ALI DRYJA

Emotional Eating
Survival Guide

ALIDRYJA.COM
G ETTING G ROUNDED

Welcome,
sister.

I celebrate you for taking a step towards

having a more loving relationship with
food and your body.

The information in this e-book is de-

signed to equip you with powerful tools
to break free from emotional eating,
learn to eat according to the wisdom of
your wild body, and experience living in
your with more comfort, ease, and self
love.
Do I Eat Emotionally?
Take the quiz:
I try to watch what I eat, but I end up going crazy
around certain foods and find it hard to stop.

I rush through my food, like Im eating as much as I

can before another part of me wakes up to tell me to
stop eating.

I feel guilty or angry at myself after I eat.

2
What Is Emotional Eating?
Emotional eating is eating food for rea-
sons other than physical hunger.
For many people, the emotional eating cycle starts with
an intense craving, moves to satisfying that craving,
then feeling guilty about it.

This cycle can provide momentary relief from physical

or emotional discomfort.

Emotional eating can be anything from a big binge to a

small, hurried bite.

The energy of emotional eating can be characterized by

a rushed, urgent impulse to eat, even when the body is
not physically hungry.

There is an emotional association with everything we

eat, so in a way, everything is emotional eating.

However, food obsession and weight gain can arise

when we are engaging in the emotional eating cycle re-
gardless of real, physical hunger.

3
Why Did I Start Eating Emotionally In The First Place?
Emotional eating happens as a reaction to restriction.
When you try to lose weight by limiting calories or avoiding certain foods, you can set off a binge.

Sometimes simply deciding that you want to lose weight can set off a binge.

This happens because the body

is afraid it will not have enough
food (or enough of the kinds of
food it really wants), so it will
do everything it can to make
sure it gets enough, including
turning off your willpower while
you finish a box of cookies.

Binges can also serve as a way

to soften emotions that you
dont want to feel, especially
fear or stress.

Eating can help distract you

from what youre feeling and
provide a momentary sense of
pleasure, relief, and fullness.
Binges can be an attempt to pro-
tect or brace you from feelings,
situations, or a body that might
attract unwanted attention.

4
Remember that there is How Do I Stop Emotional Eating?
Follow the Intuitive Eating Plan (Page 6), which will explain

nothing wrong with you, how to:

End restrictive eating

beautiful woman. Treat yourself with kindness, no matter what size you are or
what you just ate

Learn how your body speaks to you: both physically (such as

Its perfectly normal to hunger and exhaustion), as well as emotionally (such as sad-
ness and fear)

emotionally eat. Is It Difficult?

It doesnt have to be! In fact, you may never binge again after
Most people do it! reading this. But if you get stuck, youre not alone. Here are a
few possible reasons why you might binge again:

You may be scared of gaining weight, and dont trust your-

However, if you dont like self to not eat everything in sight unless you restrict yourself

You may be scared of losing weight, and your body may not
it, it IS possible to stop. be ready to release its boundary of safety

Food is delicious!

I can show you how. Some feelings are uncomfortable, and feeling full and guilty
from eating may be easier than feeling bad

Your out of alignment with your desires, and your body is

trying to get your attention by bingeing
5
Will I Lose Weight?
When you stop emotional eating and start listening to your
hunger/satisfaction cues, you naturally lose excess weight.
This is not a diet, it is a way of eating and being with yourself
that is founded on empowerment and self-love.

I wont liesometimes healing from emotional eating may in-

clude gaining weight at first.

When you first stop restricting, its easy to go overboard on all

the foods you never let yourself have. Plus, your body may ini-
tially hold onto more weight because its not sure it will con-
tinue to be fed. This is absolutely normal and can be part of
the healing process.

If you commit to following your hunger/satisfaction cues as

well as the Empowered Eating Protocol (Page 6), any weight
that is no longer needed will ultimately disappear, and stay off
without effort or restriction.

However, you may find that you prefer to keep your weight!
This is absolutely fine, as well.

My wish is to show you how to eat with empowerment and

treat yourself with love so you can decide what food and size
feel best for you.

