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Female Hormone Cycle

It may seem hard to believe, but with the Hormone Horoscope, you can predict what
your day will be like based solely on where you are in your monthly menstrual cycle.
For instance, on Day 5 (which is 5 days from the onset of your period), youll notice a rise in
pep and a desire to make social plans. On Day 10, youll be talkative and want to break out of
old ruts and try something new. On Day 13, youll have romance on your mind and
experience a boost in memory. On Day 22, youll be hit with food cravings and be a bit more
cautious. And on Day 26, youre spotting swerving cars and other dangers faster.
How can the day youre on in your menstrual cycle reveal so much about your thoughts,
emotions and behaviors?
Its simple: Research shows that the three key hormones that rise and fall throughout your
monthly cycleestrogen, testosterone and progesteroneaffect your mood, energy,
memory, romantic life, chattiness, extroversion, shopping habits, food cravings and virtually
every other part of your day.
Because these hormones follow the same up-and-down pattern cycle after cycle and influence
you the same way month after month, it means you can predictwith scientific accuracy
what these hormonal effects will be every single day.
As a result, youll be able to plan your life so you can capitalize on hormonal strengths
and compensate for hormonal weaknesses.
For example? Youll know which days youll be feeling upbeat and sociable (so youll know
when to schedule parties and grab your girlfriends for a night out). Youll know which days
youll be thinking faster on your feet and your memory and verbal skills will be peaking (so
you can know when to ask for a raise or present a big pitch to a client). Youll know when
your desire for romance and passion will be highand when theyll drop (so you can plan
dates accordingly). And youll know so much more.
Heres a quick week-by-week Hormone Horoscope guide that reveals just a few of the
many ways your hormones are impacting you right now:
Week 1
Day 1 (first day of period) to Day 7
Estrogen rises
Your Hormone Horoscope: During this week of your cycle, estrogen starts out at rock-
bottom and begins a steady climb. Once you get past the achy, fatiguing part of your period,
this rise in estrogen will be boosting your energy, mood, optimism and brain skills. It also
makes you chattier and pushes you to connect with others both socially and romantically.
Rising estrogen has a slight appetite-suppressing effect, which makes it a bit easier to eat
smaller portions and opt for healthier foods throughout this week and next week of your
cycle. In general, youll find that as the level of your estrogen increases, you get a bit more
curious about the world around you, want to have fun, enjoy shopping and prefer to be out of
your home and among other people.
Week 2
Day 8 to ovulation (which is Day 14 in a 28-day cycle how to tell when youre ovulating)
Estrogen and testosterone rise till they peak
Your Hormone Horoscope: Estrogen continues to rise throughout your Week 2, amping up
all the positive effects you experienced during your Week 1. So, youre likely to be more
upbeat, optimistic, chattier and confident, plus have a sharper memory, be thinking faster on
your feet and pondering romance far more frequently. The high level of this hormone is also
making you more self-assured about your appearance. And, in fact, estrogen is actually
boosting your attractiveness by prompting subtle shifts in soft tissue that make your facial
features slightly more symmetrical. High estrogen triggers a greater output of pain-masking
endorphins in the brain, which means uncomfortable activitieslike getting a dental cavity
filled or breaking in new shoeswill hurt less this week than during other weeks of your
cycle.
While there are lots of benefits to enjoy about a high level of estrogen, there is one downside
to be aware of: It can amp up anxiety, making you prone to stressing out over issues big and
small.
One other hormone thats key in your Week 2 is testosterone, which rises during the latter
part of this week. And when that happens, it tends to make you more impulsive, daring and
competitive. Its also prompting a sharp spike in your libido and makes your orgasms more
intense and easier to achieve.
Week 3
Begins the day after ovulation and lasts 8 days (Day 15 to Day 22 in a 28-day cycle)
Progesterone rises; estrogen and testosterone drop for half the week, then estrogen rises
again
Your Hormone Horoscope: The first half of your Week 3 is what I call your pre-PMS
phase. The symptoms are like a less intense version of premenstrual syndrome (PMS): They
may include irritability, fatigue and a down mood. Like PMS, pre-PMS is also caused by
plunging estrogen. (While most women are aware that estrogen plunges once in their cyclein
the days before their periodnot many realize there are actually two estrogen dips every
cycle. See the graph above.) Luckily, by the second half of your Week 3, estrogen rises again,
putting a stop to any annoying pre-PMS symptoms youve experienced, which helps level out
your mood.
Another important hormone in your Week 3 is progesterone. All throughout this week,
progesterone rises, which can make you sleepy, quiet, less interested in socializing and more
cautious. Its also dampening your libido and triggering cravings for ooey gooey comfort
foods rich in sugar, fat and salt. If youre sensitive to progesterone, this hormone can make
you a bit blue. Progesterone can also trigger some forgetfulness and fogginess and make it
more difficult to speak eloquently. As a result, you may not recall the exact word you want to
say or you may pause in the middle of sentences as you talk.
Week 4
Final 6 days of your cycle
Estrogen and progesterone plunge
Your Hormone Horoscope: As estrogen plunges during this premenstrual week, it can
trigger moodiness, the blues, muscle aches, insomnia, headaches, fatigue and a wide variety
of other PMS-related symptoms. Not every woman suffers from premenstrual syndrome and
symptoms can be milder or more severe from month to month often due to diet, stress,
medications, exercise habits or your bodys personal sensitivity to hormones.
But, its not all bad news. In fact, this week your libido returns, though technically thats not
due to hormones. Researchers believe its because nerve endings down below get stimulated
as your body prepares for menstruation.
Also good to hear: This week, treating yourself to your favorite indulgences is actually
medicinal! Why? As estrogen plunges, it depletes your brain of mood-boosting chemicals,
leading to irritability and negativity. But, when you take a bubble bath, watch a much-loved
movie, go for a walk or do anything else you enjoy, it gives a temporary boost to these
happiness-triggering brain chemicals, making you calmer and more upbeat.
LEARN MORE! To find out the many other ways your hormones are impacting you every
day of your cycle, subscribe to the free Hormonology Newsletter.
GET THE APP! The Hormone Horoscope App is a menstrual cycle tracker that delivers a
Hormone Horoscope every day of your cycle. Download it from iTunes or Google Play.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
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Women's Hormones
November 12, 2000 | 134,528 views
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By I. Michael Borkin N.M.D.
Originally Published in Alternative Medicine, Issue 37

Female hormonal health is not just related to menstruation and menopause - it is a
matter of lifelong well-being and longevity
While a great number of women in our culture develop some kind of sexual reproductive
organ dysfunction, most are misled about true sexual and reproductive health and what
options exist to achieve it. People tend to think of women's "hormone problems" as starting in
midlife with the onset of menopause. In fact, a dysfunctional pattern can begin during
adolescent years or even before birth. The severity of hormonal problems may increase with
age, but it is not aging per se that is the root of declining health. It is most often the
cumulative physiological effects of stress that cause disruption of the natural rhythms and
balancing mechanisms of women's hormones (see Quick Definition), thereby eventually
compromising overall health as well as sexual and reproductive health.
Quick Definition - Sex and stress hormones are chemical messengers formed in endocrine
organs and certain body tissues and then carried in the blood to other areas of the body.
Depending on how specific their effects, hormones can alter either the functional activity or
the structure of one or more organs. Synthetic hormones are different from naturally
occurring hormones; they are structurally altered (so as to be patentable).
Allopathic (conventional) medical thinking fails to look for or treat the root causes of
women's hormonal imbalances. For example, more young women today are experiencing
infertility because they are not ovulating, yet they are being given fertility drugs like Clomid
without comprehensive hormonal evaluations. Though these women often succeed in
conceiving, they generally end up paying a price for short-sighted symptom management.
The future health consequence is that other symptoms will appear and hormonal imbalance
will progress.
Similarly, women are led to believe that it is normal to experience distressing menopausal
symptoms. They anticipate having to accept the conventional treatment choice of hormone
replacement therapy (HRT) with synthetic hormones. Women are encouraged to do this in
spite of the fact that estrogen supplementation places them at risk for breast cancer and
other serious health problems. HRT and fertility drugs -- as well as birth control pills and
other hormonal therapies -- were all designed to treat only specific symptoms with no regard
for the effects they have on the entire body. Because of this non-holistic approach, we are
seeing an increase in the incidence of not only breast cancer and sexual reproductive organ
dysfunctions but also uterine and ovarian cancer.
Another problem with conventional HRT is that it generally employs the wrong forms of
estrogen and progesterone. Synthetic estrogens or the estrogens that are excreted in pregnant
mare urine are often used. And of the three estrogen hormones (estradiol, estriol and estrone)
found in women's bodies, most conventional pharmaceutical products use only estradiol.
Many HRT formulas also contain synthetic progestin (as opposed to natural progesterone),
which is included to help balance the effects of synthetic estrogen. Yet an artificial hormone
cannot function in concert with another artificial hormone to create balance in the body.
Worse, these HRT formulas ignore the increasingly common wisdom that it is
progesterone deficiency -- not estrogen deficiency -- that leads to early or difficult
menopause and many other health problems affecting women.
A lot of women are discovering that conventional HRT does not give them the overall health
and well-being they had hoped for, and they are seeking out healthier alternatives. What
everyone will hopefully soon realize is that menopausal and sexual reproductive problems are
actually symptoms of overall hormonal imbalances. Women need to get a complete picture of
their hormonal status and find appropriate therapeutic steps to maintaining balance.
Meanwhile, millions of women continue to experience dysfunctions such as PMS,

depression, decreased libido, fibrocystic breasts, food and sugar cravings, uterine fibroids,
irregular or excessive uterine bleeding and endometriosis (see Quick Definition below).
Those whose dysfunctions are extremely painful or debilitating are told that their "health is
more important than their reproductive organs" and that "a hysterectomy would be the best
thing." Unbelievably, an estimated trillion-plus dollars was spent during the twentieth century
to remove women's reproductive organs. Hysterectomy now out-numbers almost all types
of surgery performed in the U.S.
Reproductive organs play an important role in more than reproduction. Many studies show
that each aspect of the female sexual anatomy serves an integral part in the health and well-
being of the entire body. Each function is part of the whole, part of a system, or symphony, of
interrelated parts and timing.
The Endocrine Interplay
What needs to be understood is that, for example, if a woman's thyroid or adrenal glands are
depleted or functioning inadequately -- a fairly common occurrence in our stressful culture --
she will likely experience problems with her sexual reproductive organs. The connection
between these organs and the thyroid, the adrenals and other endocrine glands is that they are
all governed by endocrine hormones. This is an important interrelationship, which is why
what disrupts one gland can disrupt another, causing a kind of domino effect or vicious cycle.
The immune system and the thymus are involved, too, because immune response is inhibited
by abnormal hormone levels.
The endocrine system (see below) is responsible for homeostasis, the body's ability to
maintain stable internal conditions, including body temperature, regardless of changing
external conditions. Balance is crucial to all life processes. The body functions within very
specific margins, and being forced to function outside of those margins can cause a whole
series of negative events, even death. The endocrine system also controls the processes of
reproduction, metabolism, growth and development.
The Endocrine System and the Female Cycle
The endocrine system regulates the body's major continuous and prolonged processes,
including reproduction; growth and development; cellular metabolism and energy; blood
balance of nutrients, electrolytes and water; and the mobilization of body defenses against
stressors (things that cause wear and tear on the body's physical and mental resources). It is
made up of eight different glands located strategically throughout the body:
ovaries (in men, the testes)

adrenals
pancreatic islets
thyroid
parathyroid
pineal
pituitary
hypothalamus, which is also part of the nervous system
Besides these major organs, the system includes pockets of hormone-producing cells in
tissues in the small intestine, heart, kidneys and stomach. The endocrine system develops and
begins producing hormones by the end of the second trimester of fetal development.
In the order of endocrine command, the hypothalamus is the body's CEO, orchestrating the
events of the rest of the endocrine system. The hypothalamus controls autonomic reflexes
(such as the activity of the heart and smooth muscles), and it houses the body's "thermostat"
and biological clock, which maintains the body's rhythm of 24-hour sleep-wake cycles. The
somewhat mysterious pineal gland also has a role in biological timekeeping, being an organ
sensitive to retinal response to light. The pineal gland, believed to coordinate fertility
hormones, produces melatonin, the hormone known for its sleep-triggering ability.
The hypothalamus also initiates part of the adrenal stress response,causing the pituitary to
secrete the hormone that travels to the adrenal glands to stimulate secretion of cortisol,
DHEA and aldosterone. The hypothalamus also initiates the female cycle by producing
gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH), which signals the pituitary to secrete follicle-
stimulating hormone (FSH). FSH stimulates the ovaries to secrete estrogen, the sex hormone
thatstimulates development of breast, uterine and ovarian tissue (and in synthetic HRT forms
is associated with excessive cell growth that leads to cancer).
When estrogen reaches a certain level, it signals the hypothalamus to trigger the pituitary to
secrete luteinizing hormone (LH). Estrogen levels then fall, while the level of LH rises and
peaks (around day 14 of a 28-day cycle), stimulating ovulation, the release of an egg from its
ovarian follicle. After ovulation, the follicle (now called the corpus luteum) is filled with
cholesterol, which is converted first to pregnenolone and then to progesterone. This newly-
made progesterone is used in part for the building up of the uterine lining. If after about 13 to
15 days the egg is not fertilized, the uterine lining is sloughed off (in menstruation) when
both estrogen and progesterone levels drop.
Both estrogen and progesterone are necessary in the female cycle, and their balance is
key for full health. Many women in our culture have an imbalance of these hormones,
especially, insufficient levels of progesterone to counter excessive estrogen -- an
imbalance further exacerbated by chronic stress. Progesterone is a hormone important
to a number of body functions. During times of stress or conditions of chronic adrenal
hyper-stimulation, progesterone is capable of being converted into the stress hormone
cortisol.
When one goes through chronic or severe long-term stress, the hypothalamus at first triggers
an overproduction of the adrenal hormones (especially cortisol and DHEA). This eventually
leads to adrenal insufficiency, a state in which the exhausted adrenals cannot respond
adequately.
The thyroid gland is also adversely affected by chronic stress. This gland's roles include
regulating calcium metabolism and glycolysis, the breakdown of glucose for body energy
fuel. Under normal conditions, the fight-or-flight response causes the thyroid to increase
glucose breakdown. In conditions of chronic stress, however, the thyroid is continually
overstimulated and eventually becomes depleted. Thyroid function is also disrupted by
excessive estrogen, but this can be prevented by adequate progesterone levels.
Hyperthyroidism (overactive thyroid functioning) and especially hypothyroidism (low

