Deja Toliver

05/12/2017

ENG 5

Professor Grey

Tough Love
 Throughout this course this semester as a class we explored what gender is and how

people define themselves when it comes to gender. The definition I came up with for gender is

how individuals perceive themselves or what they call themselves. This can be the same gender

they are given at birth or different, with something they are feeling more comfortable identifying

with. We explored gender by reading articles, creating stories, researching activist people who

have had impact on the LGBTQ communities and interacting as a class. Also, we were

exploring our own gender identities through the My Gender Workbook. This book challenges

you to think outside the stereotypes society put up about gender, it makes you think about who

you are and how you define your identity and your gender. Society shapes men and women, and

puts them in their own individual shells, that cannot be broken because of the fear to be

different or unique. Typical women stereotypes are they are supposed to do household

chores, such as cooking, cleaning, looking after kids, women are weak, women are not strong,

supposed to be submissive and the list can go on. Typical men stereotypes are they are

supposed to be the primary provider, including

money, expenses, etc., men are strong, men are

supposed to like sports, men do not cry and again the

list can go on. A strong connection to stereotypes

and expectations men are supposed to live up to is a

Ted Talk by Tony Porter talking about these issues.

11:13

Through My Gender Workbook one of the first impressions I had on the book is, it might

actually be pretty accurate. I say this because, in the beginning of the book, it makes you take a

Gender Aptitude Test, I guess to show you how much you know about your gender yourself. My
Gender Aptitude Test said ...In fact, you probably get an infrequent but regular bout of the

gender willies from time to time, dont you?. This stuck out to me because during high school, I

actually did struggle with my gender identity and how I identified.

Early, in high school I met this girl who became a really big part of my life for about 9

months. We met the first week of school because she had

told my cousin she thought I was cute. I had never talked or

even thought about getting involved with another girl

until her. We kind had just hit it off and we started to be

together all the time, eventually becoming a couple. My

mom had found out about me having a girlfriend, and she did not approve at all. I did not

understand at the time why she was so upset and unaccepting because I have a cousin that

identifies as lesbian. My whole family is very accepting, but not when it came to me. My mom

finding about my girlfriend really took a huge toll on our relationship, we did not talk much at all

and when we did it was almost always an argument. Having this girl in my life, that made me

feel like no other girl did before, had me really questioning my sexuality and who I actually was

as a person.

I believe everyones identity manifest in their writing because people tend to take ideas

from everyday experiences and important events and incorporate those ideas into what they are

writing. In an article by Shelly Peterson named Gender Identities and Self-Expression in

Classroom Narrative Writing she says, I viewed my students narrative writing as a way of

seeing the world through their eyes (Peterson, 2001). This goes to show that even as young as

an adolescent your identity and who you are in that time, shows through writing. It shows people

how you see the world and other things like, ideas, policies, etc. Writing gives people a voice for
the things they cannot or do not be feel comfortable saying aloud. It could be a script for a play, a

creative writing piece, examples in essay on a given topic and many more genres. For example,

when writing my creative writing piece, the idea came from someone I knew back in elementary

school. He was always hanging with girls and loved to dance. I thought of that idea from an

event that transpired in my life. On another note, people also poor their emotions into their

writing intentionally and unintentionally sometimes. I believe, it is just something us (human

beings) do instinctively. This can take place especially if an individual is holding in all those

emotions and not bringing them to the surface. A form of genre I believe peoples identities

really manifest is in music. Music speaks to everyone, in a different way. This especially goes for

the artist because they are the ones writing the lyrics, they feel the most in touch with their

identities. I remember, during high school I went through some hard times, and music was my

main outlet because lyrically, I could relate to every word of the songs.

As time goes on I believe, that my identity and who I am will continue to change. I never

know what tomorrow or the next

day will have in store for me.

Who I encounter, what I see, how

it affects me. These things shape

and reshape who I am every day

and the way I lived my life.

Learning and being informed on

gender and gender identity has opened my eyes to what things I was going through, when I

experimented with my sexuality. I believe that I am more aware of things I say and not judging

based on how they look. Being different is not something that others should bad about, they
should be proud they are set apart from ordinary individuals. My experiences and things that I

have gone through have not only made me stronger, but humbled me as a person not to look and

believe stereotypes, but to judge the person for whom they really are.

Works Cited

Shelly Peterson. Gender Identities and Self-Expression in Classroom Narrative Writing.

Language Arts, Vol. 78, No. 5, Rewriting Writing (May 2001), pp. 451-457. JSTOR,

http://www.jstor.org/stable/41483175