Forgiveness - Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.

org/wiki/Forgiveness

Forgiveness
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a

victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an
offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with
an increased ability to wish the offender well.[1][2] Forgiveness
is different from condoning (failing to see the action as wrong
and in need of forgiveness), excusing (not holding the offender
as responsible for the action), forgetting (removing awareness
of the offense from consciousness), pardoning (granted for an
acknowledged offense by a representative of society, such as a
judge), and reconciliation (restoration of a relationship).[1]

In certain contexts, forgiveness is a legal term for absolving or

giving up all claims on account of debt, loan, obligation, or
other claims.[3][4]
Emperor Marcus Aurelius shows
As a psychological concept and virtue, the benefits of clemency to the vanquished after
forgiveness have been explored in religious thought, the social his success against tribes.
sciences and medicine. Forgiveness may be considered simply (Capitoline Museum in Rome)
in terms of the person who forgives[5] including forgiving
themselves, in terms of the person forgiven or in terms of the relationship between the forgiver and
the person forgiven. In most contexts, forgiveness is granted without any expectation of restorative
justice, and without any response on the part of the offender (for example, one may forgive a
person who is incommunicado or dead). In practical terms, it may be necessary for the offender to
offer some form of acknowledgment, an apology, or even just ask for forgiveness, in order for the
wronged person to believe himself able to forgive.[1]

Social and political dimensions of forgiveness Is the question of forgiveness restricted to the
strictly private and religious sphere or can it have a social and political dimension? The notion of
"forgiveness" is generally considered unusual in the political field. However, Hannah Arendt
considers that the "faculty of forgiveness" has its place in public affairs. The philosopher believes
that forgiveness can liberate resources both individually and collectively in the face of the
irreparable. During an investigation in Rwanda on the discourses and practices of forgiveness after
the 1994 genocide, sociologist Benot Guillou illustrated the extreme polysemy of the word
"forgiveness" but also the eminently political character of the notion. By way of conclusion of his
work, the author proposes four main figures of forgiveness to better understanding, on the one
hand, ambiguous uses and, on the other hand, the conditions under which forgiveness can mediate a
resumption of social link.[6]

Most world religions include teachings on the nature of forgiveness, and many of these teachings
provide an underlying basis for many varying modern day traditions and practices of forgiveness.

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Some religious doctrines or philosophies place greater emphasis on the need for humans to find
some sort of divine forgiveness for their own shortcomings, others place greater emphasis on the
need for humans to practice forgiveness of one another, yet others make little or no distinction
between human and divine forgiveness.

Contents
1 Research
2 Religious views
2.1 Abrahamic
2.1.1 Judaism
2.1.2 Christianity
2.1.3 Islam
2.1.4 Bah' Faith
2.2 Eastern
2.2.1 Buddhism
2.2.2 Hinduism
2.2.3 Jainism
2.2.4 Hooponopono
3 Popular recognition
4 Forgiveness In Relationships
5 Forgiveness Interventions
5.1 Different Types
5.2 Contrary Evidence
5.3 Forgiveness Interventions: Children
6 Forgiveness and Health
7 Forgiveness and Physical Health
7.1 Evidence Supporting a Correlation
7.2 Criticisms
8 Self-Forgiveness
8.1 Therapeutic Model
9 See also
10 Notes
11 References
12 External links

Research
Although there is presently no consensus for a psychological definition of forgiveness in the
research literature, agreement has emerged that forgiveness is a process and a number of models

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describing the process of forgiveness have been

published, including one from a radical behavioral
perspective.[7]

Dr. Robert Enright from the University of

WisconsinMadison founded the International
Forgiveness Institute and is considered the initiator
of forgiveness studies. He developed a 20-Step
Process Model of Forgiveness.[8] Recent work has
focused on what kind of person is more likely to be
forgiving. A longitudinal study showed that people
who were generally more neurotic, angry and hostile Factors determining the likelihood of
in life were less likely to forgive another person even forgiveness in an intimate relationship.
after a long time had passed. Specifically, these
people were more likely to still avoid their
transgressor and want to enact revenge upon them two and a half years after the transgression.[9]

Studies show that people who forgive are happier and healthier than those who hold
resentments.[10] The first study to look at how forgiveness improves physical health discovered that
when people think about forgiving an offender it leads to improved functioning in their
cardiovascular and nervous systems.[11] Another study at the University of Wisconsin found the
more forgiving people were, the less they suffered from a wide range of illnesses. The less
forgiving people reported a greater number of health problems.[12]

The research of Dr. Fred Luskin of Stanford University, and author of the book "Learning to
forgive"[13] presented evidence that forgiveness can be learned based on research projects into the
effects of forgiveness, giving empirical validity to the concept that forgiveness is not only powerful,
but also excellent for your health was presented with a Champion of Forgiveness from the
Worldwide Forgiveness Alliance on Forgiveness Day (first Sunday of August) for his teaching
forgiveness as a life skill.[14]

In three separate studies, including one with Catholics and Protestants from Northern Ireland whose
family members were murdered in the political violence, he found that people who are taught how
to forgive become less angry, feel less hurt, are more optimistic, become more forgiving in a variety
of situations, and become more compassionate and self-confident. His studies show a reduction in
experience of stress, physical manifestations of stress, and an increase in vitality.[15]

Religious views
Abrahamic

Judaism

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In Judaism, if a person causes harm, but then sincerely and honestly apologizes to the wronged
individual and tries to rectify the wrong, the wronged individual is encouraged, but not required, to
grant forgiveness:

