Fowler 1

William S. Fowler

UWRT 1102

Professor Leah Huizar

March 13th, 2017

EIP DRAFT

As water flows over the rocks and pools into eddies, a fly-fisherman casts his line

through the air and gently sets it down on the water, waiting for a strike. He looks at his

surroundings, noticing the lush forest, the fresh air, and trash floating down the stream. It is all

too common to see this type of habitat disruption in streams across the state causing detriment to

the fish, and an unpleasant experience for the angler. Despite Fly-Fishings laid back and

relaxing nature there are some topics and ideals that spark debate; conservation of the species

and the habitat being at the forefront of the discussion. The outdoors are a wonderful place, as

humans, we need to preserve all natural spaces, private or public.

The streams and rivers that fly anglers frequent are slowly but surely becoming polluted

and unfishable. This has sparked a massive debate in the community; private versus public

water. The idea behind private water is that anglers will pay for access and treat the waters with

respect since they are paying a premium. Other anglers believe they should have access to all

waters and think that the private waters are exclusive and not conducive from a conservation

point of view. Jack Montague has been a guide in North Carolina for over 30 years and believes

firmly in the privatization of waterways. He has seen waterways shut down for fishing due to

litter and pollution, killing the fish and creating a toxic drinking source for other wildlife.
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There lies much debate in the fly-fishing community over conservation methods and

practices. There are two sides to the debate; those who are in favor of privatization of streams,

and those who are in favor of maintaining accessibility to public waters. The privatization of

streams has been proven to help with species and environmental conservation. The idea behind

private water is that since anglers are paying a premium to access the water, they will be more

inclined to take care of it and respect it. This method has been proven time and time again to

work. Privatization has achieved success in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina. The

streams as well as the surrounding area are pristine. As a result of the clean environment, there

are more fish, and they are very healthy, specifically in the French Broad River in Western North

Carolina.

Despite private waters being excellent places to fish, there are some anglers who fight

against privatization. These public waters span miles of rivers and streams, lending plenty of

opportunity for anglers to catch fish. Although the fish are abundant after stocking of the

streams, the population quickly dwindles as the fish are caught and not released. Regulation of

catch and cook is very difficult for Fish and Wildlife services to monitor due to the remote

locations of some of the streams. It is well known that people poach and mistreat the fish due to

lack of enforcement and knowledge. It is here that the debate lies, public water anglers want

access to better, cleaner streams, but do not want to pay the steep fees and premiums for access

to private water.

In order to combat the mistreatment of public water, conservation groups have banded

together to clean the streams and educate the public on proper technique and practices. One of

the most popular practices is the Pack it in, pack it out motto. The idea is that you must leave
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with everything you brought. It has been very successful in keeping trash out of the streams and

riverbanks.

The privatization of natural places has stirred up controversy in outdoorsman and

political conversations. Many believe that public land and rivers should stay public, the way

Theodore Roosevelt intended. The national parks that Roosevelt set up still exist today. The

reason they exist still is because of strong legislature and the fact that they are beautiful, scenic

places where people enjoy spending time. Land ownership in the United States separates the

U.S. from other nations, we were one of the only developing countries to give away land in

order to encourage expansion westward. Those who moved out and made improvements to the

land, owned it; giving rise to some of the first privatization. Later down the road, legislature was

passed declaring the land public, protected land. Many landowners felt cheated when taxes were

raised and changes were made to the land that had been given to their families generations prior.

The people who were told they could remain on their land but the government now

owned it were some of the first citizens to spark the Public Vs. Private land debate. Despite not

owning their land anymore, they still cared deeply about the places they lived, giving rise to

Fundamental Conservationists; people who wanted to see the land preserved regardless of

ownership. Many of these people were some of the first members of the Forest and Parks

Service, dedicating their time and energy to protect and preserve the land they loved.

Jumping ahead to modern times, there has been a shift in the fundamental thinking of

governments and states. The Federal government has handed most of the land to the State

government and an interesting dynamic has occurred. Individual states now collectively own

more total land than the Federal government. In some places for example, the mountains of
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North Carolina have been preserved and massive swaths of land remain undisturbed, existing as

they did for thousands of years. In the middle of the country, specifically those states known for

en masse production of agriculture, there has been a shift, once vast spaces have been

over-farmed and wiped of trees for thousands of square miles. This happened for two reasons;

one, the demand for food outgrew the supply, and two, state governments became greedy, selling

the land to farmers who were receiving State funded subsidiaries for growing most of the nation's

food.

In order to fully understand the consequences, we need not look further than the Dust

Bowl that happened in 1930s and continued into the 40s and 50s. The state governments were

not monitoring farming practices and it led to soil toxicity and one of the worst economic times

in modern American history. This is a prime example of where privatization of land went

wrong, leading to famine and economic downturn.

