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School, a place for learning, a place for struggle, and a place for great discovery. Elementary
school changed me, although I hadnt notice before at such a young age, it was the beginning to all my
learning adventures. I was born and raised in San Francisco, but at home I spoke mainly Chinese. It was
not until five did I start to speak the English language. I have a vague recollection about my English
learning journey, but I was told I was reluctant to speak English. Many phone calls were made to my
mother by the principal saying I am not qualified to be in school and that I should return to preschool. I
was given a test to recite the alphabet, but I had failed even that. It was then that my teachers and parents
started worrying; they didnt know whether I would be able to enter first grade. One day, a parent teacher
conference was held and I was in there with my mother. They had wanted to test my English language
ability one last time to determine if it was truly necessary to hold me back one year. My mom gave me a
stern look and said to me in Chinese that I had better do well or else I would have to be held back a year. I
took a deep breath and I recited the alphabet as quickly as possible. My teachers were baffled and asked
me why I hadnt done this the first time. I turned to my mom and said in Chinese that I didnt feel it was
necessary and that the teachers should speak Chinese instead of me speaking English. I did not feel the
need to speak English at that age because I felt it was not necessary for me to accommodate my teachers
and that it should have been the other way around. My arrogance made my moms eyes widen with anger
and lie to the teachers by saying I was sick that day. Before we left my teachers hoped that I would be
able to speak more English during class and that my mother should speak English to me at home. The
entire car ride back home was silent, but at that point I had thought I did a great job by performing well
during the test. Right when we entered the house, my mom started berating me. There was no end to it,
and I was afraid because for a week my mom picked me up from school and questioned whether I was
speaking English in class. After that day, I began an arduous journey in acquiring basic English literacy.
In addition I gained the knowledge to communicate with my mom. Until today I know to never speak to
my mom in such an arrogant and spoiled manner as that would only lead to her being annoyed. I believe it
was the lack of exposure to the outside world that made me behave in such an egotistical manner. The
main problem wasnt my incompetency in the English language but rather an inflated ego I had at that
time. I was not socially aware and didnt know how to communicate with people outside of my bubble,
additionally I was also hesitant about people entering and disrupting my bubble. Although it seemed as if
the main takeaway from being berated by mother was the beginning of my journey in acquiring English
literacy, the underlying acquisition was indeed the realization of a world that is beyond the boundaries of
my comfort zone.
Learning English was a difficult task, as I would always find myself disrupting class and sent to
the principals office. Even when I was aware of a world beyond my own, my six year old self was an
attention seeker that disregarded social etiquette. During recess, I would always play by myself by
jumping on benches and stealing other peoples garments and discarding them on the floor. During
bathroom breaks I would always bang on the bathroom doors when people were in the stalls and would
throw wet paper towels in them. I constantly seeked attention and wanted to appease my own desire. I
disregarded everyones feelings and put my enjoyment and pleasure above everyone else. That would
happen everyday and every night I went back home I would be scolded by my parents because they would
always get phone calls back home. I would always feel alone because I didnt receive approval from
either my parents or my peers. After a time of introspection, I realized it wasnt the peoples misfortune
that I enjoyed but rather their approval and attention. I wanted to be praised for my accomplishments
instead of being scolded for my rambunctious actions. As time passed I began to make more friends by
decreasing provocative behavior. I learned over time that one should behave in a well disciplined way at
school and in public. I had always seeked attention for my own enjoyment. I had lacked social
communication skills since I didnt know how to make friends and how to present myself. Over time I
had enhanced my social interaction abilities and was able to apply what I had learned to any public
setting. Not only was time necessary for any improvement in my conduct but also a great amount of effort
in order to change for the better. I did not have any role models to look up to, a path to follow, or even
guidance from any being. Through trial and error, and patience from my teachers am I able to more
My years in elementary school was a time of great importance and great personal discovery. To
an outsider it may seem that in school I was only able to acquire English literacy and be socially
competent. That to me is only the dermis of the immense amount of acquisitions. Being able to speak
English and communicate with people are only tools. The core and ultimately the drive for my successful
acquisition of English and social interactions originates in me truly being able to understand myself and
individuals and my own. I was lost and blindly lived life as each day approached. The world looked small
through my eyes but my perspective has changed as I was challenged by other peers. I had always lived
inside my own world and rejected any outsiders. There were no differences between the world I was
living in and an abyss because not only could I not see anything besides darkness, I couldnt even see
myself. There are no mirrors and I lacked the ability of introspection. Although introspection at a young
age is rather shallow, it is the ability of being able to identify who I was and what I longed for. Through
that I became self aware and understood the setbacks in myself. I purposely tried to hide from the reality
because I was afraid that the truth required me to change. The darkness was something that I imposed on
myself; it only required me to take away the blindfold that was obscuring the light.