EXTENSIVE MOTHERING

Employed Mothers Constructions

of the Good Mother
KAREN CHRISTOPHER
University of Louisville

Social scientists have provided rich descriptions of the ascendant cultural ideologies sur-
rounding motherhood and paid work. In this article, I use in-depth interviews with a
diverse sample of 40 employed mothers to explore how they navigate the intensive
mother and ideal worker ideologies and construct their own accounts of good mother-
ing. Married mothers in this sample construct scripts of extensive mothering, in which
they delegate substantial amounts of the day-to-day child care to others, and reframe good
mothering as being in charge of and ultimately responsible for their childrens well-
being. Single mothers describe extensive mothering in different ways, and their narratives
suggest less accountability to the intensive mothering model. Mothers in this sample
also justify employment in novel ways: They emphasize the benefits of employment for
themselvesnot only their childrenand they reject the long work hours imposed by an
ideal worker model. The article ends with the implications of extensive mothering for the
motherhood and employment literatures and for gender equality.

Keywords: family; work/family; work/occupations

O ver the past several decades, mothers employment rates have risen
sharply. By 2010, approximately two-thirds of North American
mothers with young children worked outside of the home (Almey 2010;

AUTHORS NOTE: The author thanks Avery Kolers, Namita Manohar, Gul Marshall,
Gretchen Webber, former editor Dana Britton, Joya Misra, and three anonymous reviewers
for their extremely helpful comments on earlier drafts of this article. The author also thanks
Jacqueline Yoder and Amanda Dishon for their meticulous work transcribing interviews.
This work was supported by an Internal Research Initiative Grant from the University of
Louisville, as well as its College of Arts and Sciences and Department of Sociology. An
earlier version of this article was presented at the Eastern Sociological Society meetings in
Boston in March 2010. Direct correspondence to Karen Christopher, Departments of
Womens and Gender Studies and Sociology, University of Louisville, Louisville, KY, 40292.
E-mail: k.christopher@louisville.edu

GENDER & SOCIETY, Vol. 26 No. 1, February 2012 73-96

DOI: 10.1177/0891243211427700
2012 by The Author(s)
73
74GENDER & SOCIETY / February 2012

U.S. Department of Labor 2010). However, many contend that cultural

ideologies and the social structures of the family and workplace have not
changed as quickly or as substantially as mothers themselves. For instance,
mothers with male partners still perform about twice as much child care
and housework as their partners (Bianchi, Wight, and Raley 2005). Many
scholars have documented how traditional gender role ideologies, inflex-
ible workplaces, and inadequate public policies constrain North American
mothers (and fathers) ability to combine employment with involved
parenting (Gornick and Meyers 2003; Stone 2007; Williams 2000). This
study seeks to understand how mothers make sense of their caregiving and
employment in this uneven and stalled (England 2005) or unfinished
(Gerson 2010) gender revolution; in short, it explores how contemporary
mothers of young children construct scripts of good mothering and how
employment figures into these constructions.
Social scientists have offered rich descriptions of the ascendant cul-
tural ideologies surrounding motherhood and paid work. This article
offers several contributions to this literature. First, this article identifies
extensive mothering as a way mothers respond to the cultural construc-
tions of the ideal mother and worker and reframe how employment fits
into notions of good mothering in their lives. In so doing, it explores the
nuances and complexities in this extensive mothering narrativehow
mothers discuss their ideal parenting and employment situations and their
actual situations, and how both vary by marital status and social class.
Unlike most previous studies of mothers, and consistent with other recent
studies of young womens goals and aspirations, this study finds that many
employed mothers justify their employment by discussing the personal
benefits they themselves receive from paid work, in addition to the bene-
fits accrued to their children. With its inclusion of mothers from a variety
of racial/ethnic backgrounds and occupations, this study of mothers
includes a more diverse sample than most previous studies, and suggests
that a reframing of motherhood along the lines of extensive motherhood is
not limited to class-privileged women.

LITERATURE REVIEW

Doing gender theory analyzes how gender is accomplished, repro-

duced, and legitimized through our interactions with others (West and
Zimmerman 2002). It is well established that motherhood is central to the
feminine accomplishment of gender. Drawing from doing gender theory,
this research focuses on not only how mothers explain their caregiving and
 Christopher / EMPLOYED MOTHERS CONSTRUCTIONS 75

employment decisions but also how they make sense of these decisions in
light of what they think they should be doing. West and Zimmerman sug-
gest that we explain our actions with an eye to their accountability, that is
how they look and how they might be characterized (2002, 12). A rich
body of research explores the predominant ideologies of caregiving and
employment to which North American mothers are held accountable.
Drawing from in-depth interviews of 38 mothers of preschoolers and
textual analyses of child-rearing manuals, Hays (1996) identified an
intensive mothering ideology. This ideology holds that mothers should
be the central caregivers of children and that ideal child rearing is time-
intensive, guided by experts, and emotionally engrossing. Hays argued that
under intensive motherhood, Good childrearing requires the day-to-day
labor of nurturing the child, listening to the child, attempting to decipher
the childs needs and desires, struggling to meet the childs wishes, and
placing the childs well-being ahead of their [mothers] own convenience
(1996, 115).
Among the employed mothers in her sample, she found that the expec-
tations of intensive mothering left them feeling pressed for time, a little
guilty, a bit inadequate, and somewhat ambivalent about their position
(1996, 151). Hays also found that employed mothers justified their paid
work by emphasizing its benefits for their children (rather than them-
selves). In short, intensive mothering requires that mothers continually put
the needs of their children above their own.
While acknowledging the competing ideologies surrounding contem-
porary motherhood (Collins 1994, 2000; Duncan and Edwards 1999;
Johnston and Swanson 2006, 2007; Lamphere, Zavella, and Gonzales
1993; Segura 1994; Stack and Burton 1993), many scholars have identi-
fied intensive mothering as the ascendant ideology in North America
(Arendell 2000; Avishai 2007; Douglas and Michaels 2004; Garey 1999;
Hattery 2001; Hays 1996; Macdonald 1998). Many studies address how
motherhood intersects with employment in womens lives. Joan Williams
(2000, 30) critiqued the gender system of domesticityincluding the
belief that mothers should have all the time and love in the world to give
to their childrena belief quite consistent with intensive mothering.
Williams added that the gender system of domesticity incorporates two
other beliefsthat employers deserve ideal workers who have limited
(if any) responsibility for family work, and that men are entitled (and
required) to be ideal workers (2000, 25).
Research suggests that mothers are increasingly expected to be ideal
workers as welland that many mothers want to reap the benefits of
paid work. Webber and Williams analysis of mothers working part time
76GENDER & SOCIETY / February 2012

