolina State University in Raleigh "have
successfully made microelectronic transistors that operate at temperatures of up to 1,200
F"(Siwolop 111)

D. In the past, there have been serious problems with sensors designed to detect heat. Until recently,
"computer chips can't take the heat" (Siwolop 111), but now that problem may be solved.

E. One of the problems in designing a heat sensor is that many "microchips develop amnesia before
the temperature climbs up to the boiling point of water'' (Siwolop 111).

IV. PARAPHRASING ACCURATELY

When you paraphrase, you precisely restate in your own words a passage written (or spoken) by
another person

The ideas of authorities can give substance and credibility to you r message and can offer support to
your material.

Guidelines for writing a paraphrase:

1) Say what the source says, but no more

2) Reproduce the source's emphases

3) Use your own words, phrasing, and sentence structure to restate the message. lf certain synonyms
are awkward, quote the material- but resort to quotation very sparingly.

4) .Read over your sentences to make sure that they do not distort the source's meaning.

5) Expect your material to be as long as, and possibly longer than, the original.

6) Use verbs that help integrate paraphrases into your prose

Compare the original source to an unacceptable and an acceptable paraphrase:

Source:
Morris, Desmond. 1997. Manwatching. New York: Abrams.

Original:
Unfortunately , different countries have different ideas about exactly how close is close. lt is easy
enough to test your own "space reaction ": when you are talking to someone in the street or in any
open space, reach out with your arm and see where the nearest point on bis body comes. lf you hail
from Western Europe, you will find that he is at roughly fingertip distance from you. In other
words, as you reach out, your fingertips will just about make contact with bis shoulder. lf you come
from Eastern Europe, you will find you are standing at "wrist distance." If you come from the
Mediterranean region , you will find that you are much closer to your companion, at little more than
"elbow distance."

Unacceptable paraphrase:

Regrettably, different nations think differently about exactly how close is close. Test yourself: when
you are talking to someone in the street or in any open space, stretch your arm out to measure how
close that person is to you. If you are from Western Europe, you will find that your fingertips will
just about make contact with the person' s shoulder. If you are from Eastern Europe, your wrist
will reach the person' s shoulder. lf you are from the Mediterranean region, you will find that you
are much closer to your companion, when your elbow will reach that person's shoulder. (Morris
131).

Acceptable paraphrase:

People from different nations think that "close" means different things. You can easily see what
your reaction is to how close to you people stand by reaching out the length of your arm to measure
how close someone is as the two of you talk. When people from Western Europe stand on the
street and talk together, the space between them is the distance it would take one person's fingertips
to reach to the other person's shoulder. People from Eastern Europe converse at a wrist-to shoulder
distance. People from the Mediterranean , however, prefer an elbow-to shoulder distance (Morris
131)

V. SUMMARIZING ACCURATELY

A summary reviews the main points of a passage and gets at the gist of what an author or speaker
says.

lt condenses the essentials of someone else's thoughts into a few statements.

Guidelines:

1) identify the main points and condense them without losing the essence of the material.

2) Use your own words to condense the message

3) Keep you r summary short

4) Use verbs effectively to integrate summaries into your prose Exercise 31-5 and 31-6
CITING SOURCES: MLA STYLE

This guide contains examples of MLA bibliographic formats for commonly used sources. For authoritative
information consult the printed MLA Stvle Manual or MLA Handbook.

You must attribute direct quotations and other people's ideas within the body of your paper. Failure to do
so might lead to charges of plagiarism.
If you are unsure of what to cite, a good rule of thumb is to cite it, or ask your instructor.

Keep in mind the following rules when formatting your bibliography:

The bibliography should be arranged alphabetically by author, or by title (if author is not present).
Second lines of the citation should be arranged by hanging indents of 5 spaces.
Use double spacing, unless your professor instructs otherwise.
Be sure to use the proper punctuation.

BOOKS
Basic Format, Single Author: Author. Title. City: Publisher, year.

Winchester, Simon. The Professor and the Madman. New York: Harper Collins, 1998.

Chapter of an edited book

Thompson, Cathy. "The Oreo Cookie: Black on the Outside, White on the Inside." Becoming
American. Becoming Ethnjc : College Students Explore their Roots. Ed. Thomas Dublin.
Philadelphia, P.A.: Temple University Press, 1996.

On-line book
Use the same basic format as given, but include the access date and URL as shown below.

Badke, William. Research Strategies: Finding Your Way Through the Information Fog. Lineoln, NE:
Writers Club Press, 2000. 24 January 2002 <http://www.aets.twu.callbr/textbook.htm>.

PRINT-SCHOLARY ARTlCLES
Basic Format: Author. "Title." Joumal Title vol.no (year): pages.

Koenig, Melissa A., and Martin J. Brennan. "AII Abroad the E-Train: Developing and Designing
Online Library Instruction Modules." Joumal of Library Administration 37 (2003): 425-435.

(If a joumal uses eontinuous pagination across the volume, include only the volume number. If it
starts at page 1 in each issue, inelude the issue number - ex. 36.3 for volume 36, issue 3.)

PRINT MAGAZINES ANO NEWSPAPERS

Barry, Dan et al. "Times Reporter that Resigned Leaves Long Trail of Deception." New York
Times 11 May 2003, late edition: A36.

Mifflin, Margaret. "Written on the Body: Women and the Art of Tattooing." Ms. Magazine July-
Aug. 2001: 68- 72.
ARTICLE FOUNO IN FULL-TEXT OATABASE
Basc Format: Author. 'Title." Publication Title. Year. Database. Name and place of library, date of
access <URL of database homepage>.

Andic, V.E. "The Contribution of American Slovaks to the National War Effort." American Slavic and
East European Review. 1945. JSTOR.Bingharnton University Library, Bingharnton, NY., 12 July
2006 <http://www.jstor.org>.

ONLlNE NEWSPAPER ARTICLE FOUNO IN FULL-TEXT OATABASE

Barry, Dan et al. "Times Reporter that Resigned Leaves Long Trail of Deception." 11 May 2003.
Binghamton University Library, Binghamton, NY., 28 August 2005. <http://proquest.umi.com>.

USING METALlNK TO LOCATE FULL-TEXT ARTICLES IN OATABASES

If you have found a full-text article through the metaLlNK cross-search tool, you will cite the article
according the source database of the article (for example Academic Search Premier or JSTOR).

If you can not locate a database URL, you can end the citaton at the date o, access.

ONLlNE NEWSPAPER ARTICLE FOUNO ON THE WEB

Barry, Dan et al. "Times Reporter that Resigned Leaves Long Trail of Deception." New York Times
11 May 2003. 28 August 2005 < www.nytimes.com/reflbusinesslmedia/BLAIR-ARCHIVE.html>.

U.S. GOVERNMENT OOCUMENT

United States. Indian Heath Service. Cooking for 9000 health. By Nonie Wolf. Washington,
D.C.: GPO, 1995.

Onlne Government Publicaton

United States. National Endowment for the Arts. Chan9in9 Faces of Tradition. Oct. 1996. December
2001 <http://arts.endow.gov/pub/ReseachartslFolk.html>.

ONLlNE SCHOLARL y PROJECT OR PERSONAL WEB PAGE

Basic Format: Individual Author. Title. Editor. Date of creation or update. Sponsoring institution or
organization. Date of access <URL>.

Elizabeth Bishop American Poet.Ed. Barbara Page. May 2001. Vassar College. 28 November 2001
<http://projects.vassar.edu/bishop>.

FILM OR VIDEO
Basic Format: Title.Original release date (if different from Year of Release). Director. Other (see
below). Distributor, Year of Release.

African Queen. 1952. Dir. John Huston. Peo Humphrey Bogart, Katharine Hepbum. Paramount
Home Video, 1991. (Note: Important information, such as actors or writers, can be included.)

For further help, see :

MLA Style Manual (Bartle Ref Desk PN147 G44 1998) or the MLA Handbook for Writers of Research
Papers (Bartle Ref Desk PE 1478 .M57 2003)
The Libraries' web guide, Citing Sources (http://librarv.lib.binghamton.edu/search/citing.html)
Citing Sources: APA Style

This guide is designed to help in creating a reference list most commonly used research
sources. You must attribute direct quotations and other people's ideas within the body of your
paper. On a practical note, if you don't indicate where you got your information or even an
idea, you can be charged with plagiarism - a serious offense.

If you are unsure of what to cite, a good rule of thumb is to cite it or ask your instructor.
Information found on the Internet or in an online database must be cited.

Keep in mind the following rules when formatting your reference list:
The bibliography should be arranged alphabetically by author, or by title (if author is not
present).
Second lines of the citation should be arranged by hanging indents of 5 spaces.
Be sure to use proper punctuation.

Print
Author, Initial. (year). Title. Place of publication: Publisher.
Shiva, V. (2002). Water wars: Privatization, pollution, and profit. Cambridge, MA: South End
Press.