It is my belief, based off of research and firsthand accounts, that the privatization of land

can and does work in certain situations. When land is privatized on a smaller scale, such as in

the case of stretches of rivers and streams in Western North Carolina, the land and resources are

better managed and conservation efforts are heightened in an effort to preserve the land. Still,

some believe that public land is an inalienable right, which it is, per the Constitution of the

United States. They feel that privatization is exclusive and favors the wealthy. Which, in some

cases, it certainly does, but other times, it is simply a safeguard against human nature.

Private vs Public land is illustrated quite well in an economic and social model known as

the Tragedy of the Commons. To put it simply and in terms of fishing, imagine that an entire

river is accessible to everyone. Everyone uses it as a resource, harvesting fish to eat and as a
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recreational place. After some time, the river becomes overfished and polluted due the high

volume of anglers and recreationalists who enjoy the river. The water becomes murky, fish

become scarcer and less healthy, all because of humans who were utilizing it for activities. Now,

here arrives the integral part of the Tragedy of the Commons; since the river is overused, people

arrive to the conclusion that if they split the river up into private and public sections there will be

enough river to go around, and there is. Private waters recover because people are paying a

premium to access the stream, incentivizing conservation and thoughtfulness on the anglers part.

Since the the private waters are recovering, the public stretches quality is brought up by the good

practices of the private water users. It is important to note that people still grumble about

wanting access to the private water, but there is no need too as the river has been restored. That

is why we need private streams and land on a small scale, land and water is of higher quality

because people genuinely care about preservation and smart practices ensuring many more

generations can experience the joys of the outdoors.

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Works Cited:

Nelson, Robert H. 1994. Transferring Federal Lands in the West to the States: How would it

work? Points West Chronicle, Winter 1994-95, pp 6-7. Center for the New West, Denver,

Colorado.

Bruegmann, Robert. "How the Debate over Public vs. Private Transportation Hurts

Everyone."The Cities Papers. The Cities Papers, 23 July 2014. Web. 20 Mar. 2017.
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EIP WORK DRAFT 1: Peer Review Sheet

Reviewedby:MeredithBond

Tag,Label,Highlight,Question,ExplainandComment

1)Introduction

a) Locatethefiverhetoricaltasks(seecomments)

i) Issue,topic,orproblemidentified[task1]

ii) Outlined/describedthatproblemfortheaudience[task2]

iii) Contextualizedproblembyenteringtheconversationofprominentvoices[task3]

iv) Thesis(claim+reasoning)[task4]

v) Previewthekindsofevidence/analysisthatllbeemployedinaddressing

problem[task5]
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b) Intro(Tasks#1-3above).Howwelldoesthewritercontextualizetheissueforthe

reader?Doesthewaythecontextisdevelopedraiseanyquestionsforyou,ifsolistthem

outbelow?(Toobroad?Vague?Setuplikeawar?,etc)Parts1-3oftheintroductionare

veryfocusedinonthetopicandtheydrewmein&mademewanttoreadmoreabout

thepaperduetothespecificdetailsusedtosetupthecircumstance.

c) Intro(Tasks#1-3above)Towhatextentdoestheintroductioncomeacrossasboth1)

knowledgeableofthecorepovsorpositionsattensionand2)indicatewherethispaper

positionsitselfinthatrange?Theintroductionsetsupthetensionandgivesabrief

explanationandoverviewofthetopicthatwillbediscussedthroughouttherestofthe

paper.Thethesisleadsthereadertobelieveexactlywhattherestofthepapertalks

about..Theimportanceofconservationandmethodsusedtoresultincleanerstreams

andareasforwildlife.

d) Locatethethesis,thencircleboldtheclaimandunderlinethereasoningpartsofthe

sentence.Evaluatethestrengthofthethesisparts.Istheclaimandproposedreasoning

somethingthatthescopeoneessaycouldsupportwithsufficientandappropriate

evidence?Yes.

i) Whatkindofevidencewillbenecessaryfortheessaysreasoning?Information

thatappliestohumans,specificallyflyfishers,andwhattheycandotopreserve

andprotecttheplacestheyenjoyoutdoors(i.e.streams,rivers,andthewildlife

(fishthattheycatch))

e) Basedonwhatyouseeintheintro,whatdoyouthinkistheexigencyandpurpose

(hopedforoutcome/responsefromaudience)oftheessay?Thehopedforoutcomeof

readingthisessayistoprovideinformationtofishermenaboutwhattheycandoto

preserveandprotecttheplacestheyenjoytofish.
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f) IntroCommentary.Offeroneortwosuggestionsaboutthe(strategic,conceptualor

stylistic)introductoryset-upandhowtoimproveonit.Mentionprominentfigures(like

roosevelt)intheintrotoestablishcredibility.