showed the ubiquity of the ideal worker norm (2008, 758) among
employers, which led to career penalties for part-time work among mothers
in their sample. They found that mothers were often thankful for the
opportunity to work part time and did not challenge the ideal worker norm,
but rather redefine[d] their job penalties as the cost of good mothering
(2008, 771). In her book The Time Bind, Hochschild (1997) suggested that
many mothers felt more rewarded and valued at their jobs than at home,
so they worked long hours. In this scenario, mothers are less fulfilled once
they come home to not only the second shift of household labor but also a
third shift of unhappy children and spouses who want more of mothers
time.
Contemporary studies identify how employed mothers in particular
challenge the expectations of intensive mothering. Uttals exploration of
31 employed mothers found that most notably, they [respondents] chal-
lenge the assumption of presence and the assumption of the all-powerful
mother (1996, 308). In her study of female executives, Blair-Loy (2003)
explored two schemas or cultural scripts institutionalized in family and
work settings: the family devotion and work devotion schemas. The former
emphasizes the fulfillment and meaning drawn from family life, whereas
the latter emphasizes commitment to and meaning derived from paid work.
She described the youngest cohort as having a definition of motherhood
as more delegatory than intensive and a definition of children as more
independent than vulnerable . . . the youngest career-committed women
combine[d] motherhood with demanding executive careers (2003, 184-85).
Gareys exploration of 37 racially/ethnically diverse mothers working in
the health care field found they viewed employment as complementing
not conflicting withmotherhood. Many womens identities as mothers
and workers were mutually supportive (1999, 79), such that several
mothers claimed that working outside the home made them better mothers.
Likewise, out of her sample of 30 mostly white mothers, Hattery identified
three who soundly rejected intensive mothering; she labeled them non-
conformist mothers. These mothers worked outside of the home, strongly
identified with their careers, believed their children thrived in public child
care settings, and did not report feeling guilty about their decisions; they
said they were better mothers when they pursue their own interests and
have time away from their children (2001, 161).
In their review of previous studies, Johnston and Swanson ask:

Where are the full-time employed mothers who work for the sake of their
career identity . . . yet still strongly identify with their parenting role? The
dismissal of this group as reluctant mothers or nonconformists only
 Christopher / EMPLOYED MOTHERS CONSTRUCTIONS 77

serves to perpetuate the mystique of intensive mothering and its myth of

the incompatibility of employment and good mothering. (2006, 511)

This study aims to answer their question by exploring how mothers

navigate (and often reject) the ideal types of the intensive mother and ideal
worker to construct their own scripts of good mothering. Johnston and
Swanson (2007) found that employed mothers engaged in cognitive acro-
batics to justify their employment given the ubiquity of the intensive
mothering ideology. Their in-depth interviews with 98 married mothers
found that most full-time employed mothers were ultimately unable to rec-
oncile the tension between their identities as mothers and workers. A minor-
ity of full-time mothers, as well as many part-time mothers in their study,
used reframing to integrate workers identity and mothering such that
contradiction no longer existed: employment made them better mothers
(2007, 457). While the authors call this strategy reframing, it is still con-
sistent with intensive mothering, in that children remain the justification for
mothers employment. As an addition to their research, this study finds that
mothers reframe both motherhood and employment in novel ways.
Many scholars have identified how cultural ideologies intersect with
more material factorssuch as womens education level, career opportu-
nities, degree of flexibility at the workplace, and partners preferences
and job statusto influence mothers employment and caregiving deci-
sions (Garey 1999; Gerson 1985; Hattery 2001; Hochschild 1989, 1997;
Stone 2007; Walzer 1997; Webber and Williams 2008). Clearly, ideolo-
gies intersect with the material realities in mothers family and work lives
to influence their experiences of employment and motherhood. This arti-
cle focuses on mothers ideologies, but acknowledges material influences
such as mothers marital status and their racial/ethnic and social class
background.
Historical and social contexts of racial/ethnic and economic inequality
shape womens experiences of mothering (Collins 1994, 2000; Lamphere,
Zavella, and Gonzales 1993). Within these contexts, women of color and
low-income women often experience and interpret motherhood differ-
ently than white, class-privileged mothers. For instance, because histori-
cally women of color have had to work for pay to support their families,
they often hold integrative views of motherhood and paid work; Collins
(2000, 184) states that in contrast to the . . . the traditional family ideal,
in which paid work is defined as being in opposition to and incompatible
with motherhood, work for Black women has been an important and valued
dimension of motherhood. Segura (1994) shows how women of Mexican
origin (to varying degrees) conceptualize motherhood as incorporating
78GENDER & SOCIETY / February 2012