"It is forbidden to be obdurate and not allow yourself to be appeased. On the contrary, one
should be easily pacified and find it difficult to become angry. When asked by an offender for
forgiveness, one should forgive with a sincere mind and a willing spirit ... forgiveness is
natural to the seed of Israel." (Mishneh Torah, Teshuvah 2:10)

In Judaism, one must go to those he has harmed in order to be entitled to forgiveness.[16] [One who
sincerely apologizes three times for a wrong committed against another has fulfilled his or her
obligation to seek forgiveness. (Shulchan Aruch) OC 606:1] This means that in Judaism a person
cannot obtain forgiveness from God for wrongs the person has done to other people. This also
means that, unless the victim forgave the perpetrator before he died, murder is unforgivable in
Judaism, and they will answer to God for it, though the victims' family and friends can forgive the
murderer for the grief they caused them. The Tefila Zaka meditation, which is recited just before
Yom Kippur, closes with the following:

"I know that there is no one so righteous that they have not wronged another, financially or
physically, through deed or speech. This pains my heart within me, because wrongs between
humans and their fellow are not atoned by Yom Kippur, until the wronged one is appeased.
Because of this, my heart breaks within me, and my bones tremble; for even the day of death
does not atone for such sins. Therefore I prostrate and beg before You, to have mercy on me,
and grant me grace, compassion, and mercy in Your eyes and in the eyes of all people. For
behold, I forgive with a final and resolved forgiveness anyone who has wronged me, whether
in person or property, even if they slandered me, or spread falsehoods against me. So I release
anyone who has injured me either in person or in property, or has committed any manner of
sin that one may commit against another [except for legally enforceable business obligations,
and except for someone who has deliberately harmed me with the thought I can harm him
because he will forgive me']. Except for these two, I fully and finally forgive everyone; may
no one be punished because of me. And just as I forgive everyone, so may You grant me
grace in the eyes of others, that they too forgive me absolutely." [emphasis added]

Thus the "reward" for forgiving others is not God's forgiveness for wrongs done to others, but
rather help in obtaining forgiveness from the other person.

Sir Jonathan Sacks, Chief Rabbi of the United Hebrew Congregations of the Commonwealth,
summarized: "it is not that God forgives, while human beings do not. To the contrary, we believe
that just as only God can forgive sins against God, so only human beings can forgive sins against
human beings."[17]

Jews observe a Day of Atonement Yom Kippur on the day before God makes decisions regarding
what will happen during the coming year.[16] Just prior to Yom Kippur, Jews will ask forgiveness of
those they have wronged during the prior year (if they have not already done so).[16] During Yom

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Kippur itself, Jews fast and pray for God's forgiveness for the transgressions they have made
against God in the prior year.[16] Sincere repentance is required, and once again, God can only
forgive one for the sins one has committed against God; this is why it is necessary for Jews also to
seek the forgiveness of those people who they have wronged.[16]

Christianity

Forgiveness is central to Christian ethics and is a frequent

topic in sermons and theological works. It is usually
considered a duty of Christians to forgive even when
forgiveness is not deserved:

In the New Testament, Jesus speaks of the importance of

Christians forgiving or showing mercy towards others.
Jesus used the parable of the unmerciful servant (Matthew
18:21-35) to say that we should forgive without limits.
Parable of the Prodigal Son[18] is perhaps the best known
parable about forgiveness and refers to God's forgiveness
for his people.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus repeatedly spoke of

forgiveness, "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be
shown mercy." Matthew 5:7 (NIV) "Therefore, if you are
offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your Rembrandt "The Return of the
brother has something against you, leave your gift there in Prodigal Son
front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother;
then come and offer your gift." Matthew 5:23-24 (NIV)
"And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your
Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." Mark 11:25 (NIV)* "But I tell you who hear me:
Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who
mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also." Luke 6:27-29 (NIV)
"Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful." Luke 6:36 (NIV) "Do not judge, and you will not be
judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." Luke
6:37 (NIV)

Elsewhere, it is said, "Then Peter came to Him and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin
against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to
seven times, but up to seventy times seven." Matthew 18:21-22 (NKJV)

Jesus asked for God's forgiveness of those who crucified him. "And Jesus said, 'Father, forgive
them, for they know not what they do.'" Luke 23: 34 (ESV)

Considering Mark 11:25 above, and Matthew 6:1415, that follows the Lord's Prayer, "For if you
forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do

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not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.," Forgiveness is not an option to a
Christian, rather one must Forgive to be a Christian.

Benedict XVI, on a visit to Lebanon in 2012, insisted that peace must be based on mutual
forgiveness: "Only forgiveness, given and received, can lay lasting foundations for reconciliation
and universal peace".[19]

Islam

Islam teaches that Allah is Al-Ghaffur "The Oft-Forgiving", and is the original source of all
forgiveness (ghufran ). Seeking forgiveness from Allah with repentance is a virtue.[20][21][22]

(...) Allah forgives what is past: for repetition Allah will exact from him the penalty. For
Allah is Exalted, and Lord of Retribution.

Quran 5:95

Islam recommends forgiveness between Muslims, because Allah values forgiveness. There are
numerous verses in Quran and the Hadiths recommending forgiveness. However, Islam also allows
revenge to the extent harm done, but forgiveness between Muslims is encouraged, with a promise
of reward from Allah.[23][24]

The recompense for an injury is an injury equal thereto (in degree): but if a person
forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is due from Allah: for (Allah) loveth not
those who do wrong.

