Caring For The South Asian Soul Sample Pages

Caring for the
South Asian Soul

Endorsements
Spiritual formation and soul care are primary issues in the development of
emerging leaders around the world. Little has been written specifically for the
Asian community. Caring for the South Asian Soul will make a key contribution
to this very real need.
Dr. Martin Sanders
Professor of Pastoral Theology, Alliance Theological Seminary, Nyack (USA)
This book will fill a gap in Christian books on counseling. Transcultural issues
are crucial to understanding and helping people from different racial and
cultural backgrounds. Christians are generally blind to psychological factors
and tend to spiritualize their problems and difficulties. Counselors need to
understand the context of their clients to be most helpful to them. I believe
this book is a step forward in filling this gap.
Dr. John Mathai MBBS, FRANZCP, FRCPsych
Consultant Psychiatrist, Royal Children’s Hospital, Melbourne (Australia)
Rudyard Kipling wrote: “Oh, East is East and West is West, and never the
twain shall meet.” However, they have met! Large numbers of South Asians
have made the West their home and the process has taken a huge toll on their
psyche. Here is the balm for their troubled souls and families; the South Asian
authors write from first-hand experience! I highly recommend this volume!
Vinod Shah, MBBS, MS, Mch
Pediatric Surgeon, Christian Medical College, Vellore (India)
Increasingly, family members of the South Asian Diaspora are turning to those
outside the family to solve their perplexing personal and family problems,
which in the past they have been reluctant to do. The experienced authors
of this book provide pastors and counselors the needed insights to expand
their ministry influence, provide effective support and bring wholeness to
such individuals and families.
Charles Sell, PhD
Retired professor, Trinity Evangelical Divinity School (USA)
From the Foreword to the Final Words, Caring for the South Asian Soul
provides a scholarly, biblical, and balanced treatment of mental health-
related issues facing South Asian communities in the West. The authors’ rich
and varied insights are informative and instructive. The topic areas separate
fact from fiction and provide a long-overdue window into the successes and
challenges of an ever-growing and increasingly influential demographic
of the population. I highly recommend it as a resource for both graduate
students and practitioners who have committed themselves to the privilege
and responsibility of soul care.
Renata L. Nero, PhD
Chair, Behavioral Sciences Department and Director, Graduate Studies in
Psychology, Houston Baptist University (USA)
This book discloses obvious and hidden aspects of diasporic South Asians in
their living contexts. It makes practical suggestions to prevent and overcome
tormenting dilemmas in the lives of South Asian individuals, families and
communities in the West. Illuminating case studies and penetrating analysis by
South Asian practitioners of family health enable the readers draw appropriate
lessons to help themselves, their families, and others in their own situations.
I recommend this book wholeheartedly.
Daniel Jeyaraj, PhD
Professor of World Christianity and Director of Andrew F. Walls Centre for
the Study of African and Asian Christianity, Liverpool Hope University (UK)
The chapters in this book, contributed by experienced practitioners, provide

valuable resources for all of us who seek to serve South Asians in our areas
and for those studying or working in settings requiring effective cross-cultural
understanding and communication.
David E Housholder, ThM, PhD & Linda L Housholder, MSc, EdS
Directors of Ethnic Ministries, Interserve USA
The impact of immigrant life brings a complexity to therapy that few are
well prepared to handle without models and mentors. This is a long-awaited
resource for Christian emotional-health professionals and pastors that will
help make their counseling and pastoral care of the immigrant South Asian
soul more effective. Many readers will thank the writers for the profound
grace, empathy and guidance toward full healing that this volume provides.
Rev. James R. Foster
Vice-President, Global Ministries, The Christian & Missionary Alliance in
Canada
Caring for the
South Asian Soul
C o u nseling South Asians in the Western
World
EDITORS
DR. THOMAS I. KULANJIYIL
R E V . D R . T .V . T H O M A S
Publishing & Media
Bangalore, India
Caring for the
South Asian Soul
Counseling South Asians in the Western World
Copyright © 2010 Parivar International
Published 2010
for
Parivar International
by
Primalogue Publishing Media Private Limited
#32, II Cross, Hutchins Road, Bangalore, 560084, India
Website: www.primalogue.com
E‐mail: enquiry@primalogue.com
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced,

stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any
means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise,
without the prior permission of the publisher or a licence permitting
restricted copying.
ISBN‐13: 978-81-908904-3-4
Cover design
Chandan Crasta
Layout
Primalogue Publishing & Media
Printed and bound by

Brilliant Printers Private Limited
Interpretations and opinions expressed are those of the authors and not necessarily
those of the publisher
Dedication
To those early pioneers of the South Asian Diaspora into the Western world,
whose dreams and hard work paved the way for subsequent generations
to build growing and vibrant South Asian communities.
And also to all those, whose mouths speak hope and encouragement,
ears listen, and hands bring healing touch
to members of the South Asian community,
we dedicate this book.
Table of Contents
Foreword – Paul Meier, M.D xi
Acknowledgement xiii
Profile of Authors xv
INTRODUCTION - Thomas Kulanjiyil 1
SECTION A: SOCIO-CULTURAL REALITIES

1. Displacement: Effect of Immigration on Families 9
Ram Gidoomal
2. Landscape: Mental Health Needs of South Asian 21
Indians - Thomas Kulanjiyil
3. Disintegration: Mental Health Risk of Pakistani 29
Families - Esther Barkat
4. Hitting Out: Violent Behaviors in Asian Indian 43
American Homes - Leela Cherian
5. Open Taboo: Sexuality and the Asian Indian American 55
Community - Packiaraj Arumugham
SECTION B: PSYCHOLOGICAL ANALYSES

6. Identity Theft: Development of Self Concept 71
Sam George
7. iRelate: Relationship Formation of South Asians 83
in the West - Shoji Boldt
8. Contextual: Culturally Appropriate Care for 97
South Asian Immigrants - Thomas Kulanjiyil
9. Final Exit: Death & Grieving Among South Asians 113
Jacob Philip
10. Integrate: The Interface of Psychology and Theology 127
Abraham Thomas
SECTION C: THEOLOGICAL REFLECTIONS

11. Holistic Care: From Survival to Wholeness 143
T.V. Thomas
12. Church Dispensing Care: Pastoral Care in 157
Asian Indian American Churches - David Ravinder
13. Shaming the Shame: Healing Inner Wounds 171
Through Cleansing Relationships - Sam George
14. Second Chances: Hope and Restoration in 189
Christian Life - Ken Barbic & Deepak Reju
15. Being Whole: Wellness of a Community through 201
Lay Counseling - Mabel Koshy
FINAL WORD - T.V. Thomas 213
Select Bibliography 221

Foreword
I am very excited that my friends and associates, Dr. Thomas Kulanjiyil
and Rev. Dr. T. V. Thomas, have edited such a practical and helpful
book-Caring for the South Asian Soul. We are living in a new era in the
field of counseling. Our society has become much more complex, and
a majority of Americans need professional counseling some time in
their lives. I am the founder and medical director of a national chain of
Christian counseling clinics, the Meier Clinics (www.meierclinics.org).
We see several thousand clients each week for a variety of counseling
needs. I have also authored 85 published books to help people with
a wide range of problems they face in life. I see clients myself daily
in the Dallas area, and have been doing so for 35 years. With a rise in
mental health problems and relational crises in modern society, people
everywhere are seeking appropriate help.
I was absolutely delighted to be the main speaker at the first ever
Consultation of South Asian Christian Counselors and Care Givers
in North America in 2008. There I came across a committed group of
Christian counselors from South Asian background caring for hurting
people in their community. I was excited to see pastors and professionals
from various disciplines including those involved in counseling,
psychology, psychiatry, social work, spiritual direction, pastoral care,
marriage and family therapy, coaching and crisis intervention.
We need to bring biblically grounded, psychologically sound, and
culturally appropriate care to people. Insights from various streams of
knowledge need to be brought together without compromising. Many
emotional and relationship problems have a cultural layer to them.
Unless we understand and are able to work through that layer, effective
and lasting wholeness cannot be achieved.
We need more ethnic and culture-specific resources like Caring for
the South Asian Soul. I hope other communities will follow this lead to
research and scholarship of culturally appropriate counseling and care.
I encourage younger generations to pursue the study of care giving
using a contextual and multidisciplinary approach. I also believe South
xii Caring for the South Asian Soul
Asians have much to contribute to the field of care giving in the West
and around the world, regardless of anyone’s cultural background and
customs.
Caring for the South Asian Soul is a must read for mental health
professionals from all cultural backgrounds. This is sure to enhance
your cross-cultural counseling competency toward South Asians. I hope
other ethnic communities will also develop such resources to better
serve needs of hurting people around us.
I wholeheartedly recommend this publication to you.
Paul Meier, M.D.
Meier Clinics (1-888-7-CLINIC), Dallas, Texas (USA)
April 2010
Acknowledgements
Attempting to compile a multi-author book can be a daunting task.
Fourteen authors from various disciplines and walks of life, despite
important demands invested their expertise, time and energy for a noble
cause of serving the South Asian community in the West. They enabled
us succeed and accomplish the goal that was set. They have provided
insightful and relevant information on the subject areas assigned to them.
Dr. Paul Meier, who offered to write a great Foreword to this book
merits particular mention. He has a special heart for South Asians.
All eminent Christian leaders who have provided endorsements are
sincerely acknowledged as well. Thank you for your partnership with us.
We appreciate the support and encouragement received from Sam
George, Executive Director of Parivar International from the inception
of this venture. A word of appreciation is also due to the Board of
Parivar International and members of iCare Counseling Network, for
their immense commitment to the South Asian community, and moral
support towards this venture.
Our sincere thanks to Primalogue for publishing this material. The
understanding and support of our respective families enormously helped
to complete this work and we thank them for that.
And finally, we praise God for all His help and guidance from the
time this idea came into being. His presence was real, His grace was
sufficient and His power was plentiful. It is His glory that this book
ultimately seeks.
We trust and hope that this book will be a blessing to all its readers,
especially counselors, pastors, youth leaders, community leaders,
educators, people helpers and Christian lay leaders.
Sincerely,
Dr. Thomas Kulanjiyil
Rev. Dr. T.V. Thomas
April 30, 2010
Profile of Authors
Thomas Kulanjiyil, PsyD., PhD