the role of provider for ones children. Collins (2000) also explores mother-
ing practices in African American communitiessuch as other-mothering
(178) provided by relatives or community membersthat challenge tra-
ditional gender ideologies positing the mother as the best central, primary
caregiver of her children. More generally, in the face of racial/ethnic and
economic inequality, mothering can empower women of color to improve
themselves, their families, and their communities (Collins 1994, 2000).
Drawing from this scholarship, below I highlight the influence of race/
ethnicity and class in mothers narratives. However, given the importance
of race/ethnicity and class in mothers narratives about motherhood and
employment, a separate article from this study analyzes these issues in
greater detail (Christopher 2011).
Like several of the studies cited above, my research explores the mean-
ings mothers give to their employment and parenting arrangements. This
article focuses specifically on how mothers navigate the ideals of intensive
mothering and the ideal workerand the nuances and complexities in how
they define good mothering in the context of these frameworks. As an
addition to Johnston and Swansons (2006, 2007) large qualitative study of
mothers with young children, this sample includes a more diverse group of
mothers with respect to their race/ethnicity, social class, and marital status.
This allows me to explore whether mothers narratives are relatively con-
sistent or divergent across these differences in social location. It is espe-
cially important to examine how marital status influences how mothers
respond to ideal types of mothering, as partnered mothers often have
more choice over employment than non-partnered mothers. This article
also adds a focus on a more recent cohort of mothers; all were born after
1965most between 1970 and 1985so came of age in the 1980s and
1990s, when women had more educational and employment opportunities
than older cohorts of women. This sample of contemporary mothers allows
me to explore the extent to which mothers are reframing motherhood
in ways similar to or different from earlier cohorts of mothers in Hays
(1996), Hatterys (2001), Blair-Loys (2003) and Gareys (1999) rich
studies of mothers.

METHODS

This study uses in-depth interviews to explore mothers employment

and caregiving narratives. From summer 2007 through summer 2009,
I interviewed 59 mothers with young childrenwith at least one child
 Christopher / EMPLOYED MOTHERS CONSTRUCTIONS 79

younger than age 5because this is when childrens caregiving needs

are typically greatest. This article focuses on the 40 mothers who were
employed or on paid leave and planning to return to employment once
their leave ended. Fifteen of these mothers lived in Canada; 25 lived in the
United States.1 Half of the U.S. and Canadian mothers lived in large met-
ropolitan areas, and the other half lived in moderate-sized cities.
I recruited respondents with flyers advertising the study in high-, mid-
dle-, and low-income areas, and by snowball sampling, through which
personal contacts and other respondents gave me names of other mothers.
To ensure a diverse sample, contacts recruited by snowball sampling were
limited to three women from the initial contact person. Interviews were
semistructured: I worked from an interview guide and asked all mothers
questions about their actual and ideal employment and caregiving situa-
tions, but gave mothers substantial leeway to discuss the experiences most
important to them.2 I conducted interviews in either public places or the
respondents homes. Interviews lasted between 45 minutes and two hours,
most in the 90-minute range. All mothers were given pseudonyms.
As seen in Table 1, the 40 employed mothers were diverse in many
respects. Ten self-identified as African American/Canadian; 10 as Latina
or Hispanic; 19 as white; and one as a Burmese immigrant. Mothers held
a wide range of jobs. Sixty percent of the employed mothers worked full-
time. Regarding family incomes, there were seven low-income mothers, 13
lower-middle-income mothers, 15 upper-middle-income mothers, and five
upper-income mothers. (For income categories, see Table 1.) Unfortunately,
the sample is less diverse with respect to sexuality; only one mother self-
identified as lesbian. All but eight of the employed mothers were married:
one self-identified lesbian mother had a partner; six mothers were nonpart-
nered; and one woman had separated from her husband the week before
the interview and is also considered single for the purposes of this article
because her husband was relatively uninvolved with the children. More
than half of the sample had two children, nine mothers had one child,
seven mothers had three children, and two mothers had four or more chil-
dren. As compared to the national populations of Canada and the United
States, these mothers are more likely to be married and their average fam-
ily income is slightly higher. The fertility rate of the Canadian mothers is
comparable to the national fertility rate of 1.6, whereas the U.S. mothers
fertility rate is slightly higher than the national fertility rate of 2.1.
After tape-recorded interviews were transcribed by student assistants, I
read the transcripts multiple times and coded them first using literal coding
based on the main questions of interest in the study (Hesse-Biber 2007).
 TABLE 1. Mothers Marital Status, Nationality, Family Income, Racial/Ethnic Background, and Occupation

80
Nationality Family Incomea Race/Ethnicity Occupation
Married/Partnered
Rachel Canadian Upper White Attorney, part-time
Sarah Canadian Upper White Attorney, full-time
Dana Canadian Upper White Recruiter, full-time
Cara Canadian Upper White Therapist, part-time
Jessica Canadian UM White Consultant (leave, return f-t)
Melissa Canadian UM White Policy analyst (leave, return f-t)
Serena Canadian UM White Writer (leave, return p-t)
Megan Canadian UM White Engineer (leave, return f-t)
Betsy Canadian UM White Adjunct professor, full-time
Callie Canadian LM White Childcare provider, part-time
Chandra Canadian LM White Housecleaner, part-time
Carma Canadian LM Burmeseb Nursing, full-time
Cecilia Canadian Lower African Canadian Cashier, part-time
Ana Canadian Lower Latina Personal trainer (leave, return
p-t)
Kate U.S. Upper White Conservator, full-time
Jillian U.S. UM White Nurse, part-time
Lisa U.S. UM White Teacher, part-time
Sally U.S. UM White Teacher, part-time
Michelle U.S. UM White Speech pathologist, part-time
Erika U.S. UM African American Professor, full-time
Delia U.S. UM African American Herbalist, full-time
Elena U.S. UM Latina Local govt. policy, full-time
Karina U.S. UM Latina Grant writer, full-time
Sofia U.S. UM Latina Govt. consultant, part-time
Selena U.S. UM Latina Professor, full-time

