Beruflich Dokumente
Kultur Dokumente
Lovemaking
Move Freely,
Enhance Your Sensuality,
and Prolong Your Intimate Occasions
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CONTENTS
Welcome in! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 3
About This Book - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 3
What Does This Program Do? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 3
What to Expect - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 4
The Origins of the Somatic Exercises - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 5
How Best to Learn the Somatic Exercises - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 7
Potent Tips - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 10
A Final Word Before Getting Started - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 15
How Often to Do the Exercises - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 16
The Special Use of Language for Learning Somatic Exercises - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 17
THE SECRETS
Learning the Grind of the Bump and Grind -- putting it all together - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 119
Introduction: The Grind of the Bump and Grind - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 121
Practice: Learning the Grind of the Bump and Grind - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 123
Secret: The Subtle Touch - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 127
Freedom to Spread Your Legs -- sometimes, you must close before you can open wide - 129
Introduction: Freedom to Spread Your Legs - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 131
Practice: Freedom to Spread Your Legs - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 133
Secret: The Transcendent Kiss - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 139
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DISCLAIMER
2
Welcome in!
There are two aspects to the orgasm muscles: how well you control
their movement and how well you feel them.
Of course, there is much more to the excitement of sex than the control
of muscles, but that control is a gateway to the buildup of feeling that
replaces mind and ego with bliss and thrills that wash through you in ecstasy.
Breathing
To breathe well makes all the difference in building up to strong
orgasms. It also makes possible controlling the time of orgasm and for creat-
ing orgasm waves -- those crests of intensity that take you to the edge every
time, but no further, until youre ready.
What to Expect
Generally, you may expect to improve your flexibility, strength, intensity
of pleasure prior to orgasm, control of orgasm, quality of orgasm, and your
ability to please your partner through your movements. As an added bonus,
your energy for movement in general is likely to increase.
Your first experiments with these somatic exercises will probably show
you your lack of control. Thats good; it means you have room to improve. As
you do these movements, you may find, at times, that what you think you are
doing and what you are actually doing are a bit different! Notice both what
you mean to do and what you are actually doing. Its not enough to mean to
do the movements; you need actually to do the movements as described.
With practice, you will find you can do the movements more exactly as
described, feel them more clearly, and get quicker improvements.
4 Deeper Lovemaking
Always regulate your effort to be within your comfort zone. Never force
movements, as you cant get their benefits by doing so. The most common
mistake people make is to use too much effort, which sometimes leads to
cramping. If you get a cramp, use less effort and lend more attention to what
you are feeling. Soon, you will no longer tend to cramp, even at stronger lev-
els of effort, and youll get more movement with less effort (feel stronger).
Work within your range of easy movement and you will find that that range of
movement increases by itself.
The Kama Sutra is perhaps the most famous of the ancient yogic texts
of sexual prowess. In it many techniques and positions are described.
Unfortunately, for many people, they lack the flexibility to do what the Kama
Sutra describes. This book fixes that problem.
6 Deeper Lovemaking
How Best to Learn the Somatic Exercises
Spend about a week with each of the exercises. Learn them. Its o.k. to
sample the later exercises if youre curious, but for learning purposes, stick to
one exercise at a time.
To get the most benefit from an exercise, go slowly enough to sense the
movement as you do it, using just enough effort to sense the movement, and
using only the muscles needed to accomplish each movement. That way,
you will continually uncover patterns of tension you have held without aware-
ness and be able to release them into a greater control and freedom. Practi-
cally speaking, the first time you do a movement, you are likely to need more
effort to sense muscles than you will with subsequent repetitions. Use as much
effort as needed to get a sensation (within your comfort zone), then decrease
the amount of effort as your ability to feel muscles awakens. Soon, you will be
able to distinguish the muscles that are essential to the movement and to use
only those.
Notice the first sensation of effort as you move from rest into action.
The earlier sessions prepare you for those that come later. To start, do
one new session several times within a week until its very familiar to you. After
youve done all the sessions, you may start over, review the ones you like best,
or master those in which you know you can improve. You will probably find it
beneficial to spend five minutes a day reviewing the exercises in the order in
which they appear, here. You may be surprised at the new improvements
you get with each pass through.
