Change Your Mind With EFT PDF

Change
Your Mind!
with EFT
The
Emotional Freedom Techniques
Use this fast, easy system to move

from pain, fear, illness & anger
to joy, health, freedom, and success
by Angela Treat Lyon, EFT C-C

Change YourMind! with EFT
The cause of all negative emotions is a disruption in the bodys energy system.
Home
to
Aaron and Isaac
with all my love - every inch of it -
You are the best -
you are my rising stars.
Change
Your Mind! with EFT
the Emotional Freedom Techniques
by Angela Treat Lyon, EFT C-C
author of
Change Your Mind! with EFT: The Illustrated Basic EFT Tapping Points plus Advanced Tapping Points
and delightful The REAL Money Secrets Book: see TheRealMoneySecrets.com
Second Edition
EFT was originated by Gary Craig. In this book, Ive used his Basic Recipe and Setup phraseology,
Dr. Patricia Carringtons idea of adding choices to Garys original Setup phrases,
and Michelle Hardwicks Prosperity Phrasing combined with a Temporal Tap sequence.
other great EFT resources:
Gary Craig: www.emofree.com
Dr. Patricia Carrington: www.eftsupport.com
Michelle Hardwick: www.hypnosistherapy.co.nz
PLEASE NOTE: the Advanced Points are not part of Gary Craigs Basic EFT Course,
but are additional points I learned from acupuncture practitioners
Publisher of this E-Book: Behind the Seens Publishing

641 Paopua Lp Kailua, Hawaii 96734 USA
Text by Lyon & All illustrations Lyon 2002, protected by International Copyright Laws
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or
transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or
otherwise, without written permission from the author.
Lyon@Lyon-Art.com see more Lyon Artwork at: www.Lyon-Art.com

REMEMBER THIS:
The cause of all negative emotions is
a disruption in the bodys energy system.
Gary Craig
Originator of EFT
contents
1*
Introduction ............................................ 6
What is EFT? ......................................... 11
2 Letter to Gary .......................................... 16
3 The Idea ............................................... 23
4 Jumping Right In ................................... 29
5 Illustrations of Tapping Spots .................... 35
6 Steps in Successful Navigation ................... 42
7 Questions ............................................. 46
8 Defining the Problem .............................. 62
9 Psychological Reversal .............................. 81
10 Taking Apart the Sequence ....................... 88
11 I Accept Myself Phrase ............................ 96
12 I Choose!/Dreaming .............................. 106
13 Aspects/Persistance ................................. 125
14 Chasing the Pain .................................... 136
15 Surrogate and Silent Tapping .................... 144
16 Tapping for the Physical .......................... 155
17 Make A Movie! ..................................... 185
18 Enlightenment, Prosperity, Creating ........... 195
19 Illustrations of More Tapping Spots ........... 213
20 Adios and Aloha .................................... 221
Change Your Mind

Introduction
By the time you get to the end of this book, you will have learned how to use
the Emotional Freedom Techniques to vastly improve your life.
energy reclamation!
Instead of losing energy because of old or outmoded belief systems, emotions, values,
actions and reactions, imagine being able to redirect your energy towards a life you much
prefer! Imagine being able to re-choose what you want for your life! EFT can help you
make that happen.
I would like you to know EFT so you can be among the thousands of people world-wide
who have gotten free from all kinds of pain and upset. learn how to use it on a regular basis
to make your life just the way you want it. Learn how easy, fast, powerfully efficient and
effective it is, and how you can use it not only for yourself, but others you care about.
EFT was initiated by Gary Craig, a Stanford engineer who learned about energy work
from Thought Field Therapy founder, Dr. Roger Callahan. Being a true engineer, Gary took
Dr. callahans complex system and simplified it into what is now called EFT, the Emotional
Freedom Techniques, today.
I guess Im a walking billboard for EFT - its helped me bring about such real, radical and
lasting positive change in my own life. I made the decision to change my mind: about my
beliefs, ideas, and values, emotions - about my whole life. My students and I have made
fast, easy and dynamic changes in our lives since we started using EFT. Change your mind.
Learn EFT Create a better life for yourself.
If we can, why cant you?
i
me/why this book?

Im an artist. I specialize in oil painting, stone sculpture, writing and illustrating books, and
animation. I love it the most when people tell me my work lights up their life. Thats about
as good a motivating factor as any I can think of, and makes my day every time I hear it.
Right alongside my passion for art, Ive had a life-long interest in alternative healing. Over
about a 30-year period Ive trained in many systems and traditions right along with my
continued, very extensive training in the visual arts.
When I found Gary Craigs website, it was easy to see EFTs tremendous potential for
self-healing. I devoured all the information I could get and started using it on myself.
After a very short time, I had some incredible results. I wrote Gary an email detailing
some of the experiences I had had as a result of having used EFT. Gary put my email in his
internet newsletter, and I had emails from all over the world in response.
One of these was from Dr. Patricia Carrington, an accomplished therapist who uses EFT
in her practice in the USA. Shes the one who initiated the use of the Choices statement,
which you will see used in this book. She liked the way I wrote, and told me she thought I
should write a book on EFT.
yikes!
I went through a number of reactions to the idea - scared, shy, etc.: it would be my first
public book. But people have told me time and again, Angela, your life has been so
amazing! You should write a book!
Its true: my life has been a bit out of the ordinary, but up until now, I couldnt for the life
of me think of what I wanted to write. It would have to be something that would get me
all fired up and excited. There are enough art books out there already - that wasnt what I
wanted to write about. I didnt want to write kids books, although it would be fun to illus-
trate one. But nothing else came to mind, so I had always put the idea away.
I never put 2 and 2 together to see that I could write on the very things that have plagued/
gifted me throughout my life, the ideas and issues that I am intensely interested in: living
artfully, doing my best to live my potential, getting a handle on emotions and manifesta-
tion, expanding and refining my own consciousness, health and well-being.
So I decided to write a manual for EFT users, since, to me, EFT provides the key I was
looking for. Its all well and good to think about or know about The Workings of the
ii
Universe, Quantum Physics and the theories behind it, that the Universe is One and all
that. But just exactly how do we go about using all that information in a daily, practical
way?
EFT helps us do just that, and this is a book that will explain how.
EFT is hands-down the easiest, fastest, simplest, most consistently effective tool I have ever
used in my quest to improve my life. Not only does it work on what I dont like about my
life, I can use it to improve my life as well. Its a simple, elegant, amazing tool. I know that
once you start using it, you will find it as indispensable as I do.
focusing on blocks
Ive noticed that the bulk of writing about energy therapies deal mostly with releasing pain,
getting relief from this or that upset, handling blocks, limitations and restrictions. Thats
obviously a very good place to start - if I have a two-ton block of stone sitting in front of
my studio door, its going to be hard to get in, much less paint. Gotta remove that block.
Down the line, major blocks and impediments are transformed into neutral energy. Once
the blocks are gone, why keep focusing on them? Why not start focusing on what we would
prefer to build and maintain? Empower ourselves and create a different experience for our-
selves? We can use EFT to do all of that.
So in this book you will read about energy; about intent, awareness, and attention;
about using EFT to not only clear disrupted energy from our systems, but also creating,
en-enhancing and expanding ones life from an exciting new place of wholeness.
privacy
For the sake of privacy, I have changed the names of folks whose sessions I have recorded
here. Some sessions have similar aspects, so I have sometimes compounded them into one.
One person I will freely name here, though, is Freda, my housemate, my dear friend and
ally. I spent a year and a half in Gore, New Zealand as Artist-in-Residence and Life Coach.
Thats where I wrote this book. Without Freda, with whom I stayed the entire time, I could
never possibly have had the great experience I did have. Such a kind, intelligent and loyal
friend one would be lucky to find once in a million years. Isnt it amazing that someone will
actually put up with you day after day of your hiding out in your room, writing? Thank
you, Freda!
details
The Great Scientific Discourses about the Hows and Whys of Healing and the Nature of
the Universe will have to fall to the more detail oriented scientists and prove-it people to
do: Im someone who explores different territories and comes back to tell you what Ive
found. A hands-on personal explorer, dream-holder or torch bearer. So this book is written
in a very informal fashion, just as if you are sitting right here with me.
experts?
Ive read many many books by so-called experts on many subjects. I have tried their tech-
niques, systems, and methods, with wildly various results. Since life really is a subjective
experience, with one mans help being anothers pain, I begin to wonder if there really is
such a thing as an expert.
Perhaps it might be more responsible to say someone has Great Expertise at something.
Even Gary Craig, who initiated EFT, and has done thousands of sessions on himself and
with other people, still refuses to call himself an expert. Such humility from such an extra-
ordinary guy! Would that all of us could be so.
a disclaimer
In that light, I want to say that I am not an expert at EFT. I have expertise in a lot of things.
I am an expert as regards my own feelings, my own depression. I am not an expert as to yours
or anyone elses, and dont care to claim that I am. So know that this is written from the point
of view of an ordinary person who has found an extraordinary tool; who has used it on herself
and with others with magnificent results that are possible for you, as well.
I am an artist, writer, minister, life coach/performance/success coach and counselor - not a

physician, psychiatrist, psychotherapist, or physical therapist. My interest in EFT is in using
it for myself and teaching it to others so they can use it, too.
I care about the quality of my life, your life, and life in general. As such, I do my best to
to do my best. Please note that I will never advise you to stop working with your present
health professional, or to use EFT as a replacement for your physician or therapist. EFT is
a very exciting tool, and I urge you to introduce your health care-giver to EFT! More and
more professional health-care providers are using it - why not yours, too?
If you are presently taking prescribed medication and/or working with a health professional
of any kind, please keep on doing so. Only stop or modify your work with them when you
both decide that it is appropriate to do so.
recycle!
Some of us have mountains of pain. Some have little bits that hardly amount to a hill of
beans. No matter what the perceived amount of pain, or how many problems we might
have, I believe that every bit of the energy that goes into that pain can be transformed into
energy that is re-usable. Personal recycling! Its easy now, with EFT.
a request
Please be gentle with yourself using EFT. There are many reasons why we have phobias,
fears, blocks and obstacles. Sometimes they come along to ride with us in the front seat - in
certain parts of our past, we would have been in danger without them. We live with them
serving us in some way, sometimes, for very long times. When they become inappropriate
and when we cant bear them anymore, we seek help. Use EFT to neutralize old pain, and
take good care of you as you do so. Remember to dream up and choose a life youd prefer to
have - and focus on that, as you go along.
Avoid being in a rush. EFT is help. BIG help. In using this big help, be kind and gentle
with yourself. You deserve it.
Be honest with how you feel Right Now, yet be Exquisitely Gentle with yourself as you
take yourself through your process. Thats not to say you have to be a namby-pamby nice-
nice person as you move through your issues - scream yell and rant and rage if you like! But
please, make sure you do it so no-one, including yourself, gets hurt.
EFT is intentionally designed to be as

easy and pain-free as possible.
Let it be!
The old no-pain-no-gain idea is out!
So. Here it is. I hope you enjoy the book and get a lot out of it.
Angela Treat Lyon

Gore, New Zealand 2003
What is EFT?
Chapter One
Remember this statement, because it is the basis of everything in this book:

Gary Craig Founder of the Emotional Freedom Techniques
what is eft?
EFT is a short, easily memorizable process for making dynamic, positive
change in our lives.
It is is based on the premise that the cause of all negative emotions is a disruption in
the bodys energy system. Its a combination of simple verbal statements along with the
stimulation of specific energetic points on the body (points also used in acupuncture).
This stimulation dislodges and dispels unwanted, disrupted energy, and allows our bodies
natural energy flow to once again resume in a natural way.
who can use it?

EFT can be used by, on or for adults, children, babies, plants and animals, both tame and
wild, near and far. We can use it on ourselves, friends, family, business associates and clients.
We stimulate points on the meridians of the body, the mind/body system, as we focus on,
or tune in to, problems, issues or choices. During this process, the energy that has been
tangled up within us is released and flows freely.
EFT is almost too simple. Its a process that is elegant, dynamic and effective. In its
combination of psychology and energy, EFT can be used to address problems in just about
any area of our lives: physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, relational, financial, sexual,
recreational, and more.
body/mind
Just as wave and particle, explicit and implicit, are two aspects of the same thing, manifest
and unmanifest, body and mind are two aspects of the same thing.
separate units
In the past, it was assumed that the mind and the body were separate units. No-one was
really sure where the mind was. In the early 14 and 15th centuries, it was common knowl-
edge that the mind was in the belly. In other times and various cultures, the mind was
believed to reside in the heart or the liver, even outside of our bodies. Now it is more widely
recognized that each of us is an integrated body/mind/spirit system.
It is also recognized that the energy in the body plays a massively important role in our
physical/mental/emotional makeup.
Mental and emotional blockages can impede physical functioning.
Physical and emotional blockages can impede mental functioning.
Physical and mental blockages can impede emotional functioning.
What it all boils down to is that if there is

a blockage, or disruption, in the energy system,
whether physical, emotional, mental or spiritual,
our ability to live a full life will be impeded.
clues
If there is a blockage somewhere, it will come to the surface in one system or the other to
let us know there is something wrong. These are symptoms, clues, messages, red flags to
which we need to pay attention in order to 1) know there is a block, and 2) be able to clear
it away, and 3) choose something better.
The symptoms can vary immensely - from acne to cancer to a tickle in the throat, a pound-
ing heart, sweating, clammy palms, a headache or an itch. It can manifest as a fear of
heights, a phobia of spiders, water or open spaces. It can show up as a tendency to get cold,
to feel depressed, to fall asleep or fidget.
Now we can choose EFT to help us get as free from restriction, pain, discomfort, upset or
dissatisfaction as we can.
All any symptom means is that there is a disruption in the energy system
of the body. When we see any symptom, we then know there is a disruption.
eft CAN HELP expand EFT Relieves what?

specific health aspects Here is a partial list of some of the problems thou-
general health sands of people of all ages all over the world have
physical comfort gained relief from:
public speaking ability headache
sport performance abilities chronic pain
dance, singing, & other performance traumatic memories of:
ability to learn war, rape, abuse or molestation
self-esteem fears and phobias
depression
improvement for people in permanently limiting beliefs, emotions or habits
compromised physical, mental or emotional states anger, rage, tension
weight gain/weight loss
improved ability to nail-biting
communication - for anxiety and despair
relationships of all kinds fear of public speaking
performance anxiety
the ability to receive and chronic negative attitude
create prosperity self-doubt and self-hatred
confusion and foggy mind
the ability to handle and increase money all kinds of cravings and addictions
improve business many kinds of physical illness
and much more. nightmares; fear of dentistry
big/small
Using EFT, we can rapidly clear blockages from our energy systems, producing greater com-
fort, peace and pleasure in our lives. The disruption can be miniscule, simple, enormous or
complex. EFT can be used to address any of them. Notice I say address. As far as I
know at this writing, no-one at this point claims to have had 100% success with clearing all
problems with EFT. Maybe one day we will.
As EFT practitioners, we are encouraged to say that EFTs success rate has been very
conservatively estimated at 20 to 60%. However, in my own use of EFT, Ive experienced a
very much higher rate than that - more like 95% - using EFT on myself, and on clients and
groups. This is about what most EFT practitioners who use it professionally say, as well.
EFT enables us to clear blockages from our energy systems. This clearing results in the
bodys ability to return as far as possible to its natural state of ease and health.
Remember: whatever the symptom,

it simply indicates a disruption
in the energy system of the body.
Who can benefit from EFT? Adults, children, babies, plants and animals, both tame and
wild, near and far.
Have a load of fun while youre at it - remember that this isnt a dress rehearsal - this is
LIFE! Make it as good as you can while you can!
This exploration with EFT is a journey, a great experiment! We have a good idea what it is
capable of, yet there is so much more we still have to learn. Use EFT on everything, and see
what results you can get!
Fear or upset can produce

yuk tangles in your bodys energy
system. When the energy
system is tangled up, you feel
limited in movement or ability,
blocked, or any number of other
unwanted or
unpleasant sensations
or situations.
By simply tapping on some

specific points on the
body as we state specific
phrases, our energy can start
to flow freely again, and the unpleasant or
ahhh! unwanted feelings dissipate.
Now that the

energy in your body
is flowing freely,
you can -
and do -
feel good again!
5
The Letter
That Started It All
Chapter two
an email
This is the letter I sent to Gary Craig, telling him what I had experienced with
my first uses of EFT.When I sent it, I had no intention that anyone else would
ever read it!
I assumed that he had so much correspondence that hed probably take ten years to get to
even read it, and that would be that when he did. I had no idea that he was as up on his
correspondence as he is.
He called me within a couple days of my sending it! Since I wasnt in, he left a message
asking my permission to use my email in his website newsletter! Imagine my surprise to
find a message from him left for me!
It was 11 at night, his time, when I called him back. He was a little groggy, about to fall
asleep. I had thought it was 10, late but acceptable, in my book. I realized as soon as I
heard his voice that it was too late. Uh-oh. Oh well, here we go, I thought. We talked for
a couple minutes, then signed off. In that brief few words, he hit on something that shook
my tree big time.
a newbie!
He asked me how long I had been using EFT. I told him, only a month or so. Oh, he said,
youre a newbie!
Being where I was at that point in my life, I took that comment as a derisive remark. That
I wasnt good enough, that I was only a newbie. I didnt get it right away that those were
my own inner critical voices. And that, in order to feel better, all I had to do was tap on
what I had heard. I felt insulted, and took what he said personally. I was therefore surprised
when I saw my email on his site.
Here it is (and I have long-since tapped on taking things personally!). You will read more
later on in this book about the writing on our walls, or personal scripting.
Newbie uses EFT on depression, allergic

reactions and more
Hi Everyone,
In recent times I have been corresponding with Angela Treat Lyon, an EFT
newbie from New Zealand. As you can tell from her letter below, she has been
diligently using EFT on herself with remarkable success on a wide variety of
issues.
At the end she details some of her healthy self-realizations which, of course, are
typical of the cognitive shifts and belief changes that come about with EFT.
This letter should be particularly useful for EFTers to give to skeptical new-
bies. It provides impressive evidence of EFTs possibilities and carries addition-
al weight because it comes from another newbie - a peer, if you will.
Hugs, Gary Craig
My letter to Gary
Gary - August 2002
First I want to say how grateful I am that

you have found (evolved, discovered, hit upon - ???) the EFT process. It has been an abso-
lutely amazing journey over the past month that I have been using the technique - I can tell
you my life has changed so radically it blows me away - my attitude is so great even I notice
it! After almost 40 years of depression thats a big one -
Anyway -
training background
Im an American artist living in New Zealand, currently in the position of Artist in
Residence for Gores public Art Gallery. Ive spent a lifetime in the realm of art, developing
sculpture and painting to the point that I finally can say something of what I feel through
them.
I am also an ordained minister and life coach, and I have trained in the metaphysical and
healing arts, from rebirthing and past life regression to hypnotherapy, Druid Dreaming and
channeling to Philipino psychic surgery, esoteric HUNA and other ethnic studies; Reiki,
Holographic Repatterning, Brain Balancing and Neural Integration, NLP, the Avatar
courses, as well as various communication and mediation skills and systems.
eft is awesome!
I mention all this in order to say that, in all my life, with all the various discipline and
modalities I have studied, esoteric or not, EFT is the one technique I have gotten the very
most out of in the very shortest time. I am awestruck. So I thought Id write and tell you
about a few very striking breakthroughs I have experienced in only the past 3 weeks -
the dentist
1) Ive had some of the most horrendous experiences at the dentist - from experiencing
the shock of having had the wrong tooth pulled out to multiple root canals done all at
once with ineffective novacain, to sexual molestation in the chair when I was a young teen.
Needless to say, its been a bit of a struggle to get myself to the dentist for anything at all.
I lost a filling 2 years ago - I finally made up my mind to have it taken care of last week.
Thats how bad it was - I just DID NOT want to go.
I couldnt get to sleep the night before I was to go - lying in bed sweating, heart beating,
not able to breathe - in such a state of panic, in fact, that I forgot about EFT, which I had
been assiduously applying to every other aspect of my life for the last 3 weeks since I had
learned about it.
Finally, at 3 a.m., my mind cleared enough that I remembered EFT, and I did about five
rounds of even though....s: I cant remember what to say, I dont know what to say, Im
panicking, I cant sleep, and Im never safe in the world.
After that last one, which seemed like the core of the issue, I slept soundly and got up at 8
with no feeling of having lost hours of sleep and energy to panic whatsoever.
intention
Everything went well until he appeared with the Long Needle. My heart flew out of my
mouth and ran out down the street, with my mind right after it - I was a quivering blob of
jelly in the chair, mindless and feeling like I was about to die.
All my being knew was that here was a man who was traumatizing and attacking me, and I
was trapped in this chair. My mouth was frozen open with a constricted gag at the back of
my throat. My hands were so tight on the arms of the chair I was surprised I didnt break
them off.
BUT - this time I remembered there was something I could do, even though that was all I
knew - I once again couldnt remember what to do or say, and I thrashed about with what
was left of my mind until I finally, in desperation, said quite loudly (internally that is), I
cant remember what to say, YOU do it.
And it did. Whatever IT is, it did it. In 2 seconds flat, I was calm as could be, my mind was
back, serene and calm, and my heart had returned to its normal place within my chest, at a
normal heart rate. I was astounded. From that moment on, the rest of the visit was fine, no
more trauma, no more pain or perceived about-to-be pain. At all.
GC COMMENT: This is a first class example of doing EFT with intention only (no
tapping). This can be a very useful tool in some circumstances. Please note below the important
cognitive shift that accompanied this round of EFT.
ANGELA CONTINUES: And what is really cool is that the perceived trauma and attack
ideas were gone, replaced with a complete reframe, that this man is actually doing me a
service.
allergic reaction
2) Another experience concerns allergic reaction. I had a near-fatal bout with heavy metals,
starting 12 years ago, that took several years to work itself out. The cleansing process was
intense and very painful. It eventually included the purging of substances from
vaccinations and environmental poisons that I had been exposed to over the years, as well
as the metals (cadmium, mostly - I was told it was from second hand smoke - my parents
smoked like chimneys).
My kidneys took a beating, as did my liver and adrenals, and as a consequence, I still break
out in terrible rashes if I eat or even smell certain substances or foods (like tomatoes, pota-
toes, or wheat, modern perfumes, hairspray, enamel paints or gasoline fumes).
This time, I had had a little wheat that was in a soup a friend had made. In the middle of
the night I awoke to swollen, burning, histamine-filled, rash-covered hands. The rash itches
so terribly that they MUST be scratched or insanity is soon to follow. But then, if you
scratch enough to relieve it, it suddenly stings like crazy, even bleeds, and the next day the
hands and/or feet are swollen to the point of being balloons affixed to the ends of the arms,
useless and painful for a minimum of three days.
This time, remembering my dentist experience, I was prepared! I said, even though I am
having this reaction, I.... and so on - it only took about 6 rounds before I could actually feel
the swelling start to go down. I did about 10 rounds in all, covering some lingering stuff,
and the swelling went down, the itch completely subsided, and I went right back to sleep.
paint fumes
3) Today as I was painting our front door with enamel paint, the swelling and itching tried
to come, and I immediately started EFT by saying, even though Im painting with this
enamel paint and am afraid I will react, I .... and within about a minute it was gone.
This is such a fabulous thing. I cant tell you the hours I have spent dealing with hands and
feet too swollen to even think about using them, much less wanting to feel them. Hours
crying and frustrated and in pain. Having to avoid favorite foods, having to ask friends to
not to use wheat, sugar, dairy, etc. in any food they gave me. Having to avoid fumes and
paints and such. I even lost a friend because her perfume was so strong it literally made me
choke - I gagged every time I was around her. Bummer.
Having this amazing tool doesnt mean not be careful, by any means, but it does mean I can
deal with what comes to me. The feeling of helpless/hopeless has left, the life-long depres-
sion has almost gone, the hatred for my life is gone and there is a new horizon in front of
me where there was darkness and an angry, sad, constricted future before.
forgetting the process

When I first started using EFT, my mind was so foggy that I couldnt remember much of
the protocol past the first stage. Id get to the end of it, and then forget what I was doing.
Eventually I just did the chest-tap with the even-though statements. Finally I figured out
that I could tap for remembering the statements....!
That alone was enough - it got me present and dealing with Now, and it allowed me to go
deeper and deeper to get at the yeah-buts.
accepting myself
EFT has allowed me to really - REALLY - accept me. As I am, here and now, no-one elses
opinion matters. I had to fight with it - I didnt want to accept myself, I couldnt, I hated
myself, I hated myself hating myself, and so on - but at the end a wave of something light
and soft went through me and all that fight was gone. And the constant fogginess is being
replaced with clarity. That alone would be worth the whole thing. After years of people
telling me I ought to take drugs for the depression, now I can say Im so very glad I didnt.
Whats happening now is that when I get to the end of a hard issue, there is a new thing
that happens. Heres a good one to illustrate:
family pain
Tonight I was looking at how I have hidden out behind my artwork since I was a kid, and
realized it was that I felt unimportant to my family. I think I most likely started hiding
behind it to give myself something to do, something in which to be involved to be able to
say Im busy when I want to be left alone (and too hurt to ask for inclusion), and some-
thing to say hey look at this, arent I good? Arent I important to you? Dont you love me?
Hard to admit that to myself. When I realized that I was of no importance to them I cried
and cried. Then I tapped on it - only the chest points - I couldnt get myself to do the
full round - but it only took two rounds of even though I am devastated that I am of no
importance to my family to go from a 10 to a 0. At the end of the session I finally got
to the place where I could say, hey! Im bloody 56 years old! Do I REALLY NEED their
approval??????
freedom
Now heres what is new: when I got to zero, there was such a lightness and calm sense of
space and possibility inside and all around me that I lay there just feeling it.
It was an expansion, a fillingness, a lightness, a NEWness that I had never felt before. THIS
is what I have been waiting for - for how long?
THIS is what freedom is: a completely new awareness of self and possibility in self that had
never before existed for me, or been available, a brand new state of mind.
I believe it really is true what Harry Palmer, the creator of the Avatar course, says:
All possibilities of reality

exist simultaneously.
Imagine what we can be, do and have when we realize that we truly are creating our reality,
our experience, at every moment, at every choice.
Imagine how easy it really is to slip from one reality to the next, just by making the choice
to choose, to be present and to converse with what is happening inside ourselves at the very
moment we would ordinarily slip into Old Pattern. Awesome.
EFT is awesome. I bless you and thank you for it every day.
Love to you -
Angela Treat Lyon
P.S. A few days ago I did a setup that included Pat Carringtons choice statement setup -
even though I am experiencing a reaction

(I didnt know to what),
I deeply and completely accept myself,
and I CHOOSE to experience radiant,
optimum health from now on.
I havent had one break out or rash or puffy eyes since. Incredible.
Now to work on the starving artist syndrome!

The Idea
Chapter three
energy work
In my view, a person who works with energy bases his work on the idea that
the essence of everything in the universe is frequency, including the energy sys-
tems of our bodies.
Energy work is based on the premise that the universe is like a hologram. Every part of a
hologram contains the essence of the whole of the entire hologram. If one part of the holo-
gram shifts, the rest of the hologram moves to accommodate that shift. That way:
If I change my perceptions, I change my whole world.
the pond/the mind

Lets say Im standing at the side of a pond. There are some big rocks out in the middle,
sticking up out of the water. Some nice trees on them, even a little beach around one of
them. Pretty, isnt it?
Its a still day, the water is so smooth its like glass. You throw a pebble, watch the ripples.
They go all the way out to the rocks and the little sandy beach. You watch as they hit the
rocks and sand, and come reflecting back to you, criss-crossing each other and becoming a
mess of tangled wavelets till finally, exhausted, they smooth out and the water is quiet again.
I like to be very simplistic. I like to compare our minds with that pond. As children, our
minds are like that pond: smooth, unfettered, available for massive input. Experiences and
information are poured upon/into that mind/pond every day from even before birth. Each
element of sand or stone in that pond can be compared to a unit of information,
or an experience.
little bit little bit

One little grain at a time, those elements build up under the water, some just lying there
calm as you please. Some stick to others until they become, together, great hulking boulders
that stick up and make it known they are definitely there and not to be argued with!
Some are more friendly, and lie as solid foundations upon which to safely rest. And theres
mud near parts of the ponds border, shallow at the edge but becoming deep in places,
sticky, slimy, full of reeds and debris from storms, and unsafe to go near. You cant see it but
you know its there. Islands form, with white sandy beaches, trees and picnic spots.
ripples
You throw in another pebble. It falls to the bottom, and stays there. Its ripples ring out and
out and out, and finally reach the rocks and sandy shore of that little beach. Each experi-
ence we have is like that pebble. It impacts us, falls to the bottom of our mind. Thats that,
we have another experience. Fact.
And, the ripples go freely out and out and out into our consciousness, until they hit any
obstacles. The nature of the ripple demands that they transform in any of several different
ways after hitting the obstacle: they become integrated with the energy of the obstacle;they
are aggravated into a bigger ripple; or are de-energized, neutralized, and then disappear.
The nature of the obstacle is irrelevant. A ripple will act the same way whether it hits a rock
or a shoe or a piece of bread or even a thought. If that obstacle is removed, the energy of
that ripple will continue out unhindered.
life goes on
As my life progresses, my mind, my pond, my inner environment, grows as well. Eventually,
I might have a mountain of pain right in the middle of my pond, depending on how I have
received and perceived each pebble. I might also have islands that are fantastic oases, where
I can go for R&R; and deep places to swim and access Inner Knowing.
There will be quagmires and swamps of confusion and misguided thinking, and there will
be deep holes of fright or depression, where I might fall in and feel like Ill never get out.
There will be cliffs of despair and long roads around the pond that go absolutely nowhere.
There will be a dry section, a part that looks like moonscape, where it seems life cannot
exist at all. Great thick fogs that come as blessed relief to too much thinking. Forests, fields,
beaches, hills, rivers and streams will appear all around my mind/pond. How rich a mind
can be!
beliefs
What if I had a belief that I cant do anything right? Where did that come from? How does
it affect my everyday life? My relationships? My ability to function in the world?
Its a common theory in energy work that those beliefs are like the rocks that stick up out of
that still pond. When good things come to me, they get deflected off my beliefs - those big
rocks - and I dont get to experience having those good things because theyre pushed away
from me before I can taste them.
Not only that, but the surface of the pond may be so stirred up by the weather - or inten-
sity of feeling, like a raging storm or a long, dreary rain - that I cant focus or see straight.
So these limiting beliefs, these enormous piles of energy, act as buffers against the good
things that come to me. And, they act as magnets that pull in energy like them as well. So
not only do I not get the Goods, but I accumalate the Bads, too! Gross! Who needs that?
an illustration
Lets say that one day, when I was five years old, my dad came home from work. Hes tired
and grumpy from a long day at a job he hated, and the hour-long train ride/20 minute
drive home.
He sees me riding the back of the old living room couch. To me, its a horse! The pretty
embroidered hand-made throw rug with all those little round mirrors sewn onto it that he
got in India after the war are crumpled up under me like an old horse-blanket.
My little red cowboy hat is thrown back in the wind of my imagination, my hand is wav-
ing in the desert air, and Im screaming Eeeeehaa! in a free zone of delight. My cheeks are
flushed with the pleasure of the ride. The creaking of the old wooden joints sound to me
like the romantic creaking of old, worn leather, saddle and harness.
Dad comes in and barks at me,
Get off there! That couch is too old to take your weight like that! Itll break! And what is
this stupid thing youre shrieking? Get off there right now - cant you do anything right? Be
quiet for once, like a little girl ought to be!
pebbles become mountains

Every word, every experience, is a pebble thrown into that mind/pond. The thrill of the ride
atop the old couch, the cry of the wild cowgirl imagining herself far out in the wilderness
under a blazing desert sky, the mirrored blanket beneath, the creaking saddle -
As well as - her fathers anger and enormous presence, his and her fear of doing something
wrong, his accusations that she is too heavy (this was not the only time he implied I was
too heavy - when we drove over small local bridges hed point to the tonnage limit sign
and tell me I should probably get out since I was over-limit - he thought it was hilariously
funny), his fear that she will break the couch, be stupid, not do anything right, never being
quiet or at ease or a proper little girl - whew! - each of these elements came to make up
the elements of my mind/pond.
where do they go?

Some of these pebbles fall to the bottom and stay as firm foundations upon which we can
safely walk.
But there are some that are so energized that they seek out others just like them - whether
we would perceive them as good or bad - and zip right off to be with them. Some creep
around to the muddy part of the edge and slip in with other slimy particles. Some rush out
to stick on the enormous rock right smack in the middle.
Some simply rush around and cause a lot of confusion and an inability to stay present.
pain
I dont remember the majority of my experience as a child. I spent most of my time in a
world of my own creation, not having much to do with anyone or anything. I lived in a
fog, a fantasyland occupied by me and me only. I knew somehow that if I was fully awake,
I would feel overwhelming pain. I simply did not want to feel at all.
I look back at my childhood and there are a few distinct memories. Times of great fun and
hilarity, affection, and acceptance. Some with people floating in and out; sharp points here
and there, and long spans where there is only a white, feathery nothingness. Some very
long, very bleak, black times. I think I padded my mind with nothingness in order not to
feel the pain of being. Of feeling different, of feeling out of place.
comparisons
Some might argue that I had relatively little pain in comparison to the sufferings of others.
This is probably true - but how can one judge one persons pain, either quantitatively or
qualitatively, against anothers? Its an entirely subjective experience.
A tiny hurt to me might be an enormous chasm of terrible hurt, so awful that I might think
ending it all would be the only known way out.
My hurt came from the spoken word, especially if shouted, a perception of being unwel-
come, and the lack of affectionate touch.
Other peoples hurt comes from physical and/or sexual abuse, mental neglect, spiritual emp-
tiness, a thwarting of life purpose, religious rigidity - there are as many forms of hurt out
there as there are people - maybe more.
reactions
And there are as many reactions to pain. My own reaction was to freeze, go within and
retreat - completely. It took weeks, sometimes months, to come out again after an incident.
I seemed to function on the outside, but inside I felt dead, stopped in my tracks. I would
spend hours chewing on all the reasons why I was so hurt, mentally telling the person who
I perceived had Done Me Wrong how I felt and what I was going to do to them.
In reality, I never would do those things - I wouldnt have had the courage or the actual
inclination. I really wouldnt want to hurt anyone anyway - it just isnt part of my nature to
do so. I just wanted acknowledgement, affection, and appreciation - like anyone does.
the truth
From as far back as I can recall, I felt overwhelmed, overpowered, helpless, and powerless,
and - simultaneously, explosively enraged about it. I didnt have a clue what to do about it,
or even if there was anything I could do about it. The world seemed to be solid in its ways,
and I thought I just had to go along as best I could.
blame
By the time I was a teenager, I blamed my parents (and of course my older brothers) for
everything that I thought was wrong in my life, in our family, in the world. I had the tough
and strong act down.
I became cynical and rude, training myself to use the dirtiest, nastiest curse words I could
find, and combing the dictionary for words so I could appear clever. Nothing I uttered was
positive or life-affirming. My parents were appalled by the things I said. I tried hard to be
one of the guys, because it obviously wasnt it to be a girl. Being a girl meant being a
slave in the kitchen, and being nice. I very definitely did not feel nice.
I knew of no way to ameliorate my perceived pain of the fact of being alive, and I thought I
had only myself to depend on. I struggled to get by. Mistake after mistake. I experimented
with cigarettes, boys, drugs, alcohol, religion, the metaphysical, healing processes and mind-
training, but at the end of the day I was still unhappy. Depressed. Broke. Broken.
How would my life have been if I had known about Avatar, Holographic Repatterning, or EFT?
Heres the point

So now I do know about these processes and tools. I can look back and heal some of those
hurts. I can be present, and I can monitor and shift my attitudes, beliefs and behavior so I
can feel comfortable and happy.
For the first time since I can remember, I am not depressed. For the first time since I can
remember, I KNOW I CAN. That simple. I had always had an underlying fear that I
couldnt do it - whatever that meant - it was so huge it was too scary to really look into,
and now that those feelings are gone, there is peace. This is a revelation, a miracle, to be out
from under that pressure. I can even - gasp! - say Im happy!
Holographic Universe
I was rereading an older book recently called Creativity in Business, by Michael Ray and
Rochelle Myers. It was written in 1986, and is still crisply relevant.
It speaks about the concept of how very important it is to simply be ourselves, and about
delving into our deepest, most creative, energizing, empowered sources. I call it the Deep
Self.
They speak about thinking of the universe as a hologram, and how our perceptions form
our personal perceptions of the world. This means that our thoughts have a primary effect
on what we experience as our world, and that what is contained in our minds is manifested
on the outside of us as the world. Meaning that the universe and its seeming solidity is
actually a mental construct.
Truly, as the sages say, The world is as you see it, and your inner creative ability is
powerful indeed.
Jump!
Are you ready to take a Quantum Leap? Are you ready to actively choose a more fun, easier,
more pleasurable way of life? Because now were going to jump right in.
Jumping In
Chapter four
APPLES: LOOK OR EAT?

