Icanridemybikewithnohandlebars

JITHINTHOMAS
M.APsychosocialClinicalStudies
7838300790
gtfogtfu@gmail.com

HelloSir.
Imustapologizefirst!

Sorryforallthedelayandtrouble.

AndnowIshallbegin!

Preface
Ioftenbreakinandoutofaheadspace,likeapendulum.Sometimesonemayfindithardtokeepthe
chainofconnectionsintact.
Therearemanyconversationswithpeopleinmyworkwhichhavebeentranslatedbyme.Iamnotfully
sureifIhavedonethemjusticebutIhaveoftentakenadvicefromsourceswhenevertherewasagap
intheunderstandingofawordanditsusage,therehavebeennumerouspeoplewhohelpedmeandI
amgratefultothem.

InthisInformationeraIhavetheaudacitytocallyouoranyoneanaddictandproveittothem.Ican
easilymonitorsocialmediafeeds,look-uptaggedlocations-photographs-people,posts,likes,groups,
blogs,testimonies,comments,notes,reviewsanythingIcanfind,acueisanytinybitofinformationthat
canbelookedupforaslongasoneisconnectedtotheinternet.MaybeyoulikeIcecreams,traditional
kurtasoverT-Shirts;andmaybeyourfavoritecolorissaffronormaybethatyoupreferbidisover
cigarettes.Illuseacomputertoorganizethisinformation.

Suppose,Xchecksintogymandclicksaselfieanduploadsit,ananalysisofeachcheckinsmaysaythat
Xchecksintothegymaround10ameveryday.XchecksinwithYfrequently,andIknownowwhoXis
likelytobefoundwith.
Thefrequencyofyourcheckinsandthecommonpeopleinyourphotographswouldhelpmeeasily
figureoutwhereyouwouldlikelybeandatwhattime!Icanprofileobjectsandcolorsfromyourlife,
anythingthathashappenedinyourlifewhichhasbeenconvertedtodigitalmediaisrighttherebehind
 Icanridemybikewithnohandlebars

someone'sscreenwaitingtobefound!Thisiswhatahacklookslikeormaybeyoujustwalkedintothe
mindofapsychopathandfiguredouthowItrackmyvictimsbutImustmentionthatthisisalsothe
verysamemethodwhichsocialmediahandlersusetotargetyoutosellsellyoutheirproducts!
Onecanlookupkey-logsfromcookiesfrombothinsideandoutsideofyourcomputerandfigureout
anythingtheywant!ItsnotsomethingthatonlyC.I.AorITcellsdo.Infactanyonewhoknowsenough
aboutPenetrativeOpenSourceProjectslikeKALIwouldtellyouthesame!

Thisisnotaboutinternetsecurityprotocols.Itisnotaboutyouormebeingaddicts.Itisabouthow
easilywecanusedefinitions.Addictionisatermthatisbasedonawholelotofassumptions.Youhave
wordsforthecombinationofwordstoconfusewartslikeme.

Meh!
Easydefinitions!Isay.
Ilikefish,Iwantfish!
Ilikefood,Iwanttolive.
Ilikelife,Iwanttobehappy.
IlikemoneyandIneeditmorethanIwanthappiness.
Iliketobehappy,Idon'thavethemoneybutIcanlove!
IliketolovebutIalsowantsex!
IlikesexIwantitmorethanIwantlove!
Ican'taffordanythingandnowIdodrugs!
IlikeDrugs,IwantDrugs!
Ilikethemmorethanotherthings!
SometimesIlikethemmorethanmyLife!
SometimesitstheonlythingIlove!

Addictionsisaneasydefinitioncomingfromtheassumptionthatthereisalwaysahierarchyinobject
relations.

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Chapter1.

Duringthebeginningofmypursuitforadissertationtopic,Iamconvincednow,thatIwasdrivenby
extremecuriosity.IamawarethatImayhavecompletelyoverlookedcertainsubjectsandshown
resistanceforconflictingideas.IhavesincethenstoppedgrazinglikeacowinanopenfieldandIhave
strengthenedmyresolvetonotjumptoanyconclusionstooquickly.

