Worl<"ag Through Con

Strategies for Rel.atonships, Groups, and O rganizatior

11I1
m
Working Through Conflict
 i
Workin q Through Conflict
Strategies for Relationships, Groups,
and Organizations

Seventh Edition

JOSEPH P. FOLGER
Temple University

MARSHALL SCOTT POOLE

University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign

RANDALL I<. STUTMAN

CRA, Inc.

Routiedge
Taylor & Francis Group

LONDON AND NEW YORK

First published 2013, 2009, 2005, 2001 by Pearson Education, Inc.

Published 2016 by Routledge

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ISBN: 9780205078431 (pbk)

Cover Designer: Karen Salzbach

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Folger, Joseph P.
Working through conflict : strategies for relationships, groups, and organizations / Joseph P. Folger,
Marshall Scott Poole, Randall K. Stutman.-7th ed.
p. cm.
ISBN-13: 978-0-205-07843-1
ISBN-10: 0-205-07843-5
1. Social conflict. 2. Conflict (Psychology) 3. Conflict management. 4. Social interaction.
5. Interpersonal conflict. I. Poole, Marshall Scott II. Stutman, Randall K. III. Title.
HM1121.F65 2013
303.6dc23
2011042277

Please visit the companion website at www.rout1edge.com/9780205078431

_i
To our parents:
Ed and Virginia
Ed and Helen
Bernie and Marge
 11! :
CONTENTS

List of Cases xi 1.3 Summary and Review 37

Preface xiii 1.4 Conclusion 38

Introduction 1
CASE I.lA The Women's Hoffine Case 2
CASE I.1B The Women's Hotline Case 3
I.1 Conflict Defined 4
I.2 Arenas for Conflict 6
I.3 Productive and Destructive Conflict
Interaction 8
1.4 Judgments About Conflict Outcomes 10
I.5 Plan of the Book 12
I.6 Surnmary and Review 12
CHAPTER 1
Communication and Conflict 14
1.1 A Model of Effective Conflict
Management 14
I.1.I Moving 7hrough Differentatio.n and
Integration I5
I.1.2 Taking the Middle Path: Moving Toward
Integration 19
I.1.3 Recognizing Destructive Cycles 21
1.I.4 Tacking Against the Wind 22
1.2 Properties of Conflict Interaction 23
I.2.I Property 1: Conflict Is Constituted and
Sustained by Moves and Countermoves During
Interaction 25
1.2.2 Property 2: Patterns of Behavior in Conflicts
Tend to Perpetuate Themselves 27
1.2.3 Property 3: Conflict Interaction Is Influenced
by and in Turn Affects Relationships 29
EXHIBIT 1.1 Confrontation Episodes Theory 30
1.2.4 Property 4: Conflict Interaction Is Influenced
by the Context in Which It Occurs 34
CASE 1.1 The Columnist's Brown Bag 35
CHAPTER 2
The Inner Experience of Conflict 40
CASE 2.1 The Parking Lot Scuffle 41
2.1 The Psychodynamic Perspective 41
EXHIBIT 2.1 Collusion and Intractable Conflict 44
CASE 2.2 Psychodynamic Theory and the Parking Lot
Scuffle 46
2.2 Emotion and Conflict 46
EXHIBIT 2.2 Verbal Aggressiveness 48
CASE 2.3 Emotion in the Parking Lot Scuffle 52
2.3 Social Cognition and Conflict 53
2.3.I Social Knowledge About Conflict and Conflict
Interaction 53
2.3.2 Social Cogntive Processes and Conflict 59
CASE 2.4 Social Knowledge About Conflict and the
Parking Lot Scuffle 59
CASE 2.5 Expectancy Violations and the Parking Lot
Scuffle 6I
CASE 2.6 The Role of Attributions in the Parking Lot
Scuffle 64
2.4 The Interaction of Psychodynamics, Emotion,
and Socia Cognition in Conflict 66
EXHIBIT 2.3 Trained Incapacites and Conflict
Interaction 68
2.5 Summary and Review 70
2.6 Conclusion 72
CHAPTER 3
Conflict Interaction 74
3.1 Stages of Conflict 75
3.1.I Rummel's Five-Stage Model 76
3.1.2 Pondy's Model 77
3.I.3 Stage Models of Negotiation 77
vi'
 viii i Contents