Which would you rather have me do: tell you about apples, or try one out
yourself?
OK, maybe you dont like apples. How about papayas? Either way, its obvious that youll
know more about papayas if you try them yourself - even if you only take one little teensy
bite - than if I spent the next ten years telling you about them.
Were going in running. Lets just get on with it. I could tell you about EFT all night long,
but until you experience it, you wont have a real idea about what it can do.
an experiment
Is any small thing you would rather not be experiencing or feeling in your life right now,
this very minute? A physical pain, or a memory, maybe? Write down on a sheet of paper
what it is.
It can be anything: a headache, a sore back, a knee pain, or a toothache. Or, you might be
worrying about something, feeling anxious, or feeling lazy! Maybe its 3:00 p.m., and an
afternoon slump has hit you. You might be drowsy, or foggy-headed. Or its late at night
and youre reading because you cant sleep, or your feet are cold.
Maybe you want something but you dont know quite what, so youre inclined to reach for
ice cream or a candy bar. A cigarette, or a beer, maybe. The feeling of wanting - craving - is
enough to make you lose attention on whatever it is you were doing.
Maybe its not a pain at all but a longing. Or frustration because you cant do something
you want to do - you have to give a speech tomorrow, and just thinking about the stage,
never mind going up on it and giving a forty-five minute talk, makes you nauseous.
RATING Or perhaps you are a student and have to take a test tomorrow.
Youve studied and know the material, but are still freaked out by
I have a headache at the idea of being tested.
the top of my head -
Or you could be a world-class surfer who has never told anyone
8 about your fear about falling off big waves. You brave it out,
My tooth is throbbing - over-ride your fear every time you go out, but it sits in the pit of
your stomach like a lead ball each time.
6
I feel sleepy - Find your own. Write it down.
8 Feel it
Remember: Its alright to feel like this!
Its not a character fault! If we dont feel, chances
are were dead or on our way. In order to find out how to resolve something,
we have to identify it first. Feeling it is how we find the problem.
10
Feel the pain/emotion/sensation
Be with it as much as you can without hurting yourself. It is not the point to 9
traumatize yourself!
Where is it in your body?

8
How would you describe it to me? Is it sharp, dull, an ache, just a feeling of
being squashed? Is it intense, or light, or maybe hot? Does it come in waves,
7
or is it erratic? If its not in your body, is it in your mind? How does it feel?
Tiring, black, heavy, nauseating? Does it have a sound or a shape? A color or 6
texture? Someones voice? Describe it to yourself very well.
5
Name it, and write it down.
rating the sensation
4
Lets say that you have a big thermometer that measures intensity of feeling.
Its marked with intervals from zero up to ten, with ten being the highest in
3
intensity.
2
What rating would you give the intensity of your feeling or sensation? If
its hard to imagine a number for the rating, guess. Your intuition will most 1
likely be right. This number is only a reference point so when youre done
with this short process youll be able to see where you came from. Write the
number down.
being able to notice

If you have marked the intensity of your feeling at only a one or two, find another one
that has at least a five rating, just so you can notice a difference when youve finished the
exercise.
If you cant find one right now, go back to a time when you had a troubling pain, experi-
ence or emotion. Use that.
be kind to yourself
Be responsible for your well-being - whether you are feeling a present sensation or one from
the past. For now, avoid choosing one that is really (a nine or ten) distressing - this is just
an exercise! EFT is meant to be pain/distress-free. Im just making a point here, not trying
to get you into extreme pain or paroxysms of raging emotion!
an experience
Lets see what a hands-on, immediate, tangible experience of EFT is like.
Now. You have a sensation that you have named and described on your sheet of paper.
You have rated this sensation, and written down the rating.
illustrations
Go to the illustrations in Chapter 5, Illustrations of the Tapping Points to see the
positions your hands must take in order to do the tapping: youll need to know the Karate
Chop Point and the Tapping Points. Here are the steps of the process you will use:
1. the setup
As you tap the tips or the ends of the fingers of one hand against the Karate Chop Point (as
in the diagram), you say the Setup Phrase. The setup phrase acknowledges the pain (speak it
out loud). You say:
even though I have this pain/feeling/sensation

(this anger, fear, craving, worry)
Still tapping the Karate Chop Point, you

continue and say:
I deeply and completely accept myself

Altogether it will look/sound like this:
even though I have this pain/feeling/sensation

(this anger, fear, craving, worry)
Repeat these phrases so that you have said them three times, as you simultaneously and
continually strike the Karate Chop Point. Please strike the Karate Chop point firmly, but
without hurting your hands!
Important note: Dont worry that, by saying these things, you might be installing these nega-
tive things into your system - theyre already there, or you wouldnt be thinking of them or feeling
them! All youre doing is letting them come out as the truth about how you feel right now.
2. the sequence
Next, proceed to the top Tapping Point (at the tip of one of your eyebrows). With the tips
of your first and second fingers, tap on each face point, moving down to the collarbone and
underarm points.
Tap firmly about 5 to 7 times on each point as you repeat the words this pain (feeling, sen-
sation) as you go down the line of tapping points. There are seven points. Make sure you
find and tap each one.
Tap the same intensity you would as if you were drumming the table in impatience - its about
that same firmness. Not so hard that you hurt or bruise yourself!
3. check your new rating

NEW RATING At the end of the tapping sequence, check the intensity rating
for your pain/emotion/sensation. Is it the same? Lower? Higher?
I have a headache at Write down your results, and any notes you might want to add.
the top of my head -
try again
4 If the rating is the same or higher, repeat the process.
My tooth is throbbing - Write down your results, and any notes you might want to add.
2 again
I feel sleepy - If there is little or no movement or the rating is higher, try again.
5 This time, try rubbing the Sore Spot for the Setup Statements.
Just for fun, you may want to add the Finger Points and the
Gamut, seen in Chapter 5, Illustrations of the Tapping
Points. Do your best to get down to zero, but if you remain at

NEW RATING a livable one or two, its OK. Write down your results, and any
I have a headache at notes you might want to add.
the top of my head - good!
0 - gone! You have now completed your first experience using EFT.
My tooth is throbbing - Congratulations!
0 By this time, you ought to have had some movement of the
energy in your system.
I feel sleepy -
0 - I feel great! Many people experience their pain disappearing, their emotions
calming, or craving going away.
Breathing often becomes deeper and fuller. Some people sigh or yawn. Some get shivers
down the back or other part of the body.
In the interest of experimentation, I want you to get a taste of the process of EFT. I cant
possibly forecast what might happen for you. I hope you got relief from whatever pain or
unwanted feeling you were experiencing, and that you feel better than before.
Your own sensations and your own notes are tangible evidence that you have just taught
yourself the basics of a tool with which, if you so choose, you can change the quality of
your life.
a recap:
Feel it.
Be specific: the more carefully you can notice what you feel, the more you can
clear and heal.
Lets say you have a pain or an unwanted sensation or feeling. The more specific you can be
the better. Instead of I have a headache, for instance, use I have a headache in the top
part of my head on the right side. Feel to see what something is, where it is, how it feels,
and how much intensity it has. Identify it, what ever it is!
Rate it/Write it down.

Give it a number - what intensity level is it at for you? If you cant see a thermometer or
hear a number, or feel a level of intensity - guess! Write it down!
Setup and I Accept Statement

As you tap on the Karate Chop point, or rub the Sore Spot, repeat three times:
even though I have this __________________ ,

or
I want to love and accept myself
or
I am willing to think about loving and
accepting myself
Examples of accept phrase for kids:

Im a great kid
or
My Mom loves me
Tap the Sequence

Eyebrow point
Side Eye
Under eye
Under nose
Chin
Collarbone
Underarm
Rate/Write.
What is your intensity rating now? Write it down. Note down anything you noticed: a
memory from the past, or an insight. How does your body feel? Maybe you feel generally
brighter and happier all over.
Look.
Look, feel, go over what youve done.
The implications are amazing, yes?

Chapter five
Illustrations
of the
Tapping Points
the basic
tapping points
1 EB (eyebrow)
2 SE
(on the bony
ridge at the side
of the eye)
(under nose) 4 UN 3 UE (on

the bony ridge
under the eye)
(chin) 5 CH
(either collarbone tip) 6 CB
this spot is about 4 fingers width
down from the armpit
7 UA
(under arm)
the tapping sequence

1
firmly strike the Karate Chop Spot
2 on one hand with the combined
3 flattened fingers of the other.
4
it doesnt matter which
hand you strike
KARATE CHOP SPOT
The set-up:
A. Say statements 1 - 3 in a complete set three times as
you firmly strike the Karate Chop Point:
1. Even though I _______(insert your phrase here)____
2. I deeply love and accept myself
(or, if for a child: Im a great kid, or another appropriate phrase)
Now go to Part II of the Tapping Sequence

the tapping sequence

1
4 3
5
6
The Sequence:
B. Repeat the gist of the setup phrase as you tap down all points
Repeat Step B as many times as it takes to get
relief or to get yourself comfortable.
When you have had a satisfying shift in thinking
or feeling about the issue you are tapping on, create a short, positive
phrase that would encapsulate how youd rather feel or be. Then do Step C.
C. Repeat the gist of your I choose phrase as you tap down the sequence of all points
the sore spots
1 2
3
4
1. put first finger in the dip at bottom of throat

2. stretch out the thumb and all fingers as far as possible
3. the sore spot can be found approximately at the end of the thumb and the third finger
if it is not sore right at that spot, feel around till you do find a place nearby
that is sore (its sore because its a lymph drainage location that is usually
tender to the touch. It wont hurt it to rub it, but keep from hurting
yourself by rubbing it too hard)
the finger points

Use these points with the face, body and Gamut point
for further emphasis in your process
points are
1 right at
the edge
2 of the
3 fingernails
4
Karate Chop Spot
Starting at the side of the tip of the thumb,

work towards the little finger, tapping with the index
and second finger of the other hand.
Skip the third finger.
End up with the Karate Chop Spot.

the Gamut
3 4
2
You can add these few 1

THE
steps for further emphasis GAMUT
of the whole procedure. Add SPOT
them after tapping the face and
body, and/or Finger Points. back of hand
This helps put the body
and brain back into balance.
Rub the Gamut Spot(the V-shaped indentation on the back

of the hand at the base of the knuckles of 3rd and 4th fingers)
with the tips of the index and 2nd fingers of the other hand,
as you go through these steps:
Looking straight forward (but relaxed!)

and keep your head still:
1. Close the eyes
2. Open the eyes
3. Look down (keep head still - eyes move only!) to the hard left
4. Look down (keep head still - eyes move only!) to the hard right
5. Still without moving the head, do a wide, 360 degree rotation
of the eyes in one direction
6. Do a wide, 360-degree rotation of the eyes in the other direction
7. Hum a few notes of a tune (like happy birthday to you....)
8. Count from one to five
9. Hum a few notes of a tune
Navigating the Steps

to Wholeness
Chapter six
intention
What is your intention? Where are you going, and where are you now? Is what
you are doing in your life aligned with and supporting your intentions?
If you say you want to drive from Boston to New York, and are still in Dallas, you may
wonder what you are actually wanting. But if youre in Boston, all packed up with a picnic
basket and a full tank of gas, you are aligned and ready to go.
not aligned
I moved from Hawaii to California in 1990, then to New Mexico. For eleven years I heard
myself say, I wish I was back in Hawaii. Over and over, but did I move there? No. I
wasnt aligned with my choice. Not only was I not aligned with what I said my desire was,
when it came time for me to make a big move, I went right against my so-called preferred
choice! I moved from New Mexico to New Zealand! I could have moved to Hawaii quite
easily. But I let other desires get in the way.
i decide!
In January of this year, 2003, finally, I asked myself where I would really, truly rather be.
After a year and a half of living in New Zealand, I thought, OK, I will NOW either move
back to Hawaii, or shut up about it. Enough talk! Lets have some action!
checking my reality
What hurts, is in my way, feels uncomfortable, unaligned? What could I
improve, enhance, change, shift?
I checked to see what was hindering my choice. I stopped doing anything that would be in
the way of my going (like setting up more workshops down the line in months time), and
I started the process of leaving. It was hard. I wanted to keep going like I was, but I also
define issues/problems
What is in my way? Where is it? What does it look like, sound, smell, feel like? How big is
it? If I cant name it, what sound can I make to express it?
I found many negative, uncomfortable and unsupportive thoughts and emotions (turned
out there were lots of them!). Most of them had to do with very negative and unsatisfy-
ing beliefs about myself and what I could or could not accomplish in life. I wrote them all
down on paper.
make a preferred choice

What would I rather be/do/have instead????
Id already decided that I wanted to live in Hawaii. So I took an evening, got comfortable,
and visualized where I wanted to live, where I wanted to play, how I wanted to use my time
and energy there, and who I wanted to hang out with, both in business and recreationally.
Most of all, though, I imagined and felt how I wanted to feel when I got there and settled
down into my new reality. I wrote all that down, too.
clear the energy

Use EFT to clear the disrupted energy.
I tapped on and cleared negative beliefs about myself, as well as many other negative,
restricting or unsupportive thoughts that came up.
take positive action!

What is possible now that seemed impossible or improbable before?
Once I tapped on the negative stuff and got thinking in a more positive way, I asked myself
what it would take to get to, and live in, Hawaii. Then I organized my thoughts, and turned
in that direction. That was in January. Its now March, and in 3 weeks, off I go, as of this
writing.
prep
I have bought my ticket, paid for 2 nights in a hotel - so I can sleep my jet lag off before
I go anywhere (although Im sure with tapping I can clear it a lot faster now) - and I have
rented a car for my first week there. (Note: it is now a year later, and with tapping, I
experienced no jet lag at all!)
Ive begun shipping arrangements for my personal effects, and am researching a storage
locker for them when they arrive. Am I aligned with my desire? You bet!
I have also made a point of reading self-help and other positive books (like The Seven
Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey) in order to further bolster my
ability to create my new reality.
recheck
Keep checking my reality to keep myself on course.
I keep feeling how I feel, listening to my thoughts - am I doing or saying anything that
might be contrary to my choice?
Once in a while I hear comments like, isnt it expensive there? And my body does a lurch,
as my mind goes, Oh yeah? Wonder if itll be hard to make it there.
So then I tap on how I feel about that, as well as thoughts and values around that issue.
Clear it all out, and on I go. I keep my heading on my internal compass, keep on clearing,
in order to attain my goals.
Whose life is this????

If I want to be the captain of my life and of my body - my trillion-celled ship -
I had best take command. Intend, choose, act. If I dont, I end up living my life
by default.
Some say this is selfish. That we ought, or should, do this or that, do as we are told, toe
the line, fit the mold, fit into society, be nice, dont rock the boat.... Well, in the end, Im
the one making the decisions, even if I do decide to live under someone elses command, or
even if I decide not to decide. Im the captain, the boss, the chooser, the source, of my own
experience.
I prefer to consciously make my own choices about my life. I believe you feel that way, too,
or you wouldnt be reading this book.
steps
On the next page is a chart with the steps we can take to make sure we stay on our own
self-determined path. Use it often and every time you feel lost, unsure, foggy, needing a
next step, or just to see if youre on track.
NAVIGATIng
with eft
1. CLARIFY YOUR INTENTION
ask: whats my intention, where am I going,
where am I now?
2. CHECK YOUR REALITY

ask: what hurts, feels uncomfortable, unaligned;
what could I improve/change?
3. DEFINE ANY ISSUE/PROBLEM

ask: what is the issue/problem? where is it, what
does it look, sound, smell, feel like? how big is it?
if I cant name it, what is a sound to express it?
4. CLEAR DISRUPTED ENERGY

use EFT to clear the disrupted or
obstructing energy
5. MAKE A PREFERRED CHOICE

ask: what would I rather be/do/have instead????
6. TAKE NEXT POSITIVE ACTION

ask: what is possible now that seemed
impossible or improbable before?
DECIDE: what is my new choice?
7. RECHECK &
KEEP NAVIGATING
keep checking to keep myself on course
STAY ALERT!
Questions
Chapter seven
what/why/how?
Now that you have had a taste of what EFT can do for you, and you have
the steps to navigate, lets ask other questions. Why would we want to change
anything? What would the benefits be? If we did want to, how can we?
I like to ask myself these questions often. Not because I dont know the answers, but
because I want to go deeper.
Each time I ask/answer, I refine my alignment with, and use of, my energy, for the next
period of time until I ask again. I then do my best to clean up the pockets of energy within
my life that are opposed to or conflict with my intent.
ask, WHAT Am i HERE FOR?

Heres what I believe were here for:
1. To be! To Love! To enjoy being, doing and having!
2. To hone our attention and awareness so we can intend and do all the above consciously!
What is attention? Active consciousness, the power of self-knowing.
What is intention? Purpose. To direct, as ones course or thought; to have intention, mean,
tend or incline.
In other words: expanding and refining our knowingness, our consciousness, in order to
hold onto our purpose, intent or direction, in this life.
3. Most of all, to be joyous, to do joyousness - to express the joy that comes along with
heightened consciousness, the incredible expansive feeling that comes along with realizing
and activating our own possibilities.
back then...
In the past, we were more used to thinking that physical manifestation is something
relegated to those who are called shaman, guru, master, magician, mage, witch,wizard, or
other such names.
WE ALL MANIFEST!
The real fact is that we all manifest (manifest: to make something evident to sight, mind or
understanding) many things in our own lives every day. We are creators.
Its true: we manifest things every single day. We get up, go to the bathroom, brush our
teeth, wash ourselves - we have manifested cleanliness.
We make and eat breakfast - we have manifested a meal out of food. We have manifested
satisfaction by eating till we are full or satisfied. We have soothed our hunger.
All of this is manifestation. Mundane, but manifestation, just the same.
Artists, musicians, dancers and businessmen create out of seemingly nothing - an idea pops
into their minds and there is a new painting or sculpture, a new song, a new way to move
through the air, a new product or way to sell.
A mother and father manifest a baby. A builder manifests a house, apartment, office, ship,
airplane or computer.
A student refines his already manifest intelligence. A computer programmer will create new
programs.
A surfer will manifest action, moving his body through waves. A speaker will manifest
meaning through words. A car manufacturer will create a new car - several! - every year!
A tennis player will manifest victory or loss.
We all manifest all the time.
How?
With our awareness, knowingness, consciousness; our choices; and the intentional direction
of that consciousness. So wouldnt it be reasonable to want to manifest the best life we can?
And if consciousness is our tool, to improve that tool as much as possible to be able to
constantly refine our manifestations?
SO WHY WOULD I WANT TO CHANGE ANYTHING?

Why not?
Would we want more fun? More money? To maybe help more people? To add to our
family? To travel, write, have more independence, more business - or less?
How about if we had health instead of illness, comfort instead of pain, a feeling of
satisfaction and pleasure instead of worry or fear?
Even if those elements are small items to someone else, why not resolve them, and see what
would happen?
WHAT WOULD IT GET YOU, TO CHANGE ANYTHING

IN YOUR LIFE?
What benefits or drawbacks are there in change?
Lets say I have a spouse or family member Im having trouble with. Lets say I think they
dont understand me and wont speak to me. Or they think I dont understand them, or that
Im dangerous to them, so they wont allow me to be a part of their life. And I dont under-
stand what it is that makes them so against me. What would I like to change?
Ask: what dont I like about it?

Lets see. I dont like:
missing contact, not being a part of their life
feeling disrespected
feeling left out, disconnected
feeling wrongly accused
that someone thinks badly of me
Thats enough for now.
So what can I change?

Its certain that I cant change anyone else. But I can change how I respond to a situation.
Maybe by changing my response I might find that I learn something I didnt know that I
didnt know, or something will change in the relationship - or, most likely, both.
What will it get me, to change? More peace, maybe? More understanding - of both myself
and the other person? More calm?
What might any drawbacks be in change? It might be scary to try something new. I might
have to admit I was wrong. I might have to make a step in their direction with humility;
and I might lose face.
Well, so what? Is my pride more important than my desire for resolution, my own or their
happiness? I think I can let that go! Measuring staying-the-same against changing, most
times the benefits of changing win out.
DIRECTING ENERGY
In order for our subconscious to know what to do to change something, it needs
to know what it is we want changed. Then it needs to know the direction in
which the new energy needs to go.
I can clear (1 - clear) out my studio, but new paintings wont paint themselves unless
I decide (2 - decide) to paint them, and then go about (3 - choose) getting the paint I need
and the canvasses and other materials, then doing the actual painting (4 - create/act).
I can rid myself of many things I dont want in my energy system (1 - clear), but if I dont
decide where to put my new-found energy (2 - decide not to decide), and make choices that
support that decision (3 - choose not to choose), I might find that Im either feeling empty
or being led by someone elses ideas - living by default (4 - lack of, or incorrect creation/
action). I dont want that!
CHANGE YOUR DIMENSION

It is now common knowledge that the cosmos is comprised of vibration, frequency. You and
I are compounded aggregates of various energies. We appear to be solid. But just as when
we look out into space, there is enormous distance between this star and that, when we look
at our atoms and molecules and protons and little zingy quarks, and the distance between
their elements, our own physical makeup is very similar.
Cosmos or human - it looks the same whether you look in or out!
I believe that we actually change dimensions when we change our energy: if the cosmos is
all frequency, and I am made up of energy frequencies, then when I shift my frequencies I
change the dimensional frequency I inhabit. I change dimension.
when youre happy....

Remember the old song that says when youre in love then the whole world loves you?
How about the saying, misery loves company?
Pretty obvious tell-tale messages - if Im happy, then the whole world around me, or my
dimension, is happy. Im in the Happy Dimension. If I am miserable, my company, my
dimension, is miserable. Im in the Misery Dimension.
If Im happy, I am vibrating on a vastly different frequency rate than the slow-moving,

heavy, dense and depressed, unhappy one I was on before.
Why would I need to use a mechanical device to be transported into a new dimension
when all I have to do is change my own energy? I believe it can happen in the blink of
an eye. Why would I need to use a space ship or a time machine or any other physical
mechanism? All I need to do is to change my state!
tap on it!
Try tapping on a few issues you dislike about your life and see how happy you
get at the end of the sessions. If that aint changing dimension, I dont know
what is!
Eventually, I think, we will get our nervous systems so refined that we can shift at a whim.
Tapping is just the beginning of a very large - world-wide - dimensional shift. You watch!
Ten, twenty years from now, we wont need to tap anymore. Taping will be obsolete. All
well have to do is intend something and *blam* its done. We will have refined our systems,
and our abilities to use them, so much that a thought will heal. An intention will create.
energy
Our energy is affected deeply by our indoctrination and training, by our relationships with
others, and the world at large, all of which has been duly recorded on our subconscious
minds.
the palace walls

Gary Craig uses a great analogy when he speaks about indoctrination, conditioning, or
other ways in which we learn to do as our parents say to do or as the group does rather than
functioning from our core, or Deep Self.
He talks about the Palace of Possibilities, the gorgeous, natural space inside us all that has
the possibilities intact for any thing natural to us and our natures. Within this palace, we
have favorite rooms in which we hang out all the time, barely visiting the other rooms.
Some rooms are spacious, some lavishly decorated, others are quiet and peaceful, and others
are full of riches.
Some rooms are our favorite hangouts, others we never go near.
writing on our walls

Each of those rooms has a script on its walls, determining how we go about our Role in the
Play of Life. Every sentence has an effect on us, whether its written in tiny letters in the
corner so far down that we cant see it, or huge, glowing neon letters glowing in the center
of the wall, taking up all our attention.
varieties of messages
We have a variety of lines in our script that affect us throughout the day. Both positive and
negative.
I might have one little sentence on my walls that says Im not good enough to run around
the field and win the race, and I might also have a whole wall full of others that say Go for
it! or You can do it! or Youre the best runner in the state, or the line I heard over and over
in first grade, youre so good at drawing horses, Angela.
Those positive messages can outweigh the negative ones, but when we come up against
something thats uncomfortable in some way, our system is telling us that the negative
messages are outweighing the positive ones.
example: public speaking

You might be able to stand up in front of a group of people and give an impromptu talk,
but to me that might be something that would make me turn red in the face and give
me heart palpitations for the next week.
If youre comfortable with public speaking, you probably have little or no internal message
(or inner mountain in the way) that says you cant or shouldnt do it. Its probably some-
thing with which you feel OK, or thats even exciting and inspiring - totally within the
realms of possibility for you.
Whereas, I might have physical discomfort, my voice might contract, or I might even stop
breathing! Even thinking about getting in front of people might make my head might spin.
I might get dizzy, or get a headache. When I get onstage, I might blank out and lose the
ability to think of what to say at all, or have to sit down: my body has all kinds of ways to
tell me it is NOT OK for me to do public speaking. With this type of energy disruption in
my system, is giving talks on art, EFT or inspiration one of my favorite things to do in life?
Doubtful.
Why?
Somewhere in our past someone ridiculed us for saying something: for me it was my dad
telling me little girls should be seen and not heard - and not even seen, come to think of it!
The experience of having been made fun of or being shamed produces very negative, limit-
ing writing on our walls. Writing on the walls that limits our belief in ourselves, and causes
us to make decisions with those limitation as their basis.
That inner writing limits our ability to act functionally. It ends creating up a tangle in our
mind/body energy system, resulting in our feeling uncomfortable in a situation where we
might have to speak to a group, or even a single person.
how do we deal with this?

Untangle the energy. Clear the writing on those walls.
How the heck do we do that? Go to a therapist, go back to the painful past, face it, spout it
out over and over and over again? Face our fears? Jump out of planes to confront our fear of
heights? Speak up for ourselves when we only want to go in a corner and hide, be invisible;
or hold a rat to see if our disgust of them will go away? No.
Some of us have - for years - beat pillows and screamed primal screams and talked to other
pillows as if they were the ones who did us wrong. Sometimes with some great results,
sometimes with so-so, and sometimes with very little, if any, real results. We have endured
hours of a wide variety of other techniques, gone to doctors who havent had one clue whats
wrong with us, much less been able to help, sometimes being brutally derisive, announcing
that its all in our heads and theres nothing wrong with us at all.
eft is sooooo easy!

Now, using EFT, it is entirely possible to erase unwanted and unsupportive writing on our
walls, and to straighten out the tangled energy in our systems. Without many expensive
years of therapy, without having to re-experience the original pain over and over, and, most
times, without having to depend on someone else to guide us through each and every step.
EFT provides a simple, easy, fast way to clear deep writing on our walls, to untangle the
energy in our systems. Its a fantastic method that opens up avenues of possibility that we
never dreamed would be available to us, no matter how young or old we might be.
Be honest
This is how I get really present when I want to change something on a core level.
Use EFT to tap on

I go to my room and close the door. any of these issues:
I get out a pen and a piece of paper.
I take a huge deep breath. And again. physical
I write a short synopsis of how I feel - like, I might say: emotional
mental
Im broke and unhappy, I dont like it here, and it seems Im spiritual
unable to make it. financial
relationships
Then I look at all the issues and I write a short positive phrase,
inserting the reality I would prefer. Like: business
creativity
I am happy and successful living in Hawaii. fun
health
Then I tap on all the things I dont like, and choose the positive.
SO START creating the REALITY you want!

Write out two lists:
On the left-hand side of a sheet of paper, write what you dont like about your life. On the
other side of the sheet, write what it is you would prefer.
Feel how much you dont like the dont-like items. Rate the intensity. Tap on each of the
items on the left-hand side. In an I choose phrase from the right hand side of the sheet, add
the preferred-item.
It can look like this:

Clarify
I like to use specific categories to really pin
down, clearly and in detail, what it is I want
I dont have enough money I have an income of to change and have. List one to three items
($___) a month in each category (in the box on the top right
I feel heavy and tired I am light and energized of this page) that you would prefer to change,
eliminate, expand upon, or enhance:
I dont think EFT works I know EFT works for me
I feel guilty I am serene List the preferred changes you want to make
I feel depressed I feel content for each item. Be short, sweet and to the
point. A whole page for an item is way over-
doing it!
For instance, lets say I pick physical:

I feel heavy
I feel tired
I feel discouraged
My preferred change will be:
I feel light
I feel energized and inspired
I am excited about my life
use eft on each item!

Rate the intensity of each feeling, then tap on each one. Refer to the Illustration pages as
often as you like. Ultimately you will learn shortcuts, but for now, use the full process. Its
powerful.
Be kind to yourself
If you have more than one item per category, the process may take longer than you want/
can allocate time for. So start with one at a time. Now that you have learned the basic pat-
tern, you can tap a little bit - or as much as you want - every day from now on!
You might want to pick one category at a time, and make a list of items in that one day,
and another category the next day. Be creative. Its your life.
SIDE BENEFITS
When you tap, youll have insights that will awaken you to what you may need to tap on
next. One item will lead to deeper items in the same line, or will surprise you into finding
something that seems completely unrelated. Trust your intuition. Its there to help you!
What is really amazing about EFT is that once we start tapping, issues we never knew we
had come up to be healed (see the chapters on Aspects for more on this). Those can fall away
easily and effortlessly once we tap on them. It also happens that issues that we are unaware
of can go away without us noticing. Its as if we had a whole studio all crammed up with
junk, and by vacuuming the floor, all of a sudden the stuff on the walls came straight as
well, with no extra effort on our part.
feeling like a lump

Heres someone who really wanted a big change. He feels heavy, and unenergetic. He is also
afraid his heart condition (high blood pressure) is getting worse.
My friend, Elliott, and I met for an hour. He was complaining about feeling heavy and depressed.
As we discussed how he felt, I noted down some of the items he was talking about.
I noticed that a lot of how he felt was exactly how I used to feel a lot of the time. I decided
to tap with him - though I normally do anyway - because so many of the issues had been
mine as well. It made me think of something an old friend/mentor had told me a long time
ago: that we go through things that help us learn how to help others travel the same path
later on. Well, I had certainly travelled this path! We tapped on:
even though I feel tired all the time

sluggish
non-inspired
depressed
not having the energy for much
As we completed that last part, he said, and I feel like a big lump. So we tapped:
even though I feel like a big lump

a bump on a lump
a lump of a bump on a lump
That got a bit of a laugh and he lightened up a bit -
and a bump on a lump,

and dooooowwnnn
depressssssed and
sooo tired
More laughter - it doesnt have to be so serious all the time, you know! We said:
I deeply and comPLETELY accept myself and

I choose to have lots of energy and enthusiasm.
beginning to shift
At that point, the color jumped back into his face, he sat up straighter and was willing to be
totally present. It was such a joy to see. I love this. We kept going, and tapped on:
even though my heart is weak

and Im afraid it will fail
and my veins are weak
I deeply and comPLETELY accept myself and

I choose to have lots of energy and enthusiasm.
later
What is interesting is that now, as I write this, about two months later, I have a piece of
paper sitting beside me that lists his heart rates for the September, December and January
checkups he had. The first was 171/80, the second was 169/90, and the last, which was
measured a week or so after this session, was 144/68.
Can I say conclusively that EFT really made that exact change? No. But I can say it had
effect.
early hurts
When we get hurt at age seven, and our system is trying over and and over to get itself
fixed, we ARE seven, in relation to that hurt, until we find a way to resolve the disrupted
energy and grow up. So honor that - be five, ten, whatever. Listen to that child, acknowl-
edge the hurt, and tap on it. Shift the energy and make another choice.
shine!
What if you were a bright child, and someone couldnt handle that because of situations or
circumstances that had nothing to do with you personally? So you learned to hold in your
shine, in order not to get punished. That beautiful shine needs to come out now! Try this:
even though Im angry and I feel like I have to hold my shine in for fear of others
judgement,
and I shrink around people and Im sick of it,
I deeply and completely accept myself and
I choose to safely shine
to reclaim my power
to experience radiant and beautiful wholeness
to experience my ME-ness!
Tapping is like clearing the table after a big messy feast. Throw out those crumpled smelly
beer cans and dirty ashtrays - who needs them? Clean off your table and set a new feast - its
time. When we tap, we energize our energy system, making it possible for the scrambled
energy to correct itself.
more Added benefits

Its amazing how issues that you dont even think about clear up when you tap on other
issues, or with someone else.
A few years ago when I was living in New Mexico, I went to the Santa Fe Flea Market on a
very hot day. I walked around for about three hours until it was too hot to move anymore.
It was only about one in the afternoon, but I felt light-headed and my feet hurt like crazy.
When I got home, I had some very odd looking, bright red patches on my ankles. It looked
almost as if my veins were popping through my skin. The ankles themselves didnt hurt, but
it looked like I had taken a blood bath.
Over the next week or so, the splotches turned a hideous brown right under the skin. I
thought it would go away after a while, but it didnt. I started wearing socks - my ankles
looked filthy, and it was embarrassing. I asked this doctor and that practitioner what it was
and how to clear it, but no-one knew what it was, or was able to give me a solution.
One thought it might be mercury poisoning coming out, another thought it was a sign I
was an aneurysm candidate, another thought I was going to have a heart attack, and others
thought this and that. Essentially, no-one knew.
borrowing the benefits

Finally, four years later, I tapped with a friend on his heart problem/weak veins.
When I looked down at my feet a few days after we tapped, I noticed the brown spots were
subsiding. I wasnt sure, so I waited a few more days, and re-tapped on it, adding how I felt
about having the things there.
even though Im afraid my heart will collapse on me

and my veins will, too, and
I hate the way my ankles look, and
I hate it that my veins are weak, and
Im afraid I will die young like my parents
I deeply and completely love and accept myself, and I am willing to consider that I can
forgive myself for my own contribution to this problem
and I choose to have strong, healthy veins
and I choose for my subconscious to do whatever it has to do to enable my body
to get them strong again.
Guess what hideous big brown splotches are almost completely gone - after being there for
four years?
They began clearing when I tapped with Elliott!

tapping along
When we get benefits from anothers tapping, even if theyre tapping on an issue we dont
relate to, its called borrowing the benefits. It doesnt matter if we dont have an issue on
what they are addressing. Our handy-dandy reliable subconscious goes to the area of energy
we need to clear, and clears it as we tap with our friend, child, spouse, client or whoever.
Amazing.
groups
Ive seen it happen a lot in my classes and workshops. One person will have an issue that we
all will tap on together, and everyone ends up feeling great.
Imagine if a large group - a really, really large group - got together....
Yesterday
I facilitated an EFT support group meeting yesterday. It was a beautiful day so far, sunny
and bright, with a nice warm breeze flowing in the open window.
Gloria, a woman sitting next to me was telling me about someone she knew who she
wanted to help with EFT. I watched as her eyes filled with tears and became red around the
edges. Her breath was short and her face lost all its color.
I reminded her how to tap on her collarbone as she stopped to breathe. She and I did that
together for a time, until I saw that she was ready to do a little tapping on the issue itself.
Gloria still couldnt speak yet, so I asked her if it was OK to tap on her hand and face as I
said the setup statement and phrases. She noddd.
I went through three setups, and then we tapped about five times on one side and three
times on the other, ending up with
and I choose to feel calm and comfortable.
She gave a huge sigh, and settled back into the couch. Her color had returned, her breath
was good, and her eyes were clear again.
collarbone tapping
I asked Gloria how she felt. She started to say fine, but when she started to think about the
topic shed be so caught up in, another aspect of it came up and we did it all over again. I
turned to the rest of the group, who were talking amongst themselves, and asked them to
do the collarbone tap with us, and then we all tapped.
I told them about the CD in which Gary had been talking about how moved he was about
his daughters wedding. He said he was concerned that hed be walking her down the aisle
crying like a baby and didnt think that would be so great.
in public
Since hed found that the collarbone point was a good release point for himself, he decided
to tap on it if and when the tears started to come up. Which they did, and he did, and he
was fine.
the point
Some people have different points that seemed to ease and release emotions for them. His
was the collarbone point, but yours might be something else. He simply calls it The Point a
personal point that varies, person to person.
I just decided to assume it would work for us at the meeting, and it did. We
kept on tapping, only a bit more, until it felt done.
10
a big sigh
As before, the big sigh. This time it looked like the shift was solid. I pointed 9
out to the group that the big sigh often meant that we had passed through
the energy disruption and it was released - and often the issue was forgotten.
We talked abut how it seems, in the beginning of a session, that the issue is
8
huge, and then afterwards it seems like nothing at all. 7
the rating
One woman asked about the rating thermometer, why it was important. I 6
explained to her that once we straighten out the energy in our systems it is
so normal to feel good that we can easily say that the issue was no big deal 5
in the first place, and since it isnt anything at all now, what was the fuss
about? 4
The rating we get from looking at the thermometer is a refence point: it lets
us know that we actually did something, and measures how much we did.
3
The rating can tell us if were done, partially done, or even stuck - in which
case we would have to look for other factors to address in order to get the 2
rating own to zero or a near-zero.
1
forgetting
She asked me why she forgot what it was she was tapping on. I told her
there were probably a couple reasons for that.
One is that maybe the system thought it was too big an issue to deal with, and it was trying
to avoid it to protect her from having feelings she didnt particularly enjoy.
I mentioned that in the beginning, when I first started to tap, I would quite often simply
pass out as I was tapping. I would just go right to sleep, in an instant, right in the middle of
a sentence - usually the setup statement. When I awoke, I would be a little disoriented, not
knowing what I had been doing or where I was.
one track mind

But I went right back to the issue and took up where I left off. My system was trying to
prevent me from re-visiting the old hurts, thats all. I realized I could tap on thanking my
system for its concern, and tell it that I was OK, and that I would rather clear these things
than carry them around anymore. After I did that, I didnt fall asleep anymore.
are you done?