Arehallucinationspathognomonicofpsychosis?

Mydissertationisacommentaroundthisquestion.Iamnotattemptingtoanswerit.Iwouldbe
elaboratinguponthesymptomatologyofpsychosis,especiallyschizophrenia,withregardsto
hallucinations,forhallucinationsaresymptomsfundamentaltopsychiatry.Theycomeinvariousforms
andkindsanditisnotthateasytounderstandone.Oftentherehavebeenwrongdiagnosescauseddue
tomisinterpretedsymptoms.Iamtryingtoshowcertaindifferences,astohowthissymptomisunique
initself.Itsbothasymptomforanimpendingdiagnosisaswellasamarkerforacure.

UnderstandingPsychosis

Hallucinationsareconventionallytreatedasapsychoticdisorderalthoughwehaveknownforalong
timethathallucinationscouldoccurinnon-psychoticconditions.(BlackPatchPsychosi).

Ihavemyownunderstandingofthepsychicapparatus,whichdoesntmeanthatitsunique.Ibelieve
thatthebrainisalwaysconsciousandunlikeFreudwhobelievedthatthepsychewasmadeofthree
parts,Ithinkthepsychoticcoreisformedduringthebirthofachild,allprimitiveandprimordialtraits
thatisakintothegreatapesisfoundhere.Itisthefoundationonwhichtheneuroticselflearns,
throughprocessesofinternalizationandrationalizationbuildsitself.Thebalancebetweentheneurotic
selfandthepsychoticcoreiswhatdeterminesthecharacteristicsofourmentallife.

Inneurosistheegosuppressespartoftheidoutofallegiancetoreality,whereasinpsychosisitlets
itselfbecarriedawaybytheidanddetachedfromapartofreality.(Freud,1924,Neurosisand
Psychosis)

IamnottryingtodisproveFreud'sconceptualization,thisismelookingforanchorsorcuesIcanuse
fromsomeoneelse'sgreatimagination.HemadeamajordistinctionbetweenNeurosisandPsychosisin
thispaper.Hisformulationofthepsychicapparatushelpedusunderstandthestructurewhichthethe
egocreates,autocratically,anewexternalandinternalworldHeaffirmedthatthisnewworldwas
constructedinaccordancewiththeidswishfulimpulses,theidremainedcompletelydependentonthe
externalworldandthatthemotiveofthisdissociationfromtheexternalworldwassomeveryserious
frustrationbyrealityofawish-afrustrationwhichseemsintolerable."(Freud,1924)
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Wehavetokeepinmindalotofthings,anditispreciselythiskeepinginmindpartthatisthemost
troubling.Hallucinationandperceptionemergefromthesamesetofprocesses(V.SRamachandran
2010)Thedifferenceisthatwhenweareperceiving,thestabilityofexternalobjectsandeventshelps
thebrainanchorthem.Thisismoreorlesshowwefunctionnormallyinourdaytodaylives.If
hallucinationandperceptionasV.SRamachandranargues,emergesfromthesamesetofprocesses,
then,sincethebrainisplastic,itcanbehypothesizedthatcertainneuralpathwaysthatfireduring
perceptionmightjustcrosseachother.Theendresultwouldbesomethingthatiscalled"synaesthesia''.
Itshowsthatthespacebetweenordinaryperceptionandhallucinationissomewhatveryclosethan
whatisunderstood.

Freudcallshallucinatoryconfusionasthemostextremeandstrikingformofpsychosis(Freud1924)-
whereeithertheexternalworldisnotperceivedatall,ortheperceptionofithasnoeffectwhateveron
thepsyche.Hallucinationsareseentobelocatedintheexternalobjectivespace,hegoesontoadd.
Idonotthinksoforhowcanyoulocatethisexternalobjectivespacewhenthelinebetweenwhatisreal
andwhatisperceivedtoberealisverythin?