Quran 42:40

Afw ( is another term for forgiveness in Islam; it occurs 35 times in Quran, and in some Islamic
theological studies, it is used interchangeably with ghufran.[20][21][25] Afw means to pardon, to
excuse for a fault or an offense. According to Muhammad Amanullah,[26] forgiveness ('Afw) in
Islam is derived from three wisdoms. First and the most important wisdom of forgiveness is that it
is merciful when the victim or guardian of the victim accepts money instead of revenge.[27][28] The
second wisdom of forgiveness is that it increases honor and prestige of the one who forgives.[26]
Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness, humiliation or dishonor.[21] Forgiveness is honor, raises the
merit of the forgiver in the eyes of Allah, and enables a forgiver to enter paradise.[26] The third
wisdom of forgiveness is that according to some scholars, such as al-Tabari and al-Qurtubi,
forgiveness expiates (kaffarah) the forgiver from the sins he or she may have committed at other
occasions in life.[21][29] Forgiveness is a form of charity (sadaqat). Forgiveness granted to another
Muslim comes from taqwa (piety), a quality of God-fearing people.[26]

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The Quran recommends, whenever possible, it is better to forgive another Muslim.[30] Muslims
should treat other Muslims with forbearance, tolerance and forgiveness. However, forgiveness is
not recommended in the relationship between Muslims and non-Muslims [31] (although there is no
Quranic proscription against forgiveness of non-Muslims). Forgiveness is also not recommended
against infidels, apostate, and blasphemous people.[32][33][34] There is a sharp differentiation
between forgiveness that is recommended for Muslims in Islam and for those who convert to Islam,
and impossibility of forgiveness for non-Muslims who refuse to accept Islam, a shirk or anyone
who has insulted Islam.[23][35][36]

Those who believe, then reject faith, then believe (again) and (again) reject faith, and go
on increasing in unbelief,- Allah will not forgive them nor guide them nor guide them on
the way.

Quran 4:137

Bah' Faith

In the Bah' Writings, this explanation is given of how to be forgiving towards others:

"Love the creatures for the sake of God and not for themselves. You will never become
angry or impatient if you love them for the sake of God. Humanity is not perfect. There
are imperfections in every human being, and you will always become unhappy if you
look toward the people themselves. But if you look toward God, you will love them and
be kind to them, for the world of God is the world of perfection and complete mercy.
Therefore, do not look at the shortcomings of anybody; see with the sight of
forgiveness."
`Abdu'l-Bah, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 92

Eastern

Buddhism

In Buddhism, forgiveness is seen as a practice to prevent harmful thoughts from causing havoc on
one's mental well-being.[37] Buddhism recognizes that feelings of hatred and ill-will leave a lasting
effect on our mind karma. Instead, Buddhism encourages the cultivation of thoughts that leave a
wholesome effect. "In contemplating the law of karma, we realize that it is not a matter of seeking
revenge but of practicing mett and forgiveness, for the victimizer is, truly, the most unfortunate of
all."[38] When resentments have already arisen, the Buddhist view is to calmly proceed to release
them by going back to their roots. Buddhism centers on release from delusion and suffering through
meditation and receiving insight into the nature of reality. Buddhism questions the reality of the

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passions that make forgiveness necessary as well as the reality of the objects of those passions.[39]
"If we havent forgiven, we keep creating an identity around our pain, and that is what is reborn.
That is what suffers."[40]

Buddhism places much emphasis on the concepts of Mett (loving kindness), karuna (compassion),
mudita (sympathetic joy), and upekkh (equanimity), as a means to avoiding resentments in the first
place. These reflections are used to understand the context of suffering in the world, both our own
and the suffering of others.

"He abused me, he struck me, he overcame me, he robbed me in those who harbor such
thoughts hatred will never cease."
"He abused me, he struck me, he overcame me, he robbed me in those who do not harbor
such thoughts hatred will cease."
(Dhammapada 1.3-4; trans. Radhakrishnan - see article)[41]

Hinduism

In Vedic literature and epics of Hinduism, Ksama or

Kshyama (Sanskrit: )[46] and fusion words based
on it, describe the concept of forgiveness. The word
ksama is often combined with kripa (tenderness),
daya (kindness) and karuna ( , compassion) in
Sanskrit texts.[47] In Rg Veda, forgiveness is
discussed in verses dedicated to deity Varuna, both
the context of the one who has done wrong and one
who is wronged.[48][49] Forgiveness is considered
one of the six cardinal virtues in Hinduism.

The theological basis for forgiveness in Hinduism is Holi is the Hindu festival of colors, celebrated
that a person who does not forgive carries a baggage in spring. The young and the old celebrate by
of memories of the wrong, of negative feelings, of dancing, laughing and smearing each other
anger and unresolved emotions that affect his or her with Abir coloured powder, or spraying
present as well as future. In Hinduism, not only Gulal - colored water.[42] Traditionally, this is
should one forgive others, but one must also seek also a day to mark forgiveness, meet and
forgiveness if one has wronged someone else.[47] make up with one's ruptured relationships.
Forgiveness is to be sought from the individual [43][44] In Indonesia, among Balinese Hindus,
wronged, as well as society at large, by acts of Ngembak Geni - the day after Nyepi - is the
charity, purification, fasting, rituals and meditative ritual festive day in spring to meet and forgive
introspection.
each other.[45]
The concept of forgiveness is further refined in
Hinduism by rhetorically contrasting it in feminine and masculine form. In feminine form, one
form of forgiveness is explained through Lakshmi (called Goddess Sri in some parts of India); the