Thomas currently serves on the faculty of College of
DuPage, Glen Ellyn (IL) and also teaches at Wheaton
College, Wheaton (IL) as a guest psychology professor.
He has previously served on the Behavioral Science
faculty of Houston Baptist University. Dr. Kulanjiyil
earned his BTh, BD, and MTh degrees from Serampore
University (India); MA in Philosophy from Osmania
University, Hyderabad (India); MA and PsyD in Clinical Psychology from
Wheaton College, Wheaton, IL; and a PhD in Christian Thought from South
Florida Bible College & Theological Seminary, Deerfield (FL).
Dr. Kulanjiyil’s research and writing interests include integration of
faith and psychology, culture and psychology and ethnic minorities and
culture sensitive counseling. He is one of the founding members of Parivar
International. He is the recipient of the 1999 Sandra Koscielniak Educational
Award from the Association of Illinois Townships for his outstanding
services to youth and families in Illinois. He was also featured in Chicago
Tribune (1999) for his professional outreach to ethnic minorities in Greater
Chicagoland. He lives in Woodridge, west of Chicago with his wife Omana,
and their two adult children.
Rev. Dr. T.V. Thomas

Orginally from Malaysia, Dr. T.V. Thomas studied in
Malaysia, India, Canada and the United States. He is
Founder Director of the Center for Evangelism & World
Mission (founded in 1984) in Regina, Canada where he
makes his home with his wife, Mary and their three
grown children: Victor, Molly and Melanie.
For over three decades T.V. has enjoyed a trans-
denominational and trans-continental ministry of speaking, teaching and
xvi Caring for the South Asian Soul
networking. From 1984 to 1994 Dr. Thomas served as Professor of Evangelism

for the Murray W. Downy Chair of Evangelism at Canadian Theological
Seminary. He currently serves on numerous national and international
boards. He is also a Co-Chair of the International Network of South Asian
Diaspora Leaders.
Ram Gidoomal CBE, LLD (Hon), CCMI,

FRSA, FCGI
An experienced businessman and entrepreneur, Ram has
worked for over 20 years at board and senior management
levels in the private, public and voluntary sectors. He
possesses excellent communications skills, both written
and verbal, and exhibits a strong background in external
relations, entrepreneurship, innovation and management
of change including race and diversity.
Dr. Gidoomal is a Freeman of the City of London and Court Liveryman of
the Worshipful Company of Information Technologists, a Companion of the
Chartered Management Institute, and Visiting Professor (Entrepreneurship
& Inner City Regeneration), Middlesex University. In 1998, he was honored
CBE for his services to Race Relations, awarded Honorary Doctor of Laws by
Bristol University (2002), appointed Dehejia Fellow, Sidwell Friends School,
Washington DC (2008) and to the Fellowship of the City & Guilds Institute, 2008.
Esther Barkat, Ed.D.

Dr. Esther Barkat was born and raised in Pakistan. After
completing her college education in Pakistan, she married
and came to America in 1973. Dr. Barkat then went on to
earn her doctorate in Educational Psychology from West
Virginia University, Morgantown (WV) and her School
Psychology degree from Marshall University, Huntington
(WV). She has worked as a School Psychologist, Child
and Youth Therapist, Director of a child development center, Coordinator of a
school drop-out prevention program, and Coordinator of a parenting program
for teenage parents. At present, she is teaching at Waynesburg University (PA).
Dr. Barkat has presented several papers at various national and international
conferences. The focus of her research has been South Asian Immigrants. As
a licensed and nationally certified School Psychologist, Dr. Barkat also works
part-time at her business “Barkat Psycho-Educational Service.” She is married
to Rev. Aslam Barkat, a United Methodist pastor and they have three children:
Mona, Sheraz, and Sonia.
Caring for the South Asian Soul xvii
Leela Cherian, PhD.

Dr. Leela Cherian works as a Clinical Psychologist at an
Outpatient Mental Health Clinic in Michigan. Her areas
of focus include young children, adolescents, adults and
families. Prior to working at the mental health clinic,
Leela worked with babies ages 0-3, with developmental
issues; and was also involved in research projects at the
University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, (MI) and School of
Early Childhood, Queensland University of Technology, Brisbane, Australia.
Leela obtained her PhD from the Queensland University of Technology’s
School of Early Childhood in Brisbane, Australia with a focus on child development
and parenting. Her areas of interest include children and families, cultural issues,
women’s issues, adolescents and geriatrics. Leela also completed her Masters’
thesis on the influence of family, self-concept, and peers on the motivation of
high school students at the Center for Advanced Studies in Education, Faculty
of Education and Psychology, at the University of Baroda, India.
Packiaraj Arumugham, PhD.

Pakiaraj serves as an Assistant Professor of Social Work
at Marywood University (PA). Prior to that, he taught
at Dordt College, Sioux Center (IA) and Bishop Heber
College in Trichy (India). He also worked for five years as
Project Manager for World Vision, India. He was actively
involved in student and family ministries with Union of
Evangelical Students of India-Tamil Nadu. He has made
scholarly presentations in India and The United States. His research interests
include Christian Social Work, Marriage and Family Services. He now lives
in Scranton (PA) with his wife Shanti and daughter Sherin.
Sam George, BE, MS, MA, (PhD)

Sam serves as the Executive Director of Parivar
International, a family ministry to the Asian Indian
community in North America. He worked in the
software industry for nine years before stepping
into Christian ministry. He studied at Fuller and
Princeton theological seminaries where he majored
in Christian Leadership and Practical Theology. He
writes a weekly national column, ‘Family Matters’ for India Tribune,
one of the largest circulated newspapers among the Indian American
community. Sam is the author of Understanding the Coconut Generation:
Ministry to the Americanized Asian Indians.
xviii Caring for the South Asian Soul
Sam is married to Mary George, PhD and they are parents of two
boys. They live in the northern suburb of Chicago. Sam and Mary recently
co-authored a book titled Before the Wedding Bells: Preparing for a Lasting and
Fulfilling Marriage.
Shoji Mary Boldt, MA, LCPC.

Shoji is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who
has been in practice for over 10 years. She obtained her
Bachelors in Psychobiology from New York University
and a Masters in Counseling Psychology from Trinity
International University. She specializes in adolescent
and family counseling and enjoys supporting women
and couples attain healing and wholeness. Her diverse
life experiences have contributed to her interest in helping those struggling
with multicultural issues. Her life is a witness to how God uses adversity to
build character.
Her husband Ryan is a Community Pastor at Willow Creek Community
Church and has been on staff there for over 10 years. Ryan and Shoji teach
and serve at Willow to support the Community, Marriage, Family and Care
ministries as well as Global Outreach. They balance the joys and challenges
in caring for her two young children. Shoji has been involved with Parivar
International in educating and supporting the South Asian community in the
US with personal, marriage, family and cultural issues.
Jacob Philip Nanthicattu, D.Th.

Jacob serves as the Director of Northeast region of
Parivar International and the Community Counseling
Center based out of New York. He was earlier involved
in student ministry with Union of Evangelical Students
of India and also taught Christian counseling in a college
in India.
He did his BD from Union Biblical Seminary, Pune
(India) and MTh from United Theological Seminary, Bangalore (India).
Jacob earned his Doctor of Theology (D.Th.) in Pastoral Counseling from
SATHRI, Serampore University (India) and completed a one-year residency
in Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) from Hartford Hospital, Hartford (CT).
He is married to Darly and they are parents of two children.They live in New
Hyde Park (NY).
Caring for the South Asian Soul xix
Abraham Thomas, BE, MBA, MA.

