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2 months ago notes (0)

You could be perfect at the art of controlling your emotionswell nearly perfect. You could tell yourself
you know what you are doing. You could tell yourself you dont careor that you can decide how much
to. And perhaps you are not even pretending. Perhaps, over the years, you really have become rather
good at drawing the line, compartmentalizing, not really caring too much about too many things
anymore.

And then, while you are busy not caring, you realize you forgot to account for just how much of the
not caring is really a part of you, just how much of indifference can you really be ok with.

You happily traipse along life, wrapped in a secure cocoon of your detachment with people and
relationships, actions and consequences. And then your bubble of smug confidence, of the conviction
that nothing can really bother you because you dont really care - is burst by one small incident, one
phrase, one look - that you misread, perhaps.

You might still think you dont care. But the realization that you dont like the fact that the person in
front of you might not care as well - and that it bothers you - puts paid to that self-deception. And the
irony, your seeming control over your feelings and actions is probably what attracts those like-mined
people in the first place.

Two detached people should make fantastic partners isnt it? Rather strange then, that detached
relationships can sometimes be the ones that make you doubt yourself the most. That the absence of
interest can sometimes stir up the most intense emotions. That the lack of feelings can lead to the
most unexpected desires.

4 months ago notes (0)

"There are no individual statements, there never are. Every statement is the product of a
machinic assemblage, in other words, of collective agents of enunciation (take collective
agents to mean not peoples or societies but multiplicities). The proper name (nom propre)
does not designate an individual: it is on the contrary when the individual opens up to the
multiplicities pervading him or her, at the outcome of the most severe operation of
depersonalization, that he or she acquires his or her true proper name. The proper name is
the instantaneous apprehension of a multiplicity. The proper name is the subject of a pure
infinitive comprehended as such in a field of intensity."
4 months ago notes (0)

9 months ago notes (0)

Person A: I hate you. Leave me alone.

Person B thinks: Wow, this is someone who is in real pain. Come to me, youre in pain. And I want to fix
that.

And thats the destination. When you are able to decode your lovers most wounded, enraged,
frightened pronouncement and see beneath the vicious surface and see some of the vulnerability and
the niceness that is still there when its not seeming that way.

11 months ago notes (0)

You found someone who youre attracted to, who theyre attracted to, you both got time, and
the basic things are there and right. That already is an enormous achievement in our modern time. Our
society places huge emphasis on pairing up, but theres no direction of how to really go about it. And
its still so rare to be in a position to find someone, even vaguely, you might end up marrying.
A lot of us romanticize the idea of love. But we forget romantic love is at best 200 years old of
its origin. It was a function of love of that time period and environment. As it is still a beautiful idea to
believe in, its a troublesome ideology that tells us things like a lover will make you complete, a lover
will solve loneliness, a lover will be your best friend and everything to you. Its still so rare to find
someone who is in this position as you are. And with firm realization, its true that love is not just
feelings and enthusiasm. Most of us are taught to yearn for romantic love and that love is different and
trumps all. While I want to say yes, love is not just feelings and enthusiasm. Its a skill. And you
painfully learn that love is a skill about understanding one self, understanding the other person and
learning to communicate between the gulf that separates the two.
At the beginning, the thought is, you dont need to understand one self (because you think
youre easy to live with for instance), and that the other person seems easy to live with as well, and
you understand each other by intuition often by not speaking. And by just laying down next to each
other, you can sort of feel your way into someone elses soul. But love cannot work like that. To
communicate each others misunderstanding and unfamiliarity is to communicate, and that to us
seems unromantic.
Unromantic. To have to find the words to spell out aspects of one psyche is unromantic. This
is why we sulk and why the sulk has traditionally have an important role in romantic love. What is a
sulk? Sulk is fury when the other person doesnt understand something key about you, mixed with a
commitment to not explain what that thing is. So youre left with sort of blaming them for not
understanding you, but refusing to explain because that seems a betrayal of love. You refuse to
communicate whats wrong because you expect the lover to read through you and into your soul, and
just know what it is that is upsetting you. And to just know by knowing you that they should be able to
figure it out. But that is a childhood fantasy, in which the parents just knows whats wrong and knows
how to accommodate to those sorrows. Its extremely touching, but also dangerous.
The truth is that we need to learn to communicate that bridge but also become our own
advocates. In many ways, relationships are about teaching and successfully allowing each other to
teach without fury, bitterness, without a sense of being harmed or humiliated. But that demands such
patience and maturity on both parts. And once that is accomplished, its a great gift, an immense gift
of love.

11 months ago notes (0)

1 year ago notes (0)

We could all be gone in any minute. Dont judge so much.

1 year ago notes (0)

In the early years, I thought Republicans were like the father and the Democrats were like the mother.
The father espoused responsibility and fiscal sobriety, saving for a rainy day. The mother, caring, liked
to help the less fortunate as she wore her heart on her sleeve. Today, mother is scared, hiding in the
closet and father, who has brain tumor, prone to violence and paranoia, can no longer communicate
with mother. Welcome to suicidal ideations of societal divergence.