Article or Chapter in an Edited Book

Tai Yong. T. (2001). Singapore: Civil-military fusiono In M. Alagappa (Ed.), Coercion and
governance (pp. 276-293). Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press.

Periodicals (joumals. magazines. and newspapersl

Print
Author, Initials. (year). Title of article. Title of Periodical, vol. #~ssue #), pages.

Baker, R. S. (2001). The paradoxes of desegregation: race, class, and education, 1935-1975.
American Joumal of Education, 109(3),320-344.

Electronic
Author, Initia\. (year). Title of article. Title of periodical, vol. ~ssue#), pages. Retrieved month
day, year, from source.

Baker, R. S. (2001). The paradoxes of desegregation: race, class, and education, 1935-1975.
American Journal of Education, 109(3),320-344. Retrieved July 8,2003, from Expanded
Academic ASAP.

-Note - when using MetaLlNK to locate full-text journal or newspapers in databases and journal
indexes, cite the article according to the source databases. In the example above Expanded
Academic is the source database.
Print newspaper
Egan, T. (2002, February 6). Meth building its Hell's kitchen in rural America. New York Times,
pp. A14.

Electronic Newspaper
Gorman, J. (2003, July 8). A wildlife corridor, green but imperiled. New York Times. Retrieved
July 9, 2003, from http://www.nytimes.com.

Govemment Report
Print
United States Office of Educational Research and Improvement. (1998). Ta/ent and diversity:
the emerging world of /imited Eng/ish proficient students in gffted education. Washington,
DC: U.S. Govemment Printing Office.
Eric Document
Sommerville, S. (2001). The po/itics of surviva/: Homeschoo/ers and the /aw. Purcellville, VA:
Home School Legal Defense Assfiation. (ERIC Document Reproduction Service No.
ED461177).

Electronic
United States Office of Educational Research and Improvement. (1998). The Educational
System in Japan: Case study findings. Retrieved July 9, 2003 from
http://www.ed.gov/pubslJapanCaseStudy/.

Hearing
Events surrounding the Branch Oavidian cult standoff in Waco, Texas: Hearing before
the Cornrnittee on the Judiciary, House of Representatives, 103d Cong., 1
(1993).

Motion Picture
Armstrong, F. (Producer/Director). (1997). McLibel: two worlds collide. [video] London: One-Off
Productions.

Electronic Document from an Organization

Snakes Creek Watershed Association. (2003, March 3). Snake Creek Watershed stream
assessment. Retrieved July 14, 2003, from http://www.snakescreek.org/GTS_streams.htm.

For further help please consult:

The Publication Manual ofthe American Psycholooical Association (REF BF 76.7 .P83). There
is a copy of this rnanuallocated at the reference desk in Bartle and Science Library.

The Guide to Style Manuals is an annotated list of standard style manuals held in the Bartle
Library.
The Libraries' web guide, Citing Ifernet and Other Electronic Resources
(http://librarv.lib.binghamton.edu/search/citing.html), links to electronic style guides.
The American Psychological Association site (http://www.apastyle.org/) has examples of
both print and electronic citations. The FAQ's are particularly useful.
 Citing Sources on the Internet
Source:
California Energy Comisin. Citing Sources on the Internet.A Short Guide to
Bibliographic Referencing o/ Web Source Materia/s. January 20th, 2004.
http://W\\w.(.lIerg\.ca.gov/html/citatiolls.html(October 16th, 2006)
1) How to Cite an E-mail You 've Received

Author. Author's e-mail address. "Re: Text from the E-Mail's Subject Line." Date e-rnail
was sent. Personal e-rnail. (Date read).

Example
Matthews, Scott. Smatthew@energy.state.ca.us "Re: How We Survived the Summer of
2001." May 15,2002. Personal e-rnail. (May 16,2002,2000).

Andrec, Mike. andrec@glyco.chem.yale.edu "Re: New England School ofBandura."

April 18,2000. Personal e-mail.(April 19,2000).

2) How to Cite a Website You've Visited

Author [if known]. "Title" [main title, in italics, if applicable]. Last date updated or
revised [ifknown]. URL (web address) ofpage. (Date page was accessed).

Example
California Energy Commission. "The Energy Story - Chapter II:Geothermal Energy."
April22, 2002. http://www.energyquest.ca.gov/story/chapterl1.html (May 31, 2002).
Ignatius. "To the Trallians." Early Church Documents (circa 96-50 C.E.). 1994.
http://listserv. americano edulcatholic/church/fathers/ignatius/ign-trl. txt (May 20, 2002).

3) How to Cite an PDF File You've Downloaded

A Portable Document Format (PDF) file is an electronic version of a report (or other
document) that is stored on line. When viewed with Adobe Acrobat Reader and/or
printed, the document is in the exact format of the original document. You would cite a
PDF document the same way as if it were a regular book or p riodical.

Author. Publication Date. Title of Document. City, State: Pu sher. ISBN or other
publication identification number (if appropriate). (Date PD ownloaded).

Example
Lutzenhiser, Loren. 2002. CONSULTANT REPORT - An Exploratory Analysis
of Residential Electricity Conservation Survey and Billing Data: Southern California
Edison, Summer 2001. Sacramento, Calif: California Energy Commission. Publication
number 400-02-006F. (PDF version of document downloaded May 31, 2002).

ELECTRONIC SOURCES
To refer to Internet sources, follow your chosen system as far as possible. That means you'll need to
give exact
information about author, title, and date of publication; also try to indicate a publishing body
(perhaps a professional
organization) to confirm the reliability of the source. You won't be able to give page numbers, but
should always supply
URLs so your reader can look at the source material directly. Include whatever extra information
will help your reader
find and identify the exact item. Since web pages change periodically, some systems (ineluding
APA) ask you to give the
date you read each one. To help identify the exact location of passages, you may have to improvise
further-giving section
numbers or names, for instance. For more detailed advice, see Harnack and Kleppinger, Online The
Internet Guide for
Students and Writers (TK 5105.875157 H365) and the MLA and APA websites listed above. The
boxes above include
examples of in-text citations and entries in reference lists for Internet sources. Here are further
examples showing some of the differences in format and content between MLA and APA style for
entries in reference Iists.
[e-mall; MLA system, item in Works Cited ltst]
Laine SiIIs. <Isills@mcmaster.ca> "Did it Again!" Personal e-rnail to Margaret Procter. 16
Nov. 2002.
[e-mal; APA system, reerenee in text only: N.B. In-4js system, don 't cite this kind of personal
communication in the reference list
because it cannot be consulted by other readers. Just give basic information in parentheses in
your own sentence.]
The most recent experiments also use this method (L. SiIIs, personal communication,
Novernber 16,2002).
IWeb pllge: MLA system, item in Works Clted)
Procter, Margaret. "Writing an Effective Admissions Letter." Writing al the
University of Toromo. 10 Feb. 2002
<http://www.utoronto.ca/writingladmiss.html>
IWeb page: APA system, Item in Reference list]
Procter, M. Writing an effective admissions letter. Writing at the University of Toronto.
Retrieved September 2, 2002, from
ht!p:/Iwww.utoronto.ca/writingladmiss.html
[artlcle in onUne journal: MLA system, Item In Works Cited)
HiII, Robin. "Wbat Sample Size 15 Enough in Internet Survey Research?" Interpersonal
Computing and Technology 6:3 (July
1998). <http://nau.edulipctlI998/n3/hill.html>
[article In onUne journal: APA system, Item in Reference llst]
Hill, R. (July 1998). What sarnple size is enough in Internet survey research7 Interpersonal
Computing and Technology, 6: 3.
Retrieved October 25,2002, from http://nau.eduJipctlI998/n3/hill.html.

By Margaret Procter, U of T Coordinator, Writing Support, July 2002.

This handout and other files giving advice on academic writing are available online at
www.utoronto.ca/writing.
STYLE: A CLOSER LOOK

To summarize our tentative definition of STYLE we might do well repeat the following points:

1. Style includes the writer's way of thinking about his subject and his characteristic way of
presenting it for a particular reader and purpose.

2. Style results from linguistic choices; the more frequently these choices are exercised and the
more wide-ranging they are, the higher the probability they will effectively express the writer 's
unique thought and feeling.

3. Style, therefore, is, or may be, a means of discovery, for both writer and reader.

4. Style sharpens expressive meaning as well as referential meaning. Style intensifies the tone of
writing, and, all else being equal, prose with a definite tone is likely to be more persuasive t11an
writing with little tone.

5, Style is not mere ornament; rather it conveys important subtleties of meaning and evaluation,
especially as they define the nature of the writer, bis basic attitudes, his presuppositions, his moral
stance, and his relation to bis subject and his reader.

6. These points only begin to suggest the vast implications of style. They are offered only as a
tentative working definition for students of composition, not as a confident solution to the enormous
problems raised by the study of style.