(continued)
 TABLE 1. (Continued)

Nationality Family Incomea Race/Ethnicity Occupation

Molly U.S. LM White Therapist, part-time
Kelly U.S. LM White Caregiver for elderly, part-time
Anita U.S. LM African American Administrative asst., full-time
Bianca U.S. LM African American Administrative asst., full-time
Alana U.S. LM Latina Clerical/accounting, full-time
Isabela U.S. LM Latina Nanny, full-time
Ladonna U.S. Lower African American Cashier, part-time
Rosalina U.S. Lower Latina Janitor, part-time
Single
Salma Canadian Lower African Canadian Cook, part-time
Allison U.S. LM White Professor, full-time
Jana U.S. LM African American Nurse, full-time
Jasmine U.S. LM African American Program coordinator, full-time
Monica U.S. LM Latina Call center worker, full-time
Alma U.S. Lower Latina Childcare worker, full-time
Jordana U.S. Lower African American Call center worker, full-time
a
Upper refers to upper-income families, UM to upper-middle-income families, LM to lower-middle-income families, and Lower to lower-income
families. Upper-income families had annual family incomes above $200,000 (U.S.); upper-middle-income families between $75,000 and $199,999;
lower-middle-income families between $30,000 and $74,999; and lower-income families under $29,999.
b
Carma was an immigrant from Burma and identified her racial/ethnic background as Burmese.

81
82GENDER & SOCIETY / February 2012

I then moved onto more focused coding (Charmaz 1995), in which I

compared respondents narratives to one another, and compared respond-
ents narratives to themes in the past literature on motherhood and employ-
ment. I developed the themes on which this article is based through
focused coding.

FINDINGS

Reframing Caregiving and Good Mothering: Extensive Mothering

A defining tenet of intensive motherhood is that the child absolutely
requires consistent nurture by a single primary caregiver and . . . the mother
is the best person for the job (Hays 1996, 8), and the ideal worker model
requires that workers put in as many hours of work as their employer
deems necessary, regardless of family demands. At least on the surface, it
seemed most employed mothers in this sample rejected both of these ideal
types, in that all but four of the 40 employed mothers said they preferred
to work for pay over staying at home with children full time, and about half
said they would prefer part-time work to full-time work. A closer look at
their narratives reveals complexities in the ways mothers navigate these
two models.

Married Mothers and Extensive Mothering

Sarah was a white Canadian lawyer who worked full-time and had two
children younger than age 5. Her moderately high income and her hus-
bands high income made them an upper-income family. When asked
about her ideal caregiving situation, Sarah said she did not want to spend
long hours with her children. She said, I justIm really not cut out to
be a stay-at-home-mom. . . . I think that a large part of it is drudgery. And
so, I love that my nanny takes care of a lot of things, but then I get to
parachute in . . . in the evenings, I come home and we just do fun stuff.
Sarah preferred to work full time, and she did not feel guilty about not
wanting to be an intensive mother who spends long hours with her chil-
dren. She said, Somebody said to me the other day that they felt guilty
about not being home enough, and I dont feel guilty about workingI
like what I do. However, Sarah did acknowledge the demands of inten-
sive mothering when discussing her nanny, saying, My daughter loves
her, but it actually bothers me that she loves her. Not that I would want
her not to love her, but you know, there can only be one number one and
 Christopher / EMPLOYED MOTHERS CONSTRUCTIONS 83

thats supposed to be me. Sarah said she would ideally like a bit more
time with her children during the work week, but she was generally quite
satisfied with her family and work arrangements.
While Sarah strongly identified with her job as a lawyer, she also iden-
tified herself as the primary caregiver of her children because she decided
what they did and with whom they spent time. She said, My nanny is very
good with them and spends lots of time with them, but Im in charge.
Sarahs insistence on being in charge suggests that, for her, being the
primary caregiver means organizing her childrens time, not spending most
of it with them. Thus, Sarah could be described as an extensive mother
whose mothering tasks extend over a range of activities: organizing the
nannys work hours from around 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. each workdayinclud-
ing play dates and classes for her childrenand spending most of the
weekend caring for them (with her partner). Instead of being an intensive
motherand being the central, hands-on caregiver of her childrenSarah
was more of a delegatory mother, similar to the youngest mothers in
Blair-Loys (2003) study.
At the same time, Sarah stressed that she was not willing to be the
ideal worker required by private law firms. She said that one reason she
enjoyed her current job (in the provincial government) was because it was
very child-friendly. She left her prior job in private practice because it
consistently required her to work evenings and weekends, which she no
longer wanted to do. She said, I find it quite painful to have to work every
night. Sarah navigated the space between intensive mothering and the
ideal worker in law firms by defining good mothering as extensive, rather
than intensivebeing in charge of her children and doing the fun
stuff in the evenings with them during the work week, and spending long
hours with them on weekends. To some degree, Sarah sounds like some
of the parents in Hochschilds The Time Bind in that she found housework
and long hours of child care akin to drudgerybut unlike those in
Hochschilds study, she enjoyed fun stuff with children at home after
work; her ability to hire both a housecleaner and nanny left more time for
fun stuff once she returned home in the evenings. Being a more delega-
tory motherbut one who limited the intrusion of paid work into her
home lifeallowed Sarah to construct herself as both a committed mother
and worker. Sarahs class privilege certainly affected her satisfaction with
this arrangementand she acknowledged how lucky she was to work a
job she loved and have a wonderful nanny take care of her children.
Carma was a Burmese immigrant to Canada working as an LPNa
Licensed Professional Nurse, awarded after two years of studyand
84GENDER & SOCIETY / February 2012