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other form is explained in the masculine form through her husband Vishnu.[47] Feminine Lakshmi
forgives even when the one who does wrong does not repent. Masculine Vishnu, on the other hand,
forgives only when the wrong doer repents. In Hinduism, the feminine forgiveness granted without
repentance by Laskmi is higher and more noble than the masculine forgiveness granted only after
there is repentance. In the Hindu epic Ramayana, Sita - the wife of King Rama - is symbolically
eulogized for forgiving a crow even as it harms her. Later in the epic Ramayana, she is eulogized
again for forgiving those who harass her while she has been kidnapped in Lanka.[47] Many other
Hindu stories discuss forgiveness with or without repentance.[50]

The concept of forgiveness is inconsistently treated in extensive debates of Hindu literature. In

some Hindu texts,[51] certain sins and intentional acts are debated as naturally unforgivable; for
example, murder and rape; these ancient scholars argue whether blanket forgiveness is morally
justifiable in every circumstance, and whether forgiveness encourages crime, disrespect, social
disorder and people not taking you seriously.[52] Other ancient Hindu texts highlight that
forgiveness is not same as reconciliation.

Forgiveness in Hinduism does not necessarily require that one reconcile with the offender, nor does
it rule out reconciliation in some situations. Instead forgiveness in Hindu philosophy is being
compassionate, tender, kind and letting go of the harm or hurt caused by someone or something
else.[53] Forgiveness is essential for one to free oneself from negative thoughts, and being able to
focus on blissfully living a moral and ethical life (dharmic life).[47] In the highest self-realized
state, forgiveness becomes essence of one's personality, where the persecuted person remains
unaffected, without agitation, without feeling like a victim, free from anger (akrodhi).[54][55]

Other epics and ancient literature of Hinduism discuss forgiveness. For example:

Forgiveness is virtue; forgiveness is sacrifice; forgiveness is the Vedas; forgiveness is

the Shruti.
Forgiveness protecteth the ascetic merit of the future; forgiveness is asceticism;
forgiveness is holiness; and by forgiveness is it that the universe is held together.

Mahabharata, Book 3, Vana Parva, Section XXIX, [56]

Righteousness is the one highest good, forgiveness is the one supreme peace, knowledge
is one supreme contentment, and benevolence, one sole happiness.

Mahabharata, Book 5, Udyoga Parva, Section XXXIII, [57]

Janak asked: Oh lord, how does one attain wisdom? how does liberation happen?
Ashtavakra replied: Oh beloved, if you want liberation, then renounce imagined
passions as poison, take forgiveness, innocence, compassion, contentment and truth as

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nectar; (...)

Ashtavakra Gita[58][59]

Jainism

In Jainism, forgiveness is one of the main virtues that needs to be cultivated by the Jains.
Kampan or supreme forgiveness forms part of one of the ten characteristics of dharma.[60] In
the Jain prayer, (pratikramana) Jains repeatedly seek forgiveness from various creatureseven
from ekindriyas or single sensed beings like plants and microorganisms that they may have harmed
while eating and doing routine activities.[61] Forgiveness is asked by uttering the phrase, Micchmi
dukkaa. Micchmi dukkaa is a Prakrit language phrase literally meaning "may all the evil that
has been done be fruitless."[62] During samvatsarithe last day of Jain festival paryusanaJains
utter the phrase Micchami Dukkadam after pratikraman. As a matter of ritual, they personally greet
their friends and relatives micchmi dukkaa seeking their forgiveness. No private quarrel or
dispute may be carried beyond samvatsari, and letters and telephone calls are made to the outstation
friends and relatives asking their forgiveness.[63]

Pratikraman also contains the following prayer:[64]

Khmemi savva-jve savv jive khamantu me /

metti me savva-bhesu, vera mejjha na keavi //

(I ask pardon of all creatures, may all creatures pardon me.

May I have friendship with all beings and enmity with none.)

In their daily prayers and samayika, Jains recite Iryavahi sutra seeking forgiveness from all
creatures while involved in routine activities:[65]

May you, O Revered One! Voluntarily permit me. I would like to confess my sinful acts
committed while walking. I honour your permission. I desire to absolve myself of the
sinful acts by confessing them. I seek forgiveness from all those living beings which I
may have tortured while walking, coming and going, treading on living organism, seeds,
green grass, dew drops, ant hills, moss, live water, live earth, spider web and others. I
seek forgiveness from all these living beings, be they one sensed, two sensed, three
sensed, four sensed or five sensed. Which I may have kicked, covered with dust, rubbed
with ground, collided with other, turned upside down, tormented, frightened, shifted
from one place to another or killed and deprived them of their lives. (By confessing)
may I be absolved of all these sins.

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Jain texts quote Mhavra on forgiveness:[66]

By practicing pryacitta (repentance), a soul gets rid of sins, and commits no

transgressions; he who correctly practises pryacitta gains the road and the reward of
the road, he wins the reward of good conduct. By begging forgiveness he obtains
happiness of mind; thereby he acquires a kind disposition towards all kinds of living
beings; by this kind disposition he obtains purity of character and freedom from fear.

Mhavra in Uttardhyayana Stra 29:1718

Even the code of conduct amongst the monks requires the monks to ask forgiveness for all
transgressions:[67]

If among monks or nuns occurs a quarrel or dispute or dissension, the young monk
should ask forgiveness of the superior, and the superior of the young monk. They should
forgive and ask forgiveness, appease and be appeased, and converse without restraint.
For him who is appeased, there will be success (in control); for him who is not
appeased, there will be no success; therefore one should appease one's self. 'Why has
this been said, Sir? Peace is the essence of monasticism'.

Kalpa Stra 8:59

Hooponopono

Hooponopono is an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness, combined with

prayer. Similar forgiveness practices were performed on islands throughout the South Pacific,
including Samoa, Tahiti and New Zealand. Traditionally Hooponopono is practiced by healing
priests or kahuna lapaau among family members of a person who is physically ill. Modern
versions are performed within the family by a family elder, or by the individual alone.