6
The Solution
Somewhere along the way,
women lost touch with their
wild, instinctual nature.

We forgot the power of our bodies and the

deep wisdom of our cycles.
We began to mistrust our feelings, includ-
ing our hunger and satisfaction cues.

The solution to end emotional eating in-

volves reviving the connection with our
bodies, and therefore reclaiming our
power as women and as natural beings.
THE WILD & WISE WAY

Eating With Your Bodys

Wild & Instinctual Wisdom

W E WILL COVER

1. The Wise & Wild Way

2. Practical Wise & Wild tools you can apply in
your everyday life

Ending emotional
3. Methods for
own language
hearing your body eating
speak in its

once and
4. A guide for all...
to nourishing yourself emotionally so
that food is no longer the go-to for emotional
...requires proving to your body that you wont restrict
satisfaction
it, and that youll give it what it needsboth emotion-
ally and physically.

The Wise & Wild Way outlined on the following pages

will help you reconnect with your instinctual nature
and revive trust between the body and mind, so you
can end emotional eating for good.

viii
The Wise & Wild Way
1. Wait Until Youre Hungry To Eat
2. Give Yourself What You Really Want
3. Eat SLOWLY And Sitting Down
4. Finish When Youre Pleasurably Satis-
fied, Not Painfully Stuffed
5. Feed Your Emotions With Compassion
6. If You Binge, Mother Yourself
7. Wear Clothes That Fit
8. Say No To Food, People, And Situa-
tions That dont Feel Good Or Nourish
Your Soul
9. Say Yes To The Life Your Soul Wants
To Be Living
If you feel triggered by following a plan
because it makes you feel like youre go-
ing on a diet, consider this the anti-diet.
Other diets and eating plans are based on the idea that
someone else knows better than you.
This plan is based on the idea that you know whats
best for yourself, and that your body has inherent in-
stinctual wisdom that will allow you to reach its ideal
weight naturally and without restriction.
While diet plans are based
on trying to change your-
self, this plan is based on
loving who you really are.
Physical change occurs as
a byproduct.
ix
Reflection Questions:

1.What do you feel about following a

non-restrictive eating plan that will
help you create a healthy relationship
with food based on how your body
feels?
2.Which one of the items on this list do
you feel most resistant to? Why?
3.Which are you most excited about?
Why?
4. Are you truly ready to stop emotional
eating? If yes, why? If no, why?