Turning from our _attempt to define style,we come to the question, What produces style? The
answer involves, of course, all possible methods and techniques of expression known to rhetoric.
To study the creation of style is to study the organization of the whole composition, paragraph
development, sentence structure, sentence rhythm, diction, punctuation, and whatever else
contributes to the process of communication. Style, however, results most frequently from those
rhetorical devices of diction and sentence structure that produce emphasis and emotion.
Diction is especially useful because of the tremendous range of choice available to the writer . An
author, of course, may prefer for some special purpose to keep his diction simple and fairly limited,
using a large proportion of monosyllables as Hemingway sometimes does. Or he may prefer a
diction of extraordinary variety as do Shakespeare, Milton, and Joyce. A writer is always free to
choose (within the limits of bis subject, purpose and reader) from monosyllables, polysyllables, rare
words, technical and scientific words, highly connotative words, slang, colloquialis1ns, vivid
imagery, abstractions, dialect words, figurative expressions, archaic words, obsolete words,
allusions, onomatopoeic depending upon his vocabulary of active verbs or his handling of
participles or the frequency and kind of his adjectives and adverbs.
Sentence structure is no less important than diction, for here a writer is also capable of choosing
among for:ms that can produce surprise, emotion, variation, and emphasis. And once again variety
is usually desirable. A writer uses short sentences, rhetorical questions, long sentences, parallelism,
balance, antithesis, interrupted movement , periodic sentences, inversion, various kinds of
repetition, and different kinds of subordinate constructions, each with a different effect.
In the study of style it is not sufficient, of course, merely to identify techniques of diction, sentence
structure, and so on.
Adequately to describe a writer 's style, or even some feature. of it, one must do a certain amount of
statistical analysis, noting, say, the frequency of balanced clauses in proportion to simple,
straightforward sentences. Sometimes a writer uses balance no oftener than the majority of writers.
Or sometimes a writer uses balance with such significant frequency that it becomes one identifying
characteristic of his work. Or again a given device may appear so often that it becomes an irritating
mannerism and so loses effectiveness. The point is that a description of style must proceed partly by
making qualitative observations and judgments and partly by quantitative analysis. The purpose of
such a description should be to demonstrate how a writer uniquely combines linguistic features so
as to communicate his individual thought and feeling and judgment.
Even this brief and simple introduction suggests that the close description and study of style can be
extremely useful to a student of composition . It reveals something of the virtually infinite number
of choices available to the writer. Learning what some of these are and what kinds of meaning and
emotion and effect they produce is an important step toward acquiring a style of one's own. Perhaps
equally important is that recognizing the subtleties of style is a source of great pleasure. Like poetry,
prose has its special rewards and delights.
. : Style

Suppose an essay that defended the proposition, "It is time to abolish capital punishment," opened
with these two sentences:

The most serious method of punishment in human society is the death penalty, the exacting of the
life of the offender for his offense. In making use of such means of punishment,society incurs a
grave responsibility. . .

If the writer of these sentences were told only that they are "bad" or "awkward" and need to be
rewritten, she would be utterly and justifiably confused. Of course the sentences are bad and
awkward, although they are perfectly grammatical. They do need to be rewritten. But to condemn
out of hand what this inexperienced writer has written will not help her learn to write.

TALKINC CONSTRUCTIVELY ABOUT STYLE

Two things will help her. One is to show her that some of what she has tried to do is exactly what
she should be trying to do, whether she is aware of it or not. The other is to hp her see how to do
better what she has tried to do. The first thing is to help writers discover what they want to do, and
the second is to help them do it.
A great deal in the passage deserves praise. The writer has tried to express an important idea.
However ordinary or well-worn that idea may seem to some people, it may represent a real
discovery to this writer. This may be the first time she has worked out her ideas on this subject and
realized why she feels as she does about it. She has made a decisive value judgment and she has
defined her terms. Furthermore, the main clause of the second sentence, "society incurs a grave
responsibility,"is clear, simple, and appropriate in tone to the idea expressed. These virtues, as well
as the rhythm and sound of the clause, suggest that the writer may have, latently, a good native
ear for the language.

Also, the intent of the opening phrase of the second sentence, "In making use of such means,"
indicates that the writer is aware of the need to articulate to link the original value judgment and the
definition of terms to the major value judgment of the paragraph, out of which will grow
(presumably) the proposition of the paper.
It should also be aid, finally, that at least two things the writer could have done to improve the
passage-make use of rhetorical repetition and break up the passage in to shorter sentences--she has
probably been taught never to do on grounds that they would make her writing "repetitious" and
"choppy"-that is, seem childish and simple minded: Dick and Jane writing.

HOW TO IMPROVE AWKWARD STYLE

Trying hard to avoid this onus, the writer has obscured the real potential in these sentences. She has
tried to make the first sentence say more than a single sentence should be asked to say, or more than
she is at the present time able to make a single sentence say:

The most serious method of punishment in human society is the death penalty, the exacting of the
life of the offender for his offense.

This sentence should be two sentences, not one:

The most serious method of punishment in human society is the death penalty. This is the exacting
of the life of the offender for his offense.

Once the sentence is divided, it becomes dear that the first of these two "new" sentences can be
improved by the simple process of cutting out some words:

The most serious method of punishment in human society is the death penalty
The most serious punishment in human society is death.

Also, although it is not necessary and would only provide other ways of saying the same thing, the
parts of the sentence could be rearranged.

Human society's most serious punishment is death.

Death is human society's most serious punishment.

There are many other ways the idea could be stated just as simply and effectively.
The second "new" sentence was created by giving the unattached phrase a subject and a verb:

This is the exacting of the life of the offender for his offense.

In this form, however, the most important parts of the idea have very little to do with the most
important parts of the sentence. The most important parts of most sentences are the subject and the
verb. To get the important parts of the idea and the important parts of the sentence to coincide, it
helps to ask two questions:

Who is doing something here? Society.

What does it do? lt exacts.
Society exacts the life of the offender for his offense.

Thus the first sentence of the original passage:

The most serious method of punishment in human society is the death penalty,the exacting of the life
of the offender for his offense.

has become by stages:

The most serious punishment in human society is death. Society exacts the life of the offender for
his offense.

Some writers might see that the idea expressed in the second sentence here could also be expressed
allusively, enriching the idea by reference to a commonly known phrase drawn from the Bible:

Society demands an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth .

The second sentence in the original passage shows in a different way that the writer knows what she
wants to do but does not know yet exactly how to do it:

In making use of such means of punishment, society incurs u grave responsibility.

The introductory phrase, which-properly- links the first assertion in the essay with the second,
confuses two idioms. We usually do not make use of means. We adopt means. We make use of
methods. But even with this change, the phrase is not very satisfactory:
In making use of such methods of punishment . . .

The phrase is euphemistic, and it takes too many words to say a fairly simple thing:

In taking that life . . .

Making this substitution, the opening of the essay finally becomes:

The most serious punishment in human society is death. Society exacts the life of the offender for
his offense. In taking that life, society incurs a grave responsibility.

Now the passage fulfills its original potential. It is clear and entirely readable. The sentences are
shorter-at nine, ten, and nine words respectively-t han the professional average, which is about
fifteen to twenty words. But they are varied in form, their structure is uncomplicated, they are well-
articulated, and they contain no words or phrases used merely to "dress up" the writing. The passage
repeats the key word "society" twice, but this in itself does not make the passage "repetitious." On
the contrary, it helps give the passage coherence. The result is simple but in no sense simple-
minded. It is the kind of unpretentious, economical writing from which real style can grow as the
mind of the writer grows.

Supplementary exercises

COLLABORATIVE GROUP WORK

The following exercises may be done individually or collaboratively. To do them collaboratively,

one person should record both the views expressed in the group and the consensus that the group
arrives at collaboratively. Review the recorder' s notes to be sure they express accurately what the
group has done and decided.

l. Rewrite the following sentences to make the expression less pretentious and more economical.

a. Prior to the acquisition of my college diploma, I formulated my goals on the assumption that 1
would have little difficulty obtaining a remunerative and satisfying position.
b. Upon receiving an aural impression of the detonation, the some what overweight officer of the
law emerged from the edifice at a rapid pace and apprehended the perpetrator of the disturbance.
a. Security has meant varying pursuits and differing goals for diverse periods of history .
d. What then would be the hope of the author of Pilgrim's Progress, his verbal accomplishments
notwithstanding, of finding a receptive reader in the present epoch: small the hope indeed if Bunyan
were merely one of the many polemicists of the day in whom the spirit of the artist had not fused
with the soul of the reformer.
e. The answer to your inquiry is the positive one, Virginia, that the existence of Santa Claus is
assured.