studying towards her 4-year BSN (Bachelor of Science in Nursing) degree

at the time of the interview. She identified herself as the primary caregiver
of her children. She recognized the expectations of intensive mothering by
saying, If I was a kind of person who wants to stay at home and spend
total full time with my kids, Id be the happiest person. But for me, person-
ally speaking. . . . I want to work. She emphasized that she would only
work a job if it allowed her to be balanced and fair to her children.
Describing her caregiving arrangements, she said, The babysitter I have
while Im at work, 40 hours a week, shes my assistant. She assists me.
Because even though Im at work, Im calling them. . . . I did my research,
I chose my babysitter. This quote suggests that for her, a good mother
does the research to find a good caregiver and checks up on her children
while not with them. Thus, Carma stresses that while she may not physi-
cally be with her children, she remains ultimately responsible for them. At
the same time, for Carma a good mother is not one who works extremely
long hours. She said that while she was sometimes asked to work over-
time, she almost always turned it down because she was unwilling to be
away from her family any longer than her 40-hour work week and school-
work required. Like Sarah, Carma acknowledges the demands of intensive
mothering, but constructs an account of a more extensive mother who is
ultimately responsible for her kids well-being while away from them, and
also limits her work hoursbeing balanced and fair to both her children
and her workplace.
Two of the Canadian mothers who were receiving paid leave at the time
of the interview said they would rather be employed than at home with
their children. One of these mothers, Melissa, was a white, middle-class
mother of two young children and an analyst for provincial social ser-
vices. Her narrative illustrates the complexities in an extensive mothering
script. She said that while she shared a good deal of parenting with her
spouse (who would soon take his six months of their year-long paid leave),
she identified herself as their primary caregiver, in part because her hus-
bands job required longer hours than hers. She was also more involved in
planning her childrens schedules. On paid leave at the time of the inter-
view, she said, Truthfully, I would love to be back at my job. (Laughs.)
A lot of people ask me, Do you love being at home with your kids? And
the answer is Not really. She added, This sounds awful, but I think the
more breaks, the better. Melissa said she was extremely fulfilled by her
job and looked forward to returning to full-time work once her paid leave
ended. However, she added that while at home with them even if Im not
always feeling totally fulfilled, I think its good for them. . . . I think its
 Christopher / EMPLOYED MOTHERS CONSTRUCTIONS 85

really important that kids, especially early on, get a lot of time with their
parents. Like the mothers described above, Melissa would delegate a good
deal of caregiving to othersher husband as well as a child care facility
once they both returned to full-time work. She recognized the expectations
of intensive mothering by saying that it sounds awful that she wanted
more time away from her children, but constructed her mothering as more
extensive than intensiveshe prefers to work outside of the home, but
remains the primary caregiver and would work only reasonable hours.
These three married mothers construct good mothering as extensive
rather than intensiveemployed mothers may not see their children for
long hours during the work week but remain ultimately in charge of
them or are responsible for them. Part of the extensive mothering narrative
entails rejecting the demands of the ideal worker model; while they
worked full time (or would soon return to full-time work), these mothers
all limited their work hours due to their children.

Single Mothers and Extensive Mothering

The seven employed single mothers in this sample had to engage in
mothering that was more extensive than intensivethey were the sole
caregivers and providers for their children, so had to delegate child care to
others when working for pay. Their constructions of ideal mothering dif-
fered from those of married mothers. Several of the single mothers men-
tioned their lack of choice over working for pay. Allison, a white university
professor and middle-class mother of two, said:

I have had people say to me, you know, Oh, dont you wish you had
more time to spend with your kids? But the minute you tell people that
youre a single parent, they back off from that. I think the pressure is actu-
ally a lot harder, or heavier on women who have partners and have other
incomes. Because then people say, Well, you have a choice! You know,
I can just say I dont have a choice, and people back off pretty quickly.

Allison suggests that because single mothers must be employed, people

back off from the cultural expectation that mothers should spend long
hours with their children. Her lack of choice over having to work full time
to support her children made her less accountable to the expectations of
intensive mothering.
Several single mothers also constructed good mothering differently
than the married mothers in this sample. For example, Jasmine was an
African American, lower-middle-income single mother of three children
86GENDER & SOCIETY / February 2012

who worked full time as an administrative assistant and attended school

part time. She said that even if she did not have to work outside of the
home, she would still want to have a jobthough her ideal would be
working three days a week, not five. She said she needed a break from the
everyday stresses of raising children. She added:

Ive always raised my kids to beI always sayto be community kids.

Because I dont want them to be too attached to me that they wont go
anywhere else. So my kids have never, I mean Ive never been that way,
like we just really need each other. Not every day anyways! (Laughs.)

Jasmine rejected the idea that mothers should be the sole, central nurtur-
ers in their childrens lives. Echoing themes from the literature on mothers
of color (Collins 2000), she suggested that a mothers larger community
should be active in raising children. Jasmines reliance on extended family
and community members was also necessary given she did not have the
economic resources for private babysitters, like high-income families
(such as Sarahs) do. Interestingly, she and several other single mothers
who by definition are more in charge of children than are mothers with
partnerswere less likely than married mothers to emphasize the impor-
tance of being in charge of or responsible for their children. In fact,
when I asked Jasmine whether she considered herself the primary car-
egiver of her children, she laughed at the question, then gave a slightly
sarcastic Umm hmmm, because the answer was obvious. For these sin-
gle mothers, being in charge is taken for grantedthere is no one else to
be ultimately responsible for their children.
Single mothers were also more frank about needing breaks from chil-
drenand none qualified their remarks with comments like This sounds
awful, like Melissa. Single mothers often said that employment provided
breaks from children that were necessary for their emotional well-being.
Allison, the university professor, said she could not be a stay-at-home
mother with two kids. I just couldnt do itespecially as a single parent,
not having other adult contact, having no other breaks, theres just no way.
When asked if she would work outside of the home if she did not have to
for economic reasons, Salma, a low-income, part-time cook and African
Canadian mother of three children, replied,

