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Amaya

Durnin - 20141733

Feedback for English: Year 1



Student name: James

Objectives Rating
Student has Comment:
brainstormed ideas for 0 1 2 3 4
a narrative that begins
with A long, long time
ago.
Student has composed Comment:
a sequenced piece of 0 1 2 3 4
text.
Student has accurately Comment:
spelt words with Does not understand the i before e
regular spelling concept. E.g. friend and tried.
patterns. 0 1 2 3 4 Student has sounded out words using
their phonological knowledge. E.g.
fone meaning phone. Did not grasp
for ph sound.
Student has used Comment:
capital letters for the A capital letter was used for the word
beginning of a 0 1 2 3 4 jungle in the middle of the first
sentence and full stops sentence.
and the end of a
sentence.
Student has shown Comment:
understanding of The letter w was written as a
uppercase and lower 0 1 2 3 4 capital in the middle of a sentence.
case letters. Student needs to understand how
to write a lower case w on lined
paper correctly.
Student has expressed Comment:
emotion through Student has used exclamation marks
characters of events 0 1 2 3 4 to demonstrate expression. E.g. we
that have occurred in went to the jungle and we had a
their piece of text.
good time, but we got lost!
This demonstrates the feeling panic
to the reader.
Total: 21/ 24
Key
0 = no understanding
1 = shows little understanding
2 = shows some understanding.
3 = understand most areas
4 = understands all concepts.

Commentary:

James, you have neatly demonstrated explicit knowledge of writing a narrative that contains
well sequenced events. Expression has been confidently shown through characters and
through your excellent choice of language. I especially like how you have used exclamation
Amaya Durnin - 20141733

marks to show the emotion of panic for the reader. In saying this, I would like to see you
working on your use of capital letters within your writing and only using them at the
beginning of sentences or for a proper noun. Although, I can tell that you have been working
hard on your spelling as you have spelt words using your sounding out strategy. Even though
some of the words are not correct, I can still understand the phonological knowledge used.

Overall, your drawing at the bottom is an excellent correspondent to your story, so beautiful
work! You have created a piece of work that represents an excellent understanding of
English and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future!

Best wishes,

Miss Durnin
Excel