3.1.4 Insights of Stage Models of Conflict 77 4.6 Shifting Styles During Conflict
3.1.5 Multiple Sequences in Conflict 79 Episodes 124
EXHIBIT 3.1 Chartng a Conflict 80 CASE 4.2 College Roommates 125
3.1.6 Final Thoughts About Stage Models 4.7 Selecting Conflict Styles 127
of Conflict 80 EXHIBIT 4.1 A Procedure for Selecting Conflict
3.2 Interdependence 80 Styles 128
CASE 3.1 Stage Models and the Parking Lot Scuffle 81 4.8 Cultural and Gender Influences on Conflict
CASE 3.2 Interdependence and the Parking Lot Scuffle 83 Styles 131
3.3 Reciprocity and Compensation 83 4.8.1 Culturallnfluences 131
EXHIBIT 3.2 Can Conflict Competence Be 4.8.2 Gender Influences 133
Assessed? 85
4.9 Styles and Tactics in Practice 134
CASE 3.3 Reciprocity and Compensation in the Parking
CASE 4.3 The Would-Be Borrower 135
Lot Scuffle 87
EXHIBIT 3.3 The Tit-for-Tat Strategy 88 4.10 Summary and Review 136
3.4 Framing Issues in Conflict Interaction 89 4.11 Conclusion 138
CASE 3.4 Issue Framing and the Parking
Lot Scuffle 90
CHAPTER 5
3.5 Social Context and the Coordination
Power: The Architecture of Conflict 139
of Meaning 92
5.1 Power and the Emergence of Conflict 139
3.6 Social Identity and Intergroup CASE 5.1A A Raid on the Student Activity Fees
Conflict 95 Fund 140
CASE 3.5 Intergroup Conflict Oynamics and the Parking CASE 5.1B A Raid on the Student Activity Fees
Lot Scuffle 101 Fund 141
ExHIBIT 3.4 Counteracting the Negative Impacts
5.2 A Relational View of Power 143
of Social Identity and Intergroup
Conflict 102 5.2.1 Social Categorization 144
CASE 5.2 The Eccentric Professor 145
3.7 Summary and Review 103
5.2.2 The Mystique of Power 147
3.8 Conclusion 105 5.2.3 Interaction I48
5.2.4 Legitimacy 148
CHAPTER 4 5.2.5 Implications of Endorsement for Power 149
Conflict Styles and Strategic Conflict 5.3 Power and Conflict Interaction 149
Interaction 108 CASE 5.3 The Creativity Development Committee 151
4.1 Origins of Conflict Styles 109 5.4 The Use of Power in Conflict Tactics. 154
CASE 4.1 Conflict Styles in the Parking Lot 5.4.I Threats and Promises 155
Scuffle 110 5.4.2 Relational Control 156
4.2 What Is a Conflict Style? 111 5.4.3 Issue Control 158
4.3 An Expanded View of Conflict Styles 113 5.5 The Balance of Power in Conflict 160
4.3.1 Competing 115 5.5.1 The Dilemmas of Strength 161
4.3.2 Avoiding 116 CASE 5.4 The Copywriter's Committee 162
4.3.3 Accommodating 118 CASE 5.5 Unbaianced tntimacy 163
4.3.4 Compromsing 119 CASE 5.6 Job Resignation ata Social Service
4.3.5 Collaborating I20 Agency 164
5.5.2 The Dangers of Weakness 165
4.4 Determining the Styles of Others 122
5.5.3 Cultural Differences in Values Concerning
4.5 Pairings of Conflict Styles 123 Power 167
 Contents 1 iX