Another reason for forgetting what we are tapping on can be that were done, clear, finished
with that aspect or issue. Notice, as you realize youre forgetting, if youve taken a big sigh,
or youre breathing more deeply or feeling more energized. If so, check to see what your
rating is, and if youre done, then stop! No need to go on!
signals
Recently when I was speaking with someone about making a business plan, I started to get
sleepy. I had been wide awake the moment before, and now I felt as if I was going to pass
out on the spot. Did I need a rest?
No. I needed to take time out to see what issue was up that needed clearing in order for me
to hear what she was saying to me. I excused myself, took a few moments in the bathroom
to do a little tapping, and was able to come back alert and receptive.
If we can pay attention, keep our minds connected to

our deeper Knowing, we can stay on track better.
I think its a mistake to make ourselves bully on when we need to rest. That little momen-
tary rest, or stopping point, can be an opportunity to take a moment out, to regroup, to
tap, or let a new idea through. It can have monumental consequences later on.
Rachel
My friend, Rachel, has two grand-daughters, ages 2 and 4. The younger one, Tina, has been
prone to tantrums.
Rachel is presently engaged in finishing up a three-year back-to-college program and

sometimes finds it difficult to deal with the kids high energy - especially the tantrums -
when the girls came to visit her.
Rachel learned EFT and began using it on herself at home to try to deal with various issues
she had going with a very uncomfortable and drawn-out old work situation. Tina watched,
saying nothing.
tantrum
Later, when Tina was working up to an I-dont-want-to-go-to-bed tantrum, Rachel tapped
on her little body, saying the phrases for her:
even though Im angry I have to go to bed

and Gamma is going to leave me in here and I have to go to sleep and I dont want to
Im a great kid
even though I want my way and I cant get it

and I have a hard time getting people to
listen to me and what I want
Im a great kid
She calmed right down, and Rachel easily concluded the nitey-nite rituals.
tap me, gamma!

A few days later when she was again at Rachels, Tina came up to her and put Rachels hand
on her forehead, and said, Tap me, Gamma, tap me!
Since then, there have been many times when Tina asks Rachel to Tap me, Gamma, tap
me!
Rachel says it has brought Tina a level of calm she hadnt had before. And since she was able
to choose more satisfying ways to get her way, Tina hasnt had so many tantrums.
Defining the Issue

Chapter eight
where to start??
People have asked me where to start.
Easy. Start where you are.
Sounds a little glib, but there it is. If you feel depressed, start with feeling depressed. If
you feel sad, start with feeling sad. If you feel angry, start tapping on feeling angry. Maybe
theres something you feel like you want to add to your life, or expand upon. You can start
with how you feel about not having that thing. Or how you feel about expanding upon it -
is it going to be hard, do you believe you can do it, deserve it, be safe with it, and so on.
It helps to write whatever it is down.
rate it
Start off by rating your feelings. If you feel angry about something, from 0 to 10, with 10
being most angry, what number would you give it on the thermometer?
Then repeat the setup phrases three times as you tap on the Karate Chop Point or rub the
Sore Spots:
even though I feel angry

I deeply and completely accept myself.
Then tap the Sequence as many rounds as it takes to get the rating down to zero. Often it
takes a just a couple of rounds.
what to call it?

If you cant name a particular emotion, see if theres an unwanted, uncomfortable or even
unfamiliar physical sensation somewhere in your body system.
It could be a tight feeling in the belly, pain or stiffness in the back or legs, constriction in
the throat, or a fast-beating heart. It could be a vague feeling of pressure, or a dull ache
somewhere. Maybe you feel like your breathing is constricted.
If youre afraid of feeling it and only feel half of it, how will you know whether or not its
gone? Notice it, feel it as best you can, but dont freak yourself out.
Although in some situations our therapist might want us to feel deeply a once-hurtful
situation, with EFT that is not required. EFT is meant to be as pain free as possible. Well
go into addressing intensity later on, in the chapters about Chasing the Pain and Aspects.
breathing
Not only do we need to get oxygen to our systems, but if we cant breathe well, we lock our-
selves out of the bliss modes that are our natural right. Breathing is the Key to the Gateway
to Stillness, that Quiet Place within.
Maybe you have constricted breathing. Youd start by rating how constricted the breath is (0
to 10, with 10 being most constricted).
Youd then repeat these phrases three times as you tap on the Karate Chop Point or rub the
Sore Spots:
even though I have this restricted breathing

Then tap the Sequence. Rate it again. Keep tapping until youre comfortable, or the
unwanted constriction is gone.
getting present
The EFT process is a very profound way to get present - here - right here - with all your
attention gathered in this one time and place. When your attention is scattered all over its
difficult to function well.
signals
The body/mind system gives us signals that tell us that something is out of order, that we
need to take care of ourselves. Thus, our system gives us little dull aches or nagging, niggly
thoughts to remind us to look within and realign our energy systems. If we keep on going
without paying attention, the pain often increases more and more until we cant ignore it
any more.
numbing out
In many cases, though, what our upbringing has taught us can really get in the way. If I
have a headache coming on, I might immediately think about taking something to ease the
pain.
What if the pain was there to tell me something I needed to know, to clear out of my
system so I could function better? My system has to find another way to signal me, because
I have numbed myself, now Im unable to listen to or heed the warning it sent me via the
headache or other bodily sensation I might have.
I used to get monstrous headaches. About three in the afternoon it would start with a slight
ache in my temples, and a little burning behind my eyes. If I didnt lie down right then and
take a short nap, I was a-gonners for the rest of the day, the evening and the whole night.
The headaches were so bad I couldnt even move a fraction of an inch. It crippled me for
years. I finally paid attention to the fact that I had to do something about my life not being
anything like I wanted it to be. I started to do something about it, and surprise, surprise,
the headaches went away.
better choices
Had I known about EFT, instead of having to lie down and take a nap or guzzle pain pills
in order to function, I could easily have gotten relief by tapping on the headaches. I might
have been able to make choices that were better for my life instead of having to resolve the
problems I had created for myself by going miles down the wrong roads. My life would
have probably been quite different.
If, in the past, I had had EFT, I most likely would have been able to calm myself by
dispelling a lot of the fears and nervousness that I was so familiar with that it seemed as if
they were part and parcel of my being. Now that Ive discovered that I can relieve myself,
I can see that I, in reality, was not being myself! I had no idea that being such a bundle of
frazzled nerves wasnt really me!
feelings for no reason

There are times when we might find ourselves being a bit snappy or irritable, impatient, or
just a little raw. Yesterday was like that for me. I heard myself kidding Freda in a
manner that would make most people react rather strongly - fortunately she knows me well
enough to let it roll off her back. But as I went through my day and kept hearing myself, it
finally came to me that I needed to tap on this.
I had forgotten to remember that I could tap on how I felt! It was such a low-level and
inconsequential feeling that I hadnt given it enough attention to think about tapping. So I
tapped on remembering to tap!
what, what?
But then what to tap on? I really had no particular issue in mind, other than being a bit
snippy. So I started with that: and I rated it at about an 8, as I could hear the edge of my
own voice. Then I stated:
even though I am feeling snippy,

and did the tapping sequence.
It quickly went down to about a 2. I did one more round and it was gone. But what came
next really surprised me. I was overcome with tears in a flash so fast It took my breath away.
The thought that came to me was that I was deeply disappointed in my life. No particular
thing came up as to why, but there was just a feeling of very deep disappointment.
So I rated that - about a 9 - and tapped on feeling disappointed.
It went to a zero very fast. In actuality, I knew I had nothing at all to feel disappointed in
about my life!
environmental factors
Then I noticed that, outside, the wind was blowing really hard, in big ferocious gusts. It
reminded me that, for some reason, I have always been really affected by the wind.
Im not enough of a scientist to know what kind of electrical role the wind plays in our
energetic lives, but I do know that when it blows like it did yesterday sometimes I feel crazy
and out of control. Like I need something I dont know what it is, or hungry for something
that doesnt exist.
I guess it could just be called anxiety, feeling jangled, maybe, a nervous disruption, really.
It feels like my nerve-endings are exposed and raw. I checked myself again, and yup!, I was
still feeling on edge. So I tapped on:
even though I feel crazy and out of control with this wind,
That brought me to a zero, and I was fine after that.

un-named forces
Other times Ill tap on a feeling or a botheration that I cant quite name.
I start with:
even though I have no idea what is going on with me, but I know my subconscious knows,
Images or memories often come up and are very clearly the energetic cause of that issue.
Just tapping brings up the images. Very handy.
feeling others feelings

As a child, I remember feeling really bad after every time this one person came over to our
house. Id go up to my room and cry and cry.
Later my mother would say how sorry she felt for that person, how hard a life she had.
It didnt dawn on me until many years later that the feelings I was experiencing were that
persons, not mine! I would have these feelings of deep sadness, or anger, or fear - and there
would be absolutely not one rational reason for it in my own life.
is it mine?
I still forget to check sometimes, but most times now I can feel if the distress is mine or
not. If theres no reason to feel as I do in that moment, I have probably absorbed someone
elses charge on something. Thats why people come away from reading or seeing the news
on TV feeling such strong emotions. Theres an enormous amount of fear, anger and sorrow
being blasted into our lives by the media, and we buy it hook, line and sinker. We buy it
and hold it tight.
Learn how to discern. Learn how to really feel whether or not the feeling is your own. Of
course, even if it isnt ours, we can still tap on it. We can tap on:
even though I feel (however it is)

to relieve ourselves of the pressure.
We dont need to be experiencing others feelings:

even though I feel others feelings
even though I cant help feeling others pain
even though I cant help taking on other peoples stuff
This doesnt mean you will become dead to others feelings! To be free of feeling (or becom-
ing identified with) others feelings simply means that you can recognize whose is whose,
and choose to steer clear of holding onto anyone elses feelings: even when there is cataclysm
around you, you can keep a level head. You are still capable of feeling - empathizing with
-others!
babies & little kids

Have you ever been in a store, a restaurant or a movie where theres a little child or baby
crying? They cry and cry and cry, and it gets louder and louder until you have to stop and
wonder what is going on? If those cries bug you, ask yourself why.
It could be that you have a belief that kids should behave in stores or movies. Or that babies
dont belong in movies or restaurants because they cry and upset everyone. Or it could be
because you remember what it was like going to the store as a kid and not get any treats. Or
maybe you can relate to the mother having trouble with the child. Or maybe you can feel
how the child is feeling.
tap on it!
Whatever reason we assign to the upset we feel upon hearing anothers cry, its our issue! We
can now tap on it all!
Ive become kind of a EFT monster - heres a little story about what happened not too long
ago in a local store.
using eft everywhere

Ordinarily I like to keep to myself as I go about shopping and doing errands.
But lately Ive been doing things that have surprised me. Here are a couple of
incidents that happened as I was out and about with my housemate, Freda.
at the warehouse
We were at the Warehouse, New Zealands version of Wal-Mart. I heard a little kid crying
a couple of aisles from us. I didnt think much of it at first, but it went on and on and on. I
began to wonder if it was sick or in need of some kind of assistance.
I moved closer and saw a mother and a couple of people conversing. They paid no atten-
tion to the womans son, who was maybe 2 years old, who was sitting in a shopping cart,
screaming at the top of his lungs, pulling a baseball cap hard over his eyes with both hands.
I was surprised that everyone was being so casual about him screaming away. Usually folks
here in NZ pick their kids up and try to hush them up.
This is Polite Land, so a crying or fussing child is unusual. I stood in the next aisle
unobtrusively watching for a few more moments. The friends left the woman, and she went
about shopping as if it was no big thing that her son was screaming bloody murder. I
figured he must do this a lot for her to be so non-chalant about it.
I walked up to her and asked if I might be of help, and could I be with her son for a few
minutes. She smiled, said, Oh hes just being 2, and then said, yes, go ahead.
tapping for a little boy

I leaned a bit toward him, squatting a bit down so I wouldnt look too big and scary to him
if he came out from under the hat to look.
I put my left hand near, but not on, his right shoulder, kind of cupping it energetically. As
I did a collarbone tap on myself, I started to make sounds like he was making - quite loud,
but not too loud. It surprised him into a slight pause, but he kept going.
I continued to make sounds like his, just to get a rapport with him (I do that with animals,
too, to get a line of communication with them when they are frightened or ill. They will
stop being so distant and look right at you. Then I talk with them just as if they understand
what I say. I really think they do).
I kept tapping my own collarbone. I visualized tapping the Sequence on myself, and, I said
out loud,
even though I am sooo upset I want to scream all day, and Im sooo mad that I cant get
anyones attention, and I am sooo mad I cant have my way (and so on),
I still am a great kid;
even though....
I did this for about two or three minutes.
relief starts to come in

He didnt stop screaming, but the tone of his cry changed, becoming softer and more
forced, as if he wanted to cry but was finding it hard to. There was a break as he lifted his
cap enough to quickly look at me, then resumed his yelling - but more restrained, as if he
wanted to stop but still wanted to cry too.
I continued to do the collarbone tapping as I just let words come into my head. Then
abruptly, it was time to stop. Dont know how I knew, I just stopped. It felt somehow that
if I went on, it would be over-riding his will, and I didnt want to do that. My intent was
solely to try to increase his comfort.
eft is great for kids

I spoke with the mom a bit, telling her briefly about EFT, and how it uses stimulation of
the meridians to smooth out unbalanced energy. She was a nurse, and was a little familiar
with some of the current energy ideas, but not EFT.
Interestingly, as we discussed this, the boy softened his screaming, as if he was listening, and
only resumed when we stopped!
The mom mentioned that her daughter also got really mad at times, and she didnt know
how to help her. I told her that EFT would help a lot with that, as well. We talked a bit
more, then parted.
who is that lady?

As Freda and I continued shopping down another aisle, the woman came up to us again.
The boy was quieter now, and as she came nearer, she said to me that he had asked for me!
I asked her what his name was, and went over and said hi, using his name. He pulled his
hat up just enough to see me, then yanked it down again as fast as he could. We did this a
few times, then I said bye-bye. He was quiet now! His mom thanked me, and they went off.
using movies to de-fuse

On the one hand, I dont want to be a non-feeling, numb, or insensitive person. On the
other, I also dont want to have an enormous charge on anything, either.
Life can be dangerous, yes. But I want to be able to walk through it without fear so I can
see straight enough to make appropriate choices. If I make choices out of fear or anger, I
can stray to and walk down paths I really would rather avoid.
So I go to guy movies. I dont particularly like them, but I want to see what guys
experience as their reality - as well as realities that are thrust upon them. There are a lot
of movies where there isnt one woman in the cast - as any important character, anyway. It
always amazes me when I see that half the worlds population is left out of those stories.
war
The movie Ive used the most is Apocalypse Now. I had heard stories about and read about
war, had seen news programs that showed scenes and aftermaths of fighting. But I had
never been exposed for any length of time to scenes that seemed so real, so desolate, so
desperately meaningless, so senseless, so anguishing, as in that movie. I had had no idea

how absolutely lost and alone those men could feel.
I had no idea how whimsical, cruel and remorseless the mechanism of a chain of command
could be - or the rigid imperative to follow it, even to everyones detriment. It came home
to me on a very tangible level how gruesomely senseless the whole idea of killing human
beings to ostensibly resolve problems really was.
its just a movie

At first I cried all night after movies like that. But now I tap on how I feel, and it becomes
obvious that the movie is just that, a movie.
Most times the movie is based around conflict caused by lack of communication or a lack
of the understanding of everyones common needs. Its easy to see where pride gets in the
way, or fear of reprisal, or some such restrictive emotion.
tell it like it is
One mans fearful actions or lack of ability to say how he feels can cause a chain of reac-
tions that eventually end up affecting everyone. For instance, in the movie Bay of Pigs, what
would have happened if the rookie CIA guy was too afraid to do anything it took to get
through to the inner circles command communications office so he could tell the Russian
president to not bomb the ships?
Everyone else was being dragged along by fear of authority, swelled up pride or not wanting
to look weak. But he challenged the Russian guy to be a man, instead of a reactionary fool
who would, by pushing The Button, cause the chain of disaster that would end in nuclear
war.
He had the courage of conviction, followed through, and got himself sacked (he thought)
by following his inner conviction. He told it like it was, for him.
Most of these war movies show a brawny comeradery that is built up in the armed forces,
like a family substitute, an illusory way to be a real man. But the important thing they show
is how important it is to be a real man by telling the real truth, being real with emotions, and
taking the consequences of the actions that are wrapped around that truth.
So when I go to movies like that, I use them to find places in my mind where Im afraid of
someones reprisal, for instance, or authority, or being in pain, or telling my own truth. I
use the feelings I feel in these movies to clear my own system.
An interesting aside
When Martin Sheen was being filmed in Apocalypse Now, he had a heart attack. As the story
is told, as he lay on the stretcher waiting to go the hospital, he expressed to his wife how
afraid he was. She leaned over him and whispered, Its only a movie!! It is said that this one
sentence turned his mind around to the point that he was able to relax and decide to live.
Tapping for the non-human!

My computer was acting up. It sounded like a sick cow. I do so much work on my com-
puter I felt panicked. What do I do about this? Is there even any other Mac person in Gore?
In the Southland? I feel so alone in this faraway land halfway across the world from home.
And different. Really different from everyone here - to the point of feeling very lonely
sometimes.
I wondered if I could tap for the computer - as well as myself. A little bizarre, but - so?
Even though I feel like a complete idiot tapping for a computer

an outlander
unacceptable and crazy
all alone
sick
I dont know how to get fixed
there is something major wrong with me
it will never get fixed
no-one knows how
no-one even wants to help me
No-one can help me
I choose to experience optimal health and to know at my core that I am loved
Tapping for the computer and myself felt strange, but after about three rounds, it stopped
its lowing sound! I had a hit what was really wrong with it, and called the computer
place in a nearby town to see if I could get them to fix it. Which they did And we both,
computer and I - felt better!
making sounds
There are times when I have no idea what it is Im dealing with, but I know Im off. Or
when I feel so strongly about something that I find it impossible to form words. So I just
say:
even though I am arrrrggggghhhhh
even though I am so waaaaaaahhhhhh

Point is, there is something off balance. It really doesnt matter what its name is, as long as
we can pinpoint it and address it. Our subconscious knows what it is, where it is and how
to get to it. Let it go there and do it! Just being able to express it feels good - but being able
to tap on it and let it go is awesome good fortune!
So just start where you are. Even if there is no name for how you feel - just grooowwll or
hoooowwwl and let images, sounds or feelings come - or not - as they will. The point is
that the process can help smooth out or completely take away that pain.
Penelope
Penelope was upset about how her husband treated her when he drank. With others, he
was the life of the party, but at home, became abusive to her. She told me that she had tried
to tap on it, but was unable to find words that felt right to her, or that resulted in any real
change for herself when she was done tapping.
be specific
Penelope told me that she had been tapping on feeling bad, feeling hurt, and other such
global terms. So I explained to her that although we can tap on general issues with success,
sometimes we need to get a bit more specific. She said she found it difficult to find the
right words.
I explained to her that its best to start right where we are, and asked her exactly what
prompted her to meet with me.
She said that he had yelled at her and she felt squashed. Well! That sound like a great place
to start!
I held my arms out as wide as I could, and

said, if this is a ten, and my hands together in
front of me is a zero, how intense is the feeling
around this? Eight. So we tapped:
even though he yells at me and

Im afraid of him and that he might hurt me
and I feel humiliated and squashed
We got that down to about a three, then a zero.
an energy pattern
Through talking about it, we discovered that there was a repetitive energetic scenario: he
yelled at her to the point that she cried, then he would soften and console her. She had
tried to harden herself to the yelling, since she had become tired of crying all the time, but
she didnt want to go through the pattern anymore.
We tapped on:
even though he wants to feel powerful but cant unless Im hurt and
he has to save me to be a man and
is threatened by my strength
I give up having to be weak for him to save me or love me
earlier
I asked her if she remembered the first time he had yelled at her, where she had felt
squashed. She talked about how they had gone together to a social event when they were
both in their twenties. The event was held by a group of her co-workers at a college.
She was concerned that they wouldnt accept him, and asked him not to talk only about
soccer and building, but to be open to what the others were talking about. He reacted by
yelling at her and saying, among other things, Who the hell do you think you are?
Penelopes intensity on that was a raging 10. We tapped:
even though he yelled at me

and I was very upset
and I hated it
and I felt squashed and
I hear who the hell do you think you are
even earlier
Another situation came up as we were tapping. We got the yelling/squashed down to a zero,
and then she told me about how at the age of 15, Penelope had told her mother that she
believed her mother didnt love her.
Her mother had yelled at her and denied such a thing, and
Penelope felt even less loved than ever. That was a full ten.
even though my mother yelled at me and

I felt squashed and
I felt even less loved than before and
my mother didnt love at me
being perfect
We then discussed how she had taken on the impossible task
of trying to be and do everything perfect so she could be loved
and accepted. How difficult that was, and how, in truth, we are all perfect in our imperfect
ways. How important it is to accept ourselves first.
If we dont accept who we are, then who will? And how difficult it might be to live with a
perfect person! We tapped more:
even though I have to be prefect to get my mothers approval and

my husbands love
and it just makes it worse for me to try to be perfect
and I hate it
standing up for herself

Penelope talked about how she fell apart when she tried to stand up for herself and say what
she was really thinking. Recently, after having not said anything to him about his drinking/
abuse for a long time, Penelope decided she would try.
She asked her husband if he had to do that at the party they had been to. As she spoke
the words, he started yelling at her and she collapsed, not being able to find the strength to
stand up or find the right words to way.
time and practice

It takes practice and patience to come out of a longtime, squashed shell. We talked about
how, if I gave her a hammer, its not likely that she would turn around and build a man-
sion right away. Shed have to get used to the hammer, try it out, develop muscles, and start
practicing on some old wood no-one cares about. Get her hand and the rest of her body
attuned to using the hammer and any other tools shed be building with.
Its the same with coming back to ourselves - we need to build our strength, and practice.
Get the rest of our system used to new energy running through it.
The system has to get used to the new tool, the new information, and the new way of being
that is a result of tapping - integrating it into our experience as smoothly and effectively as
we can. We cant expect to be able to speak up for ourselves in a strong, determined way
after having been beaten down for so long. After having been undermined, unable to even
think of the words, especially in any cohesive, meaningful order. So we tapped:
even though I cant think of the words

and he yells and I fall apart and
I get so upset I collapse
I choose to build my strength slowly and know that my subconscious will show me the
right words to say.
communication
We discussed the possibility of getting together with some of her friends in a group, and
practicing speaking. Tapping to get resentment and fear out of the way. Speaking from
their heart instead of their fear. Getting words, gestures and inflection back into their
communication. Coming from I instead of an accusatory you.
what is enough?
I asked her if leaving him was something she had considered. She said that after 48 years of
marriage, if it got to that point, yes, but she would rather not - she still loved him.
I asked her what that point was. She said that if, after a year from now he still hasnt come
around and she still feels frightened of him, it would be time for her to leave the
marriage. She was OK with that.
We both have taken heart from a friend who has watched her husband change as she,
herself, has gone quietly about taking self-empowering steps in her own life. He had been,
in her mind, a cantankerous, silent, taciturn man who would never share an iota of infor-
mation or news with her, even things having to do with the family.
Now when he comes home he asks her what shes been up to, tells her what hes been doing,
and discusses things with her. He even started asking her to go to movies with him - and
took her out for a Valentines Day dinner and movie! All simply by tapping on and by her-
self! When we get safe, our world and people in it become safe.
why are we together?

I believe that relationships have purpose. If there is no longer any purpose to our relation-
ship, we need to re-look at what we have, changing what were doing accordingly.
I asked Penelope if there was a creative aspect to her marriage, to which she replied that
there certainly was! I suggested that she could focus more on that, and expand upon it with
him, rather than zeroing in on what she didnt like.
A friend of mine once wondered:
Why are we always looking at what we dont like and dont have,
instead of focusing on where we want to go, what we want to do,
and who we want to play work with?
Yeah. Why do we do that?
making the first move

I suggested she increase how much she complimented him or talked about how much she
appreciated what they did together or have created as a pair - everyone needs appreciation
and attention. To do it with as much real love and affection as she could - not just utter
empty phrases - people know when were lying!
We talked about how hard it is to begin to compliment the people were angry at or afraid
of. Sometimes it takes a bit of work to start being complimentary again. But we all like to
be acknowledged. Since she was the one aware of the problem, she was the one with the
power, and it was her responsibility to make the moves, since he was still in reaction.
It can be hard to make the first loving move if we have resentment. I read something the
other day, and forgive me if its yours because I cant remember who said it, but it went like
this:
Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.
Resentment eats us from the inside out. If we tap on our feelings, get clear, and allow our
natural love to just be, were safe to be around.
If Penelope tapped on herself, perhaps itd be safe for her husband, who is accustomed to
protecting himself by being rough, to drop his shield, even if only for a minute. It may only
be for a moment, but its a win, right there, both for the person who became safe, and for
the person who felt previously afraid. We tapped:
even though Im angry at my husband for what hes done and

hes been ugly and abusive and
has hurt me and Im afraid hell hurt me again
I choose to look for what is good and what I like about him and
to tap on my doubts, fears and insecurities so I can become clear enough to see him
and his worth
and my own!
and then...
even though I feel ugly inside, afraid and weak and

just a weak weenie, poor me....
Dont ask me what made me say that, but when I did we had cleared so much that, instead
of being offensive it was hilarious, and we both lost it in gales of laughter. Color returned to
Penelopes face, and her voice was strong and musical.
Her intensity rating was down to less than one now, but she still had a bit of a hole feel-
ing in her heart, and a feeling like a knot in her belly. She was very much aware that she
had a problem, wanted to change it, and had the tools with which to do so. She knew she
was the one with the power.
even though he makes me sick and

I feel like I have to vomit Im so stressed out
I deeply and completely love and accept myself and
I am willing to consider forgiving myself and him for anything we have done to contribute
to this
clearing by imagery
That done, I had her close her eyes and tell me what the hole in her heart looked like. Then
I had her go in with an imaginary fire hose that squirted out a big stream of white light
to clean out any residue or remaining grime in the hole. Then I had her change the lights
color, and fill the hole with the vital, rich red that was now coming out of the hose. And
once again we changed the color, this time to gold. Now she covered her whole heart with
the gold, and put a lovely white sparkling ribbon around it.
the knot
Now we looked at the knot in her belly. The rope was grey, rough, thick, and stiff. She went
in and untied the knot, and slowly removed it.
I had her hold it up in front of her, and gradually run down its length with her other hand,
covering it with light as she did. After a couple runs down the rope I asked her what it
felt like now. Penelope said it was smoother and the color had changed to white. She then
turned it into a little ball of cotton, and blew it away.
Then I had her go back in, clean, and fill the place where the rope had been. She came back
when she was ready after taking a couple deep breaths.
When she opened her eyes, it was as if there was another person sitting in front of me - she
was bright, alert, and her eyes were shining with love and ease.
marriage or divorce?
Theres something else I want to say here. We marry someone for good reasons (most of the
time, anyway!). In our daily struggle with kids, cars, money, war or whatever, it is so easy to
forget we used to love and adore the other person of our partnership: he or she can become
the target for everything-that-is-wrong-with-our-marriage/life.
This is a cop-out. Ive talked with more than a few people who divorced who tell me how at
first, afterwards, things were great, but then the same old stuff came up again. Sometimes I
wonder how necessary it is to divorce to get personal resolution. Try to remember the per-
son you married. If he or she just isnt - or you arent - there anymore, maybe its then time
to move on.
Asthma and expression

Marie was a slim, trim, strong - shy - woman in her thirties. She was curious
to see if EFT could help with her asthma.
Although she had been a massage therapist for some years, and had a fairly good grasp of
energy theories, she was worried that EFT couldnt possibly change anything. No other
therapy she had tried has worked, and she was allergic to the conventional medicines and
sprays she was given by her GP.
We carefully rated her constricted breath. It was worse than usual, a nine. She was very
obviously struggling to breathe fully. We tapped on:
even though I have this nine constricted breath and

I have to struggle to control it and
I have to struggle to contain my fear and
it makes me feel weak and
Im afraid I might pass out driving
I deeply and completely love and accept myself and my body
Within about five rounds we got a fifty per cent improvement in her breathing. Marie
could sit up better with more strength in her back, and had more light in her eyes, and
wasnt straining so hard to breathe.
mother
I asked her if there was an emotional component here. She just laughed! Yeah, she said,
My mother was a brute. She beat me and made me do all the heavy work around the
house, take care of my younger brothers and sisters (seven of them), and never let me utter
one word. I ran away as a thirteen year old.
I asked her if there was a situation she could pick out of all that that would have been a key
incident that we could tap on. So we tapped on:
even though my mother didnt love me and

screamed at me as I left the house that day and told me Id never be any good and
I was a mean, nasty girl and
never to come back and
I havent said much to anyone since then
alert signals
Here, she burst out in a huge rage, hardly able to sit down. We jumped up and walked
around, tapping our collarbone points until she could talk again.
She was very embarrassed, not accustomed to so vehemently revealing her feelings,
especially in front of a complete stranger.
I assured her that since her mind/body system felt safe, it was allowing the triggers and
signals that we ordinarily call symptoms to come out and reveal their messages. Those
messages, although coming out as different pains, feelings, or strong emotions, usually say
the same thing: Hey! Pay attention! Heres some disrupted energy that needs to be healed,
realigned with its own original natural pathways! DO something!
In the past, we wanted to do something, but didnt know how. Now we do. We tapped
some more:
even though I can never say how I feel and

Id for sure get punished if I did and
my throat closes up when I try and
my voice is weak and unsteady and
I still cant breathe completely fully
I deeply and completely accept myself and my ability to easily say what I need and
want to say
I kinda slipped that one in on her, and as she said it, she lit up like a hundred watt bulb.
Yeah! Thats it!
I easily say what I need and want to say! And not only that, but I do it safely, too!
She jumped ahead of me on that one - that was going to be next. Quick study!
We did more rounds, doing positive choices tapping, installing the possibility that breathing
fully was not only within her capability, but so was safely and happily expressing herself as
well.
a note on Safety & privacy

Many adults have issues that they feel are way too sensitive to tell anyone, even in a private
session.
Since EFT is so flexible, they can use EFT to work on their issues, anyway. We can just say
hmm hmm hmm instead of naming the issue!
The subconscious knows exactly whats going on, and will

direct the energy to just the right spots to clear the issue up.
This modification can be used with kids, too. Kids often dont want or dont know how to
express whats going on with them, or dont like to tell people what theyre feeling. Its great
that we dont have to say the words when we tap. Pretty cool.
Be present: start right where youre at.

Psychological Reversal
Chapter nine
WHAT IS IT?
Any imbalances in the bodys energy system affect the psychology.
Many times the energy in our bodys electrical system has reversed its natural polarity.
We call that a reversal. It it is also called a Psychological Reversal. Reversal of the bodys
polarity has a huge impact. Psychological reversal blocks any attempt at healing: if psycho-
logical reversal is present, there will be no healing progress, no matter what modality is used.
an example
What happens if the batteries in my radio are in backwards?
Nothing! Why? The poles are reversed, the circuit is broken. It wont
run. You can paint the radio another color, twist the knobs, turn it
upside down, stretch it, tweak it or change stations - but without
the batteries put in in correctly, it just wont work.
Same thing with the body. If positive is where negative ought to

be and vice versa, how can it/we function?
-+
how does this happen? + -
Lets say we have a plate with a thin layer of sand on it. Its
obvious to anyone that if we jolt that plate, the sand will go
any which way.
Same with our bodys energy system when our energy gets jolted.
And unless consciously re-directed, it doesnt go back into the
- +
+-
oops!
same position it started in. Jolted enough, the energy simply goes awry, and reverses.
With all the multiple shocks, disruptions, bumps, traumas and jolts we get in our lives, its a
wonder we function at all!
trauma
Trouble is, traumatization which causes our energy to become reversed, also, most of the
time, causes us to make a possibly incorrect decision or have an incorrect perception that
goes right along with the reversed energy.
Heres an example. At the age of five, I went to a beach with my family. There were big
shore breakers, and since my mother knew I loved the water, she had to keep an eye on me
so I wouldnt get thrashed by the waves or get sucked out by the undertow.
But she was distracted for a split second, in which time I got simultaneously thrashed and
pulled out under the wave. I was terrified. I couldnt breathe or see or hear, and the water
was so strong it felt as if I was going to go out to sea forever.
response
My dad saw me disappear, though, and ran to grab me out of the surf. Instead of comfort-
ing me with Aw, you poor thing! and a lot of hoo-ha, though, he turned it around for my
mind by saying Wow! What a courageous girl you are to brave such big waves! Its a good
thing youre so strong and able to swim! He went on like that until I stopped crying.
Then he waded out with me until we were beyond the shore breakers, and showed me how
to deal with getting pushed over by a wave until I was good at it.
if....
If he hadnt done that, its very likely that I could have developed an extreme fear of the
water, and ended up with a belief like the ocean is a killer, or Ill die if I go in, or even
near, that water.
I could have ended up shaking and nervous, heart pumping fast and sweaty hands every
time I even thought about going within 50 feet of the water.
I could have had a major reversal there, but didnt, because my father helped me to redirect
my energy in a positive way.
People do experience reversals, which cause phobias. And not just about water. About
heights, flying, the opposite sex, sex itself, driving, being out in the open, snakes, animals
and insects, dentists, public speaking - any number of phobias for any number of situations.
It has been discovered that in most cases, if someone has a phobia, there is a psychological
reversal.
how do i know if i am reversed?