Abraham ‘Joe’ Thomas serves on the leadership team of
Parivar International, a ministry based in North America,
committed to building strong Asian Indian families. He
was born and raised in Pune (India) and now resides
in Chicago, with his wife and three children. He has a
Bachelors in Engineering and a Masters in Management
and has worked in the field of information technology
for the last fifteen years. He is currently pursuing his Masters in Counseling
Ministries at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School in Chicago. He has a passion
for serving those who are underprivileged and hurting. He has also served
in various leadership positions at the local church and in student ministry.
Rev. David Ravinder, PhD.

Rev. David Ravinder currently serves as the Pastor of
Whitehouse United Methodist Church, NJ. He is also the
honorary Senior Pastor of United Evangelical Christian
Fellowship, an Asian Indian Christian Fellowship in
New Jersey. Prior to his ordained ministry, he served as
the Director of Lifeline Counseling Center, an outpatient
Mental Health Clinic in Bridgewater, NJ. David has
taught advanced courses in Pastoral Marriage and Family Counseling in the
USA, India and Singapore. He received the Th.M and Ph.D degrees from
Princeton Theological Seminary (USA) in the area of Pastoral Theology,
specializing in Pastoral Care and Counseling. He is married, has three grown
children and three grand-children.
Deepak Reju, PhD.

Rev. Deepak Reju serves as an Associate Pastor at
Capitol Hill Baptist Church (CHBC) in Washington,
DC. His pastoral responsibilities include oversight of
the biblical counseling and family ministries at CHBC.
Half-way through medical school in the 1990’s, the Lord
re-directed Deepak’s steps into seminary training and
pastoral ministry. He went on to earn the Master of
Divinity (1999) and PhD (2007) degrees from The Southern Baptist Theological
Seminary, Louisville (KY). Deepak and his wife, Sarah, have three children:
Zachariah, Lydia, and Eden.
xx Caring for the South Asian Soul
Ken Barbic, BS, MA

Ken Barbic is a member at Capitol Hill Baptist Church
(CHBC) in Washington, DC. At CHBC, he has served as
the deacon of children’s ministry, a core seminar teacher,
and small group leader. He works in DC as the Director
of Federal Government Affairs for the Western Growers
Association, and has held various other positions in the
Congress and in the Executive branch. He received his
B.S. in Business Management (2001) and a Master of Arts in Biblical Studies
with an emphasis in Biblical Counseling (2004), both from Maranatha Baptist
Bible College. He and his wife Kelli live on Capitol Hill.
Mabel Koshy MD, FACP, DMin.

Mabel was born and raised in Malaysia. She graduated
from Trivandrum Medical College, India and was
Professor of Internal medicine/hematology at University
of Illinois, Chicago (IL). She is married to Dr. Oommen
A Koshy, a physician. They have two children and two
grandchildren. She has lived in the Western suburb of
Chicago for over forty years. After retiring from her
medical career, she earned a MDiv. and DMin. with a specialization in
Counseling from Northern Baptist Theology Seminary (IL). She serves as
a Stephen Minister at First Presbyterian Church of Wheaton, Illinois and
Director of Counseling with Parivar International.
Introduction
Thomas Kulanjiyil
The proposal to produce a volume on South Asian Counseling emerged

from some of the presentations at the first consultation of iCare
Counseling Network, held in Chicago from September 5-7, 2008. iCare
Counseling Network is an association of counselors of South Asian
origin in North America, formed in 2007. Taking note of the growing
mental health needs, the consultation felt the need for helpful counseling
resources, currently scarce, specific to the South Asian population.
It was agreed that the book project will be spearheaded by Parivar
International, a Chicago based non-profit, Christ-centered ministry that
reaches out to a larger South Asian community in North America since
2004, providing counseling services and training programs.
The South Asian community is one of the most striking demographic
groups in the Western world, especially in the U.S. Their achievements,
over a short span of four to five decades are remarkable. They are
often labeled as a model minority. Their presence in the health care
industry, business, education, banking, public services, and technology
are well documented. They have the reputation of having the highest
education and income levels in the United States. They are innovators,
entrepreneurs, and are high achievers. But all that I mention here is not
without a toll on them at the personal, family, and community level.
The greatest effect is said to be on families. Someone described the
South Asian reality this way, “From the outside everything appears
normal, but from the inside the heart is bleeding.” This is not an
exaggeration. Those of us who know the community closely, and
have worked with individuals and families, know that the South
Asian community is really hurting. There is brokenness and pain
everywhere. Behind all material prosperity and personal achievements,
there are many disappointments. Families are breaking up, divorce
is increasing at an alarming rate, children are becoming rebellious,
parenting is becoming more difficult, moral values are declining and
relationships are deteriorating. Addictive behaviors and domestic
2 Caring for the South Asian Soul
abuse are widespread, and a sense of helplessness clouds the future.

The community needs help--real help! There is a sense of urgency here.
The community cannot cover up its problems any longer. Here is the
wakeup call! Something needs to be done.
Caring for the South Asian Soul: Counseling South Asians in the
Western World is a multi-author book, fourteen altogether. Authors
who collaborated on this book project are men and women of good
reputation and Christian character in the communities they serve. They
are pastors, educators, doctors, professional counselors, chaplains,
youth workers, and lay Christian leaders who are actively engaged
in the South Asian community. They have written from the vantage
point of insiders, not just as scholars or researchers. These authors
represent three Western countries - United States, Canada, and the
United Kingdom with a large South Asian presence.
The book is divided into three major sections. Section-A presents the
socio-cultural realities of South Asians. Section-B provides psychological
analyses of the community, and Section-C offers theological reflections
on Christian care giving.
In Section A, chapter 1, Ram Gidoomal analyses the effects of
immigration on individuals and families. He draws from his personal
experiences as well. Themes he covers include, the challenges of
migration and family support system, parental pressures on children
to succeed, the crisis of cultural identity, challenges posed to traditional
social institutions such as arranged marriages, and problems of elderly
migrants at retirement. He connects these issues quite well with the
South Asian experience in North America. Gidoomal concludes his
discussion with these fitting remarks, “…there is a growing need for
counselors to minister to the South Asian migrant’s soul. There are
people suffering from isolation and loneliness, alienation and rejection
through racism, and the pressure to succeed and support their families.
Our job as Christians and counselors is to find them, befriend them, and
begin to meet their needs.”
In the next chapter of Section A, Kulanjiyil explores the mental
health needs of South Asian Indians. The reasons for under utilization
of counseling services by this population are identified. The most salient
Asian Indian mental health problems that entitle interventions are
clearly marked. The problem of elder care is presented as a chief mental
health concern for the community. The author calls for collaborative
efforts among social organizations, religious organizations, and mental
health agencies to improve counseling outreach to the community.
Introduction 3
In chapter 3 of Section A, Esther Barkat presents a pilot study on

the disintegration of Pakistani Christian families and its psychological
effects on children and parents. The study is based on interviews the
author conducted in the community. After presenting a background
history of Pakistani Christian immigrants, along with a sketch of
challenges they faced in Pakistan, Barkat describes the struggles the
community encounters upon immigrating to America. The foremost
problem for a younger generation Pakistani, according to Barkat, is the
question of identity. She observes, “…many young Pakistani Christians
are entering into the mainstream of American society with a mixed sense
of identity. This mixed sense of identity creates many mental health
issues among the younger generation.” Several concrete steps of action
have been suggested to help the Pakistani Christian community attend
to these significant problems.
In Section A, chapter 4, Leela Cherian investigates the problem
of domestic violence in Asian Indian homes. Through impressive
case studies, the subject gets a comprehensive coverage with focus on
theories, causes, and cultural elements of domestic violence. Cherian
finds a connection between domestic violence and cultural perceptions
about men and women, for instance, the belief that, “men are aggressive
by nature and therefore it is their right to be aggressive to their spouses.”
She concludes the chapter with several practical recommendations.
In the final chapter of Section A, Packiaraj Arumugham introduces
the reader to a topic that is often treated as “open taboo” in the Asian
Indian community. It is on sexuality. He treats the subject both biblically
and psychologically, centering his attention on pornography, pre-marital
and extra-marital relationships, cohabitation, and homosexuality.
Arumugham cautions that the conservative attitude of the Asian Indian
to sex may be slowly eroding, and parents have a greater responsibility
to inculcate in their children values that uphold the sanctity of sex. He
says, “Children do not want their parents to simply prescribe behaviors
but… model good behaviors.”
In Section B, chapter 1, Sam George examines closely the development
of self-concept among South Asians, mainly among South Asian Indians.
George sets the context for his discussion in this way: “Ethnic minorities,
particularly emerging generations, in a multicultural world grow up
with a sense of persistent confusion about their sense of self…they feel
as if pieces of their face have fallen off. Not all puzzle pieces are in its
place.” George offers a psychological and sociological outlook on the
subject. He wraps up the discussion by presenting a view of personality
based on relationality, grounded in the redemptive work of Christ.
In the next chapter, Shoji Mary Boldt looks at the South Asian
relationship formation. Taking a developmental framework, she
provides a useful account on relationship development in childhood and
adolescence. The discussion is offered in the backdrop of South Asian
culture. Subject matters covered in this chapter consist of dating, cross-
cultural marriage, singleness, gender stereotypes, and other such facets
relevant to relationship formation among South Asians. The discussion
ends with practical tips for managing relationships.
In Section B, chapter 3, Thomas Kulanjiyil assesses culturally
appropriate South Asian counseling methods and strategies. He calls
attention to the limitations of western models of counseling when
working with ethnic minorities. He examines the role of the South Asian
worldview for mental health, and also the part acculturation plays in
help-seeking behaviors. Based on his own work as a clinician, Kulanjiyil
offers a number of constructive guidelines for South Asian counseling,
which, multicultural counselors will appreciate.
In Section B, chapter 4, Jacob Philip handles the subject of death and
grieving among South Asians. Drawing from his own experience as a
hospital chaplain, he offers to the reader relevant information. Starting
with a biblical view of death and grieving, he proceeds to present
theories and stages of grief. The section on bereavement across one’s
life span offers a broader perspective on death and grief. The section on
death and funeral rituals among South Asians is quite interesting and
educative. The chapter ends with a discussion on caring for the dead
and the bereaved with culturally appropriate practices. His practical
suggestions for assisting families with funeral and burial arrangements
are quite helpful.
In the final chapter of Section B, Abraham Thomas takes up the task
of integrating the fields of Psychology and Theology, an emerging area
of study in Western Christian circles. He begins with basic frameworks
of theology, based on the Nicene-Constantinopolitan Creed and
Psychology and lays out various models of integration. As the East
and West converge in South Asians living in the West, it is important
to develop culturally appropriate care that is founded on a contextual
theology.
Section C centers on theological reflections. In chapter 1, T.V. Thomas
deals with the topic “Holistic Care: From Survival to Wholeness.” This
remarkable chapter begins with a discussion on current challenges of
the South Asian Diaspora in the West, and outlines some of the dire
consequences. He then examines the biblical basis for holistic care.
The clear and persuasive case he develops throughout the chapter for
Introduction 5
Christian care giving is centered on the conviction, “We care because