5.6 Working with Power 168 EXHIBIT 7.1 Identifyng Climates 2I6
5.6.1 Diagnosing the Role of Power in 7.1.3 Working with Climate 218
Conflict I68 CASE 7.2 Breakup at the Bakery 219
5.6.2 Fostering Shared Power in Conflicts I69 EXHIBIT 7.2 Climate and Predicting What
5.7 Summary and Review 173 Marriages Survve 221
CASE 7.3 The Expanding Printing Company 222
5.8 Conclusion 175
7.1.4 Working with Climate 223
CASE 7.4 The Start -Up 225
CHAPTER 6
7.2 Summary and Review 226
Face-Saving 176
7.3 Conclusion 228
6.1 The Dimensions of Face 177
6.2 Face Loss as It Relates to
Face-Saving 178 CHAPTER 8
6.3 A Threat to Flexbility in Conflict Managing Conflict 229
Interaction 179 8.1 Review of the Normative Model
CASE 6.1 The Professor's Decision I80
for Conflict Management 229
CASE 6.2 The Outspoken Member 180
CASE 6.3 The Controversia) Team Member 181 8.2 Navigating Differentiation 230
8.2.1 Framing Problems or Issues 231
6.4 Conflict Interaction as a Face-Saving 8.2.2 Rethinking How Problems are
Arena 185 Defined 233
6.5 Face-Saving Frames in Conflict CASE 8.1 The Psychological Evaluation Unit 236
Interaction 190 8.2.3 Cultivating a Collaborative Attitude 238
6.5.1 Resisting Unjust Intimidation 190 8.2.4 Moving from Differentiation
to Integration 239
6.5.2 Refusing to Give on a Position I92
6.5.3 Suppressing Conflict Issues I93 8.3 A Procedure for Managing Conflicts 241
EXHIBIT 8.1 A Procedure for Moving
6.6 Face-Saving in Other Cultures 194
Through Differentiation and
6.7 Face-Giving Strategies 194 Integration 241
EXHIBIT 6.1 Why do Meteorologists Never 8.4 Addressing Severe Challenges to Conflict
Apologize? 195
Integration 243
EXHIBIT 6.2 Disagreeing Agreeably 198
8.4.I Challenging Belief Systems That Escalate
6.8 Working with Face-Saving Issues 200 Conflict Responses 243
EXHIBIT 6.3 When Honor Can Kill 202 8.4.2 Moving Beyond Deep Transgressions Through
CASE 6.4 The Productivity and Performance Report 204 Forgiveness 245
EXHIBIT 8.2 Diagnosing the Public Expression
6.9 Summary and Review 205 of Forgiveness 247
6.10 Conclusion 206 8.5 Dispute Systems: Managing Conflicts
within Organzations 247
CHAPTER 7 EXHIB!T 8.3 What Type of a Dispute Resolution
System Does an Organization
Climate and Conflict Interaction 207 Have? 248
7.1 Climate and Conflict 208 8.5.1 Working with Organizational Dispute
Resolution Systems 249
CASE 7.1 Riverdate Halfway House 2II
7.1.1 More Precisely Defining Climate 212 8.6 Summary and Review 250
7.1.2 Climate and Conflict Interaction 214 8.7 Conclusion 252
 X 1 Contents
CHAPTER 9
Third-Party Intervention 253
9.1 Property 1: Conflict Interaction Is
Constituted and Sustained by Moves and
Countermoves During Interaction 254
9.1.I Third-Party Mandate 255
9.1.2 Responsiveness to Emerging Interaction 258
CASE 9.1 Organizational Co-Heads 261
CASE 9.2 The Family Conflict 262
CASE 9.3 Mediator Pressure and the Intransigent
Negotiator 265
9.2 Property 2: Patterns of Behavior in Conflict
Tend to Perpetuate Themselves 266
9.2.1 Third Parties and Conflict Cycles 266
CASE 9.4 Party Process Control 267
CASE 9.5 Neighbor Noise Problems 270
9.2.2 Third Parties and the Overall Shape
of Conflict Behavior 270
EXHIBIT 9.1 Third Parties, Differentiation,
and Integration 27I
9.3 Property 3: Conflict Interaction
Is Influenced by and in Turn Affects
Relationships 276
9.4 Property 4: Conflict Interaction
Is Influenced by the Context in Which
It Occurs 278
9.4.1 Third Party Roles and Ideologies 278
EXHIBIT 9.2 Transformative Mediation:
A Relational Approach to Conflict
Intervention 281
9.4.2 Third-Party Roles and Climate 282
EXH!BIT 9.3 Testing Your Own Ability to Intervene
Transformatively 282
9.5 Summary and Review 285
9.6 Conclusion 287
References 288
Index 310
LIST OF CASES
1.14 The Women's Hotline Case 2
I.1B The Women's Hotline Case 3
1.1 The Columnist's Brown Bag 35
2.1 The Parking Lot Scuffle 41
2.2 Psychodynamic Theory and the Parking Lot
Scuffle 46
2.3 Emotion in the Parking Lot Scuffle 52
2.4 Social Knowledge About Conflict and the
Parking Lot Scuffle 59
2.5 Expectancy Violations and the Parking Lot
Scuffle 61
2.6 The Role of Attributions in the Parking Lot
Scuffle 64
3.1 Stage Models and the Parking Lot
Scuffle 81
3.2 Interdependence and the Parking Lot
Scuffle 83
3.3 Reciprocity and Compensation in the Parking
Lot Scuffle 87
3.4 Issue Framing in the Parking Lot Scuffle 90
3.5 Intergroup Conflict Dynamics and the Parking
Lot Scuffle 101
4.1 Conflict Styles in the Parking Lot
Scuffle 110
4.2 College Roommates 125
4.3 The Would-Be Borrower 135
5.1A A Raid on the Student Activity Fees
Fund 140
5.1B A Raid on the Student Activity Fees
Fund 141
5.2 The Eccentric Professor 145
5.3 The Creativity Development Committee 151
5.4 The Copywriters' Committee 162
5.5 Unbalanced Intimacy 163
5.6 Job Resignation at a Social Service
Agency 164
6.1 The Professor's Decision 180
6.2 The Outspoken Member 180
6.3 The Controversia) Team Member 181
6.4 The Productivity and Performance
Report 204
7.1 Riverdale Halfway House 211
7.2 Breakup at the Bakery 219
7.3 The Expanding Printing Company 222
7.4 The Start-Up 225
8.1 The Psychological Evaluation Unit 236
9.1 Organizational Co-Heads 261
9.2 The Family Conflict 262
9.3 Mediator Pressure and the Intransigent
Negotiator 265
9.4 Party Process Control 267
9.5 Neighbor Noise Problems 270
xi
 PREFACE
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THE STUDY OF CONFLICT