functioning) have become more common. The classic symptoms of hypothyroidism include
sluggishness, early morning fatigue, cold extremities, lowered basal temperature and
menstrual problems, including scanty periods.
Adrenal and other hormonal gland dysfunctions can cause some of the above symptoms and
more, including cravings for sweets, weight gain, allergies, heart palpitations, insomnia,
depression, fatigue, poor memory, foggy thinking, headaches, nervousness, inability to
concentrate, recurrent infections and glucose intolerance.
One very damaging adrenal dysfunction is excessive cortisol production, which causes,
among other serious problems, increased calcium mobilization from the bones, leading to
osteoporosis, or loss of bone density. In a person with a healthy stress response, excessive
levels of cortisol are automatically buffered. Constant stress destroys this feedback loop.
Hormonal imbalances compromise not only physical health but also psychological
health, manifesting as problems ranging from depression to panic disorder. One way the
body tries to compensate for imbalances created and exacerbated by the demands of stress is
to overproduce key hormones. Another way it tries to compensate is by converting sex
hormones to stress hormones, thus further diminishing reproductive functions and the
enjoyment of sexual health.
It is helpful to learn about these hormonal interdependencies because they allow one to see
the bigger picture, that the problems commonly associated with menses or menopause are
actually indicators of greater endocrine imbalance. For many women, the next step in
understanding the bigger picture might be to look at digestive health -- such as the possibility
of malabsorption syndrome or food allergies -- and at nutritional supplementation strategies
(see Supplementation below) that help restore or maintain hormonal balance.
One of the biggest reasons why hormonal imbalances are misunderstood is because "modern"
medicine disregards the way the human body deals with its environment. Consider that the
body's responses basically have not changed for 50,000 years. We still respond to our
environment with the most primal of mechanisms: the "fight-or-flight" mechanism, the
release of adrenaline and other stress hormones. The stress response, initiated in the
hypothalamus and pituitary, and regulated by the adrenal glands, is responsible for redirecting
energy and resources away from the reproductive organs when we are under severe or
chronic stress, directing it instead to the muscles and organs that are necessary for survival.
This redirection is allowed to take place because, on the body's list of priorities, survival
comes first and reproduction comes last.
The reproductive system is the only body system whose functions are biologically
expendable. With this in mind, we see how the ability to reproduce becomes a privilege in the
body, not a right. Fertility, or the ability to ovulate, is therefore a good indicator of the
overall health of a woman.
The fight-or-flight response can be a detriment as well as a lifesaving response. In a modern

environment, many things -- ranging from allergic reactions to being cut off while driving --
can evoke this mechanism. Throughout daily life, there are many hidden as well as overt
sources of stress. Most of the time, our response to stress ends without a literal "fight" or
some form of physical activity, as our ancestors would have engaged in. One of the problems
with this is that adrenaline, unlike most hormones, has no enzyme "switch" to turn it off.
Once released it must be used or it remains active. As a result, we remain in a state of hyper-
stimulation, with abnormal levels of adrenaline and cortisol, the primary fight-or-flight
hormones. Other hormone levels, such as the pancreatic hormone glucagon, also become
dysregulated. If hyper-stimulation persists, we have difficulty inducing a relaxation
response, and we do not return to a normal state.
Over a period of time, if chronic stress continues, the body adapts to adrenal hyper-
stimulation, continuing in a perpetual fight-or-flight mode. This is called maladaptation, a
process in which endocrine system organs begin to break down. This process eventually
reaches the point where the adrenals become exhausted and cortisol levels drop. One
example of what can result from adrenal exhaustion is fibromyalgia, a condition that can
arise when the protective benefits of normal cortisol levels are lost.
The adrenals are usually first in the order of endocrine function breakdown, followed
by the insulin-producing portion of the pancreas, thyroid, ovaries, parathyroid, pineal,
pituitary and finally, the link to the autonomic nervous system, the hypothalamus. The
thymus gland, which produces immune defense cells, is also affected in the endocrine
breakdown process. Each of these glands controls specific functions, and as each breaks
down new symptoms appear. Symptoms are subtle at first. Then over the years, as the body
goes further into deficit, the symptoms will increase and worsen.
The more stress endured, the worse the hormonal problems become. When the endocrine
system is severely dysregulated, the hypothalamus is affected. If the production of
corticotrophin-releasing hormone (CRH) becomes severely affected, the psychological
symptoms can become debilitating. Because CRH controls fear through stimulating adrenal
secretion, an abnormal level of CRH can make it difficult to perform routine chores or leave
the house. The fear response in turn worsens hormonal problems by further stressing the
adrenals, which respond by converting more sex hormones to stress hormones and becoming
more maladapted -- a vicious cycle.
The Creation of Maladaptation
A woman's hormonal problems can begin even before birth, during her fetal development.
If her mother is under chronic stress and adrenally hyper-stimulated, the mother's body will
draw on the developing fetus's "survival chemistry" to supplement her own body's hormonal
needs. During the second trimester, the placenta produces on average about 450 milligrams of
progesterone a day, and some of this progesterone will be routed to the stressed mother and
converted for stress purposes. In the third trimester, the developing baby's adrenal glands
begin to produce stress hormones, and these can also be taken and used by the mother.
Quick Definition - Endometriosis is the buildup of endometrial (uterine lining) tissue

outside the uterus, most often in or on the fallopian tubes, ovaries and pelvic area. It is
thought to be caused by or exacerbated by estrogen dominance (too much estrogen in relation
to progesterone), and it can in turn cause organ dysfunction or intestinal blockage. Symptoms
include painful menstruation and frequent and severe bleeding.
Women are rarely cautioned about this kind of fetal stress before or during their pregnancies.
Nor are they told how the developing baby's adrenal glands will enlarge to meet the
mother's demand for additional stress hormones. A baby born in this state of secondary
hyper-stimulation produces too much stress hormone. While the baby's adrenal glands can
eventually decrease their output, the glands will tend to reinflate more easily -- like a balloon
-- every time extreme demands are made upon them.If severe or chronic stress persists,
however, hyper-stimulation continues. As the baby grows and matures into an adult, this
maladaptive cycle will be perpetuated, causing her sex hormones to be routed from her
reproductive system and used for her own stress purposes.
Breaking the Stress Cycle
Once a maladaptive stress cycle has been established, it will continue until appropriate
intervention takes place to restore hormonal balance. This can be done at any age, and
functional hormonal testing is the first step. The best type of stress and sex hormone
testing is known as a circadian test, which is performed over a 24-hour period.
Sampling is easily accomplished at home, and the test results will determine the exact levels
of accumulated stress and sex hormones. Using a collection kit, a woman can obtain a saliva
sample every four hours for 24 hours by chewing on a salivette (a small dacron roll). The
results will show specific hormonal changes that occur every four hours, demonstrating a 24-
hour graphic representation of the body's stress reactions.
Salivary testing is the best test method because saliva contains free fractions of stress and
sex hormones. Free fractions are the utilizable hormones, those that the body actually has
access to. Many studies have been conducted showing the validity of assaying these steroid
hormones in saliva. The usual hormone tests, conducted with blood samples, measure total
hormone production, a value that includes bound (not free) hormones that are unavailable for
the body's use. It is important to measure free fractions to get an accurate picture of how
sex and stress hormone levels are varying by body function and activity.
Also, conventional hormone panels usually test only the blood plasma levels of the sex
hormones and only at the moment of sampling (when the blood was drawn). The Female
Circadian Panel from Sabre Sciences evaluates fluctuations of the salivary hormone levels of
estrogen (estradiol), progesterone, testosterone, cortisol, DHEA and melatonin over a 24-hour
period. Important clues about endocrine health are revealed by circadian fluctuations. For
example, we know that because human skin regenerates mostly at night, high nighttime
cortisol values mean that less skin regeneration is taking place.
Steps to Restore Hormonal Health
First, support the endocrine system and allow it time to repair.

Support immune function, thereby reducing stress on the endocrine system.
Make dietary and nutritional changes according to genetic predisposition,
allergies, personal weight and exerciseobjectives.
Support proper digestive function; eliminate any malabsorption problems.
Get exercise, establishing your level of capacity and personal training objectives.
To relieve stress, try meditation, hypnotherapy, visualization, Hatha Yoga, Tai Chi or
QiGong.
Consider individual counseling and group stress management workshops.
Relax by walking in nature, swimming, pursuing creative activities, changing
routines.
Establishing a Baseline
Comprehensive hormonal testing should be performed to establish a baseline before a

woman chooses any kind of hormonal treatment, and then should be repeated
periodically thereafter. Baseline test results are also needed to order custom-made
transdermal hormonal creams from Sabre Sciences and various compounding pharmacies
around the country. Women should also consider additional testing, such as a comprehensive,
5-hour glucose tolerance test and a lipid panel (cholesterol, triglycerides and HDL). An
abnormal (especially high) level of cholesterol, the basic building block of sex and stress
hormones, indicates that the body is attempting to provide more stress hormones. In some
cases, testing for gastrointestinal problems, allergies or even parasites is advised.
Note, however, that "normal" (negative) results from conventional laboratory diagnostic
tests do not always mean normal function. Some tests do not reveal serious existing
conditions, others are not able to detect borderline conditions. One example is thyroid testing,
which cannot indicate how well thyroid hormone (T3) is able to bind to target cells, a thyroid
condition that can be caused by high levels of estrogen. Woman suspecting hormonal
imbalances or experiencing distressing symptoms should discuss testing with a healthcare
practitioner.
Effective Treatment
By evaluating hormonal changes over a 24-hour period, a pattern can be determined and a
treatment protocol designed. An effective plan involving natural hormones, nutritional
support and various stress-relief therapies can be successfully implemented to reestablish the
proper menstrual dynamics, hormonal balance and well-being.
It should be mentioned that in many scientific circles, the 28-day menstrual cycle is believed
to be a result of the impact of the modern world. Up until the last hundred years, the
menstrual cycle is said to have reacted to seasonal changes. Fertility was at its peak during
the fall months, thus helping guarantee the survival of the newborn during the much more
hospitable spring and summer environment. The menstrual/fertility cycle could last as long as
90 days, and was absent during times of serious stress.
When evaluating the "modern" 28-day cycle and hormonal balance it is important to
understand that approximately the first 14 days of the cycle are estrogen dominant and the
second 14 days are progesterone dominant. This is an over-simplification but it helps to
establish an understanding of the healthy dynamics of the menstrual cycle.
The first treatment consideration is that the maladaptive stress response must be interrupted
so that sex hormones will no longer be converted for stress purposes. Women must know
that, until these conversion pathways are closed, supplementation with the sex hormones
estrogen and progesterone is of little value because they will easily be converted. First,
therefore, proper levels of the adrenal hormones cortisol and dehydroepiandrosterone
(DHEA) need to be reestablished. DHEA is a much talked about hormone these days because
of its importance in maintaining youthfulness; a healthy DHEA level is considered an
indicator of longevity.
Hormonal restoral with transdermal creams is accomplished using a dual-phase approach,
which uses estrogen-dominant supplementation during the first 14 days and progesterone
supplementation during the second 14 days.
Transdermal Delivery System
In addition to individual needs, an important factor regarding the correct levels of any kind of
supplement is how quickly it is metabolized and eliminated from the body. This is called
metabolic clearance. A supplement, especially a hormone, should not accumulate or remain
in the body too long, or it will interfere with the changes that must occur -- in this case, the
necessary shift from estrogen to progesterone -- for supplementation to be effective.
A transdermal hormonal cream supplement works best. It is easily applied and delivered,
bypassing the obstacle of breakdown in the digestive system or liver. Most of the available
hormonal creams claim to be transdermal, but are actually topical. A big problem with topical
creams is that most of them use an inexpensive oil cosmetic base. They are absorbed into fat
cells, and months after discontinuance they can still be found in body tissues. Also, a topical
relies on the small size of the hormone molecule (progesterone being very small, estrogen
very large) to transverse the layers of the skin and make its way into the bloodstream. A true
transdermal does not rely on the size of the molecule; instead it has a vehicle to carry it to the
target. This is called a liposomal delivery system, which employs a molecular coating to
control absorption.
A "stealth" liposome has 100 bilayer lipid shells, identical to cell membrane lipids,
allowing it to pass through the skin tissue. The shells slowly dissolve, releasing hormones
and cofactors gradually into the bloodstream.
The Sabre Sciences transdermal cream delivery system is also pulsatile, meaning that only a
small, measurable quantity of hormone is released at one time. This not only allows for easy
calculation of the amount that will be in the blood but also comes closest to matching the
body's own cyclic hormone rhythm.
Recreating Healthy Dynamics
The key factor in positively influencing estrogen and progesterone levels is to recreate or
enhance the healthy dynamics of the menstrual cycle by maintaining estrogen dominance
during the first 14 days of the cycle and allowing a shift at mid-cycle to progesterone
dominance. A one-phase treatment involves supplementation throughout the entire cycle
using only estrogen or progesterone factors. If you use this approach, not only will you not
restore hormonal balance but also you will cause further imbalance, negatively affecting
sexual and reproductive health as well as the health of the whole body.
To support the adrenal system, dual-phase transdermal creams from Sabre Sciences contain
DHEA and pregnenolone, important precursors of sex and stress hormones. The creams also
contain cofactors and nutrients (such as Alpha Lipoic Acid) as well as botanicals and
homeopathics, all of which help estrogen and progesterone work properly. Custom
transdermal creams are formulated using an individual's hormonal test results. Off-the-shelf
dual-phase creams called BioEst Phyto-Estrogen Formula and Bio-Femme Progesterone
Formula are also available. These creams are designed to enhance the healthy dynamics of
estrogen and progesterone activity in both pre- and post-menopausal women. For example,
women suffering from hot flashes or postmenopausal vaginal dryness are aided by the phyto-
estrogen cream.
Supplementation
The following list includes general recommendations for women who are "stressed out" or
hormonally imbalanced and would like to restore overall hormonal health. For best results,
consult a qualified healthcare practitioner for guidance in establishng a supplement plan
before assuming the important responsibility of self-care.
Transdermal hormonal supplements (dosages vary)