Weknowthathallucinationswhentheyhappeninpsychosisbecomeamediumoffulfillinginternal
needswhenthepainoremotionaldistressbecomessounbearable,itbecomesawayofcopingwith
suchanunbearablereality.Themindcreatesanimaginedrealitybothinternalandexternal.Thisisthe
majorandmostfundamentaldifferencebetweenneurosisandpsychosisthatFreudcarvedoutandwe
areindeedgratefulofhim.Fornowweknowthatpsychosisisnotjustonething,it'smulti-dimensional
andhasmultiplecauses.Itsatransientsymptominavarietyofpersonalitydisorders.Thecauseof
psychosis,usuallyisamentalillnesssuchasmajordepression,delusionaldisorderorschizophrenia.
Somepeoplecanalsobecomepsychoticbysubstanceabuse,thereisahierarchyofabusepotentials.
Thissubstancecouldbeanythingfrommethamphetamines,cannabis,herointopsychiatricmedication
likebenzodiazepinesorsyntheticopiates.Therearegeneralmedicationslikesteroidsthatcanalso
causeapsychoticreaction.

"Whenthedepressivepsychosishasbecomemanifest,itscardinalfeatureseemstobeamental
inhibitionwhichrendersarapportbetweenthepatientandtheexternalworldmoredifficult."-(Karl
Abraham1927)
Psychosisisaconflictbetweenegoandreality.Itconsistsofthepresenceofhallucinations,delusions,
psychicimpairmentthatgrosslyinterfereswithsocial,occupational,academicorbasicday-to-day
functioning,it'ssometimesreferredtoasa"breakwithreality".Duringpsychosisthepreconscious
systemisinvadedbytheunconsciousinasearchforprimitiveformsoflibidinoussatisfaction,suchas
hallucination.Duringapsychoticreactiononeissaidtobeinapsychoticbreakwithreality.Itmeans
thelossofcontactwithrealityandnormalperception.Likehallucinationssometimesapsychotic
reactionmaynotevenhaveanexternalcorrelation.Duringaninstanceofdelusionthepersonmayend
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upbelievingsomethingtruetobefalse.Emotionscanbecomewidelyinconsistentwithrealitylikein
thecaseofcatatonicschizophreniawhichisabodilyconditioncausedduetothewildflightofthoughts
andemotionsofsomeonegoingthroughamanicepisode.Thereisthusnoonecauseforpsychosis.
Psychosiscanhappenduetoschizophreniaandmajordepression.Itcanalsohappenasaresultof
mourning.Toanswerthequestion,Psychosisisnotjustaflightfrommourning,mourningcaninduce
psychosisasadefensebutpsychosiscanmanifestitselfinalotofotherwayslikeIpointedout.

Thetypicalconditionofapsychoticisdemonstratedinthefollowinglines:
"Asherpsychosistookholdshemoveddeeperanddeeperintothehouse,puttingasmuchdistanceas
possiblebetweenherselfandtheoutsideworld.Thisbecameherworld.Tobeginwithitwasjustafew
rooms.Thenitcontracteddowntojustthisone,andthentojustthistank.Eventhatwasn'tenough.She
constructedbarrierstofoolanddelaytheghosts.Corridorsthatdon'tleadanywhere,orwhichspiral
backonthemselves.Hiddenstairwaysthattheywon'tsee.Mirrorseverywhere,tobaffleandconfuse
hertormentors.Doorsthatopenontowalls.Ofcourse,eventhatisn'tsufficientbyitself.Theghostsare
cleverandresourceful,andthey'llkeeptryingtofindawayin.That'swhythehousehastokeep
changing,sothattheynevergetusedtooneparticularconfiguration."(AlastairReynolds.2008)

Howeverbadtheymaysoundandfeel,delusionsandhallucinationshappenasameansofexpressing
somethingthathasbeenforsolongsuppressed,lyingdormantinsidethemindofaperson.Theyare
understoodasafunctioning,asamethodofcommunicatingtotheother,revealingtotheworldthat
theselfisshatteringandcrumblingapart.Thinkofitlikethelastresort,beforeanultimatecollapseof
thepsyche.