The somatic exercises often have several parts, which you add together
for greater potency. The simplest steps of the movement are numbered.
More advanced additions to movements appear as follows:
location of
sensation 1. (main instruction,
direction of basic level)
movement
angle 2nd level additional
indicator
movement cue
location of (intermediate level)
sensation
(underside)
3rd level additional
movement cue
(more advanced level)
8 Deeper Lovemaking
Adding the more advanced parts makes an exercise more potent, pro-
vided you are doing the basic part correctly. For that reason, it is necessary to
rehearse the basic part until you can do it easily, before adding the more
advanced parts.
After you have learned the movements of a session, refer to this guide-
book to refresh your memory of the finer nuances of the movements, which
boost their effectiveness.
Significant results come relatively quickly from doing the somatic exer-
cises. Make them part of your daily regimen. Enjoy a growing mastery of your
own physical (and mental) processes in the sexual act.
Why Gently?
Going gently calls for you to develop more care and awareness of
what you are doing. So going gently is not being lazy, nor is it a sign that you
are weak. It is a way of operating more carefully and attentively, and it is par-
ticularly valuable when confronting a challenge. It is a way of working
smarter, not harder.
In the sexual act, going gently sets the threshold of sensation at a low
level. That means that sensitivity is increased.
That being the case, how can someones being stretched (or adjusted
or massaged) by someone else possibly change the persons way of control-
ling their own muscles? How can a person internalize the change merely by
being manipulated from outside? To internalize a change requires learning
(to do for oneself), the need for which is neither recognized nor intended
10 Deeper Lovemaking
when being stretched by another. The changes that result from stretching are
therefore generally unpredictable, unstable, and short-lived.
As anyone who has had someone stretch their hamstrings (or any other
muscle) knows, forcible stretching is usually a painful ordeal. Because muscles
cannot relax and lengthen beyond what the conditioned postural reflexes
permit, attempts to stretch muscles work against those reflexes. Someone
stretches their muscles. The muscles resist. It hurts. Afterwards, the muscles
feel weaker. So they tighten up, again. This return of muscular tension (con-
trolled by conditioned postural reflexes) makes repeated stretching neces-
sary.
Fortunately, there is a way out of this situation, another way to deal with
muscular tension than by stretching. To understand how it works, we must first
start with the recognition that muscles that need stretching are usually holding
tension -- that is, they are actively contracting. The person is holding them
tense by habit, usually involuntarily and without awareness.
Oddly enough, if you try to relax muscles that are habitually tight, using
an act of will, you are likely to find that your ability to do so is limited; you can-
not relax past a certain point, even with special breathing, visualization, or
other non-learning based techniques.
At that point, you may assume that those muscles are completely
relaxed and need stretching. You may not recognize that you are contract-
12 Deeper Lovemaking
How It Works
By deliberately contracting already-contracted muscles, using patterns
of movement that duplicate the habitual tension pattern, these exercises
send a strong sensory signal to the brain, a signal that wakes up (or refreshes)
the related nerve pathways. By releasing the contraction in slow motion, you
re-awaken your brains ability to control the amount of muscular tension.
Slow motion gives a clearer and more complete body image and is the
key to developmental exercises and to any other learning process where
details make a difference.
Keep your attention at the place where you first felt the
sensation of effort as you go through the movement, from
contraction to relaxation.
14 Deeper Lovemaking
A Final Word Before Getting Started
You should know that there is a possibility of some soreness appearing
once you have started working with the exercises. Dont worry. Soreness is a
normal, but temporary, outcome for a certain percentage of people. It
passes by itself in a day or so. If you do get sore, give yourself a rest for a day,
then continue practicing that exercise sequence.
You may wish to have a partner read the instructions to you. Having
the instructions read to you helps you to go more deeply into the sensations
these exercises produce. To record onto audiotape may seem an attractive
option for some. Understand that with these exercises, timing is all-important,
and there is an art to producing pre-recorded verbal instruction in such a way
that the instructions dont interfere with your timing. If you want to try record-
ing the instructions, go slowly enough to allow yourself to feel the muscular
efforts involved. However, to have someone read the instructions aloud is
generally better.