2)EssayDevelopment

a) Paragraphing.Locateeachbodyparagraphsmainidea,orlabel/no.theminorderof

interesttoyou.Locatedincomments.

b) Commenthereandmarkonpage:Whichparagraphidea(s)couldbeexplainedor

supportedmorefully?Whichmainorsupportingpointsdoyouhavequestionsor

concernsabout?Perhapsitisagapinthelogicoraninterestingbutnotfullyexplored

claim.Indicatewhereandwhyyouthinkasectionissucceedingorunderperforming.

N/Aeverythinglooksgood!

c) ParagraphCommentary.Bodyparagraphsshouldberelatedtothereasoningput

forwardinthethesis.Reviewtheessaysdevelopmentofsupport&reasoningatthe

paragraphlevel,theneitheraskcriticalquestionsoroffersuggestions.Overall,asreader

youarescrutinizingtherelationshipbetweenthequalityandmethodofsupportandthe

thesisclaim.Ireallylikehowyousetupthescenariointheintroparagraph,butIfeellike

itmaybemorebeneficial(andeasytocomprehendforotherreaders)ifyoustartoff

withthedustbowlandrooseveltsproposalstosetupacauseandeffectin

chronologicalorder.

d) Citingsources.Iftheresearchisincorrectlycited(In-textorWorkscited)ornotwell

set-up,highlightthemandbringtowritersattention.OwlPurdueCitationsAvailable

here.Noin-textcitations..Butthereisareferencepage.

e) Therhetoricalstance&TheySay.Whichwordsorphrasesinthedraftindicatethe

valuesthewriterholdswithregardtothistopic?Howdoesthewriteridentifyand
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distinguishhis/herpositioninrelationtootherprominentvoices?Towhatextentdoes

thewriterengagewithoutsidevoices,TheySays,opposingviewpoints,naysayers?The

writerusesawholeseparateparagraphtoexplainhisviews&usesevidencefrom

researchtodrawlogicalconclusions.

3)Explainwhatyouthoughtworkedbestinthisessay.Whatdoyouadmireandfindcompelling?

Bespecific.Ireallylikedhowthewriterincludedmanydifferentstandpointsandcausesand

effect.

5. PARAGRAPH Development.

Go through a full page or so of the body paragraphs (approx 3 or 4 parag.). Quickly

identify topic claim, evidence and evaluation/analysis in them. Based on patterns in

your findings: Which aspects of the anatomy of a paragraph (above) does the

essay need to work on? Point to examples where the topic claim or analysis or insight

falls short of potential.

They Say I Say / Naysayers /Opposing Views. Anticipating objections and raising them in

paragraph analysis can strengthen ones position. What objections might be raised and

where? Write out your objections for the writer and offer any feedback on TSIS work.

See 2e.

Which paragraph or section was the strongest? Weakest? Feedback.

Any recommendations on the order of the paragraph development. Is it moving vertically

and toward greater insight or randomly / tangentially / backwards / ???

6. RESEARCH AND CITATION. Source credibility can be established in many ways (a writers job,

institutional affiliation, funding sources, reputation) and as readers we take as a given that the writer
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is honest and not intentionally misconstruing information. Nonetheless, a position is strengthened by

brief, clear indications of source ethos. That in mind...

Comment on the apparent quality of the source. Refer to Works Cited page as needed.

Comment on the efficient & clear set-up of source. Note any places in need of revision.

Comment on the appropriateness on the types of research employed. Reminder: Do not

automatically discount qualitative (non-numerical) methods of support. A logical analysis

of a situation or persuasive input from prominent voices can be as or more valuable than

isolated numbers or data. What matters is whether intended audience will find it

compelling and whether that kind of support can contribute insight, add meaning,

back-up claims, etc.

MLA. Note whether in-text citations and Works Cited references are accurate/need work.

Owl Purdue Citations Available here. (Links to an external site.) Any other formatting

issues to note?

C) Concluding Considerations

7. CONCLUSION. Evaluate the effectiveness of the closing paragraph(s). In your own words,

describe and assess what you understand as the purpose of the essay (the hoped for outcome and

response from its intended audience). To what extent does the conclusion avoid merely repeating

the introduction claim and instead launch itself forward/outward and toward genuine engagement,

broader implications or actions, etc?

8. RHETORICAL SITUATION: Speaker, Message, Audience, Purpose, Exigency.

Who is the target audience and does this essay speak to their needs, interests, concerns

on this topic? How so? How not so?

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Offer a holistic response to application and demonstrated skill of the essays

rhetorical effectiveness. Consider the terms above and their complex

interrelations as you discuss.

9. What was the best part of the essay? The best part of the essay was the amount and variety of

things addressed relating to the topic there was a historical overview along with counterarguments

and may solutions to the problem.

10. Offer a final comment on the total effectiveness of the message and its development in the

essay. I thought the essay was very thought out but there are no citations throughout.

11. Offer a final suggestion (or two) on what you see as high order concerns / areas in need of

further attention. Reorganization of paragraphs.