2. Rewrite the following sentences to make them as pretentious and uneconomical as you can.

a. Last Saturday I got a terrific bargain on a boat.

b. A farm is a great place to bring up children.
c. lf you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
d. We could solve the smog problem by keeping cars out of the city.
e. Just as the sun rose, he kissed her and told her he would never leave her.
STYLE

DO'S

Write varied sentences (in length and structure)

Write active rather than passive sentences
SHOW, don't tell
Use specific, concrete words (be precise, accurate)
Use lively language. Play with the connotations of words
Write out numbers under 100 in full
Follow punctuation rules
Check your style is appropriate for purpose, .reader and topic

DON'TS

Dangling modifiers
Deadwood (wordiness)
Mix stylistic levels (register)
Overuse words such as 'very' and 'really' (weak, vague)
Expletives such as there + be and it + be (same as .above)
Shifts in number, tense and person (unnecessary)
Begin sentences with 'then', 'so', 'and'
Overuse the transition 'what is more'
 CONCISENESS

What is conciseness?

Conciseness describes writing that is direct and to the point.

Wordy writing is not concise.

Concise writing can be achieved by

A. Eliminating wordy sentence structures
B. Dropping unneeded words
C. Omitting redundancies

A. Eliminating wordy sentence structures

Wordy sentence structures make writing seem abstract and uninteresting. Whenever
possible, revise to achieve conciseness.

How can we do that?

A l. Revising unnecessary expletive constructions
A.2. Revising unnecessary passive constructions
A.3. Combining sentences and reducing clauses and phrases
A.4. Using strong verbs and avoiding nouns formed from verbs
A.5. Using pronouns for conciseness

A. l . Revising unnecessary expletive constructions

NOT was on Friday that we missed class.

YES On Friday, we missed class.
YES We missed class on Friday.

NO There was a new teacher waiting for us.

YES A new teacher was waiting for us.

An expletive construction consists of it and there along with a form of the verb be placed before the
subject in a sentence. In some contexts, an expletive construction can create anticipation and
provide emphasis, but usually expletive constructions are merely wordy. Removing the expletive
and revising slightly eliminates wordy sentence structures

A.2. Revising unnecessary passive constructions

In the active voice, the subject of a sentence does the action named by the verb.

ACTIVE Professor Higgins teaches public speaking.

In the passive voice, the subject of a sentence receives the action named by the verb.

PASSIVE Public speaking is taught by Professor Higgins.

The active adds liveliness as well as conciseness, so it is usually preferable. The simplest way to
revise from the passive voice to the active voice is to make the doer of the action the subject of the
sentence. When you want to switch from passive to active, turn the NOUN or the PRONOUN in the
by phrase into the sentence subject.
NO Volunteer work was done by the students for extra credit in sociology.
YES The students did volunteer work for extra credit in sociology

NO The new spending bill was vetoed by the governor.

YES The governor vetoed the new spending bill.

Sometimes you can revise a sentence from passive voice to active voice by using a new verb. This
method works especially well when you want to keep the same subject.

PASSIVE Britain was defeated by the United States in the War of 1812.
ACTIVE Britain lost the War of 1812 to the United States.

Writers may sometimes have no choice but to use the passive voice, as when the doer of an action
is unknown or when naming the doer would disrupt the focus of the sentence. E.g.

The lock was broken sometime after four o'clock. (unknown subject)
In 1899, the year I was born, a peace conference was held at The Hague. (the doer is not
important, the conference is)

TIP: Be particularly alert for the passive voice that misleads readers because it hides information
about who acts.

A.3. Combining sentences and reducing clauses and phrases

To counteract wordiness, you can often combine sentences and reduce CLAUSES and PHRASES

A.3.1. Combining sentences

1) The Titanic was discovered seventy-three years after being sunk by an iceberg. The wreck was
located in the Atlantic by a team of French and American scientists.

2) Seventy-three years after being sunk by an iceberg, the Titanic was located in the Atlantic by a
team of French and American scientists.

3) The stem of the ship was missing and there was some external damage to the hull. Otherwise,
the Titanic seemed to be in excellent condition.

4) Aside from its missing stern and external damage to .its hull, the Titanic seemed to be in
excellent conditions.

Look carefully at sets of sentences in your writing. You may be able to fit the information in one
sentence into another sentence.

A.3.2 . Reducing Clauses

The Titanic, which was a huge ocean liner, sank in 1912.

The Titanic, a huge ocean liner, sank in 1912.

You can sometimes reduce an ADJECTIVE CLAUSE simply by dropping the opening RELATIVE
PRONOUN and VERB

The scientists held a memorial service for the passengers and crew members who had died.

The scientists held a memorial service for the dead passengers and crew members.

Sometimes you can reduce a clause to a single word.

When they were confronted with disaster, some passengers behaved heroically, while others
behaved selfishly.

Confronted with disaster, some passengers behaved heroically, others selfishly.

A.3.3. Reducing Phrases

Sometimes you can reduce phrases to shorter

More than fifteen hundred travelers on that voyage died in the shipwreck.
More than fifteen hundred passengers died in the shipwreck.

Objects found inside the ship included unbroken bottles of wine and expensive undamaged china
Found undamaged inside the ship were bottles of wine and expensive china.

A.4 . Using strong verbs and avoiding nouns formed from verbs

What differences can you find between (a}, (b) and (c)?

(a) The proposal before the city council has to do with locating the sewage treatment plant outside
city limits.

(b) The proposal before the city council suggests locating the sewage treatment plant outside city
limits.

(c) The proposal before the city council argues against locating the sewage treatment plant outside
city limits.

What about (d) and (e)?

(d) The board members were of the opinion that the revisions in the code were not changes they
could accept.

(e) The board members said that they could not accept the revisions in the code.

Your writing will have more impact when you choose VERBS that are strong because they directly
convey an action. BE and HAVE are not strong verbs, and they tend to create wordy structures.
When you revise weak verbs to strong ones, often you can reduce the number of words in your
sentences.
What do you think of these statements?

a) We oversaw the establishment of a student advisory committee.

We established a student advisory committee.

b) The building had the appearance of having been renovated.

The building appeared to be renovated.

When you look for weak verbs to revise, look also for nominals (nouns derived from verbs, usually
by added suffixes such as -ance, -ment. or -tion. Turning a nominal back into a verb reduces words
and increases impact.

A.5 . Using pronouns for conciseness

Let us compare these examples:

a) Queen Elizabeth II served as a driver and mechanic in World War JI. Elizabeth joined the
Auxiliary Territorial Service in 1944, while the future queen was still a princess. Although Princess
Elizabeth did not know how to drive, she quickly learned how to strip and repair many kinds of
engines.

b) Queen Elizabeth II served as a driver and mechanic in World War U. She joined the Auxiliary
Territorial Service in 1944, while she was still a princess. Although she did not know how to drive,
she quickly learned how to strip and repair many kinds of engines.

Exercise 1 :

Combine each sent of sentences to eliminate wordy constructions.

Example:
Wordy: A creative id says psychologist Robert Epstein, can be like a rabbit. The rabbit runs by fast.
We glimpse only the rabbit's ears or tail.
Concise: A creative idsays psychologist Robert Epstein, can be like a rabbit that runs by so fast we
glimpse only its ears or tails.

1. . There is evidence that suggests that there is only one difference between creative
people and the rest of us. It is creative people who are always poised to capture the new ideas we
might not catch right away.

2. Creative thinking has to do with seizing opportunities. Creative thinking has to do with staying
alert. Creative thinking has to do with seeking challenges and pushing boundaries.

3. The goal is that the idea be caught first and that the idea be evaluated later. A fleeting thought is
captured by the alert person by writing it down at once. The goal is not to worry whether the
thought will have eventual value.

4. There is an important part of creativity, and that is daydreaming, which is an activity allowing
thoughts to bubble up spontaneously. These creative thoughts surprise us with their freshness.

5. Creativity can be unlocked in us by our trying something different. It is possible to turn pictures
sideways or upside down to see them in new ways. We can mold clay while we think about a
writing problem that is difficult.

6. It is stressed by the psychologist Robert Epstein that there are many exciting
advances in everything. The advances are in fields from astrophysics to car design to dance. The
advances creatively combine ideas that are from widely different sources.

7. Epstein gave his students the assignment of a problem The problem called for the retrieval of a
ping-pong ball . It was located at the bottom of a vertical drainpipe that was sealed at the bottom.

8. Some other tools that the students had been given by Epstein were too short to reach the ball.
Other tools that the students had been given were too wide to fit into the pipe.

9. The students were stumped at first. The students tried unsuccessfully to capture the ball with the
tools. Then the students stepped back from the immediate situation . The students saw the big
picture and began thinking creatively.

1O. Water was poured down the drainpipe by the students. The ball achieved flotation and rose to
the top. The hall was retrieved by the students there.

B. Dropping unneeded words

PADDED: In fact, the television station which is situated in the local area has won a great many
awards as a result of its having been involved in the coverage of all kinds of
controversial] issues.

CONCISE The local television station has won man awards for its coverage of controversial]
issues.

PADDED: The bookstore entered the order for the books that the instructor has said will be
utilized in the course sequence.

CONCISE: The bookstore ordered the books for the course.

To achieve conciseness, eliminate unneeded words that clutter sentences. Also, revise imprecise
language so that six inexact words take the place of one precise.