"Afairnumberofanalyseshavetaughtusthatthedelusionisfoundappliedlikeapatchovertheplace
whereoriginallyarenthadappearedintheegosrelationtotheexternalworld''.(Freud1924).
Delusionsandhallucinationsthusbecomemarkersthatrevealtoustheconditionoftheperson'sself
thatistryingtoholditselftogetherbywhatevermeansitcan.Thestoriesmadpeopletellthemselves
functiontocreatemeaningandorganizeexperiencethathasbecomedisorganizedandmeaninglessin
thewakeofapsychoticbreakdown.
Delusionsareviewedasarisingfromthehealthypartofthepersonwhoattributesmeaningto
anomalousexperienceasawayofcompensatingforsignificantlosses,traumasanddestructiveevents
thataretoopainfultodirectlyacknowledgetotheself.

"Normally,theexternalworldgovernstheegointwoways:firstly,bycurrent,presentperceptions
whicharealwaysrenewable,andsecondly,bythestoreofmemoriesofearlierperceptionswhich,in
theshapeofaninternalworld,formapossessionoftheegoandaconstituentpartofit"(Freud1924)
ApsychoticepisodecouldalsobecalledanepisodewheretheIdisgoingberserk.TheIdbeingthispart
ofthepersonalitythatfunctionsprimarilyonthebasisofthepleasureprinciple,willwantanythingand
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everythingthatfeelsgoodataparticulartime.Thesuper-egowhichisthemoralpartdoesn'treally
exist
becauseoftheabsenceofthe"father'sno".HencetheIdshowsnoconsiderationfortherealityofthe
situationandgoesberserk.Butthenapsychoticdoesn'tnecessarilymeanapsychopath.Contraryto
popularbelief,thepsychoticsarerelativelylessharmfulpeople.Itthenconfusesmealittle-isn't
psychopathyanepisodeofId'sexuberancetoo?
Thereisagreatdealofimportancegiventometaphorsandsignification,butwhenthemetaphoris
somethingpaternalisticandthesignification,almostalwaysphallic,itdoesn'tgiveyouanicepicture.
Well,ifweweretogetstuckherewithourhighlyevolvedplasticbrains,thentherereallyisnothingthat
makesusunique.

Sayknowtodrugs!