The hardest part of this program will probably be to get started. So,
begin the program immediately by reading Preparatory Learning. Then do
the exercise. It will take you about five minutes.
16 Deeper Lovemaking
The Special Use of Language for Learning Somatic Exercises
In the instructions, certain terms have specific meanings. I define these
terms, below. To understand them once is sufficient -- no need to memorize -
- so take your time to understand and internalize them so you know what they
mean when they show up in the instructions.
20 Deeper Lovemaking
5. While holding,
slowly tilt your
head back (chin
up) and feel
shape marks location where the tension
of sensation goes, in your neck.
Pay special attention to
the place behind your
nose.
22 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
A very odd thing happens when muscle groups that ordinarily work
together get conditioned to maintain unequal degrees of tension. They get
stuck in unequal degrees of tension! Its as if the front wheels of a four-wheel
drive vehicle were turning harder than the rear wheels. Take your foot off the
accelerator pedal (reduce effort), they both slow down, but the front is still
turning harder than the rear (only slower), and the strain on the transmission
remains.
Next time you yawn, notice whats happening. Youre not relaxing the
muscles of your mouth and neck; youre tightening them! Its afterward that
you experience relaxation.
Orgasm is, in a certain sense, like the whole-body yawn; it begins with a
build-up of tension and ends with release of tension that leaves you more
relaxed than before and with a similar feeling of well-being.
Deeper Lovemaking 25
26 Deeper Lovemaking
Control of Orgasm
DRINKING THE NECTAR
27
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28 Deeper Lovemaking
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30 Deeper Lovemaking
That cleared up, lets take on the most pleasur-
able project of controlling sexual energy.
32 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
STARTING POSITION:
34 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
36 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
38 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
3. Swallow.
5. Exhale slowly.
40 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
42 Deeper Lovemaking
Wriggling
HOW TO DO THE DANCE
43
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44 Deeper Lovemaking
Wriggling
Wriggling 45
.
46 Deeper Lovemaking
Wriggling
In this movement:
NOTE: Use less than full strength; move in an easygoing way. Use the
minimum effort necessary to get a sensation and reduce the amount of
effort with each repetition.
Wriggling 47
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
STARTING POSITION:
48 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
4. Slowly relax
completely.
NO EFFORT
Repeat a few times until you feel where your waist tightens. Then,
continue to the next step.
Wriggling 49
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
3. Slowly relax.
NO EFFORT
Rehearse at least three (3) times until you feel the action at your
waist.
50 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
3. Balance the
two actions by
equalizing efforts.
4. Slowly relax
completely.
NO EFFORT
Wriggling 51
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
3. Equalize the
two efforts.
4. Slowly relax.
52 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
toes up
Wriggling 53
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
5. Exhale.
6. Equalize all
efforts.
NO EFFORT
7. Slowly relax.
54 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
Wriggling 55
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
4. Balance the
two efforts.
Feel your whole torso shift.
5. Slowly relax.
NO EFFORT
56 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
Wriggling 57
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
4. Equalize the
two efforts.
5. Slowly relax
completely.
NO EFFORT
Repeat a few times until you feel what the action does to the
position of your torso.
58 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
3. Equalize the
efforts.
Wriggling 59
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
60 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
8. Equalize the
shrug and
elbow-dig.
Wriggling 61
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
NO EFFORT
Straighten out and compare your right side to your left side.
Notice where they feel different from each other.
Then, switch sides and repeat the entire sequence for the
opposite side.
62 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
Wriggling 63
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
7. Exhale.
NO EFFORT
64 Deeper Lovemaking
Secret: Pacing Yourself
Doing things at the usual speed, we tend to do them in the usual way.
You may have noticed that you cant see much detail in things that
move quickly; its much easier to see the details of things that go slowly.
The slower you go, the more time you have to experience. As you slow
down and feel the sensations of movement, you feel more and move more
sensuously.