When a writer tries to write very formally or tries to reach an assigned word limit, padding usually
results. Sentences loaded with deadwood contain empty words, phrases that increase the word
count lack meaning. If you find deadwood, clear it away.

Exercise 2:
Guide for eliminating empty word s and phrases
Revise the wordy example under the Revision column
Empty word or phrase Wordy Example Revision
As a matter of fact AS a matter of fact, statistics
show that many marriages end
in divorce.
Due to the fact that Mary Stuart did not say the
monarch's oath when she
became queen of Scotland due
to the fact that she was just six
days old.
Factor The project's final cost was an
essential factor to consider.
Manner The child touched the snake in
a reluctant manner.
Nature His comment was of an
offensive nature.
Type of Gordon took a relaxing type of
vacation.
Seems It seems that the union called a
strike over health benefits.
Tendency The team has a tendency to lose
home games.
Exists The crime rate that exists is
unacceptable.
For the purpose of Work crews were dispatched for
the purpose of fixing the
potholes.
In the case of In the case of the proposed
water tax, residents were very
angry.
In the event that In the event that your are late, I
will leave.
The point that I'm trying to The point that I'm trying to
make make is that news reporters
should not invade people's
privacy.

Exercise 3:
Bearing in mind the strategies above eliminate unnecessary words or phrases from the following
passage. Be especially alert for empty words that add nothing to meaning.

(1) Folk wisdom has tendency to be untrue. As a matter of fact, it seems as though a great many folk
beliefs that are popular are, in a very real sense, dead wrong. (2) For example, the American
Academy of Ophthalmology makes the statement that reading in the dark will not have the effect of
mining a person 's eyes. (3) In the case of spicy foods, specialists have proven that foods of this sort
are not necessarily bad for the stomach, even for people who have been treated as ulcer patients. (4)
What about our mothers warnings that exists about catching colds when we are in the process of
becoming chilled? (5) lt is certainly quite true that more people have a tendency to get sick in
winter than people do in summer. (6) It seems that lower temperatures are not the factor that
deserves the blame, however. (7) In view of the fact that cold weather often has a tendency lo drive
people indoors and to bring people together inside, this factor has the appearance of increasing our
odds of infecting one another. (8) Finally, there has been a longstanding tradition that states that the
full moon has the effect on people of making them crazy. (9) Investigation that were made by
researchers who were tireless and careful came to the ultimate conclusion that there is no such
relationship in existence.

C. Revising Redundancies

a) Bringing the project to final completion three weeks early, the new manager earned our respectful
regard when the project was completed.

b) Completing the project three weeks early, the new manager earned our respect.

e) The new manager earned our respect for completing the project three weeks early.

d) Astonished , the architect circled round the building in amazement.

e) Astonished, the architect circled the building.

f) The architect walked around the building in amazement.

Planned repetition can create a powerful rhythmic effect. The dull drone of unplanned repetition,
however, can bore a reader and prevent the delivery of your message. Unplanned repetition, called
redundancy, says the same thing more than once.

Certain redundant word pairs are very common. Avoid expressions like each and every, forever and
ever, and final and conclusive. Other common redundancies are perfectly clear, (few and many) in
number, consensus of opinion.

Redundancies deaden a sentence's impact.

NO: The council members proposed a discussion of the amendment, but that proposal for a
discussion was voted down after they had discussed it for a while.

YES: The council members' proposal to discuss the amendment was eventually voted down.

NO: The consensus of opinion among those of us who saw it is that the carton was huge in size.

YES: Most of us who saw the carton agree that it was huge.

Exercise 4 :
CASE STUDY: REVISING FOR CONCISENESS

A student wrote the following draft for a course called Business Management. The assignment was
to write a summary of a research study related to the course. This material summarizes the source
material thoroughly, but the draft's effectiveness is diminished by a lack of conciseness.
Read through the draft. Revise it and explain why the highlighted material is redundant.

Researchers in business management interviewed and talked to over two hundred people
who have experienced important major career defeats. The study was undertaken by the researchers
for the purpose of discovering why some smart people fail at their careers while there are others
who generally do not fail. The results show that in a very real sense many people lack the
recognition that most careers involve getting along well with other people. It is often claimed by
many employees who fail that office politics was the cause of the problems. In point of fact,
however, those employees often have no ability to listen to others sensitively and to give and take
criticism constructively. The researchers also found that some people fail to have success because
they have an absence of commitment to their work. Sometimes the underlying reason is a fear.
That fear is the fear of failure, which has the manifestation of being a lack of motivation When
people do not attempt to try to succeed, they do not expose themselves to the risk of failure.
Finally, it was discover ed by the researchers that the fact of the matter is that luck
sometimes has a role, as when a change in management means that the new people bring int heir
own team.
Wordiness
SUU Writing Center
(last updated 08/1812004)

When writing, you should be extremely careful with the words, phrases, and clauses that
you use. Even the smallest changes in wording or style can make a big difference in the
strength of your prose. This tip sheet shows some common mistakes that could weaken
your writing.

Wordiness
Using too many words is probably the most common mistake writers make as they begin
to develop their academic voices. To avoid this problem, do not use "filler phrases" or
"fluff" to try to stretch your papers to the desired length. Shorten or cut empty words and
phrases. If you are in the difficult situation of having to lengthen a paper, either add
another point to your thesis that you can fully develop or expound on the points that
you already have by adding detail and examples.

Refer to the chart below to see the differences between wordy and concise statements.
WORDY: As far as I'm concerned, CONCISE: Because of continuing
because of the fact that a situation of discrimination in medicine, women have not yet
discrimination continues to exist in the achieved equality.
field of medicine, women have not yet
achieved equality with men.
Some "flabby" phrases are: So me corrections might be:
At all times A/ways
At the present time Now / Currently
Al this point in time Present/y
For the purpose 01 For
In order lo To
Due to the fact that Because
By means of By
It is true that Actually
It is a fact that Truly
In regards to Concerning
There isl There are (Try not to use there is/there are. 1)

Henry David Thoreau claimed that there were only three rules to writing: "simplify,
simplify, simplify." He thought that even complex ideas could be presented in
understandable language. When revising, go through and eliminate words, phrases, and
sentences that do not further your argument or help you prove your points through
examples.

I Wordy example: There are many places in Utah that can be considered desert areas.
Better example: Deserts dominate much of the Utah landscape.
 Sentence Variety and Emphasis

Read the following sentence. Comment on whether the authors succeed in employing key
technique s of variety and emphasis

Henri Poincar, a famous mathematician who lived in the nineteenth century, devised an exercise in
imagination to help people understand the relativity of measures. Imagine that one night while you
were asleep everything in the universe became a thousand times larger than before. Remember this
would include electrons, planets, all living creatures, your own body, and all the rulers and other
measuring devices in the world . When you awoke, could you tell that anything had changed? Is
there any
experiment you could make to prove that some change had occurred? According to Poincar there is
no such experiment.

-Judith and Herbert Kohl- The View from the Oak

Your writing style has variety when you r sentence lengths and patterns vary.
Your writing style is characterized by emphasis when your sentences are construct:ed to
communicate the relative importance of their ideas.
The techniques of variety and emphasis can move your writing beyond being correct to
having style and grace.

A Varying Sentence Length

A. l. Revising st ring of too many short sentences

Let us compare the two versions of these passages:

(a)

There is a legend . This legend is about a seventeenth-century Algonquin Indian.

It says that he was inspired. He had an idea about popcorn . He transformed it into a gift . It was
the first gift to a hostess in American history. He was invited to the Pilgrims' harvest meal. He
brought along a bag of popcorn. This was a demonstration of good will. The occasion is honored to
this day with Thank giving d inner.

(b)

According to legend, in the seventeenth century an inspired Algonquin transformed popcorn into the
first hostess gift i n history. Invited to the Pilgrims' harvest meal, the Indian brought along a bag of
popcorn as a demonstration of good will. The occasion is honored today with Thanksgiving dinner.

Patricia Linden, "Popcorn"

Strings of too many short sentences, as in (a), rarely establish relationships and levels of importance
among ideas. Such strings suggest that the writer has not thought the material and decided what to
emphasize. The style tends to read like that of young children.

In (b) the sentence structures permit key ideas to be featured. The two versions use the same short
last sentence, but because the revised version leads up to it with longer sentences, the message in
the last sentence is emphasized.
A.2 . Revising a string of too many compound sentences

A compound sentence consists of two or more INDEPENDENT CLAUSES that are grammatically
equivalent and that communicate balance or sequence in the ideas that they contain. Too often,
compound sentences are short sentences only strung together with and or but, without consideration
of the relationships among ideas.

Let us compare these two versions of the same passage:

(a)
Science fiction writers are often thinkers, and they are often dreamers so they let their imaginations
wander. Jules Verne was such a writer, and he predicted space ships and atomic submarines, but
most people did not believe airplanes were possible.

(b)
Science fiction writers are often thinkers and dreamers who let their imaginations wander. Jules
Verne was one such writer. He predicted space ships and atomic submarines before most people
believe airplanes were possible.

