Christopher Von Keyserling: Real Life Super Villain

By Carrie Pinkard

Youve heard of Van Helsing, the famous slayer of vampires? Well now
we have Von Keyserling, slayer of political correctness and womens
genitalia.

I love this new world, I no longer have to be politically correct, said

71 year old Republican Christopher Von Keyserling to a woman just minutes
before entering her office and grabbing her groin. The incident occurred on
December 8th in Greenwich, Connecticut. Von Keyesrling Keyserling and a 58
year old government employee allegedly got into a small argument, after
which Von Keyserling came into her office and sexually assaulted her. He told
the rest of the office that the pinch to the womans groin was a playful
joke. He felt like he was entitled to grab her because he no longer has to
be politically correct.

Ever since Donald Trump started his campaign in 2015, conservative

Americans have been obsessed with ending political correctness, equating
political correctness withto being the biggest plague in American society.
Lets examine what the term politically correct really means for a moment.
Synonyms for political correctness include; unbiased, neutral, and
appropriate. The antonym for political correctness is: offensive. So,
according to conservative America, and our newly elected president, the
biggest plague in this country is people being TOO unbiased, neutral, and
appropriate. Essentially, Donald Trump and his cronies want an America that
doesnt care so much about being politically correct. In other words, an
America that doesnt care so much about being offensive.

Unfortunately, the people who are typically hurt by a lack of political

correctness are not billionaire white businessmen. Instead they are
minorities, people in the LGBT community, and as highlighted in this case:
women.

We as a nation heard a man brag about sexually assaulting women in

his own words. And wWe as a nation still elected him to be our president. The
consequences of this decision are yet to be seen in their full form, as Donald
Trump has yet to take office. However, if you think electing a man to the
highest position in the world who speaks about women as if theyre objects
wont have an effect on the way women are treated in this country, youre
mistaken. We elected a man who stated, you can do anything to women
grab them by the pussy. You can do anything, and then a few months after
the Trump tape was released, we have a man arrested for listening to the
president elect and grabbing a womans genitals. People in positions of
power have a great deal of influence over the general populace. The way
that Donald Trump treats certain groups of people in the coming years of his
presidency will invariably effect the way that Americans treat those groups of
people.

Political correctness isnt our enemy here in America. People like Von
Keyserling are our enemies here in America. People who take whatever they
want from others, people who disrespect other Americans because of their
race or gender, and people who blindly blame political correctness for
problems that dont exist. Those people are the enemies to American values.
Over the coming years of the Trump presidency, lets try to be even more
politically correct than usual. Lets try to be so unbiased and appropriate to
each other that people like Trump and Von Keyserling weep over how weak
our country has become.