The main objective of the seventh edition of Working Through Conflict is to provide a
summary and synthesis of social science research and theory on conflict. It offers students
of conflict a review of the core concepts and theoretiical frameworks that enhance an
understanding of human behavior in a wide range of conflict situations. The research and
theory covered in this book reflect the many social scince disciplines that have
contributed to the study of conflict.
Although it takes an interdisciplinary view of conflict, this book emphasizes under-
standing conflict as a communication phenomenon. It assumes that conflict is something
that people create and shape as they interact with each other. Sometimes conflict interaction
is immediate and face to face. In other instances, it is played out in a series of moves, actions,
and responses that occur over time and in different places. This book highlights the
interactive nature of conflict, no matter what form it takes. This focus on communication
means that readers gan an appreciation for how mutual influence occurs, how language
and message choices shape conflict, and how patterns of behavior and the structure of
human discourse create important dimensions of any unfolding conflict.
In addition, Working Through Conflict offers a road map for how theory and research
can be used to understand and influence conflict dynamics in everyday life. The field of
conflict management is supported by a long history of useful research and theory that
form a basis for a wide variety of conflict management work. This book demonstrates
how conflicts across settings can be understood by seeing them through a range of theo-
retical lenses. It illustrates how students of conflict can begin thinking and acting in ways
that can have profound effects on the dynamics of difficult conflicts.