If I have had a problem for a long time, gone to a doctor, chiropractor, acu-
puncturist, body worker, etc., and they all helped a little or even a lot but it
didnt last, chances are that my system is reversed.
If I work really hard at my job or at my business, and get within a hairs

breadth of succeeding and suddenly everything falls apart - time after
time - you can bet I am reversed on succeeding.
If I have been depressed for years you can pretty much assume I have
been reversed for as many.
If I am addicted to smoking, alcohol, working too much, sex, abu-

sive relationships, or have compulsive behavior, I will most likely be
reversed.
If I tap the Sequence without the even though...I accept section on a

problem and get nowhere, it is very likely that I am reversed.
electrical reversal
Our energy works like an electrical circuitry in the body system. When our wires are
healthy and in their proper places within our system, uncrossed, unfrayed and uncut, we
work OK. Just like a battery hooked up to a light bulb.
When our circuits are shorted out or crossed, its as if you crossed the wires in the back of
your radio. It will sound like a zzzt!, a crackling noise, when the wires are crossed, and the
radio wont work, or may even burn out! When our wires are crossed, we feel burnt out
and/or cant function well. When the circuit is closed, it operates in a normal fashion.
eft bypass
It is possible to use muscle checking, or kinesiology, to test if we are reversed or not. The
simplicity of the EFT process in itself by-passes the need to find out if we are reversed - its
unnecessary to check for reversals or what meridians to use each and every time. This is
achieved by the inclusion of an anti-reversal segment right in the process.
even though
Thats why we say the even though...I accept part at the
beginning of every tapping Sequence. Its called a Setup
statement because we are setting ourselves up for tapping by
unreversing any reversals that may be present.
The statement of the problem or issue - the even though I have

this feeling, issue or problem part - tells the subconscious what we
want to address, and automatically undoes any reversal. This also
gives the system a chance to express something it has held onto for
probably a long time. Its been squished back down into the system
without a chance to voice itself.
i accept myself
The I accept myself part reminds the subconscious to remember the
Core Self, our Deep Self, who We Really Are, which is deeper and
stronger than the broken or reversed identity we have lived within for so long.
I dont have a clue why these statements reverse the reversal. All I can tell you is that they
do, and continue using them. Ive seen too many cases of it working to dispute it. It may
simply be our intentionality. Who knows?
finding the words for weight loss

Fran wanted to get to a certain goal weight. We discussed her fears behind losing weight.
What would happen in her life if she lost weight and started looking good? What would
she not be able to handle? These were clues to the issues blocking her ability to get to her
goal weight.
She came up with statements that were the opposite of her real intended goal. Then we
used them as the setup statements, such as:
even though I dont really want to lose weight

Id be scared to lose weight
Id have to handle men looking at me if I lost weight
Id rather die than lose weight
Id lose all my friends if I lost weight
Next she said the I deeply and completely accept myself part, and then use the phrases
stated above as tapping phrases while tapping on each point down the face and body:
EB point: dont want to lose weight

SE point: scared
UE point: cant handle men
UN point: rather die, etc., and so on.
reversals list
Here is a whole long list of possible reversal statements. See what others you can add to
the end of the list!
I cant ______________________ (example: I cant give up smoking)

I wont ______________________
I dont want to ______________________
It would be bad for me to __________________
If I __________ , it would change me too much
If I ________________ Id have to be responsible (example: If I had money,....)
Forever will happen before I _________________
Its impossible for me to _____________________
I will never ______________________

Im blocked about ______________________
Id rather whine about ______________________
Id rather complain than take action to ______
I like not ______________________
I love not ______________________
Who would I be if I ______________________
How would I act if I ______________________
No one would like me if I ____________________
Im doubtful I will ever ______________________
I hesitate to ever ______________________
Im reluctant to ______________________
Im procrastinating about ___________________
Im in pain about ______________________
I hurt to even think about ___________________
Im sick at the very thought of _______________
I feel ill/hurt at the very thought of interacting with __________________________
It would kill me to ______________________
Id rather die than to ______________________

I dont know why I cant ____________________
Its too hard to ______________________
I like being so discouraged about ___________

Some part of me doesnt want me to ________
Im not ready to have ______________________
Not having _____________ has been my friend
Im scared to ______________________
Id feel deprived if ______________________
Id feel starved if I ______________________

No one will love me if I ______________________
I wont be valued if I ______________________
I wont be respected if I _____________________
I wont be honored if I ______________________
No-one would listen to me if I ________________
It would threaten others too much if I ________
People would think I am ____________ if I _____
If I ___________ Id have to take care of myself
Id be all alone if I ______________________
Id be abandoned if I ______________________
Id be betrayed if I ______________________
Id be ripped off if I ______________________
It would be too much trouble if I _____________
I dont have enough energy to ______________
Id feel overwhelmed if I _____________________
It would be too confusing if I ________________
My friends/family/co-workers wouldnt approve if I ______________________
They would think I am _________ if I _________
Id have to hide if I ______________________

I will never, never ______________________
I hear who do you think you are if I _________
I have no right to ______________________
I dont deserve to ______________________
I really shouldnt ______________________
How could I ever think I could _______________
Id lose _________________ if I ___________
Not having (being/doing) _________ is how its meant to be
God wouldnt love me if I ___________________

Id be a sinner if I ______________________
God doesnt want me to ____________________
Its not my place to ______________________

Id be shunned if I ______________________
God would punish me if I ____________________
I love to focus on what I dont have rather than what I do
I love to complain
I dont want to see another way so I prefer to stay this way
I hate being pushed so I prefer to stay this way
I hate being told what to do so I prefer to stay this way
I feel like I have no choice so I prefer to stay this way
If someone tells me what to do, Ill do the opposite, even if I know its bad for me
This not having __________________ is my friend
Giving up ______________________ equals pain
I cant decide to ______________________ so I prefer to stay this way
Someone else has to decide for me to _______ so I prefer to stay this way
If I ____________ no-one will take care of me
Note: reversals
Reversals are most likely to be
present in the majority of cases of
addiction/craving.
Its really effective if you make your setup statement worded as specifically as possible in
order to correlate exactly with how youre feeling.
You may have to try several versions in order to get just the right phrase, but usually
after a little practice, its easy to come up with the perfect phrase out of the blue - the
subconscious knows just what to say if we will just let it!
Taking Apart the Sequence

Chapter ten
What is the issue?

Sometimes, we know there is something amiss, but we might not have specific words to
express whats going on. What do we do? We feel it. We listen for the wording of our
thoughts and spoken words. We look within. We become aware of our thoughts.
Freda was afraid the dog next door would jump the fence and bite her. But she says she
doesnt know what to say since she is having difficulty feeling it, and has no rating for it.
Since shes one of those people who have a hard time recognizing and naming their feelings,
I asked her what are her thoughts about the dog, and her seeming vulnerability.
Whew!
Different story!
What Ive read about this kind of dog, she says, tells me that they easily jump even high
fences, they bite you and dont let go.... Do you see where to go here? From her thoughts,
it was simple to construct these phrases:
even though Im afraid that dog will jump our fence

even though Im afraid the dog will bite me
and not let go
even though I feel powerless to stop it or protect myself
See how easy it can be to glean information to use for tapping? Then I asked her how true
it was that she was afraid and powerless. She said, 100%! Theres her rating.
bit by bit
Sometimes its too painful to feel the whole thing all at once. So we do little bit by little bit.
example
Today I came home from a walk and was feeling wildly unsettled. I had no real reason I
could think of for feeling that way, and no place in me that was specifically out of balance.
My whole system just wanted to scream and make noise! But I didnt want to feel that way
when I sat down to write!
feel it
I felt how I felt, and put words to it: jangled, wild, unsettled, nuts, scattered. Sounds like an
energy disruption to me!
Rate it
As we have discussed before, unless we can get a reference point for where we begin, we
cant tell if we have gotten anywhere.
Since I felt pretty scattered - my heart was pumping fast and shallow, my breathing was
rapid and short, my face was flushed and my mind felt unclear and too scattered to be able
to focus well - I rated it all at about a 9. I didnt give it a ten because I was still able to focus
on the problem without losing my ability to be present completely.
Write the rating down

I wrote down a 9.
The setup phrase

Acknowledge the issue.
even though I feel/do or have _________________
We have to know where we are before we can move to the next place. When we acknowl-
edge the problem, we are telling our subconscious what it is we want to work on, what we
want to focus our attention on, so we can make another choice, and know weve moved
when were done.
By tapping on the Karate Chop point or rubbing the Sore Spot, I like to think that were
telling the body to wake up and pay attention. Were addressing our system, making our
intention for change known to our subconscious/energy system.
how?
We do this with the intention, the voice, and the Karate Chop point or Sore Spot.
the setup statement

Speak the setup statement out loud, accompanied by the I accept phrase, repeating all of it
three times.
Heres how it looks:

even though I feel/have/do __________________


So, what I said for myself was:
even though I feel wild and scattered

and my heart is beating too fast
I have this short, shallow breath and
my face is flushed and red and
my mind is unclear
The accept myself phrase

Even with these problems we still deeply and completely accept ourselves, anyway. So we
say:
We may have made a bunch of mistakes and blunders in our lives, been ill or bad tem-
pered or even outright nasty. But somewhere under it all is that Perfect Eternal Self, that
Something that is the Essence of our Being.
The I deeply and completely accept myself phrase directs our subconsciousness back to the
knowingness, the feeling of, and connection to our own eternal perfection, our Source-ness.
It reminds us that even though weve had all these experiences and upsets and things gone
wrong (and right!), we are still absolutely one hundred percent OK, acceptable, loveable and
perfect in the eyes of the Divine, whatever that is for each of us.
So I did the setup, accept phrases, three times:
even though I feel wild and scattered

tap on it
Then I tapped on it, using the words scattered, wild as I went down my face, collarbone
and under the arm. I did three rounds.
choose
Dr. Patricia Carrington, an innovative therapist in the USA, uses one more step that I like
to integrate in my own process, as well. Its an I choose phrase. It finishes off the whole
thing nicely.
Like this: I go through most of the upsetting stuff first, then when I get to a point where I
have had a lot of release, I add what I would prefer instead of the upset, situation or state
that I was in at first.
The choice phrase:

and I choose ____________________
Since I already knew how I wanted to feel, I added:
and I choose to feel calm and clear.
even though I still feel wild and scattered

and I choose to feel calm and clear.
Re-feel, rate, write it

I re-felt my system, and noticed that my breath was calmer and more even, my heart rate
was slower, and my mind was more clear and able to focus. But I still felt a bit off, so I
rated it at a 3.
one more round

Then I tapped using the reminder phrase scattered, wild for two rounds down one side of
the body, then calm and clear for two rounds down the other side of the body. Zero!
Ready to write! Yes!
On the next couple of pages are outlines of the setup/process.

The BASIC Sequence

1. Feel the pain/sensation or see/imagine the issue
2. Write it down briefly
3. Rate the intensity zero to ten
4. Write it down
5. Do the set-up statement:
Say statements a, b & c in a complete set three times as you
rub the Sore Spot or firmly strike the Karate Chop Point:
a. Even though I _______(insert your phrase here)____
b. I deeply and completely accept myself

(or, if for a child: Im a great kid, or another appropriate phrase)
c. and (when you are ready to do so)

I choose _______(insert your phrase here)____
6. Do the Tapping Sequence:

Repeat the gist of the Even Though phrase as you tap down one side of the body
Repeat the gist of the I choose phrase as you tap down the other side of the body
7. Re-feel, re-rate zero to ten

8. Write your rating and any notes down.
An example:
1. I cant sleep
2. Write it down
3. Feel it/rate it
4. Write it down
5. The Setup statement:
Rubbing the Sore Spot or striking the Karate Chop point, repeat three times:
1. Even though I cant sleep

2. I deeply and completely accept myself
3. and I choose to sleep well and wake up refreshed
6. Tap on the problem:
Repeat cant sleep, cant sleep, etc., as you tap on the points on one side of the body
with the tips of your first two fingers
Do two rounds (top to bottom is a round) minimum; do more if it feels right
Tapping on the choice:

Repeat sleep well, awaken refreshed, sleep well, awaken refreshed, etc.,
as you tap on the points on the other side of the body.
Do a minimum of two rounds tapping. Do more if it feels right.

Add the Finger Points and/or The Gamut if you want to add further impact.
7. Feel new intensity
8. Write your rating down with any notes

Later on Ill talk about other tapping points and variations of the phrases to intensify, speed
up or simplify the process, or to use when you feel stuck.
EFT is ultimately a very flexible process,

and many changes and variations of it
can be made while still achieving
excellent results.
Note:
In the interest of interesting reading, I have used a shorter way to record the phrasings of
the sessions Ive included in this book.
This is how a session usually sounds:

Even though I have __________________


But if I wrote it that way, you - and I, in the writing - would be bored to tears by the time
you got through reading the sessions.
So, I have elected to write them this way:
Even though I have this (one problem) _______

and this (other problem/feeling) ____________
and this (other problem/feeling) ____________
I choose _______________
This lets you know that the person whose session it is worked on all those things - but
not all at once in one setup or choice! I insert I choose phrases when theyre used in the
sessions. Im leaving out the reminder phrases as it would be redundant, and deadly boring
to read!
remember
1. Feel the pain/sensation or see/imagine the issue.
2. Write it down.
3. Rate it one to ten.
4. Write down the rating.
5. Do the Setup/Accept phrases,
and the Choice phrases withe Karate Chop or Sore Spots
6. Tap the Sequence
7. Re-feel it/re-rate it, as many times as you need

8. Write it down.
I Deeply and Completely

Accept Myself
Chapter eleven
the acceptance statement

This phrase is an absolutely essential element of the Setup statement.
Ive seen a lot of people get really hung up with this phrase. Were just not used to saying -
much less thinking! - I accept myself, and sometimes we balk at it. I spent a lot of time just
working on that part of it, myself. I realized that not only did I not accept myself, much
less deeply, but I had a lot that I actually hated about myself. Hard to admit, but I did. So
if you say this: I deeply and completely accept myself, and dont believe it, dont feel like
youre the only one!
work it!
Just take that one phrase and work it till you do feel acceptance. Theres a tremendous peace
when you come to the end of working it thats worth every second of questioning.
Dig into it. Why do you not accept yourself?

There are many possible reasons why not. No matter what they are, underneath it all, every
last one of us is OK. In our Deep Self, our eternal self, we are OK. Whatever comes up
for you when you say the phrase, stop and tap on that, and take as long as it takes to get
through it. Its worth it - indescribably so - to be OK with that one phrase.
Here are some possible phrases Ive seen people use:

I just dont accept myself my mother might think I was vain
I hate myself my father would disapprove
I feel guilty for loving myself my brothers would laugh at me
Im selfish who do you think you are?
Im stupid how dare you!
Im too much for people Im a bad person
this one little phrase is sooooo important

As I told you, when I first started to use EFT, I had a really difficult time saying the I
accept myself phrase. I was surprised, because I had done a massive amount of work using
Avatar tools on that particular issue - being 100% OK with me.
I realized that every time I tapped, I was secretly thinking, in the back of my mind after
each time I said it, that I was NOT acceptable. And no, I did very definitely not accept
myself. I decided to drag it out to the nubs and work on that particular issue all by itself. I
started with:
Even though I dont accept myself,

I choose to accept myself.
But it went deeper, and I went through several layers of it:
Even though I dont like myself

I dont like my life
I feel like Im doing my life wrong
I hate it that I hate my life
I hate it that I hate myself
I hate it that I dont accept myself
I hate it that I hate it
I dont accept myself not accepting myself
I still deeply and completely accept myself.
and I choose to deeply and completely accept myself
to like myself
to love my life
know that Im doing my life right
and I choose to love and accept myself no matter what
At that last, something Clicked inside me, and a peace came over me like an enormous
wave. It swept through my whole body, and I felt myself relax in a way I have never before
experienced. It was as if something had lifted, and I knew it would never return.
accepting me
By getting myself to go through the I accept myself part of the EFT setup until I felt
really comfortable saying I accept myself, I have felt different for the first time in my life:
Peaceful. I DO accept and love me now. Whew! I NEVER could have honestly said that
before.
a more powerful peace

Is this the peace we all seek?
Could it really be attained by political action? Protesting? Wars? Civil disobedience? I dont
think so. This is such a personal peace.
Im thinking about the way it would affect our planet and our socio-economic-political
arena if everyone had - and liberally used! - this technology.
What if we were all so happy we didnt even think about raiding anyone elses borders, land,
oil fields or honey jars?
What if the people in the positions of power had this technology and used it - would the
money they now spend for defense be used instead for the real welfare of the people?
Would they have the need to love power-over people or the planet, or would they use power
in service to Love? For the nurturing of every person, and the expansion of our potential as
creative human beings?
What a thought!
your reactions
What about you? What thoughts run through your mind when you look in the mirror, or
get a compliment, or find someone else looking at you?
What kind of messages are written on the inner walls of your mind?
If someone gives you a compliment, do you fall back and say, Oh this old dress! Its so
old!
Or how about this one, when someone says you did something so well, Oh, no, I dont
think so, I couldve done so much better!
energy food
When someone gives us a compliment, theyre feeding us with their energy. And when we
fall back and avoid the compliment, we are refusing their gift, their food for us.
Try this the next time you get a compliment.

Feel the energy running through your body - thats the part that we pull away from because
it feels uncomfortable. Its not part of our numb defense system, and feels dangerous or
unsafe, somehow.
Breathe in a slow, deep breath, and wait one whole second as you ponder what the person
said. It may seem a long second, but the other person wont even notice.
Looking them right in the eye, say, softly and sincerely, Thank you.
Youll find that itll be a lot easier to receive a compliment from now on, and that youll get
better and better at it. And if you really really accept yourself, youll get better at it even
faster and even easier.
beautiful nails
Louise wanted to quit biting her nails.
As soon as Louise started talking, I had to do a silent Easy Comfort Procedure (see chapter
19) on myself. Her mind works in a relaxed, slow, and lavish way, being very kinesthetic (a
very physical, body-oriented) person.
I had an extra difficulty in relating to her, as my own mind works extremely fast, being a
visual/auditory sort. At times I have difficulty slowing down enough to really hear what
people like Louise are saying. It wasnt until I did my long bout with acceptance that I
could slow down enough to realize I needed to! Isnt it great that now I can understand why
it might be hard to converse with someone, and do something about it!
breathing
Breathing is the Gateway to our inner world.
When we allow ourselves to slow down and just notice our breath go in and out, in and
out, the conscious mind settles into a rote function and the unconscious mind is free to
communicate with us. I had to do a lot of conscious breathing in order to get myself out of
the way for the session. I had Louise breathe with me, as well, so we could be entrained.
entrainment
Have you ever seen those old-fashioned clocks that have the pendulum swinging down
under them? Did you know that if two or more of them are placed in a room together, the
pendulums will swing out of synch with each other for a while, but gradually, they begin
to shift their swing, until all of a sudden you notice they are all swinging in a concerted
motion! Yup! True! Its an amazing sight. Thats called entrainment - everyone swinging or
working or singing - or breathing - together. All at once, at one rhythm, one beat.
When two or more people breathe together, a synchronicity is created. It enables each
person to feel or sense the other better, to resonate with them.
I start off all my workshops with a simple breathing exercise that not only increases every-
ones breathing range, allowing for more energy and alertness, but it also entrains us.
In this case with Louise, I knew she was a kinesthetic person - very slow to react, slow
thoughts, simple wording. NOT dumb, by any means, simply operating at a vastly different
speed from my own.
response
Most visual people I have done sessions with have very rapid reactions when we talk about
their issues. If they arent already familiar with the attitude of thanking their problems for
showing up to be cleared, a lot of quick excuses often get thrown out as a habitual defensive
measure - until they understand that negative emotion is simply energy disruption, and not
a character flaw.
With Louise, it was a pleasure to not have all kinds of smart, quick answers come out of her
in defense of her stated problem. She simply stated what was going on and smiled.
embarrassment
It turned out that she actually didnt mind that she bit her nails. But she was embarrassed to
show her hands in front of other people. She also wanted beautiful nails. We tapped on:
even though I bite my nails and

other people hate it
I dont mind but
I dont have beautiful nails
and I deeply and completely accept myself
and I choose to have beautiful nails
Interesting. My experience with biting nails has been that its a stress relief. It didnt seem to
fit the bill here when I brought it up. Maybe it was too buried, too deep for that session to
bring up. We did a few rounds and got her from a seven to a one, but didnt want to go any
further. She was pleased to let it go at that.
Louise didnt bite her nails for almost two weeks, the longest shed gone in years. But she
slowly began sliding into doing it again. Since she wont tap for herself, and doesnt want
another session yet - Im too busy - I have a feeling the nails will continue to get chewed.
Until we get to the anxiety - the energy disruption - that drives the habit, the biting will
continue to be her sedative.
More nails
Billy is about 56 or 57; works at a bank. He called me one afternoon, desperate to see me.
He told me he couldnt take it anymore. He sounded so distraught that I thought maybe
he needed a suicide hot line or something, and I was concerned that he was going to want
more from me as a therapist than I could give him.
He laughed and said No! I just want to stop biting my nails!
I sighed a big sigh of relief and told him, Thats easy!
Ive tried it all!

He objected, saying hed tried everything in the book and more with no success, even that
bitter poison gunk thats supposed to stop him from biting them. Turned out he was allergic
to it!
biting/cant sleep
Billy is tall, strong, and fit, with thick dark hair and a rugged outdoors kind of face. The
kind of guy you see in those Handsome Cowboy commercials. His nails were utterly
destroyed. They looked painful, bitten far down on the quick.
He told me he didnt even know he was doing it most of the time, but when he did notice
it, it was usually at night, after work. He loved books, and would sit in a favorite chair read-
ing - all the while unconsciously chewing non-stop on those poor nails.
He also had a sleeping problem - only sleeping about two or three hours a night.
dont talk, just take care of it!

I started to talk to him about disrupted energy, but he stopped me and told me he didnt
give a damn about how or why, just please can we get on with it? He rated his feelings
about the biting at a 10, and the sleep about the same. So we jumped right in with:
even though I cant sleep

I toss and turn
I only sleep a few hours a night at most
and I bite my nails without even knowing it
I know Im OK
He hated the I accept myself phrase, and we ended up with this shorter version, I know Im
OK. Whatever works! We easily got to a three on the sleep and a seven on the nails, then
got stuck for a couple rounds. No movement at all. So I had him tap:
even though Im stuck and

I dont really want to give this up
I like it
it soothes me
I know Im OK
Blam! Right down to a zero! Hed been reversed- didnt really want to give it
up - because he needed the biting as a sedative.
Now he was open to a little explanation, so I told him how a disruption in the energy
system makes us feel anxious, causes a bzzzt! in our nervous system. We then look for a
sedative that takes the anxiety that the bzzzt! caused away.
We find a substance or activity that calms us, and we do it

over and over to calm ourselves until it becomes a habit.
To the point sometimes where it feels like life or death if we have to give it up. So when we
try, we cant. Part of us needs and wants the sedating habitual substance or activity.
that hit home

He thought about the nail-biting a bit, and said that now that he thought about it, he
could hear himself humming as he bit his nails! Hed never realized it before! We continued:
even though I still bite my nails and hum

and I want to bite my nails and
dont want to give it up
what will I do to calm myself?
dont take away my fix!

Billy was suddenly very anxious about what to do instead. He was really worried that if we
took away the nail-biting, hed go for alcohol or smoking, or something else.
I again explained about the energy disruption, and tried to make it clear that when he
evened out his energy flow, he wouldnt need to do anything else. And if the anxiety did
come back, he could tap on it himself, at home. He was amazed how deeply he had needed
to do the biting. It was neat to see the understanding come over his face.
continuing
I gave him one of my EFT booklets with the Sequence and Tapping Points, and went over
it with him so hed know exactly what to do. He was ready to let the nail-biting go now.
We continued with:
even though I still want to bite my nails and

Im afraid of giving it up and
I need to calm myself somehow
Here he stopped and said, Wow! If I could use tapping instead of biting my nails.... He
really got it!
I know Im OK anyway and

I choose to stop biting my nails and
I choose to sleep well for as many hours as I like
We got it all to a zero. He was thrilled.
I was in the grocery store a few weeks later when he came rushing up to me and showed me
his nails - perfect!
accepting myself
Billy was another example of someone who was uncomfortable with acknowledging himself as
acceptable. But he still wouldnt let it get in the way of his success.
I rather liked his I know Im OK, and I sat on the phrase until a month or two later.
Then, knowing Id soon be flying back to Hawaii, I used his phrase when I made up the
Easy Comfort Procedure for fear of flying and air sickness (see Chapter 19, Illustrations
of More Tapping Points) because I wanted a quick, easy, easily-acceptable process that
would help people on the plane if they were fearful or sick. Seems I always notice someone
who needs a little assistance, and I have felt so helpless before. Not now!
I dowsed the points to use, and added Billys statement. My classes and I tested it out, with
good success.
tapping on sweets
What is just as amazing to me is that after tapping on my craving for sugar and chocolate, it
has diminished to the point that I can eat a small piece of a sweet and not want any more.
I dont sit there and eat the whole carton of ice cream - I dont even like most ice cream any
more! - or the whole box of cookies. I just dont want it. It doesnt even look or smell like
food to me anymore. This is incredible - especially since Ive craved sweets my entire life.
the gap
Sweets dont fill the gap. The craving/addiction only serves to continue the cycle of feel-
ing bad, eat sweets, feel worse, eat sweets, declare no more sweets, feel bad, eat sweets, feel
worse than ever for eating the sweets and going against the declaration, giving up, feel bad,
eat sweets. Does that sound familiar? Self-sabotage, perhaps?
discomfort
Most of us dont feel OK with ourselves. There is anxiety within us that we cant handle. We
struggle and struggle with the feeling and finally cave in and go for whatever helps us numb
out - the addictive substance or activity.
Listen to why a smoker doesnt want to quit - we hear, cigarettes relax me. Or why some-
one else wants to keep on drinking coffee - I like how it makes me feel. We hear I like
the taste, I like the way it makes me zone out. It makes me feel strong, energized. Any
number of reasons - all about sedating or stimulating.
inner fight
All these reasons are the surface layers of a deeper friction between our thoughts, beliefs and
emotions, and that Deepest Self that knows we are perfect beings.
The message is I feel upset and want to get comfortable.
go in, not out!

So, both because it is easier to reach for a cigarette or a cookie, and because we were never
told about energy maintenance, instead of going inward to correct the energy disruption,
we have gone for the external fix. Coffee, cigarettes, too much sex, sugar, fighting with our
spouse or relatives, chocolate, pornography, cookies, working too much - whatever we do
that we do too much of or with the intention to sedate, stop or cover up the anxiety.
healing within
If we can heal our relationship with ourselves, heal the disrupted energy within us, then we
can go about our lives without the constant nagging: this wanting-something-I-dont-know-
what-it-is.
Thats how I know Im in anxiety - I have this little voice that says I want I want I want.
I look around and there isnt a single thing that would feel satisfying to do or eat. I feel
utterly annoyed and irritated about it. If/when I can remember that its just anxiety, just
energy, I then tap on it. Then I choose what I would rather be doing.
imagine!
I believe that, by using EFT to care for ourselves and our energy systems, we can get to the
place where our relationship with ourselves is so good that we can feel great at any time.
Period.
That might sound a little far-fetched, and maybe even sound unattainable, but if I can get
to the point where I dont crave sweets, I can do anything. And so can you, if I can!
What dreams would we go for if we KNEW we could be successful? If we released and

recycled our disrupted energy, turning it into into usable energy?
Imagine all the things you could do!

Imagine how you could be, what you could do and have!
Keep
tapping!
I Choose!
Chapter twelve
clear, then choose

Once we clear the tangled energy from our systems, its important to redirect
our nice, newly flowing clear energy, keeping it aligned with our intentions.
CHOICES
At the end of the even though... I accept myself phrases, make a new choice!
Big thanks go to Dr. Patricia Carrington, an experienced therapist in the USA, for adding this
wonderful step the the EFT protocol. I use it a lot. I believe its a really necessary addition.
what/how to choose?
Often, in the heat of the moment of our pain, we dont know what we want. If you get
stuck on the wording, heres a little something you can do:
even though I cant think what to say

I choose to easily think of at least ONE statement I like
Pick the positive opposite of the negative phrase you started with. You may have no words
- if youre crying and upset and you have nothing to say except aaaaaarrrrghh!
Well, then you can say:
even though I feel aaarrrrghh,

I deeply and completely accept myself, and
I choose mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Go through your negatives list and choose the very simplest I choose for each item.
waiting
I like to wait till I have some clarity on the issue before I make my choice, so I wait till Im
about half or three quarters of the way through the session, at a point where I feel relief
coming in. I stop long enough to see whatever it might be I would prefer. Something will
come up in my mind I hadnt thought of before, or Ill visualize an outcome or a situation
where I imagine myself feeling really great being who I am and getting just what I want.
I resume the sequence by doing another setup statement, and then I include my choice
phrase. Then I tap the problem to zero. Here are some examples of choice phrases at the
end of the even thought...I accept statements:
even though I am feeling anxious and afraid,

I choose to feel calm and collected.
even though I cant sleep sleeping,

and I dont really think I can sleep,
and if I do Ill wake up groggy and tired,
I choose to go to sleep right now, & awaken rested and energetic.
tap the choice

By the time Ive finished tapping, I feel terrific, and I know my choice is done! Mine!
Coming! Or here already!
THE CHOICE STATEMENT

Say the first parts of the setup statement:
even though...
and then say your preference:
I choose __________
In this way you:

1. express the old stuff
2. accept yourself here and now, and
3. make a choice as to what you prefer.
One, two, three.

stage fright example

Brent is an actor who had stage fright. His first Setup Statement went like this:
even though I feel afraid when I go onstage

tap: im afraid
He tapped down the body points saying this Reminder phrase:
Im afraid.
He got the intensity to a one or a two, then he added the tapping on the I choose phrase.
even though I still feel afraid when I go onstage

I choose to go on fearlessly, easily, feeling inspired
tap: i choose
He tapped down the body points saying this Reminder Phrase:
Im afraid.
Then he tapped down the body points saying the I choose phrase: fearless, easy, inspired.
what do you focus on?

In this day and age of self-help theories and techniques, I find that many people tend to
look only at what they want to rid themselves of, or problems they want to solve.
What happened to setting goals or having solutions we want to reach? If we continually

focus on what it is we dont like about our lives without having another preference we are
aiming for, how can we create or live something else?
turn around!
Its a good idea to turn the focus around so that, instead of always thinking about and
working on what we dont like about life, we can see, appreciate and expand upon what we
do like about life and what we want to create for ourselves.
Why not expand upon:

being who we are, without limitation
expanding and nurturing our talents and

potentiality
expanding our prosperity - whatever
that means to each of us
being happy - with who we are, what
we do, what weve got, where we are
and the people places and things with
whom we interact
Lets get focused on the lights at the end of the tunnel - and way past it! - instead of the
tracks we have been down, the tunnel walls, the people weve not liked being with or the
energetic goop all over the tunnel floor that has kept us from moving on through to the
other end!
Lets keep our sights on the awesome gifts we can give and create for ourselves, the lives we
want, the way wed rather live. Do what we can to create that for ourselves, and help our
loved ones do it, too. Turns out, the only way we can do that is to choose to do it!
basics
Some might think its not in them to choose.
Many of us were shunted away from thinking about making personal choices at a young
age. Our parents, teachers and others who were in charge of our well-being and/or educa-
tion, although well-meaning, often discouraged us from making choices for ourselves that
were appropriate for us.
Most of our choices were based on what was good for those around us. So we got used to
others making choices for us.
clear out the goop

So lets address that - lets knock out those beliefs that we cant choose, dont deserve what
we want, cant make it happen, cant have it - we cant - we cant we cant we cant! Yeow!
Those are all beliefs we can handle with EFT. We can start to choose what it is we do want,
filling in the gaps in our lives left where the now-long-gone negative or unwanted beliefs,
ideas or values were that we tapped away.
100 things
So try this. Take out a sheet of paper, and write just off the top of your head a hundred
items you would like to be, do or have, but feel or believe you cant or wont or dont have
in your life right now. You can list anything - from money to good health to a boy or girl
friend, a cruise with your lover, a good job, or your own thriving business, or just the feel-
ing of being happy, contented or fulfilled.
A hundred ideas is a lot - but stick it out - youll find that by the end of the list youll be
hitting on ideas you hadnt thought of for a long time.
redo/edit
Remember this is an exercise. You can redo or edit the list any time you want. And if you
feel like you have already done this a thousand times without results, tap on that! Your life
is different now - you have a very powerful tool to help you create what you want, now.
Affirmations
Weve all probably heard about and used affirmations, right? Some of us didnt have the
greatest experience with them.
successful affirmations
Sometimes affirmations dont work. How do we make them up so that they do?
I believe that an important point is to make them in the first person, present tense.
If I say, I will have ____X_____, thats in the future. It will be out there, but wont come
to me.
If I say I want ____X_____, I am left wanting. The item is still out there but not coming
to me.
However, if I say, I have ____X_____, it is

naming the reality I want to have as if I already have it.
The laws of magnetism state that
Like attracts like!
Universal Law decrees that if and when were vibrating the energy of what it is we want,
creating a solid affirmation that declares that we already have what we want, that whatever
it is has to come to us. Its already ours!
So when I have released all the blocks around what it is I want, and created the new energy
flow in my system, that _____X____ must come to me.
tail-enders
But what if my mind says, immediately after the affirmation: Yeah right. Or No way.
Or Impossible. Or I cant/dont believe it?Or Where do I think that would come
from?
Sound familiar?
The sentence or thought that comes to us after we voice the affirmation is the real affirma-
tion that we have been saying all along. These are tail-enders, our sometimes very deep,
inner conditioning.
Those beliefs and ideas are exact reflections of the training and indoctrination we got as
children and adults as we went through formative experiences. They have to be dealt with
before our affirmations will come true.
If we dont deal with tail-enders, they manifest by default

because they override the affirmation.
stumped by others beliefs

We say we want to ride that mustang over there. We look out and see a magnificent black
horse, prancing and strutting, with eyes of fire. We wish we could ride it, flying on its back,
free in the wind over the mountains and through the clouds.
But Mom says we cant afford a horse, who would take care of it, where would we put it
and you wouldnt take the time to ride it, and if you ride a horse youll look unfeminine.
Pop says if you try to ride youll probably fall off. Brother says youre too fat to get on
- youll kill the horse! Other brother says you wont have the nerve. Teacher sniggers
behind your back saying youre too much of a chicken. Friend says, youll never ride her
horse, youll ruin its mouth.
piles of negatives
Each of those negative statements and comments is like a brick, and with them we build
a wall, brick by brick. The wall builds and builds with each comment. Till finally we cant
even see the horse.
One day, when we do get to ride, we have attracted a crummy experience to ourselves -
were so nervous we do fall off. And its a sad, old, worn-out saggy-backed tough-mouthed
mare thats been bored to death with kiddy rides. Hardly flying through the sky.
how to deal with tail-enders

The way to deal with tail-enders is to carefully listen for them as we say our affirmation,
and tap on them as they come up. For instance, I might say as my affirmation,
I happily and easily make _$________ .
But my mind objects, and says, Yeah, sure. I dont believe it! So now I know what one of
my tail-enders is: I dont believe it. I can tap on that! And I can create a choice as well:
My setup/choice statements will look like this:
Even though I dont believe I can have ____$X____ - much less happily and easily! -
I choose to know I can, and I do it
I tap the not believing till its down to zero, then tap the choice as well.
again
Then I say my affirmation again. This time, my mind says, Where do you think that
will come from? Then I ask myself, what is the opposite, or my preferred choice? Well,
it would be I choose to be happily surprised where it comes from. I make that my I
choose statement.
Even though I cant imagine where __$X__ would come from

I choose to be happily surprised where it comes from
The rating of the I cant imagine is down to a 0, but I notice when I repeat the affirma-
tion again that I have a sick feeling in my belly. My choice is to feel great about making
___$X___ per month.
Even though I have this sick feeling in my belly

I choose to feel great about making ___$X___ a month.
The sick feeling is gone But now my throat feels very tight, and dry. I choose to have free-
dom from restriction.
Even though my throat feels tight and dry

I choose to be free of restriction
more
My thermometer is down to a zero on that one. I say the affirmation again:
I happily and easily make ___$X___ .
This time my mind wonders again: if I havent been able to make that before, how could I
think I could now? I think about how my subconscious knows better than I do, and lets me
know things even though I havent studied them outright. I choose to know how, anyway.
Even though I havent known how to make ___$X___

and I think I still cant
I choose to know that my subconscious knows how, and that I can make ___$X___ now
done!
Big yawn. I say the statement again, I happily and easily make ___$X___ a month. It feels
great. Nothing else comes up. OK, lets see what happens!
Hesters breakthrough
Hester, a recent graduate of the beginners EFT course, told me that she had a breakthrough
that blew her away. She works at a job that requires her to take flights to various locations
here and there within New Zealand. She usually makes sure her big plastic shopping bag is
ready on her lap, as she gets sick in a flash and the usual little bag provided by the airline
just isnt enough.
This time, she said, she decided to see if EFT would help. She tapped on:
even though Im about to get sick