Ifyouremember,Ibeganbypitchingtheideaofmakinguseofpsilocybinmushroomsfor
psychotherapy.WhatIhavenowrealizedisthat,tomakesuchatherapyviableinIndiaitneedstobe
capitalizedandbroughtintothecountry,onlythencanitsell.TheprocessIbelievewillgatherenough
momentumbytheturnofthisdecadeandonedaytherewillbeaglobalcallfortheuseofcertain
substancesinaidingtherapy!Itisguaranteedtohappenbutonlytimewilltell,ifandwhenIndiawill
followup!
Ihavebeenstudyingpsychedelicsandafewotherpsychoactivesubstancesforthepastthreeyears.
(Soundlikeajunkiewhoisabouttothrowarant).
DuringthecourseofwhichIhavecomeacrossavarietyofsubstancesthatalterthemindinavarietyof
ways.Someofthemareextracted,synthesizedorpreparedinmakeshiftlaboratorieswhileothersare
naturaland/orindigenoustoparticularplaces.Youmusthaveheardthenamesofafewofthem.
Cannabisisthemostcommonlyused.LysergicaciddiethylamideorLSDisthefirstthatismentioned
whenoneisaskedaboutapsychedelicagent.Hyoscinealsoknownasscopolamineisanother
compoundthatisfoundintheseedsofafloweringplantcalleddaturastramoniumwhichisabundant
throughoutthecountry.Chankaisarelativelynewpsychoactivepsychedelicagentwhichisyettobe
identified,itsamixtureofherbsandseedsofvariousplants,theknowledgeofwhichisrestrictedtoa
fewindigenoushealersandsmugglersinsouthIndia.
PsilocybinistheactivecompoundinPsilocybinmushroomswhichisentirelyadifferentorderof
organisms.N.N-DimethyltryptamineorDMTisanactivepsychedeliccompoundthatisfoundinthebark
ofbabulandkhair.MDMAorecstasyisanotherpsychoactivedrugwhosemedicinalpropertiesare
slowlybeingunraveled.MostofthesesubstancesarebannedinIndiawhilesomeofthemareyettobe
recognized.Thepointhereisthatatickettoapsychedelictriporapsychoactivetripisrightunderyour
noseandmostofusdontevenrealizeit!Ivebeenusingpsychedelicsforquiteafewyearsnow.My
firstpsychedelicexperienceorapsychedelictrip,astheycallit,happenedwhenIwasinmyfirstyearof
graduation.IthasbeenindeedoneofthemanylifechangingexperiencesIvehad,thememoriesof
whichwhentheycome,embracemynakedexistence.Iamguessingitwasalmostafterayearlonggap
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sincemyfirsttripthatIstarteddoingpsychedelicsrecreationally,bythistimemyinterestinthemhad
grownexponentially.Ioftenreadalotaboutthemandslowlystartedtracingreferencesofitin
literatureandart.
Wediditonceevery4-6weeks,thecollectivetripswehadoftenaidedourmusicmakingprocess.What
wascommonaboutallthesesubstanceswasthattheyinducedasenseofeuphoria,exceptforinthe
caseofdaturawhichisaverypotentdeliriant.Therewasastrikingsimilaritybetweentheeffectsof
PsilocybinandLSD,theeye,Ifeltasifwasconstantlyfeedingoninformation,mysenseofhearingtoo
changedandmusicsoundedverydifferentbutpeoplehadthesamevoice,therewasnodistortionsin
sound.Icouldrecognize,perceiveandmakejudgementswithalittlebitofaneffortanditfeltasifmy
tactilesenseshadheightened.Thechainofassociationsthatyoumakewhileyouareonatripisbeyond
thelimitthatFreudplacedonanindividual'scapacitywhenitcametorecallingdreams.Unlikedreams,
thereisinfactnolimittoonesabilitytotraceachainofthoughtundertheeffectsofLSDorPsilocybin.
Youmightfeelasifyourbraincellswillfryifyouoverdoit,butno.OnLSDandPsilocybinthe
connectionsthatyoumake,eachassociationsthatcome,eachofthoserepressedmemorieshowever
intensetheymaybe,itseemsasifthesubstancesomehowmakestheprocesseasier.Imustsaythat
theexperienceiseasiestonPsilocybin.

Thisishowonepersonchosetodescribeit-
IwaswrestlingwithmyselfandthensuddenlyoutofnowhereIrealizedexactlywhatItwas,thatmade
mefightwithmyself.Therewassomuchvenominsideme,somethinghappenedanditvanished.
Oftentherearenumerousexampleswhichareverysimilartotheoneabove.Mostpeoplewhohave
hadapleasantexperiencerecallafeelingwhichissomethingverypeculiartocertaintypesof
substances.Theyoftenmentionaprofoundegodeathexperiencewhichispleasantbutintense.Asit
wearoff,thereisanaffinitytowardsvariousemotionsandeachoneofthemisaccompaniedbyasense
ofrelief.

AstudydonebyRobinL.Carhart-Harrisfoundthatpsilocybinwhichisthemainpsychoactivealkaloidof
theentheogenpsilocybinmushroomalsoknownasmagicmushroomreducestheoverallcerebral
bloodflow(CBF)tospecifickeybrainregions,suchasthethalamusandthemedialprefrontalcortex.
Theseregionsareheavilyconnectedtoallotherareasofthebrain.Theresultstronglyimpliedthatthe
subjectiveeffectofthepsychedelicsubstancedecreasedbrainactivityandconnectivityatthekey
connectorhubs.Theydescribeditasthebrainbeingin"astateofunconstrainedcognition",The
differentbrainareaswereseentobereceivinglessinputfromeach.
Yousee,thehippocampusistheareaofthebrainmostlyassociatedwithepisodicmemory.One
realizesthattherearealotofpsychedelicuserswhoreportrevisitingandrelivingspecificmomentsof
theirpastsandespeciallytheirchildhoods.Onecaninferthen,that,psychedelicsreducetheoverall
activitiesofthehippocampus,butthisisalsoaccompaniedbyanincreaseinactivitiesofthe
hippocampalneuronsthatencodethoseepisodesofsomeone'slife,whichtheyhappentobereliving
duringthetrip.
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TheauthorsoftheaforementionedpaperdidasimilarstudywithLSD.Whatisconsistentinallthis
researchisthefactthatthereisanentropiceffectoncorticalactivity,theyconcludedthatthisentropic
effectwasakeycharacteristicofthepsychedelicstate.Onewouldsay,thus,thatthebraininfalling
towardsdisorderasinitislikeasoupofgalaxiesconsumingeachother,distortingspacetime,acosmic
carousel,Ioftenlikeusingsuchanalogiesbecausethereisagreatsimilaritybetweenboththemost
massivethingsintheobservableuniverseaswellasthemostfundamentalofparticles.Likethisneuron
insideyourbrainwhichyouthinkisabouttofryitselfbecauseit'sliterallyspewingoutserotoninunder
anelectronmicroscopewouldlookacutelysimilartoourlocalsuperclusterLaniakea. Thesestudies
providesupportforthesafetyandefficacyoftheuseofpsychedelicsintherapy.Preliminarytestshave
providedevidencefortheuseofpsilocybinfortreatmentresistantdepression.