In (b) a particular obscure connection is clarified. For conciseness, one independent clause is
reduced to a word, dreamers; another is reduced to a relative clause, who let their imagination
wander; another starts a new sentence, He predicted...; and another is reduced to a subordinate
clause, before most people...possible.

A.3 . Revising for a suitable mix of sentence lengths

What can you notice about the length of sentences in (a) and (b)?

(a)

Today is one of those excellent January partly cloudies in which light chooses an unexpected
landscape to trick out in gilt, and then shadow sweeps it away. You know you are alive. You take
huge steps, trying to feel that the planet's roundness is between your feet. Kazantzakis says that
when he was young he had a canary and a globe. When he freed the canary, it would perch on the
globe and sing. All his life, wandering the earth, he felt as though he had a canary on top of his
mind, singing.

(b)
Annie Dillard, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek

Mistakes are not believed to be part of the normal behavior of a good machine. If things go wrong,
it must be a personal, human error, the result of fingering, tampering, a button getting stuck,
someone hitting the wrong key. The computer, at its normal best, is infallible. I wonder whether this
can be true.

These examples show that to emphasize one idea among many others, you can express it in a
sentence noticeably different in length or structure from the sentences surrounding it. For instance,
passage (a) carries its emphasis in one short sentence among longer ones. In (b) a long sentence
among shorter ones is equally effective.

Exercise 1: Revise these sets of sentences to vary the sentence lengths effectively

Secondhand jeans have become international status symbols. A new generation of teenagers around
the world embraces U.S pop culture. The entrepreneurs are ready . West of the Mississippi River a
thriving underground industry has emerged. This industry buys, washes, and repairs vintage Levi's.
These jeans are resold in many countries. Japan provides the largest market for them.

United States rock-and-roll clothes from the 1960s are also popular throughout the world and so are
used Air Jordan sneakers from the 1980s, but the big winner is still blue jeans. The most popular
brand is the Levi's 501, and Levi 's 501 have been made by Levi Strauss & Company since 1873,
and the Levi 's 501 button-fly style is no longer made and it is the biggest winner of them all. Most
used button-fly Levis are found in the western United States, and the reason for this is that people
who Jived in the eastern states with long, cold winters have always preferred the zipper fly, it
doesn't let in chilly air.

Even though the business is highly profitable, the cultural history of old clothes hooks most dealers,
some of whom can tell fascinating tales of their collecting adventures. One dealer spent a week
buying clothes of the Great Depression from a woman in Oklahoma whose mother had saved the
family wardrobe, which clearly showed the economic hardships they had endured since all the jeans
were covered with patches, more than a hundred on one pair alone.

B. Using an occasional question, mild command, or exclamation

What can you notice about the sentence types in the following paragraph?

Imagine what people ate during the winter as little as seventy-five years ago. They ate food that was
local, long-lasting, and dull, like acorn squash, turnips, and cabbage. Walk into an American
supermarket in February and the world lies before you : grapes, melons, artichokes, fennel, lettuce,
peppers, pistachios, dates, even strawberries, to say nothing of ice cream. Have you ever considered
what a triumph of civilization it is to be able to buy a pound of chicken livers? If you lived on a
farm and had to kill a chicken when you wanted to eat one, you wouldn't ever accumulate a pound
of chicken livers.
Phyllis Rose, "Shopping and Other Spiritual Adventures in America Today"

C. Emphasis

What are some of the strategies to convey emphasis?

C.1. Choosing the subject of a sentence to highlight meaning.

C.2. Adding modifiers to basic sentences.
C.3. Inverting standard word order.
C.4. Repeating important words or ideas.

C.1. Choosing the subject of a sentence according to your intended emphasis

Consider the following sentences, how do they differ? Are they grammatically correct?

(1) Our study showed that 25 percent of college students' time is spent eating or sleeping.
(2) College students eat or sleep 25 percent of the time, according to our study.
(3) Eating or sleeping occupies 25 percent of college students' time, according to our study.
(4) Twenty-five percent of college students' time is spent eating or sleeping, accordi ng to our study.

Each sentence above is correct and contains the same information. However, consider how the
changes of the subject and its verb influence meaning and impact.

In (l) the focus is on the study.

In (2) the focus is on the students.
In (3) the focus is on eating and sleeping.
In (4) the focus is on the percentage of time.

The subject of the sentence establishes the focus for that sentence. The subject you choose should
correspond to the emphasis that you want to communicate to your reader.

C.2. Adding modifier s to basic sentences for variety and emphasis

Adding modifiers to basic sentences can provide you with a rich variety of sentence patterns. We
can either expand them

C.2.1. By adding modifiers .

C.2.2. By positioning modifiers to create variety and emphasis.

C.2.1. Expanding basic sentences with modifiers

Sentences that consist only of a subject and verb usually seem very thin. You might use a very short
sentence for its dramatic effect in emphasizing an idea. When you want to avoid a very short
sentence, however, you can expand the basic sentence as shown in the chart below.

Chart 1: Ways to expand a basic sentence

Basic Sentence The river rose

Adjective The swollen river rose
Adverb The river rose dangerously
Participial Clause Swollen by the melting snow, the river rose,
flooding the farmland
Absolute phrase Trees swirling away in the current, the river
rose
Adverb clause Because the snows had been heavy that
winter, the river rose.
Adjective clause The river, which runs thorough vital
farmland, rose.

Exercise 2: Expand one of these sentences by adding:

(a) an adjective
(b) an adverb
(e) a prepositional phrase
(d) a participial phrase
(e) an absolute phrase
(f) an adverb clause
(g) an adjective clause

1) We went to the fair.

2) The ride was full.
3) I won a basketball.
4) Rain poured from the sky.
5) Both of us got our clothes wet.

C.2.2. Positioning modifiers to create variety and emphasis

Research on learning suggests that readers are more likely to retain the message that is at the
very beginning or the very end of a sentence.
Try to place a modifier according to the emphasis that you want to achieve.
Be sure to place a modifier precisely within a sentence so that you avoid the error of
misplaced modifier. Cf (a) vs. (b).

(a) The football. player being recruited fervently believed each successive
offer would be better.

(b) The football player being recruited believed fervently that each successive
offer would be better.

A sentence that starts with a SUBJECT and VERB and then provides additional information with
modifiers that appear after the subject and verb is called a CUMULATIVE SENTENCE. It is called
CUMULATIVE because information accumulates.
Cumulative sentences are easy to read because they reflect how human s receive and pass on
information, often do not provide impact, however.

In contrast, a PERIOD SENTENCE, also called a climatic sentence , is highly emphatic. It builds
up to the period, reserving the main idea for the end of the sentence. It draws the reader in as it
builds to its climax. Periodic sentences can be very effective, but if they are overused they lose their
punch.
E.g. :

CUMULATIVE : A car hit a shoulder and turned over at midnight last night on the road from
Las Vegas to Death Valley Junction .

PERIODIC: At midnight last night, on the road from Las Vegas to Death Valley Junction.

Another way to vary sentence structures is to start sentences with INTRODUCTORY WORDS,
PHRASES, or CLAUSES.

Introductory Word : Fortunately, taught myself to read before I had to face boring reading drills in
school.
Andrew Furrnan

Phrase: Along with cereal boxes and ketchup labels, comic books were the primers that
taught me how to read.
Clause: Long before l wrote stories, I listened for stories.

Modifiers may appear in several different posit ions within a sentence. Positioning modifiers
offers you a chance to enhance your writing style with variety and emphasis.
Here are sentences with the same modifiers in various positions.

Angrily the physician slammed down the char, sternly speaking to the patient.
The physician slammed down the chart angrily, speaking sternly to
the patient.
The physician angrily slammed down the chart, speaking to the patient sternly.

Exercise 3: Combine each set of sentences by changing one sentence to a clause, phrase. or word
that will modify the other sentence. E.g.

(a) The ancestor of our pencil was the penicillum . The penicillum was a brush made of animal hairs
that the Roman used for writing and drawing.

(b) The ancestor of our pencil was the penicillum, a brush made of animal hairs that the Romans
used for writing and drawing.

1) These early writing implements were made of boar bristles, the hair of camels, badgers, and
squirrels, and the down feathers of swans. This is according to the 1771 edition of the
Encyclopedia Britannica.

2) Graphite, a form of the element carbon, was to become a component of pencil lead . lt would be
the main component.

3) Cabinetmakers were producing the first version of the modern pencil by encasing graphite in
wood. This happened in the late 1600s.

4) They followed the sandwich-making principle. They sliced a strip of wood, cut a groove down
the middle, glued the lead into the groove, then glued the two halves together.

5) At one time the ingredients of a fine pencil came from the geographically diverse areas of Siberia
and Florida. Siberia is where the purest graphite was mined . Florida is where the best red cedar
was grown .

6) When an acute shortage of southern red cedar developed in the United States during the early
l900s, pencil manufacturers bought old cedar fence posts. They were desperate.