Yeah. I need time away from my kids. I need to do things that stimulate
me. I sort of came to the realization, once I had three kids, that you know
there are four of us in this house, and all four of us need a certain amount
of balance and time to ourselves. I know that. Because it was really easy
for me to just sort of sacrifice myself to the point of nothingness.
 Christopher / EMPLOYED MOTHERS CONSTRUCTIONS 87

Salmas refusal to sacrifice herself to the point of nothingness is a

striking response to the all-consuming demands of intensive mothering in
the context of single motherhood. Salma also embodies Collinss claim
that for African American women motherhood can serve[s] as a cata-
lyst for her movement into self-definition, self-valuation, and individual
empowerment (2000, 198). Class is also relevant in Salmas narrative:
Her lack of resources to hire caregivers and her demanding job as a cook
often left her physically and emotionally spent by the end of the workday.
Within these contexts, for Salma, being a good mother included having
time away from her children and focusing on herself.
At the same time, all of the single mothers said they limited their work
hours in order to care for their children; while three had regular help from
extended family and the rest had little to none, caregiving demands still
made it impossible to be ideal workers. For example, Jana, an African
American nurse with one child, said that she was unwilling to trade in her
eight-hour shifts for 10-hour shifts and receive overtime pay: I couldnt
sign up for that, because . . . the shift ends at 6:30, and you know, getting
my baby home then, you know, it isnt worth it. This is in sharp contrast
to the mothers and fathers dubbed overtime hounds in Hochschilds
(1997) study of employed mothers and fathers.
In spite of the differences between them, these married and single
mothers framed good mothering as extensive because they were ultimately
responsible for their childrens well-being, but were typically not spending
intensive amounts of time with them. This responsibility is assumed for
single mothers, while married mothers often emphasized their role as
being in charge of and responsible for childrenconstructing accounts
of how they remained primary caregivers when they are employed. Single
mothers also expressed less ambivalence when discussing their need for
breaks from children. Both married and single mothers often said that they
find more fulfillment in paid work than in parentingand this is an essen-
tial reason why they do not stay at home with their children.

Justifications for Employment under Extensive Mothering:

Reframing Employment
Hays (1996) found that employed mothers justified their employment
by emphasizing its benefits for their children; several more recent studies
reviewed above confirm this pattern. In this sample, most employed moth-
ers did justify their employment by discussing some ways it benefited
their children. But almost all also justified their employment by pointing
to the benefits they themselves received, thus challenging the notion that
88GENDER & SOCIETY / February 2012

childrens needs should always come first. Under extensive mothering,

justifications for employment extend to mothers own needs.

Married Mothers Justifications

Carma (introduced above) had two young daughters, worked 40 hours
a week in her nursing job, and was attending college. She and her husband
worked full time but earned relatively low salaries and would be consid-
ered working- to lower-middle class. When I asked Carma whether she
thought mothers of young children should be employed or stay at home with
their children, she answered, It depends. . . . For me, I spend so much effort
and so much hard work in my nursing school, and that was my calling.
Thats my job. I love it; I love what Im going to do. . . . I have all this skill,
I dont want to lose it. Rather than justifying employment by its benefits to
her children, Carma justified her paid work by pointing to the benefits she
receivedenjoyment and use of a hard-earned skill set. Similarly, Sarah
(the lawyer described above) said that lots of us feel we are just not pre-
pared to park our education, or lose these opportunitiesthat we would find
it very difficult to re-establish ourselves. You cant just walk away from law
and come back in ten years and say, Im still a lawyer. Many other
employed mothers said they wanted to work because they had invested a
good deal of time and energy into their education and training.
Later in the interview, Carma described the confidence and independ-
ence conferred by her job:

When you talk to your husband, its not like a traditional Tibetan. Like
you look eye-to-eye and you see [that] the clothes that I wear? I bought it.
The shoes I wear? I bought it. So you know, you are at the same level. . . .
If my husband would say, You stay at home, like traditionally back
home, I would feel unfulfilled.

Carma also worked for pay to have a more equal relationship with her
husband (who worked about 45 hours a week as a carpenter). Later in the
interview, she said that she had to push him to clean the house and to spend
more time with the childrenwhich she called a constant struggle.
While this scenario sounds similar to some of the couples in Hochschilds
The Time Bind, Carmas situation was different in two respects: First, she
was not willing to work over 40 hours a week to get her husband to do
more housework, like several of the mothers in Hochschilds study; sec-
ond, Carma did find her home life stressful at times, but also expressed that
she was so happy to come home after a shift at workshe did not work
 Christopher / EMPLOYED MOTHERS CONSTRUCTIONS 89

to avoid the third shift at home. A few other lower-middle- and lower-
income mothersone African Canadian, one African American, one
Latina, and one whitesaid they worked in order to garner more respect
from their partners.
Like Carma and Sarah, most employed mothers in this sample justified
their paid work by pointing to personal benefits like enjoyment, self-con-
fidence, or the impact they had in their job. For example, Elena, a middle-
class Latina mother of two who worked in local government on family
policy, said:

I would really love to be one of those moms that says, You know, I want
to stay at home, but I am not. I mean, I think I possess a certain level of
intelligence, and I cant sit at home all day. . . . And I would love to be
with my child more, but I am good at what I do, and I wanted to continue
to do it because particularly when it comes to children, because they dont
pay taxes and they dont votethey really dont have a voice. . . . The
joke in the office is that I cover like the 1.9 million children in our county
. . . you sacrifice [your own] children to help all the other children.