As you do the exercises slowly, you may even discover that you are
holding tension that directly interferes with the movement you are doing. At
that point, you can release the interfering tension. As you do, you will notice
your movement getting smoother, feeling more elegant and under your
control.
Heres another set of words that will have meaning once you start the
movement exercises: INTEND, ALLOW, DO.
Deeper Lovemaking 65
That means, Know exactly what you INTEND to do, get the distinct feel-
ing of ALLOWING yourself to do it (relax into doing it), and then, DO it.
66 Deeper Lovemaking
Twisting
FOR SEX IN FOUR DIMENSIONS
67
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68 Deeper Lovemaking
Twisting
Twisting 69
Begin with the amount of effort needed to
feel your effort and, with each repetition,
start with the least effort you can feel.
Work toward gentle.
70 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
Twisting 71
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
3. Slowly relax.
72 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
3. Slowly relax.
Twisting 73
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
4. Press it down
into the surface, lift
your chest and hold.
74 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
6. Balance the
efforts of buttock
and shoulder.
Twisting 75
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
7. While holding
shoulder and
buttock tight, take a
deep breath and
hold it.
76 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
Rehearse the movement at least three (3) times until you get
better at it.
Twisting 77
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
2nd level
Tighten the
bent-knee buttock.
78 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
Rehearse the movement at least three (3) times until you get
better at it.
Twisting 79
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
80 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
3. Slowly relax.
NO EFFORT
Repeat slowly at least three (3) times, noticing the first place
in your groin that contracts and the last place that relaxes.
Notice if you get a little farther, each time, without extra effort.
Twisting 81
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
2. Twist your
straight arm inward,
so that you feel your
shoulder lift and pull
toward the tight
place in your groin,
and hold.
82 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
NO EFFORT
5. Slowly inhale.
Twisting 83
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
2. Contract the
buttock and hold.
3. Press down the
bent-arm shoulder,
and hold.
84 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
6. Balance the
efforts of all four
extremities by
comparing one to
the other.
Twisting 85
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
NO EFFORT
Straighten out and compare your right side to your left side.
Notice where they feel different from and similar to each other.
A man can become aroused quickly and reach climax quickly, but if
he does, his intensity is diminished and his partner is disappointed. If he cant
regulate his passion, he may have a problem of premature orgasm (or of pre-
mature love-confession -- another problem that leads to disappointment).
Deeper Lovemaking 87
wait until the pull to kiss is positively magnetic before going in; wait until desire
and anticipation are really strong before removing clothing; after each
advance, back off and wait a little. Let anticipation build, then go further,
then back off and wait until the intensity builds, some more. Women, dont
wait too long or you may drive your man insane with desire and lose him alto-
gether. Learn to ride the edge.
There is a balance.
To feel when it is time, notice when you feel both the excitement of
passion and a sense of control. Ride the edge. Move forward until you feel
you are teasing the dragon, then take a step back. Allow the excitement
to build. When you can sustain it at will, build some more. Youll know when
you want to go for it.
88 Deeper Lovemaking
Spine Waves
SENSUOUS SPINAL UNDULATIONS
89
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90 Deeper Lovemaking
Spine Waves
Hidden Connections
Among the bodys parts, there are hidden
connections, in which movements of one part
elicit responsive movements of other parts. By
moving both parts together and feeling the
effort, we can reset muscular tensions that are
otherwise habitual.
92 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
Spine Waves
STARTING POSITION:
arms outstretched,
hands in line with
shoulders
IF NECESSARY FOR
COMFORT,
94 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
3. Equalize tensions at
the back of your
neck and mid-back.
96 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
5 press your head
down, and hold.
3. Equalize tucking
5 your chin and lifting
your breastbone.
5 4. Relax all efforts.
5. Breathe freely.
NO EFFORT
Repeat until you clearly feel the base of your throat constrict
and then open (about five (5) times at decreasing levels of
effort).
98 Deeper Lovemaking
Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.
Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.
This next move improves your control of the muscles that run
from the base of your throat, up through the back of your throat
(the front of your neck vertebrae), to the place behind your
nose. You may notice your mid-back relax in waves with each
repetition.