Vitamin A (25,000 IU daily as beta carotene)
Vitamin B5 (5001,500 IU daily)
B complex vitamins (2550 mg daily)
Vitamin C & Bioflavonoids (2,000 mg/1,000 mg daily)
Vitamin D (4001,000 IU daily)
Vitamin E (400 IU daily; 800 IU for women on HRT)
Digestive enzymes (needs and dosages vary)
Probiotics (including acidophilus; dosages vary)
Alpha Lipoic acid (100200 mg twice daily)
Biotin (1,000 mcg prior to meals)
Calcium (1 tsp Coral Calcium daily)
Chelated magnesium (1,000 mg daily)
Licorice root (use if cortisol level is low)
Phosphatidyl choline (acetylcholine precursor; use if cortisol level is low)
Phosphatidyl serine (revitalizes nerve cells; use if cortisol level is high)
Siberian Ginseng (use if cortisol level is high)
Royal Maca (affects hypothalamic action; important to all hormonal therapies)
While the use of these creams or any other hormonal therapy should be initiated under the
guidance of a healthcare practitioner, the creams provide an individual the ability to adjust
the dosage to the exact amount needed during each phase. Supplementing with both phyto-
estrogen (from natural plant sources) and progesterone will re-balance the natural monthly
cycle. Pre-menopausal women should use the phyto-estrogen cream from day one through 15
of their monthly cycle (day one is first day of menses); the progesterone cream should be
used from day 16 through 28. Postmenopausal women can create a cycle by choosing a day
to begin using the creams. After four cycles, women should get fully retested to see whether
the dosages of the creams and other supplements need further adjustment.
Women have seen amazing results after employing these creams, especially in combination
with other treatments, including nutritional supplements (see above) and therapies for
normalizing adrenal stress. Some women without a period for years, clinically diagnosed as
being post-menopausal, have begun to menstruate again after using this system of hormonal
supplementation. Most women find that the healthy, youthful aspects of their skin, hair and
nails are reestablished, and they report greatly enhanced moods and feelings of well-being.
Again, it is important to look at all aspects of the reproductive system and its interplay
with the endocrine system, especially adrenal health. It is equally important that women
become observant and vigilant about what is happening in their own bodies. This is what it
takes to maintain optimum sexual and overall health and maximize longevity.
Contact: I. Michael Borkin, N.M.D., in professional practice for 17 years, is dedicated full-
time to endocrine research and is CEO/Director of The Foundation for The Advancement of
Endocrine Research. He is also Director of Research and Development for Sabre Sciences. A
pioneer in transdermal delivery systems, his ideas have given birth to naturopathic therapies,
including Neuro Emotional Sensory Training (NEST) and Quantum Magnetic Manipulation
(Q2m). He is past president of the California State Naturopathic Medical Association, and is
an independent medical/nutritional consultant. Tel: 323-450-7101.
Sources
Sabre Sciences, Inc., EndoScreen Labs: hormonal test kits for women and men. (Doctors
can order test panels; patients can order user-friendly testing systems.) 910 Hampshire Road,
Suite P, Westlake Village, CA 91361. Tel: 888-490-7300. Web address:
www.sabresciences.com.
Sabre Sciences, Inc., Transdermal Division: transdermal creams. 910 Hampshire Road,
Suite P, Westlake Village, CA 91361. Tel: 888-490-7300.
The Foundation for The Advancement of Endocrine Research: 1218 S. Eastern Ave. Las
Vegas, Nevada 89104. Tel: 323-450-7101. Hormonal research information (physicians only
please).
Reprinted with permission from Alternative Medicine magazine, September 2000/#37. For
subscription information call 800-333-HEAL (4325). Website: www.alternativemedicine.com.
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Understanding your menstrual cycle fact

sheet
Download a print-ready PDF version of this fact sheet (280 KB)
The term menstrual cycle refers to the changes that occur naturally in a womans
body to prepare it for pregnancy.
In a normal menstrual cycle, women experience menstruation (also known as a period)

followed by the release of an egg. During menstruation blood, cells and mucus are discharged
from the uterus.
The menstrual cycle starts on the first day of the menstrual period (referred to as day one) and
ends the day before the next period begins. While the length of the menstrual cycle is often
28 days, it can vary between women and from one cycle to the next. It is common for women
to experience cycles that last anywhere from 20 to 40 days. Cycles longer than six weeks are
considered unusual.
The length of a womens menstrual cycle can change throughout her life. Irregular periods
are common among adolescent women, and in women approaching menopause. Factors such
as stress, extreme emotion (good or bad), weight changes, excessive physical activity and
travelling can also cause irregularities in a woman's menstrual cycle.
Phases of the menstrual cycle

The menstrual cycle has four distinct phases: menstruation, the follicular phase, ovulation,
and the luteal phase.
Although menstruation is considered to be the first phase of the cycle, in order to properly
understand menstruation, it is necessary to first explain the other phases.
FOLLICULAR PHASE
During this phase, the pituitary gland releases follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH), which
causes between 10 and 20 follicles (cells that contain immature eggs, known as ova) to begin
developing in the ovary. They produce the hormone oestrogen, which causes the lining of the
uterus (endometrium) to become thick in preparation for the possible embedding of a
fertilised egg (1).
Usually only one follicle develops into a mature egg (2). This follicle moves towards the
surface of the ovary, while the others break down and are reabsorbed by the body. The
follicular phase begins on the first day of menstruation and ends with ovulation. It can vary
considerably in length, depending on the time of ovulation.
OVULATION
The term ovulation refers to the release of a mature egg from the ovary. During the
follicular phase, the rise in a womans oestrogen levels causes gonadotropin-releasing
hormone (GnRH) to be released from her brain. This in turn causes the pituitary gland to
produce increased levels of luteinising hormone (LH). The abrupt rise in LH, known as the
LH surge, triggers ovulation. Following ovulation, the egg is swept into the fallopian tube
and moved along towards the uterus. If fertilisation does not occur, the egg disintegrates
within 6-24 hours.
Cervical mucus and position

Just before ovulation, a womans cervical mucus becomes clear and slippery, resembling raw
egg white; it is very elastic and can be stretched into a string between two fingers. This kind
of cervical mucus is known as 'fertile mucus' because a woman is considered fertile when it is
present. Fertile mucus assists and nourishes sperm as they travel up the vagina towards the
opening of the cervix.
When a woman is in a non-fertile phase of her cycle, her cervical mucus differs in colour and
texture. It might be sticky, crumbly, gummy or creamy (like lotion) in texture, and white,
milky or yellow in colour (3). This mucus cannot be stretched between the fingers and may
have a sour smell. It is important to note that secretions related to sexual arousal, semen,
lubricants, spermicides, vaginal infections (e.g. thrush), and certain medications can all
interfere with the appearance of cervical mucus.
The positioning of the cervix and its opening also change throughout a woman's cycle. At
about the time of ovulation, the cervix moves into a higher position and its opening widens.
Some women may experience aches or pain around the time of ovulation. This pain can vary
from cramps or a general ache in the abdomen to sharp pains in one side. Spotting (light
bleeding) can also occur at this time.
Time of ovulation
Women often believe that ovulation occurs mid-cycle. It actually occurs 12-16 days before
the next period starts. So, although a woman with a 28-day cycle may ovulate mid-cycle
(between day 12 and day 16), a woman with a 36-day cycle will ovulate between day 20 and
day 24.
For women with regular cycles, an easy way to approximate the time of ovulation is to
subtract 16 from the number of days in the cycle and then add 4. This will calculate the span
of days in which ovulation is most likely to occur. For instance, a woman with a 22-day cycle
is most likely to ovulate between days 6 and 10 of her cycle (22-16 = 6 (+4 =10).
Ovulation and conception

Following ovulation, the egg's lifespan can be up to 24 hours, but is usually between six and
12 hours (4). In contrast, sperm generally survive for three days, but can live inside the
vagina for up to five days if optimal fertile cervical mucus is present (5). Pregnancy can
therefore result from intercourse that occurs within a womans fertile window (from as early
as five days before ovulation, until up to 24 hours following ovulation).
THE LUTEAL PHASE

During this phase, the remnants of the follicle that released the egg (now called the corpus
luteum) release large amounts of the hormone progesterone as well as some oestrogen. These
hormones contribute to the further thickening and maintenance of the uterine lining. If
fertilisation does not occur, the corpus luteum breaks down and progesterone levels decline,
leading to the disintegration of the uterus lining. During the luteal phase, women may
experience physical and emotional changes including tender or lumpy breasts, fluid retention,
bloating, mood swings, tiredness or anxiety (see Premenstrual syndrome).
MENSTRUATION
Menstruation occurs when the broken-down lining of the uterus flows out through the vagina.
Menstruation generally lasts from three to seven days. Some women regularly have periods
that are shorter or longer than this. The length can also differ from one cycle to the next. In
addition to blood, menstrual fluid is made up of several components including endometrial
cells, cervical mucus and vaginal secretions (6). The amount of menstrual fluid lost varies
between women and from one cycle to the next, but a woman generally loses about 50-100ml
of fluid each time she has a period (7).
Menstrual flow may be heaviest or lightest at the beginning of menstruation or may change
throughout. The colour can range between black, brown, dark red, bright red and pink.
Menstrual fluid only tends to have an unpleasant odour after it has been in contact with air for
a period of time.
Age of first and last period (menarche and menopause)

In Australia, menarche (the onset of menstruation) occurs most often in girls aged from 11 to
14. Menarche usually occurs a year or two following the appearance of other puberty related
changes, such as breast development and pubic/underarm hair growth. Genetic factors and
social influences, as well as a girls ethnicity, size, and weight, can influence when menarche
occurs (8). Girls with a higher body mass index (BMI) are likely to begin getting periods
earlier than those with lower BMI scores (9). Girls who are highly physically active (such as
athletes) tend to have slightly delayed menarche.
Research suggests that the average age of menarche has fallen during the last century. This
can be attributed to a number of factors including improved diet, better healthcare and
possibly the increase in oestrogen-like substances in the environment (e.g., pesticides and
plastics) (10). Recent studies suggest that the age of menarche is often slightly reduced in
girls who are subject to emotional stressors, such as family disruption or childhood adversity,
and in girls who consumed high intakes of animal proteins, such as cows milk, during
childhood (11).
It is recommended that if a young woman has not had her period by the time she is 16, she
should consult a doctor to ensure that she does not have a medical condition that is preventing
menstruation from occurring (12).
When young women first start menstruating, they are often anovulatory (not ovulating) and,
therefore, not fertile. However, it is important for sexually active young women to remember
that as soon as they start menstruating, pregnancy can occur. Therefore, they should use
contraception if they wish to avoid becoming pregnant.
Menstruation without ovulation can also occur at other life stages, such as before menopause.
Menopause, the ending of periods, typically occurs in women who are in their late 40s or
early 50s. In the time leading up to menopause, the menstrual cycle and/or flow may change,
becoming lighter, heavier or longer. While irregular bleeding is also common at this time, it
can be a symptom of gynaecological cancer so women experiencing this should consult their
doctor. Even though women may be unsure as to whether they are ovulating prior to
menopause, contraception still needs to be used if pregnancy wants to be avoided.
Sex and menstruation