x
S ECTION 1
1. Wait Until Youre Hun-
gry To Eat
Practice eating when you experience
physical hunger, not emotional hunger.
Whats the difference?
Physical Hunger
For most people, physical hunger feels like a rumbling
in the belly, a hollow emptiness, a dull ache that comes
in waves of intensity: slow and subtle at first, then in-
creasingly strong until it hurts.
Most people experience physical hunger every 3-5
hours, depending on what they eat, genetics, age, physi-
cal activity, etc.
Emotional Hunger
Emotional hunger usually occurs in the mouth, not the
belly. You may notice increased saliva or an itchy, rest-
less feeling in the inside of your mouth. Also, emo-
tional hunger happens immediately and urgently, like
you must eat NOW or you will die (whereas physical
hunger takes a while to build).
I used to experience emotional hunger all day long and
snack so much I forgot what physical hunger felt like.
Wait until you feel physical hunger before you eat.
If youre not sure if youre experiencing emotional or
physical hunger, just wait. Your body will tell you soon
enough if youre physically hungry, and there will be no
doubt.
11
If you dont know what to do while Sometimes we cant help but watch the
youre waiting for hunger to come... Try: clock to countdown the minutes until we
can eat again.
Going for a walk
What do you do if youre not counting down the min-
Talking to a friend
utes till you eat again? You live your life.
Journaling
Imagine all the head-
Working space and energy that
would be available to
Exercising
you if you no longer ob-
Being in nature sessed over food. Imag-
ine living your life to
Relaxing
the fullest.
Reading
Imaging bringing your
Traveling focus away from food
and towards what
Making art youre actually doing in
Meditating / pray- this present moment.
ing Imagine going on a
date, calling a friend, or
Making love trying something new.
Imagine getting up, tak-
Dancing
ing a shower, and going
Sleeping out.
How Do I Know If Im Hungry?
On a scale from 110 of physical hunger, if 1 is fam-
ished and 10 is overstuffed, I recommend starting to
eat somewhere around 34. If you wait too long, you
are more likely to overeat.
Again, if youre not sure if youre physically hungry,
give it a few minutes. Emotional hunger is ur-
gentphysical hunger can wait a bit.
Waiting for physical hunger may feel like a long time. A
lot of people normally spend so much time thinking
about food, that the idea of waiting for hunger feels like
peering into a void. And if youre worried that you for-
got what hunger feels like, just keep waiting. It will
come sooner than you might think, and when it does, it
will be unmistakable.
Its very normal to experience lots of emotional hun-
gers and longings between physical hungers at first, as
the body starts to trust that will be fed. Remember to
be extra sweet to yourself if this happens, and practice
filling yourself up in other ways.
Remember that real life happens between meals! Plus,
there are few things more pleasurable than eating food
when youre actually hungry. Its worth the wait.
When You Do Feel Hunger, EAT
Dont try to see how long you can get away with not eat-
ing. This will only lead you to binge later on. Prove to
yourself that you wont starve yourself by eating when
your hungry.
Little by little, your body will get the hint that you are
following its cues, and it will stop leading you to binge.
Note: I recommend carrying food with you at all times
in case you get hungry. Carrying food not only helps
prevent the kind of hunger that sets you up to overeat,
it also lets you know that food is always on hand if you
need it, so you dont have to overstuff yourself at meals.
Remember that real life happens
between meals! Plus, there are
few things more pleasurable
than eating food when youre ac-
tually hungry.
Its worth the wait.
13
A Note On Blood Sugar
I want to address low blood sugar, which is characterized by lightheadedness, dizziness, or crankiness. Experiencing
these symptoms can be a sign that your blood sugar is low. Even if you dont feel a physical hunger in your belly, eat
a little bit of food to perk yourself back up, as low blood sugar can lead to a binge.

If low blood sugar episodes happen to you often, try to increase protein in your diet and cut back on coffee, alcohol,
sugar, and processed carbohydrates.

Experiment with your body and be gentle if you notice yourself feeling restricted. The key is to focus on how your
body feels, and eating foods that hurt your body restricts you from feeling good.

14
Reflection Questions:

1. What do you think would change in

your life if you only ate when youre
hungry?
2. How will you spend your time when
youre not eating, preparing food, or
thinking about what to prepare?
What projects, goals, activities, or re-
lationships will you dedicate your
free energy to?
3. This week, practice waiting until
youre hungry to eat, and notice what
hunger feels like in your body. What
are the sensations that you experience
when your body is ready to eat? How
does food taste when you eat when
youre hungry vs. when youre not?

15
S ECTION 2

2. Give Yourself What You Instead, its an invitation to

Really Want eat according to your bodys
Sometimes people think that eating signals without restricting
what their body wants means its okay to
any types of food (unless you
binge. Its not.
have a health condition).
There is more wisdom in At first, you may be more drawn to foods
your body than in your that youve previously denied yourself. This
is absolutely normal. I remember having
deepest philosophy ice cream dinners all the time at first! But
only as much as my body wanted... not the
Friedrich Nietzsche
whole pint.
Check in with what your body wants. Dont
simply open the fridge and grab the first
thing you see. Let your body tell you from
the inside what its craving.

16
Obeying your bodys cravings provide you with deeper satisfaction.
Its also the best way for your body to in-
tuitively tell you what nutrients you may
be lacking.
For example, when I started this practice, I craved a
lot of cheese and dairy, probably because I needed
more calcium or protein. I hadnt let myself enjoy
dairy because I thought it would make me fat, but
once I started to eat it when I was hungry and trust
the reasons why my body was asking for it, I felt so en-
ergized and nourishedI actually lost weight!

The best part is, when you let your body tell you what
kind of food it wants when youre hungry, you experi-
ence a kind of pleasure that is totally unparalleled.
Your food will taste better than you can imagine! This
is your body thanking you for listening and giving it
what it wanted. It feels great and strengthens the bond
between body and mind.