(Readitinabreath)
Itslikeacomicreliefwithoutmuchcomedy!

Ilikescene.
Ivebeenusingitsinceclassthree.Ithasmultiplemeanings
andItsnotjustapartofaplayorfilm.
IseescenesinmydreamswhenIsleep.
IseethemwhenIwakeupwhenIeat.
Idbedamnedifthere'snoscene!

Myfriendshavesceneswithme.
MusicscenesandGigScenes,
Itsattimesquiteconfusing!
Itsnotjustsomethingvisualyousee,
Itsperceivedbymorethanonemeans.
Sometimeswehavebaddays
Andwecallitasadscene!
VerbalassaultsandJunkiescenes!
But!
Ourscenes
arenotonourTV,computer,mobilescreens.
Wherenudescenesandsexscenes
becomethemostusedsearchterms!
Astheearthburns!
MedicationsandVaccines!
Warandcatastrophes!
Heresyourbillforanewdisease.

Thiswontbeapproved,ithasnovalidpoints!
Butthesceneiseternal!
Thescenehasalwaysbeenhere!
Itsthefleshthatfades!
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Foraslongasthehumanbeinghasinhabitedtheplanet,fromthattimesincethegreatapesclimbeddowntreesandventuredoutto
conquertheland,Iamproposinganewterm,unlikefortheperiodinhistorywherewestartedhavingsignificantimpactontheplanet,as
in,opposedtotheanthropocene.

IwelcomeyoutotheAnthropo-scene!

ThefieldTrip
excerpts

Thejourneyonthetrainfinallyseemstobeconcludingwiththesightofnilgirisbeginningtoemerge
onthehorizon.IamtravellingtowardsKodaikanalalongwiththreeofmyfriends,whoperhapsarefor
thefirsttime,traversingthispartoftheIndiansubcontinent.Thetraincomestoastopandquickly
departsfromthestationallowingusjustenoughtimetogatherourrucksacksandgetoff.Oncethe
trainpullsawaytoadistance,anawkwardsilencecomesthroughthebackground.Aswewalkedthe
lengthoftheplatformwithourthroatsrunningdryandthesunrightaboveourheads,werealizedthat
Itwasjustthe4ofus.Therewasapparentlynooneelse
inthat22raketrainwhochosetogetoffhere,notevenavendorfromthosegeneralcompartments.

WetakeaTamilNadugovernmentrunbustowardsKodaikanalfromtherailwaystation,whichisa
distanceof140kilometres.Thejourneytookalotmoretimethanweexpected.Someofuschoseto
sleepwhileUmeshandIgazedoutwardsattheabruptlandscapechanges.Thebustookuson
dwindlingroadsandnarrowviaducts,itmovedthroughthethickcoveroftheforest,makingdistant
stopsoftendraggingitselfontheclimbsandswingingdownthehill.AswereachKodaikanalthe
temperaturequicklydrops,thesunhasbeguntosetandthelightsinsidethebusareturnedon.There
arehandsintheair,quicklygrabbingjacketsandhats,sweatersandshawlsbeingpulledoutfrombags,
anepisodewhichlookedlikeadressupracewhichwetoojoinedsooner.