Some women avoid sexual activity when they have their period for personal, cultural or
religious reasons. However, there are few physical reasons why women should avoid sex
during menstruation. One consideration is that the risk of transmitting blood-borne infections
such as hepatitis C and HIV is higher when having unprotected sex at this time. It is possible
for pregnancy to occur if women have unprotected sex during menstruation. Women who
want to avoid pregnancy should use contraception at this time.
The Pill and menstruation

The Pill contains synthetic oestrogen to prevent the development of an egg (and therefore,
ovulation), and synthetic progesterone to increase the thickness of cervical mucus (to slow
the movement of sperm) and prevent the complete development of the uterine lining.
Women who do not ovulate do not experience changes in cervical mucus or ovulation pain.
Their 'period' is actually a withdrawal bleed resulting from the stopping of the synthetic
hormones (during the seven days of inactive/sugar pills) rather than a natural menstruation.
Women taking the Pill can use it to miss or delay a withdrawal bleed. This can be convenient
for women planning travel or special occasions. Women who experience health problems
such as endometriosis, menstrual migraine and heavy bleeding may use the Pill to reduce the
number of withdrawal bleeds they have a year (and, therefore, the number of times they
experience symptoms). Women taking a monophasic Pill (a version of the Pill that delivers
the same dosage throughout the cycle) can miss or delay a withdrawal bleed by simply
missing the inactive/sugar pills and going straight on to the next pill packet. However,
women on a triphasic Pill (a version of the Pill that delivers different dosages throughout the
cycle) may experience spotting if they do this, due to the change in hormone levels at the start
and end of the pill packet. Women on triphasic Pills who wish to miss a withdrawal bleed
should seek advice from their doctor.
Breakthrough bleeding can sometimes occur in women on the Pill, particularly in the first
few months of taking it or if the woman is using a triphasic Pill. A woman is still covered
contraceptively if she has not missed any active pills and has a breakthrough bleed. However,
she should consult her doctor to review the choice of Pill and to ensure the bleeding is not
related to another condition (see Bleeding between periods section).
Return of periods after childbirth

The length of time before a woman's period returns following pregnancy largely depends on
whether she is breastfeeding or not. This is because the hormone that stimulates milk
production, prolactin, also inhibits ovulation and the return of menstruation. Therefore,
women who are fully breastfeeding may not have a period for several months after childbirth
or until they finish breastfeeding. The return of menstruation in breastfeeding mothers
depends upon the frequency and duration of breastfeeds a day.
In women who are not breastfeeding, and women who are combining breastfeeding with
bottle feeding, menstruation can return as soon as five-to-six weeks following childbirth. It is
important to be aware that women will ovulate, and therefore be fertile, before the return of
their first period following delivery/breastfeeding. It is also important to note that even
though breastfeeding can delay the return of periods, it is not a reliable form of contraception.
Sanitary protection
PADS
Sanitary pads come in a variety of shapes and thicknesses to suit different flow types and
situations (e.g., night-time pads). Pads generally need to be changed every three to four hours
and should be wrapped and disposed of in a bin. They cannot be flushed down the toilet as
they will block the plumbing. Reusable cloth pads can be used as an alternative to disposable
pads.
TAMPONS
Tampons are preferred by many women because they are comfortable to wear and convenient
to use. Tampons come in various sizes to suit different menstrual flows. Women should
choose the minimum possible absorbency to suit their flow. For example, if flow is light,
women should choose a mini tampon, rather than a super tampon. Tampons need to be
changed every three to four hours.
Some women worry that a tampon will get lost inside them. This is not physically possible
because the entrance to the uterus (the cervical opening) is so small that a tampon cannot
enter it. Tampons do occasionally become stuck in the vagina. If this happens, adopting a
squatting position or sitting in a warm bath can help women remove the tampon. If this fails,
a doctor can remove it.
Young women (and parents of young women) often ask whether tampons can be used by
virgins. The answer is 'yes' because tampons do not break the hymen. The hymen is a collar
of tissue attached to the vaginal walls, located just inside the vaginal opening. The hymen has
a small opening, or gap, in it, which allows menstrual fluid to flow out. The increased
oestrogen levels that occur during puberty cause the hymen to increase in thickness and
elasticity, which means it can accommodate a tampon; it simply stretches out. For young
women who are concerned that tampons may damage their hymen, it is worth noting that it is
not possible to tell whether someone is a virgin by looking at their hymen (13). What is more,
girls hymens are often no longer intact by the time they get their first period, as a result of
normal physical activity.
To make tampon insertion easier, first-time tampon users may wish to try a mini tampon, use
some lubricant or saliva on the tampon, or use a tampon with an applicator. Once a tampon
has been inserted correctly a woman should not be able to feel it.
Parents of girls new to using tampons may wish to remind their daughters to change their
tampon regularly. Like pads, tampons should be disposed of in a bin rather than flushed down
the toilet. This is particularly important in rural areas in Australia that often use septic
systems.
MENSTRUAL CUPS
Menstrual cups are made of rubber or silicone and are worn inside the vagina to catch
menstrual fluid. They can be worn during activities such as swimming; however, they cannot
be worn during penetrative sex. In Australia they are not commonly used. They are classified
as a medical device and must therefore be approved for sale by the Therapeutic Goods
Administration (14). This means they are not commonly available in supermarkets and
pharmacies, however they are widely available for purchase online. Menstrual cups come in
different sizes. When selecting a size, women should consider factors such as their flow, their
anatomy, the amount of physical activity they do, their age, and whether or not they have had
children. It can take time and some trial-and-error for women to find a brand and size that is
comfortable.
TOXIC SHOCK SYNDROME

Toxic shock syndrome (TSS) is a rare illness caused by the toxins that are released by a type
of bacteria called Staphylococcus aureus. It is believed that using a tampon absorbency that is
too high (for example, using a super tampon when flow is only light), or not changing a
tampon for a long period of time, can cause the bacteria to rapidly multiply, releasing toxins
into the bloodstream. Symptoms include a sudden high fever, a rash similar to sunburn,
vomiting, diarrhoea, muscular pain and headache (15). TSS can also cause kidney and liver
failure.
TSS is very rare. Women can reduce their already low risk of developing TSS by choosing
the lowest absorbency tampon necessary (using a mini tampon during light flow, a regular
tampon during medium flow and a super tampon only during heavy flow); by washing their
hands thoroughly before and after inserting a tampon; by using pads overnight; and by
changing their tampons at least every three to four hours.
Recent studies show that women who have had TSS in the past may carry a higher risk of
developing the condition again (16). Women who have had TSS should avoid using tampons
and menstrual cups.
DISABLED WOMEN
Women with disabilities that restrict their movement may find it difficult to use tampons or
menstrual cups. Women with impaired hand function may find that using lubricant on a
tampon can help with insertion. Women with limited lower body sensation who use sanitary
pads need to regularly check for signs of skin irritation and pressure from their pad, and in
order to avoid leakage, they should ensure that pads are well placed. Women may find
thicker, larger pads, such as those designed for incontinence, easier to use (17).
Common menstrual problems

Some of the most commonly reported menstrual problems are an absence of periods, painful
periods, heavy bleeding, bleeding between periods, and premenstrual syndrome (PMS).
ABSENCE OF PERIODS (AMENORRHOEA)

Outside of pregnancy, amenorrhoea is usually the result of hormonal disturbances. These
disturbances can be caused by a wide range of factors including weight gain or loss (body
weight and body fat percentage are directly related to menstruation), being chronically
underweight (18), over-exercising, extreme emotion (both good and bad), anxiety or stress,
travel, dietary changes, and conditions such as polycystic ovarian syndrome (19). Often,
amenorrhoea is temporary, with menstrual periods returning in time. Women who are not
pregnant and have not had a period for longer than six months should consult their doctor.
PAINFUL PERIODS (DYSMENORRHOEA)

While some women experience only mild discomfort when they have their period, other
women suffer from severe, incapacitating pain. This kind of pain is not normal and women
should consult their doctor if the pain they experience interferes with their ability to function
normally.
Women might get pain a few days before their period or during the first few days of bleeding.
The pain can be a cramping-type pain, caused by the contraction of the uterine muscles, or a
heavy dragging pain in the pelvic region. Pain in the legs and back, headaches, nausea,
constipation and diarrhoea are also common.
Period pain can be the result of prostaglandins, the substance that causes the uterus to
contract during a period. Severe period pain might also signal the presence of conditions such
as pelvic inflammatory disease or endometriosis. Popular remedies for mild pain include
analgesics (aspirin or paracetamol), herbal medicines, warm baths, heat packs, gentle exercise
and rest. Treatment for more severe period pain includes the use of antiprostaglandins (e.g.,
Nurofen, Ponstan) and oral contraceptives. If women do not find relief with these treatments
they should consult their doctor.
HEAVY BLEEDING (MENORRHAGIA)

Because it is hard to measure the amount of menstrual fluid lost, it is difficult to define what
constitutes heavy bleeding. However, the degree to which a woman's period interferes with
her everyday life can provide a guide (e.g., having to change a pad or tampon every hour can
indicate that bleeding is heavy).
Heavy bleeding can be caused by a number of factors including hormonal imbalances,

fibroids, polyps, endometriosis, or, less commonly, bleeding disorders. Excessive blood loss
through heavy periods can lead to anaemia. The Pill and/or antiprostaglandins can be used to
treat heavy bleeding. Other treatment options include inserting a Mirena intra-uterine device
(IUD), or undergoing endometrial ablation (a procedure that causes the destruction of the
uterine lining)..
BLEEDING BETWEEN PERIODS

Bleeding or spotting between periods can be a symptom of a number of conditions including
sexually transmitted infections, gynaecological cancer, endometriosis, fibroids or a thyroid
disorder. It can also be a side effect of some contraceptives or medications (see The Pill and
menstruation section). If a woman experiences bleeding between periods she should consult
her doctor.
PREMENSTRUAL SYNDROME (PMS)

Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) refers to a number of symptoms some women experience
before each period (20). Physical signs of PMS include tender or lumpy breasts, fluid
retention, bloating, food cravings and headaches. Psychological signs include mood swings,
tiredness, and feelings of anxiety, anger, and sadness. Women who suffer from mild
premenstrual syndrome might find exercise, dietary changes, yoga, relaxation techniques, and
herbal remedies useful.
PREMENSTRUAL DYSPHORIC DISORDER (PMDD)