Here Elena referred to the demands of intensive mothering by acknowl-

edging that she would love to be able to say she wanted to be a
stay-at-home mother. But then, in a somewhat defensive tonestressing
her intelligence and inability to sit at home all dayshe listed all the
reasons she works for pay. For her, the benefits of employment to herself
and others outside of her family took precedence; one could argue that
her account of good mothering actually extends to being attentive to the
needs of all the children in her city, rather than just her own (talk about
extensive mothering!). Like mothers of color in past research (Collins
2000), Elena emphasized community activism as a component of good
mothering. At the same time, Elena said that while under deadlines she
had to work long hours, she was typically home early enough in the
evening for dinner.
Elena said she did not feel guilty about working full time because her
younger son thrived in preschool, and it was important for her sons to see
that it isnt a womans roleunless she wishes it to beto be home with
children all the time . . . you know, women can do whatever they want.
She stressed the importance of children learning that mothers have a life
outside of their children. Recall that Sarah, the lawyer described above,
said that she didnt feel guilty about working for pay because she liked
what she did. Both Sarahs and Elenas comments illustrate mothers
agency in their constructions of good motheringtheir emphasis on their
90GENDER & SOCIETY / February 2012

own needs as people helped supersede any feelings of guilt or ambivalence

over working for pay.

Single Mothers Justifications

All of the single mothers in this sample had an obvious justification for
their employmenteconomic needand most of them referred to this in
their interviews. However, all but one of the seven single mothers said they
would work for pay even if they did not have to for economic reasons.
There were two main reasons for this: personal fulfillment gained by paid
work and the need for breaks from caregiving (described above). Allison
said, I get a real kick out of being in the classroom and talking about things
that matter to me. And I do like reading and doing research . . . I really like
what I do. So (pause), yeah, even if I were independently wealthy, I cant
imagine not working. (Recall that above she also said her job gives her a
much-needed break from her children.) Similarly, Salmas quote above
speaks of her need for stimulation outside of her children.
Alma was a low-income, Latina single mother of two who worked in a
child care center that her younger child also attended. Alma said her ideal
would be to work part time rather than the full-time hours she worked. She
wished she could prepare a hot breakfast for her son but could not because
they left the house early in the morning, and she wanted more time with
both of her children. She discussed how stressed out and tired she was by
the end of the day, saying that, while she really liked her job caring for
kids, Being a working mother is hard, a lot of work, very tiring... there
have been times I have cried on the way home from work, but I dont have
a choice, I have to work. At the same time, Alma said that if she were
economically comfortable she would still work because she needs to get
out as well and needs breaks from her own children. Similar to mothers
of color in past studies, Alma said she always expected to work for pay.
But Almas low income and occupation made her life more stressful than
most of the other mothers in this sample: Her work as a low-income car-
egiver of other childrencombined with her own childrenmeant that she
was always caring for children, and her low wages did not allow her to hire
babysitters or enroll her children in programs. Almas narrative suggests
that even when they worked in low-wage, stressful jobs, single mothers in
this sample worked for reasons besides providing for their children.
Like the married mothers described above, these single mothers stressed
their own personal needs in their employment narratives. Both married
and single mothers stressed how employment granted them independence
from family members: Some married mothers said their jobs increased
their power vis--vis their husbands, and all of the single mothers said
 Christopher / EMPLOYED MOTHERS CONSTRUCTIONS 91

employment provided necessary breaks from their children. Unlike moth-

ers in most previous studies, these mothers reframe employment and time
away from their children as important for their own needsnot just for
their children or for economic reasons. Under extensive mothering, moth-
ers justifications for employment extend beyond their roles as mothers
and providers.

CONCLUSION

The employed mothers in this study navigated the intensive mothering

and ideal worker ideals to construct good mothering as more delegatory
than hands-on, like the youngest cohort of mothers in Blair-Loys (2003)
study. This article adds that under extensive mothering, married mothers
redefined good mothering as being in charge and responsible for chil-
drens well-being when mothers are not providing that careas well as
limiting the infringement of employment on family life. Across marital
status, social class, and racial/ethnic background, employed mothers in this
sample justified their employment by referring to their own needs above
and beyond those of their children. All but four of the 40 employed moth-
ers spoke about the benefits of their jobs for themselves: enjoyment, self-
esteem, economic independence, and using their educational credentials.
Unlike Hattery (2001) who identified only three non-conformist moth-
ers, I found that the majority of employed mothers in this sample rejected
core tenets of intensive mothering. They constructed the good, employed
mother as more extensive than intensivedelegating caregiving tasks
while remaining ultimately responsible for children, and they justified
employment on the basis of their personal needs.
This study finds differences in how married and single mothers respond
to culturally dominant models of motherhood and employment. Single
mothers narratives reflect less accountability to the intensive mothering
model. Doing gender theory emphasizes that our accounts of our behav-
ior reflect not only what we do but also what we think we should be doing.
Quotes from married mothers illustrate that even when they rejected the
main tenets of intensive mothering, they remained accountable to them.
These married mothers felt embarrassed by not wanting to be the single,
primary caregiver (like Melissa), upset when their children developed a
closer relationship with their nanny than with them (like Sarah), or
somewhat defensive in explaining why they were not more intensive
mothers (like Elena). As suggested by Allison, married mothers greater
degree of choice over working for pay may have made them feel more
accountable to the demands of intensive motheringbecause their jobs
92GENDER & SOCIETY / February 2012

