Beruflich Dokumente
Kultur Dokumente
Kaley J. Gillis
Hi, my name is Olivia and I want to tell you about my life. I turned eighteen recently and am
going to be graduating high school soon and I wanted to reflect on my eighteen years of life. I would first
like to talk about my parents. They were both born and raised in Salt Lake City, Utah, from Caucasian
families, and both had an average socioeconomic status growing up. They were in high school when I
was naturally conceived on accident. I was not a planned pregnancy and I provided a slight bump in the
road for these young seventeen-year-old seniors. I was conceived in about January of their graduating
year so finishing up school was easy for them because they did not need to worry about child care yet.
My father moved into my grandmothers house to be with my mother and they finished up school
and worked their part-time jobs. My mom worked part-time at Kohls as a sales associate and my father
worked part-time at Walmart also as a sales associate. My mother and grandmother both got super upset
with my dad while he was working there because he would borrow cigarettes off his work buddies and
became a pretty avid smoker. They both thought that was very bad for me as a fetus, as my mother was
very healthy and was trying to have a healthy pregnancy; going to all her check-ups, taking all her pre-
natal vitamins and even doing light exercise and yoga. My father resulted in keeping his nasty, lingering
Life got super crazy when my mother went in for an ultrasound and found out she was pregnant
with twins! My mother was also a twin herself so she suspected that twins could be a possibility but
never thought it would happen. Because genes endure lifelong, if a woman has one set of twins, she is
more likely to have another set (Painter et al., 2010). Her daughters also have a 50/50 chance of
inheriting her twin-producing X, and hence they are likely to have twins themselves (Berger, 2016, Ch 2,
pg 55). The doctor told her that we were healthy and if she keeps up her healthy regimen it should be a
great birth. He revealed to my mother that she was pregnant with dizygotic twins which are twins who
are formed when two separate ova are fertilized by two separate sperm at roughly the same time (Berger,
2016, Ch 2, pg 55). Later, he would also inform her that she was having one boy and one girl.
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As graduation grew closer my grandmother informed my parents that once they graduated high
school they would need to find their own place and start getting ready for the babies. She told them she
would be willing to help as much as she can with child care but she wanted them to have their own place.
Because my parents now had to move out on their own the bills piled up and affording things was very
hard. This is the reason why I grew up with a low socioeconomic status which is a persons position in
society as determined by income, occupation, education, and place of residence (Berger, 2016, ch 1, pg
14). The advantage I had with my parents was that they were both going to be high school graduates,
but my mother wanted to be a stay-at-home mom for a while making my father the primary earner and
My parents had been graduated for a couple months when it was finally time to deliver my
brother and I into the world. It was the end of October nearing Halloween so the hospital halls had an
eerie feel to them which did not comfort my mother. She vaginally delivered me first with no
complications and knew immediately she wanted to call me Olivia. When it came time to deliver my
brother, things did not go as planned. It was as if the Halloween halls had cursed my brothers birth. He
was stuck in the birth canal with his umbilical cord wrapped tightly around his neck. The doctor said it
was wrapped two times around and he worked diligently to get it off his neck. If they had noticed it was
wrapped sooner they would have performed an emergency C-section, but my brothers head was already
out when they saw the cords death grip. Snips of scissors and clamps later, the doctor delivered my non-
crying brother. They immediately started trying to get a cry out him but he was unresponsive and the
CPR they performed to save his life failed. My parents named him Ben and while cradling my dead
brother and I, the doctor informed them he died due to anoxia. Anoxia is a lack of oxygen that, if
prolonged, can cause brain damage or death (Berger, 2016, ch 2, pg 75). This was heartbreaking to my
parents and my mother made avid efforts to see a psychologist to avoid post-partum depression.
While trying to cope with Bens death was very hard for both my mother and father, my mother
said she loved watching me grow. As a newborn, she said I would just stare at everything and suck on
everything which she said was great for when she was breastfeeding me. This stage is a normal stage that
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babies go through with sensorimotor intelligence. During the first stage, in the first month, infants adapt
their sucking reflex to bottles or breasts, pacifiers or fingers, each requiring specific types of tongue
pushing (Berger, 2016, ch 3, pg 113). She said I was a happy baby who loved watching people and
playing with toys. She loved being a stay-at-home mom with me but as I kept growing and getting more
expensive she realized she would have to return to work part-time. My father had started working full-
time after graduating high school so part-time work for my mother was going to be fair for financial
reasons and for time she still wanted to spend with me.