A small percentage of women suffer from a severe form of PMS called premenstrual
dysphoric disorder (PMDD). Women with PMDD experience symptoms so severe that they
greatly impact their everyday functioning. Treatments for PMDD include lifestyle changes,
the Pill, cognitive behavioural therapy, and, if other treatments are unsuccessful, a type of
antidepressant known as selective serotonin-reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) may be prescribed.
MENSTRUAL MIGRAINE
About half of all women who suffer from migraine can clearly link at least some of their
attacks to their periods. Some women have migraine attacks only related to their period, not
at other times of their menstrual cycle. It is thought that the drop in oestrogen that occurs just
before a woman has a period is a migraine trigger. Women who think their migraines may be
related to their menstrual cycle are recommended to keep a diary tracking their menstrual
cycle and migraine attacks for three months to show to their doctor.
Further reading
Healthshare trying to conceive community
Gynaecological health - Women's health library booklist
Menstrual cycle - Better Health Channel
Menstrual cycle: normal - myDr
Menstrual problems (PDF) - Monash University
Arhi SS l When She Rises From The Ashes l
Prologue
Love is a strange thing. It takes you to the heights of ecstasy and it takes you down
the gutter in a flash yet there is not a single person in this world who hasn't
experienced the feeling once in their lifetime, hurts, aches, betrayal included in
the same package.
Khushi Gupta nee Singh Raizada and Arnav Singh Raizada were two such souls
who had experienced it all.
For Mr Raizada, he had broken the shell he used to hide in to keep his feelings to
himself and lived freely in love.
For Miss Gupta, she had taught a roaring caged lion to let go and breathe freely and
shared a lifetime of dream with the same beast she was in love.
But that was a story of once upon a time. Because all was left now was what was
before for one person, a life in a shell, and for the other, no life at all.
It supposed to be the end and it felt so until one day she rose from the ashes of past
to avenge her every loss.
Chapter One
Mauuu... Priya squalled as soon she saw Arnav enter the house and bounced towards
him. She collided with his legs and smiled up at him happily showing all her six
teeth.
Arnav smiled down at her and picked up the 1 and a half year old kissing her chubby
cheeks which showed the dimples of delight.
"Hey, Piu." He husked in her ear and she jumped in his hold excitedly.
HP came to take his bag so that he could hold her well, knowing that little thing won't
come down or go to anyone until she played with her heart's contents with her
precious Mau.
Arnav smilingly carried her to his room, as usual, greeting his Nani and Di on the
way and not very discreetly avoiding his Dadi who sat with them in the hall holding a
tea cup.
By now used to of his rude dismissal of her presence in the house she only scowled
but said nothing.
"He loves her so much. He almost passes all his free time in the house with her, but
what about her mother? Nowadays Chote doesn't even bother to ask me about my
health leave alone other things. How aloof he had become to the family." Anjali rued.
Her pout in place.
Payel who had been coming out of the kitchen instructing OP for the night meal
thinned her lips. Pressing them together hard so that her temptation to reply her
duly did not overcome her too much breaking her control. She walked off the place as
soon her legs could take her.
"Even after gone her shadow did not leave our lives. Especially chote's. She still holds
the reign of the course of his life and I cannot curse her enough for this. Because of
her he doesn't even acknowledge me properly." Subhadra spat venom in frustration
and rage. What she wanted she had achieved, but at what cost?
"That's enough." Devyani put her foot down while Anjali's pout only extended a mille
centimetre long.
"She is gone. There is no point dragging her in each and everything going wrong in
this house. If Chote chose to live like a recluse then it's his choice. He has passed the
age of spoon feeding long back and no one can make him do something against his
wish, that time has passed too," she said looking at Anjali pointedly who whined
"nani" like five years old, unlike her thirty-five self. "So it's better we leave him to live
and carry on his life as he wishes. Anyways I think we have played enough with it
already." This time, she looked at Subhadra who only huffed in response. With that,
she left the place.
**
Payel stormed into her bedroom and locked the door loudly making Akash almost
drop his laptop.
"What happened?" He asked cautiously. Knowing nowadays his calm docile wife,
once, lost her patience more often than not.
In answer, all he got was a spiteful glare before she stomped off towards the
bathroom to change.
She had been not a very talkative person like her sister to start with but at least she
used to talk to him about her feelings but since the fateful day she had shut his family
and to quite an extent him too. And this display of anger and sometimes despair all
he could see to know that she still had emotions left in her. The love among them was
a story of past They only lived together because well, he wanted to and she, he
assumed, was habituated to live with him and somewhere he felt she was waiting for
something. Something only she knew was coming or going to happen. And that
feeling honestly scared him.
**
Arnav walked in his bedroom with his niece and put the bouncing bundle on his bed.
She bounced on his soft bed some more and clapped in glee. He smiled seeing her
happy face. Something positive to look forward to. He went to his cupboard to take
out a change when his niece crawled down the bed and decided that his cupboard
would be more interesting to play in.
She crawled through between his legs and inside his cupboard making him chuckle.
Proud of her accomplishment she clapped and squalled before she started picking
and throwing things out of it. Arnav only shook his head doing nothing to stop her
and decided to change later. Pulling out his laptop he sat to do little work till her
niece got bored of her throwing game or she threw each material out.
About 10-15 minutes later he felt a tug in his trouser. Knowing who it would be he
shut the lid down of his lappy and started playfully, "tired already Piu. What hap..."
His voice got stuck in his throat seeing what Piu held in her hands.
A small ornate box that held memories of a life he would rather prefer to not look
back than reminiscing about it and feeling awfully little as a human.
He hurriedly snatched that box out of the little girl's hand, startling and freighting
her at the same time. Quickly putting it inside the small safe in his cupboard he
picked up Piu who by now had started crying aloud offended by her favourite Mau's
behaviour.
He patted her back soothingly crooning I am sorry sweetheart' for her ear while two
drops of tears escaped his own eyes.
He chanted in his head the only name that soothed his burning heart "Khushi,
Khushi"
**
Shyam was tired playing a lovy dovy puppy of a husband and an affectionate father
when he was none. He thought taking that girl out of the picture would give him
some peace while his access on Raizada fund would become unlimited. But all turned
out just the opposite.
That old hag came to help him and never returned. Now she clucked like a mother
hen around Anjali and him all the time. Arnav, whom he thought would lose his
sanity once the girl was gone, was very much same ASR and became even shrewder if
possible. Before he at least had free access to Anjali's account and credit cards and
could spend as much he wanted. But now that infuriating Salhe Sahib of his had
come up with this mind-blowing way to control his money by taking him out of every
shared account with his wife and making his credit limit to just a few Lakh. He paid
him enough to keep his wife and daughter happy with an added threat that if he did
not then whatever he is transferring in his sole account will be stopped along with the
dismissal of the credit card in his name. And he was intelligent enough to know that
he could not take the risk as His Di's chote may think twice before harming his Jijaji
but the ASR would not blink before shooting him down and feeding his dead body to
the stray dogs. That much he knew about him. So even though he was tired but he
was not ready to give up on his life yet.
Sighing loud he crawled in their bed beside his wife who instantly clung to him
making him grimace.
One clingy woman, he had married! He thought irritated though not daring to push
her away.
**
A woman sat near a window in a dark room. Her face half illuminated by the crescent
moon outside. Her unwavering gaze looked straight ahead unblinkingly. She could be
very well mistaken for a statue if not for the little movement of her index finger that
tapped on the window pane slowly in a measured interval.
A shrill ring broke the sinister like silence in the room.

The woman looked to her side and touched the green floating button on the screen
and then pressed the speaker sign on the phone.
She did not bother to say hello as no one else called her in this number who were not
supposed to.
"We are all set to make our next move ma'am," the man on the other end of the line
said quietly though his voice resonated loud in the eerily silent room this side.
"I expected so too Shay" She had a melodious voice but at the same time, it sounded
like coming from a dead person.
The man called Shay informed, "I will come to pick you up an hour and a half before
boarding."
In answer, she hummed and Shay cut the call after wishing good night'.
"Careful what you do to a good woman, because you will have to deal with the bitch
you created. Now it is about time that you meet the bitch" She spoke to the empty
room before a humourless chuckle ripped out from her hollow inside and echoed in
the empty room sounding like a howl of a burning soul.
You know mister I loved you,
Took all of your shit, like I was used to,
But you crushed me until I lay in shreds on the ground,
And then you walked off dusting me from under your boot.
Now, mister, you will know,
How much once I loved you,
When I show you one of this days,
How much I hate you.

**
So was that enough EK drama!?
Lemme know
notification info in the next post
Chapter Two
ASR walked in AR. His powerful strides only increased the heartbeats of the already
sitting on the edge employees. Their Good Mornings, as usual, fell on deaf ears as
Aman his loyal man Friday walked behind him detailing his schedule from his tab
and at the same time taking orders.
As he settled down in his plush throne he dismissed Aman wanting to spend a

moment alone. The morning chaos in the house had left him tensed and he wanted
nothing but a bit peace which was a feat to achieve in Raizada Mansion nowadays.
He leant back on the backrest and his thought inadvertently drifted back to the
bedlam of this morning.
He had walked down the stairs, engrossed in the phone call that came a couple of
minutes back from an on-site manager.
As he neared the dining area he could hear a quarrel. Knowing it would be pointless
trying to talk business now he asked the manager to call back after a couple of hours
and went to stop whatever crap that his over the top family had started. God, he lived
in a bloody fish market.
"Payel don't show me that attitude as if you don't care?" Mami shouted shrilly. Her
eyes throwing daggers to a Payel who really looked least bothered by her
screaming.
Payel dragged the chair behind her and sat down to have her breakfast and replied
sounding bored, "I don't have to pretend Ma ji because we both know I don't care
about what you think any longer."
There were several gasps could be heard Mami's being the loudest.
"I think that it should be completely our choice if we, Akash and Me, want a child at
this point or not and I think we are not ready yet." Delivering what she wanted
Manorama to know she concentrated on her plate.
"Payel", Akash gritted out. He was tired being sandwiched between his mother and
wife.
Devyani looked away from the unpleasant scene. She had tried to defuse the
discussion in the beginning when Manorama and Subhadra brought that topic up
as soon as Payel and Akash had joined them. But when these two had listened and
cared about the family's peace?
Anjali, who was moments back feeding Priya while whining that how Shyamji was
always busy in his work that he hardly gets to spend time with them, looked
stunned to speechlessness. It was HP's presence of sense that he took the small
scared girl out of her lap and retreated back to go to the garden where the little
thing would be spared from this drama
"How dare you?" Mami ji growled gaining her composer back as the initial shock
wore off.
"What else can you expect from the daughter of that woman? It must be in her
blood to be disrespectful towards the wish of elders." Dadi, as usual, was full of
scorn.
The change in Payel's countenance after the remark was so rapid that other than
Arnav, who was observing the whole fiasco as an audience so far and was about to
open his mouth to shout enough because the comment from Dadi was really
uncalled for, anyone hardly realized before she stood up with a force that toppled
the chair behind her making almost everyone jump in their seat.
Her stony eyes roamed over every face before it came to rest upon Dadi's who
looked little startled herself and said in the deathly quiet that ensued after the chair
hit the floor with a terrific thud, "I am maybe a daughter of the other woman in
your son's life, but before pointing a finger at me you should realize that she
couldn't have been the other woman until and unless your so called saint of a son
was also involved with her to help her earn the stigma."
Arnav and Anjali flinched as the bitter truth once again was rubbed off on their
face. The others presents in the hall were too astonished to react anyway.
The blow was hard for Subhadra if her red face and heavy breathing were
anything to go by but Payel wasn't done yet.
"And my mother has taught me well. She has taught me to respect people who are
worthy of our respect and care." she looked pointedly at Dadi and her Mother in
law. "And also that it's my duty that when the right time comes I must carry and
nurture the next generation of my husband and his family with love and pride. And
the key points here being the right time, love and pride, Maji." And this time, her
eyes bore hole in Akash's who looked down ashamed.
Arnav closed his eyes. He could very well understand the accusation in her voice.
"This audacious girl," the anger bubbling in Dadi couldn't let her speak more than
this.
"Why are we even tolerating her in this house?" Manorama cried out looking at her
son seeking support.
But the answer came from the accused herself "Because I am the daughter in law of
this house and if you decide to throw me out this house anytime then be assured
that my departure would not be anything like her. And who knows what all you
have to pay for weaving such dreams."
Making sure the threat was clear and loud for every ear Payel picked up her purse
which was kept under the table near her feet. But before walking off this suffocating
place her eyes found Arnav's, who thought till now no one noticed his presence, and
said something that sent them all to shock, a chill running down their spine.
"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman
scorned, heard of this before"
She had very cleverly roamed her eyes over the faces of Mami, Dadi and Akash so
that it seemed to everyone that it was for them all and shook her head like she had
expected them to be this dumb only before she had walked away.
But somehow Arnav had a feeling that it was meant for him more than anyone else.
And it disturbed him to no end when he thought what does she meant by that? Was
she talking about herself or her? But then how come she can talk about her when
nobody knows anything about her? After that day she seemed like a figment of their
imagination, vanished from the face of the earth like she never existed, to begin with.
Nobody knew what happened to her or where she went? Is dead or alive? And he
knew for sure that Payel doesn't know too as he had kept a watch over her for quite a
long time to check if she communicated with her in any way or she called her but
nada. There was no contact between the two. Then what was that today?
The knock on the door brought him out of his thought and he sat up asking the
person on the door to come in. Aman walked in with his coffee and the agenda of the
next meeting. Both sat down to discuss the points and specification over the coffee
for now keeping his thoughts at bay.
**
"Arnavji you don't mean that! Right?" She asked still hopeful. Because losing hope
meant the end of her.
He turned his back to her and stood rigid.

