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Jabriah Stevens

Professor Kays

ENG 102-22

May 2, 2017

What are the effects of divorce on children?

Divorce is a process in which two adults go through when they no longer want to be

legally married. Divorce is an ongoing issue in America and has been increasing significantly

over the years and the years to come. Also, the divorce rate in the United States is the highest in

the world and over one million American children suffer from the divorce of their parents

(mediate.com.) There are many divorces that involve children, and creates an enormous change

in the family structure. Which it could either affect the child positively or negatively and in my

research paper I will discuss the negative and positive effects that divorce has on children.

As much as people always focuses on the negative sides of things, there is always a

positive side in every situation. When it comes to divorce thats dealing with children, you

should keep in consideration your child and how your child may deal with the divorce. As much

as it's already difficult for the parents itself. Imagine a child younger dealing with the aftermath.

It could be very difficult; however, if it was for the sake of their childs well-being and their

safety, it could potentially be beneficial. According to (Susan Pease), divorce can actually be a

relief to the children because they no longer have to live with all the tension they had

experienced. If the parents have been constantly fighting, arguing and having many

disagreements. After the separation and the divorce, the child will no longer have to deal with it.

It could also increase their focuses on school. Children who must witness their parents fight

throughout their marriage become a norm to the child. The fighting between the parents causes
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behavioral problems in school which the child begins to act up in class and show aggression as

well as a decrease in their school work. It takes away the childs focuses, affecting their well-

being at school and their school work. But after the separation, the child doesn't have to any

longer deal with it and can potentially do better in school. In addition, it is not healthy for

children to be in an environment where they see the lack of respect and trust Often after the

divorce the parents find a way to get along for the sake of the children once they are no longer

living together (Richards, Naomi). Once the child is no longer exposed to a hostile living they

benefit tremendously.

Children can benefit from their parents divorce if each parent communicates effectively

with each other and with their child. They should explain the separation while keeping the child

out of any squabbles, they shouldnt bring the child between the two of their differences. It was

shown that children who didnt see it coming, are the ones who are more psychologically

affected the most (psychologytoday.com). They usually didnt have any time to deal with the

understanding of the separation and because the parents didnt communicate well with them.

They are lost and left to fill in whats going on, on their own. Children who have a sense of

stability and the strong sense of family can help indicate whether the child can benefit (Demo,

David). If the parents communicate and work together for the sake of the child, the child can

succeed after the divorce. Parents shouldn't show any lack of love and support while going

trough the divorce, if they lack their responsibility which is their child then they could potentially

affect their child rather than help them. If the parents can communicate and work together for the

sake of the child, it could teach the child how to deal with situations in life. Those who parents

were in an abusive relationship, also teaches the child that they dont have to stay in the abusive

relationship or a relationship that doesnt make them happy. In some cases, some parents even
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find a way to get along for the sake of the children once they are no longer living together. Again

they can learn that relationships dont have to break down completely. They can be changed into

something else. (Naomi Richards)

Divorce can be very traumatic and can affect a child either positively and negatively. It

all depends on three factors according to Meditiate.com. Children are affected based on the

quality of their relationship with each of their parents before the separation, the intensity and

duration of the parental conflict, and the parents ability to focus on the needs of children in their

divorce. Therefore, children can also be affected negatively, in which many people tend to focus

on the most. Children are mostly psychologically and mentally affected negatively. Many

children deal with many issues such as peer pressure, finding themselves, and maturing. So,

when it comes to their parents getting a divorce, it could become another stress factor. As much

as it becomes difficult for the parents to stay in the marriage, they also tend to not realize how

divorce could possibly affect their children as much as it does to them. Also, it can be a bad

effect on their child. If you are constantly fighting in front of your child, you may make your

child believe it's ok to abuse. Children learn from their parents and what they see.

Age plays a role in the effects of divorce on children. Children who are usually younger,

are affected the most due to their parental dependency and inability to understand. They usually

dont understand whats going on. Also, children of a young age usually tend to believe the

divorce is their fault. Children blame their selves and try to find ways to keep their parents

together such as a change in their behavior or doing things around the house that they believe

will keep their parents from fighting and fussing. Children at a younger age tend to feel

neglected and abandoned, they may feel like if daddy and mommy can stop loving each other

that they can stop loving them. They just assume their parents no longer them. Many children
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also dream of the fantasy of mommy and daddy. So, when their parents divorce, they assume

they will either get back together or they expect and wishes that their parents should be together.

Children who are older may have a better understanding and can usually handle the news of the

divorce much better. However, every child is different so they will react differently.

Divorce is an unpleasant situation and can become detrimental to a child. It was shown

that parental divorce can have detrimental effects on school-age children and adolescents.

(Clarke-Stewart). When it comes to children dealing with their parents divorce, they ultimately

either have to deal with self-esteem, depression, school achievement, and psychological

adjustment. Divorce increases behavioral problems within children. They began to be troubled

children and develop problems with anger, disobedience and rule violations. Divorce can affect a

child in many ways. It is also shown how children from divorced parents are more than likely to

get the divorce later in their lives. They usually have more relationships problems than someone

who parents are married. Overall, divorce could potentially be beneficial to the child or could

potentially affect the child. It all depends on many different reasons such as the child itself, the

reason for the divorce, how the parents were during the divorce and after and if they

communicated well with the child. Again, every child is different therefore, they are also affected

differently. However, parents should also consider the child well-being during the divorce rather

than theirs. They need support systems, they depend upon their mom and dad, the ones who

raised them. Therefore, if they cant be role models and love them, they wont think no one else

will. Divorce changes everything and become stress factors on children and nonetheless, parents

should take steps to reassure their children.

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Work cited

Clarke-Stewart, K. A., Vandell, D. L., McCartney, K., Owen, M. T., & Booth, C. (2000).

Effects of parental separation and divorce on very young children. Journal of Family

Psychology, 14(2), 304-326. doi:10.1037/0893-3200.14.2.304

Demo, David H., and Alan C. Acock. The Impact of Divorce on Children. Journal of

Marriage and Family, vol. 50, no. 3, 1988, pp. 619648., www.jstor.org/stable/352634.

Hodges, William F. "Chapter 2 The Response of Children to Seperation and

Divorce." Interventions for Children of Divorce Custody, Access, and Psychotherapy. New York;

Toronto: J. Wiley, 1986. 8-37. Print.

Melamed, Jim. Effects on Children. Jim Melamed, n.d. Web. 11 Apr. 2017.

Pickhardt, Carl. "The Impact of Divorce on Young Children and

Adolescents." Psychology Today. Sussex Publishers, 19 Dec. 2011. Web. 04 May 2017.

Richards, Naomi. "The Positive Effects of Divorce on Children." Divorce and Separation

Support. N.p., n.d. Web. 04 May 2017.

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