NEW TO THIS EDITION

Several changes have been made to help strengthen the seventh edition of Working
Through Conflict and to incorporate helpful suggestions from those who have read prior
editions.
We have revised this seventh edition of Working Through Conflict to reflect the latest
literature on conflict and to explore several neglected areas in prior editions. We also
clarified and expanded certain discussions to make this the most user-friendly edition to
date, with additional case studies, tables, and exhibitions to apply theory to practical,
contemporary topics. Here are the highlights of the changes in this seventh edition:
Updated citations and inclusion of new literature throughout the volume.
Expanded coverage of face-saving across cultures in Chapter 6, including new
discussions of the relationship between face and honor and the dangers of
honor-related violence.
XIII
Xiv 1 Preface

Discussion of practical ways to support face-saving by learning the skill of

"disagreeing agreeably. "
A streamlined and revised Chapter 7 on climate and conflict. This chapter includes
discussion of leadership and climate, as well as a depiction of the characteristics
of positive and negative conflict climates. The concept of climate is applied to
intimate relationships in this chapter by drawing on Gottman's research on marital
relationships.
New case studies have been added to Chapters 7 and 9.
Chapter 8 includes a discussion of the role forgiveness plays in bridging deep and
long-standing transgressions in conflict.
n Chapter 9 includes more material for students to examine their own ability to
intervene as a medator.
We have updated references to research and theory throughout the book to capture
the most current thinking about the topics covered. In many instances, we retain older
references because they point to core work in the field that has served as the foundation
for more recent studies. Current developments are important, but we believe that stu-
dents should also be aware of the field's conceptual roots as represented in classic conflict
literature.
We consider conflicts occurring in a wide range of arenas, from intimate relationships,
marriages, and friendships to group, inter-group, organizational, and negotiation settings.
This added breadth makes the book suitable as a primary text for courses in conflict and
conflict management, as well as a useful supplement to courses that devote substantial
attention to conflict or third-party work.
The title of this book is an intentional double entendre. Because its major emphasis is
on communication patterns people use when attempting to manage conflict, we hope
that the book will help people successfully work through difficult conflicts. The book is
also built on the assumption that effective work is often promoted by the emergente and
productive use of conflict. It is our hope that this book will encourage and assist people to
confront their conflicts and to work through them creatively rather than suppressing or
superficially "resolving" conflicts.

DEVELOPING THEORY-BASED INTUITION

It is often said that people who are good at their work have excellent intuition. Usually
this means that they instinctively make good decisions and employ effective strateges to
create change or accomplish productive objectives. Intuition is often assumed to be
innateit is seen as a gift that some people have. But in most cases effective professional
intuition comes from a broad background of knowledge, study, and experience gained
over time. Working Through Conflict is written for those who want to develop good intu-
ition about how to react, interact, and intervene in conflict situations. Conflict is usually
complexit is often multilayered, steeped in a history of events, and shaped by diverse
perspectives and understandings. As a result, having good intuition about conflict starts
by mastering a broad repei toire of ideasideas that create different possible explanations
for why conflict interaction moves in destructive or constructive directions.
Working Through Conflict covers a wide range of essential concepts and theories that
clarify the practical implications for managing conflicts in relationships, groups, teams,
 <r,

Preface 1 XV

and organizations. It is a primer for those who might want to pursue professional work in
the conflict management field as mediators, ombudspersons, facilitators, or conciliators.
It can also help build a strong intuition in those who deal with cnflict daily in work and
professional settings and in those who want to have an impact on conflicts in their
personal lives within families, romantic relationships, marriages, and friendships.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
We thank Montana Rozmus for help with research and background work for the seventh
edition. Once again, we owe our greatest debt to our colleagues at the Center for Conflict
Resolution in Madison, Wisconsin. We are very grateful to Lonnie Weiss for her insight
and help with our analyses. We also th.ank Syd Bernard, Jim Carrilon, Jay Herman, Jan
Shubert, Rick Sloan, Dennis Smith, and Kathy Zoppi for their responses to parts or all of
the manuscript. In additon, we turned. to Betsy Densmore, Robert Everett, and Tommy
Vines for an evaluation of the manuscript from a managerial perspective. We also thank
Linda Klug, Jean Kebis, and Wayne Beach for supplying the transcript of interaction in
Chapter 6.
The excellent editorial and production staff at Pearson including Megan Sweeney,
Stephanie Chaisson Anne Ricigliano, Lisa Sussman, Jeanne Zalesky, Karon Bowers, and
Liz Napolitano have greatly assisted with the production of this volume.

JOSEPH P. FOLGER