When mom decided to start work she resorted to asking my grandmother to watch me while she
worked. I already had a secure attachment with my grandmother which is a relationship in which an
infant obtains both comfort and confidence from the presence of his or her caregiver (Berger, 2016, ch 4,
pg 140). I see my grandmother very often so I did not need to become close with a stranger and worry
that my mother was not coming back. Being a little bit older though, eighteen months, I had a classic
Infants greet their primary caregivers, play happily when they are present, show
separation anxiety when their primary caregivers leave. Both infant and caregiver seek to
be close to each other (proximity) and frequently look at each other (contact). In many
2016, ch 4, pg 139).
As I got older and was learning more things and becoming more interested in playing
with other kids, my mother decided to put me in Montessori, a child centered program. Many
programs are called child-centered, or developmental, because they stress each childs
development and growth (Berger, 2016, ch 5, pg 189). She wanted me to interact with other
children and explore things on my own and this was the perfect program for me. The probable
eventually motivate children to learn to read, calculate, and so on (Berger, 2016, ch 5, pg 190).
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My mother was really looking out for me because I did have a lot of motivation in my school
years.
Through Montessori three times a week I met my best friend, McKayla, and we loved to
engage in active play. We mainly liked sociodramatic play, in which children act out various
roles and plots (Berger, 2016, ch 6, pg 208). We played a lot of pretend and played various
roles of people we saw every day like police officers, mothers, cashiers, teachers, etc. and we
each gave new ideas as to how we wanted the game to pan out. I had the best time with her!
One day while playing with McKayla at her house I had a very scary moment where I
could not breathe. I had never experienced this before and I was very scared and so was
McKayla and her mom. I was rushed by ambulance to the hospital where I met my mother,
father, and grandmother. The EMTs put me on oxygen and helped me calm down and breath
before arriving. It was at this moment when the doctor diagnosed me with Asthma that my dad
airways from the nose and mouth to the lungs, causing difficulty in breathing.
Signs and symptoms include wheezing, shortness of breath, chest tightness, and
He knew it was bad for him but he did not know it was having such an impact on his
daughters life. There had been moments in my childhood where I had shortness of breath but it
had never been this severe so he never even thought about it. Everyone was surprised that I had
not been diagnosed earlier though. I was given an inhaler and my father quit smoking cold
turkey and this tremendously helped prevent me from suffering more asthma attacks.
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I never knew or understood how important family was or how it influenced my life until
McKayla went through some very hard times. Her parents divorced and her father moved away
and she was soon going to be moving too. Her moving away was very hard for me because I
was going to lose my friend, but she was going to lose her harmony and stability. The final
item on the list above is especially crucial in middle childhood: Children cherish safety and
stability; they do not like change (Turner et al., 2012) (Berger, 2016, ch 8, pg 290). Children
who move frequently may be harmed, academically and psychologically (Cutuli et al., 2013)
(Berger, 2016, ch 8, pg 290). I was going to keep in touch with her but I was a bit worried
about her.
I was lucky with my family structure. I had a nuclear family which is a family that
consists of a father, a mother, and their biological children under age 18 (Berger, 2016, ch 8, pg
291). My parents never married and never had any other children besides me, but our structure
was still great. I saw my grandmother regularly still and whenever my father was not around,
my mother was. I always had someone to turn to and I loved the support and encouragement I
got. Because of their encouragement and support, I adopted the incremental theory of
intelligence (i.e., that intelligence can increase if they work to master whatever they seek to
understand), then they will pay attention, participate in class, study, complete their homework,
and learn (Berger, 2016, ch 9, pg 343). I was very studious in school and cared a lot about my
grades and always had someone at home to help me if I had any questions or frustrations.