each person is valuable to God, we bear His image and God has a
purpose for each person’s life.”
In Section C, chapter 2, David Ravinder, with his background as
pastor for over thirty years addresses specific needs and challenges
of Pastoral Care in Asian Indian-American Churches. He sets his
discussion on the postulate that “…Christological, Stereological, and
Ecclesiological convictions define our understanding of Pastoral Care
and our sense of obligation for each other.” David strongly insists that
pastors should pay attention to personal self care to avoid “burn-out.”
He also encourages pastors to be part of a clergy ‘support group’ or an
‘accountability group.’
In the next chapter, Sam George offers an insightful perspective
on “Shame,” a theme very relevant to South Asian cultures. George
analyzes the subject quite profoundly, leading to a Christian theology of
shame. He states, “Shame creates a basic sense of flaw and unlovability
about self,” nevertheless, the redemptive work of Christ provides a
way out. “Shame is removed by God’s entering into shamefulness of
sin in the life and death of Jesus. On account of Christ taking on our
shame, we are accorded honor because of God’s unconditional love
and acceptance.”
Chapter 4 of Section C, Ken Barbic & Deepak Reju develop a
comprehensive theological view on human sin and depravity, and God’s
offer of hope and reconciliation. They write, “In the Fall, Adam and Eve
began to see some of the dramatic consequences of sin—brokenness
entered their relationship with God, Adam shifted blame to Eve, and
they both hid because of their shame. While on this side of heaven our
relationship with God and others will know something of this loss.
This is why we—sinful Christians who live in a fallen existence—so
desperately need to find hope and reconciliation.” For the authors,
hope and forgiveness in the midst of our brokenness is definitively tied
to the cross of Christ. They offer valuable counsel to all Christian care
givers, “…we can often forget Christian doctrine and be caught up with
meeting our friend’s immediate needs. Do not underestimate the nature
of justification through faith and the implications this has on instilling
hope in sinful people. As we understand the depth of our alienation
from God and other people, we begin to see that justification through
Christ is the basis of all hope and reconciliation.”
In the final chapter of the book, Mabel Koshy traces the history of early
South Asian Indian Christian community in the Greater Chicagoland
area, and the ensuing denominational growth. She then identifies a
variety of current counseling needs within those congregations. A lay

Christian leader herself, Koshy recommends a model of Lay Counseling
for these congregations and communities, which she initiated under
PARIVAR International.
As one will notice, a wide range of topics relevant to South Asian
Counseling are covered in the book. Understandably, we have not
exhausted all possible themes and concerns connected to the topic,
such as the area of psychological evaluation and diagnosis, or specific
strategies and interventions for particular problems. These are for
others to pick up, or for future undertakings.
While each author is responsible for the views and positions
expressed in their respective chapters, everyone shares a common
adherence to basic Christian convictions, worldviews and values.
It is hoped that this work will provide a basic framework for South
Asian counseling, and that you will find it a valuable resource in your
counseling vocation. It’s my pleasure to present to you, Caring for the
South Asian Soul: Counseling South Asians in the Western World.
Section A
Socio-Cultural Realities
1
Displacement: Effect of Immigration on
Families
Ram Gidoomal
My Story
Whether it’s a chosen path or a forced decision, immigration to a foreign
land can have a profound effect on individuals and families.
I’m speaking from experience here, as someone whose family
experienced two sets of migration. For my family, the journey has
been tough at times, but by the grace of God our story has had a happy
ending thus far. But for other South Asians, displacement can lead to
broken hearts, broken families, isolation and very deep culture shock.
The Gidoomal family, as I mentioned, were twice migrants, moving
countries twice in one generation. Partition in India in 1947 led to our
first move. 1
It’s worth noting that the largest migration of South Asians in
history occurred in the 1947 partitioning of the sub-continent into two
political nations: India and Pakistan on the basis of religious differences.
In just nine months, at least 18 million people - Hindus, Sikhs and
Muslims - were forced to flee their homes and became refugees; and
at least a million were killed in communal violence. Our family was
one of the many that was displaced during this time and we settled
in Kenya. The second move came from our expulsion from Kenya in
1967, when many Asian families were forced to leave East Africa by
the then government, losing businesses and livelihoods they had built
up over decades.
We had been more fortunate than many people in the years leading
1 I wrote the book Sari ‘n’ Chips (1993) about Asian culture meeting Western culture.
It’s based on my own experience but looks at issues more widely.
up to this expulsion from Africa. Being established and successful

business owners, with ventures in India and Africa, my family were
able to create and develop businesses again soon after landing by ship
in Mombasa, Kenya. So, we diligently built up our businesses over a
twenty-year period, led by my grandfather and his younger brother,
and life was prosperous for us.
So, when we were forced to migrate for the second time, and leave
behind our home in Kenya, it was a real blow to our family, particularly
my father’s generation. Our assets and funds were frozen making it
difficult to withdraw money and take it out of the country. As a result,
we lost much of our wealth, just like that. Pakistan hadn’t wanted us
because we were Hindus in a Muslim country. We had been rejected
by India because we had chosen British citizenship rather than Indian
nationality when independence beckoned. Then, we were no longer
welcome in Kenya because we were not African. Great Britain was our
best option.
I can still clearly recall my arrival in the UK. Everything seemed
so strange, I might as well have landed on Mars and such was the
unfamiliarity all around. I remember the unexpected nature of the move,
the freezing cold weather, the sights and smells and the alien food – all
so different from what I was used to.
Our life in Britain was based in London and centered on family and
work. We built up a business of corner shops and convenience stores
that were open for long hours. There were fifteen of us sleeping in four
bedrooms above the shop, starting from scratch again and facing an
unfamiliar culture. On the one hand, we were in shock from leaving
everything behind, and having to start again. As a family we faced
humiliation and disgrace, which was particularly difficult for my older
relatives who had worked so hard to build up businesses in Kenya.
But on the other hand, while the older generation was fed up, I was
part of the younger generation which felt it was time to rise up and take
advantage of the new frontiers before us. So the younger group took
charge, as the spirit of survival kicked in, with a new determination to
rebuild our family name and business, and restore what we had before.
Within six months, we had bought a second shop.
We experienced the joys of close community, South Asian migrants
supporting one another, with siblings, uncles and aunts all working
together and putting old differences behind. Our community was
willing to support us in various ways, and we had connections as
far as Manchester who were willing to loan us money. But while we
had the positive community spirit, there was also a pulling up of the
Displacement: Effect of Immigration on Families 11
drawbridge. As a family, we banded together and replicated the culture

and community that we had back home. We didn’t really need the
outside world when we had each other. The extended family met every
Sunday - fifty or sixty of us! We set up our own social networks, and
there wasn’t really any incentive to integrate into mainstream British
society.
This brings me to a key issue that South Asian migrants face:
whether to integrate into their society or whether to stay separate. In
integrating into the culture, something gets lost along the way, but if
you do not, you can face a cultural dislocation that can lead to feelings
of loneliness and isolation.
Waves of Migration
We know from the earliest texts in existence that people and people
groups have migrated between countries. Take Abraham and Moses for
example! But there is a very broad spectrum of reasons for migration. 2
Some people are forced to move for political reasons, while some
move for economic reasons. A growing trend for the future will be
people who move for environmental reasons, fleeing from areas of the
globe that are struck by floods, famines, tsunami and other disasters.
Marriage can also provide the reason for migration, especially for
women, as they join working husbands or move to help extended family
networks function.
Developed countries can also be a huge attraction for migrants
searching for the new pot of gold, families looking for a wage and a
way of life that would be impossible to find in their home country. 3 One
example of this is a Sikh family which moved to Phoenix, Arizona in the
United States from the Punjab, around four or five decades back. The
family did economically very well for themselves as farmers, so much
so that they were able to cause the immigration of their whole village,
paying for their airfares, and thereby building a local community in
the United States.
In some cases, whole people groups have negotiated economic deals
with governments. This is the experience of the Shia Ismaili Muslims,
whose leader, the Aga Khan, negotiated their migration to Canada
with the Canadian government. In this example, the migration was
organized, sophisticated and strategic, identifying places that would be
2 For more information on the South Asian Diaspora, see Catalyst for Change: the
South Asian Diaspora (2005) and The New People Next Door (2005)
3 See The UK Maharajahs (1997) and The British and How to Deal with Them: Doing
Business with Britain’s Ethnic Minorities (2001)
mutually beneficial for migration. Destination for migration included