1. Inhale, breastbone
up, and hold.
3. Equalize the
sensations of the
front of your neck
and mid-to-upper
back by adjusting
the efforts.
Repeat this combination movement until you can clearly feel the
wave of tension move to the place behind your nose (about five
(5) times at decreasing levels of effort).
Now you are ready to involve the muscles of your low back.
9. Without changing
position, inhale.
NO EFFORT
Repeat until you feel your back flatten by relaxing (about five (5)
times, total, at decreasing levels of effort).
5
3. Gradually tighten
the small of your
back and hold.
5 the neutral position.
Repeat until you can feel your low back flatten a bit more
(about three (3) times, total, at decreasing levels of effort).
5 neck, and hold.
3. Gradually tighten
the small of your
back and hold the
shape.
5 neutral position.
5 let your back flatten.
3rd level
Locate the
place behind your
nose as you lie back.
5 and hold.
2nd level
Look up
toward your brow.
9. Equalize the
downward pressure
on your feet and
head.
2nd level
Lie back
slowly enough to keep
the back of your pelvis
snug against the
surface as you lie
back.
3rd level
Locate the
5 place behind your
nose as you lie back.
15. Relax all efforts and
breathe freely.
NO EFFORT
The flip side also holds true. When you are the object of attention, your
experience gets more intense.
The more attention you place on yourself and your sensations, the more
you will feel. Thats a clue for the control of sexual response.
In a way, its a sort of game: who can get their partners attention most
onto themselves. Its an alternating play, a balancing act. Played well, both
of you win.
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seated
hands on hips
When you touch your lover, how do you decide where to go, next?
Is it a matter of where you would like to touch, next, for the sake of your
own excitement, of getting to the next step?
If its the latter, youre faced with a quandary: How do you know?
If you can feel your own body-sense and then feel the space around it,
youre sensitized enough.
Lets try a little something. Bring your attention to your hand and feel
what it feels like, from inside. Feel your fingers, feel your palm, feel the back of
your hand, feel your wrist. Feel the shape of your hand.
Now, rapidly turn your forearm back and forth, back and forth, palm up
and palm down while feeling the space around your hand. Keep doing that
Keep that feeling, and bring your hand toward your other forearm. You
may notice that your forearm feels a kind of warmth and pressure as your
hand approaches, and your hand may feel a kind of pressure as it
approaches your forearm.
Activate The Subtle Touch when you are making love and, by passing it
over your lovers body, use it to feel the places that are sensitized. Youll be
able to tell by feel and be drawn there by the creative urge to give pleasure.
When you are more practiced, youll be able to feel your lovers sensa-
tions just be scanning him or her with your eyes and intending to feel what it
feels like in the place you are scanning, as if it were you you were feeling.
Add to that what you have learned from books (or others) and the
guidance your lover gives you, and you have an unusually sensuous
combination.
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YAB-YUM POSITION
sidelying
Continue until you distinctly feel the connection between the two
places.
3. Slowly relax.
7. Equalize the
efforts of lifting
your leg and
head.
The kind of kiss often shown in the movies, the open-mouth kiss, is only a
surface appearance. It may seem to portray desire and passion -- but usually
the way it is shown -- as a plunge -- misses the essence of kiss -- the mag-
netic attraction that pulls us toward our lover. At best, it can only imply it.
This magnetic attraction is only the first moment that draws us in. The
touch and press of lips is but the beginning of a deeper fulfillment, as we
merge in an absorption in which only intensifies as we feel the passion of our
partner and surrender to it in an emotional surge of desire and commitment
to kiss.
Thats not as far as a kiss can go. For as we kiss more deeply, we can
feel more than our own passion; we feel our partner, his or her essence. In our
love, we feel more deeply into her or him, we feel his or her being. We dive in,
not only physically, but in our feeling-attention, body and soul.
If we dive deeply, enough, we can feel that the sense of her or of him is
merged with our sense of ourselves, or more exactly, that we cannot tell
where we end and they begin. We can deliberately feel that feeling and
explore it. Now, dont expect words to be able to describe or explain it
beyond that. Youll have to pay attention during your next kiss. Its a feeling.