If youre having trouble understanding what your

body wants to eat, consult the Wise & Wild Checklist
on the following page to find out.

17
The following checklist can help you con- The Wise & Wild Checklist
nect with your bodys wisdom and in- Are you truly physically hungry?
stantly figure out what would be most sat-
If you close your eyes, can you can get a vision,
isfying, pleasurable, and beneficial to eat. taste, or feeling of what you want?
This checklist only works when youre physically hun-
Is it warm?*
gry, in the 34 range on a scale from 110.
Is it cool or cold?
If you wait too long to eat, you will be so hungry that
you wont have specific cravings and youll want to eat Do you want something crunchy?
anything!
Do you want something soft and creamy?
If youre not hungry and youre craving a specific food,
get curious as to why that food is calling to you, what it How about something green?
represents, what memories you have around it, and Do you want something heavy? Light?
how that specific craving might indicate an unmet emo-
tional need. Is it sweet?

If you go out to eat, I recommend doing this before you Is it flakey?

look at the menu, and if youre at home, do it before
Is it raw?
you open the fridge.

Consult this checklist as many times a day as you want Is it liquid?

to check in with yourself and find out what your body Other
really wants.
*Try to eat at least one warm meal a day to help you
feel nourished and loved.

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Reflection Questions:

1. Whats scary and/or exciting about

eating what you really want?
2. What foods do you really want that
youve been denying yourself?
3. What do you think might happen if
you let yourself eat them? Do you
think youd still want them as much?

19
S ECTION 3

3. Eat SLOWLY and Sitting Sit down and chew each

Down bite. Even if its inconven-
ient.
Even if it means cancelling your plans,
not answering the phone, or reserving
You, as much as anyone precious time out of your day, you de-
serve to sit down and eat like everyone
in the universe, deserve else.
your love and respect You deserve to feel good, you deserve every little ounce
of pleasure, joy, and satisfaction you can get. You are
-Buddha alive, and eating is a celebration of life! Why not priori-
tize your pleasure, even if you have to go out of your
way?

20
What I Learned

When I was emotionally eating a lot, I really struggled with going out of my way to give myself what I wanted and sit
down to enjoy it. I thought I didnt deserve to have my whims catered to. I wasnt allowed to have a reward unless I
had accomplished something. So I would deprive myself of the pleasure of food and take a practical approach to
things, rushing through my meals to get to the next task. But since I wasnt actually present for my meals, Id end up
overeating or bingeing later to try to access the pleasure and self-nurturing I was desperately seeking.

21
Create A Sacred Space
Sit down while you eat.
Do not put anything in your mouth while standing.
This includes while you prepare food. There have been
so many times when Im cooking a meal and I keep tak-
ing so many bites of all the things Im putting into it,
that by the time I sit down to eat, Im no longer hungry.
If you have to taste the food youre cooking, take small
licks or tiny bites, but no mouthfuls. Sneaking food can
lead to a lot of unexplained weight gain. Plus, how can
we really enjoy food if were not present for it?
If youre alone, prepare an eating space as you would
for a guest. Dont just plop on the couch with a pot of
mac and cheese and wooden spoon. Place your food in
a bowl or on a plate, get your favorite spoon or fork,
make a setting at your table, light a candle and give a
blessing if it feels good.
Whether alone or with other people, eat slowly. Place
your fork down between bites. Remind yourself that
you are allowed to eat.
If you find yourself speeding up, have compassion for
yourself. You are on a healing journey, and it takes
time to change old habits. Simply come back and slow
down. Remind yourself that you are ALWAYS allowed
to eat whatever you want when youre hungry, so
theres no need to rush.
If youre finishing a meal and realized you rushed
through the whole thing, you can still chew the last bite
slowly or set the intention to slow down at your next
meal.
If you eat lunch at your desk at work, turn off your com-
puter while you eat. If you can, sit somewhere else.
Nourishing your body is far more important than what
your boss or co-workers think of you.
Minimize distractions while you eat. You may listen to
music, but avoid reading, watching TV, crying, or hav-
ing stressful conversations while you eat. Simply sit
and eat. If youre eating with other people, be mindful
of how the conversation is affecting you. When we eat,
we consume more than just our foodwe also consume
our environment. So choose a pleasant environment
without distractions and enjoy your food.
22
What comes up for you around eating without TV or reading? Does it sound boring?
Lonely? Try it out and see what happens.