Toronto, Calgary and Vancouver, and the deal involved relocating
skilled or professional class migrants who were able to benefit the local
economy.
The Ismaili community was capable of supporting itself through
extended family networks in addition to the social and religious
functions of its mosques. Both of these acted as cohesive hubs, linking
migrants together and ensuring that families functioned well and were
looked after. In the UK, the Ismaili community has also been successful
in settling whole migrant communities, but for other South Asian
migrants, the picture is often very different. There have been times when
migrants in Europe and the UK have been placed into refugee camps
for long periods of time, been demonized and alienated, vilified by the
press and public alike.
Even economic migrants, who have either been invited by
governments to move trans-nationally or chose the country personally
in order to pursue career opportunities, face being rejected by people in
their society. This is particularly the case where indigenous communities
find it hard to accept their skin color or cultural differences. The resulting
damage to the psyche of the migrant, and whole migrant communities,
can be devastating.
The American Dream

For developed nations like the United States and Canada, many of the
migrants are students at colleges and universities, in line for jobs at
successful companies. Technology start-ups in particular have attracted
the brightest and the best migrants from South Asia and other economic
regions. As a result, the level of education for migrants from South Asia
to North America tends to be higher than South Asians who move to
Europe, including the UK.
The United States arguably has a more selective migration system
than some other nations, and is therefore able to choose workers who
expect and can generate a particular quality of life. Economic migrants
are often more qualified and wealthier in North America than in
Commonwealth countries. In such countries, by contrast, immigrants
were traditionally allowed to enter the United Kingdom by right,
which meant that nobody measured your wealth and degrees in order
to let you into the country! But as a result, the UK is now facing some
issues with migrant communities who have found it hard to integrate,
or to financially benefit their society. So, it is worth being aware of the
difference between migrants to the UK and to North America, and to
approach their psychological needs and issues differently. The American

Dream of personal wealth, financial independence, and other Western
creeds can mount unprecedented pressure on economic migrants.
Parents can put an incredible amount of pressure on their children,
as a result of their expectations to succeed in their adopted society. This
can lead to greater levels of emotional stress, frustration and depression.
Good schooling and education are often the preoccupations of South
Asian families, for a number of reasons.
Firstly, many Asians are terrified of the lack of discipline which
exists, in their eyes, in the local, mainly white community. As a result,
many Asians who can afford it, will likely send their children to private
schools far more than the population as a whole.
Secondly, the understanding is that their young people will have a
better chance of securing a good job if they have had a good education,
particularly one which channels them towards the professions.
Thirdly, South Asians will tend to feel that they and their children
are under pressure to perform better, both in education and in the
workplace, than their ‘white’ counterparts. The assumption is that native
workers are more likely to get the better jobs, which then generates
pressure on the next generation to strive and achieve top marks and
gain professional positions in their society.
A fourth point, which is really a footnote, but worth being aware
of, is that South Asian Muslims may be keen to have their own schools.
Whilst this is a religious stance, it is also related to matters of practice.
So, for example, Muslims don’t tend to like Muslim girls doing physical
education classes with the boys.
A few years after I wrote the book Sari ‘n’ Chips, some parents began
to call me from the US, concerned about the changes in their children,
and the fact that their children were actually running away from home
in some cases. These were professional-class people, unable to cope
with what was happening to their own children. It seemed to me, back
in 1995, that there was a desperate need for counseling resources to
help families deal with the pressures that arise from the societies in
which they live. This is a problem which is perhaps more acute in the
US than in any other nation, as I shall discuss below. Even today, very
little material has been produced specifically for South Asian families.
A pioneering resource is Asian Parenting Matters, with DVD and
workbook, produced by Care for the Family in the UK.4
4 Asian Parenting Matters (2008) resource from Care for the Family, Cardiff, UK
Family Pressures
Families are affected in different ways as a result of migration, depending
on the cause. Economic migration from South Asia to the United States
may well be viewed as a very positive thing, because it can improve the
economic fortunes of a family. But meanwhile, first-generation migrants
can put intense pressure on their children to succeed, which can be
damaging for young people who may be trying to straddle two cultures.
So, many South Asian families who have moved to the US are facing
far more problems with their children now. Perhaps the children are not
as driven, or academic as their parents, but the parents are expecting
their children to do just as well, or most likely, even better than they
did. The mental health of the children suffers, and I believe this is more
acute in the US than in the UK where there is also a problem.
The problem is, and has been for several years, that second-
generation migrants in the United States are looking at a culture which
offers them much greater individuality, human rights and freedom
than their own culture affords them. South Asian parents, in trying to
protect their children, were actually smothering them, expecting them
to live happily in both worlds. The culture clash results in a culture
crash. Studies in the UK have found that the attempted suicide rate is
much higher amongst South Asian migrants than is the case with the
mainstream community, and this is likely to be the same in the US.
The fruit of loneliness, isolation and unhappiness point to problems at
the root which are caused by culture clash, the pressure of unrealistically
high expectations, and a lack of support for the individual. So, whole
families get affected by migration as they attempt to integrate with the
culture and society around them. And as migration continues on an
unprecedented scale, with fresh waves of families moving countries,
the integration problems are getting worse rather than better.
In the US as well as the UK and Europe, people at the sharp end seem
to be young Asian boys, in particular, who are exhibiting behavioral
issues. In broad terms we are looking at two sets of issues which arise
from voluntary migration on the one hand, and forced migration on
the other. Voluntary, mainly economic migrants, have to deal with
the physical distance from their own communities and their extended
family, and a loss of support structures that they used to have.
There are language and cultural barriers: changes in food and diet,
climate, health and housing. The way Asian families function is different
from Western families, and so migrants face conflicting approaches to
children and education, marriage, banking and finance. There is often
a need to send money to family back in the home country which is

different from the society around them.
Very likely the children of migrants may have been forced to
move countries, leaving their friends and relations behind along
with everything else that is familiar. There may be resentment and
unhappiness at the change in circumstances.
When it comes to forced migration, there is a whole raft of additional
pressures that refugees and asylum seekers have to come to terms
with, in addition to the above. Forced migrants may have to cope with
detention camps, and the shame, trauma or hardship associated with
them. They may be coming to terms with their families being split up
or children taken into the care of social services. Then, once they have
won the right to remain, they may face the challenge of paperwork
authentication – perhaps in a language foreign to them, overcoming
the stigma of detention, job hunting, and economic survival.
In my work advising the British government about asylum seekers,
I have frequently come across asylum seekers who have been treated
in an atrocious way. Some of them are entitled to citizenship but they
have been treated badly whilst being held. This can create all sorts of
mental health and societal issues, and asylum seekers often find it more
difficult to get jobs and adjust to a society which they formerly longed
to embrace.
Caring for Family