I choose to be pain-free and enjoy my flight
She said she tapped a couple of rounds, and the stomach ache and urge to vomit left.
After a little while, the feeling returned a bit, although not as intensely, so she tapped again.
She was able to have a comfortable trip the rest of the flight, and didnt need to tap on the
way back. And she has taken other trips on which she didnt have to tap at all!
an almost accident
As I was leaving this morning to go to go to the dentist in Invercargill, about 40 minutes
away from here, I noticed myself immersed in a quiet, rolling understream of thought. It
went something like this:
If I die in an accident today, itd be OK. Nothing I have left undone is maximal or hard to
handle for anyone. Who would I think about? Freda came to mind, and of course my sons
Aaron and Isaac. Big time. And so on.
what am i thinking?
Suddenly, I realized what I was thinking, and had to acknowledge that I was thinking about
it so strongly that I was either in line for an accident or I was going to create one. So I
declared out loud:
even though Im afraid Ill die in an accident

I choose to live.
I tapped both sides, negative and positive - twice on each side to make sure, and forgot
about it.
yikes!
A few kilometres down the road, I realized that in the case I was in an accident anyway, I
might live, but be in a state of vege-dom for the next x-odd years. So I tapped on:
even though Im afraid I might get hurt or die in an accident

I choose to live, AND be FULLY functional.
I promptly forgot all about it, and continued driving to my destination.
coming home
On my way home, there was a big temporary yellow road sign saying accident ahead. I
stopped to ask if I could help. No, thanks. Anyone hurt? Yeah, one dead - there was a head-
on up the road.
It was right where I had felt the idea of accident and tapped on it.
conscious energy?
I continued home, feeling very stunned. It made me think of don Juan, Carlos Castenedas
teacher, who said there are winds and eddies and currents of energy, some with their own
consciousness. Made me wonder about the saying hes (or there is, maybe) an acci-
dent waiting to happen -
You can see that there is enormous power in not only

being aware of our feelings, but in making
conscious choices as well.
a friend is confused
Georgia came by this morning. She was feeling extremely depressed. We talked about EFT.
She has had a long-standing problem with depression, going to therapist after therapist,
going on and off anti-depressants.
Her main anxiety has been that she felt she had no choice in life, that something always
stopped her from moving forward and being successful. She has a job as a counter assistant,
but wants to have her own business. She hasnt done it for fear that she wouldnt be able to
handle the stress and responsibilities involved in owning a business.
lists
I had her list every feeling she could find in her mind at that moment about how she felt.
She is a very restrained woman, and isnt accustomed to express her feelings. It was quite
difficult for her to list them out.
She was very doubtful about how her emotions could cause so much trouble. She thought
if she just pushed them back and put on a brave face, things would be fine. She couldnt
understand why she felt depressed!
Ordinarily I wouldnt do this, but I asked her to choose her most intense feeling so we
could start working on it. She couldnt name a feeling. So I told her about the concept of
being present with our feelings, and that in EFT we can start right where we are. So we
tapped on:
even though I dont know how I feel right now

and all I feel is confusion.
forests
I told her to imagine that our emotional filed is a great, immense garden. Within that
garden, in pockets hidden where we cant see them, around corners, and in places that are
sometimes right in front of our eyes, grow weeds and strange growths of tangled energy
plants. When we use EFT, its as if we are weeding and pruning those weeds and strange
growths, one by one. Many of them fall right along with the others that are tapped on, or
go away all by themselves.
Eventually, the garden will be clear of weeds and will blossom forth with glorious plants the
likes of which have never been before seen!
an exercise to find choice

Georgia looked and looked within, and finally came up with a little list of five or six main
feelings. It was a revelation to her to get that far. Her ultimate fear was that it wasnt OK to
be herself, and that, before she did anything else, she had to do what she was told.
For every belief in her list, I had her write a phrase saying what she would prefer. Like this:
negative belief
preferred choice
For instance:
Its not OK to be me
Its totally OK to be 100% me
I have no choice
I know that I always have a choice
No matter what happens, something is stopping me

I choose to move forward
I feel helpless
I am powerful!
I feel so sad
I choose to choose happiness
We discussed how she felt after having written the list. She felt relieved just to get them out,
although it had been very hard to get her awareness around them or to verbalize them. We
did a lot of tapping on that, alone.
being present
I told her that the list was helpful to begin being present with our feelings, and she could
use the process when she felt confused and disconnected.
psychological reversal
I told her about the idea of psychological reversal, and showed her, using muscle checking,
how, when our polarity is reversed, we are de-energized. We checked her for reversal, and
sure enough, she was reversed on almost everything. We then spent about an hour going
down her list, saying the setup statements and tapping on the feelings that had the most
intensity. She ended up feeling released and terrific. She was thrilled to go away with a new
understanding of emotions, and a new tool to deal with them.
therapy
We talked about therapy, as she was considering going back. I told her Id never tell her
what to do, that that was up to her. I also said that what I have found for myself is that
therapy helps me take myself apart and see whats going on with me. But my problem has
been that therapy rarely has helped me put myself back together again in a way that I feel
more whole. I didnt feel I could function independently without calling my therapist for
help - again and again and again.
The therapy and most of the other healing modalities and practices Ive had before I ran
into EFT have made me feel dependent on someone else - when I get stuck, call the thera-
pist! They make the money, I still feel powerless.
My experience is just my experience. I may personally not have had the best experiences
with therapists, but I do know that therapists have our best at heart, and do their best to
help people - and, fortunately, more and more of them are finding and using EFT!
important note:
I encourage anyone who goes to a therapist to please keep going if you feel like you are
deriving benefit from it! This is a unique, personal choice - please use your discretion here!
EFT has changed that feeling of powerlessness for me. I sit down, feel how I feel, think
about how I would rather feel, what I want, and do the Even though, I accept and I choose
phrases and the tapping. Thats that.
There are times when its terrific to get outside help: I do when I feel as if things are too
much for me, or that I have blind spots that I cant get at and need the perspective of
another person. So I call a friend who also does EFT or an EFT practitioner I trust and ask
for a session with her.
inner strength
We are strong beings. Very resilient. We could not have gotten through all the stuff weve
lived through if we were not. We certainly would have caved in by now if not. Just the fact
that were still searching implies innate strength.
I believe that we must access that strength that we havent dared to use yet. Before, its most
likely that if we did, we believed on some level that we would have lost someones love or
attention, or our place in the world, or we would somehow be unsafe.
time to update!
These beliefs have all been there for probably a long time, but now we have outgrown
them. Be very present and let feelings come up. Look at them, listen to what they say, feel
them, and if there are a lot, write them down. Tap on each one.
Go through the feelings, doing the setup and tapping, and then at the end, when theres a
cognitive shift about the situation, put an I choose phrase to cap off the whole thing.
a shift in knowingness
A cognitive shift is when, after having addressed the feeling or situation, the intensity has
suddenly gone, and we can suddenly look through new eyes at the old situation - and some-
times even laugh abut it.
For example, lets say June starts out with feeling very hurt and angry that her mother didnt
love her. Because of this perception, June hates her. When June clears the disrupted energy
in her system, she can see that perhaps her mother was doing the best she could with what
she knew, with the resources she had (or not) and within context she lived.
That maybe Junes mother didnt even know what was going on with June because she was
struggling with her own daily life. June can forgive her now, and even laugh about how silly
it was for her to hate her mother. Its an extreme, 180 shift in thinking.
Now that June has seen what seems to be the real truth about her mother, she can set up a
new way to be, do or have by making an I choose phrase after her tapping phrases.
self-consciousness
I have a friend who is writing a book. Olivia is a good, clear communicator and excellent
workshop leader. She wanted to do a session on how uncomfortable she was about writing
her first book on communication and an energy related therapy.
She says, Its so strange knowing people will read this. Im OK with people hearing the
information from my mouth at my workshops, but I feel a bit self-conscious about this
book. A bit? I ask her. OK, she admits. Ill get real, lets call it really self-conscious.
Scared to death, really.
even though knowing people out there in the world will read my book makes me feel
really scared
uncomfortable
vulnerable
at risk and
what if people think Im just stupid?
what if I offend the people I love?
what if I make a fool of myself?
what if my kids dont like it?
I might be abandoned, shunned
We discussed it some more, and all of a sudden Olivia clapped her hand on her forehead
and said, Ah! I know! Here it is:
What if people make fun of what I say?

I choose safety and acceptance even when I speak my deepest thoughts and feelings
We did three rounds on that one, and she looked like a new person. Olivia s almost done
with her book, and told me she feels like shes flying.
I choose!
The I choose phrase is a vital part of this process. If we let go of all this tangled energy and
dont choose what we want, who will choose for us? Most people, as kids, were discouraged
from becoming creators. This is our chance. Lets grab it!
a non-choice episode
Freda and I weeded and planted all day one day not too long ago. The small patch of
garden out by the driveway gets weed-covered in such a short time its almost miraculous.
We got it all done, then planted some starter plants. Good. Looks good, feels good. The
tomatoes and zucchini we planted earlier in the year are doing well. Love those zucchini!
mid-day
Our friend, Elle, came by as we were weeding, and said she wanted to kidnap me for an
hour - she wanted me to meet a couple visiting from California. The woman was the head
of a spiritual organization, and her husband was an investor of some kind. Very nice folks.
I was a bit annoyed that Elle had insisted that I not take the time to change my clothes,
since I like to to honor the people I meet with the gift of at least being clean! I was in my
old painting duds with dirt streaked all over my face, hands and body. I tapped as she drove
me up to her beautiful farm -
Even though life springs situations in my face I have no control over

and I feel uncomfortable and self-conscious
I choose to be OK just as I am, anywhere
Even though I feel angry at Elle for not letting me change my clothes
and I let her boss me around!
I choose to be OK with it, recognizing that I could have insisted on doing so
and that I chose not to
and I choose to be OK just as I am, anywhere
That felt better!
is this my irritation?
A week later, Freda and I were preparing for the housewarming party for her new house.
Sue and I were doing some last minute painting, and she was helping our friend, Veronica
in the kitchen. I was feeling very irritated for some reason - I didnt stop to think about it
as I was so busy. It seemed as if I was noticing from a distance that my voice kept having a
hard edge to it, and that I felt snippy.
When everything was all done and it was time to shower and get ready for the party, I took
a few minutes out to do some tapping. It occurred to me that since it was Fredas first-ever
party in this house, she might be feeling a bit frightened and snappy. So I tapped on:
Even though I pick up other peoples fears and worries and hold them as my own
even though I was snappy at Freda as a result
even though I really had nothing to be irritated about but was anyway
and its sometimes hard to forgive myself
even though now Im so tired all I want to do is sleep not party -
I believe in myself and
I choose to be happy, calm and energetic
Then it was time to go out and greet the first people, and take care of the last minute
details - like making a fresh green salad and the strawberry/kiwi sauce for the ice cream
later! Felt much better then.
this is for the sweets lovers -

Pavlova, sweets, ice cream....
There is a traditional dessert in New Zealand called Pavlova. Theres some dispute between
the Aussies and the Kiwis as to who really invented it, but well let that one lie....
Its a hardish meringue crust shaped like a 2-layered cake, filled with a light fluffy sweet
meringue, and you top it with whipped cream and (usually) a fruit sauce. We put whipped
home-made whipped cream and my special strawberry/kiwi sauce on it, and served it with
vanilla ice cream. Luscious!
I hadnt had ice cream for almost a year - loved it! Trouble was, later on my whole body,
especially where the glands under my jaw are, hurt - I had to do some heavy duty
tapping on it to get the pain down. Just cant seem to handle creamy stuff. Had to spend
some time tapping on all the goodies I ate that day:
Even though I cant handle creamy stuff

and it makes me swell up like a balloon
all clogged up
and I feel guilty that I hurt my body
I choose to be pain free
and to make healthy choices
Sorry, body! I saw that I believes that its difficult for me to be at a party and make healthy
choices:
Even though I cant resist the goodies at a party

I choose to choose healthy choices even in the face of sweets and yummy desserts
more
Whew! Writing that made me sweat. Wonder whats under that? Felt like about a 7. Had to
take off my sweater.
Even though Im sweating just thinking about giving up sweets

I choose to be healthy no matter what
Even though I dont want to resist sweets and goodies

I choose to choose otherwise anyway
Even though I feel deprived by choosing only healthy food

I choose to let go of my desire for sweets
Better. Back to a zero. No more sweating.
yes!
I wondered if I simply said, Well, yes, you can have that, but do you really want it right
now? Yes, you can have that, any time, actually, but do you want to face the consequences?
Yes, you can have that, but what are you feeling that you want to not-feel?
Thats it!
What is it that I dont want to feel? What is it that wants me to fill the gap between how I
dont want to feel and what is really happening inside of me with desserts and sweets?
Why would I want to make myself sick with a substance that my system doesnt like, in
order not to feel something? Must be something scary, or bigger than I want to face.
Even though I dont want to feel whatever this is

and I reach for sweets instead
and I use sweets to make myself not-feel,
and to be numb
and to jump over the feelings
I choose to let it go and make healthy choices instead
Even though I dont know what these feelings are that I dont want to feel
and it seems impossible to catch myself before I reach for the sweets
and sometimes I dont even want to
I choose to remember to choose EFT rather than reaching for sweets
Even though Im eating on automatic and dont really want these things
I choose to know I can have them anytime and say no if I want
sneak!
Bruce said he used to sneak sweets when he was a kid. His mother always kept a stash of
chocolate chips, and hed go in and take handsful. No-one else was around, and most times
he felt all alone and lonely. His mother spent a good amount of time away working, and
Bruce came home from school to an empty house. It was then that he started gorging extra
food.
Not always sweets - sometimes hed make enormous piles of food in exotic combinations
and concoctions, and eat the whole lot. Talk about stuffing yourself! Itd make him feel so
groggy that hed go out in the woods to his secret spot and take a nap, instead of doing
homework. Hell, he figured, hed been at school all day - who wants to do more schoolwork
at home? We tapped on:
Even though I use food to keep from feeling lonely

I choose to be OK with myself at all times
shame
This was a new choice for Bruce, who had always felt such shame about how heavy he was.
We tapped on that, too:
even though I feel such shame for my body and myself

I choose to forgive myself and my mother
He was very angry at her for having deserted him. He had felt abandoned, unsafe, and he
missed her, as well.
even though she left me all alone and

I felt unloved and
I felt nervous and unsafe and
I really missed my Moms company
I choose to understand and forgive myself and my mother
After tapping on his anger, he realized that, since she was a single mom, it was a hard choice
for her - to either not make the money they needed to live on and be with Bruce, or work
and leave him to fend for himself.
He had more ability to see clearly now that the energy was cleared, and was able to forgive
her - and himself for having misunderstood.
We always have choice,

even if it means
we choose not to choose.
Keep saying:
i
choose!
Aspects
Chapter thirteen
ISSUES WITHIN ISSUES

Youve seen by now that sometimes when we tap on one issue, it seems like just
as we get to the bottom of it, another comes popping up.
Listen for other issues that come up as a result of your tapping. These are called aspects.
When were tapping on something, another aspect sometimes pops its head up and make
itself available for clearing. Very handy mechanism. If were clear enough to see them, and
tap on them one by one, we can clear the issues right up. By clearing aspects as they come
up, and the peripheral aspects that subsequently emerge, suddenly a whole seemingly giant
issue will evaporate right before our eyes.
It takes persistence to follow each one to its end and get every one of them. This is what
happened when I tapped on my past craving for chocolate.
early memories
I remembered that my mother had told me that the hospital where she had me had terrible
water. She knew that, so she had brought some of her old-family-recipe wicked home-made
fudge to eat while there - those were the days when a mother would stay at the hospital for
a week or two before going home, and she was prepared!
She told me that when she got thirsty, shed drink some water, and have a bite (or several,
knowing her!) of fudge to take the taste of the water away. That made her thirsty again, so
shed have more fudge. You can see how that must have gone -
rating the percentage of truth

So I thought, OK, why dont I tap on my using chocolate to avoid experiencing feelings?
I thought of a specific situation where I had done that. It seemed hard to rate, so I tried
rating the percentage of truth. How true was it that I did that? That worked fine.
On a scale of zero to ten, with the truth being at ten, I rated it at about a 9. I tapped a few
rounds until I got it down to a zero.
even though I use chocolate to numb out
other aspects
This made me think of other times and places where I was attracted to and had to have
chocolate. There were a bunch of times. At the movie theatre, I just couldnt resist it at
ALL. That was a nose-bleed 10. When I went into the service station to pay for my petrol,
I had about a 5 craving. All I had to do was see or smell chocolate - even if I didnt like the
kind of candy it was presented in!
even though I crave chocolate at the theatre

and at the service station
and when I smell or see it
at parties
In social situations - like a small gathering, a party, or even a big party, or a weekend with
friends - it was a 10, for sure. Insatiable craving. And a belief there wasnt enough for me, so
I had to go eat it before they got it first.
even though there is never enough for me

and I have to get it first so they cant get it and leave me without
(this was probably about my brothers and father)
and even though I see it at a party and have to have it even if I dont want it
even though I hated that my brothers had so much power and I didnt,
I deeply and completely love and accept myself and
I know they probably didnt!
other times
Three oclock in the afternoon; after dinner at night; in my room at night as I read or
worked on the computer. All 10.
even though I want chocolate in the afternoon, at night and after dinner, in my room and
in the kitchen,
other types of chocolate & goodies

Then there was the other types of ways chocolate was presented! Chocolate chip cookies,
chocolate pudding, chocolate cake or brownies and chocolate ice cream - I made a list of all
the ways I liked to eat chocolate.
even though I love all kinds of chocolate and I cant give it up

and I dont want to give it up
and I have to have it
and I wont be comfortable if I do
Id really rather die than give it up
Id give up my rebellion
I tapped on them all.
trance state
Recently, as I was making something for a party, I was thinking about how I hadnt made
fudge in a long time. Fudge was the old standby - everyone loved it. Its what I always used
to bring to a pot-luck.
I recalled how easy it was to put myself into kind of a trance as I stirred the chocolate. I
liked that about it. I liked the texture of it, too - something about how it felt in my mouth.
And how I could chew and go into a hazy kind of meditation state, using sitting there
munching to zone out and let my thoughts run. I tapped on all of that.
even though I love the taste and texture of fudge and chocolate and
how making fudge puts me in a nice trance
and I love how chewing chocolate makes me relaxed and able to just let my thoughts go
even though I love how it feels in my mouth
wanting
After all that tapping, now chocolate seems too dry and almost like its made out of
petro-chemicals. But I notice that there are times I wish I could have something I dont
have and that I dont know what it is.
Chocolate and cookies come to mind, but I really, in truth, I think thats more habit of
thought, and I really dont want them. So what the heck is it I want? Do I want anything?
Thats called craving.
water?
I thought maybe, since my mother had used chocolate to replace bad water taste, I was
substituting chocolate for drinking water. I do love water - and I had thought I drank
enough. I couldnt get any rating at all on it, but I still tapped:
even though I try to replace water with chocolate

It didnt feel particularly charged, so I tapped a couple rounds and left off.
more!
But I still had these little niggles now and then. Id see the chocolate I used to love in the
store, and think I wanted them - but as soon as I really thought about it, I realized I didnt
want it at all.
So what was it?
ma
I thought back to the stories I had heard Ma tell me about her stay in the hospital, with
her delicious fudge and the bad hospital water. It suddenly struck me that if I gave up choc-
olate, Id be giving my mother up! Yeow. So I rated it - it was a 9 on the 0 - 10 truth scale
- and tapped on it:
even though Id be giving up my mother if I give up chocolate and Id miss her

and I choose to give chocolate up anyway
Down to zero! Good.
try it out
Next I went to the store and bought a small bar of good dark chocolate. I opened it and
smelled it - mmm! Smelled great! But I didnt want to eat it. There was some charge there
still, but I didnt know what it was. So I tapped on:
even though I still want chocolate and I dont know why

I must need it somehow
and I still must love it
and I choose to let it go.
sneak!
The next day, after Freda and I had lunch, I went back into my office to work. Id left the
bar of chocolate in my desk drawer.
Now, this is a miracle, you have to understand - not 6 months ago there would have been
zero chance that I could leave an uneaten candy bar in my drawer, much less overnight. The
formula was: if there is chocolate in the house, I have to have it. Now. So the efficacy of
EFT is not to be knocked.
But I was determined to get to every little rootlet I could find in order to be free of this
control over me. I opened the drawer and took the chocolate bar out, and was about
to open the wrapper, when Freda knocked on my door. I saw myself as from a distance
hurrying to put it away before she came in! What was that all about???
An image came to mind of being in the kitchen when I was about 6 or 7. My mother had
made a chocolate cake (with her beautiful, thick not-to-be-beat home-made chocolate
frosting) for dessert. She had hidden it so we wouldnt all (I have three brothers) gorge it
down before the appointed time at the end of that nights dinner.
Naturally, I, knowing every nook and cranny of the house by then, found it. I proceeded
to very carefully scrape up some of the frosting that had dribbled down on the plate. I
remember with absolute clarity the feeling of excitement about sneaking this treat, and the
visceral dread of the awful punishment that would come with being found out.
nicked!
Unfortunately, I had left little finger-scoop marks on the plate where my fingertips had
cleaned the frosting off. Since I was the only one in the house who had tiny-sized fingers, I
did get punished. Darn!
But that feeling of excitement/dread - thats what was important. I tapped on that -
even though its fun to sneak a treat

and Im afraid Ill get caught
and Im afraid Ill get punished
guilt/shame/punishment
I was down to abut a 2 when it hit me that Ive punished myself! By allowing my body to
get as heavy and uncomfortable as I have, isnt that punishment?
even though I now punish myself as my parents used to

and make myself feel guilt and shame
and I choose to quit it!
That one made me cry. I remembered how my father used to look at me with a certain
look, and it said, you are disgusting, pigging all that stuff. Disgusting! No wonder Ive
thought of myself as having a disgusting overweight body.
even though I think I am utterly disgusting

and my body is disgusting
and I feel disgusting
I choose to love myself EXACTLY as I am
How we punish ourselves! And how we punish others with our critical, judgmental
thoughts and statements!
punishment
That whole thing made me think of the time when my dad came upstairs to find me, age 8
or 9, being scolded by my mother for sneaking some of her secretchocolate stash.
He was furious. He took over the scolding. He led me into the bathroom, bared my little
bottom, wet his old fraternity paddle (if youve never seen one, its shaped just like a short-
handled boat paddle, about 2 feet long, and has fraternity designations carved on it). He
loudly smacked me three or four times.
I was ashamed, enraged and humiliated. I wasnt a bad girl, I just wanted the candy. I felt
enraged that anyone would hit me. Most of all, I was humiliated to the core that he had
the gall to take my pants down - and then paddle me, as well. Just a little invasive! Tapping
material? You bet! A high rating of 10 for all of it.
even though I was ashamed

and embarrassed
even though I was furious - livid!
and soooooo humiliated
and I choose to forgive myself for my own contribution to this, and anyone else involved
for their contribution to the situation
In truth, he was doing what he thought was right, with the background and experience he
had. His father had paddled him, and so on back to who knows when.
whos being punished?

Punishment certainly didnt do any good to keep me from wanting or sneaking the
chocolate. I think I may have eventually done it to pester them, to get back at, or punish
them for punishing me.
even though I used sneaking chocolate to get back at my parents

even though I hated that they had such control over me
and that they had such power
and I felt like had none
and I punished them back for punishing me
Isnt it absurd to think that something like sneaking and eating chocolate punishes someone
else? We only punish ourselves and our bodies! Logic doesnt apply when emotions reign.
shes hopeless
I can hear my dad saying, Oh Mommy, what are we going to do with her? Shes hopeless.
even though no-one can do anything with me

Im hopeless
its hopeless
I still hear Pa say,shes hopeless
I choose to love myself for who I really am
and know Im full of glorious hope and ability
taking it away
Now I felt almost done. But if I thought about never ever having chocolate again, a feeling
of quite desperate deprivation came.
even though I feel desperate and deprived if I even think about giving up chocolate
Id lose a good friend
I choose to release my strangle hold on it
Interesting - when I started, I had thought chocolate had a hook into me. Now I could see I
had a hold on it!
not welcome
Now I had this funny little image - it was strange - it wasnt really a vision, but I could see
their faces as if through a haze. They were talking about me as if I couldnt hear. My father
looked displeased. My mother looked tired and uninterested. It was probably when I was
very little. The feeling I had was not being wanted, appreciated, or welcome. Big 10 rating.
even though I felt unwelcome

even though I feel unwelcome
even though I felt unappreciated or wanted
even though I feel unappreciated or wanted
and I choose to love, appreciate, want and welcome myself anyway
I felt around carefully. I looked for other images, but none came up. Zero.
Was I completely done? Felt like it. Time would tell. At this writing, a month later, I still
have no craving for chocolate or any other chocolate-related foods. I can actually enjoy a
little it at lunch or something, but I dont crave it, and I dont want to guzzle the entire
plate of it anymore.
detective work
Intellectually, I know that in the majority of cases, all an addictive craving is is simply an
indication of anxiety or discomfort.
I knew that before I started any of this chocolate tapping.
But in this case, chocolate and the craving for it had ruled so much of my life I wanted to
clear as much of the whole issue as I could, so I aggressively went after and worked on all
the aspects of the issue that I could find.
Think of all the time and energy I have spent on thinking about, wanting, and trying to
get chocolate! What a waste! What else could I have been doing with my time, money and
energy??? I could have been saying and tapping on:
even though I have this anxiety

One more thing: I also tapped on regretting all that time, money and energy lost to the
anxiety/addiction! Well, at least Ive been through something I can help someone else
through now -
persistence
Its easy to see how important persistance is, and how important it is to be open to address-
ing any and every issue that comes up.
More persistence
Sarah wants a husband
Sarah is a beautiful, 55 year old woman who lives near the beach in the states in a lovely,
comfortable apartment. She works as a consultant behind the scenes in the film industry,
and it looks like she has everything. She wants, and cant seem to attract, a husband. Shes
been through many relationships, but none of them ever took. We worked by telephone,
a highly effective way to do EFT.
list
We made a list of some thoughts she had about that problem:
Ill never have a man

Ill never find one who loves me
Ill never be able to be in relationship without blowing it
they always say Im too much
Im too emotional
Im too committed to my work and have no time for them
Im always, off to another country
Im too ugly
Im too old
Im too overweight
Im too broke
I have too sharp a tongue
I dont believe theres any man who would want to be with me
I dont believe theres any man who can keep up with me
I dont believe theres any man who can put up with me
I dont believe theres any man I want to put up with!
Maybe I dont believe its even worth it to be with a man
(Note: Men - just put the word woman where you see man - !!!)
We tapped, using two or three of these items in each setup phrase. We also tapped on
accepting myself just as I am.
This was a very big deal for her. She had been living with nightmares and memories of a
difficult childhood that snuck under and eroded her self-confidence.
Sarah recognized that she really wanted to have a good sense of self in order to make her
daily life easier. So we did quite a bit of tapping on that issue. I sent her a card with

just as I am
written on it to practice with during the week until her next session. We didnt add any
choices yet.
a shift!
When Sarah called the next week, she had a new list. She had been diligently tapping all
week, and had come to the conclusion that she really didnt need a man. She wanted to be
solid in herself first. It was an amazing shift for someone who had spent almost 30 years
crying over not having a husband!
attitude
Now Sarah was more concerned with her attitude and her work. She still wanted a man,
but wasnt so fixated on it. She sometimes flew off into a rage when anyone criticized her
work, and she was afraid of the guilt she felt afterwards and of losing her very well-paid job
because of her rages.
imbalances
She also admitted that she was tired, and wanted to work less. Sarah worked very hard
for many, high-pressure hours at a time, with a constant stream of panicky, last-minute
demands. She wanted to get into her own consulting business, where she could set her own
pace, but was afraid she wouldnt get paid as well, or even make it on her own.
I discussed with her about how fear, anxiety, rage, etc., were just symptoms, alert-flags,
pointing out energetic imbalances in the system. Sarah had a little understanding of how
quickly issues could be resolved just by having tapped all week, so she was very excited
about the next set of tapping. I had her write out another list to use as setup words. We
tapped on:
even though Im afraid of criticism

I hate it when I feel criticized
I hate being disrespected
Im afraid of losing it and feeling guilty afterwards

Im afraid of the kick-back from my rages
Im afraid of my emotions
conditioning
We discussed the conditioning that we all experience, with deeply embedded, negative
messages constantly running our lives. How we are the hardest ones on ourselves, and how
we beat up on ourselves now that we havent got our parents (siblings, teachers, etc.) around
to do it for us anymore - we embody their criticism and take it on. She realized her self-
criticism was worse than anything she had ever actually heard from anyone.
We went through the list quickly. It was exciting to hear her voice get more animated. This
time, we also created an I choose list:
I choose to let go of self-criticism

to let anyone elses criticism slide off my back
to respect and honor myself for the incredible work Ive done already
to have faith in myself and my work
I choose to be happy with myself as I am
I choose to love and honor my emotions
work
We went next to the work situation. She was on call almost 24 hours a day - way too much
for one person! But she was afraid that if she didnt do it, someone else would come in and
take over, and shed lose her position.
wanting what WE think we dont want

I asked her if not having the position was really what she wanted - it seemed that she was
trying to cling to one thing even as she wanted to let it go to be able to start the other.
Sarah gasped, and, sounding incredulous - she said, I hadnt even thought of that! Here I
am trying to save my job, when if someone else took over itd be a blessing! I guess what
worries me the most is being able to make it outside the film industry.
even though I dont want to work so hard,

I dont want to be on call anymore
Im tired
Im afraid of giving up my position
Im afraid to go out on my own
Ill never make it
I wont get paid enough
go for it!
I asked Sarah why she thought shed have to move outside of the industry. Why not go
independent, and if she didnt work with the same people, then network and get referrals,
and work at her own pace? She paused for a long time, considering this option. Shed never
thought about it! She said, I can do that! We tapped on:
I choose to work at my own healthy pace

I work the hours of my choice
I get plenty of rest
Im easily creating my own niche
of course I can make it!
of course I get paid well!
people respect my expertise and abilities and pay me well
next week
The next week, we worked on her desire to continue travelling, her doubt about being able
to do that; and her fears of growing old and ugly.
We discussed how easy it might be to simply work where her clients were - all over the
world, instead of maintaining a local clinic or office. I suggested she think of herself as an
International Consultant. She took a huge sigh as she thought of that, as if her whole being
had been constricted into one little I-have-to-stay-home statement.
even though I think I have to stay here for my clients

I cant travel and work my own business and
Im afraid of growing old and ugly
I hate my body the way it looks
I hate how flabby I feel
I also had Sarah go to the scales and see what her weight was, and compare it to the
normal weight she had experienced as a school girl. She said it was less!
perception is everything!
So I then asked her if, just by chance, her job working so many long hours had prevented
her from exercising or eating well, the way she would normally ike to do. That being out of
shape was perhaps why she felt run-down and old looking.
She groaned, thinking about it, but then exclaimed, Yes! If I set up my business in a way
that is good for me, I can go for a walk every single day if I want, any time I want! I really
can be healthy! Yes! So then we tapped on:
I choose to live where I want when I want

to accept my body as it is,
and care for it and love it as it is
and she added:
to simply love myself and my life
Thats all it was, she said. Thats all it was. I just never took the time to notice that all I
had to do was love my life!
persistence
furthers!
Chasing the Pain

Chapter fourteen
Following the pain as it moves

Pain sometimes moves around in the body during a tapping session.
Following it and tapping on each one as it comes up can be a powerful way to eliminate
both a physical and/or an emotional problem. If were tapping away on an issue and it get too
uncomfortable to think about, we can shift our focus to the sensations in the body, rather than
the emotional issue.
Since the emotions and the physical are so deeply intertwined, we can tap the emotional issue
down by addressing the physical pain.
If you follow the pain all the way around your system
until all of it is gone, youll usually find that the charge on the issue
you started on will be gone, as well.
Many times we will be tapping along on one pain or sensation, and a whole other pain/sensation
comes up, just as the aspects of an issue will pop up one after the other. So - we tap on it. And
when another pain or sensation pops up in yet a new place, we tap on that as well! Like this:
even though I have this pain in my back

That seems to be gone, but now theres another one. So the setup may sound like this:
even though now I have this ache in my neck

even though I now have this twinge in my foot
Doing this is called chasing the pain.

just a little while ago

In the kitchen, I went for the box of rice crackers - those little round thin crunchy crispy
salty Japanese-ish things that appeared on the market about a year ago, coming in lots of
flavors.
These were simple plain rice crackers with salt. I ate one. As it crunched in my mouth, it
was like eating sawdust. Salty sawdust. It didnt feel like lively, healthy food.
My mind shouted, if I eat dead food, how can I support my live body?
lifeless food
I tapped on eating lifeless food. Since I know that its common to eat to get numb, I tapped
on:
even though I eat to numb myself

and I have some anxiety
I choose to eat food that helps me feel alive and easily relax
As I stood there tapping, my belly rumbled and felt very unhappy. So I tapped on:
even though this gave me a belly ache

and I didnt really like it
I choose to eat fresh food and be pain free
Now I felt OK, and went for a fresh apple!
right now
I want to write about something, but Im experiencing something I need to get
through first.
I was fine till I sat down to write. But right now the tips of my fingers feel like theyre stick-
ing to the keyboard as I type. Its producing a feeling of deep revulsion.
Its as if the skin has been extra-sensitized, the whorls of the prints swelling up and out,
sticking themselves to the keys. It feels like it would on a freezing day and you get wet fin-
gers stuck to the metal of a pipe. So Im tapping:
even though I feel deep revulsion

and my skin is extra-sensitive
and my fingertips are swelling and sticking to the keys

changing
As I write and tap on myself, the sensation is leaving a bit, and is changing to a dull ache
in the tips of only some of the fingers. Now they feel cold, sensitive, a little moist, but not
sticky. I would say the botheration level would be about an 8.
even though I have a dull ache in the tips of some fingers and they feel cold, sensitive, and a
little moist
I want to see what happens if I keep writing, tapping and chasing the sensation as I write.
My stomach is churning. Im breathing deeply.
Now I want to rub my fingers against cloth. I do so, rubbing them on my pant-leg. The
right index finger is the most sensitive, and feels like - oh - like it does if it has blood on it.
Interesting.
even though my stomach is lurching, and

my finger feels like it has sticky blood on it
belly
As I keep writing, my stomach is lurching. I feel a heat wave lightly run from my left shoul-
der to the top of my head.
My breathing is shortening. The heat is increasing. My breath is very tight. Its hard to write
and not stop. My stomach is clenching. I hear the words, You cant do this in my mind.
even though Im hot in my shoulder

to the top of my head
my breath is short and tight
the breath is tightening and
its hard to write and
my stomach is clenching again and
I know I cant do this
and I choose have choice and know I CAN
I feel a big sigh. The heat is evening out. Its running down my left side. Gone. Im feeling
great.
I take a drink of water and a slice of the apple I just brought back from the kitchen. Its
coolness and crunchiness feel good, alive.
better now
OK. Now my fingers and stomach feel better. The right index one is still a bit off - it feels
cold and a bit numb, but at least it isnt sticking to the keys (I wonder if fingers can feel
guilty?).
Im remembering that for a quite a while now, about a month or so, my finger tips have
been very sensitive. I hadnt stopped to really notice or do anything about it.
I still have a kind of queasy feeling. Im suddenly flashing on the material in the sessions a
client and I have been working on. Tapping on feeling queasy:
even though I feel queasy right now

even though Im a bit cold and my stomach is tight again,
even though I feel fear in my throat and the cold covers my shoulders like an icy cloak
All of a sudden, theres a big Sigh. OK. Feels like its all gone. Cool.
Using this to clear trauma
Chasing the pain or the sensations in the body like this can be used
very effectively to work on almost anything thats hard to face.
Ben, a 32 year old health practitioner, wanted to work on the abuse he experienced as a
child. Despite the fact that he remembered specific incidents very clearly, he hated the idea
of feeling them all over again. So we used this method instead of looking into and re-feeling
each incident, since it felt a whole lot safer for him to do so.
Once his father locked Ben up in the garage, not letting him our for hours. It was dark,
cramped and cold. There were no blankets, food or toilet facilities. By the time his father let
him out, he was faint from hunger, half frozen, and had soiled his pants.
into the box

He put this whole scene onto movie film, in a film can, that went into a box. He identified
and tapped on the pain in his body that emerged as he held the box on his lap, calling up
certain frames from the movie film. We started out with:
even though I feel cold in my heart

I Know Im OK.
He wasnt at all comfortable with accepting himself. Knowing he was OK suited him fine.
He tapped on the cold (9). It went away, but a heat came up in his belly (8).
even though I feel like Im on fire....
The fire went down to a 2, and then his back tensed up and he suddenly looked like a
badly hunched over old man (10). We did some no-words tapping as his eyes filled with
tears. I had him tap his collarbone point as I held his hand and tapped on the karate chop
point.
I asked him to just focus on the pain in the body, not the scene in the movie. That evened
him out. We got the pain in his back down to a one, and then he said he felt as if his back
had been scalded (8). Pain after pain came up and we tapped them all down. By the end of
the hour and a half session, Ben was calm and serene. I asked him if he could look into the
film box without pain.
He gave an enormous sigh, grinned and said hed already thrown it away, and that the
events on the film were old stuff I dont need to even think about anymore.
trauma workshop
I went to a workshop here in New Zealand that specifically addressed dealing with clients
like Ben who had experienced trauma. We spent two days focusing on various traumatic
and upsetting events that had happened to us.
Instead of feeling the emotional pain, we were asked to focus on the pain in the body, rath-
er than the scenes in the event. We simply sat there and followed the pain from one place in
the body to another. As we did, we narrated the movement as it changed and shifted within
the body.
It went like this:

We would say, for example, Remembering _____X_____ (this incident), I feel a bit of a
tightness in my throat. It feels sharp, and like my throat will close up, and it scares me.
Our partner with would say, Just focus on the sensation. Leave the fear behind for now.
Then the narration would start up again: Its shifting to my chest, where I feel it lodge
behind my breast bone like a sharp nail.
Now its moving down to my belly, and feels like someone is clenching my guts with a
huge fist.
With each narration of the location and description of the physical sensation, we would
wait to let the feeling move away to another place. It was very slow, very soft and, despite
the nature of feeling the pain being the crux of the process, it was relatively painless com-
pared to the original trauma.
with EFT
Now I look back on that weekend, I know that if I had known EFT, I could have moved
through the events and memories much more easily and with even less pain that I did then.
What is really ironic is that on the sheets we received to read when we got home, there was
mention of, and a tiny bit of information about - guess what! - EFT! I never had time to
look it up, and the papers eventually got lost in the shuffle. That was a year before I finally
found EFT on the internet!
confusion/protection
Taylor, a 43 year old musician, seemed to have a constant sense of confusion. Its been an
amazing protection device for her. If theres confusion, the present is never clear, so the
real truth of how she feels is never really accessed. Any pain or discomfort is held at arms
length, and cant hurt as much.
acknowledge the confusion

We cant get clear of the pain until we actually acknowledge it. But we need to get to it
through the confusion, so that has to be tapped on first. Now, instead of re-experiencing
any painful experiences or memories, we can address any thoughts about them.
Taylor is one of those people who has a hard time visualizing, or identifying her feelings.
When I work with her, we just tap on intense thoughts. Whats the diff? Weve chased all
kinds of wild thoughts all over her mind, just as we can chase pain and emotion.
chase the pain!