For me, eating without distractions and actually focusing on my food was one of the most difficult and important
steps in overcoming emotional eating. If I absentmindedly watched TV while eating a bowl of soup, Id want to keep
eating after I finished (even though I was full) because I wasnt actually there for the soup and felt cheated on the ex-
perience of eating.

When we focus on our food and are actually there for the experience, we can receive the full pleasure of whatever
were eating. Plus, we are far more aware of when we are satisfied, so we end up eating less.

23
Save yourself the binge and go out of
your way to be present while you eat and
and enjoy your food.
The more present you are for your food, the more
likely you will be to recognize when youre no longer
hungry.

Plus, youll also have more access to whether or not

you actually like what youre eating.

And the best part is, going out of your

way to pay attention to your food tells
your body that you are worth the time
and effort, and that you deserve to feel
good. This not only feels awesome, but it
also sets the standard for how others
treat you!

Treat yourself the way

you want others to treat
you. -unknown
24
Reflection Questions:

1. What comes up for you around pay-

ing attention to your food? What
sounds scary? What sounds exciting?
2. Whats your favorite thing to do while
you eat, and how might it be interfer-
ing from you fully enjoying your
food?
3. What music will you listen to next
time you eat alone? How will you set
your sacred space?

25
S ECTION 4

4. Finish When Youre

Pleasurably Satisfied, Not
Painfully Stuffed
This doesnt mean you cant feel full
again. But do you really want to feel
full to the point of pain?

Instead of stuffed, lets focused on satisfied. Lets

aim to have you leaving each meal feeling light, com-
fortable, energized, and ready for life.

Nourishing your body is

an act of self love that you
deserve. - Ali Dryja

26

The key to knowing when
your body is satisfied is to
only start eating when
youre physically hungry.
If you start eating without waiting for
your body to tell you to start, you wont
receive any cues from you body about
when to stop.
The only way youll know if youre satisfied is if you
slow down enough to feel your bodys signals. Put your
fork down between bites, sit back, relax, and chew.
Take your time and remember that you are always al-
lowed to eat whatever you want when youre hungry.
Theres no need to rush.
How Will I Know When To Stop?
If youve started eating around 3-4 on a scale from 1-
10, I recommend finishing around 7-8. You want to be
satisfied, nourished, and energized (not stuffed, slug-
gish, and bloated).
Some foods may only take 3 bites to get you to 7-8,
other foods may take you 20 bites. Let yourself be sur-
prised by the actual amount of food your body re-
quires... and be open it being less than you think.
If youve had a few bites of your meal and you get the
signal that youre satisfied, make a movement or ges-
ture that communicates youre done. I like to push my
plate away a little bit, place my napkin on the table,
lean back in my chair, or take a deep breath and put my
hand on my belly. Make some gesture as an anchor for
you to signify youre finished eating, even if the food is
still in front of you.
If you get the signal from your body that youre satis-
fied, but you still want to eat food, take a breath, place
your hand on your belly, and connect with what you
really need. Or, simply remove the food from your area
(even if it means calling a waiter over to take it away
while other people at the table continue their meal).
27
Practice discovering what
satisfaction feels like in
your body. Make it a game
at every meal.
If you grew up in a family like mine, you might feel
guilty about throwing away leftover food once youve
had enough. I invite you to practice leaving a bite or
two on your plate, and noticing what comes up. Ask
yourself whats more important: not wasting food or
carrying extra weight on your body?

You can also create a leftovers plan. I usually plan to

take a doggy bag home, give the rest of my meal to who-
ever Im eating with, put the rest in my fridge to eat for
later, etc. I sometimes like carrying around a small Tup-
perware container in case I am out and dont want pres-
sure to finish something.