"But you promised me that you won't make me wait today. You promised me that
you won't disappoint me today." She whispered unbelievingly looking at his back.
Desperately wanting it to be a nightmare.
Well, it was a nightmare; she was just seeing it with open eyes.
She already had her answer. She was again betrayed. She was again played. She
was again made a fool of. It was her again who had loved and lost.
She turned and started walking in a daze. She crossed the threshold of his room.
She didn't look back. She climbed down the stairs and walked straight and out of
the Raizada Mansion not sparing a glance to the people who stood in the audience
staring at the corpse walking out on her own two feet.
Some of them thought good riddance, while some were utterly confused about what
should they do next. Some people like Nani and NK did not dare to stop her or break
her trance because they figured once she snapped out of whatever world she was in
all hell will break loose and they knew that when that happened they would be all
sucked into the inferno it will cause. Because no sound comes when a heart breaks
but the tempest it brings destroys the strongest of the pillar.
**
She opened her eyes and looked out of the window.
There she smiled like she did and Shay gulped as he saw it.
Because once he had heard someone say that there is no animal more dangerous
than a silently smiling woman.
"Shay I like you, you know right. I only bite who doesn't fall in that list."
Shay looked up hearing her mutter beside him, which was quite loud for his ear in
the otherwise silent first class of Air India.
He looked at her shocked that she noticed his nervousness but she had her eyes
closed again.
Oh, the enigma he worked for.
Shaking his head he concentrated on his laptop again. They had the deal to crack and
he didn't want to fail his boss who may be a bitch for the world but he knew better.
Chapter Three
"Who are the competitors for this order apart from us?" Arnav questioned as he sat
back in his chair and sipped his coffee.
Aman checked in his tab and listed the names, "KK Fashion House, Neelam's, Kriya
Fashion House and Fe-Line.
"The last one, I never heard that name before." Arnav frowned. A first-timer and
bidding for such large order with such huge competitors.
Aman understood what his boss wanted to know so he briefed "Fe-line, maybe a first-
timer in India but definitely not a newcomer. The company is actually Canada based
and quite popular in there with its branches spread to cities like Toronto, Vancouver,
and Ottawa. The brand is also quite popular in the US. They have recently opened a
branch in India in Delhi. And this Khurana's order would be the first one if they can
crack the deal."
At this point, Arnaav raised his brows and looked at his assistant challengingly.
Aman nodded understandingly as he continued, "Off course, it would be hard for

them to beat us as AR is the best in the field, especially in India, and Khurana's
wouldn't want anything but the best. What I have known so far that even though they
are competing for the order they also had their eyes set out for the summer fashion
festival in the coming month. So even if they don't get the order they hope to entice
the Indian market here with their summer collection."
"But do you think an American company would be able to attract Indian buyers with
their collection. Maybe the upper-class but they are few compare to the common
population of India. I only wonder why an already established Canadian Fashion
House would want to open a branch in India where they would have very little
knowledge about the market." Arnav's was curious to find out.
"Well, I have heard the CEO of the company is an Indian and she is well versed in
Indian Fashion."
Arnav lower lip jutted out and his eyebrows rose with this piece of information. No,
he was not a male chauvinist; he was just not expecting an Indian woman to be a
CEO of a company based in Canada.
"Is she the owner?"
Aman nodded in negative. "The owner and chairperson of Feline is Liam Smith. He is
a Canadian but was married to an Indian who passed away last year. Maybe that's
why the sudden interest in Indian fashion. He has a son, who is one of the MDs, Neil
Smith. The CEO, who is mostly known as Kay in the company and whose real name is
a mystery as of now has been working with them for almost five years now and had
been promoted to the post of CEO a year back. That's what I have heard so far."
"Well, that's not enough." Arnav declared as he concentrated back on his laptop
while Aman agreed with a slight nod and left promising to find out more about the
new competitor and the new fashion house.
**
She waited for all the passenger leave and then she slowly made her way through the
broad aisle and stood on the top of the stair absolutely relaxed. Taking a fresh breath
of air she smiled at the air hostess who wished her to her way out.
The air hostess inhaled sharply. The lady had a face to beat any Miss World and poise
and grace to give any Royal run for their money, yet, she acknowledged people
around her politely without a trace of ego. The smile was breathtaking without trying
hard. She looked fresh and in control unlike most of the passenger who were
disoriented owing to their jetlag. And hands down she rocked the look she was
carrying. Even after hours of journey.
She watched as the lady walked down following by a handsome looking man who
looked someone worked for her. She sighed and went to get her own bag.
**
Shay got the porter to carry their bags outside. As soon he spotted the cars meant for
them waiting for the departure he signalled and two men dressed in three piece suits
came out same time out of driver seat and passenger side. They loaded the luggage
after greeting them. After making sure the lady was comfortable all the men took
their respective seats and the car started and soon hit the Delhi traffic.
"Welcome back"
**
Payel received the message she was waiting for forever and broke into a huge smile.
Finally, the time has come for payback. Payel had waited for this day since the day
she assured her that their day will come. She will make it happen and she did.
Now it was time for him to get the ball rolling from her end.
And this time, it was her smile that gave Akash the creeps.
**
A couple of days later,
"WHAT?" Arnav burst out.
Aman flinched but he expected nothing less.
"You are saying we lost the order to the new company"
Aman chose to not respond to the obvious.
"How?"
"Well they liked their designs more than us and what I heard from the grapevines
that their CEO absolutely charmed the Khuranas with her ideas and confidence,"
Aman informed.
"And by charming you mean... Arnav didn't complete as he knew his assistant
understood.
"No ASR. It has been a fair and square business."
Arnav fisted his hands to control his frustration. It's not that their life dependent on
Khurana's order. But getting rejected by an old buyer sure was not going to go down
well with his ego. More than that The Khuranas are known for their classy choice and
fine taste. So if they are showing interest to a new fashion house then many others
going to follow their path. And that did sound like trouble.
Feline was no competition for AR and he wanted to keep it that way. So he needed to
find out more about this company and the charming CEO of theirs.
**
"Akash" Payel called when he entered their room that night.
Startled by the sudden call he looked up to see his wife who since last, well, about five
years, never initiated a conversation from her end.
But what she said next crushed all his hopes in the buds.
"Let's call this farce off. Anyways I have had enough of everything. I want a divorce."
"NO" The denial came louder. "Why would you? Why would I?" Akash had a tough
time getting the right words out. The shock of her proposition still running in his
system.
"I did not hold onto you so many years to let you go. I want this marriage. Never is it
a farce for me."
"Really", Payel was never known for a sarcastic person but she couldn't help it.
"But I thought you held on to me because you first thought you loved me then when
that misunderstanding cleared off, you held on to me as you wanted to keep
Raizada's social status intact. You know all the things happening back then Raizadas
were already media's golden goose and if the crack in our relationship would have
shown then they would have had a field trip no." Payel copied Arnav to the T as she
raised left brow questioningly or rather say mockingly. Akash had to look down, not
in shame but fear. "And when that sword also stops dangling over this family's head
you decided to keep the charade on as it only helped you to keep the affair with
Sheetal secret and away from your nagging family."
Akash head shot up. Disbelief and trace of fear visible on his face.
"Oh don't you worry. I did not feel bad that my husband has an extramarital affair.
Honestly, I feel nothing in this matter. And it is only human to find release outside
when the woman back home acts pricey as Mr Rizada's Dadi would say, isn't it?"
The scorn in her voice made him feel like a worm in a dirty drain, yet he could say
nothing as all the accusations, which she made sound like general talk, were true.
What he never imagined was Payel knew all of these yet kept her silence so long.
But then what happened now?
"Because it has reached the end of my tolerance now and also my wait has come to an
end."
Akash did not realise that he said the last part aloud until he heard her reply and
then he frowned, "Wait, End" what does she mean? What she was waiting for, to
begin with?"
Payel saw the frown and understood that he was thinking about what she said, but
she did not elaborate. And with her next words she took his mind completely away
from the point.
"I have signed it, better you sign it too and then I can submit the papers in court. It
won't take long if we part mutually."
Akash saw her extended hand the application in her hand. It was only right to sign
but somehow his male ego struck him at this unfortunate moment and he stepped
back showing his disapproval.
"I will not." He said defiantly. "If we have kept the charade for so long and even after
knowing everything you had no problem till now then I don't see a reason to give you
a divorce now. Anyways it's not like you have a place to go if you leave this house."
He said superiorly.
"Presumption, presumption, presumption!!" Payel Tut-tut-ed. "Well, then see you in

court if you are so willing to drag your precious Raizada name in the mud."
"You don't have a chance to stand against me even for a day in court," Akash growled.
"Again" Her face showed disbelief and something akin to pity for the man who could
never grow a spine and think out of the box. She shook her head and left the room
not bothering to even try.
That only angered Akash more as he tore the application in his hand in pieces.
In the lobby, Payel called a number, "Make arrangement to send a notice by