Popular recognition
The need to forgive is widely recognized by the public, but they are often at a loss for ways to
accomplish it. For example, in a large representative sampling of American people on various
religious topics in 1988, the Gallup Organization found that 94% said it was important to forgive,
but 85% said they needed some outside help to be able to forgive. However, not even regular prayer
was found to be effective.

Akin to forgiveness is mercy, so even if a person is not able to complete the forgiveness process he
or she can still show mercy, especially when so many wrongs are done out of weakness rather than

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malice. The Gallup poll revealed that the only thing that was effective was "meditative prayer".[68]

Forgiveness as a tool has been extensively used in restorative justice programs, after the abolition
of apartheid Truth and Reconciliation Commission (South Africa), run for victims and perpetrators
of Rwandan genocide, the violence in IsraeliPalestinian conflict, and Northern Ireland conflict,
which has also been documented in film, Beyond Right and Wrong: Stories of Justice and
Forgiveness (2012).[69][70]

Forgiveness In Relationships
Forgiveness in marriage is an important aspect in a marriage. When two individuals are able to
forgive each other it results to a long happy marriage. Forgiveness can help prevent problems from
accruing in the married couple's future.[71]

In a 2005 study, researchers were interested whether forgiveness is important in a marriage

relationship or if forgiveness is not important? When does forgiveness usually accrue? Does it
accrue before an argument or after an argument? Does forgiveness take a role when a person breaks
a promise?[71] Researcher found six components that were related to forgiveness in marriage and
explains how each one relates to forgiveness. The six components are: Satisfaction, Ambivalence,
Conflict, Attributions, Empathy and Commitment.[71]

Researchers provided an overview of forgiveness in marriage and how individuals in a relationship

believe that if forgiveness accrues then you must forget what had happened.[71] Moreover, based on
the interventions and recommendations the researcher started to see how important forgiveness is in
a relationship and how it can lead to a happy and healthy relationship.[71]

In a 2005 study, researchers mentioned that when couples forgive their spouses they sometimes
need help from professionals to overcome their pain that might be left behind.[71] Researchers also
described the difference between how each individual perceives the situation based on who is in
pain and who caused the pain. Also how the couple react to the situation based on their feelings and
how they personally response to the situation.[71]

The model of forgiveness:

"Enright's model of forgiveness has received empirical support and sees forgiveness as a journey
through four phases" which are:[71]

1. Uncovering phase: Emphases on exploring the pain that the individual has experienced.
2. Decision phase: The nature of forgiveness is discussed. Also the individual commits that she
or he will try to forgive the spouse
3. Work phase: shifts the focus to the transgressor in an effort to gain insight and
understanding.
4. Deepening phase: the victim moves toward resolution, becoming aware that he or she is not

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alone, has him or herself been the recipient of others forgiveness, and finds meaning and
purpose in the forgiveness process.[71]

Furthermore, when married couples argue they tend to focus on who is right and who is wrong.
Also couples tend to focus on who proves the other wrong which can cause more problems and can
make the problem worse because it will make it harder to forgive one another.[71]

Recommendation and interventions:

The researchers also came up with recommendation for practitioners and intervention to help
individual that are married on how to communicate with each other, how to resolve problems and
how to make it easier to forgive each other.[71] Some of the intervention of forgiveness in marriage
has been a great success. It encouraged forgiveness and made couples happier together.[71]

Some of the recommendation that was given to practitioners was that the individuals had to explore
and understand what forgiveness means before starting any intervention because the preconceived
idea of forgiveness can cause problems with couples being open to forgive.[71] For example, an
individual not forgiving his or her spouse out of fear that the spouse might think that he or she is
weak which can cause a conflict.[71] It was stated that the couple must know the following:

Forgiveness takes
The different forms of forgiveness
The danger in communicating in forgiveness
Perpetrators and victims have different perceptive context is important [71]

Furthermore, the researchers thought of ways to further help married couples in the future and
suggested that they should explore in the following:

The importance of seeking forgiveness

Self-forgiveness
The role of the sacred in marital forgiveness[71]

Relationships are at the sentiment aspect of our lives; with our families at home and friends outside.
Relationships interact in schools and universities, with work mates and, with colleagues at the
workplace and in our diverse communities. In the article it states, the quality of these relationships
determines our individual well-being, how well we learn, develop and function, our sense of
connectedness with others and the health so society.[72]

In 2002, two innovators of Positive Psychology, Ed Diener and Martin Seligman, conducted a study
at the University of Illinois on the 10% of students with the highest scores recorded on a survey of
personal happiness. What they came up with was most salient characteristics shared by students
who were very content and showed positive life styles were the ones who "their strong ties to
friends and family and commitment to spending time with them."[73]

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A study done in 2000, identified as a key study that taken part and examined two natures of
relationships (friends and family) and at what age does the support switch importance from one to
the other. What the study showed that people whom had good family relationship, they were able to
carry out more positive outside relationships with friends. Through the family relationship and
friendships the character of the individual was built to forgive and learn from the experience in the
family. It just goes to show that to have a good base at the start of a young age, will train the person
to have good better well-being with outside interactions.[74]