If you have a hard time knowing when to stop, remem-

ber to go slowly and be gentle with yourself. Also re-
member that if you dont stuff yourself, youll experi-
ence hunger much sooner and get to eat something
else.
28
Reflection Questions:

1. What do you think satisfaction might

feel like in your body?
2. What are the ways I hold myself back
from experiencing satisfaction in my
everyday life?
3. Are there any experiences from my
past that taught me satisfaction or
feeling good was bad, wrong, shame-
ful or not allowed?
4. What am I scared might happen if I
trust my body to tell me when its
done eating?

29
S ECTION 5

5. Feed Your Emotions

With Compassion

Wanting to eat when youre not physi-

cally hungry can mean you need emo-
tional satisfaction.
Welcome the part of you that wants to
eat when youre not hungry, as its here
to let you know that you need something.
This part of you is your ally, your access
point to finding out how to truly satisfy
yourself.

30
Congratulate yourself for noticing that
you want to eat even though youre not
hungry. This is a huge step.
Then take a breath, place your hand on your belly, have
compassion for the part of you that wants to eat, and
ask yourself what you need.
Consult the Universal Human Needs list on the follow-
ing page. Then do what you can to satisfy your needs.
Maybe you need to slow down and rest. Maybe you
need a hug. Maybe a challenge... whatever you need, do
your best to give it to yourself, or let yourself sweetly
know that youll be taking care of that need as soon as
possible.
If you still want to eat after checking in with yourself,
slow down and get curious with the sensations in your
body. Where does the desire to eat live in your body?
What does it want for you? How else can you give that
to yourself besides food?
Approaching the sensations of your body with curiosity
and compassion will give you access to their messages.
Emotions are information, and they arrive because
they have something they want you to know. Some-
times all they need is to be heard.
Not turning to food when youre experiencing intense
emotions can be scary at first. When I stopped using
food, it felt like my emotions were too big for my body
and I needed food to help soften the intensity of what I
felt. The sweeter and more compassionate I was to my
emotions, and the more I listened to what they had to
say, the less I resisted them, and the milder they got.
They were no longer screaming at me to get my atten-
tion, like a child throwing a tantrum.
My body now trusts that I will pay attention to my emo-
tions if they have something to say, so they come in
healthy waves and at times that make far more sense
than before. Plus, my body now knows that food is not
the answer to making me feel better emotionally, so I
am less inclined to binge when Im upset.
Life might feel scary at first when you open yourself to
feeling what you normally manage with food. But mak-
ing space for what scares you also makes space for
more joy, love, and pleasure! And it puts you in touch
with the part of you that is bigger than your emo-
tionsthe part of you that is making space for them.
The more you practice paying attention to your needs,
allowing space for your emotions, and having compas-
sion for yourself, the less your subconscious will look to
food as a way to give you what it thinks you need.
31
Universal Human Needs
HONESTY MEANING
CONNECTION authenticity aliveness
acceptance integrity awareness
affection presence awe
appreciation transparency celebration of life
belonging PLAY challenge
communication adventure clarity
community fun competence
companionship humor consciousness
compassion joy creativity
consideration laughter discovery
emotional safety spontaneity growth
empathy PHYSICAL WELL-BEING hope
familiarity air /food/water/shelter learning
intimacy comfort mourning
love movement/exercise mystery
partnership protection participation
respect rest/sleep purpose
security relaxation self-expression
self-worth sexual expression stimulation
sensitivity safety to matter
stability touch wonder
support AUTONOMY PEACE
to know/be known choice beauty
to see/be seen confidence harmony
to understand freedom ease
to be understood independence equality
trust privacy inspiration
warmth space spiritual communion

By Coco Rosenblatt-Farrell 32
S ECTION 6

6. If You Binge, Mother Bingeing is nothing to be

Yourself ashamed about.
It happens to many of us, and its a clear
sign that we are suffering and need some
help.
The most effective way to get help is to learn how to
mother ourselves.
A binge is a sign that you This includes tending, soothing, caring, and nurturing
need love and attention. ourselves, the way we wish a mother would.

Perhaps we didnt have the ideal mother growing up, or

- Ali Dryja maybe we did. It doesnt matter. You can now mother
yourself in whatever way you wish.