might not be necessary for their familys economic survival, they ques-
tioned whether they really should be spending more time with their chil-
dren and less time at their jobs.
In contrast, all of the single mothers in this sample had to work for pay
to support themselves and their children. We might then expect that
lower-income, married mothers, who had less choice over working for
pay, would express less accountability to intensive mothering ideals than
higher-income mothers; this was the case for Carma, who expressed no
reservations about spending long hours away from her children during the
work week. However, a few of the lower-income, married white and Latina
mothers expressed accountability to intensive mothering ideals, while none
of their African American counterparts did. The intersections of racial/
ethnic and class backgrounds in mothers narratives is an important topic
for future research and affirms the need for analyses of how women do
difference (Fenstermaker and West 2002) as well as do gender.
Thus, these mothers not only reframe what constitutes good mothering,
but also frame employment differently than mothers in earlier studies.
About one-third of the 40 employed mothers expressed some ambivalence
or guilt over their employment, but most employed mothers justified their
paid work by saying it made them more fulfilled people, in addition to bet-
ter mothers. Thus, these mothers are not only reframing what good mother-
ing entails, they also frame employment in ways different than do earlier
studies of mothers.
Recent studies of young women can help explain why many of these
mothers constructed extensive mothering as good mothering. Most of these
mothers said they always assumed they would combine paid work with
motherhood; mothers who grew up in the 1970s and 1980s during or just
following the Second Wave of the Womens movement likely internalized
its emphasis on womens equal opportunities in education and employment.
In addition, as Gerson (2010) found, many young adults in this study expe-
rienced instability in their own families of origin and saw their own mothers
enter the workforceboth of which highlight the importance of mothers
economic independence. Many young adults Gerson interviewed also lived
through their parents struggles with long work hours, and pledged not
to become this kind of ideal worker. She writes, Women now declare a
commitment to lifelong work that embodies ambition but rejects a single-
minded devotion to work (2010, 200). This may help explain why the
mothers in this sample emphasized the centrality of work in their lives, but
were unwilling to be ideal workers with unbounded work hours.
 Christopher / EMPLOYED MOTHERS CONSTRUCTIONS 93

The prevalence of an extensive mothering script could also be explained

by the diversity among the mothers interviewed for this study; as Collins
(2000) would suggest, almost all African American/Canadian mothers in
this sample drew from an extensive motherhood narrative. Extensive moth-
ering narratives were also common among Latina and white mothers, but
somewhat more varied among them. However, it should be stressed that
unlike several past studies in which only a minority of mothers rejected
core beliefs of intensive motherhood, extensive motherhood was the
prevalent script among mothers of all racial/ethnic and social class back-
grounds.
The unwillingness of these mothers to be ideal workers with unbounded
work hours is also noteworthy in light of Hochschilds (1997) claim that
mothers increasingly work long hours to escape stressful home lives.
Carma, and a few other lower-income employed mothers, worked in part
in order to get husbands to help out more at home, and many employed
mothers said that paid work provided them with a much-needed break
from caregiving. But none of the mothers here said they relished working
long hours, and all limited their work hours for their children (even when
they wanted to work more, like Melissa). Similar to the part-time, employed
mothers in Webber and Williamss (2008) study, some of these employed
mothers (Sarah and Melissa) altered their work hours after having chil-
dren. But others (Carma, Elena, Allison, and Alma) continued to work the
same number of hours, though they were unwilling to work the unbounded
work hours required under an ideal worker model. Future research on
motherhood should pay more attention to how mothers approach the ideal
worker model as relatively small, nonrepresentative samples like this one
(and Hochschilds) have found divergent patterns.
Regarding implications for gender equality, in some ways extensive
mothering is promising, as it relieves mothers from at least some of the
excessive time required by (and in many cases, the ambivalence and guilt
conferred by) intensive mothering. It is also a welcome change that more
mothers justify their employment by the benefits they themselves receive
from it, as well as those their children receive. But there are undoubtedly
class differences in mothers actual experiences of extensive mothering.
This can clearly be seen in Almas narrativeher low-wage job as a child
care worker meant she worked long, tiring hours but could not afford
babysitters, and the lack of help from a partner also contributed to her stress
and exhaustion. The narratives of Sarah, Melissa, and Carma suggest that
both resources and husbands participation can make extensive mothering
a more satisfying experience.
94GENDER & SOCIETY / February 2012

In addition, under extensive mothering the delegation of mothering

duties typically falls to other women (whether child care workers, relatives,
or nannies). This, combined with mothers ultimate responsibility for their
children under extensive mothering, reinforces traditional beliefs that
womennot menare the best caregivers of children. A more egalitarian
conception of motherhood would emphasize the role of fathers and other
family members in childrens lives. Just as important, because of the eco-
nomic devaluation of caregiving labor, all too often privileged women
participate in unequal economic relationships with less privileged car-
egiversoften women of color and/or immigrant women. Thus, for the
experience of extensive mothering to be empowering for more women, it
would also require challenging entrenched racial/ethnic and class inequal-
ities among women, including efforts to upgrade the pay and working
conditions of child care and housecleaning jobs.

NOTES

1. Canadian mothers were interviewed in order to explore how Canadian paid

leaves influence mothers employment and caregiving narratives; a separate arti-
cle explores this issue in detail, including how variations in the number and
length of paid leaves influenced mothers narratives.
2. All respondents were asked to give a detailed employment history and
how it changed after bearing children; their positive and negative parenting expe-
riences; their actual and ideal arrangements for employment, caregiving, and
household labor (and those of their partner, when present); their experiences of
paid or unpaid leave and other government policies surrounding employment and
caregiving; and brief family histories focusing on their parents employment and
how it influenced their own work/family decisions. All mothers were asked
whether they thought it was best for mothers with young children to stay at home
with children or work for pay, or if it depended on her situation, and why they held
these views. These latter questionsas well as mothers discussions of their own
actual and ideal employment and caregiving arrangementsrevealed mothers
constructions of good mothering for themselves, as well as for other mothers.

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Karen Christopher is Associate Professor of Women's & Gender Studies

and Sociology at the University of Louisville. Her research explores gender,
race, and class dynamics in the family, workplace, and welfare state.