My sophomore year in high school was very hard. Already, as a girl, I was really trying
to seem attractive and fit in with everyone else and did not feel like I was enough. My father
loved me very much and this helped me gain more confidence, but in February of my sophomore
year the worst thing happened to my family. We got a call that my grandmother had died. She
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had a stroke. It was so random because she was not that old and we were all so confused. I was
devastated. I had spent my whole life with my grandma while my parents worked. She was a
I am not sure if I wanted to have some control in my life after that or if I just had an
unhealthy reaction to this horrible news, but I developed an eating disorder. It started out as
anorexia nervosa, but as hunger kicked in, it quickly turned to bulimia nervosa which is an
eating disorder characterized by binge eating and subsequent purging, usually by induced
vomiting and/or use of laxatives (Berger, 2016, ch 9, pg 325). I knew it was not good for me
and I hated doing it but I was just so sad about my grandmother and this was the only way I
knew helped me cope. It also made me feel better as I felt I could eat anything and I was not
It wasnt until a year later during my junior year when my mother noticed what I was
doing. We had been to lunch together and she noticed I left to the bathroom and was gone for a
very long time with the water running. She came to check on me and heard me vomiting. She
addressed it with me and after a week of convincing her she was wrong, I finally admitted it.
She got me to see a therapist and to an eating disorder clinic to work on healthier habits for me
and to get in a group with other girls like me. It was the best thing for me. I overcame my eating
It is a year later, getting very close to graduation and I am happier and healthier than ever.
I still miss my grandmother so much but I know she is watching over me and she is proud of me.
I am going to be going to college soon and I know she would be so excited for me. My past
eighteen years have been great and even though I dont have a rich family and my parents did not
Going off to college was a major turning point for me. As I met new people, took new
classes, and participated in debates it was very evident that who I was as a person reflected my
parents. I had not yet formed an identity myself. This was my time to be in moratorium which is
a socially acceptable way to postpone achievement (Berger, 2016, ch 10, pg 352). I knew I
was going to be exposed to a lot of different people and pathways that could help contribute to
my identity formation.
I met lots of people in my dorm and made a lot of friends who really liked partying.
Partying had never really been my scene but it had apparently been a major part of theirs and
they always invited me to parties and really wanted me to drink with them. I was the only one in
my new group of friends who had never tried alcohol or experimented with drugs. I was
experiencing a lot of peer pressure which is when people of the same age group encourage
particular behavior, dress, and attitude (Berger, 2016, ch 10, pg 360). I finally gave into the
peer pressure and went to a party with them and started participating in drinking and drug use. I
cannot deny that it was fun to feel not like myself but it created some long-term problems for me.
At the time, I did not know I had a problem, but now that I am older I realize that I did. Few
adolescents notice when they or their friends move past use (experimenting) to abuse
(experiencing harm) and then to addiction (needing the drug to avoid feeling nervous, anxious,
sick, or in pain) (Berger, 2016, ch 10, pg 379). It started out with Adderall to help me feel more
focused while doing homework and eventually progressed to buying a variety of prescription
drugs from people with all kinds of diagnoses. Attention disorders all the way to pain
(Berger, 2016, ch 11, pg 397). From the time I started college until my senior year of college I
was abusing prescription drugs. I thought it was helping me because I was getting the results I
wanted with my school work but it was doing detrimental things to my body and my social life.
Drug abuse is more frequent among college students than among emerging adults who are not
in college, partly because groups of emerging adults urge each other on (Berger, 2016, ch 11, pg
397). I was approached by a fellow student and a coworker during my senior year of college
who mentioned in a friendly and caring way that I may have a problem and they actually helped
me realized my dependence on drugs was dangerous. I got help through a rehab and the support
of my two new friends and my parents. My mother had mentioned during my recovery that she
wished had been more of a helicopter parent because she feels she could have noticed and
stopped my addiction earlier on. A helicopter parent is the label used for parents who hover
(like a helicopter) over their emerging adult children (Berger, 2016, ch 11, pg 417). I told her
not to think like that and it was not her fault. I honestly dont think it would have made a
difference. I think things would have turned out the same or even worse had she been involved
Through my rehab, I met Justin who had a similar experience as me and we supported
and helped each other through recovery and remained friends after we left rehab. When we were
both one year sober from prescription drugs we had a celebration with some close friends and
family with a lot of cake and junk food and friendly conversation. This led to a little bit of
interest in each other. We hooked up that night. A hookup is a sexual encounter between two
people who are not in a romantic relationship. Neither intimacy nor commitment is expected
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(Berger, 2016, ch 11, pg 421). At the time, it did not mean much, but it led to us dating, and
eventually marrying.