In 2001, Charlotte vanOyen Witvliet asked people to think about someone who had hurt, wronged,
or offended them. As they thought to answer, she observed their reaction. She observed their blood
pressure, heart rate, facial muscle tension, and sweat gland activity. To deliberate on an old
misdemeanor is to practice unforgiveness. Interestingly enough, the outcome to the recall of the
grudge the candidates blood pressure and heart rate increased, and they sweated more. Pondering
about their resents was stressful, and subjects found the rumination unpleasant. When they adept
forgiveness, their physical stimulation glided downward. They showed no more of an anxiety
reaction than normal wakefulness produces.[75]

In 2013, study on self-forgiveness with spouse forgiveness has a better outcome to a healthier life
by Pelucchi, Paleari, Regalia and Fincham. This study investigates self-forgiveness for real hurts
committed against the partner in a romantic relationship (168 couples). For both males and females,
the mistaken partners were more content with their romantic relationship to the extent that they had
more positive and less negative sentiment and thoughts toward themselves. In the study when
looking at the victimized partners were more gratified with the relationship when the offending
partner had less negative sentiment and thoughts towards themselves. It concludes that
self-forgiveness when in a relationship has positive impact on both the offending and victimized
partner.[76]

Forgiveness Interventions
Both negative and positive affect play a role in forgiveness interventions. It is the general consensus
across researchers in the field of psychology, that the overarching purpose of forgiveness
interventions is to decrease overall negative affect associated with the stimulus and increase the
individual's positive affect.[77][78]

The disease model has been mainly used in regards to therapy, however the incorporation of
forgiveness into therapy has been lacking,[77] and has been slowly gaining popularity in the last
couple of decades.[77] More recent research has shown how the growth of forgiveness in
psychology has given rise to the study of forgiveness interventions.[77]

Different Types

There are various forms of forgiveness interventions.[77] One common adaptation used by
researchers is where patients are forced to confront the entity preventing them from forgiving by

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using introspective techniques and expressing this to the therapist.[77][78] Another popular
forgiveness intervention is getting individual to try and see things from the offender's point of view.
The end goal for this adaptation is getting the individual to perhaps understand the reasoning
behind the offender's actions.[77][78] If they are able to do this then they might be able to forgive the
offender more easily.[77][78]

There is, however, conflicting evidence on the effectiveness of forgiveness interventions.[77]

Contrary Evidence

Although research has taken into account the positive aspects of forgiveness interventions, there are
also negative aspects that have been explored as well. Some researchers have taken a critical
approach and have been less accepting of the forgiveness intervention approach to therapy. [77]

Critics have argued that forgiveness interventions may actually cause an increase in negative affect
because it is trying to inhibit the individual's own personal feelings towards the offender. This can
result in the individual feeling negatively towards themselves.[77] This approach is categorizing the
individual's feelings by implying that the negative emotions the individual is feeling are
unacceptable and feelings of forgiveness is the correct and acceptable way to feel. It might
inadvertently promote feelings of shame and contrition within the individual.[77]

Some researchers also worry that forgiveness interventions will promote unhealthy relationships.
[77][79] They worry that individuals with toxic relationships will continue to forgive those who
continuously commit wrong acts towards them when in fact they should be distancing themselves
from these sorts of people.[77][79]

A number of studies showcase high effectiveness rates of forgiveness interventions when done
continuously over a long period of time.[77] Some researchers have found that these interventions
have been proven ineffective when done over short spans of time.[77]

Forgiveness Interventions: Children

There has been some research within the last decade outlining some studies that have looked at the
effectiveness of forgiveness interventions on young children. There have also been several studies
done studying this cross culturally.[77] One study that explored this relationship, was a study
conducted in 2009 by Eadaoin Hui and Tat Sing Chau. In this study, Hui and Chau looked at the
relationship between forgiveness interventions and Chinese children who were less likely to forgive
those who had wronged them.[77] The findings of this study showed that there was an effect of
forgiveness interventions on the young Chinese children.[77]

Forgiveness and Health

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Survey data from 2000 showed that 61% of participants that were part of a small religious group
reported that the group helped them be more forgiving.[80] Individuals reported that their religion
groups which promote forgiveness was related to self-reports of success in overcoming addictions,
guilt, and perceiving encouragement when feeling discouraged.[80]

It is suggested that mindfulness plays a role in forgiveness and health.[81] The forgiveness of others
has a positive effect on physical health when it is combined with mindfulness but evidence shows
that forgiveness only effects health as a function of mindfulness.[81]

A study from 2005 states that self-forgiveness is an important part of self-acceptance and mental
health in later life.[82] The inability to self-forgive can compromise mental health.[82] For some
elderly people, self-forgiveness requires reflecting on a transgression to avoid repeating
wrongdoings, individuals seek to learn from these transgressions in order to improve their real
self-schemas.[82] When individuals are successful at learning from these transgressions, they may
experience improved mental health.[82]

A study in 2015 looks at how self-forgiveness can reduce feelings of guilt and shame associated
with hypersexual behaviour.[83] Hypersexual behaviour can have negative effects on individuals by
causing distress and life problems.[83] Self-forgiveness may be a component that can help
individuals reduce hypersexual negative behaviours that cause problems.[83]

Evidence shows that self-forgiveness and procrastination may be associated; self-forgiveness

allows the individual to overcome the negatives associated with an earlier behaviour and engage in
approach-oriented behaviours on a similar task.[84] Learning to forgive oneself for procrastination
can be positive because it can promote self-worth and may cause positive mental health.[84]
Self-forgiveness for procrastination may also reduce procrastination.[84]

Forgiveness and Physical Health

The correlation between forgiveness and physical health is a concept that has recently gained
traction in research. Some studies claim that there is no correlation, either positive or negative
between forgiveness and physical health, and others show a positive correlation.[85]