tomorrow noon. One copy for my husband and another copy for my dear in-laws."
With that, she cut the call before throwing the phone on ground with force and
walked away not bothering to gather the splinters that lay scattered in the lobby.
**
Note: Replied to some comments in Page 9.
Don't forget to tell me how was the chapter. The next one will be up the
day after tomorrow.
Chapter Four
That afternoon Arnav got a hurried call from his Di asking him to come home as soon
as possible. It was after a very long time that he got such call and he practically ran
out of his office only to bump into a grim looking Akash, who too by the look of it had
been leaving.
"You too got a call," Arnav asked to confirm.
Akash only nodded.
"Let's go."
As both brothers sat in the car together Arnav revved the engine but not before
asking if Akash had any idea what was this urgent call for.
As the car hit the road Akash's answer almost made Arnav lose control but ASR was
not known to lose control so easily. He found his composure back soon and kept
driving his face now mirrored his brother's grimness.
**
"What does this mean Payel?" Manorama was shouting her lungs out. Well since she
got the notice in her hand she had been doing just that. But seeing Payel enter the
house nonchalantly only increased her volume several notches high.
"Mami please calm down. We can discuss this calmly. This way you only will get your
BP high"
But Anjali's effort proved futile as Dadi joined in to put fuel to the fire.
"What else can we expect from this girl? She was only waiting for her chance to
tarnish our name in society. I am surprised that she waited this long."
"You are right Dadi ji. She is nothing better than her sister. And how can we expect
her to be anything better when she is raised by the same woman who ruined our lives
19 years back."
The scathing words were meant to hurt and it did hit the nail. Payel curled her
fingers in a death grip. No one saw her reaction other than two people. Arnav, who
stood at the entrance along with a rigid Akash having heard it all and Nani, who
stood in a corner, her eyes burning.
**
"ENOUGH!" Arnav bellowed sending the whole area to a pin drop silence.
"We can discuss this issue like rational civil people too." He looked pointedly at the
every face present there. Glad to not finding the slim in the circus.
He walked in with Akash and sat down on the sofa and ushered Payel to take a seat
on the single sofa on his right. He looked at each face present there, a warning to
keep their violent emotions in check and take a seat as well.
Nani, who had been a silent spectator so far, took the seat opposite to Payel, while
Akash sat beside Arnav. Dadi, Mami and Anjali sat opposite to Arnav and Akash.
Mamaji was abroad and Arnav was thankful that the old man did not have to witness
this.
**
Arnav turned to Akash and asked quietly, "Were you aware of her intention before?"
In answer, he nodded positively and sat tensed.
"WHAT? You knew she wants a divorce and did not tell me? And here I was like a
fool expecting a grandchild from this girl." Mami again burst out.
Anjali pressed her hand to calm her.
Arnav closed his eyes to calm himself down as well and then he turned to Payel and
only asked: "Why?"
"What will she say? Daughter of a home wrecker. I will tell you why." Dadi was on a
roll. She was waiting for one such opportunity to vent out her frustration for being
ignored by Payel and Arnav for that girl.
"She did not leave with that girl and stayed put in this house even after claiming to
love her sister immensely. Does not that say it all?"
She missed the mocking look that Payel gave to Arnav to which Arnav looked down
clenching her fists.
Dadi was still saying, "She wanted to leave in the lap of luxury that only Raizadas can
provide. But now when her mother in law expected her to fulfil at least one duty as a
daughter in law of this house she doesn't want that and this is her way to run off her
duties. And who knows, she may have already found another scapegoat to give her
what she will leave here. After all, she is taught well by the best."
**
"Are you done?" It was Payel who broke the thick silence after Dadi's venomous
monologue.
Nani kept sitting hands in her head. Mami fumed some more, Anjali was too shocked
and naturally too upset to talk.
Arnav, on the other hand, was about to lash out when Payel's emotionless voice
surprised him to the point where he remained silent. Akash's tension only grew
tenfold. He never thought that this would be the outcome of his ego. If Payel opened
her mouth before the family he would not hear the end of it.
"Mr Raizada", Payel's formal call got Arnav's attention. She never called him
anything else in last five years since the day of their last fateful confrontation.
"Hope that answers your question," She stated referring what Dadi said. While Dadi,
Mami and Anjali looked confused and somewhat thought that she meant that the
accusations were true, Arnav and Nani knew what Payel actually meant.
This house, the family had become intolerable and did not deserve her.
Arnav cleared his throat. He was not good with words either but this was his
brother's life and he did not want it to be doomed like his.
"Payel I understand, but you could have talked it out at least with your husband.
Divorce is not the only solution" He did not really look at her eyes while speaking.
"I beg to differ, Mr Raizada." Payel continued business like. There is no other
solution. I have already discussed this issue with Akash and kept my reasons before
him, but he has chosen to ignore as always hence the legal notice."
Arnav took one look at a silent Akash and it did not take a genius to guess that the
fault lies with his brother, seeing his pale face.
"And your reasons are..." Arnav still probed. He needed to know that what happened
that cannot be fixed in between the couple who married for love. And who were
together at the toughest time in their relation and also in the family.
**
Akash's head shot up to see a smug Payel and a scrutinising Arnav before his let his
eyes travel to the other faces around him and squawked out, "I will sign the papers.
No need to drag this anymore. We have already touched the limit in our relationship.
Best we end it mutually. We will find our witnesses here only. Let's end this."
"Suits me," All Payel said. A ridiculing smirk taking home in her face.
She extended the legal papers she had all ready and signed by her. Akash grabbed it
hurriedly and without wasting a moment signed it. He then asked Arnav and Anjali
to sign it as the witness.
Speechless Anjali obliged. She looked so shocked by the turn of events that she could
hardly think straight.
Arnav looked at his brother who did not meet his eyes. He turned to look at Paypal
whose eyes dared him to ask anything. He saw Mami and DI had already started with
their loud water work. While he did not care to look at Dadi he was surprised that
Nani stayed silent for all this time and refuse to look at anyone even now.
He understood he could do nothing in this matter anymore when the said couple
were eager to break the bond themselves. He signed in the place of next witness and
gave the paper to Payel, who took it gladly.
"I will send a copy to you by evening and hopefully, all the formalities will be done in
a couple of days." Her words were directed towards Akash.
"GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE." Dadi had to have the last words.
"Gladly." Payel mocked and called out for HP.
**
All saw HP dragging two bags. He kept the bag on the centre table as directed by
Payel and left the place.
Payel opened both bags wide.
"I have already packed my clothes that are either brought from my home or bought
by my own money. Jewellery that were given by my parents. Any one of you is
welcome to check the contents so that we are clear that I am not taking anything of
the Raizadas."
Mami was about to peep in when another "Enough" kept her in her seat while others
turned to Nani, startled.
**
"I knew this day is coming. In a way I am glad. I have known for quite some time that
this house has become unlivable and good that you could escape Payel Bitiya." Nani
said looking straight to Payel. Her voice held emotions but same time was firm with
conviction
"Nani" Anjali whispered disbelievingly. "How could you say that?" She whined
accusingly.
"I can because I have eyes that I use to see, unlike others." She told Anjali then
turned her eyes to see every other person present there in their eyes who for their
own reason avoided the eye contact.
She got up and walked to Payel.
To everyone's shock when Payel bent down to take Nani's blessing, she stopped her
and took her in a maternal embrace.
Payel on the other hand for the first time felt emotions engulf her she whispered
brokenly in Nani's ear "I am sorry Dadi, but I could not humiliate the woman in me
anymore."
Devyani whispered back in choked voice, "Don't apologise, bitiya. You did what is
right and I also know it is time."
Shocked, Payel came out of Devyani's embrace and their eyes met.
Devyani nodded understanding the question in her eyes, "I never forgot beta."
Overwhelmed, Payel once again hugged the matriarch of the house.
As they broke apart, Nani herself closed Payel's bags and asked HP to load them in
Payel's car.
"Good Bye" Payel bid adieu and walked out of RM, her head held high.
**
Nani and Arnav, both tried to leave the suffocating atmosphere and take refuge in
their respective room but Mami's shrill cry and loud rant stopped them in their track.
"Oh, my poor Akash bitwa!" She went to sit by her poor bitwa and cried all over him.
"How ungrateful a person can be?" She complained looking at the door from where
Payel left moments ago.
Anjali too went to sit on the other side of a very uncomfortable looking Akash with all
intention to console a broken husband
"You should thank your stars Manorama." It was Dadi, "Good riddance. Now you can
marry Akash with a girl of your choice, who would be from a decent family a value
her husband's family."
"You are right Dadiji. If I would have married my Akash with someone of my choice
we wouldn't have to see this day. Oh, how will I show my face to my relatives and
friends? Again our name will be dragged through the mud."
Anjali patted Mami's back herself crying copiously. Dadi pressed her lips furiously.
Unable to take the drama anymore Nani said loud for all to hear, "Sorry to break this
to you Manorama, but you will be disappointed again."
All, including Arnav, looked at her confused.
"About choosing the bride for your only son." Nani looked at Akash daringly and he
gulped understanding that she knew. His face turned paler.
"But rest assured she is exactly what you wanted as your daughter in law to be."
All eyes now turned to Akash who looked down ashamed to be caught by his Dadi.
"Though how much she will understand family value I have doubt regarding that
Sumi"
Dadi's eyes narrowed.
"And it would be for better if you don't talk about gratefulness Manorama," this time
Nani's voice was stern and full of disdain making Mami gulp.
"You always knew that Payel paid for everything she used in this house since the day
five years back. She never took anything from this house in last five years to be
grateful or to be called ungrateful. Not even she was paid by love." Her glare bore
hole on Akash's bent head.
The information shocked Arnav above all including Akash. He can very well guess
what day Nani was talking about. He doubted if she knew actually what happened
that day. She might know a little but not the whole of it otherwise, she would have
broken her ties with him long back if her fury right now was anything to go by.
"You knew what she said when I tried to refuse her because I know that day you were
eavesdropping on our conversation."
This time, it was Mami's turn to look down.
Nani directed her next words to everyone present in there, "She said she cannot take
anything from a place where people killed her sister's spirit and pushed her mother
to death. She told me that she did not have the security of a family so she had decided
to stay until she becomes capable of taking care of herself and move out. She even
paid a handsome amount as a rent for living in this palatial house since her catering
business started to flourish."
By this time nobody had the guts to look anywhere above the ground except Dadi.
"So you see some of us already knew she was bound to leave, but still, I hoped that at
least one son of this house would be wise enough and held on to the gem he has
acquired undeservingly but alas! He himself pushed her away and you all only
hurried the process. Congratulations."
Devyani could not stand in the place anymore and left as fast as her legs could take
her in her age.
Arnav was the next person to leave but not before he threw a reproachful look
towards his cousin and Mami.
Anjali walked away in a daze leaving the other three to lick their own wound.
**
Hope you like this one.
And if you are wondering where is Khushi well she will make her appearance after a
couple of chapters.
Thank you for your comment and support friends and if you have any doubt feel free
to ask.
Oorja
Chapter Five
The happenings in the house left Arnav tortured. It was like history repeating itself.
The only difference being unlike the women, who encountered the same fate as Payel
in the past Pavel proved to be strong and had an admirable sense of self-respect. And
like in the past it was his family and him who were responsible for ruining a woman's
life may it be intentionally or unintentionally. The Maliks and the Raizada's were
doomed for eternity when it came to love and marriage it seemed.
Arnav wanted to go to his room and lock himself away from the world outside. But he
could not.
His sister- in- law with whom he had co-existed more than five years and had learned
to think as a family, may not have been his favourite person in the world, but still,
she just left them, their home, and walked away just like that. The thought disturbed
him and when he knew there was no one out there for her to call her as her own.
When no doubt she had money to survive she had no one to lean on. But also he
knew for a fact that he would be the last person she would want to lean on yet he
could not stop himself from going behind her. If nothing he would know if she was
safe or not.
He picked up his keys and left the mansion.
**
Payel feared that she would ram her car in one of the cars before hers as she drove
with shaky hands and blinked furiously to keep her eyes from blurring. Yet the tears
refused to stop.
How insufferable the man had become from the time she had first known him but
she had loved him. She was ready to take this step since she herself could not tell how
long, yet, when she had crossed the threshold the urge to look back one last time had
consumed her so madly that she had literally run until she had reached her car.
Throwing her bags inside she had screeched out of the place like a drunken driver
and since then she couldn't stop her tears. She had massaged her as soon she had
signed the paper and Payel knew she would be coming after her and God knows she
needed someone to let it all out. A lot was bottled inside her and needed a desperate
release.
**
Arnav soon located Payel's Swift in the traffic and was terrified finding how fast she
was driving. He followed her in his BMW hoping with all his might that she did not
end up in an accident.
But both Payel and Arnav failed to notice another car trailing behind Payel's. A black
Jaguar drove sometimes in parallel and some time behind Payel's modest Swift until
they all hit the comparatively less crowded road and Payel parked her car on a side
road, finally ending the chase.
**
Arnav parked his car a little far confused that why Payel chose such place to stop. He
decided to wait but he did not need to for too long as he saw a Jaguar drove past him
and parked behind Payel's car.
He saw Payel getting down from her car and at the same time the driver of Jaguar too
came down. It was a lady. He could not see the face of the woman as her back was
towards him and she walked straight ahead to Payel. Yet somehow he felt that slim
torso covered in a light pink georgette top with multi colour georgette palazzo looked
familiar. He felt as if he knew who she was.
He saw Payel standing leaning on her car until the lady reached before her and the
next moment she threw herself into her arms. Her shaking body was enough proof
that she was weeping and the sight moistens his eyes too.
She never fooled him for a moment with her tough exterior and superhuman
composure. He knew the mask of bravado will fall off once she was alone and that
was why he had come after her to ensure that she had enough strength to fight the
fallout. But now seeing that she had at least one well-wisher who cared enough to
follow her this far to comfort her he felt relieved. He squinted his eyes to see if he
could see the face of Payel's friend who came when she was in need but alas, her mid
length mahogany hair shielded her face as she enveloped Payel in her embrace. And
he could tell even sitting inside his car from the distance that the embrace ensued
warmth, care and love because Payel calmed down considerably in a couple of
minutes.
Assured that Payel had someone to support her emotionally Arnav started his car
and drove out of the place completely missing asthe woman turned in his direction
and watched him until his car vanished in the distance.
**
"You have got an invitation from Khuranas."Aman informed
"Regarding?"Arnav did not bother to look up from his laptop as he asked.
"Well, as we know Prince Khurana is getting married this Saturday, which is the day
after tomorrow. So he had decided to throw a bachelor party before mounting the
horse." Aman explained with a straight face.
"You know I don't do such parties and I don't have to teach you how to get out of it."
He corrected a few number in the excel sheet as he spoke.
"Well about that... Aman dragged finally succeeding to get his attention.
Arnav raised his eyes to his face. His eyebrows up in question.

"I know you don't attend such parties and I would have refused straightaway if not
for the information that the CEO of Fe-line coming to this party."
That got Arnav's interest Aman noted satisfied.
Arnav's eyebrows touched the hairline before he asked: "What she is coming for in a
bachelor party?"
"There is a twist." Aman passed what he knew, "This party is not completely like a
conventional bachelor party. As Prince Khurana is very much in love with his bride
he doesn't want to upset her throwing a customary bachelor party which equalises to
drinks and dancers. Rather he has arranged a party which very much includes the
bride and her friends with his along with all the young relations and business
acquaintances. He just wants to have fun with his girlfriend before she became his
wife permanently."
"Interesting," Arnav said though his face showed not an ounce of interest and asked
to confirm his attendance to the Khuranas.
As Aman left, Arnav left all pretence of work and heavily leant back on the backrest
of his chair. The mention of the bachelor party had opened the can of memories that
still had the power to assault Arnav Singh Raizada to hell and back.
Arnavji how dare you?
What did I do Khushi?
How dare you come here and drink on the day before you marriage? How dare you
let any nangi chudhail dance on your lap?
He smirked. It nice to see her jealous and possessive for him.
**
Look around Khushi do you see any dancer here, let alone a lap dancer? And if I
have been drinking then how can I not smell of alcohol?
Good for you. You saved a few chudhails from getting their faces scratched and
their hair ripped off from their scalps.
Arnav eyebrows shot up as he heard her retort.
**
Where are you going Khushi?
Home.
But I wanted to spend some time with you. Won't you stay for me? Just a little
longer, please.
Yes.
He smiled as she agreed readily. He wanted to spend some time with her alone.
They missed being alone since the marriage preparation started.
**
I understand Khushi if you don't want me to... I value your beliefs.
It okay, Arnavji. Even I want to. And tonight I don't see a problem in this.
Tomorrow by this time we will be each other's forever in every way. There is no
insecurity in me today. I trust you to do right by me. I love you Arnavji.
Her trust humbled him. Her love made him feel elated and the luckiest man on
earth. He will cherish the memory of this night all his life.
And he broke her trust and left her even when he promised her forever. Two drops of
tears unknown to him rolled down his face.
He had failed as a lover. But part of him consoled him by reminding him the fact that
he couldn't have betrayed his mother by accepting her as his wife who he had sworn
to avenge. At least he had been won as a son.
But did you left it at that? His heart questioned him sardonically.
What I did was the need of the hour, He argued.
Oh, was it? And I thought you were being selfish. Whispered his heart.
He blinked to clear his head unable to bear the accusation and tried to concentrate
on his work again
**
"Welcome... Welcome, Mr. Raizada. I am glad that you could come." Prince Khurana
heartily welcomed him making Arnav crack a smile reluctantly.
He greeted his fiance a very pretty girl standing right by her side and both of them
ushered him in towards the bar counter so that he could take a refreshment of his
choice.
As it was fun party, held to enjoy and relax before the big leap for the host couple,
both Arnav and Prince chose to not talk about the business relation between Raizada
and Khurana which had definitely gone sour even if it not showed on the surface, as
Senior Khurana chose a new company to deliver his order over AR, who had served
him over a decade in small and large scale respectively.
After chatting a few minutes Prince excused himself to meet and greet his other
guests while Arnav chose a secluded corner to sit and wait for the purpose he had
arrived at this party. He knew for a fact that the Fe-line CEO was yet to arrive as
Aman had already enquired and delivered him the message.
**
Chapter Six
"ASR" Aman called Arnav quietly.

