Bernard of Clairvaux says, There are those who seek knowledge for

the sake of knowledge; that is Curiosity. There are those who seek
knowledge to be known by others; that is Vanity. There are those who
seek knowledge in order to serve; that is Love. I have been
challenged recently by my use of the word love. It is not a new
conundrum by any means. But as I have thought more deeply about
the question of why I want to be a counselor I hear echoes of others in
my head saying, Andrea, you love people. What do they mean by
that? What do I mean by that when Ive said it myself? Were we both
really saying that I, Andrea, merely enjoy people, or that I prefer
spending time with people to motor biking, candlestick making, or
studying politics? Or is it that I love people in the sense that my love is
an action towards others, not merely a feeling? Do I love like Jesus
loves? Do I give people what they need and not just what they want?

I quote Bernard of Clairvaux and I am discussing the basic need for

love in my heart towards others because I believe that this is the heart
of Christian service and spiritual maturity (1 Cor 13:13). While I am not
sure how to answer the questions above, I can say with certainty that I
desire to be a person of love in the capacities that I just named. And I
hope to show in this brief essay the fruit in my life from this pursuit of
love.

If you were to ask me when I started walking with Jesus, I think it was
that sophomore year of high school when God had stripped parts of my
identity away, convicted me, and taught me who He was through the
retreats and bible classes at my Catholic high school. Through high
school I learned suffering through discipline in my schoolwork and on
the field and the fruit that came through it. I learned self-control from
turning away from partying and being able to choose integrity over
popularity.

Between the facts of not growing up in a Christian home and living in

the North, it wasnt until I moved South and attended Furman that I
had Christian community. Before my freshmen year at Furman I had
deeply desired what I would have articulated as, people who also
wanted Jesus. God answered that desire. Though this was my desire, I
was still reluctant to be a part of Christian community and call myself a
Christian. I wanted to protect my identity. I was too afraid to be
grouped with the wrong people. I thought that if I were to call myself
a Christian others would lasso me in with the people who only wore t-
shirts from mission trips, wore kakis, and had parents that had the time
to cut the crust off of their PB & J sandwich as a child. Finally, I got over
what people thought of me and I lived in freedom of those that judged
me. That first year at Furman was one of the hardest years of my life.
Though difficult I would say that by the end of it I had undergone a
baptism. I started reading the bible for myself for the first time and
strengthening my relationships with those who were Christians.

For the next three years I was committed to a Christian college

ministry called Campus Outreach. I spent summers with this ministry
being trained on how to be a disciple of Jesus, how to engage others in
the gospel, share the gospel effectively, make disciples, and live in
community.

The greatest growing experience in those years was my junior year.

While other upperclassmen chose to live in the apartments on campus,
I chose to live as a Freshman Resident Assistant on a freshmen hall for
the purpose of ministry. What God did through me that year with those
50 girls gave me a heart for ministry. He led me that year to invest in
five specific girls. Loving these girls stretched me to learn how to be
unashamed of the gospel and lead others to Jesus.

My senior year I was asked to lead the freshman bible study for
Campus Outreach. This was a leadership role that I was not
comfortable in doing and God grew and stretched me a ton in learning
how to be confident to lead and pursue relationships with the girls but
most of all how to plan our short hour together weekly.

That same year I seriously considered going on staff with Campus

Outreach after graduation. While it seemed like the natural next step
for me it didnt require faith and, in addition, I saw my need to gain a
new perspective-- to see a different expression of the church since this
was the only church family that I had ever experienced. At that time, I
believed that God was calling me to stay in Greenville and to invest
myself in a church called Radius that I am still now attending. I lived
with four other girls that first year in a house. They were my closest
community. We went to church together, and enjoyed a weekly dinner
together. I learned a lot about the Holy Spirit and His role in our lives. I
learned a lot from these girls in general because they were all a year
older than me. That spring following graduation I was given the role of
leading the community of those girls in our house as well as a few
others who would come to meet with us weekly. Again, God grew me
into another leadership role but this one was more comprehensive this
time. The girls were different ages and backgrounds and the context of
leading community in a local church setting versus a college ministry
required a lot more responsibility.

During that same spring, a few of the girls in our community were
asked to serve a non-profit called Living Bread by living with an elderly
woman. The reason being that Living Bread is a ministry that serves
women with eating disorders and this particular woman needed to go
away for a few months to be admitted to a recovery center yet she
lived with and cared for an elderly woman. So while the young woman
was away we lived with and cared for the elderly woman.

I have done extensive work with Living Bread close to the time when
Ella Walker Henderson, an alumni of Richmont, first started the
ministry. I have been her marketing committee and have done most of
her marketing work.

As I became close with Ella Walker through doing work for her with
Living Bread I heard about her venture in starting a healing prayer
team at our church. I was one of the first to start going through the
training program to become equipped to be on the team. In the past
two years I have been trained and for the past 6 months I have served
as one of the primary members on the prayer team at our church.

That fall, I was given the privilege to travel with our pastor and other
Greenville church leaders on two-week journey, being taught Ray
Vander Laan in Israel on the Old and New Testament. Along with
growing in knowledge of Jesus, the Scriptures, and the historical Jewish
context, it was through this trip that God gave me a huge gift by
introducing me to Joel Tassie. Joel was one of the church leaders on the
trip and asked me to be a part of his family. For the past year he and
his wife have been the parents to me that I never had. They have
taught me everything from how to have a budget to how to build
boundaries. Joel and his wife have been Jesus to me. They have shown
me what true love looks like by giving people what they need and not
what they want.

In addition to these parts of my life, a large part of my Christian service

has been in service to my family. I have lived to be a light to my mom,
sister, and dad whether it has been acts of service, having
conversations about the gospel with them, enjoying my time with
them, or loving them through the stresses in their life.

From a worldly perspective there really is nothing for me to boast

about from the time I graduated from Furman until now. But spiritually,
I have had many victories through Christ. God brought me low these
past two years and now, through Joel and others, He is healing me and
showing me what it really means to love. He is also showing me the
reward in longsuffering.

Some of my favorite words from Brennan Manning are when he says in

his book Abbas Child, In Loves service only wounded soldiers can
serve (Brennan 29). I identify with the idea of being a wounded
soldier in respect to the chaos of my family life growing up. Over this
past year I have observed that healing takes place in a person when
those ministering to them begin with love for that person. And often a
minister has love and compassion for a person due to their own
hardship either because of their own sin or sin done against them. The
counselors/ministers primary motive is to care for the person, rather
than fix them. I believe that I have learned how to care for others,
rather than fix them, but I wish to gain more wisdom and perspective
of how to do this well and be trained in the craft of counseling. My
hope, in attending Richmont, is that I would be a student who is
seeking knowledge in order to serve, and therefore, love, truly love in
service to the Kingdom of God.