South Asian families rely on their extended families and social networks
for day-to-day living. Sadly, this key foundation can be lost in the
migration process, leaving individuals and families completely isolated
in a foreign land. Many migrants will tell you that they face the choice
of whether to integrate into society, or attempt to recreate the bonds
that existed before. My family was fortunate in being able to replicate
support structures from back home, whilst making inroads into the new
culture, but this is not the case for everyone.
Some of the issues that arise for migrants include the challenges of
developing a surrogate family, making a living and forging a new life in a
new culture, and the loneliness that comes from leaving their home land.
Elderly people are often the ones who are left in situations where
they are not cared for adequately, because the extended family and social
network would culturally have provided for their needs.
With pressures that come from everybody having to work to survive
in an adopted country, the nuclear family is frequently unable to cope

with the needs of elderly members. As a result, older people are either
put into a nursing home or sent back to South Asia. There are occasions
where some Asians have come together to form their own care homes,
and these are able to deal with things like the Asian diet and culture,
and even provide sufficient car parking spaces for extended families to
visit! However, the elderly are even more acutely lonely than younger
migrants, and it’s a real issue that counselors must address. Migrant
families must all choose the degree to which they assimilate their culture
or integrate with it.
Assimilation, a melting pot approach, can mean giving up one’s
home culture to adopt the ways of the dominant culture, and this can
be very hard to do in practice. Bicultural adjustment, as opposed to full
assimilation, is often the route that many immigrants take, if there are
sufficient numbers in the ethnic community. This can often perpetuate
a feeling of isolation from the host culture, except that it happens on a
larger scale. So, when, for example, the host country asserts that English
is the language that must be spoken, migrant families must decide what
their response is, and whether they are prepared to capitulate to the
culture around them.
Another effect that migration has on families is the geographical
extension of social networks. In Asian gatherings in the States and
Canada, people no longer think twice about covering huge distances
to meet with family and friends. For example, my sister is in New York
and people drive for five hours to participate in gatherings at her house!
The internet is also helping to facilitate these disparate networks,
often on a global scale. There are cases of arranged marriages where
social networking websites have been helpful in arranging for people
to meet their future partners, where the parents are expecting their
children to marry within their community. The web has also helped
isolated individuals and families cope with the issue of separation, and
in so doing, retain a sense of their home culture, whilst embracing the
culture of their new home.
Coping Mechanism
How do you cope when your support system is no longer in place? South
Asian migrants often feel disconnected physically and emotionally from
their home country. They face a crisis of identity as they try and work
out who they are in relation to their society. For new arrivals, everything
is different: whether, food, education, language or customs.
Identity can be even more of an issue for the second and third
generations, as they live in two or more worlds at the same time.
However, there is hope. Faith communities are in a position to play a
huge role in providing support networks for migrants. For churches in
particular, reaching out to lonely migrants can offer a great opportunity
to share and demonstrate the good news of the Gospel5.
Churches can offer emotional help to individuals and families,
if they are sufficiently aware of the issues that South Asian migrant
families are grappling with. Bridge-building activities are important,
where people can share common concerns, do things together and
develop relationships and friendship.6
Music is a great bridge-builder. When we produced Songs of the
Kingdom and Asia Worships, fusion music to cross the generations,
there was an overwhelming response from people of all ages and faith
backgrounds.7
Charitable organizations can ensure that appropriate resources
are available, and offer time, staff and literature that can help Asians
overcome their particular difficulties. Churches can run services that offer
friendship and support.8 For example, in Leicester, England, one church
offers a helpline called Dosti which means, friendship, targeted at Asian
youngsters. The idea is to reach out, and meet the needs that arise.
Another example of a resource centre is The Parivar International
Centre in Chicago, a US-based charitable organization, committed to
building strong families in the Asian Indian community worldwide. Our
aim as supporters of migrant families is to create the knowhow and the
capacity to support them.
This means training counselors and making sure they are available
and targeting areas where there are clusters of migrants, in towns and
cities, and even in the workplace. Our approach can include advertising
and marketing to these individuals and families to ensure that they find
us, and do not remain hidden. But above all there is an immense need
for more trained counselors.
5 Two of our publications, Looking For Directions (2006), and Discovery Groups (2006),
start from current questions like identity to explain the relevance of the Gospel for young
South Asians
6 Bridge Builders (2005) are discussion resource material on contemporary issues.
7 Now available as Celebrating Together (2000) and Aaradhana Ho (2003), CDs with
music and all the words in English and Asian languages.
8 We have produced several resources with guidelines for churches to understand
people from different faith backgrounds and share their faith with sensitivity and love:
Chapatis for Tea (1994), Lions, Princesses, Gurus (1996), Good News for Asians in Britain (1998),
Belonging, Believing, Behaving (2000)
Marriage and Retirement

Migration brings with it an array of issues linked to the family. For
example, there are issues surrounding marriage, particularly for the
children of migrants. How does the family ensure that their children
marry within the community if the community is spread across the world?
Do they allow their children to marry outside the community? How do
they bridge the cultural gap if this becomes the case? Arranged, forced,
and cross-cultural marriages all have their own particular issues. In terms
of mixed race marriages, the first generation of migrants tends to expect
their children to marry within their people group. Subsequent generations
and waves of migrants tend to be more open to marrying outside their
race or caste, as the communities become more familiar with their adopted
culture. However, there is a need for good role models that represent
successful cross-cultural marriages.
With arranged marriages, some communities have again found the
Internet useful in connecting people together. Marriage bureaus have
gone online, and some of these have really taken off. Take the example
of www.shaadi.com, which is a web site that has introduced Muslim,
Hindu, Sikh and Christian marriage partners since 1997, across the
world. There are undoubtedly opportunities for Christian organizations
here.9
Then there are retirement issues. Elderly migrants are put into
retirement homes when they expect their families to look after them to
the end of their years. Many choose to return to their home countries at
retirement, but this is waning. If they do remain in retirement homes,
how can we minister to their feelings of unsettlement and isolation?
Here too, there are opportunities for Christian organizations to seek out
and help elderly South Asians retiring away from their home country.
Secondary Migration
As I mentioned above, individuals and whole people groups have
migrated between countries for centuries. But as travel has become easier
and more affordable, and the reasons for migration have multiplied,
secondary migrations and further waves of migration have ensued, and
will continue. People have moved from Asia to the UK and Europe, and
on to North America, Africa, Australia and New Zealand, with families
also moving between these nations. However, these multiple migrations
are leading to a fallout in all of these countries, as displaced people face
issues of poverty, isolation, rejection and culture shock.
9 More than a Wedding! (2008) is another pioneering resource for South Asian couples
from Care for the Family.
When traumatic events take place, like 9/11 in the US or the London
bombings in July 2005 (‘7/7’), people who appear to be ‘different’ can
face enormous tensions and alienation.10 The credit crunch has hit
everybody, including migrants who are often at the sharp end of things.
They may have moved to the US for a job, but then found themselves
redundant. There is a need for debt counseling, and counseling people
about which country they should relocate to.
I have also seen examples of ethnic peoples hitting the poverty
line across the developed world. In American supermarkets you will
find food parcels for the poor, and shelters with food packs. If poverty
hasn’t already hit South Asian families in your city, it may just be a
matter of time.
In summary, there is a growing need for counselors to minister
to the South Asian migrant’s soul. There are people suffering from
isolation and loneliness, alienation and rejection through racism, and the
pressure to succeed and support their families. Our job as Christians and
counselors is to find them, befriend them, and begin to meet their needs.
References
Gidoomal, R. (1993). Sari ‘n’ Chips. England, UK: MARC-South Asian Concern.
Gidoomal, R. (1997). The UK Maharajas. England, UK: Middlesex University
Press.
Gidoomal, R, Mahtani, D. and Porter, D. (2001), The British and How to Deal
with Them: Doing Business with Britain’s Ethnic Minorities. England, UK:
Middlesex University Press.
Sutcliffe, S. (1998) Good News for Asians in Britain. Cambridge: Grove Books
Limited.
Wardell M. and Gidoomal, R. (1994) Chapatis for Tea: Reaching your Hindu
Neighbour. Guildford: Highland Books.
Wardell M. and Gidoomal, R.(1996) Lions, Princesses, Gurus: Reaching your Sikh
Neighbour. Guildford: Highland Books.
Other Helpful Sources

Aaraadhanaa Ho, London, South Asian Concern, 2003.
Asian Parenting Matters, Cardiff, Care for the Family (2008) www.
careforthefamily.org.uk
Belonging, Believing, Behaving: British Asian Discipleship in the 21st Century,
Jewels in His Crown (2000).
Catalyst for Change: The South Asian Diaspora, London: South Asian Concern (2005).
10 Friends, Strangers, Citizens? Life in Britain post 7/7 (2007) is a DVD discussion
resource in which community leaders, young people and people on the street give their
views on issues such as the threat of terror and the role of religion.
Celebrating Together, London: South Asian Concern (2000).