With us both being newlyweds and approaching three years of sobriety, we found that
exercising together was a way for us to relieve stress and remain healthy without turning to
drugs. Exercise reduces blood pressure, strengthens the heart and lungs, and makes depression,
osteoporosis, heart disease, arthritis, and some cancers less likely. Moreover, active people
feel energetic, which increases other good habits (Berger, 2016, ch 12, pg 429). We were both
happy with the way we looked as we got older and we were very happy with our new healthy
habit. We were also very happy together and felt we were ready to start a family together.
Unfortunately, we had a very hard time getting pregnant and after a year and a half of
trying, the doctor told me that I was infertile. We decided to look at our different options and
decided adoption would work for us. We lived near a family that had a pregnant fifteen-year-old
daughter, Alissa, who was looking to give up her unborn child. She was five months away from
giving birth and she was willing to let us adopt her child. We were good friends with Alissas
parents and she explained to us that she would still like to be involved in the childs life and
would prefer if we would allow an open adoption. The easiest form of nonbiological parenting
may be the adoptive parent, who is legally connected to the child for life. Current adoptions
are usually open, which means that the biological parents decided that someone else would be
a better parent, but they still want some connection to the child (Berger, 2016, ch 13, pg 482).
We were perfectly okay with that because we really wanted a child and we loved Alissa and her
Justin had been at his job for two years when we decided to adopt Alissas unborn baby
and had only been focused on the intrinsic rewards of work which is the personal gratifications,
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such as pleasure in a job well done or friendship with coworkers, that accompany employment
(Berger, 2016, ch 13, pg 489), which was fine because we only had each other to worry about
and we were both doing great at our jobs. Now that we had a baby coming five months from
now we both had to think about buying things for the baby and childcare while we work so we
both had to start looking at the extrinsic rewards of work which is the tangible benefits, usually
in salary, insurance, pension, and status, that come with employment (Berger, 2016, ch 13, pg
489).
Five months later Alissa gave birth to our beautiful daughter that we named Desirae. She
was the sweetest little thing and it was very hard for Alissa to give her to us, but we assured her
that she could come see Desirae as much as she wants but if she really wanted to keep her, we
would not hold any resentment towards her. She ended up giving us the parental rights and she
visited Desirae often. She became known as Aunt Alissa and she has a great relationship with
Desirae. Desirae knows that she is her birth mother and she does understand the whole
As Justin and I grew older and Desirae moved onto college and eventually having a
family of her own, I noticed that Justin seemed to be forgetting a lot of recent events. It started
with him not remembering how to get home after we had just been visiting our grandchildren at
Desiraes home and it started to get more serious from there. He started to get really confused
and started experiencing memory loss which was very hard for me and Desirae to watch. The
doctors suspected that he was displaying symptoms of Alzheimers disease. He had family
history of Alzheimers disease and his symptoms matched closely with this disease. Alzheimers
disease is characterized by gradual deterioration of memory and personality and marked by the
formation of plaques of beta-amyloid protein and tangles of tau in the brain (Berger, 2016, ch 14,
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pg 527). This is what the doctors were suspecting but a diagnosis would not be definitive until
an autopsy was performed on his brain which could not be done until he died. I watched my
husband deteriorate and I watched him forget all our memories together and eventually forget his
It was very hard for me when Justin died but it was also a relief that he had passed on to a
better place and was now his best self wherever he was. That was very comforting for me to
think about. Of course, I was still aging and becoming very frail. Frail elderly are older adults
who are severely impaired, usually unable to care for themselves (Berger, 2016, ch 15, pg 561).
Desirae was well off with her job as well as her husbands job that she decided to have me move
into her home rather than a long-term care center. She wanted me to be cared for somewhere
familiar and surrounded by my loved ones. A home-care nurse was hired for me and I moved
into Desiraes basement where I was regularly visited by her, my grandchildren, and a few great-
grandchildren. The nurse cared for me with my medications as well as my activities of daily life
typically identified as five tasks of self-care: eating, bathing, toileting, dressing, and transferring
Berger, K. S. Invitation to the Life Span. 3rd ed. New York, NY: Worth, 2016. Print.