Next time you binge, I invite you to offer yourself the

same kindness and sweetness you would to a beloved
child or pet animal.

33
 Give Yourself The Sweetness You Need

Place your hand on your belly or heart, give yourself a hug, draw yourself a bath, or sing yourself a song.

Many of our mothers tried to ease our pain with candy, ice cream, or other sweet treats.

Sweetness cures so many things.

Its time we learn to be sweet to ourselves in ways beyond food.

Its time we fill our lives with so much sweetness, cookies will no longer be appealing.

34
Other ways to sweeten your life: If you want to binge, put
Write yourself love notes

Fill your room with flowers

whatever you want to
Play sweet-sounding music binge on a plate or in a
Sit in the sun bowl and sit down to enjoy
Surround yourself with uplifting art, colors, textures, cush-
ions, lights, and designs it.
Surround yourself with people who are kind to you

Use essential oils or other deliciously smelling treats

In this way, you will be pre-
throughout your day
sent for your experience,
Drink water with lemon or berries in it

Wear clothes that feel soft and comfortable against your skin
which will give you more
Buy soaps that smell delightful insight into whats really
Make yourself some tea
going on, and whether or
Go for a walk in nature

Spend time with animals or children

not you really want to be
Smile bingeing at all.
Dance

35
Reflection Questions:

1. What did your mother teach you

about food? How does she relate to
food? How did she show you sweet-
ness growing up?
2. What does your own inner mother
look like, sound like, act like? How
does she offer sweetness to you in
ways beyond food? If it helps, draw a
picture of this aspect of yourself and
give her a name.

36
S ECTION 7
7. Wear Clothes That Fit
Part of Mothering yourself,
being sweet to yourself,
and living according to
your bodys wild wisdom is as it is now, the more likely you are to
wearing loose, comfortable
clothes that allow you to
FEEL.
Its time to get rid of those
jeans that youll someday
fit into.
Keeping clothes that are too small is an-
other way of resisting your current body,
which perpetuates the internal war that
leads to bingeing.
The more resistant you are to your body
treat it badly, which includes eating to
the point of pain.
37
 This isnt giving up.

And this doesnt mean youll suddenly explode. This simply means youre no longer taking the self-hate approach. It means youre
no longer using dominance, fear, or inner bullying to motivate yourself.

It means youre going to take the risk to trust yourself. To believe that your instinctual body wisdom will prevail. To believe that
your ancestors and their bodies held innate intelligence, and that it is no longer appropriate to disrespect them and your current
body by forcing it into clothes that no longer fit.

The more comfortable you are in your clothes, the more likely you are to want to stay comfortable throughout the day, including af-
ter you eat. That means less bingeing, less food that makes you feel sick, and more food, people, situations, and experiences that
feel good.

Plus, the more the body feels allowed to be as it is, the less likely it is to rebel with food. Give your body permission to be here, as it
is, and it will reward you greatly.

38
Reflection Questions:

1. Go to your closet and clear out all the

clothes you KNOW no longer fit or
serve you. Throw them out or give
them away. How does it feel? What
comes up for you?
2. Write a letter from your body to you
about how it wants to feel on a daily
basis and what kinds of clothes would
help it feel that way.

39
S ECTION 8

8. Say No To Food, People, Many times the body uses

And Situations That Dont weight or food as a way to
Feel Good Or Nourish Your protect us from what we
Soul
dont want.
If we are not accustomed to saying No in
our lives when it comes to social events,
Its only by saying no work, or anything else we dont want to
that you can concentrate do, sometimes our bodies will help us say
No by bingeing or gaining weight.
on the things that are
really important.
- Steve Jobs

40
How we do anything is how
we do most things.
If we dont say No to things that dont nourish us in our
everyday life, then we probably wont say No to cook-
ies, ice cream, and other foods that dont provide true
nourishment to our bodies.
In many ways, healing from emotional
eating is really about learning to trust our
instincts and give ourselves permission
to have preferences and opinions.
Its about giving ourselves permission to live our lives
how we want, regardless of whether or not it pleases
others.