Thereweremanytaxidriversprowlingaroundthebusstandandallofthemseemedtoknowexactly
wherewewereheaded.Sincewewereassuredofourtransportation,wechosetorelaxabit,breakour
journeyhere,eatandthenproceedtoVattakanalwhichwasjustatadistanceof9kilometresfrom
Kodaikanal.

Vattakanal
Vattameansroundorcircularintamilandmalayalam.Kanalistheequivalentforawatercanal.
Kanalalsomeansburningcharcoal.IntheHistorybooks,Vattakanalwasnamedduetoitssignificant
geographicallocationontopofacircularridge,whichofferedadistinctbird'seyeviewofthePalani
wildlifereserveandtheKodaikanalvalleybelow.
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Vattaalsomeansmadnessinmalayalamandthereareoftenmorethanoneparallelstorieswhich
onemighthearfromthelocals.

Icouldsenseabitoftensionintheairassoonasweloadedourselvesintothetaxi.Thetaxidriverwho
wasatfirstsokeenatdroppingusoffatVattakanalnowseemedunenthusiastic.
Theroadslowlystartednarrowingandthecanopyengulfedus,allwecouldhearwasthesoundofthe
engineandtheclatterofmetalintheboot.
Ihadtolightacigaretteherejustsothatsomethingcouldcutthesilence.Itcouldvebeenanxietytoo.
Theflintcausedaminilightninginsidethecarwhichgavemeenoughtimetoseehisface,Icouldsense
troubleIamsure.Itwasnotathreatbutsomethingelse.

Onetoke.Nothing

Twotokes.Stillnothing

Threetok.
Itwasonmyface,almostlikeaslap!

Sirwhereareyougoingtovattakanal?

ItoldhimIhadafriendthere,Imentionedhisnameandhepretendedtobelieveit.
Soonhecarpetbombeduswithquestions.Oneforeachpassenger.

Whytheyouthisalwaysgoingtovattakanal?
Whatissospecialthere?
IsntourKodaikanalbeautiful?

Hedidnotseemtocarewhatourreplieswouldbeforhehimselfansweredallofthemforus.Hetold
usheknewexactlywhytherewassuchahullabooaroundvattakanalandwenttotonameallthevices
hethoughtonecouldfindthere,parties,alcohol,drugsandthensuddenly,hepausedandaskedmeifI
hadanythingonme.ForifIhadanything,evenalcohol,Iwastothrowitaway.Hetoldusthattherewas
acheckpostjustamilebeforevattakanalandthattheyconstantlymonitorthetraffic.

Thetaxisloweddownasitnearedthecheckpost.Therewasquiteacommotioninthemiddleofthe
nightwhichisunusualtosuchplaces.Isawacoupleofyoungadultsbeingfriskedandsomeoneelse
throwingupintheshadeofthedark.
Thetaxidriveraskedmetogetoffsayingthatifyoushowthemrespecttheywouldbeeasy.

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Itoldthemmynameandmypurpose,theyfriskedme,thoroughlywentthroughmyIdentitycardasI
juststoodtherewonderinghowthisplacehadchangedsomuch.Somehowtheotherswerenotasked
togetoffatall.Theyjustlookedinsidemybackpackandthatwasit.
Wewerehereatvattakanalbiddinggoodbyetothetaxiwallahwhohadalmosttakenthelifeoutofus.

Lafaerie.
NevinandKrity
Thisplaceisnamedaptly.Withgazebosandhammocksoverlookingalittlewaterfall,youcouldjustsit
hereanddreamallyouwouldwant.Itislikeasmallsceneinitselfandisconstantlyfrequentedbyall
kindsofpeople.Theguyswhorunthisplacearethenicestofhumanbeings.TheyserveboththeIndian
andForeigncrowdwithoutanybias.Mostofhomestayshereonlyservetoaspecifickindofcrowd.You
wouldoftenfindthingspricedhigherforIndians.

IsraeliTea-10,IndianTea-15

..
.
.
(TobeContinued)