7) The pencil makers had to substitute another kind of cedar. They dyed and perfumed it to match
people 's expectations of how a pencil should look and smell.

8) Pencils have had some unlikely promoters, such as the naturalist and writer Henry David
Thoreau. He helped bis father produce the highest-quality pencils in America during the 1840s.

9) The inventor Thomas Edison engaged a pencil factory to produce specially made stubby pencils
just for him. He preferred short pencils.

J O) The Scottish poet Robert Bums once lacked a pencil. He used his diamond ring to scratch
verses on a windowpane.

C.3. Inverting Standard Word Order

Standard word order in the English sentence places the SUBJECT before the VERB.
This pattern is common. It is set in people's minds, so any variation creates emphasis.
Inverted word order places the verb before the subject.

Used too often, inverted word order can be distracting; but used sparingly, it can be very effective.
E.g.:

STANDARD: The mayor walked in . The governor walked out.

INVERTED: In walked the mayor. Out walked the governor.

STANDARD Responsibilities begin in dreams.

INVERTED In dreams begin responsibilities.

C.4. Repeating important words or ideas to achieve emphasis

You can repeat some words to help emphasize meaning , but choose the words carefully.
Repeat only those words that contain a main idea or that use rhythm to focus attention . E.g.

Coal is black and it warms your house and cooks your food. The night is black, which has a moon
and a million stars, and is beautiful. Sleep is black which gives you rest, so you wake up feeling
good. I am black. I feel very good this evening.

Langston Hughes, "That Word Black"

Hughes repeats the word black, each time linking it to something related to joy and beauty . The
rhythm that results from the deliberate repetition of black and good emphasizes Hughes's message
and helps the reader remember it.

Use deliberate repetition sparingly, with central words, and only when your meaning justifies such a
technique. Consider these two passages. What differences can you find?

An insurance agent can be an excellent advisor when you want to buy a car. An insurance
agent has records on most cars. An insurance agent knows which models tend to have most
accidents. An insurance agent can tell you which models are the most expensive to repair if they
are in a collision. An insurance agent can tell you which models are most likely to be stolen.

lf you are thinking of buying a new car, an insurance agent can be an excellent advisor. A n
insurance broker has complete records on most automobiles. For example, he or she knows which
models are accident prone. Did you know that some car designs suffer more damage than others in a
collision? If you want to know which automobiles crumple more than others and which are least
expensive to repair, ask an insurance agent. Similarly, some models are more likely to be stolen so
find out from the person who specializes in dealing with claims.

Exercise 5: Revise this paragraph to achieve emphasis through varied sentence length and
deliberate repetition. You can reduce or increase the number of sentences, and you can drop words
to reduce unneeded repetition . Try to include at least one revision to a question or exclamation and
one revision to an inverted word order.
The chimney is one of civilization 's great technological innovations. The chimney represents a
major step up from a hole in the roof or a slit in the wall. The heating of houses was not an urgent
problem in the warm climates of ancient Egypt and Mesopotamia. Scholars believed this until a
palace was uncovered during a recent excavation of the great lost city of Mari on the upper
Euphrates River in ancient Persia. The palace, which was 4,000 years old, was peppered with
chimneys. Two thousand years later the Romans came along. The Romans were engineering
geniuses. The Romans developed elaborate chimneys as part of their hot-air heating systems.
The Roman Empire declined in the fourth century A.D., and after then no one from the former
colonies knew how to make chimneys. For four centuries Western Europe had no chimneys. So the
simple question has always been how chimneys finally got to Western Europe. Nobody is quite
sure, but here is what a current theory holds. Around A.D 800, chimneys were brought by Syrian
and Egyptian traders. They were from the East.
 Using Appropriate Words

l. Understanding Denotation and Connotation

To communicate effectively as a writer, you need to understand

1) Connotative or associative meanings of words

2) Denotative or dictionary meanings

+ Denotation is a word's literal meaning. They tend to be neutral and objective.

+ Connotation is a word's associations along with its literal meaning. Connotations are subjective
and personal, frequently involving feelings and suggesting concrete images.

Sample Word Denotation Connotation

Additive An added substance
Cheap Inexpensive
Nuclear reactor meltdown Melting of fuels rods in a
nuclear reactor, releasing
dangerous radiation
Something unnatural, especially
in food; perhaps harmful to
health
Of products, low quality; of
people, stingy
Specter if imminent death or
eventual cancer: poisoning of
food chain

Exercise:
Separate the words in each set into one of three groups:

1) Neutral if you think the word has no connotations

2) Positive if you think it has good connotations
3) Negative if you think it has bad connotations

Example: sensitive, touch, tender, thick-skinned, impressionable

Neutral: impressionable
Positive: sensitive, tender
Negative: touchy, thin-skinned

1. Carefree, exuberant, light-hearted, frivolous, rash, high-spirited , riotous, animated, reckless,

joyful

2. thrifty, economical, frugal, stingy, tight-fisted, prudent, foresighted, penny-pinching, money-

conscious .

3. lawyer, attorney, shyster, learned counsel, ambulance chaser, advocate, legal practitioner , public
defender, prosecutor

4. smell, odor, fragrance, stink, aroma, scent, stench, whiff, perfume, smoke, incense

5. flexible, yielding, wishy-wash, adaptable, tolerant, indulgent, undemanding , weak, submissive,

imitative.
II. Using Formal and Informal Language

II.A. Formal Language represents the standard or level of discourse suitable for academic
and business writing .

The tone of formal language is usually serious without being pretentious. It is not especially
intimate or personal.

II.B. Informal language is more conversational; it establishes a closer relationship between

writer and audience.

In using informal language, you may address the reader personally as you. And you can refer
to yourself as I, something you usually avoid in more formal writing .

Informal language may include slang, colloquialisms, and regionalisms.

II.C. The formality or informality of language is relative, a matter of degree. Much writing
is neither exclusively formal nor completely informal. You should avoid extreme
informality in your academic and professional writing, striving for a tone appropriate to your
subject and audience.

Exercise on formal/informal language

After analyzing the following sentences that follow. decide if they are in formal. medium or formal
language. Which words are particularly effective in establishing the level of usage in the sentence?

1. Weather forecasting is a pretty good field to be in.

2. My dad watches the TV weather news every moming.

3. It takes a lot of work to put a forecast together.

4. The Weather Bureau collects data from reporting stations that, after analysis, are reported to the
public as forecasts, weather maps, and storm warnings.

5. The Bureau conducts research on a variety of topics from solar radiation and the ozone layer to
snowfall patterns.

6. My father just wants to know if it's going to rain.

7. I can't get into all that stuff either.

8. You gotta admit that the Bureau has done plenty of good things.

9. In 1942, Dr. F. W. Reichelderfer was the recipient of a prestigious award for bis pioneering work
in advancing the practice of meteorology as applied to aeronautics.

Exercise on formal/informal language

Go through the following passage choosing the more teamed terms in each case then the more
commonplace . Experiment with a mix of both groups. How do your choices change the writer's
voice?
A rare [problem/disorder] called [excessive overall hairiness/congenital generalized hypertrichosis]
appears to be [linked/attributable] to a [throwback gene/avatistic mutation]. People
[with/experiencing] this condition are [really hairy/remarkably hirsute], with [thick fur/impenetrable
hisipity] everywhere except the palms of their hands and [bottoms/soles] of their feet. These [poor
people/unfortunate individuals] may be [behind/responsible for] widespread legends concerning
werewolves.

Exercise: Decide whether the highlighted word or phrase in each of the following examples is
appropriate for use in an academic essay.

l . Bleeding-heart liberals have caused Canada's debt problems.

1. This phrase is appropriate
2. This phrase is inappropriate

2. The "sacred heart" is a common depiction of Jesus.

1. This phrase is appropriate
2. This phrase is inappropriate

3. The Internet has become very successful over the past two years.
l . This phrase is appropriate
2. This phrase is inappropriate

4. In 1812, General Brock was the hero of the day.

l . This phrase is appropriate
2. This phrase is inappropriate

5. The government will slash spending by three billion dollars.

1. This phrase is appropriate
2. This phrase is inappropriate

Exercises on Sexism in Language :

Exercise 1: Revise the following sentences by changing sexist language to nonsexist language

l. Man's sense of space and distance is variable.

2. Everyone establishes his own personal space" by what he can do, not what he can see, in a
given area.

3. A mother is usually seen standing very close to her children.

4. A lady politician, too, usually stands close to talk with one or two of her constituents but many
feet away from large groups of people to whose she is talking.

5. The size of a person 's 'bubble' of personal space varies with bis culture or ethnicity.

6. A German will go to great lengths to preserve his "private sphere" at home and at work.

7. An Englishman, however, is used to a common work space at the office.

8. For that reason, he is willing to exist close to his fellow workers.

9. Some U.S. businessmen use the ladies who work in the office to help protect their personal
bubbles.

1O. They have the office girls announce all visitors and screen all phone calls.