Evidence Supporting a Correlation

Individuals with forgiveness as a personality trait have been shown to have overall better physical
health. In a study on relationships, regardless if someone was in a negative or positive relationship,
their physical health seemed to be influenced at least partially by their level of forgiveness.[86]

Individuals who make a decision to genuinely forgive someone are also shown to have better
physical health. This is due to the relationship between forgiveness and stress reduction.
Forgiveness is seen as preventing poor physical health and managing poor physical health.[87]

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Specifically individuals who choose to forgive another after a transgression have lower blood
pressure and lower cortisol levels than those who do not. This is theorized to be due to various
direct and indirect influences of forgiveness, which point to forgiveness as an evolutionary trait.
See Broaden and Build Theory.[87]

Direct influences include: Reducing hostility (which is inversely correlated with physical health),
and the concept that unforgiveness may reduce the immune system because it puts stress on the
individual. Indirect influences are more related to forgiveness as a personality trait and include:
forgiving people may have more social support and less stressful marriages, and forgiveness may
be related to personality traits that are correlated with physical health.[87]

Forgiveness may also be correlated with physical health because hostility is associated with poor
coronary performance. Unforgiveness is as an act of hostility, and forgiveness as an act of letting go
of hostility. Heart patients who are treated with therapy that includes forgiveness to reduce hostility
have improved cardiac health compared to those who are treated with medicine alone.[85]

Forgiveness may also lead to better perceived physical health. This correlation applies to both
self-forgiveness and other-forgiveness but is especially true of self-forgiveness. Individuals who are
more capable of forgiving themselves have better perceived physical health.[88]

Criticisms

Forgiveness studies have been refuted by critics who claim that there is no direct correlation
between forgiveness and physical health. Forgiveness, due to the reduction of directed anger,
contributes to mental health and mental health contributes to physical health, but there is no
evidence that forgiveness directly improves physical health. Most of the studies on forgiveness
cannot isolate it as an independent variable in an individual's well-being, so it is difficult to prove
causation.[89]

Additionally, research into the correlation between physical health and forgiveness has been
criticized for being too focused on unforgiveness. Research shows more about what hostility and
unforgiveness contribute to poor health than it shows what forgiveness contributes to physical
health.[89]

Self-Forgiveness
Self-forgiveness happens in situations where an individual has done something that they perceive to
be morally wrong and they consider themselves to be responsible for the wrongdoing.[90]
Self-forgiveness is the overcoming of negative emotions that the wrongdoer associates with the
wrongful action.[90] Negative emotions associated with wrongful action can include guilt, regret,
remorse, blame, shame, self-hatred and/or self-contempt.[90]

Major life events that include trauma can cause individuals to experience feelings of guilt or

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self-hatred.[91] Humans have the ability to reflect on their behaviours to determine if their actions
are moral.[91] In situations of trauma, humans can choose to self-forgive by allowing themselves to
change and live a moral life.[91] Self-forgiveness may be required in situations where the individual
hurt themselves or in situations where they hurt others. [91]

Therapeutic Model

Individuals can unintentionally cause harm or offence to one another in everyday life. It is
important for individuals to be able to recognize when this happens, and in the process of making
amends, have the ability to self-forgive.[92] Specific research suggests that the ability to genuinely
forgive one's self can be significantly beneficial to an individual's emotional as well as mental
well-being.[93] The research indicates that the ability to forgive one's self for past offences can lead
to decreased feelings of negative emotions such as shame and guilt, and can increase the use of
more positive practices such as self-kindness and self-compassion.[93] However, it has been
indicated that it is possible for the process of self-forgiveness to be misinterpreted and therefore not
accurately completed.[92] This could potentially lead to increased feelings of regret or
self-blame.[93] In an attempt to avoid this, and increase the positive benefits associated with
genuine self-forgiveness, a specific therapeutic model of self-forgiveness has been recommended,
which can be used to encourage genuine self-forgiveness in offenders. The model that has been
proposed has four key elements. These elements include responsibility, remorse, restoration and
renewal.[93]

1. The therapeutic model suggests responsibility as the first necessary step towards genuine
self-forgiveness.[93] Research advises that in order to avoid the negative affect associated with
emotions such as overwhelming guilt or regret, offenders must first recognize that they have
hurt another individual, and accept the responsibility necessary for their actions.[92][93]
2. Once the individual has accepted responsibility for their offences, it is natural for them to
experience feelings of remorse or guilt. However, these feelings can be genuinely processed
and expressed preceding the need for restoration.[93]
3. The act of restoration allows the offending individual to make the necessary amends to the
individual(s) they have hurt.
4. The final component in the model of self-forgiveness is renewal. The offending individual is
able to genuinely forgive themselves for their past transgressions and can engage in more
positive and meaningful behaviors such as self-compassion and self-kindness.[93]

Despite the suggested model, research advises that the process of self-forgiveness is not always
applicable for every individual.[93] For example, individuals who have not actually caused others
any harm or wrongdoing, but instead are suffering from negative emotions such as self-hatred or
self-pity, such as victims of assault, might attempt self-forgiveness for their perceived offences.
However, this would not be the process necessary for them to make their amends.[93] Additionally,
offenders who continue to offend others while attempting to forgive themselves for past offences
demonstrate a reluctance to genuinely complete the four stages necessary for self-forgiveness.[93]

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Research suggests that it is important to first gather exterior information about the individual's
perceived offences as well as their needs and motivation for self-forgiveness.[93]

See also
A Course in Miracles Wikiquote has
Anantarika-karma quotations related to:
Clementia, Roman goddess of forgiveness (and Eleos, her Forgiveness
Greek counterpart)
Compassion
Contrition
Ethics in religion
Ho'oponopono
Letter of Reconciliation of the Polish Bishops to the German Bishops
Pardon
Regret
Relational transgressions
Remorse
Repentance
Truth and Reconciliation Commission
Unconditional love