When the emotional pain is too much, follow and tap on the sensations in the body.
Surrogate &
Silent Tapping
chapter fifteen
tapping for others

Surrogate tapping is a way to help if someone is unable to participate in a session.
They might be either too young to understand, or injured, or too far away to come to the
session.
its all vibration

I learned how to do surrogate work years ago practicing Holographic Repat-terning (HR).
Surrogate work is very effective. The concept of surrogate tapping is built on the same prin-
ciple used by Holographic Repatterning: the universe consists of vibrating frequencies of
energy.
Look at the black and white bzzzz on your tv set that you get when you look between the
channels. Thats what undifferentiated (non-directed) energy looks like - just a bunch of
zingy little energies buzzing around. There is no purposefulness, no pattern, no direction.
Just vibrating energy.
intention
Intention: to aim or direct; a design, or purpose towards some creation or making. When
we add intention to energy, it becomes coherent, and forms patterns and actual manifested
objects.
Coherent literally means stuck together. Coherent energy sticks together because the
electro-magnetic charge within each particle grabs onto the energy of another, and another,
and another, forming unique patterns of this now-directed energy.
The various similar patterns eventually form together into whole creations. You can see it
in fractals, in the growth of a tree, or the swirling eddies in a river, or the growth of cells in
the body.
On your tv, when coherent energy comes together and runs through one channel, it emerg-
es and appears as recognizable patterns on your screen.
we are one
If we look at the universe as swirls of energy, made out of vibrational frequency, its easy to
see the inter-connectedness of it all. As such, if I do something here, you will be affected
wherever you are, and vice versa.
Simplistically, since everything is One, then if I work on me, then I work on you as well.
directed intention
When I intend health for you - even at a distance - the ener-
Earths Field getic frequency of that intention travels to you and you get
it, no matter where you are.
fields
Vibrational energy assumes specific patterns in every being.
Each of us, and everything in the cosmos, has a unique
vibratory frequency. As humans, we have energy patterns
that, although similar enough to recognize each other, are
also each unique.
This energy swirls into, inside, out of and outside of our bodies in what is called a field.
Our fields are within the larger field of the earth, which is in turn within the larger field of
the solar system, and so on.
Within us, the various parts of our bodies have fields, themselves - each cell, The
each bone, each organ, has its own field. Human
Field
beyond time
Thought operates outside of space and time. Any thought I have for you will
automatically be in your field without my actually having to send it.
As soon as I think of you, your vibrational pattern pulsates within my field. At

that moment, not only are you in my vibrational field - I am also in yours. The
more clearly I think of you, the more your energy swirls in my field. Its really
that simple. Thats why the Beatles song, The Walrus, which says: I am you and
you are me and we are all together was so relevant. It expresses the idea perfectly.
knowing by feeling
How many times has the phone rung and you just knew who was on the line - and you
were right?
How many times has your mind wandered to a thought of someone, only to have a call
from them in the next fifteen minutes to half hour?
How many times have you thought of someone, and a letter or email from them arrived the same
day or hour?
in our feeld
You were feeling them in your field (I sometimes think field should be spelled feeld
- because we have sensations in our immediate surrounding area, our field - and the way
we access those sensations is by feeling them! So it would follow that I feel someone in my
feeld!). Their thoughts of you came right into your field. You felt them on some level,
recognizing their energy and knowing exactly who it was when the phone rang.
When we intend energy to someone, its there before we can finish our thought.
Intention is the strongest force in the universe. Its instantaneous.
a distance session
My favorite distance HR session was one I did for a young man who lived in South
America. I was living in New York at the time. His mother asked me to do a session on
him, as he had called her for help getting out of a very
harmful social situation. She got his permission for me to
work on him.
Healing
I did a fairly simple session, addressing and clearing various
Intentions
negative beliefs and skewed values.
His mother called me a week later, saying that he had quit

the gang he was in, had thrown away his gang clothes and bought
new clothes. He had gone for a job interview, and was even being
civil to his grandmother and sister for the first time in years. All
this from one one-hour session!
surrogate EFT
Surrogate tapping using EFT is extremely effective. My
friends, students and I have done quite a few surrogate tapping sessions with EFT, with
some marvelous results.
group surrogate work

Eileen, one of my Reclaim Your Energy class participants, is highly committed to her own
well-being, tapping on herself every day. She has moved mountains of negative beliefs and
habits from her life, and is now happier and more able to cope with lifes up and downs
without the rage and powerlessness by which she used to feel run.
She has a 7 year old daughter, Helen, who used to go into tantrums on a fairly regular basis.
In the class, we did a surrogate mini-session on her one day. We declared as a group, My
name is Helen, and tapped on:
even though I never get my way and

no-one pays attention to me and
I cant speak my truth without having a hissy fit or a wild tantrum
Im still a great kid, and my Mum really loves me. And,
I choose to be able to express what I want calmly
We did a few other rounds, then declared our own names again.
The next class, Eileen reported that Helen had been calm all week. Now, a few weeks later,
Helen so far has been tantrum-free.
when the subject is present

This is tapping for a subject who is right there in the room, but cant or wont
participate for some reason.
Maybe they cant move because of injury, handicap or incapacity. Perhaps theyve been hurt
in an accident and cant move, or have arthritis so bad they cant use their hands, or are a
rape or abuse victim who experiences panic if anyone approaches the face or body.
It might be a baby or child who is too young to, or cannot, comprehend what is going on.
Or its someone who could be in a coma or other mental state or condition that would pre-
vent being able to act independently. It could even be an animal or bird!
here are some ways to do it

Use another person as a sit-in, or proxy, for the subject; or the practitioner would do the
work on himself with the intention that the actual subject receive the benefits of the work.
The practitioner(s) can put himself aside and announce that he is the subject, reclaim-
ing himself after the session.
Or he can just tap on his own body with the intent that the energy goes to the subject iden-
tified.
Or the tapping can be done silently/mentally for a subject who might be anywhere, in the
room or far away.
added benefits
An interesting aspect of this work is that whoever is doing the session
gets the benefit of the cleared energy as well as the intended subject!
This effect of everyone benefitting from the session is one reason using EFT is so energizing
and satisfying. Neither the subject nor the practitioner has to experience intense past-trau-
ma, and they dont get burnt out by sad tales. The practitioner experiences as much clear
energy as the client!
We can work on a subject who is at

any distance who is unable to come to the session.
proxy for group

We can have someone act as a proxy for the energy of an entire group that has
gathered, or a group of people who are not even there.
Group sessions are incredibly effective, as the group energy multiplies exponentially.
Group sessions can be held on diverse issues, or on particular issues.
proxy for distant session

If we cant go to a session, we can ask someone who is going to the session to
proxy us in.
That means when they get there, they declare that they are representing our energy for us,
and that we are there, as well, to receive the energy of the work. The group facilitator also
intends that the energy from the session goes to us.
becoming the subject

The practitioner can become the other person for the duration of the session. That way
s/he is intimately involved in the subjects frequency, often to the point that s/he can feel
what the subject is feeling.
Becoming the other person isnt as difficult or scary as it might seem. All we do is put our
identity as ourselves aside for a time, announce that we are them, and do the work. At the
end, we declare that we are ourselves again, and go on normally.
get clear and declare

First we get clear on, and declare, our intent to do work for the well-being of the subject, so
the subjects Higher Self knows whether to screen anything that is coming towards it or
not. Its a bit like sending them a call or letter telling them our intentions. We can simply
hold the thought of healing for them, or actually declare out loud.
request highest effects

Then we send out a prayer or request that only the highest and most beneficial effects of
our work are received and assimilated by the subject.
pause
After we declare, either silently or out loud, what we intend to do for that person (or group,
plant, place, creature or animal), we allow a few seconds to pass while that message is being
received, before we start.
do the do
Then we do the work.
re-declare!
Remember to re-declare our own identity!
If you have not re-declared your identity you may end up feeling dizzy and out of sorts, out
of balance. The feeling of disorientation will usually last until you remember to re-declare, or
till you go to sleep and your self comes back naturally.
example
Doing a session or a few rounds of tapping on a friend.
I get myself quiet. I think about and feel the issues that are up for my friend, Joe. I get my
intentions clear - Im here to work on getting something cleared for him.
Then I declare out loud: My name is Joe, and Im doing this with love. I then go about
doing the session as if I were him, right here with me. I do all the setup statements and
tapping on myself. At the end, when the session is complete, I take a deep breath. On the
last out-breath, I declare, My name is Angela, and I come back to being me.
caution!
Remember that any harmful energy that we intend or send out only
multiplies and comes right back to us. Be careful - not only for
yourself but for others! Remember that the Universe is One -
if we hurt them, we hurt us!
ethics
Because of the immediacy and effectiveness of sending energy, most times I like to self-
impose certain steps when I do distance or surrogate work.
permission
Since I like to be a person of choice, I like it when people ask me whether or not its OK
to do work on me. They already know I will say yes, but its nice to have their respectful
request. Feels good to be able to choose.
I like to get permission from the intended subject first in order to avoid being invasive.
Even though I know their Highest Knowing will filter out whatever is not needed or want-
ed, it just feels good to me. Just as I would ask a mother or father before tapping with their
child, or a client who is unable to do the tapping himself.
how do we know?
There are those who ask: who really knows what is best for himself or his child? Sometimes
things that seem like the worst catastrophes end up being the most awesome gifts anyone
could have had. Why is the gift of healing intention so terrible? How does it interfere with
our free will? If we, ourselves intend healing for ourselves or our child, why not accept help?
Maybe this is even the help we requested!!
love is our natural state

There are arguments that there is no need for anyone to ask permission to send a loving
thought, prayer or healing intention. After all, we dont ask anyone for permission to send
negative or hurtful thoughts, do we? We just do it nilly-willy. So why are we asking for
permission to send beneficial thoughts or intentions? Doesnt make much sense, does it?
After all, love is our natural state, and needs no permission to be. I like to ask first, but you
do as it feels right for you.
no hands!
tapping by intention only
There are times when tapping out loud or using any kind of hand movement is
uncomfortable, inappropriate, or physically impossible.
So what do you do when your little child is all rolled up on your lap, in agony with a
tummy-ache, and you only have one point available to tap on him?
What do you do when youre upset about something, but youre with a group of people
who havent a clue about what EFT is and maybe wouldnt be open to seeing you tap?
What do you do when you see someone in the next aisle over from you on the plane who is
white with terror? Or perhaps green with airsickness?
What do you do when youre driving along with your wife or husband who thinks EFT is a
crock, and youre petrified by the way the car is slipping on the ice?
What do you do when someone is really getting on your nerves by crinkling their chips bag
right behind you at the movies? (This was mine.... )
the answer is....

Tap anyway! Silently!
Our intention is silent before it is ever manifest in this real world, anyway, isnt it?
Intention comes first, then the conscious thought, then the action.
So if my child is all curled up crying on my lap, and the only point available to me is the
top of the head or the right temporal lobe over the ear, then I will use that one and intend
that the rest are being tapped as I go along.
If my husband is driving like a maniac on icy roads, then I will tap silently, using all the
points, from top of the head to the Gamut! Its just as effective, and just as fast, in most
cases. This is a great opportunity to let your imagination and intuition fly.
My friend Rosie tells me her husband sometimes wakes up and tells her to quit flapping
around like a damn chicken! So if Im lying in bed and dont want to tap on all the points
or wake anyone up with my speaking or tapping, I lie on my side and put one hand where
I can gently tap on the collarbone point, imagining that Im tapping on all of them through
that one point. Including the Karate Chop Point and/or Sore Spots.
Or I do the Easy Comfort Procedure, or the Super Tap (see chapter 19, Illustrations of
More Tapping Spots) that I invented.
How do you do it?

You just imagine that youre tapping the Karate Chop Point or rubbing the Sore Spot.
Silently do the three Setup Statements, then silently say the Reminder Phrase as you imag-
ine yourself tapping down from the top point to the underarm point.
Imagine yourself doing

any of the tapping procedures.
who can I use this on?

Yourself, at any time or place where you can safely put your attention on it. For anyone else,
no matter where they or you are. They could even be underwater, across the world, on the
space station, or on Alpha Centauri, and you could still tap for them.
Using it for babies too young to know how is terrific. And for older kids is great, because
you can do something for them without them feeling embarrassed or ashamed, or having to
talk about how theyre feeling.
It allows great privacy for them (and although I prefer to help them through a session in
which they can voice their troubles, I also recognize that many kids - and adults, for that
matter! - really do not want anyone to know whats going on. So being silent as they tap is a
great boon).
With any parent, there are times we feel helpless in the face of our childs upset. Now we
can help! How Id have loved to have had this when my kids were little!
tap! now!
We can watch them slam the door and stomp up to their room - and then we can just sit
down and tap for them! Ha! You can also tap on how you feel about their upset. You could
silently say, for instance:
even though Im really upset at my mom

Im still a great kid and I know Mom loves me Healing
even though I hate doing my history home work, Intentions
I know Im smart
even though I hate not being able to call my girlfriend

and I have to do my homework first
I know Im a great kid
even though I feel so frustrated about his being so upset

A little while later he will come back down all smiles and
call his girlfriend - never knowing how you helped him
calm down and confidently do his homework. Smile back!
shorty version
On the plane, I can use my shorty version - the Easy Comfort Procedure - by tapping
under the eye, on the bump on the collarbone and in the center of the chest, and repeating
silently:
even though Im terrified/about to be sick,

I know Im OK
Then I take a:
deep breath with my hand flat over my heart.
If that one round isnt enough, I do it again until it feels complete. Its short and works
great. The shorty version works well when Im driving, too. When I have a feeling come up
or when I get sleepy, I just tap on those three points as I say,
even though Im falling asleep

and Im so groggy,
I know Im OK
It works - try it!

at the movies....
Something happened recently that was very interesting. A few weeks ago, Freda and I went
to see a movie - Snow Dogs, I think it was. There was a little boy sitting close behind me on
my right who had a bag of potato chips that he continually scrunched so it wrinkled and
crinkled and made a constant high, annoying sound right, it seemed, in my right ear.
furious!
I felt so infuriated by the middle of the film I wanted to spring out of my chair and grab
the bag out of his hands and smash it on the ground! Finally I just turned and looked at him
and he stopped for a while, but unconsciously started up again not long after. I felt annoyed
and distracted for almost the entire film. Later I asked Freda if she had felt as annoyed as I
did, and she said she hadnt even noticed it! Strangely enough, with all the tapping Id been
doing, I didnt even remember to tap on it while it was happening.
A situation can be so real to us that we get caught up in the event and the emotions and
we forget that its about us, not them. That its just a reflection of our own inner wiring.
Hmmmm....
again!
At another performance not too long afterwards, what do you think happened - again??? A
woman sat right behind me and scratched her fingernail against her nubbly skirt over and
over - not even in time with the music. It made a horrid scratchy nasty sound that went
right to the center of my head.
tapping for distraction

At first I felt like crying. Was I going to have to suffer the same distraction again? But this
time I remembered. I thought, well, lets try the mental tapping on her and on me, too.
These were some of the words I said in my mind as I mentally rubbed the Sore Spot:
even though I ground myself by making annoying noises

I feel so shattered I cant even think straight,
I choose to approve of myself and my life.
even though I feel so annoyed by the way things are

I Know Im OK and I can let this silly thing go.
Funny, isnt it - after I tapped on that, the next times I went to the movies, guess what has
never happened again....
Tapping on Physical Issues

Chapter sixteen
want more energy?

Ever wondered if you could increase your energy for going through the day?
Heres an easy way to do that.
RATE GAUGE
Imagine a gauge or thermometer which represents the levels of functioning
for your body/system.
10
rate your energy level 9
On that scale of one to ten, with ten being the optimal level of energy for your
body, how much energy do you have right now to go through your day? Look 8
at the gauge, and see what level you feel as if you are operating at right now. It
might be low and sluggish - a 3 maybe? Or perhaps you feel pretty good today -
an 8.
7
how much to increase?
6
This is important - keep it safe for your system. Look at the thermometer and
see the level its safe to raise your levels of energy to, for now. Its best not to raise 5
it any higher than your safe reading so that you avoid any extra, un-necessary
stress to your system. 4
By stating that youre seeking your own perfect safe level of function right now,
youre keeping within what is safe for you within the parameters of what works
3
for you at this time. You can always re-do this again at a later time. 2
If seeing the thermometer doesnt work for you, use the truth measure we
talked about earlier - how true is it that I operate at 100% for my body? 10%? 1
80%? And importantly, how do I feel about not operating at 100% optimum
levels of energy for my body?
Get a feel for it, or guess (which is one way of allowing your unconscious mind to tell you
what it is). You dont have to be rigidly perfectly accurate here - were only looking for a
measure with which to compare results when were done.
SETUP/TAPPING
Even though my body only runs at ______ %,
I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself and my body.
This clears out the most obvious blockages to the whole process, and leads us in the next
and more specific step.
Even though my system has energy disruptions that slow me and my body down,
I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself and my body
and I choose to release and repair everything that slows me and my body down.
NEW RATING
Take a new rating. Repeat this process with more specific phrases or ideas you flash on as
you go, until you reach the 100% mark of what is safe for you today, until you feel good, or
want to stop.
Regular use of this will increase your energy levels and give you a whole new sense of self.
You may have to adjust your daily habits to the increased level of energy since you may not
need as much sleep. Of course, if you want to go to sleep and cant, you can always tap on
that, too!
hating Cold mornings

I have always hated being cold, ever since I can remember. My family used to make fun of
me, and my brother, too, for being wimps and making such a big deal out of the cold. I still
dont much like it, but not as bad as before.
I can see Pa standing over my bed at five am, waking me up for school. Feeling the icy air
on my skin as he rips the covers almost completely off the bed. Me getting angry because
my bed was so hard to make, being so high off the floor, and he has just completely ripped
it apart. Him laughing.
I stumble to the bathroom, get ready, go down and eat breakfast Im not even hungry for.
We crunch through the snow to the car, drive on slick roads to get on the train. Standing
swaying in the crush of people in the aisle of the hour-long train ride into NYC. Men
pressing on me,trying to grope me through my thick woolen coat; moving to avoid them.
My father oblivious.
The cold, dark, slippery subway, then running as fast as I can with my huge portfolio
billowing out to either side of me, a big stiff flag buffeted by gusts of frigid wind. The
school rooms hot, dry havens in the winter world. I hated that twice-daily trip.
Even though I hate the cold

I feel stopped in my tracks by the cold
I am so uncomfortable in the cold
I dont want to go out
I feel unwelcome
I detest being cold
I feel like an outsider, unreceived
unsafe and unprotected
I choose go out anyway and
deal with it happily
I choose to see that people really do
receive me with love and appreciation
I choose to feel grateful for the love
people give me
I choose to enjoy myself and my life
That was a surprise! When it came to the I choose part, I sat here and didnt know what
I was going to choose. Feel warm? Live in a warm place? Go out and buy a ton of warm
clothes?
Then it hit me - I really would like to be able to weather the weather anywhere I am.
Happily. No fuss. Just be here now and so what if its cold?
unwelcome
The unwelcome part was a surprise, too. Now, this is where persistence and remembering
about aspects comes in.
Ma told me when I was very young that when she discovered she was pregnant with me,
she tried to get rid of the pregnancy. She tried bouncing in bumpy car rides and running
around. She felt that it was way too soon after my father got home from the war to get
pregnant. Because I was so young when she told me this, I didnt understand. I had no idea
about how it takes time to get used to each other after a long separation, and getting back
into the swing of things together, or the intensity a pregnancy and baby adds to a family.
I grew up wondering if she still felt that way. I asked her once or twice, and she would
exclaim vehemently that of course they wanted me! But I never could get it out of my mind.
Imagine if I had had and been able to use EFT then! How different my life - how different
all our lives - would have been!
its not about me!

She tried to stress that she had tried to end the pregnancy, not me. But the thought that she had
wanted to get rid of me still sat there lurking under everything. I wasnt wanted, I wasnt welcome.
I always felt like an outsider in my own family. Now that Ive done extensive tapping on that, I can
now talk about it without the charge that was always there before. Cool.
more cold
She also told me her account of her time in the hospital after she gave birth to me. It had
been very cold in the delivery room at my birth, being in December, and even though she
had been heated up by the effort of childbirth, her hands and feet still felt like ice, her bot-
tom half numb with spinal block. Makes me wonder how I must have felt, slipping out of
her all wet and naked and vulnerable!
Ah! Theres a good one!
Even though I feel weak and vulnerable when its cold,

Even though I feel weak and vulnerable
I choose to keep my power no matter what the environment
As soon as I finished that round, I felt done. Big sigh. Good example of how one issue
can lead to another, seemingly unconnected one! Now I notice that I dont feel the cold so
sharply anymore. I still feel it! But it doesnt bother me as much.
betty
Betty came over this afternoon after work. She looked tired and harassed. Her job is very
high-stress, sometimes involving very difficult people. She also spends a lot of time with her
family, and runs a home business, so she is busy busy busy. She looked like she was going to
fall over any minute. I asked her if shed like to tap on being tired. She gladly said yes, since
she had to keep going with more to do after she left here, and wanted to be awake for it.
exhausted
I had her measure the intensity of feeling sleepy and tired. It was about an 9.
Even though I am exhausted and sleepy

We did one little round, and she felt much better. About a 3, she said. So I asked her how
she would really want to feel. She said light, awake and very energized.
Even though I am still exhausted and sleepy

I choose to feel light, awake and very energized
A zero! Bingo! She was thrilled. We talked about EFT and discussed how it would be a great
tool for her own work with the people she had to care for. She was enthusiastic and happy
to feel the effects of even such a short session.
I get confused when people tell me they want something and then dont/wont make time
or find the resources to attain it. Betty told me she would be interested, but I never heard
about it from her again, and we had two workshops later that she opted out on. Why do
people do that? Ah, well. Must be her own inner timing.
Cheryl
Its astounding to me to think about not bothering to make the time to learn EFT when it
helps people so much. Like little Cheryl.
Cheryl is an 11 year old girl who sustained significant brain damage several years ago. She
is as yet unable to stand up straight, walk, or even crawl on all fours by herself, speak
clearly, or hold both of her eyes in focus at once. She hasnt yet reclaimed control of her leg
muscles, which spasm rapidly when she attempts to walk. This causes her to look as if her
body is trying to run instead of walk.
Cheryl couldnt tap, but could hold her finger on a single tapping spot. That worked well, so
I took her through several rounds of tapping, including:
even though Im so mad I cant walk, and

I want to catch up for all the time Ive lost
its hard to slow my muscles down so I can walk,
its so hard to walk or crawl,
my arms and legs dont do what I want
its so hard to see straight, and
I know Im OK, and Im a really great kid, and
I know I can do it.
She was then able to quickly achieve some simple but for her, difficult, physical maneuvers
that had been almost impossible only a week before.
At one point, Cheryl wanted to show us (Mum and Auntie were there, too) how she could
get off her bed by herself without falling. This was a major accomplishment, since not long
ago it had taken her a long time to do.
dolly
She then showed me her dolly. I held it, and showed her how to tap on it. She really liked
that, and took over, herself, tapping a couple of rounds - with me directing when she got
stuck - even beginning to voice the phrases in a whisper. Her whisper was stronger as we
tapped more, becoming more fully-voiced words near the end of the session.
She was very excited about the process. Her eyes - which at a few points during the session,
came right into co-ordinated focus as she looked at me, and I knew she was right there with
us - lit up, and her little body was shivering with energy.
It was very moving to see such amazing progress in one short hour.
At a later session, she was now able to hold a cup of water and drink it all by herself,
without anyone assisting her or holding her hands steady, which only a short time before
had been impossible.
After note:
I saw Cheryl yesterday. I asked her if she had been tapping, and she said, On my dolly.
We know about getting the benefits from tapping on others, right?
When Cheryl surrogate taps on her dolly, guess who gets the same benefits as her dolly!
make a list
1. Write out what we dont like about our life. This is the setup list.
In a recent self-session, dividing a piece of paper into two columns, I wrote my dislikes on
the left side. I was surprised to see how fast I got into writing I hate.... at the beginning of
each line, and how furious I felt about it all. Not just mad, but furious. I listed the feelings
as I wrote.
2. I wrote out what I would rather have, instead. This was my choice list.
To the right of the first list, I wrote the opposite of each negative item, using very specific
language - i.e., instead of saying free of debt, rather, so-and-so is paid off. Or instead of I
have more money, I wrote I easily make (a specific amount) per month.
3. Then I tapped on all the I-dont-like items and the associated feelings, using
the choice list for my choices.
In the very back, sneaky, invisible part of my mind that refused to hear optimism, I was
unable to imagine my life as it might just be one day. Anything better always seemed to be
out of reach. But by the time I was finished, the anger and resentment was gone, and , I
was more open to new possibilities.
was depression really resentment?

I realized, after I had done the exercise, that a feeling I had been wrestling with recently,
and naming depression, might have been resentment. I couldnt figure out why I was feeling
depression after it had been gone for so long. I thought maybe it was that I hadnt gotten
all the roots. It was weird, because it didnt feel all the way like depression - but I couldnt
name it, either. Now I realized it was resentment.
I didnt feel any shred of depression after doing it, and the resentment was totally gone. I
felt really happy.
feelings underlying feelings

I have a friend who is a psycho-therapist. She tells me - and it has been my experience with
myself as well - that under depression lies rage; under that, fear; under that, grief.
Gina feels depressed because she has no money, and is bored and angry - she feels that she
cant do what she wants to do. Why? Shes afraid to try because she might fail, be rejected,
be dismissed, lose her job, people will think shes stupid - any number of fears. Under that
would be the grief of a life passed without meaning. Big grief.
using the list on the physical

I decided this morning, as I took a walk, that Ive been feeling too heavy for way longer
than I preferred, no matter how I look to other people. That I would like to get back into
good shape again. Its time for me to pick it all up and reshape it.
negatives to the left

I thought of what I didnt like about my body and health. I imagined writing a mental list
that kind of hung in the air to my left as I walked: too heavy, too flabby, out of breath,
enough upper arm to create another two arms, enough cottage cheese on the thighs to feed
the Womens Auxiliary Luncheon for an entire month.
And more: No strength at all compared to when I was a potter, or even recently before I
stopped carving when winter came on. Fear/dislike of running because my extra weight
jiggles around and my heart beats so fast Im afraid Ill have a heart attack.
Family myths zipping through my mind - both my folks died of heart attacks so Im told
Im supposedly in line for one, myself. Not to mention that they both died comparatively
young - before either one was 70 - so I only have a few years to go before I reach that age.
Unhappy digestion and a remainder of reactions to some foods, despite all the tapping Ive
done. I obviously havent gotten to the core of those issues.
positives to the right

Then on the right side of me I imagined feeling light at my goal weight, feeling trim, deep
breath, strong, slender arms with great muscle delineation; smooth, muscled thighs; body
strength that allows me to carve all day if I like and not get winded or tired.
Feeling like I can run, jog, or walk as I please as far as I please. A strong heart with good
heart rates. Freedom from fear of heart attack, no matter what my family history is.
Knowing that as long as I live, I will be healthy, fit and strong; with great digestion, being
able to eat without guilt or worry. Knowing my subconscious knows what beliefs are at the
bottom of all this and that it will reveal them to me to be healed. Then I tapped silently as I
continued my walk:
Even though I have this extra weight on me and I have no idea what the beliefs are under
this problem
I feel heavy and overburdened and
overwhelmed and I hate it
I choose to weigh my goal weight, feeling and looking great.
ooohh no!
There was a huge part of me just sitting there sniggering. You will never weigh that again,
it said. How could you even think you could?
Even though I dont believe I can do this

and I feel angry and like I have really blown it
and I have to walk around feeling heavy, roley-poley and ugly for the rest of my life
I choose to weigh my goal weight feeling strong, attractive and great about myself.
Big yawn there, and chills down the left leg. Usually means I have a big shift. Somehow I
cant imagine that an issue that has dogged me for x number of years is so easily dismissed.
But if those other people, who, using EFT, are helped through the pain of rape and war
experiences can let go of stuff that is even heavier, permanently and in a rapid fashion, why
cant my system let this go quickly, too?
an old friend
Somehow the issue has been like an old friend. Maybe I had nothing else to think or talk
about - ugh - what a thought. It has been quite an identity.
Maybe I put on weight in order to not be so throw-around-able: Pa used to tease me and

tickle me - maybe my body wanted more padding so I was too ponderous to play with, or
not as attractive, or - maybe it was all my own perception of how I looked and felt. I tapped
on all of those.
even though its been like an old friend

I had nothing else to think or talk about
I put on weight in order to not be so throw-around-able -
even though my father used to tease me and tickle me
and maybe my body wanted more padding
I wanted to be too ponderous to play with
I wanted to be not as attractive as I could have been
maybe it was all my own perception
I deeply and completely love and accept myself and my body
There was more:
Even though I feel guilty how stuck Ive been

I was afraid people wouldnt like me because Im so heavy
and Ive been really afraid I would lose the few friends I do have if they knew how bad I
really felt
what a Bad Person I am underneath
I choose to feel and experience lightness
Even though I still feel guilty about how heavy my body has been
and it feels terrible and
I feel so incapable of getting rid of the
heaviness
I choose to be light
Big sigh again. Felt good.
After that session, I began to feel very fortunate to have a body in as good shape as it was
at that point. And I began to wake up so cheerful I surprised myself! And Ive been watch-
ing as I have been wanting to take more walks, and eat less of the foods I know I react to or
that make me heavy. Hmm.
Jerry
Jerry came for a session after having had a very private part of his body
removed. Cancer.
He was very upset. He had heard just the day before that he still had even more cancer in
some of his other organs and lymph nodes. The doctors hadnt gotten it all, after all.
He walked into the room with hunched shoulders, pale skin, hands wrung around each
other like a wilting vine. My heart leapt into my throat. I did some silent self-tapping to
calm my own energy.
Since it was the first session Jerry had ever been to that was in any way alternative, he was
very shy, doubtful and restrained. I explained a little about EFT, but wanted to help get
him calm down before we did anything else. So I asked him if hed be willing to just jump
in and do some strange stuff, and he said a very disheartened, Yeah.
feelings first
I asked him what kind of words hed describe the way he was feeling right now. He told me
he was afraid, and really upset about his recent diagnosis.
Since he was obviously having a hard time just being there, instead of confusing him with
thermometers or scales, I held my hands out as far as I could reach. I said, This symbolizes
the intensity of your feelings as a ten.
I then held my palms together in front of me and told him, This is a zero. If you were to
show me how intense your feelings were, where would you hold your hands? He grunted
and said they would escape peripheral vision. That was pretty plain. So we did some very
simple tapping on:
even though Im deeply afraid and upset

I deeply love and accept myself.
We did about five rounds, ending with the floor-to-ceiling eye maneuver (see Chapter 19,
More Tapping Spots) to clear the remnants of the little bit he felt at the end.
We went for the next and next emotional feelings he had. He had a tremendous back-up of
them. He hadnt felt calm since several months ago with the first diagnosis and removal of
the first tumors. We tapped on:
even though Im afraid to die

I dont want to leave my wife
and I dont want to leave my kids and
I dont want to go through chemo and look all hideous and die with them seeing me like
that
I dont want to do that to them
Im afraid they wont get all the cancer again and Ill have to keep suffering and get cut up
over and over again and I cant bear it
Jerry was becoming a bit more alert, now that he was less nervous. His voice was stronger
and clearer than the whisper he started out with. His hands left their tense grip in his lap
for the first time since he had come in. He even began gesturing as he spoke. His head
came up from staring at his lap.
let the energy integrate

We took a break from the tapping to allow the energy to settle a bit while we had a very
general talk about the relationship of energy to the health of the mind/body system. Jerry
had never heard of any of the theories we discussed, and seemed doubtful but willing
to listen and to tap, since he already recognized how much calmer he felt.
electricity
We went on and tapped on a few more fears, then looked at examples of the mental having
effect on the physical. I had him imagine mentally sucking on a lemon, and he was readily
willing to agree how the mental image made his mouth water and even pucker when he did
so. As an electrician, he appreciated the electric aspect of the body, how it can be reversed or
short circuited.
being present and grateful

We then tapped a bit on attitude - how important it is to avoid getting bogged down in the
negative what-ifs and to stay in the present, appreciating what he has right here right now,
even if he is scared.
even though Im still afraid of dying and

it seems so unfair that now that the kids are grown and gone and I have this new time
with my wife, I may not be able to spend it with her

I may be gone
and I deeply and completely accept myself and
I choose to choose feeling more calm and grateful
Tears here. Since he didnt want to be touched on his face, I tapped on his Karate Chop
point as he tapped on his collarbone point until he calmed. I explained about the I accept
myself and I choose statements. He was ready and willing to do that - no objection at all.
Good sense of self.
We did a few rounds tapping on how unfair it all was, how he was angry about it and
scared for his family. Color suddenly flushed his face; he became more animated and
spontaneously sat up straighter in his chair - and even smiled a bit. I didnt want to overload
him, so we agreed to close down until a later date.
It was vital, at that point and time, to help him get calm. Then to get a taste of what it felt
like to feel OK again, even if only for a short while, so he could remember what it was like
to feel strong. Then create the possibility of having a more positive viewpoint.
Jerry left still shaky but a whole lot more calm, and able to even smile a bit for the first time
since who knows when.
cold at the park

Freda and I went for a walk last winter down to the local park where the towns annual
Rhododendron Festival was going on. We ran into one of our friends, who mentioned that
she was feeling very cold. I was surprised since Im usually the one whos cold, and I felt
great! Freda suggested that we go sit down so I could show her how to tap for being warm.
We did, and in only two rounds, she felt much better. All we did was say:
Even though I feel cold,

I choose to feel warm.
No aspects, no other issues, just cold to warm.
now mom
While we sat and talked for a few minutes, her mother came along. She was cold at level
10. So we sat her down, too, and tapped with her.
At first she said it didnt work. I was feeling like it wasnt the right place to go into a lot of
detail, so I told her how to tap for herself, at home or mentally, on any remaining cold. We
talked a bit more, then left.
Later, we saw her again, and she told us that her feet were warm now - she was happy that
it had worked! It was so wonderful to be able to help someone in a definitive way, right
there and then. No long sessions or trances, no great sums of money, no ten years of ther-
apy - just right there in the middle of the park, in five tiny minutes. Bang. Amazing. I just
love it.
journal entry
Here is an excerpt from my journal on a session I did while working on a chron-
ic pain I had in my hip and lower back.
My process is no different from anyone elses. If you can get ideas of words to use or ways
to handle what you are working through by reading this, great! Thats what this is all about.
So here it is:
pain
In pain all day yesterday. Tapped on various issues, big and little, all day. This morning I
still had to tap to just get out of bed. When will this leave? Guess it took me a while to get
this way - no use expecting it to not take time to clear.
Even though I still have this pain in my hip

I hate it
I hate myself
I hate my life
I was born this way
I have a malfunction
That got it down to bearable and get-up-able.
dressing
Dressing with the inability to bend over is an interesting feat. I felt disconnected and
powerless, and unable to cope with lifes simplest tasks.
Even though I feel disconnected

powerless and unable to cope
Tears. Not much, but tears; tapping on through.