Looking for Directions: Towards an Asian Spirituality, London: South Asian
Concern (2006). (www.southasianconcern.org).
Masala Bridge Builders, London: South Asian Development Partnership (2005).
More than a Wedding! Cardiff, Care for the Family (2008) (www.careforthefamily.
org.uk).
The New People Next Door: A Call to Seize the Opportunities, Lausanne Committee
for World Evangelization (LOP 55), 2005.
2
Landscape: Mental Health Needs of
South Asian Indians
Thomas Kulanjiyil
Introduction
The Asian Indian population is said to be the second largest ethnic
group within the Asian American community in North America. They
constitute about 16.4% of the Asian American population. Yet, you
seldom see an Asian Indian in a counseling office. As a community,
Asian Indians utilize mental health services very marginally. Does
this mean that there are no mental health issues in the Asian Indian
community? No, that is far from the truth. There are several reasons why
they do not seek specialized counseling. Firstly, people are reluctant
to seek professional counseling because it will stigmatize not only
the person who needs help, but also the entire family. Secondly, the
myth of the “model minority” has a negative effect on the community,
resulting in the denial of mental health problems. And thirdly, there is
a conflict between Indian cultural values and values implicit in North
American counseling and psychotherapy. North American psychology
sees development of the individual self as the essence of mental health,
whereas for Asian Indians, self-centered interests cannot transcend
familial obligations and loyalty (Das & Kemp, 1997). The other factors
might include prejudice about mental illness, ignorance regarding the
benefit of counseling, and also the lack of culturally sensitive counseling
services available in their communities (Poterotto, Fuertes, & Chen,
& 2001). In the discussion that follows I shall identify major areas
where the Asian Indian community in North America can benefit from
counseling services offered through professional or religious agencies.
Immigration and Acculturation Issues

Immigration is a painful experience for most Asian Indians as they
are being uprooted from a familiar environment and displaced in a
totally different setting, leaving behind close relatives and friends.
Most people attempt to cope with their sense of loss by thinking that
their stay in the country is only temporary, and that they would return
to their motherland, once their children have received good education
and secured stable careers. However, in reality, the longer one stays in
the West, the harder it becomes to go back. Their commitment to the
children and their families often keeps them in the West for the rest of
their lives. Nearly all Asian Indian immigrants still keep active ties with
their family and friends back home, and would visit them whenever
possible.
Das & Kemp (1997) observed that a typical Asian Indian family in
its native setting was rooted in a tight network of close relatives and
friends. With immigration, these networks were disturbed, and the
family had to establish new societal contacts out of which new social
support systems had to develop. In the intervening time, the capacity of
the family to provide emotional support to its members was negotiated.
Such circumstances led to strained relationships between husbands
and wives, especially if the husband had a demanding career and the
wife was home alone unable to develop much contact with the outside
world. This often created a great deal of stress in the family leading to
emotional and physical illness. McGoldrick and Giordano (1996) agreed
with this observation when they stated,
“…migration is so disruptive that it seems to add an entire extra stage
to the life cycle for those who must negotiate it. Adjusting to a new
culture is not a single event, but a prolonged developmental process that
affects family members differently, depending on their life cycle’s phase.
Migration in later life can be especially difficult because families are
leaving a great deal of their life experience and socio-cultural resources
behind.”
It is estimated that at least 50% of Asian Indians are recent
immigrants, and for many, the initial adjustment to the American
society is significantly stressful. Sandhu, Portes and Mcphee (1996)
have identified at least six major elements of acculturation stress. They
include perceived discrimination, homesickness, perceived hate, fear,
stress due to culture shock, and guilt for leaving loved ones behind.
Adaptation to societal norms, cultural values, and daily behaviors of
the prevailing group constantly cause inevitable psychological distress
and problems for members of acculturating groups. As a result, “…
Landscape: Mental Health Needs of South Asian Indians 23
threats to cultural identity, powerlessness, feelings of marginality, a

sense of inferiority, loneliness, hostility, and perceived alienation and
discrimination become major mental health concerns” (Sandhu, Portes,
& McPhee, 1996, p 22.). Greater the level of acculturative stress, the less
likely one would develop adaptive skills for the accumulation, and for
such persons acculturation takes a long time.
One major obstacle for the new immigrant to overcome is
discrimination in the job market, and this is especially true during
periods of economic downturn. Dutta (1982) identified several factors
that affected the Asian–Indian-job market in the United States. Asian
Indians were “alien faces” to prospective American employers. Their
unfamiliar names and Asian accents created barriers to finding jobs.
Further, the employers preferred U.S. citizens over Asian Indians
with an “alien” status. Even when Asian Indians successfully cleared
the initial screenings by potential employers, they still had to face
the obstacle of obtaining job references. Employers normally did not
validate job references from India; these needed to be from jobs held in
the U.S. When it came to career advancement and promotions, Asian
Indians were definitely discriminated against. (Smith, 2009; Krings &
Olivares, 2007).
Sandhu et al (1996) point out that the acculturation process is a
significant cause for stress as it involves the individual undergoing major
changes in his or her ethno- cultural orientation. The individual can
experience “threats to ethno-cultural identity, feelings of powerlessness,
inferiority, and alienation as well as a sense of marginality and hostility.”
This may be a reality all immigrants in this country are to reckon with. In
comparison to other Asian communities in the American society, some
have described the Indian community as an “invisible community.”
They lacked organized efforts to register their presence in American
politics and were satisfied with whatever fortunes they were able to
make in this country. It has been suggested that at least part of the
reason for this quandary is their sense of powerlessness as a minority to
influence the power structures. The glaring exceptions are the handful
of wealthy individuals who have personally influenced some politicians
recently.
Major Psychological Probelms

Major psychological problems that warrant interventions for South
Asians are mood disorders, anxiety disorders, adjustment disorders,
psychosomatic disorders, and substance abuse disorders (Gosh, 2008).
Other disorders include personality disorders, especially dependent
personality disorder, and narcissistic personality disorder. These

conditions go undiagnosed and people live with these problems for
many years because they never seek help.
In general, one psychological problem which people are willing to
get help for is depression. Usually that help is sought from a primary
care physician rather than a psychologist or a counselor. In addition
to heredity factors, immigration and acculturation-related stress,
unemployment, marital discord, family dysfunction and pre-existing
medical conditions can cause depression. According to Varma and
Chakrabarti, Asian Indian depressives tend to somatize more often
than Western ones. The prevalence of guilt feelings has been reported
to be less in Asian Indian patients than in their American counterparts.
Suicide rates are much less among Asian Indians than the Americans,
though suicidal ideation and unsuccessful suicidal attempts are quite
common (Varma & Chakrabarti, 1995).
Older Adults: A Neglected Population

According to one recent estimate, in the US today, there are about
three million people of Asian Indian origin and about 350,000 are 60
years and older. These elderly immigrants include two types: early
and recent. Early immigrants are those who left India for job and
educational opportunities in the late sixties and early seventies and
are now seniors. Recent immigrants are those who left India as seniors
mostly sponsored by their adult children (Prasad, 2009). I would like
to focus our discussion here primarily on the second type, the recent
elderly immigrant.
It is not uncommon for an average Asian Indian household to have
living with them at least one elderly parent of either of the couple.
While parents visiting from India may stay in the country anywhere
from three to six months, a good number of these elderly people are
either legal immigrants or naturalized citizens. This situation opens up
several problems for the family. Firstly, a type of joint-family system
is recreated in a new social and cultural environment. In this context,
intergenerational conflict is an inescapable reality. Secondly, these
elderly parents suffer from social isolation, often leading to depression.
They lack socialization opportunities and sorely miss members of
their own community. They rarely engage meaningfully with life.
It is said that these older adults are merely “baby sitters” for their
grandchildren, or simply a burden. Thirdly, for most part of the day they
are confined to a house or an apartment. They have limited resources
for adult interaction, recreation and meaningful relaxation. Many of
them become sick within a short span of time. This leads to the fourth
issue, limited and inadequate medical resource. Almost all of them are
economically dependent on their children, and even if the family is
able to provide some insurance coverage or qualify them for Medicaid,
western medicines often have limited benefits for them. A number of
these people have pre-existing conditions like diabetes, asthma, hyper
tension, and other health problems. Many of them are used to alternative
medicines like Homeopathy or Ayurveda. This makes medical decisions
much more complicated. Fifthly, with very little possibilities for cultural
adaptation at this age, these elderly immigrants regularly experience
conflicts with their children and grandchildren on cultural values and
norms. Sixthly, it is not unusual for siblings to willingly or forcefully
take turns hosting their parents for temporary periods, in order to
alleviate the burden of care-giving on any one person. Nonetheless,
this rotation creates more problems for the old parents because they are
constantly shifted from house to house, place to place, and region to
region. At an advanced age it is not easy for them to make such sudden
transitions, and many of them suffer from adjustment disorders. Lastly,
the working Asian Indian immigrant finds it difficult to effectively fulfill
his/her culturally imposed filial duty elevating their own stress levels
and creating new situations of relational conflicts with the parents as
well as with other family members.
In exceptional cases, a small number of these elderly adults are
transitioned either to an older adult’s home, or a nursing home, but
have difficulty with adjustments there too. The American elder care
system is not effectively prepared to meet the needs of this population.
Language, food, life-style, cultural sensitivity, socialization and
recreation opportunities are major problems for them. While visiting
an Asian Indian resident in a nursing home facility the person told me,
“I don’t eat much; I drink a few cups of coffee daily. All that I need is
some Indian rice soup.” Yet in another facility, the Indian resident said,
“I limit myself to this room. I seldom get out or talk to anybody.” The
individual was able to speak only in her native Indian language creating
a major communication barrier. Awareness of these problems and needs,
on the part of family members and care givers can help effectively serve
this culturally diverse population.
In 1977, Sandhu and Aspy remarked that researches focused on
the needs of the Asian American older generation were extremely
scant. Even after thirty years, the mental health community continues
to ignore the real needs of this special population, despite the fact that
the Asian Indian older population is increasing at a rapid rate. I have
had a few opportunities to work with such elderly clients, and in all
cases depression and adjustment issues were the major clinical foci.
Although such individuals seem to resist professional counseling, they
do connect well with counselors who are culture sensitive and have the
ability to speak their language.
Intergenerational Issues
As is the case with many other immigrant communities in the United
States, children of Asian Indian immigrants too need to socialize with two
cultures, the culture of the family and the culture of the larger American
society. However, conflicts often arise between parents and children on
matters of cultural values and norms. In their survey of the two Indo-
American samples, parents and college students, Kar, Campbell, Jimenez,
& Gupta (1995/96) identified five psychosocial factors that affected
the quality of life of Asian Indian immigrants. These include identity
and assimilation into the American culture, intergenerational conflicts,
criteria for marital preferences, gender role conflicts and marriage and
divorce. The study revealed that students were more comfortable than
their parents with the American life style. The students spoke English at
home more often than their parents and were able to be-friend people of
non-Indian ancestry. Compared to the parents, the students were more
bi-cultural. Also, about one-third of the fathers and mothers still retained
their Indian provincial identity such as Punjabi, Bengali, Gujarati, etc.
The most important source of intergenerational conflicts and
psychological distress is the clash of values between parents and children
on dating and marriage preferences (George, 2006). Any personal choice
inconsistent with parental wishes, is perceived by them as a threat to their
parental status and their right to control their children’s behavior. The
younger generation placed greater emphasis on individualism and the
search for personal identities.
Three criteria considered most important in a marital partner are
similar ethnicity, religion and language, in that order. The issue of an
individual’s caste in marital decisions reinforced by the first generation
immigrants, appears to be slowly disappearing among the second and
third generations, and this is often a source of conflict between parents
and children.
Marital Discord
Upon immigration to the U.S., Asian Indian women find greater
freedom for self-expression and independence. However, this new
found freedom may often clash with traditional cultural values. Marital
conflicts may arise on issues of gender roles, and marital expectations.