Once you have recognized it, you can go further. You can explore that
feeling with your loving intuition. Feel into it and expand your attention in
some direction and then in all directions. Soon, youll recognize that it has a
shape, size, and boundary. And what is beyond that boundary, what
encloses it, is beyond self, even the merged self of you and your partner in
kissing. It is the transcendent mystery that encloses us and exists outside of our
sense of all life. In some sense, it is the mystery that contains the entire
universe.
It is the same mystery that we may intuit in ourselves, as the place from
which our consciousness mysteriously comes, even the place from which we
came when we were born, if your mind and imagination are absorbed in the
kissing, itself, deeply.
The Transcendent Kiss is as deep as a kiss can go, as large as it can go,
and it discloses to us a mystery that penetrates deeper than our mind, our
feelings, our egos, our sense of ourselves as individuals, to the unnameable,
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NO EFFORT
3. Relax in place.
Thats your first working position.
6. Relax completely in
place. Do not move
out of position.
You have just done one
complete cycle. Repeat
in the same position
before locating the next
position.
5. As before, pull
the muscles of your
groin toward your
opposite hip.
7. Slowly relax.
SUMMARY:
knee down
head up
arm up
leg up
arm down
head down
leg down
relax
STARTING POSITION:
face forward
5. In that position,
slightly lift the foot of
that leg. Stay within
your comfort zone.
8. Contract both
buttocks and relax.
You have just done one com-
plete cycle.
Continue to locate
positions by progressively
straightening, contracting
and relaxing, until your
bent leg is completely
straight.
If you feel pressured or violated, you have a boundary; the more pres-
sured or violated, the harder the boundary.
Let me say that another way. If you feel highly pressured by someone
to do something, its because youre in conflict with your own desire to do
Own up to it. Feel it. Feel the resistance to it. Alternate feeling your
desire and resistance. The, teel both your desire and your resistance at the
same time. The feeling will be a familiar tension. Notice if that feeling of ten-
sion is voluntary or involuntary. Dont think about it; feel it. Then, decide
whether you want to keep that tension.
If you let it go, youll relax and discover a new sense of freedom without
feeling so pressured. Youll have better control of your boundary and your
ability to decide when you soften it. Youll have freer choice -- and a freer
ability to enjoy your decision.
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on your back
2. Slowly relax.
NO EFFORT
Repeat until you can sense the moment effort begins and the
place where it begins.
2. By pulling your
shoulder blades
together in back,
gently pull your
shoulders back into
the surface on
which you are lying.
3. Slowly relax.
NO EFFORT
Repeat until you can sense the moment effort begins and the
place where it begins.
2nd level
Feel the
5 place behind your
nose as you press.
5. Equalize the
efforts of head and
shoulders.
2nd level
Notice how
your low back feels as
you hold the head
and shoulder tripod.
2. By pressing down
with your feet, lift
your hips high.
6. Keep your
head up, let your
5 hips come down.
(See?)
nuff said.
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The Pelvic
Power Thrust
STARTING POSITION:
legs crossed
1. By tightening your
buttocks, spread your
legs so the sides of your
thighs press down.
2. Slowly relax.
3. Equalize the
amount of tension in
your buttocks, belly,
and neck.
2. Slowly relax.
4. Slowly relax.
6. Slowly relax.
Start with pressure at the opening of her vagina and just stay there. Feel
and let anticipation grow, then go for more.
Cause penetration to about one inch and rest there. Just feel. Wait for
the rush of feeling to subside, then go for more, rest and feel.
If the man penetrates to about half his length and waits, it gives the
woman the feeling impression that thats all there is.
At some point, when he is all the way in, the man can withdraw and
repenetrate, again, slowly and in stages.
One Asian sex teaching is called sets of nine. In sets of nine, the
man might penetrate slowly eight times and quickly once; then seven times
and quickly, twice; six times and quickly three times, etc. Then, he might art-
fully alternate numbers of slow and fast penetrations.
This variety gives the woman a chance to discover what she likes best,
so the man can go with that for as long as he and she like.