Even though Im still a bit sore now that Im standing up

disoriented and dizzy
feeling discouraged
I choose to be strong and take heart
aspects
Feeling like Im beating myself up here. Ah - an image of having been beaten, on the
ground cringing and trying to roll up for protection -
Even though I feel beat up

Trying to put my pants on, feeling like Ive been broken in two and not repaired, weak in
the middle -
Even though I feel broken

not repaired
weak in my middle -
I choose to be pain-free, repaired and 100% whole
That suddenly felt good. I went through my day without pain.
Holographic Universe
Creativity in Business, by Michael Ray and Rochelle Myers was written in 1986, but is still
crisply relevant. It speaks about the concept of how important it is to simply be ourselves, and
about delving into our deepest, most creative sources.
They speak about thinking of the universe as a hologram. As such, our thoughts, in the
form of holograms can effect what we actually experience as the world. They say that what
we are inside is what is manifested as our entire world. In thinking of the universe as holo-
graphic, that means the way we view our world is created by our own mental construct.
OK. How have I somehow manifested, within myself, that pain in my hip? How have I
constructed a world view that includes feeling all the things I have been feeling?
you created it!

I want to say something here about this glib phrase. Its ticked me off for a long time. In
the early phases of my training as a practitioner, it was common to hear, in response to a
complaint or comment about some thing that was bothering someone, Well, you created
it! I would cringe when anyone said that to me, because I knew it was true on some level,
but didnt know how to deal with the creation, or resolve what I had supposedly created on
purpose. If I had created it, why couldnt I un-create it? Why was it so hard?
Being told that I had created it made me feel as if I was doubly bad, doubly suffering, guilty
for not only having the problem but for having created it as well. Its like blaming a girl for
being raped. She has to suffer the rape and the accusation of having wanted it in the first
place. Excuse me? Why on earth would she do that???
subconscious messages
What I didnt understand was that what was happening in my outside world had actu-
ally been created in another layer of my mind than the conscious mind. Its not as if we lie
around dreaming up things that will be harmful or hurtful for ourselves on purpose!
No! Remember? We are here to Be. To love and be loved. To enjoy our experience. To align
ourselves to our highest purpose. Why would we want to create pain? And dont tell me
that hooey about being here to learn from hard lessons. Thats so heavy and forever hard! I
believe that any god in his or her or its right mind will tell you that any situation in which
we find ourselves is simply an opportunity to either find or create more love and joy.
transition
Since I feel as if I have lately been in enormous transition, perhaps it stands to reason that
Im experiencing the physical results of some decision that was made in such a deep, inner
place. Its very interesting to watch how the pain comes in and then subsides with my
thoughts. As I write about my transition, the pain is increasing, and Im getting a pain in
my side, like stitches as if Ive been running, my legs are feeling sore and stiff, and my toes
are tingling, as if falling asleep.
shifting universes - easily!

Am I really shifting universes? Is this how it feels? Fascinating! I believe so, and in this
shifting of universes, I intend to feel great! So -
Even though I feel such pain and

my legs are sore and stiff and
my toes are tingling and
I have this pain in my side
Im seeing a very light, beautiful blue as I close my eyes to tap. Its a blue I dont see in this
world.
many emotions
Im feeling a lot of emotions - excited that the tapping has helped so much, yet fearful that
I cant resolve the whole problem with it - will EFT really do it? Will I be left with this
lingering, in-and-out, almost-incapacitating pain/sensation of being broken in two?
Even though I still hurt a lot

Im afraid this will never go away
I will have to live with this forever
I feel weak and flaccid in my lower back
I feel broken
I have no support
this will never end
and Im choosing to resolve this
family dynamics
Trying to figure out where all this pain came from, sometimes I get flashes of times in my
childhood. I hardly remember the actual interactions I had with my family, other than a lot
of not-necessarily-funny joking, poking, tickling and teasing - usually with me at the brunt.
Knowing how creative our memories can be, I have no idea if how I remember it was how
it was at all - my experience is that what I remember changes. I guess it doesnt matter -
what I have is at once a recollection and a reflection of how I feel now - so if pain is up for
healing, then who cares where it came from?
Remember earlier when I said if youre hurt at 7 years old, that part of you stays 7 years
old? Part of me was still that young girl.
blame
It is not appropriate to blame anyone for the pain of my past, no matter how much I
perceive they have hurt me. I spent a lot of time in therapy blaming everyone for my pain
and hurt - my folks, my brothers, teachers - but ultimately by first acknowledging the pain,
then expressing it, and then releasing it, I got a very different view of my childhood world
that had nothing to do with how I had formerly perceived it.
Perception is everything.
Taking personal responsibility for our feelings and
our own experiences is paramount.
clues in self-stories
Digging for clues here - listening to the self-talk - By the time I was a teenager, I pretty
much avoided my older brothers, as they seemed to be such a source of pain and not much
else. I got really tired of hearing that my ears were too big, that I looked fat - they told me
my rear end was like a tank. They called me Crisco, fat in the can. I hated it. I avoided
them like the plague when I could. I escaped into my room and drew and drew and drew.
At the dinner table it was excruciating. Somehow they worked out a signal that was
invisible to the rest of us, by which they could both simultaneously look at one of us and
suddenly shout loudly, WHAT! out of nowhere. Each time they did it, it felt as if I had
been plugged into a light switch for a split second. It was physically painful. It was also
funny when they did it, though, so pain was mixed in with humor.
I felt and became very cynical, In high school I consciously developed and carefully honed
a razor tongue in order to have some defense against the continual onslaught of what they
thought were hilariously funny jibes.
Is this where all this pain comes from? I dont know. I do recall feeling so hurt and so bro-
ken all the time -
broke, broker, broken

Later on, as an adult, feeling so utterly broke, alone and powerless, with no money for such
a very, very long time - was this part of that history? When I lived in a small town in New
Mexico, where I was ill for a long time, I remember saying that I felt broken. As if someone
had broken me in half. Not being able to do my artwork, or have the ability to hold a job
because I was so sick. I felt broken-hearted. Spirit-broken.
All of that is tappable. From being called names to the dinner table shout to feeling broke
and broken in New Mexico.
Listen to your own stories!

Take each issue and tap on them one by one. How very very different our lives would be if
we had had tapping as we grew up!
I dont know!
Yesterday I was thinking how I continually strive to put a reason on everything. What if
there isnt one? What if its a creation with no name? What if this pain just happened out of
a strange corner of my mind, and I just need to feel it and let it go? Somehow it seems not
possible that it could be that simple or easy!
thought becomes thing

In Creativity in Business, the authors mention physicist David Bohm talking about how
thought is not only a reflection of things. He contends that it is something in and of
itself. And as such, is a real manifesting agent in the world.
Theres also a discussion about how biologist Rupert Sheldrake, who takes physics into
the biological and psychological realms, considers seemingly random chance events as
dependable creative manifestations. He says we are like television sets that pick up invis-
ible information from non-local sources, such as transmissions from a television station.
Like these sets, our systems tune in to the vibrations that are always available around us: our
systems are available to receive energy.
boundaries
So if there are energies all around me that Im receiving, maybe this pain really isnt mine.
Is there a vibration, or a set of vibrations, that Im receiving that cause this pain - or any
such disruption - in my body/energy field? Like the day I almost ran into that accident field
on my way to Invercargill? And again, why am I on some level open to it? Do I need to do
some kind of boundary work? Have I attracted it in a like attracts like manner?
Wonder if this would work - I feel like I have about a 5 on this -
even though Im open to harmful energies

I deeply and completely love and accept myself
Feeling a little foolish here - like Im in the middle of some sci-fi dream. But it feels better
after I tap on that - about a 1. Ill use the 6-second floor-to-ceiling thing -
That got it -
fear of mockery
Of course, its like UFOs - the gov denies them even though we all know they exist. The
best known method to deny anything is to mock the believer or the one who claims to have
experienced something out of the ordinary, so its been ingrained in most of us not to reveal
strange stuff so we dont get mocked or rejected. Well, if Im going to be real, I guess the
laundry had best be aired, weird or not. Im completely willing to look at any answers that
might have meaning to my search.
the Next week

The pain is back. Its as if I have been cut off at the waist. Man, after all that tapping! Well,
its not that it didnt work, its that I havent gotten the aspects or the roots that are causing
the disruption. OK, well, what the heck do I do now?
Even though I feel cut off -
isolated
Oh yeah! I do, thats for sure! Not just in my body but from my former life in the States
and my friends and what members of my family still talk to me - yowee! IsoLATED! OK:
Even though I feel cut off

and I hurt and I feel powerless
I choose to be whole and connected.
This is interesting. I was unwilling to write the last phrase the way I really wanted it to be,
which was: I choose to be whole, connected, and powerful.
When I tapped, I said it like that, and I noticed that I did a lot of air-belching as I tapped.
The only time Ive ever seen that is when people are releasing implanted commands.
Interesting! Ill try this:
Even though Im afraid to be whole, connected and powerful,

I willingly choosing to be whole, connected, and powerful.
defining
So what, exactly, does powerful mean? That can have so many implications I wont even go
there. But for me, it means being willing to live and speak my truth despite the possibility
of being cut down by some person or other who might have the power to do so.
It means sticking to the convictions I hold and joyfully acting upon them. It means being
able to face opposition cheerfully and easily allow it to exist around me, even though it may
not be exactly pleasant.
Even though Im afraid of being cut down and silenced,

trapped in a small world of limitations -
Oh! Thats interesting! Chills down my side!

I choose to be powerful, safe AND free.
Less pain. Hm. OK,
even though I still have this remaining pain

I choose to be happy and pain-free
Only a little pain left, and a big, shuddering chill when I said Free the first time. Six-second
eye thing (see chapter 19), and Im done. Better! Whew! Feels like Im out in Lala Land.
talks
I had the opportunity to speak at a local garden club here in Gore. One of the members
had heard me speak at the National Council of Women, and asked me to speak. When she
called, I thought, why do they want me to speak? How can what I do relate to what theyre
doing? As we spoke about it, I thought, why not speak about the Garden of the Soul?
nervous
What I really wanted was to tell them about EFT. The night before I spoke, I had extreme
nervousness, and had to do a lot of tapping on speaking to them, what on earth would they
want me to speak for, how can I relate what I do to them, what do we have in common,
Im such a bold, brash loud American, and theyre all so quiet and reserved and why would
they want to have me speak?
excited and inspired

Tapping helped me feel very calm, and able to go to the meeting feeling enthusiastic. I
talked about my artwork, showing a few paintings and pictures of some of my sculpture. I
spoke about how there is an inner garden within me that I go to for rest, meditation and
inspiration. I made the garden up when I was a child, in order to have a safe place to go to
think.
Since my mother was a horticulturalist, I learned about plants, birds and insects by osmosis,
and my inner garden became lush with exotic and rare species and breeds.
eft
Then I told them how I had experienced extreme depression almost all my life, how this
miraculous technique had fallen into my lap, and what had happened to me since. I asked
if they wanted to learn about it - and they were willing! So I asked if there was anyone who
was having a hot flash, or a headache or some kind of pain.
One woman, Mary, had hip pain. She rated it at about an 8. I showed them the routine:
even though I have this hip pain

I choose to be pain free.
We all said the setup phrases together three times, with Mary saying Even though I have this
pain, and the rest of us saying Even though Mary has this pain. We all said the I accept and
the I choose phrases in the first person. Why not?
We did two rounds of negative phrase tapping on one side of the body and two rounds of
choice phrase tapping on the other.
pain gone! eeehaa!

We did that one round, then another to complete the remaining pain she still felt. At the
end, she said her pain had gone! I could see that everyones face had more color and the
energy in the room was terrific.
artwork improved with eft

I talked more about my artwork and how I get ideas and inspiration, and how my work had
changed since I had started tapping. My skill level has expanded considerably, and I am ten
times faster than I was a year ago.
Taking stock, Ive done about 20 carvings and over 60 paintings - both large and small, in
a little less than a year. Whew! But what is more important to me, the tone of my work has
changed. Now the paintings have even more of an archetypal resonance. The images seem
to delve more deeply into the Great Mythos. I like that.
tap again?
At the end of the meeting, I asked if anyone wanted to go over the process again, just to
make sure they had it down. Yes. So I asked if anyone played golf or tennis.
Not a big response. Anyone want to improve their cooking? YES!
So for fun, we tapped on this:

Even though I dont cook as well as Id like
I choose to cook like a famous chef, easily and effortlessly!
We laughed all the way through it, but I will be very curious to see what happens! Perhaps
Gore will become a place famous for its great cooks!
Sams psoriasis
Then there was Sam, a wonderful man in his 80s who had the most awful
psoriasis scabbed up on his lower arms, hands, and nails.
It was very painful for him to move, or if he knocked it or scraped the skin, but he was able
to function minimally in the daily world. He spent a lot of time lying in bed, though.
He had originally, seven years ago, been completely covered with the crusty scabbiness. Such
pain that must have been!
help
Since he was almost completely deaf, his wife, Minnie, sat in with us and helped me get
him to make specific phrases. I tried to use humor to get him to actually express strong
feelings - unusual for a sophisticated, restrained Kiwi chap. It was good to see him begin to
be able to laugh about something so serious and so draining.
At the end of the first and

second sessions, we managed to get the pain from an eight to a zero!
As we tapped, I just put my own mind to the side and imagined how I would feel if I had
the same thing. And we said:
even though Im in such pain and

I hate this stuff and
I resent having it and
I feel helpless to do a thing about it and
Im doing this weird tapping
even though I feel silly doing this tapping and

I hate being so sick and
I hate my life the way it is and
I wish I could be free of this but I dont think I ever will
and I choose to be pain free
Sams face told it all - there was a complete cessation of pain. I was so moved after they left
that I wept - it was so wonderful to see such relief of such terrible, unrelenting pain. It had
been very tiring having to shout the words right into his ear, but the relief was obvious and,
to me, very exciting.
no movement today
We did one more session, but it went slowly and I felt blocked. Sam came in with almost
completely healed hands. Nothing but very tender, almost purple, new skin. I was thrilled,
but Minnie told me she had seen it happen over and over again, and was unimpressed. I felt
her lack of enthusiasm as a damper. But I hadnt had much experience with the malady, so I
didnt know how often it came and went.
It must get really frustrating to see it semi-heal repeatedly; maybe even get a bit boring.
Perhaps there was a bit of anger on her part about feeling controlled by it all? I dont know.
We tapped and tapped on various things for about an hour, and ended up tapping on the
arthritic pain in Sams arm. We couldnt get that to move one inch.
I didnt know what was going on. Ideas about how to resolve it just didnt come. I tried
to keep an attitude of experimentation, rather than having an agenda. Minnie had been
looking upset right from the start - energy toxin?
There was an air of sadness and defeat as they left. I stood there and tapped on that for
myself before I went home, proxying them in, just in case.
dont give up!

They didnt come back. I think they thought they had run EFTs effectiveness out. What
was really going on, of course, was that there were new aspects popping up that needed
addressing. It must have seemed, to them, endless and impossible.
I hope they continue to tap at home. It was most likely a combo of things getting in
the way: not quite getting the right key words, perhaps; a toxic energy situation; rapidly
returning reversals - perhaps it might have been better to tap with Sam alone that time?
Many factors to consider.
In any case, one session with what looks like a defeat shouldnt make us doubt EFT. It
simply means there is something there that we dont know about, and we need to find it to
be able to do better next time. Keep plugging on!
sally
Sally is a woman who had a pain in her tailbone who freed herself from it in
about three rounds of EFT.
We started slowly, since Sally wasnt at all familiar with the process. I explained it to her
very briefly, and then we just jumped in. Sally was sitting on one buttock in a position
that clearly indicated how uncomfortable she was. She rated the pain in her back, near the
sacrum, at a 9. We started out with:
even though I have this pain in my bottom,

I cant sit down for any length of time without pain and
Im so uncomfortable I cant even sit straight
how did you do that?

She looked at me with such shock on her face I thought maybe the pain had gotten worse!
But no, it was about a 3. She was blown away. How did you do that? She was amazed.
I told her about the disrupted energy idea, and how if we have this disrupted energy in our
system, it mucks up the functioning of the body and mind. I asked her if she wanted to
take it down to a zero, and she just snorted - of course!
underlying emotions
I had this feeling that there was an event of some kind underneath the pain. One! How
about three! She retired from - or rather, was retired by - her company in a very unhappy
redundancy; her husband retired; and they moved to another location! Any one of those
would be enough to set anyone off!
I asked her to tell me some salient points about these three issues. She had really liked her
job, and was angry about being terminated. The company had moved, not inviting her to
come along, giving her the option of a redundancy package. She felt left out and angry.
Then when her husband retired and wanted to move house, she felt angry but never said
anything.
I asked her if she thought maybe the anger had lodged itself in the uncomfortable place she
was sitting on. Her face lit up with amazement. We tapped:
even though I was left out - forced out!

and I feel angry about it
being redundant, for heavens sake!
and I feel sad about it
and that I had no choice
her face lit up again - ah! No choice!

even though I had, and have rarely had, choice

I choose to be pain free
I asked her to re-rate the pain. She reached down to feel her bottom. I had already seen
her shift her body so that it was straight on the chair - I could see that there was no pain. I
wanted her to see it first, so I didnt say anything.
The expression on her face was priceless! Where did it go? she exclaimed. Its just not
there! My god! I cant believe it! It was a rock bottom zero.
I talked to her sister, Anna, later on the same week, who said it returned a bit, but that Sally
had tapped it away - and even took a two and a half hour car ride back home with no sign
of the pain returning!
enricos anger pain

Enrico is an older man who spends a lot of time with his beloved cats.
He adores the theatre, and sometimes treats Freda and me to various local productions,
saying he is pleased to have our company, since he enjoys going with someone rather than
going to them alone. He is very knowledgeable about theatres, in stage lingo and ideas, old
productions by sundry famous people, and tells us a lot about it all. Its a pleasure to see
him brighten up when he talks about it.
distressed
Enrico came by on a day that was very hot after a long period of wet, cold weather. Even I,
the Queen of Cold, had to put on a tee-shirt rather than a turtle-neck!
He wanted to drop some Christmas cards off for us both. Very sweet of him. Since Freda
was out, I asked him if hed like to come in a take a break from the heat. This house is
always cold, so it was nice to sit in the front sitting room and be a bit cooler.
It turned out that he suffers terribly from the heat, with a rash in quite an embarrassing
spot. So I asked him if hed like to try and alleviate it with a rather odd technique.
He did a funny cute little nod that looked like he was about 6 years old. We tapped:
Even though I react badly to this heat

and get this rash
I choose to choose be cool, calm and collected
Even though I still have this heat rash reaction

and get this rash and I hate it
I choose to let old resentment go
That was better, but I had a feeling there was something else going on. I suggested this:
Even though I still have this heat rash reaction

and get this rash and I hate it
and it makes me MAD!
I choose to express my anger responsibly
I had no idea where the words came from, but he said they were right. We tapped him
down to a comfortable zero. He rode off on his bicycle happy as a clam at high tide!
dees grand-daughter
Dee has a grand-daughter, Effie, who lives far away, who suffers from allergic attacks and
slight epileptic fits. Dee took the first EFT course we gave in New Zealand a few months
ago. She had been wanting to teach Effie, but had felt like she had to use surrogate tapping
until she could visit her and her family.
When she got back to Gore, Dee called me and told me that shed been up to visit Effie and
her mother. A few days before she was to come home, the opening she had been waiting for
to introduce her grand-daughter to EFT occurred. Effie had had an allergic attack, resulting
in a rash on her arms and itchiness all over.
Dee asked her if shed like to see if she could lessen the itching with an amazing easy pro-
cess. Upon agreement, she took Effie through a few rounds of EFT, coaching her with
words and tapping with her.
even though I have these itchy hands and it makes me feel crazy it itches so much
I know Im a great kid
The itching stopped, and the rash began to go away! Dee told me that they had done more
tapping that night successfully. She was very excited that the EFT had had such a profound
effect.
falling asleep
At todays EFT support group meeting, I noticed that Georges skin color was a little pale,
his breathing very shallow and short, and his eyes were near-closed, reddish around the
rims. He looked like he was going to pass out at any moment.
Its important to understand about the function of falling asleep at what seem to be inap-
propriate times like meetings, or seminars, in particular.
The subconscious mind is an amazing, true friend.

It wants the very best for us.
We fall asleep when:

we are bored
we need rest
we need to simply stop
and when:
we need to access something that is unavailable to the conscious mind
we do a process that stirs up our internal structure to the point that it seems
dangerous or frightening to our conscious mind
we are learning something that needs to be taken in at a very deep level
workshop pass-out
George looked like a glass-eyed inebriate! Having experienced this myself, I recognized this
as what I call workshop pass-out - the subconscious mind wants to hear the information,
but the conscious mind wants to protect us from it.
The conscious mind, programmed to keep out heretic, upsetting or dangerous messages,
wants to shut out this new information.
But the subconscious mind, wanting to hear this fascinating new material, tricks the body
into falling asleep so the information can seep through to the deeper levels. The mind is
always active. In sleep or rest, part of us is always aware of whats going on.
heart/intention
I believe that one of the fundamental reasons we are here, on this planet, in these bodies, is
to develop our hearts and our intentionality.
Imagine being heart-filled with no way to express our love! Imagine being able to intend
and do anything, and not have the heart to do it with kindness and compassion!
Both heart and intention are paramount, and must be used in tandem.
If, in the past, someone has been punished in one way or another for going outside their
family/school/religious doctrinal codes, they can very likely have a rigid belief that says, for
example, that energy work is dangerous.
It follows that their conscious mind will not want to hear anything about energy work. But
their Deep Self, wanting to be free to express the sweetness of its heart and to expand into
its fullest potential, wants this new thing. It uses its wonderful tool, the subconscious mind,
to make the body go into a state of pseudo - or even full - sleep.
sleeping through a workshop

I was at a three-day workshop a long time ago in Hawaii. It was one of the first self-
improvement workshops Id ever attended. In the front row there was a man who fell sound
asleep - snores and all - within half an hour of the start of each days program, and only
woke up an hour before the days end.
When he first fell asleep, there were those of us who were concerned for him, that he had
paid all this money and wasnt going to get anything out of the time, that he was uncom-
fortable, that he was loud - all kinds of worries were triggered by the situation.
We were all assisted in addressing our worries, and reassured that not only was he OK, but
would have a surprise for us at the end of the three days. We proceeded to complete the
workshop accompanied by the dulcet tones of his snoring.
awake
When he awoke at the end of the last day, I could see there was something different about
him, but I couldnt really say what, other than that he looked refreshed and younger. His
face had a beautiful glow about it.
The workshop facilitator held up his hand and said, I want you to see something. How
many of you think Kalani here has missed out on the workshop? Most of the group raised
their hands.
How many disagree? A few hands.
He then asked Kalani some pointed questions about what we learned during the weekend,
and Kalani gave a perfect answer to each question. Theres no way he could have done that
before the workshop - he didnt have the information, and we all knew it because we all
knew him well.
We were amazed. We had heard, of course, about sleep-learning, but we had never seen the
evidence of the phenomenon right up front!
self-protection
Kalani had had a strict religious upbringing. His fathers word was Law. Anything to do
with any other religion, structure, or form of inner work was forbidden, on pain of extreme
physical punishment. Of course his body shut down when exposed to this new, heretical
information!
But his subconscious soaked the information up like a thirsty sponge. It had not only
picked up on it, but had processed a great deal of it. Which was why he looked refreshed:
not just because hed had three days of sleep - more importantly, hed had a full three days
of very deep processing. Hed cleared a vast amount of energy and now had it available to
use in more efficient and beneficial ways.
back to george
So here was George today, falling asleep. Even though he seemed to be passing out, he still
really wanted to be clear and present. He kept trying to keep his eyes open and stop his
head from falling back.
tapping on falling asleep

I asked George if hed like to tap on falling asleep. He said yes, so we tapped on falling
asleep and made some new choices, as well.
Even though Im falling asleep

and I dont want to but I cant help it
and Im embarrassed to be the center of attention for this
angels
When we got to the acceptance phrase, I told everyone in the room to imagine a beautiful
angel standing in front of them, embracing them with a huge heap of love and acceptance.
To really feel that, really take it in as deep as they could.
That visualization seems to make it easier for people who are new to EFT to say the I
accept myself phrase. Then they can have that when they go home and work on the phrase
itself to clear any doubts about it. Having the memory of the angelic being helps soften and
clear the doubts. We went on to:
I choose to be awake, clear, and energized, and able to safely receive and integrate any of
this new information I want.
shift!
By the end of the third time we did the setup, George had begun to shift. I could see his
energy had cleared and he was feeling more calm, peaceful and awake.
We continued into the tapping sequence, saying passing out, sleepy, etc. on the right side
of our faces and bodies, then awake, clear, energized and safe on the left, both sequences
twice. Georges face was soft, and full of color, and he looked bright, alert and clear.
I called him a couple of hours after the meeting to find out what was going on for him, and
he told me he felt energized and happy! Very nice.
If you cant find the emotional component, tap on the physical -

even if you tap on I dont feel anything right now.
If you cant find the physical relief you want, go for the emotional -
ask yourself how you feel emotionally
Either way, we can get relief and feel great. If we have some big issues and it takes a while to
get there, so what? At least now we know we have this incredible tool.
We have the Key!

Making Movies
Chapter seventeen
too sensitive
When an issue is too hard to bear, or even think about, we can clear it pain-
lessly using the movie technique.
Since we dont like pain, and theres no use in re-traumatizing ourselves, why not use a
technique that is easier and that can be either pain-free - or close to it?
Besides chasing the pain, there are other ways to go about this business of addressing the
yuck-stuff: the movie technique, the behind-the-bullet-proof-glass technique, and for the
really tough ones, I like the way my friend, Ben does it: he uses a movie on-the-reel-in-the
box technique, only taking the scenes out frame by frame.
Any of them will give good results used on issues like troubling or unwanted memories
and thoughts from worry, war, rape, abuse, molestation; new events, nightmares, fear and
terror.
dont be brave!
Most therapies that I have been through expect me to go back to the original event and
re-feel it, revisit it with all the pain, fear and powerlessness of the first time overtaking me
and sweeping me over.
EFT is easier
Why on earth would I want to put myself there if I know I can achieve better results, move
more disruption out of the way, and feel great at the end of it, with an easier method?
The movie technique

Imagine the event you want to resolve in a movie. We can watch it up on a screen, at a safe
distance, or as Ben did, put it on a reel in a film box, only thinking about each frame as he
pleased. This way we can recall it little-bit by little-bit, without the original pain and intensity.
Name it
First, we name the movie. Ben called his Father Overpowered Me.
Length
Determine how long the movie is, encompassing the whole story. Ben said about three
minutes. It can be a quickie move - it doesnt have to be a three-hour feature film!
Start before the incident

We make sure Ben understands that its his responsibility to take care of his own mental,
physical, and emotional well-being. If and when the emotional intensity of his memory
starts to increase, we want him to stop telling the story immediately - right then and there.
This is not about bullying through as a brave man.
EfT is about clearing out the dross

with as little pain as possible!
When Ben starts to get intensity as hes telling the tale, he stops and taps down the intensity
of the part he is currently focused on. that way he goes through the story a bit at a time,
easily chewing off and clearing each little part until its gone.
privacy
Ben may not want to talk about the issue or the event to anyone. Its too private or too
threatening for any number of reasons. In that case, he can either hum the words -
even though I have this hmm hmm hmm - or he can tap silently.
starting
Ben goes to a time just before the event in the movie, and slowly tells what is happening,
working up to the incident.
Im about eleven years old, Ben says. Im sitting in the kitchen with my mother, reading
a magazine. Shes preparing dinner. Im really involved in the story Im reading, and we are
both having a nice, quiet time just being there.
As Ben continues, his voice starts to quiver. Its obvious there is something up.
stop here!
If he ignores or bullies on through this intensity in order to go on, he misses the treasure -
the opportunity to resolve this part of his old wound.
Not only will he miss this opportunity to permanently clear the energy, he re-traumatizes
himself by running the disrupted energy through his system all over again. So, Ben stops
and taps down the intensity now, at this point in the story. Now he can safely continue
from there without the pain or previously disrupted energy. He will have healed a part of
the energy already! He wont have to feel it ever again! He has addressed one of the elements
of a huge mountain of pain. Eventually he will clear each pain-rock out and collapse the
entire mountain.
Next?
As he considers the next frame of the movie, he is beginning to shake a bit. Whats going
on? He rates how he now feels at a ten, and we tap:
even though I know something is about to happen, and I feel apprehensive

Im shaking and I want to run away
I know Im OK
We tap a few times, and hes OK.
carrying on
Ben continues, My father walks into the room and reaches out his hand to take my arm.
Another ten. We tap:
even though I know my father will grab me so hard Ill cry out and
I hate it that he gets me to yell and
I hate the pain in my arm and
Im so scared of what is next
even though my dad thought he was being funny

and he hurts me
I know this will be torture and
he wont stop till I have peed in my pants
and hell laugh at me
I know Im OK
Ben takes a minute out and breathes deeply, and comments that it feels safer to do it this
way, since his movie is in the box on his lap and he can wait to take out another frame - or
not.
continuing
He goes on: My father grabs my arm and pulls me onto the floor with him, and starts to
tickle me. My father is thinking its so funny that hes tickling me, but it really hurts and I
cant get him to stop no matter how I yell or scream. He doesnt believe it hurts. Ben rated
that at a 9.
even though he grabs my arm and hurts me and

he thinks its funny to tickle me
it really hurts and I cant get him to stop no matter how I yell or scream
he doesnt believe it hurts
nothing I do or say will help or stop the pain
I hate it when he does this
more
His father is still laughing and thinking its a big joke. Ben says, I feel so utterly helpless
and over-powered. Nothing I say does any good. I can get him to stop. Bens breath is
short and hes gasping. His face is red and his hands are all clenched up. Ten.
even though I feel so utterly helpless and over-powered

nothing I say does any good
I can get him to stop
my breath is short and Im gasping
my face is red and my hands are clenched
I know Im really OK
Wow!, he says, no wonder I feel so scared of speaking to my boss! Fits, doesnt it? He
goes on again. We havent gotten to the top of the mountain yet, and weve already taken
some big boulders from its foundation.
again
He would pretend to let me go, Ben says, then push me back down and tickle harder
and laugh more. I hated him. I feel it right in the pit of my stomach. Then hed tickle so
hard Id pee in my pants.
even though hed pretend to let me go

and he laughed at my helplessness
I felt so powerless and stuck
I hated his guts
I feel his cruelty right in the pit of my stomach
in my guts
I hate my guts
I felt so weak and useless
so gutless
he made me wet my pants
I hate the s.o.b.
He gets that down to a zero and starts on the rest of the story.
this is easier
We are about through the story. Can you see how much easier it is to do it this way than to
feel or envision the whole incident all at once? It also helps us to get all the little details that
we would pass over in the chaotic jumble of recalling a massive incident. Theyd cause more
upset later on if we didnt get them now.
Ben continues and talks about how angry he is that his father humiliated him. He feels
enraged now. Very different from the man who walked in feeling powerless and humiliated.
Hes really mad that a big man like his father would terrorize a little kid - or anyone, for
that matter. Holding him down, tickling till it hurt and making him pee in his pants, then
laughing! What kind of joke is that? It was downright humiliating! Big ten.
Even though I am enraged

Im ticked off!
I felt so humiliated
he made me pee in my pants!
that jerk!
how dare he laugh at me
I was so embarrassed
I know Im OK
Ben tapped down his face like this:
EB - I hate that jerk

SE - Im so ticked at him
UE - so humiliated
UN - how could he do that to me
CH - he was such a bully
CB - ah - little sigh - Im so mad
UA - Im humiliated
shifting
Did you catch that little sigh? Heres an indication that a shift is happening. When we have
relaxed on an issue, our body releases, we take on more oxygen, the color in our faces comes
back - and we sigh. The release is either beginning or has completed. Notice carefully what
is happening with yourself.
a bit more
If its a little sigh, know that a shift is beginning to occur, but keep on going and do another
round. Things arent yet complete. And we might want to add some positive statements
now as we go down the face and body again. This begins to initiate and integrate a more
positive attitude, or a cognitive shift. Like this:
EB - Im so mad
SE - Im so ticked off at him
UE - it really wasnt that bad
CH - he didnt have a clue how strong he was
CB - Im still mad he didnt pay attention to me
UA - Im humiliated
Another round:
EB - he was only playing

SE - he was just trying to have fun with me
UE - it wasnt funny to me!
CH - he was such a bully
CB - it could have been worse
UA - oh it was no big deal
Ben rates it again and sighs a big, hearty sigh. it was no big deal, he says. its over, and
my dad was a big lunky unobservant lout, but he loved me anyway and I can forgive him.
No charge
The movie technique makes it so much easier to move through each little part. No need
to tackle the whole thing at once. Now we can think back on the whole thing and have no
emotional charge at all.
As you can see from the drawing, if we went for the big ten at the top, wed miss the nine
and tens under it. Wed have to go back in and get them later. Making a movie, though,
going inch by inch, not only is less painful, but we also get more of the Goods as we go. We
clear it to the point that there is literally no charge on any of it as we think about it later.
behind the glass

There are other ways to defuse
the scenario so the charge is
less to deal with:
We can stand behind a wall

10
9
made of thick, bullet-proof
glass.
We can watch the scene sliding

by slowly, with a remote con-
trol in our hand that we can
bush for stop action when we
need to.
10
We can put the movie up on
a screen, and step out of the 10
movie to watch the scenes.
In each case, we can still see

and hear what is going on in
the event, yet feel safe.
Specificity jangled, tangled energy