Rejecting the North American notion of an egalitarian relationship
between spouses, men may insist on traditional gender roles. Indian
working women, in addition to their work-related responsibilities, are
expected to raise their children, and take the lion’s share of domestic
chores. Asian Indian women in America are forced to develop “two
different personalities,” one as the assertive career woman appropriate
for the American working culture, and the other as a subordinate
woman in the home. The development of two “different personalities”
can have devastating long-term effects. It is emotionally difficult for
these women to assert their newly-developing sense of self within these
restrictive roles (Kar et. al. 1995/96).
Divorce among Asian Indians is on the rise, especially in the last ten
years. The Indian community seems to have greater tolerance to divorce
these days than in the past, and remarriage of divorced persons is more
acceptable and common. Yet, while both men and women do suffer
the social consequences of divorce to some degree, the greater effect is
said to be on women. The larger Asian Indian community is still not
open to the idea of divorce, although tolerance levels have improved.
The remarriage of a woman divorcee is harder than a divorced man in
the Asian Indian community. This creates a great deal of psychological
stress to the woman which might lead to social isolation, increased
stress, and depression.
The Asian Indian community can greatly benefit from both
premarital and marital counseling. With changing attitudes to
traditional marriages, both in India and in the West, one can expect
short lived marriages. This will be a major crisis the community would
face in the future. As a preventative approach, pre-marital counseling
is highly recommended. Marital enrichment programs that are more
culturally relevant can strengthen marriages and health of families.
Mere adaptation of Western models of these counseling programs may
not be very effective, and therefore, Asian Indian initiatives have to be
undertaken.
Domestic violence is one of the pervasive problems of the Indian
society and studies in the U.S. reveal that domestic abuse is widespread
in the Asian Indian community (Grossman & Lundy, 2007, Raj &
Silverman, 2003). Already there are a few domestic violence shelters and
treatment programs in full operation in such major cities as New York,
Chicago and Houston, where there is a large presence of Asian Indians.
These agencies are run by Asian Indians, and more such programs are
needed in other parts of the country.
Obviously, there are many more problems Asian Indian Americans

face and they can benefit from counseling. A unified effort on the
part of the Asian Indian community, social organizations, religious
organizations, and mental health community, could enhance counseling
to this population. By tapping resources from within the community
and networking with other mental health agencies, we can extend the
benefit of counseling services to a wider Asian Indian community.
References
Das, A.K. & Kemp, S.F. (1997). Between Two Worlds: Counseling South Asian
Americans. Journal of Multicultural Counseling and Development, 25, 1, 23-33
George, S. (2006). Understanding the Coconut Generation: Ministry to the
Americanized Asian Indians. Lisle, IL: Mall Publishing Co.
Gosh, S.C. (2008), Understanding Behavior Disorders: Their Perception,
Acceptance, and Treatment--A Cross-Cultural Comparison between India
and the United States, International Journal of Special Education, Vol. 23, 1
Grossman, S.F; Lundy, M. (2007). Domestic Violence across Race and Ethnicity:
Implications for Social work, Practice & Policy. Violence against Women,
Vol 13, No 10.
Kar, S.B., Combell, K., Jimenez, A., & Gupta, S.R. (1995/96). Invisible Americans:
Indo-American quality of life. American Journal, 21, 25-52.
Krings, F & Olivares, J. (2007). At the doorstep to employment: Discrimination
against Immigrants as a Function of Applicant Ethnicity, Job type, and
Raters’ Prejudice. International Journal of Psychology, December, Vol. 42, 6,
pp. 406-417
McGoldrick, M., Giorano, J., & Pearce, J.K. (1996). (Eds.). Ethnicity and Family
Therapy, New York, Guilford Publications.
Prasad, R. (2009). Residential and other Related Issues of Indian Elders.
Retrieved March 12, 2010 from http://www.niaasc.org/
Poterotto, J.G., Fuertes, J.N., & Chen, E.C. (2001). Models of Multicultural
Counseling. In S,D. Brown. & R.W. Lent. (Eds.). Handbook of Multicultural
Psychology, (3rd Ed.). (pp.639-669). New York: John Wiley.
Raj, A., Silverman, J.G. (2003).Immigrant South Asian Women at Greater
Risk for Injury from Intimate Partner Violence, American Journal of Public
Health, 93(3): 435-437.
Sandhu, D.S., Portes, P.R., McPhee, S.A. (1996). Assessing Cultural Adaptation:
Psychometric Properties of the Cultural Adaptation Plan Scale. Journal of
Multicultural Counseling and Development, 24, 15-25
Sandhu, D.S. (Ed.). (1999). Asian and Pacific Islander Americans: Issues and
Concerns for Counseling and Psychotherapy. New York: Nova Science.
Smith, B. L. (2009). Tongue Ties. ABA Journal, April 2009, Vol. 95, 4, p17-18
Varma, V.K., Chakraborti, J. (1995). Social Correlates and Cultural Dynamics
of Mental Illness. In Traditional Society-India. In Al-Issa, Ihsan. (Ed.).
Handbook of Culture and Mental Illness: An International Perspective. (pp. 115-
125). Madison: International Universities Press.

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The chapters in this book, contributed by experienced practitioners, provide

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INTRODUCTION - Thomas Kulanjiyil 1

SECTION A: SOCIO-CULTURAL REALITIES

SECTION B: PSYCHOLOGICAL ANALYSES

SECTION C: THEOLOGICAL REFLECTIONS

FINAL WORD - T.V. Thomas 213

Select Bibliography 221

Thomas Kulanjiyil, PsyD., PhD

Rev. Dr. T.V. Thomas

networking. From 1984 to 1994 Dr. Thomas served as Professor of Evangelism

Ram Gidoomal CBE, LLD (Hon), CCMI,

Esther Barkat, Ed.D.

Leela Cherian, PhD.

Packiaraj Arumugham, PhD.

Sam George, BE, MS, MA, (PhD)

Shoji Mary Boldt, MA, LCPC.

Jacob Philip Nanthicattu, D.Th.

Abraham Thomas, BE, MBA, MA.

Rev. David Ravinder, PhD.

Deepak Reju, PhD.

Ken Barbic, BS, MA

Mabel Koshy MD, FACP, DMin.

The proposal to produce a volume on South Asian Counseling emerged

abuse are widespread, and a sense of helplessness clouds the future.

In chapter 3 of Section A, Esther Barkat presents a pilot study on

Christian care giving is centered on the conviction, “We care because

variety of current counseling needs within those congregations. A lay

up to this expulsion from Africa. Being established and successful

drawbridge. As a family, we banded together and replicated the culture

mutually beneficial for migration. Destination for migration included

The American Dream

approach their psychological needs and issues differently. The American

a need to send money to family back in the home country which is

Caring for Family

in an adopted country, the nuclear family is frequently unable to cope

Marriage and Retirement

Other Helpful Sources

Celebrating Together, London: South Asian Concern (2000).

Immigration and Acculturation Issues

threats to cultural identity, powerlessness, feelings of marginality, a

Major Psychological Probelms

personality disorder, and narcissistic personality disorder. These

Older Adults: A Neglected Population

conflicts may arise on issues of gender roles, and marital expectations.

Obviously, there are many more problems Asian Indian Americans

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