Impossible Expectations: Research Paper

Melissa Corduan

Young women today are in a very difficult situation. Battling to meet

expectations promoted by the media, many of them are at a complete loss

when it comes to identity, self-awareness, and confidence. In the book

Hunger Pains, Psychologist Mary Pipher explains that We are living in a

culture that promotes a monolithic, relentless ideal of beauty that is quite

literally just short of starvation for most women. (4) She recalls a

conversation with a young female client who said to her, In this society you

have to be pretty first, then you can think about having character, being

smart, and achieving things. If you aren't pretty, nothing else matters. (2)

This heartbreaking statement represents the perspective of far too many

young women around America. How are they going to find their identity and

voice in the midst of striving for the impossible? Implementing female

support groups for junior high and high school students will help bring them

together, discourage bullying, and encourage new friendships.

In 2007, I worked as a billing assistant for an eating disorder treatment

facility. At one point, I witnessed a teenage girl trying desperately to block

food from entering the medical feeding tube that was inserted into her

stomach. She was about five foot six and less than ninety pounds. Her eyes

held a blank stare, and her apparent lack of energy was noticeable as she

went about her daily routine. She had a pretty smile, though it was obviously
forced. On many occasions, she was caught purging food from the very tube

that was keeping her alive. This girl was literally starving to death, but could

not handle the possibility of gaining weight. Day after day, she dressed

herself in pretty clothes, applied makeup, and curled her hair so that she

would look beautiful. About once per week, she was rushed to the hospital

in critical condition. She cared more about being thin than she did about her

life.

A report from Marcela Rojas in USA today News states that:

Eating disorders which include anorexia nervosa,

bulimia nervosa and binge eating are a complex

set of illnesses caused by genetic, biological,

behavioral, psychological and social factors. These

disorders have the highest mortality rate of any

psychiatric illness. Anorexia, in particular, has a

mortality rate 12 times higher than any other cause

of death in women ages 15 to 24.

This problem with eating disorders is serious and continuing to grow. Social

media and peer pressure amplify the insecurity felt by these girls about the

way they look and lead them to take drastic measures in an attempt to be

thin.

Physical appearance is top priority for many girls and young women. The

drive towards perfection prevents them from ever being content with the

way they are. In an article titled Women Are Judged on Their Appearance
Rather than on Their Competence , Natasha Walter shares that The

emphasis on presenting oneself as physically perfect has an impact on

women throughout society. While discussing an interview she had with a

group of female college students, she stated I was constantly struck by the

way that they were aware of how their boyfriends' expectations of sex would

have been formed by pornography and their expectations of women's

appearance by the airbrushed standards of current magazine and celebrity

culture. Though they were succeeding in college, these girls did not feel

that they were enough without looking perfect and being willing to act out

sexual fantasies for the men they were with. In an article in Muse Feminist

Magazine, Laura Egendorf states that (sexist advertisements cause)

unrealistic expectations of women's bodies and resulting body image

problems, sexual and domestic violence, and sexism being reinforced as an

acceptable form of behaviour. There lies the struggle for women in America.

While these girls trudge on through this uphill battle towards finding

perfection, they create an emotional downhill slope which allows their

confidence to slide away as continued failure remains eminent.

For many of these teens striving to find their place in the world, entering

junior high and high school increases the difficulty. They are faced with

gossip, name calling, bullying, peer pressure, and even sexual harassment.

In recent years, the sexting epidemic creates even more potential for

disaster. Many teens who sext, are pressured into sending nude photos by

a boy they like who in turn sends the photos to others throughout the school,
ruining the reputation and confidence of the girl who sent them. Reporter

Andrew Meacham wrote an article on the dangers of this epidemic and

shares Hope Witsell, a teenager and middle school student, killed herself

after an image of her topless, sent to one boy only, was forwarded to many

others, exposing her to nasty bullying and harassment in school. Hope was

thirteen years old and a successful student. She had no idea that the photo

she sent would ultimately drive her to suicide.

Another problem these girls face is the role models they see on

television, in magazines, and online. As quite possibly the most worshiped

celebrity of this generation of students, Miley Cyrus promotes drug use,

sexual promiscuity, and the exploitation of the female body for attention.

When asked for advice by a fan, Katy Perry attributes her success to selling

her soul to the devil. Lindsay Lohan holds on to her fame through continuous

arrests and drug overdoses. Kim Kardashian is a compulsive shopper, twice

divorced, uneducated, and has not worked a day in her life. Rihannas

primarily twelve to thirteen year old fans are listening to songs such as

S&M which contain the lyrics: Cause I may be bad. But I'm perfectly good

at it. Sex in the air. I don't care. I love the smell of it. Sticks and stones may

break my bones, but chains and whips excite me. These are the women

that todays teens look up to.

My personal experience as a junior high and high school student is what

drives my desire to help. My teen years were incredibly difficult, and school

was a painful experience. I dealt with being called names, bullied, sexually
harassed, and humiliated. Entering a private school after being

homeschooled during my elementary years, I had no idea what to expect. I

was excited and optimistic about making friends and meeting boys.

However, I was not like the other girls. My previous group of friends, which

consisted mostly of family members, led me to be loyal, honest, and

straightforward. I considered gossip to be an awful thing, and refused to

participate in it. I did not understand that lying was expected to make

another girl feel better about a bad haircut or ugly outfit. When something

seemed wrong to me, I spoke my mind and others did not want to hear it. I

had no idea that entering an innocent relationship with a boy in my class

would earn me the title of slut that would stick with me through the rest of

my school years. I was lost and confused during these years and for the most

part, completely friendless. I became incredibly insecure, and believed

something was wrong with me.

Something needs to be done to help todays teens find self-confidence,

self-respect, and self-identity. Too many of these girls focus their lives on

trying to be who they think they should be rather than accepting themselves

for who they are. By implementing a female support group into the class

schedules of junior high and high school students, these girls could get to

know one another, find their strengths, discuss their concerns, and get help.

Many schools have begun to implement a program called Girl Talk. This

program was created to provide older female mentors for the younger

students. According to Girltalk.org,

 There are many wonderful organizations working to

combat a range of issues affecting teens, including

eating disorders, bullying, suicide, and depression.

we believe that by providing the mentorship of older

high school girls in an environment where girls can

talk about their concerns, insecurities, and difficulties

with their peers without fear of judgment,

misunderstanding, or malice, we can stop many of

these issues before they start.

A program like this could work for any age level. Junior high students can

mentor elementary students, high school students can mentor junior high

students, and school alumni and local college students can mentor high

school students.

Left without help, many of todays female youth will continue down a
hopeless path.
Millions of girls will face depression, self-hatred and insecurity. They will
strive to live up
to impossible expectations, and they will fail. They will resort to eating
disorders, sexual
promiscuity, alcohol or drugs. Thousands of American teens will decide that
suicide is their
only way out. During this pivotal time in their lives, a group that provides
support,
encouragement, and the opportunity to find friends could be a life changing
experience.