Learn how to say No, without explana- And its about protecting ourselves from harmful situa-
tion. tions, food, and people so our bodies dont have to do it
for us.
You do NOT need to make excuses or have a conversa-
tion if you dont want sex. Even if you are midway
through the act.

You do NOT need to explain yourself if you dont

want to go to a party.

You do NOT need an excuse for not being hungry if

youre out to dinner.

You are ALLOWED to use your Sacred No, even if its

inconvenient. Even if its inappropriate.

41
Reflection Questions:

1. What are you currently saying Yes to

in your life that you know you need to
say No to in order to stop using food
as a way to hide?
2. In what ways do food and/or weight
protect you?
3. What are you scared might happen if
you let go of emotional eating? How
might you need to start protecting
yourself?
4. What boundary do you know you
need to set? When will you set it?
5. Why did you ever stop saying No?
Are you ready to start again?

42
S ECTION 9

9. Say Yes To The Life Your

Soul Wants To Be Living

What you seek is seeking

you.
- Rumi

43
What kind of life do you
wish you were living?
Whats stopping you from
living it?
When we are out of alignment with our souls desires, we are
highly likely to use coping mechanisms, such as emotional eat-
ing.
It makes perfect senseif were not happy, were going to do
whatever we can to feel good, even for a moment. This could
include food, sex, shopping, drugs, alcohol, sleep, TV, any-
thing. It doesnt matter what it is, its the energy behind our
actions is one of escape.
Escape and compulsion are usually signs that something is off
in your life. That youre not living according to your souls true
desires.
I like to see emotional eating as one of my greatest teachers.
Emotional eating always let me know when Id fallen off my
souls path.
Sometimes we hold ourselves back from
doing what we really want to do cause
were scared.
Life can be scary. Especially when its inviting us to do some-
thing very different from what weve been doing for a long
time.
We have a choice to face the discomfort of staying where we
are or face the discomfort of growing. At least when we ven-
ture into the unknown, we have a chance of happiness.
We dont have to do it alone. There are people (like me), who
specialize in guiding people step-by-step towards living the
life they really want so they no longer have to use food as a
way to stall.
The day came when the
risk to remain tight in a
bud was more painful than
the risk it took to blossom.
- Anas Nin
44
Reflection Questions:

1. Deep down, what do you really want?

Where do you want to live? What do
you want to do? Who do you want to
be with? How do you want your life
to look?
2. What did you love doing as a child
that you no longer do?
3. What sets your heart free?
4. What makes you want to sing and
dance?

45
Conclusion
You made it, sister!
And in some ways, the journey may be just
beginning.

Please have patience with yourself as you

put these tools into practice.

Youre setting yourself for lasting change,

which can take a while. If youre looking to
jumpstart your progress, contact me about
my coaching programs.
Thank you
I hope you enjoyed reading this guide and are excited to use some of these tools in your
own life. I enjoyed putting it together, and I am always looking for ways to improve my
work.
If you have a moment, please let me know what you liked about this guide or if it could
use any improvements. You can message me at ali@alidryja.com. I look forward to
hearing from you!

If you get stuck

Remember you are not alone. Call a friend, call on your inner mother, or contact me at
ali@alidryja.com.
I am passionate about helping women heal their relationship with food and their bod-
ies, so dont be afraid to send me a message.
Chances are, Ive been where you are.

xlvii
About Me
Hi, Im Ali. I coach 1:1 and lead groups
for women to help connect them to the
wisdom of their bodies so they can
overcome emotional eating and nega-
tive body image. I guide women in let-
ting go of restriction-mentality and I
teach them how to eat according to
their inner wild wisdom. I believe that
when women listen to their bodies,
they not only release excess weight, but
also gain access to their innate intui-
tive powers and inner truth.

I lead workshops and online programs,

write articles for publications like
Mind Body Green and Elephant Jour-
nal, and also contribute to my own
blog on my website, allidryja.com.

If youre ready to release emotional eat-

ing and begin living the life you desire,
schedule a complimentary session via
my website, alidryja.com, and check
out my events page to learn more
about upcoming offerings:
alidryja.com/events.

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