Tapping on the whole issue becomes untangled and
will begin to take the edge off can flow freely again
the intensity, but often as not
will only let us go so far and
no further. We need to get the little pebbles that make up the mountain of pain, instead of
trying to attack the whole mountain.
In The Day My Ex Came Home Drunk and Hit Me, a six-second movie, we tap on each
pebble: When he came in the door and I saw his face, and when he came at me and his
fist was in my face, and I can feel his fist on my chin, and when I landed on the floor,
etc. This way we collapse the whole horrid mountain of disrupted energy inch by inch. This
watching from a distance will force the little details out that are so important to snag and
eliminate.
Dean
Dean is a successful commercial graphic designer. He wants to drop graphic design because
he no longer wants to sit in front of a computer all day long. Hes learned EFT, and has
been using it on himself and his family. Dean wants to shift from graphic design to offering
EFT as a service to others. Hes very excited about the possibilities EFT offers in terms of
both business and service, but is nervous about offering it to his old clients who only knew
him as a designer.
It was hard to believe that someone who was so talented and successful had such fear about
being in business, but as it turns out, it made a lot of sense after what he had been through.
memory
Dean had a very upsetting experience as a 14 year old. He was an avid surfer, getting up
at dawn to surf before and after school, often surfing until the last possible minute in the
evening. His passion for drawing also meant that he slacked off doing required schoolwork,
and his family thought of him as a hopeless dolt.
Movie
Dean called his movie, You cant do it. He started telling the story at a point right before
he went in to the high school computer teacher to see about lessons in computer graphic
design. He was in the hallway waiting for the teacher to finish with another student. He
was very excited about taking the lessons.
A group of older students came along and started mocking him. Dean related part of it,
then had to stop with an intensity rate of nine. We tapped:
even though they think Im just a surfer

and that Im stupid and
I cant possibly learn anything complex
and they make fun of how I dress and my hair and my friends
no way!
Next he told about going in to the teacher, who essentially had about the same attitude
towards him as the students had; and then the trouble he got into when he reacted to the
scorn and disbelief in his abilities. He gave it a rating of a blow-out ten.
even though the teacher was scornful of me

and my surfing and
my long, sun-bleached messy hair and how I dressed and

my scruffy-no-good-dope-smoking-surfer-friends
even though I got suspended for yelling at the creeps and the teacher and
no-one tried to look at things from my side and
I was afraid Id never get the chance to learn
insulted
Dean continues to tell how he persevered. After his suspension was up, he spoke again with
the teacher. He was deeply angry about the teacher not seeing or believing in him and his
abilities. We tapped:
even though he didnt think I could do it

and said I wouldnt show up
and said I wouldnt understand
I was insulted and ticked off
I walked out in a rage
one more try

Dean was so determined to learn that he went in one more time. This time the teacher
was willing to give him a chance, but was cynical, and criticized every last thing he did. He
made life miserable for Dean, but Dean stuck it out. Another ten:
even though Mr. G--- was a miserable unspeakable hole and

made life terrible for me
and didnt have one good word for me and said I was stupid and slow and
that Id never succeed
and Im really furious about it
and I choose to have faith in myself and my abilities.
the biz part

Now Dean told about how, at the end of the years lessons, to help them learn the busi-
ness end of the trade, each person in the the class was required to do mock interviews with
potential clients who would want his services. The clients were none other than the
older boys who had mocked him in the beginning. Dean was a raging fifteen on this one.
even though they made fun of me

they said Id never make it
that I was really stupid and
who did I think I was and
that I was a fraud who was only faking it
and for a minute I believed them and doubted myself
and I feel so sad and mad that I did
This led to:
even though they said I couldnt design myself out of a paper bag and
Id end up being embarrassed instead of successful and that really got to me
and I choose to forgive myself and them for anything any of us did to contribute to that
The embarrassed part was the big deal for Dean. He had been so brow-beaten about his
appearance and his passion for surfing that he almost succumbed to the pressure.
even though they made fun of me and told me Id never fit in

I almost gave up
I felt defeated and unacceptable and rebellious all at once
and I was afraid of what my anger could do to them
and I was depressed by the thought of a bleak future
are all clients going to be this way?
and I choose to trust and appreciate myself and my talents.
cognitive shift
When Dean got to the zero this time, he started laughing. He said, those guys really did
me a favor! Ive never had any client act the way those guys did that day. Ive spent ten years
in fear that one would, buy no one has. Ive already been given the bad Time - I dont need
to have it again!
Dean is now enjoying building up an EFT practice, and being received well by his clientele.
Remove the rocks under the mountain and it will go away!

easily!
Enlightenment, Prosperity
and Creativity Chapter eighteen
WHAT IS enlightenment?
How do we get it, or be it?
Its interesting to me that so many people nowadays are interested in enlightenment.
What does enlightenment mean, exactly?
I get the impression that some people think that, once we reach this mythical state, we will
be Perfect, and we will have the Perfect Life. And stress, friction and negative influences
will disappear.
In this world?
In a yin/yang universe, where opposition is always present, how can we possibly think that
there will ever be a cessation of the pressure from the opposing forces? Or of stress?
In actual fact, its the nature of stress that holds things together. Im imagining the structure
of a wooden boat, and how the parts have to press against others in a press/pull relationship
in order for the boat to have the right shape and the right push against the water for it to be
strong, yet flexible, to float on and glide through the water.
opposites
I heard a saying once that life is the co-existence of opposites. Makes sense to me.
So rather than a blissful state of la-la, why not shoot for increased clarity, awareness, and
the attainment of an appropriate balance of opposing forces? Id think that might be a little
more invigorating than to sink into la-la land, letting the world go floating by.
Balance, independence, interdependence, radiant health: arent these the things we really
want? The ability to fully be who we are and do the things we do naturally and happily,
from our Deep Self? With a healthy bank account to boot?
ongoing process
Enlightenment must be an ongoing process. We dont just get to a certain point and some
Being from Golden Land comes and crowns us or anoints us and says, Well, thats it, you
are Enlightened, no more troubles for you. Good on ya!
No. I believe we grow and grow, and there is always that which came before and always that
next level to which we aspire.
those days....
There are, of course, those days when it seems like all Im doing is going towards enheavy-
ment - if you can have enlightenment, why not enheavy-ment? Or endarkenment? Those
are the days that seem like they will never end, and feel soooo painful. Its hard, sometimes,
to remember that those are only issues coming up to be healed and recycled into usable energy!
And that its best to thank them for coming up - rather than think theyre so bad, trying at
once to push them under the proverbial rug.
After all, they do present more opportunities to get even more clear! And they do present
opportunities to create more love and joy, if we can just see out from under them enough to
remember that.
resistance
Were so used to resisting the hard days and the difficult issues we live with or with
which we are confronted.
What if we just said yes? instead of resisting?
What if we just went about addressing the difficulties as if they were friends bringing us
messages - which is, in fact, what they are?
What if we cleared away the belief systems that we have lived with for so long that say that
anything that feels, looks, sounds, or seems at all bad should be resisted?
What if we employed the energy we use now to resist for clearing and rebuilding something
wed prefer instead? How about thinking about it this way:
The amount of energy we use to resist is proportionately the same as

the amount of energy we will have for our own choice
after we transform it!
What if we said, yes, thats mine, Ill deal with it - and go about doing just that?
how?
Tap on it. Whatever it is. Identify the upset, make another choice, and tap on what seems to
stand in your way. what I find is that what I thought was in the way usually isnt. I simply
needed 1) another viewpoint, 2) a new choice, and 3) the commitment to take action on the
new choice to support its happening for me.
Tap on everything - its a great experiment. Cant hurt! But notice I didnt say easy - although
I bet it will get easier with practice -
a too-good book!
Have you ever had a book that was so wonderful you didnt want to put it
down?
I started to read Sheri Teppers book, Beauty, a few nights ago. I had been planning to go
to a movie, but I just couldnt put the book down. I read until my eyes were too sandy to
see one more sentence, my head was falling into my lap - I looked up and it was 5 in the
morning! Egads. Sometimes I do really silly things.
I couldnt help it. It was such a feast of delightful twists and turns, perilous journeys and
miraculous surprises! But I was absolutely useless for anything all day after. Good thing the
day was one of Gores grey, dreary, sodden days of heavy rain and wind all day long. I didnt
feel so guilty then - I had been planning on doing more garden work, but wasnt about to in
all that cold downpour!
reading things wrong

I took advantage of the way the day was going by spending a lot of time tapping on
remnants of issues I wanted to resolve.
Ive noticed that I sometimes read things completely wrong: Ill complain about not being
able to do something because of this or that reason, when, in reality, all I need to do is take
a short nap. After that, things seem possible that would not have before. I was just tired! I
was so out of energy, so out of the ability to pay attention to what it was I thought I wanted
to do, that I literally could not have done it if I had tried.
list
So I decided to make a list of all the things I heard myself complain about and then tap
on them - after a nap!
I made my list. Then I took a short nap. As I lay there in a semi-dozing state, I saw and felt
myself resolving the items on the list, and deciding what I would prefer.
tap on it!
When I got up again after half an hour, I felt more energized. I looked at the first list, and
tapped on all the things on it.
always, never, all, none

I noticed a lot of nevers in the first list.
When I see a never, an always or an all, there is usually an illogical, irrational hidden belief
at the core of the statement that indicates an energy disruption.
Absolutes
A long time ago my old friend, Lorna clued me in to being careful of speaking in absolutes.
I had been blaming an ex-husband for something or other, saying the age-old he never....
She said to me, When I hear you say always my warning flag goes up. What are you not
seeing? If Im blaming someone for something, Im not seeing my own accountability, my
own participation in the event.
I never have enough money, you always hit me, I never get my way, all the people who go
are..., everyone... - these are blanket statements that indicate an imbalance in the bodys
energy system. That imbalance has caused me to perceive the world around me with skewed
eyes. I have probably made a few (!) incorrect decisions because of my misperception.
secrets
I participated in a twelve-day workshop a long time ago in Hawaii called Secrets. It was
called that because we were all there together to delve deeply into our secret pasts to try to
come to new resolution with our lives. I learned a lot from it.
One day one of the facilitators was suggesting to a woman that her big hair looked stiff
and unnatural. The facilitator looked over at me, and said, Why dont you cut your hair
and wear it in a similar style to Angelas?
perception is everything
I had been so attuned to picking up criticism that, even twenty years after I was gone from
the family environment where it all started (in my perception), as soon as I heard my name
used in reference to something that wasnt even about me, I said, crossly, Thanks a lot!
I thought I had been made fun of, the way I had in my family. But as her words rang in my
head, I stopped and thought for a second - Hey wait a minute! That was a compliment!
Whew! Something to look into here!
opportunities
Perception is important. If Im disappointed in my life, Ive missed opportunities to see
other views of it. I may be playing a role out of habit. Several years ago, it dawned on me
that every time I had a new boyfriend, within about a month, I became ill.
I looked and looked at it, and suddenly I realized that I had a pattern that said, if I was ill,
or acted out, my boyfriend (or, as in my family of origin, Daddy) would pay more attention
to me. Whew! That was a revelation!
I didnt have tapping at the time, but you can bet I watched myself from then on! I became
more aware of how I would not be able to say what I needed in our relationship - and then
Id get sick! I worked on becoming braver, able to say what I needed without getting ill. It
was scary. I didnt know how to say what I needed. I didnt even really know what I needed!
Its been a long path.
disappointed
This is Julias, statement, something I hear from her a lot: I have a perpetual sense of
disappointment. Under it all, despite the successes she has experienced, she feels constant,
low-level disappointment. OK, so she could start with,
Even though I have a perpetual sense of disappointment

and my life will probably never get any better
I am choose to be pleased with myself and my life
Dad
As I wrote the above, I had a picture of my father, standing in the living room of our old
house, his shoulders shrugged off at a slump, telling my mother how disappointed he was
in something I had done. He had a specific tone of voice and facial expression. I saw that I
had that on my own face as I looked at my life. Ha! So thats where that came from! I was
being my Disappointed Father! At myself! Phooey on that!
Even though I have taken on my fathers energy,

I choose to be me and only me! And happy to be me!
what do I really need?

I have repeatedly done a lot of self-recrimination. You can call it beating yourself up, if that
works for you. Almost always, its when Im very tired and just need a break. But no, I sit
there and nag on myself as to what I could have done, what I could have said, what I ought
to be doing, how things should have turned out, etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum.
Im still training myself to hear myself say I never... this or that, or I should have or I
ought to..., so then I can see Im doing it again, and only need to pay attention to what I
really, in reality, right at this very moment, need. Most times a little rest will make all the
difference!
the quiet mind

The subconscious, or what I like to call the Quiet Mind, is a very highly tuned, very
efficient tool. It guides us, all day, all the way through simple to complex actions, until and
through the night.
But how can it get through to us if we insist on not paying it any attention?
Its easy for me to keep carving a sculpture even past my strength - Ive done it many times.
But if I can remember to stop when I get a little tired, and take a little rest, I can carve a lot
longer, and I get ideas I normally overlook.
When I do take a little rest, Ill sit there and soft-focus on the piece Im working on, letting
ideas and images fall through my mind as they will. When one comes that I like, I grab it
and write it down, or sketch it. My subconscious mind is coming through with messages
I can hear and see because Im not bullying myself to stay at the job longer than my system
wants. I can listen to the Quiet Mind when I am at ease, instead of pushing pushing
pushing. I call this Dreaming.
Acknowledge the problem.

Accept that its part of our reality.
Why did we accept that into our field?
What was its benefit to us?
How can we create something that would serve the same purpose, and be beneficial?
How can we create something else that would be even better?
Remove the energetic disruption
Create that Something New and better.
Feeeeeel the Light!

This is enlightenment!
prosperity & creativity

tapPING for prosperity
When Michelle Hardwick, who does wonderful work using EFT, hypnotherapy, and NLP,
came down from Dunedin to teach our Gore group our first EFT class, she also gave us what
she calls The Temporal Prosperity Tap (see chapter 19, Illustrations of More Tapping
Spots).
It goes like this:
1. Bunch the tips of the thumb and all four fingers together.
2. Start to tap where the right ear (the right ear only!) leaves its connection to the face.
3. Tap next to, but not on, the ear.
4. Go around the top of the ear and only halfway down the back,
saying this or a version you like better:
I graciously accept good, joy and

prosperity into my life,
and all my needs are abundantly met,
now and always.
Use another statement if that one isnt exactly to your liking. I sometimes use health, wealth
and happiness instead of good, joy and prosperity. Just because. You can look Michelle up
at: www.hypnosistherapy.co.nz.
prosperity stories
Lynne, an artist, wanted to increase her prosperity, but didnt know how.
Lynne talked about a website a friend told her about called www.prosperityplace.com. Its
put together by a therapist/EFT practitioner in Santa Fe, New Mexico, named Joan Sotkin.
It has a lot of really wonderful information.
Lynn said, I read a lot of the articles in the newsletter. In most prosperity books Ive seen,
Ive been very annoyed by the fact that the writer assumes you have an income of some
size - or an income, period.
Since I have little to no income, I havent been able to employ the principles because you
always had to have seed money or money you could put away every week.
Being an artist with such a variable income, or one where I get heaps here and little bits
for the next few months - it has been impossible to plan or save. All Ive been able to do
when the money comes in is pay the back bills, and hope I get by for the next few months
until I sell the next thing.
it fits
Lynne liked Joans website information because it fit who she was and how she lived. She
says, Joan Sotkin assumes nothing about you, and speaks of the principles of prosperity,
whether you have an income or not!
Lynne told me how she had been stunned to read: Joan Sotkin says that our relationship
with money almost always reflects our relationship with our family of origin. Well! That
would make sense! My family is practically non-existent in my life. I started to look back
on, and ask myself lots of questions about, my experience of being a child. Where was I?
Where were they? How did it all feel? What experiences did I have that could fit this idea?
We discussed her relationship with her family, and ended up tapping on:
even though my family is practically non-existent in my life

I was just the youngest
my siblings were all off at school and I never got to know them
and when they were home I was ignored so I never won
I was lonely and mad and
I had to work hard with my mom because we had so little money
mom & sacrifice

Lynne told me about the window-dressing her mother did, how it angered her mother to do
it, and how angry she was that it got her such a puny amount of money. She really wanted
to be home doing portraits.
Lynne, as her number-one helper, had absorbed the role and the script her mother
continually modeled: sacrifice, duty, cant get what I want, the family comes first, Dad is the
one with money, its hard to ask for money, I cant spend money on myself without guilt.
If she wanted something big, or out of the ordinary, it was usually out of the question. We
tapped on:
even though I hated doing window-dressing with Mom

and Im so mad I had to do it and
I got no money at all helping her and
I worked really hard for nothing
she would tell me I was working for my supper
it was such a puny amount of money
big energy
She said. Every time Ive wanted to do something that was in the least out of the ordinary,
Ive had to use enormous energy to create it. Quite extreme energy. Yet, I want ease,
effortlessness, and enjoyment. Extreme energy and ease - do they fit together?
even though every time I want to do something big I have to use enormous energy to do it
and I doubt I can get ease, effortlessness, and enjoyment and
I dont think extreme energy and ease fit together
even though big work means big sacrifice.

sacrifice myself and my energy and soul
sacrificing isnt even enough
I work very hard for little or even nothing
and still have to sacrifice more
I do the things I love for nothing even though its hard work, too
I have this duty

Im selfish to ask for what I want
everything for the family, nothing for me
I choose to start to reinvent his now
even though it feels like I will never, ever have money

Big tears here, remembering how shed ask for money and her mother would say, No, we
dont have any, even as she stood there and spent what seemed to Lynne like tons of it on
food for the family.
through a childs eyes

She said, I didnt understand about budgeting for the family, I just wanted a little bit for
me. Seeing through the eyes of a child again, I understand another place in my psyche
where the belief that I would never have money might have originated or been exacerbated.
I think about money as if I was a five year old! I still want treats every time I go to the
market! And I want new clothes in the fall, when school starts! I didnt realize that that was
when I always bought new clothes, until I started tapping.
impossible
Lynne continued, Still, as Im tapping on having money for myself, it feels impossible.
Theres a huge block and Im inside of it, immobile. It feels like ice, solid, unmoving,
forever. Lynne wept again as we tapped. I tapped on her while she was really tuned into
her problem, so the energy could be released.
Even though its impossible

Im absolutely stuck in my block
I feel cold and stuck
I will never ever ever have money
like my mother
even though I will be stuck forever like my mother
even though I will never have a breakthrough
I choose to have a breakthrough
breakthrough/breakout
As Lynne thought of having a breakthrough, it seemed to her that, Even if I did have one,
it would be miniscule, and I still would have this load of whatever it is. Id never have a big
breakthrough.
People wont respond to my huge new sale on my website; people wont buy my work,
people wont come to any of my classes - nothing, zero, nada nothing. Whew!
Even though if I do have a breakthrough it will only be a molecule wide

it will never be a big one
its impossible
people dont want my work

dont want my artwork
dont want my classes
I choose to have an easy breakthrough today
even if it is only an atom wide at east its a breakthrough
and I choose to attract money like a magnet
I am a money magnet
We got this to a zero, and I heard a huge yawn from Lynne. We both laughed, and I asked
her how she felt now. Awesome, she said. Only a week later, she had a big show in a
nearby town and sold three paintings. Her website attracted a sale, too!
the art forum

The style of the forum is very informal: no curriculum, as such, as most of the students
are older women who have a lot going on with their families and in the community, and
people who have very stressful and demanding jobs - resulting in a lot of them not being
able to make it every single time. Hard to keep a theme or schedule going when theres no
attendance consistency.
So, I initiated a forum to which anyone can come and do whatever pleases them to do, as
well as ask me questions about their work, about art in general, about technique or color
or materials, etc.. I also do my very best to give them all real encouragement.
I notice that a lot of them tend to have heavy-duty I cant do (that technique, draw, what-
ever....), and Im not (a good enough artist) limiting beliefs. Since I know from my own
experience how deep-seated and crippling these beliefs can be, I use EFT with them to
release us all from these limitations, all of us tapping on together on the issues.
I cant draw!
Last week, Agatha came in feeling discouraged and totally uninspired, saying
that she couldnt draw well.
I asked her what drawing well meant to her. She told us, and since there were several who
felt the same, we all tapped on it.
even though I cant draw

and Im nervous and embarrassed and
I feel clumsy and inept
even though I am uninspired and

I dont have a single original idea
and I feel really silly
I believe in myself and
I choose to automatically have ideas I love
Then I gave her an exercise to loosen her up - I had her simply scribble, with no plan, no
idea what she was going to do. I could see how difficult it was for Agatha, so we tapped on:
even though I hate being out of control and

its scary to not know whats next and
Im not sure I can make it up or do this
I still believe in myself and my innate capabilities
breaking rules
After diligently making scribbles for a whole half hour, Agatha was loosened up enough
for the next exercise: making up a landscape. No pictures to copy, no drawing a real
landscape!
I showed her the conventional rules of landscape drawing - how you never put the horizon in
the exact middle of the page - and other conventional compositional rules.
Then I showed her how to break those rules. How to next draw a couple of first lines, and
make the landscape up from there. She now had a very rudimentary idea of how to create a
landscape that would work. We also tapped on:
even though I dont like and am nervous

I dont like rules
I dont like breaking rules, either and
I feel scared and anxious
I love and accept myself and
I know Im safe and I choose to have fun
success!
After an hour being quiet all by herself over in the corner, she held up a drawing with
which she was very happy, even saying she would use the design for a needlepoint in a show
next year!
pre-opening blues
I was quite nervous about showing my work at an art opening soon to come in a
nearby town.
I was part of a foursome of artists from Gore - we called the show Four Friends. The night
before it was to open, I felt flooded by self-doubt and worry about not making any sales.
I lay in bed tapping:
even though I cant imagine anyone here who will want my work
no-one will appreciate it
its too expensive for them
no-one here will understand it
Im cant possibly make money in this backwater
Ill get stuck here, not be able to go back to the states
I miss my friends back there
how come so few of them write or email
my family never ever writes
why do I bother to write them
they dont give a damn about me
It turned out to be about everything but money or art! I ended up feeling really great and
sleeping very well.
the opening
The opening was very successful. My past experience of putting on a show has been that if
I send, say, 250 invitations, I get 25 to 30 people at the opening. Thats in the States. We
mailed out about 220 or so, with about 5 that came back with address problems.
We had 60, 65 or so people at the opening! A fantastic percentage! We were so pleased!

People started coming in right at 7, the time specified - no fashionably-being-late trips -
and the crowd just kept on flowing in a fairly even stream till 10. We were all busy speaking
to one person or other all night.
nervous
At one point early on in the evening, I noticed that my mouth was very dry, and that my
hands were shaking. I felt amped up and nervous, but couldnt think of any outright reason
why. So I stepped outside, looked around to see if there were any people in the street - no
- and did some quick tapping.
Even though I feel nervous

and I hate small talk and am not very good at it
I choose to feel bright, calm, confident and friendly
It only took a couple of rounds to get the way I wanted to feel, so I started to go back
inside. As I did, a movement above me to my left caught my eye. I looked up at the build-
ing across the street. There on the second level was a balcony full of relaxing-after-work
people, all looking at me! I knew they had been watching me as I stood there tapping. I just
grinned and we waved at each other and I went inside.
great work!
The reception of the work was great - many people told us over and over that it was the
best show that they had seen at the gallery yet; and we all got a lot of personal compliments
about our individual work. And I sold three really nice paintings!
Another show
Paintings and sculpture to be shown at a nice restaurant over a two-day wine/
jazz/art festival weekend.
Ten artists showing local oil paintings, watercolors and pastels, and a few sculptures. I was
the featured artist, as well as organizer/curator of the artwork. It took me two intense, full
months of preparation, to get the art part of the show all tied up.
The opening day finally came. Friends Maggie and Margaret and I hung the show. We had
to use a special kind of hook that was made in such a way that after you placed it on the
wall, you have to wait an hour before you could hang any weight on it - so the hanging
of the show took about three hours longer than I had estimated. Mental tapping on even
though I hate these damn hooks....
By noon we were famished, and there was no food - they had forgotten to make allowance
for us having bodies and having to eat! So I sent Maggie into town to get food and more
hooks. Tapping on even though we feel so unsupported -
not a comp?
But we got it all hung, and at 4:00 we all went back home to get ready for the black tie
gala opening, which was amazing - Id never seen anyone in Gore all dressed up like that!
I presented my ticket for the dinner and found that it wasnt a comp. More tapping -
even though Im so broke and this $35 is half a weeks groceries for me....
I was very embarrassed, as I had thought it was complimentary for having done the
complete organization and setup of the art show. If there hadnt been a lot of people nearby
Id have turned around and left.
More tapping:
As I sat at dinner, I went through the various feelings I was experiencing. It was a lot of old
stuff.
I work and work and work with no return

I am embarrassed to speak my truth
I am enraged and hurt about how dishonored/disrespected I feel after having busted my
butt for this show
I do my best and get no support
I am invisible
I am unsupported
Why bother?
I dont know how to get out of this feeling
I still deeply and completely accept myself and
I choose to have a good time tonight anyway
These are all issues that really had nothing to do with this art show. The show only
triggered the awareness of them. The show itself was a success, with paintings selling and
rave reviews from those who saw it. We were all pleased.
TAKING MONEY GUILT

I was lying in bed the other morning thinking about how my father told me, when I was 7
or 8, when I complained to him about not his giving me an allowance, that if I mowed the
little lawn out front, and helped Ma weed and keep the gardens, he would give me a quar-
ter a week.
I did so, and he did not.
He used to keep a big glass jar shaped like a pig on his dresser top, full of the twenty-five
and fifty-cent pieces hed get as change. Sometimes Id sneak in and take a few. I felt justi-
fied, since I was never given any pocket money, but still felt ashamed and guilty.
Yesterday someone gave me a check for a painting she bought from me, and I was shocked
to feel guilty to take the money. I saw myself as the 8 year-old with the promise of the
money but no money ever coming, and then in the second scene, stealing money from the
glass pig.
When I thought about it later, I tapped on:

Even though I feel guilty for taking money

I choose to receive money without guilt.
For working with money issues

My experience is that most of us have some very limiting beliefs around money. It can be
disastrous to us to allow those emotions, beliefs and outdated values to restrict us.
Go to Joan Sotkins www.prosperityplace.com, where you can subscribe to her online classes.
On another site called www.projectprosperity.org, there is an internet prosperity game
that has been wonderful to play. To sign up for that, go to: www.spiritualpartnering.com/
projectprosperity/testimonials.htm.
a prosperity Game?
Our subconscious believes everything it hears and sees. By imagining, day-dreaming or
watching tapes and CDs, seeing ourselves playing - whether it is the golf or tennis game,
or skiing successfully down a slope, or receiving money, we can teach our minds to be good
at something weve never done!
We can install experience by intensely visualizing, dreaming, daydreaming, feeling or think-

ing about something. The subconscious takes the information and adds it to our experience
database as if it really happened. There have been Olympic sportsmen and women who,
during injury time-outs, have watched tapes of their sport, intensely imaging themselves in
the scene. After healing, they performed as good as - or better than - before.
In the Prosperity Game, we train our nervous system to get used to receiving and spending
money. You receive from them, by email, a virtual check of ever-increasing value every day
for 20 days. You get to feel the attitudes and beliefs you have towards receiving and spend-
ing all the way through, and tapping on each issue. Its a tremendous idea.
surprise!
On about the 14th day of the process we were receiving thousands of dollars. On that
day, I got to the end of my list of IOUs and got-tos and want-tos. I suddenly realized that I
didnt know how to spend the money I had just gotten. I had run out of ideas.
I had always thought Id know just what to spend money on! I was shocked! But there
was so much more money than I had ever dreamed of having that I found it very hard.
I realized I needed to really, substantially expand my ability to dream up a much larger
existence for myself in order to be able to attract the money I thought I wanted. I did a lot
of tapping!
affirmations
I started making up and repeating affirmations about money and income. But at the end
of the affirmations, Id hear my mind say, yeah right, or, no way. Thats called a tail-
ender, when that happens. Its the real, operating affirmation, while what we thought was
the affirmation is only a wish.
dealing with tail-enders

Carefully listen for them as you say your affirmation, and tap on them as they
come up. For instance:
I might say as my affirmation, I happily create an income of $x (you add your number
here) a month. But my mind objects, and says, Yeah, sure. I dont believe it! So now I
know what one of my tail-enders is, and I can tap on it. And I create a choice as well: even
though I dont believe I can do it, I choose to believe it.
even though I dont believe I can create an income of $x a month

I choose to believe I can, and create an income of $x a month.
I do the tapping till its down to zero. Then I say my affirmation again. This time, my mind
says, Where do you think that will come from? I ask myself, what would the opposite,
or my preferred state, be? Well, to happily have the income anyway. That will be my I
choose statement.
even though I cant imagine where the money would come from
I choose to happily have an income of $x a month
As I say happily have an income of $x a month, I notice that I get chills down the left
side of my body. Usually this means something is true. The measurement is down to a 2,
but I notice I have a sick feeling in my belly. But my choice is still to have the income.
even though I have this sick feeling in my belly

I still cant imagine where the money would come from
I choose to have an income of $x a month
The sick feeling is gone, and the I cant imagine is gone. But now my throat feels very
tight, and dry. I choose to have freedom from restriction.
even though my throat feels tight and dry

and I feel restricted
I choose to be free
Big Yawn. Ive got a one on it. I repeat the affirmation again, I happily create an income
of $x a month. This time my mind wonders - again - how I can create it. If I havent been
able to create that before, how could I think I could now? I think about how my subcon-
scious knows better than I do, and lets me know things even though I havent studied them
outright.
Even though I havent known how to create an income of $x a month before

and I think I still cant
I choose to know how in a surprising new way
done!
Big yawn again. I say the statement, I make $x a month. It feels OK. Nothing comes up.
OK, lets see what happens!
the next day -

I just got the check for the paintings I sold at the art show I had in Invercargill. On the
enclosed note from the gallery director, she says, Your paintings comprise one of the best
exhibitions seen in the south island for a long time, and it is a great privilege to have a
painter of your calibre exhibit with us.
Thanks! Thats very nice! I appreciate the kind words! And the money!
Chapter nineteen
Illustrations
of More
Tapping Points
relief points
3
cup your
hand
1
X
down & up the middle of the body:

1. Start at sternum (X)
2. Tap down to top of pubis
3. Tap up and over the mouth to under nose.
4. Tap down to X. Take deep breath.
Tap the whole circuit three times using cupped hand.
You can do this with or without words. It re-energizes the system.
easy comfort
procedure
Tap 5 or 6 times on each point as you repeat:
Even though I (feel - sick, fearful - insert your own phrase),
I know Im OK.
1. tap
on
the
bony
ridge
1
under
your eye
2. tap on the bump at the end
of one of your collarbones
2
3. tap gently in the middle of
3 your chest with cupped hand
4. Then hold the palm of your hand over your heart and breathe
deeply in and out a couple of times.
If you still feel distressed, go back to the beginning. Repeat again

until free from discomfort.
alternate
P.R. (setup) points
tap anti-clockwise
on chest (start at left, go
tap under nose over top to right, then
near outside of nostrils down to bottom & up)
rub occipital ridge rub just above armpits
P.R. - psychoological reversal

relief points
tap at outside base of

tap on Gamut point to wrist to relieve anxiety
relieve pain (this spot might be sore)
tip of thumb on side of eye near ear;

tip of pinky finger on inside of eye;
hold/press middle 3 fingers on forehead
relieves anxiety
relief points
1 2
1. Tap top of head lightly in circular movement

(I like to use this at the start of a tapping sequence)
2. Slap wrists together (This one is great to use at the end of a tapping sequence)
3. Slap inside of ankles (So is this one)
Stimulates 14 major points
the floor
to
ceiling
3
eye roll
1. Straighten your head so you are
looking forward without angling your
head at all.
Point your finger at the floor.

2 Focusing your eyes on the tip of the
finger, look down at the floor
2. Without moving your head, slowly

raise your hand and eyes, keeping
focused on your finger tip
1 3. Raise hand and eyes till youre

pointing and looking at the ceiling
Thats it!
The whole thing should last

only 6 seconds
the temporal tap

for accepting prosperity
bunch the fingers &

thumb like this,
then tap with
end here only the tips
start here
Start tapping where the right ear (use the right ear only!)
leaves its connection to the face (as shown above)
Tap right next to the ear, but not on the ear
Do three rounds, tapping up and around the ear,
ending halfway down the back down behind the ear
(as shown above), repeating this statement
(or a version you like better):
I graciously accept good, joy and prosperity into my life,

and all my needs are abundantly met, now and always.
Aloha! Adios!
Chapter twenty
adios, aloha - and much, much love to you!

By now you have a very good understanding of the basics of EFT.
And I hope that, no matter whether you are already a practiced therapist, or a
new-comer to EFT, your use of it benefits you tremendously.
Many heart-filled thanks to Freda for putting up with my spending hours and
hours in front of this computer, only coming out to eat, bathe and go teach
my classes - I wasnt muchfun, but look what came of it!
A millionmillion thanks to all the wonderful people who were so good to me in

my year and a half in New Zealand as I was working, teaching, and writing this
book - your brilliant love made it all possible.
Angela Treat Lyon

Angela Treat Lyon, EFT C-C,
is an Avatar Master; and revels in teaching EFT in the US and internationally.
She is an award-winning, internationally recognized artist and

author who lives and works in Hawaii. Her oil paintings,
drawings, bronze and stone sculptures are in private collections
and galleries from China, Japan and the South Pacific to the
US, Argentina and many places in Europe.
Ms Lyon also designs websites, does graphic design, and

writes, creates and illustrates books and ebooks. She has an
amazing ability to translate the essence of an idea or feeling
into powerful and effective words, images and forms, whether
books, logos, primitive line drawings, sculpture or paintings.
She teaches select students Old Master techniques in oil paint
and drawing.
Get her book, The REAL Money Secrets Book - a delightful,

light-hearted poke at the Chase for the Mighty Dollar,
asking what is important about prosperity? Her website,
EFTBooks.com, is the Premier International Source for books
(and other relevant products) on EFT, is a must for anyone
who is serious about self-growth.
Some small shots of a selection of Angela Treat Lyons works:
Here are some of her sites: AngelaTreatLyon.com, TheLandofAmmaze.com,

Lyon-Art.com, EFTBooks.com, TheRealMoneySecrets.com and CafeShops.com/AngelaTreatLyon

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Change

Use this fast, easy system to move

by Angela Treat Lyon, EFT C-C

Publisher of this E-Book: Behind the Seens Publishing

Lyon@Lyon-Art.com see more Lyon Artwork at: www.Lyon-Art.com

Change Your Mind

If we can, why cant you?

me/why this book?

I am an artist, writer, minister, life coach/performance/success coach and counselor - not a

EFT is intentionally designed to be as

Angela Treat Lyon

Remember this statement, because it is the basis of everything in this book:

who can use it?

Mental and emotional blockages can impede physical functioning.

Physical and emotional blockages can impede mental functioning.

Physical and mental blockages can impede emotional functioning.

What it all boils down to is that if there is

eft CAN HELP expand EFT Relieves what?

Remember: whatever the symptom,

Fear or upset can produce

By simply tapping on some

Now that the

Newbie uses EFT on depression, allergic

First I want to say how grateful I am that

forgetting the process

All possibilities of reality

Angela Treat Lyon

even though I am experiencing a reaction

Now to work on the starving artist syndrome!

If I change my perceptions, I change my whole world.

the pond/the mind

little bit little bit

Dad comes in and barks at me,

pebbles become mountains

where do they go?

Heres the point

APPLES: LOOK OR EAT?

Where is it in your body?

being able to notice

even though I have this pain/feeling/sensation

Still tapping the Karate Chop Point, you

I deeply and completely accept myself

Altogether it will look/sound like this:

even though I have this pain/feeling/sensation

3. check your new rating

Points. Do your best to get down to zero, but if you remain at

Rate it/Write it down.

Setup and I Accept Statement

I deeply and completely accept myself

Examples of accept phrase for kids:

Tap the Sequence

The implications are amazing, yes?

(under nose) 4 UN 3 UE (on

the tapping sequence

KARATE CHOP SPOT

Now go to Part II of the Tapping Sequence

the tapping sequence

the sore spots

1. put first finger in the dip at bottom of throat

the finger points

Karate Chop Spot

Starting at the side of the tip of the thumb,

Skip the third finger.

End up with the Karate Chop Spot.