Exercise 2:

The following paragraph contains many examples of gender exclusive language. Read the
paragraph carefully and rewrite it, changing the gender exclusive language to gender inclusive (or
gender neutral) language.

Gender Exclusive Language - Sample Paragraph:

If an insurance man contacts a family after the unexpected death of the husband , one of the first
questions he may hear is, "Where is his insurance policy?" The insurance man knows that when a
father dies, the meaning of life insurance suddenly becomes crystal clear. No one, at that time, asks
what a man's return is on his investment. The bottom line is that life insurance provides cash when a
man and his family really need it. I tell the husband that the amount his loved ones receive depends
on him. I also tell him that if he gives proper attention to this matter now, few financial problems
will ensue after his death.

Gender Inclusive Language - Revised Paragraph:

lf an insurance ............... contacts a family after the unexpected death of a .................., one of the
first questions ...... . . . ........... may hear is, "Where is ........... . . . . ...... life insurance policy ?" The .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...... knows that when a .................... dies, the meaning of life insurance becomes
crystal clear.

No one, at that time, asks what a ............ . . . . . . .. return is on ........... investment. The bottom line
is that life insurance provides cash when ... .. . .................. and their families really need it. 1Tell the
........................... .. that the amount bis or her loved ones receive depends on him or her. I also
tell ...... .. . . ...................... that if he or she gives proper attention to this matter now, few financial
problems will ensue after ............................. death.

Choose the most appropriate word in each case How would the wrong choice change the writer's
voice?

1) Generating convincing computer images of fire has proven difficult compared to constructing
fractal images of trees and landscapes, which experts regard as [elementary/no brainers].

2) Deer living near airplane runways are systematically [eliminated/offed] by airport personnel.

3) [Vestiges/traces] of the all-girl band fad (lasted/tarried] until the mid fifties.

4) "Carlos," [expostulated/said] Darla, "You're [treading/stepping] on my bunion."

5) Water, water, everywhere, nor any drop to [imbibe/drink).

Decide whether the highlighted word or phrase in each of the following examples is appropriate for
use in an academic essay.

1. Which of the following items are you not likely to find in a dictionary definition?
1. hyphenation
2. usage
3. euphemisms

2. Which of the following uses slang?

1. That movie was interesting
2. The movie was way cool
3. That motion picture presentation affected me profoundly

3. Which section of a dictionary entry would most likely help you to understand the origin of a
word?
1. Synonyms
2. Part of speech
3. Etymology

4. Which section of a dictionary supplies words similar to the listed word?

1. Synonyms
2. Etymology
3. Part of speech

5. What is wrong with the following sentence? It seems to me that the Lone Ranger is inextricably
involved
1. Sexist languages
2. Pretentious language
3. Slanted language

6. What is wrong with the following sentence? Her grandchild is as pretty as a picture
1. Clich
2. Jargon
3. Sexism

7. What's wrong with the following sentence? My new computer easily does 400 MIPS and surfs
at 56K
1. Understatement
2. Jargon
3. Obsolete language

8. What's wrong with the following sentence? You should keep your nose to the grindstone and
your shoulder to the wheel as you walk the road of life
1. Dialect
2. Euphemism
3. Mixed metaphor

9. What's wrong with the following sentence? Yes, for several weeks we did say that our company
is solvent. That statement is now inoperative.
1. Doublespeak
2. Personification
3. Colloquialism
10. What's wrong with the following sentence? I left my bottle of pop in the lorry
1.Pretentious language
2. Obsolete language
3. Dialect

11. What figure of speech is used in the following sentence? Her word is as good as gold
1. Personification
2. Simile
3. Sexist language

12. What figure of speech is used in the following sentence? These clams are so good that I could
eat a million of them.
1. Hyperbole
2. Metaphor
3. Understatement

13. What figure of speech is used in the following sentence? The engine died
1. Euphemism
2. Personification
3. Hyperbole

14. What's wrong with the following sentence? This contemptible bill was cooked up in the middle
of the night by the criminal element on the other party
1. Understatement
2. Euphemism
3. Slanted language

15. What's wrong with the following sentence? If I can be of any further service to you in this
regard, please do not hesitate to contact me
1. Bureaucratic language
2. Irony
3. Colloquialism
Sexism in Language

Terminology :
Sex: either of the two biological categories, i.e. female and male.
Gender: a social or grammatical category, such as feminine or masculine.
Sexism : stereotyping, prejudice or discrimination on the basis of sex.

Sexism can refer to three subtly different beliefs or attitudes:

The belief that one sex is superior to the other.

The belief that men and women are very different and that this should be strongly reflected
in society, language, the right to have sex, and the law.
It can also refer to simple hatred of men (misandry) or women
(misogyny).

+ Language plays a part in sexism. An example is non-sexist language- the avoidance of gender-
specific job titles, non-parallel usage, and other usage that is felt by some to be sexist. Opponents of
such ideas often dismiss them as "political correctness gone mad."

I.A. Gender Neutral Pronouns :

+As English has no gender-neutral pronoun in the singular (its can only be used of objects, not of
people) writers are faced with a knotty problem when they want to speak of one person, but either
don't want to identify that person by sex or dont know what it is. This is a matter of increasing
importance as writers and their readers are becoming more sensitive to the sexist implications of
such language. Various solutions are possible:

1) Use the male pronoun as the gender-neutral pronoun:

E.g.: Your child should always be comforted when ... ... ... ... cries.

This is the traditional solution and the one still advocated in many style books. However, it is
increasingly being seen as unacceptable.

2) Use both pronouns together, such as he or she or he/she

E.g.: Ask the first shop assistant you find whether he or she can tell you the price.

Though this may be unexceptionable enough from the point of view of gender, it's a messy and
ungainly solution stylistically, and one to be avoided.

3) Use another pronoun instead, in particular they/their

E.g.: If that spectator keeps waving their arms about, someone is going to get hurt.

Some people dislike seeing this in print, though it is increasingly common in speech and informal
usage ans is rapidly becoming a standard.
4) Use the female pronoun instead. Writers do use "she/her" as a conscious alternative
relatively frequently.

E.g.:A careful student budgets her time.

However, it is as open to the arguments about inherent sexism as continuing to use he for generic
form.

Six Strategies for Solving Gender Exclusive Pronoun Problems

1) Substitute a plural pronoun for the gender exclusive noun or pronoun .

Original Sentence: Although a doctor is busy, he should always answer his patient' s questions.

Problem: The use of "he" overlooks the fact that "a doctor" could be either male or female. Since
there is no reference to any specific male doctor, the pronoun "he" excludes one gender
unnecessarily.

Solution: Substitute a plural pronoun for "he-"

Revised Sentence: Although doctors are busy, ............ should always answer
. .................. patients' questions.

2) Delete the gender exclusive pronoun

Original Sentence: A good lawyer uses his analytical ability.

Problem: The use of "his" overlooks the fact that "a good lawyer could be either male or female.
Since there is no reference to any specific male lawyer, the pronoun "his" excludes one gender
unnecessarily.

Solution: Delete the gender exclusive pronoun..

Revised Sentence: A good lawyer uses ... . . . ........ analytical ability .

3) Substitute a gender neutral first or second person pronoun for a third person gender
exclusive pronoun.

Original Sentence: A careful student budgets her time.

Problem :The use of "her" overlooks the fact that "a careful student" could be either male or female
Since there is no reference to any specific female student, the pronoun "her" excludes one gender
unnecessarily.

Solution: Substitute a gender neutral first or second person word for "her."

Revised Sentence: As a careful student, ............. should budget .............. time.

4) Revise the sentence to change its subject.

Original Sentence: A good salesperson makes sure she keeps her customers happy .
Problem: The use of the pronoun "she" overlooks the fact that salespersons can be males or female.
Since there is not reference to any specific female salesperson, the pronoun "she" excludes one
gender unnecessarily.

Solution: Revise the sentence to change its subject, thereby eliminating the gender exclusive
pronoun.

Revised Sentence: Keeping customers happy is an important part of .......... ....

5) Use "he or she'' (never s/be or he/she) sparingly.

Original Sentence: A teacher's success depends on whether she communicates effectively.

Problem: The use of the pronoun "she" overlooks the fact that "a teacher" could be either male or
female. Since there is no reference to any specific teacher, the pronoun "she" excludes one gender
unnecessarily.

Solution: Revise the sentence to substitute "he or she" for the gender exclusive pronoun "she."

Revised Sentence: A teacher's success depends on whether ......... . . . . ... communicates effectively.

6) Substitute an article for the masculine or feminine pronoun.

Original Sentence: Every student should bring his text to class.

Problem : The use of the pronoun "his" overlooks the existence of both male and female students.
Since there is no reference to any specific male student, the pronoun "his" excludes one gender
unnecessarily.

Solution: Revise the sentence to substitute an article for "his."

Revised Sentence: Every student should bring ... . . ....... . . . . . ...... text to class