1 year ago notes (1)

1 year ago notes (0)

The best relationships are the ones where you exchange quaint smiles and soft eyes, with someone
you dont know too well.

Get to know each other just enough to understand the unfinished sentences, the vague references and
tangential thoughts. Do not try to read between the lines. Care for each other just enough to not cause
emotional heartaches. Do not run the risk of hurting yourself. Show each other affection just enough to
enjoy the silences between conversations. Beyond that, the silences will become the conversations.
Confide in each other just enough to share your passionate dreams, but not enough to talk about your
scars, your tears, your losses- your vulnerabilities. Enjoy each others company just enough to poke fun
at each others silly traits, but not to the point where that humor will be replaced by the bantering
short fuse we call irritation.

The best relationships are the ones that do not have

a name
a structure
an end

The rest are not relationships. They are expectations.

1 year ago notes (0)


Wander delicately, but passionately
Place one foot before your heart
And watch where you step

It could be someones home

Or all that someones known

Do not shatter the corridors, but seek doors

For this place is a temple. Take no torches
But adjust the eyes, for this place is forever thine.

Do no seek echoes in these caverns

For what returns is a different
Kind of darkness

Be thoughtful, but wander passionately.

Step with one foot after the other
And step with soul and go fourth all the same.

1 year ago notes (0)

I feel like you are so used to your features, that you dont even know how beautiful you look to a
stranger.
1 year ago notes (0)

Date a girl who doesnt read. Books will certainly not be the only companion she needs on most days.
In fact, she will have plenty of time to pander to the inflated position you give yourself in her life.

She will not read between the lines. Or expect you to. That will save so much of miscommunication -
and cut down on random musings, what-if conversations, unrealistic ideals.She wont get lost
between the pages - or travel to other worlds in her mind.

She will not expect you to read between the lines either. She will tell you like it is. So you know exactly
what she wants, what she needs. No more surprises - or the stress of having to keep the mystery of
your relationship alive.

She will not demand textbook happy-endings. She will know life for what it is - and quietly accept its
ground realities. She will not romanticize memories or goodbyes. She will not even look back to see if
you are looking back. You will be free.

She wont hold physical intimacy up as more than its meant to be. You wont need to look into her
eyes and whisper sweet nothings during sex. She wont sit and sulk if you dont hold her afterwards.
Sex will be sex. Nothing more. Perhaps a little less.

Vocabularies will be limited - so you wont need to watch what you say, or how you say it.

You wont need to know who Murakami is. What Richard Bach says about love. What Camus says about
life. Which Wodehouse book is her favorite. Or which Ayn Rand character fills her with awe.

You wont need to console her when her favorite character dies. Or put up with her restlessness as she
waits for the next book in the series she is currently immersed in.

She will not believe in magic. In impossible dreams coming true. She will be comfortable within the
limits life sets for her. She wont expect you to drop everything and go on a treasure hunt. Even if that
hunt starts from your couch with a hot cup of coffee. She will be content to just change the TV channel.

She will not look for the hero in you. You dont need to measure up. Her expectations are limited to
who you are. Not who she thinks you can be. With her, you wont need to strive to be a better man.
You can just be normal, everyday, ordinary, average.

Dont date a girl who reads.

She will demand passion. She will expect euphoria.

She will make you restless. She will make you illogical.

She will make you want more. Always. And that might make you uncomfortable.

1 year ago notes (0)

Ether
Im beginning to prefer silences. I prefer the sound of silence. Increasingly, conversations seem
meaningless.

We are always talking. Look around you, there is an endless hum of conversation. But most of the time,
no one is listening. Most of the time, we are only pretending to understand. Or care.

We talk - to fill gaps within moments. Uncomfortable, worried almost, about the silence that fills
everything so immediately, automatically. Like water filtering through sand. Making it to some - heavy,
muddy, unwieldy.

You say those gaps are claustrophobic. I say they are like a breath of fresh air. Unpolluted by
expectations. If you really let them, those gaps can set you free.

We talk to each other to avoid being questioned about our thoughts. We argue and fight - about things
that will hold no meaning for us by this time next month. We offer platitudes simply to maintain
cordiality. We exchange meaningless banter - so that we dont need to pay attention to the voices
inside our head. The voices that make us uncomfortable with their clarity of thought. Or the lack of it.

When was the last time you were truly honest with someone. When you told someone close to you
exactly what you thought, what you felt? Can you even remember? If you look back, do you see words
filled with stark honesty - or do you see sentences uttered to preserve peace, to spare the other
persons feelings - even if its at the cost of your peace of mind, at the cost of what you really want.

When was the last time you really, really poured your heart out?

Without fear of being accused of insensitivity

Without fear of ridicule and rejection
Without fear of being misunderstood
Without fear of the consequences

Without fear of being viewed as too opinionated, melodramatic, belligerent, stubborn, stupid, idealistic,
selfishI could go on.

Our tiny bursts of conversation are so easy. And they say so much. And sometimes, our mutual ease
with silence says so much more.

Its within these moments that I can tell my heart to just be. And my head, to shut up.

1 year ago notes (1)