Marianna Mercer

Dr. Cho

C&T 598

29 June 2017

Cross Cultural Exercise Balancing Differences through an Open Mind

I never truly had one moment in which I thought oh, this is culture shock. Absolutely.

This is it. This is what people warned me about. No, it was never staring me outright in the face.

It was more of a lifestyle and society I didnt realize I was becoming more fully immersed in

until I did not notice the oddities anymore. Reflecting, now, I can see where the culture shock

was surely present, I just did not want to admit to it at the time.

The reality of how my thoughts oppose the Korean cultural norm is most blatantly

noticed through my reaction to traffic. Beginning to cross the street by E-Mart on a walk sign, a

car continued to turn right anyway. Excuse me I said quite sardonically, and louder than I

realized, for a lady next to me apologized and moved out of the way. I was overcome with regret

at my loud statement and tried to explain to her that it was the car, not her. I could only hope she

understood. This occurrence made me realize the assumptions that I had going into this trip the

pedestrian has the right of way and road rage is quite acceptable. To Koreans, however,

crosswalks are ambiguous territory and they do not complain about the traffic, but simply make

their way through it by asserting their presence.

I thought it was crazy, at first, that cars do not stop. However, I see myself growing

accustomed to this norm although I could never see myself driving here I understand better

why Koreans are not alarmed by this practice. I can think of many other cultural norms that I no

longer second guess bowing in greeting, handing a card back with two hands, sharing meals,
denial of compliments, and proper subway etiquette to name a few. Now I have had time to

think these common cultural reactions through, trying to understand their purpose in a society. I

have come to respect all of them and even question why such norms are not prevalent in the

U.S. The commonality of sharing meals, for example, is ingenious to me, and I wish that this

practice was carried over to American restaurants.

Analyzing different Korean cultural habits and responses helped me to better understand

American society, in a way. Through these smaller cultural expectations, I could begin to better

understand the major differences between a homogenous country, such as Korea, and one with

much more diversity: Americas. With this factor in mind, even the differences in meal practices

begins to make sense. On a larger scale, I could even begin to understand the amount of stares I

would get, as a foreigner. As this is one cultural norm I did not anticipate to be as blatant as it is,

it was harder to accept or attempt to comprehend. However, the smaller cultural differences led

to an ability to replace my mindset with anothers, attempting to see through their eyes instead.

Considering cultural differences helped this mentality to grow the idea that two people

look upon the same reality, the same example of behavior, and see two entirely different things.

This occurred to me when I was discussing my life as a foreigner as a student. She said, Since I

know you, I dont stare. But if I didnt know you, I probably would, since youre not from here.

I nodded, and then she continued, But dont you stare at foreigners in the U.S.? What do you

think of them there? It hit me that she did not know the reality of a more diverse society, and

thus the idea of staring unabashedly at a foreigner seemed normal to her. Vice versa, my often

indifferent reaction to foreigners in the U.S. may seem outlandish or at least, odd, to her.

Whereas I immediately responded to the stares with a defiant attitude, time assured me that

cultural differences provided reason for this occurrence. Although I still may have trouble
accepting it, I can attempt to shift my mindset to theirs and better understand the outlook of a

homogeneous society looking on at an American foreigner.

Another cultural norm I found unusual is the lengths that Koreans go to, to save face.

Passive-aggressive comments are not a rarity, rather, common, and I have observed many

between staff members and students in passing. However, despite their passivity in the areas of

performance, timeliness, orderliness, and so on, they will often be very blunt with ones outward

appearance. For example, one of my peers related a story of their native teacher being told, You

probably shouldnt wear that shirt again. Or abruptly being asked, Are you more tired today?

Similarly, a student told me that her friends mother complimented her appearance by saying,

you look prettier now than you did before! These remarks I see as rude yet, from what I have

gathered in my short time here, these are words that show concern or care for another person. As

it is usual for Koreans to ask, have you eaten? as opposed to my norm of how are you?, so

they display worry for your physical appearance and therefore physical health and emotional

well-being. With this understanding, I can better accept the comments I view as incredibly blunt,

as well as see more clearly a society of high respect that avoids negating face.

I have found that one of the most significant aspects of cross cultural adjustments has

been that of managing encounters with English fever in Korea. This is relevant for interactions

both in and outside of Kyunghwa High School. Given the idealism of native English, it is

difficult at times to encourage students in their own English. It is extremely important to avoid

ethnocentrism in this situation, encouraging and asking about Korean culture as I am bombarded

with questions about America. I think its critical that they are aware of the faults of other

societies, including the U.S.s, as well. As for their English, I want their confidence to be built on

their ability to successfully communicate with native speakers, regardless if their English
matches ours or is true to the book. I tried to emphasize that even my English is not perfect,

and it is my first language. In addition, I praised their abilities by saying over and over that their

second language acquisition is impressive, especially compared to my extremely limited

multilingualism. With this mindset, I tried diligently to avoid the our way is better viewpoint

and instead take Korea as it is, discovering the new with an open mind. Even though there are

many aspects that I immediately compared to the American ideal, I grew to adjust my mind to

that of another cultures and was able to make much more lasting and powerful connections as a

result.