Notes
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Archived from the original (PDF) on 2011-06-26. Retrieved 2009-02-07.
2. What Is Forgiveness? (http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/forgiveness/definition) The Greater Good
Science Center, University of California, Berkeley
3. DEBT FORGIVENESS (http://stats.oecd.org/glossary/detail.asp?ID=555) OECD, Glossary of
Statistical Terms (2001)
4. Loan Forgiveness (http://studentaid.ed.gov/repay-loans/forgiveness-cancellation/charts/public-service)
Glossary, US Department of Education
5. Graham, Michael C. (2014). Facts of Life: ten issues of contentment. Outskirts Press. p. 268.
ISBN 978-1-4787-2259-5.
6. "Benot Guillou, Le pardon est-il durable ? Une enqute au Rwanda, Paris, Franois Bourin". 2014.
Archived from the original on 2014.
7. Cordova, J., Cautilli, J., Simon, C. & Axelrod-Sabtig, R (2006). Behavior Analysis of Forgiveness in
Couples Therapy. IJBCT, 2(2), Pg. 192 BAO (http://www.behavior-analyst-online.org)
8. Dr. Robert Enright, Forgiveness is a Choice, American Psychological Association, 2001 ISBN
1-55798-757-2
9. Maltby, J., Wood, A. M., Day, L., Kon, T. W. H., Colley, A., and Linley, P. A. (2008). Personality
predictors of levels of forgiveness two and a half years after the transgression.
(http://personalpages.manchester.ac.uk/staff/alex.wood/forgiveness.pdf) Journal of Research in
Personality, 42, 1088-1094.

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10. "Forgiving (Campaign for Forgiveness Research)". 2006. Retrieved 2006-06-19.

11. Van Oyen, C. Witvilet, T.E. Ludwig and K. L. Vander Lann, "Granting Forgiveness or Harboring
Grudges: Implications for Emotions, Physiology and Health," Psychological Science no. 12
(2001):117-23
12. S. Sarinopoulos, "Forgiveness and Physical Health: A Doctoral Dissertation Summary," World of
Forgiveness no. 2 (2000): 16-18
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15. Fred Luskin, Ph.D. Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness (Harper, 2002)
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35. Faruqi, S. S. (2005), The Malaysian constitution, the Islamic state and Hudud laws, Islam in Southeast
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Grubbs, Joshua; Penberthy, J. Kim; Bedics, Jamie D. (2015-01-02). "Self-Forgiveness and Hypersexual
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84. Wohl, Michael J.A.; Pychyl, Timothy A.; Bennett, Shannon H. (2010-01-01). "I forgive myself, now I
can study: How self-forgiveness for procrastinating can reduce future procrastination". Personality and
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85. McCullough, Michael, and Charlotte Vanoyen. "The Psychology of Forgiveness." Handbook of Positive
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87. Worthington, Everett L.; Scherer, Michael (2004). "Forgiveness Is an Emotion-focused Coping Strategy
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88. Wilson, T.; Milosevic, A.; Carroll, M.; Hart, K.; Hibbard, S. (2008). "Physical Health Status in Relation
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References
Balancing the Scales of Justices with Forgiveness and
Wikimedia Commons
Repentance, Randall J. Cecrle, 2007, ISBN 1-60266-041-7
has media related to
The Power of Forgiveness, Marcus G. 2011, Sapients.Net
Forgiveness.
Radical Forgiveness: Making Room for the Miracle, Colin
Tipping, 1997, ISBN 0-9704814-1-1
Forgiving and Not Forgiving: Why Sometimes It's Better Not to Forgive, Jeanne Safer, 2000, ISBN
0-380-79471-3
Forgiveness: a Philosophical Exploration (Cambridge University Press, 2007), by Charles Griswold.
ISBN 978-0-521-70351-2.
Hein, David. "Regrets Only: A Theology of Remorse." The Anglican 33, no. 4 (October 2004): 5-6.
Hein, David (2007). "Austin Farrer on Justification and Sanctification". The Anglican Digest. 49 (1):
5154.
Konstan, David, Before Forgiveness: The Origins of a Moral Idea (Cambridge/New York: Cambridge
University Press, 2010).
Kramer, J. and Alstad D., The Guru Papers: Masks of Authoritarian Power, 1993, ISBN 1-883319-00-5

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Forgiveness - Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forgiveness

Lampert, K.(2005); Traditions of Compassion: From Religious Duty to Social Activism. Palgrave-
Macmillan; ISBN 1-4039-8527-8
Fred Luskin, Ph.D. Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness (Harper, 2002)
Murphy, J. and Hampton, J. Forgiveness and Mercy (Cambridge University Press, 1988).
Norlock, K. Forgiveness from a Feminist Perspective (Lexington Books, 2009).
Pettigrove, G. Forgiveness and Love (Oxford University Press, 2012).
Schmidt D. (2003); The Prayer of Revenge: Forgiveness in the Face of Injustice; ISBN 0-7814-3942-6
Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life, Susan Forward, 1990.
The Railway Man: A POW's Searing Account of War, Brutality, and Forgiveness, Eric Lomax,

External links
Forgiveness (http://dmoztools.net//Society/Relationships Look up forgiveness in
/Forgiveness/) at DMOZ Wiktionary, the free
Mindgarden.com (http://www.mindgarden.com/products dictionary.
/efins.htm) The Enright Forgiveness Inventory for
Research

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