Arnav squinted his eyes as the flashing disco lights made it hard for him to see
Aman's face properly which was why he did not see his tensed expression.
"There is something you need to know?" Aman continued in the same tone.
Already edgy as the atmosphere around was getting to him, the thumping music
adding to his frustration which only made his head ache, he barked, "Is she here
yet?"
Aman sighed. Just 15 minutes in the party and two drinks down he was this cranky
what will happen when he would tell him what he found out.
He tried calmly again "Yes she is and I am here to talk to you about that only..."
"Where is she?" Arnav did not let him finish and asked impatiently. He wanted to
meet this enigmatic CEO who had entered his world unannounced and already had
managed to bother him to a great deal. He wanted to see himself that if she was
anything as Aman claimed her to be. Was she worth to consider a challenge for him?
For some reason she was able to make him curious and he needed to satisfy his
curiosity.
His eyes roamed over the area but for the dancing light he couldn't locate anything
beyond a few feet and how far he saw he did not find any unknown face that would fit
the image that he had in his head for the lady.
"Sir she is here somewhere. But before you meet her you need to know that she is...
but Aman did not get the chance to finish as the dancing platform in centre lit up
while the lights around them dimmed and Prince Khurana appeared under the
spotlight with a mic.
"Ladies and Gentleman, thank you very much all for coming and making this party
successful. Hope you all are enjoying (all cheered) and to add to your fun we have a
very sassy performance coming from my very close friend from college who has only
arrived this morning to attend my wedding. And when my very persuasive fiance (he
winked at his soon to be wife who smirked and then smiled adorably earning a flying
kiss from Prince) came to know about his great dancing skill she convinced him to
perform for us this evening. Almost on a gunpoint (he whispered conspiratorially and
his fiance's jaw dropped dramatically before she narrowed her eyes playfully). So
guys here I present my friend, the dancing star of our college days, Neil Smith."
The stage went dark before a spotlight fell on a guy standing in the middle of the
dance floor in a long white Jacket over a white tee and blue slim fit jeans. He wore a
hip hop cap which matched his dress. His face was bent down until the music started
pounding.
All clapped while Arnav thought where he had heard the name before.
He was quite near the stage so he saw his face quite clearly as he looked up and
winked outrageously to the crowd.
pic credit: Google (thought he looked suited for the image of Neil, but you are free to
imagine anyone)
Well, that is.. uh ...some pretty face.
He also noticed that the person on the stage was not Indian, at least not completely.
And then Arnav's eyebrows shot up when he heard the song. The guy sure knew how
to groove but what was the song he was dancing on? Nor he had heard something
like this before neither he understood half of it. He felt too old to even watch
someone perform on a song like this.
He was considering to leave the place as it was becoming too much of torture for him
to take in order to meet someone.
He was not so desperate to endure this madness for something he could achieve in a
saner setting. What if a little delayed?
He saw the guy come down from the high platform towards the audience when the
supporting dancers continued gyrating in the background. He stood up and started
walking towards Prince who stood near the stage to take his leave, a troubled Aman
on toe.
As he neared the area he saw the Neil guy pull someone from the audience towards
the stage.
A woman in a black and turquoise indo western outfit balancing in a pair of black
high heels walked alongside him to take the stage beside him. For some unknown
reason he felt he knew her. That figure, the mid length mahogany hair and the back
was quite familiar. Yet he chose to ignore and move to reach Prince until she turned
in the direction of the crowd.
Aman squeezed his eye shut when he heard his boss's shocked whisper "Khushi" and
he finally said what he had wanted to say a while back and his boss refused to hear.
"Also called as Kay by the coworkers and employees, the CEO of Fe-line you wanted
to meet."
**
He saw her dance like a seductress. Moving to the beats perfect to the T and
surprisingly in synch with the guy. And that thought brought home the realization
that Neil Smith was no one else but the son of the owner of Fe-line and one of the
MDs as Aman had explained him earlier. Which meant only one thing that Khushi
and Neil knew each other in more personal level and had been working together for
last five years or more.
As he looked on her dancing form that set fire on the stage reminding him of her
dance with NK in the cocktail party that he had thrown for Akash and Payel before
their marriage.
While the crowd cheered them on uncountable questions swarmed in his head. For
he could not believe what he saw, what he heard and the conclusions his knowledge
drew.
She still looked like a dream best say a sexy dream and could still floor him even
without trying. She was the same young maiden, still in her twenties, albeit in the
later part of the sequence, he had once fallen in love head over heels, while he had
aged another six years and looked even older. He didn't know what had changed
inside her but now he was sure nothing had changed in him.
But how did she achieve so much success?
No he wasn't complaining or doubting her capabilities. For him he knew she had
potential but lacked proper grooming. Once he wanted to be her mentor before
everything went downhill again.
He was only concerned that how tough the journey had been for her? How much
struggle she had put herself through to come this far? What all she had sacrifice to
transform herself to this? Because who better than him knew that what struggle cam
make of you? Or, she still had the old Khushi somewhere in there inside her.
As he watched her dance in close and comfortable proximity with the Neil guy he
wondered had she moved on? Well, practically she should have, yet, the thought still
managed to create havoc in his heart. How could she mange to do that when he was
still stuck in the night six years back?
That thought stirred the hornets' nest in his head. The memories he had buried deep
long back, or so he thought, came to surface like Tsunami and hit him hard all over
again.
**
(B)
"I... I am sorry. Believe me I did not go there intentionally. They... That man , those
girls... They pushed me."
But did he believe her?
No.
The broken marriage of her sister and the leaked tape bore the proof of his disbelief
in her.
**
She was everywhere. In office, in his home, in his head. Her presence bothered him.
Her thoughts consumed him, her absence troubled him.
He tried to hate her, humiliate her, insult her but could never diminish her spirit
and she always bounced back.
And later somewhat grudgingly he accepted that he liked and cared for her when
one morning she did not come back reminding him how thoroughly he had insulted
and humiliated her the night before.
One moment he was about to kiss her in the illuminated night of Diwali and in the
next moment he declared his decision to marry Lavanya just to avoid his feeling or
to avoid the fact that he even felt something for a cheat of a girl.
Just not that, he made sure to shatter her broken heart into smithereens before he
finally left leaving her alone on the door of her own home.
But then when the news of her engagement reached his ears he couldn't stay away
and did everything under the sun to keep her close without giving any sign of
acknowledgement to her feelings or his own in that matter. But he need not to fear
as her engagement broke anyway and so his.
Then came the blissful few moments in their unnamed relationship. And he realized
that he actually loved that madcap girl.
He was so close to confessing his love but then he saw her in his Jijaji's arm.
**
I don't love Rani Sahiba. I only Love you.
Why don't you leave her then?
His trust which he had not much to begin with was broken and he decided to make
the culprits pay for daring to play with his Di's and his feelings.
**
Marry me.
What?
For 6 months.
What?
Or I will break your sister's marriage.
Why are you doing this? Why are you being so cruel? When I thought...
You don't have much time Khushi Kumari Gupta. Decide fast or once again your
sister's barat will return because of you.
OK.
**
She asked again and again that why did he punish her like this what was her fault?
Why she was made orphan again? Why no one forgave her when she did nothing
wrong.
BECAUSE I HATE YOU. I hate you so much Khushi Kumari Gupta that I feel glad
that you are going through hell.
She stumbled back and then from that day never questioned him again.
**
Her innocence was proved when he was kidnapped and she saved him by putting
herself in danger.
They decided to forgive and forget, for their love concurred over their misgivings.
**
You are the reason my Di is in this state. You are the reason that everything fall
apart in her life. You are the reason that all of our lives are in mess. Why did you
come in our life Khushi? I wish I wouldn't have met you to begin with. Why don't
you leave us and let us live in peace for once?
**
Yet again she forgave him for his rudeness and accepted to marry him willingly
after Dadi discovered their improper wedding.
It was like a dream going through all the rituals until the Sangeet day.
**
I am sorry Di.
Please bring back our Rajkumari chotte.
I am sorry Di.
**
I want my husband beside me chotte.
She needs her husband chotte.
Never that scum will enter my house again.
**
What is this man doing here?
I brought him Arnavji. Di needs him.
You betrayed me Khushi. You betrayed my trust.
But Arnavji..
GET OUT OF HERE.
**
But then again everything started becoming normal. She again bounced back as if
nothing had happened.
Only reminder of the misfortune was the presence of the slime in the house and
Dadi' sulking self.
He felt he was being impossible but then she never complained so it was okay he
would make it up to her once they got married.
**
Today don't make me wait Arnavji.
I won't. I promise. Trust Me.
I believe you. I trust you more than myself. I am waiting.
**
The girl is niece of that woman who was responsible for your parent's death; do
you still want to marry her willingly?
Does he?
Will he be able to live with the truth that he loved and married a person from the
woman's family for whom his parents died? Her mother died. For whom his Di's
marriage broke and they were brought to road?
Can he do that?
Will he be able to live with himself when he would think a few years down the line
that he was living happily with a person who is related to the woman because
whom his family fell apart? Will he be happy at all? Will he be able to make her
happy at all even when she was not at fault?
NO.
And he turned his back to her breaking all of her.
And then he did the unforgivable...
**
He thought his head will explode with too much thinking. He looked up. She looked
carefree, lovely and at ease even when she matched her steps with a guy in the beat of
a hip hop western song.
When did she learn to be such nymph?
Well, he would find out? He has to find out before he went insane.
"Aman" he furiously whispered.
His assistance came forward at once.
"Find out everything you can about her that happened in her life since she left" He
ordered.
"I will try my best ASR" Aman assured but he somehow knew the job will be difficult
owing to that she was completely gone from the face of earth until her reappearance.
He was no fool to think that it was a coincidence. And if she had a purpose then she
would have had her track clear or guarded tightly. She had the means to do that now.
For some unknown reason he felt good about the fact that she would be an equal
player in the game unlike in past.
And Aman had a feeling that this time they were going play by her rules.
**
Hope you liked this one too.
Um COG readers if you are reading his then the next update will be up on Sunday.
Thank you
Oorja
Chapter Seven
"Hey Kay, you rocked in there." It was Prince.
"Thank you" Khushi smiled genuinely. The guy was always cheerful. It feels nice to
talk to positive people.
"And I thought I was doing a favour to you by performing in your girl's request." Neil
quipped wryly as he joined them.
Prince winked playfully while Khushi raised one of her shapely brows at Neil.
He side hugged her before he said again "But I agree my baby rocks whatever she
does." His voice held genuine admiration and only Khushi and he knew the depth of
his comment. She blinked at him before concentrating on Prince again.
"Where is that fiance of yours? I don't see her around anymore." Khushi asked
looking here and after a moment or so.
That diverted Prince's attention and he excused himself to find his lady love.
"I didn't know Mr. Neil Smith to be a softy" Khushi commented lightly as soon as
Prince was gone to which Neil only shook his head before he dragged her towards the
buffet area. He was starving and his baby too needed some food in her system after a
hectic day and such smashing performance.
Both of them missed the burning eyes that bore hole in their back as they walked
away or, maybe not.
**
He knew it would be hard to corner her to talk in such crowd of people and when that
Neil guy was stuck to her side like glue. He also knew that it would be the last place
where he would confront her after years. And, though how much he hated to accept
but he knew he felt shaken after her sudden appearance before him in a completely
different avatar.
For a moment also he wasn't mistaken to think that this was just a coincidence or
some normal occurrence.
If it was normal then he would have known about her return to Delhi when she had
first stepped in the city. She had meant to give him a jolt and, he accepted to himself
only, she had achieved that quite well. He would have thought this was a coincidence
if he hadn't lost the Khurana deal to Feline or better say to her. But after seeing her
he now knew losing Khurana's order to Feline was also pre-designed. How she had
done it he would find out later but he had to give it to her that she had played her
cards well.
She had grabbed the order meant for him from under his nose and pushed him to
find about her, yet did not let herself revealed when Aman's men went sniffing
around her office. She had intrigued him with bits and pieces of information about
herself to the point that his curiosity made him come looking for her here. He
marveled how dramatically she had finally unveiled herself which had left a colossal
impact on him. And if he was not wrong then it was her way to tell him to watch out.
Yep, she was really back with a bang.
**
As he made his way towards the exit after he had taken his leave from Prince he
turned to the side where she stood with a cocktail in her hand (shock of shocks) and
talking to one of the guests. He was about to turn away but couldn't as she raised her
eyes just in time to meet his. She looked directly in his eyes unsurprisingly and
unflinchingly which meant only one thing she knew he was watching her.
He was taken aback as their eyes met. There was no trace of the old Khushi in her
glance, which was somewhat expected, but there was no trace of acknowledgement as
well.
As if their past did not exist. As if they shared nothing. As if the love was an illusion.
As if they were a stranger to each other. Yet, for a stranger, as she appeared to be, her
eyes had an intensity that had him hypnotized until the lady standing
before her called her to get her attention and she blinked freeing him from
their captivating spell.
She turned her attention to the person standing in front of her placing the polite
smile back on her face effortlessly. To him, it seemed as if it was him only who was
affected by the eye lock they shared whereas she looked as poised as ever.
Frustrated, he stomped off completely missing the knowing smirk that appeared on
her face.
**
"Why did you do that?" Neil asked conversationally.

"What?" Khushi said even though she knew what he was referring at.
As she saw his challenging expression she shook her head before giving up
the pretense and answering his question with a sardonic smile gracing her lips.
"Because I wanted to rile him up. It is fun you know."
To Neil's impatient cluck after her answer the smile left her face. "and to let him
know that I am here for payback" then she looked straight in the eyes of Neil and
finished ominously, "and he should be afraid for days to come when I am around him
if he knew me even a little in the past."
It was Neil who fast broke the eye contact and took her in a tight embrace
knowing she needed it at that moment.
No one knew but him that the wrap of toughness that she wore day in day out was
nothing but a farce. The woman in her was battered beyond repair and even if the
Raizada tried to pay her back, for every injustice done to her, with every piece of him
still it wouldn't be enough.
She went in Neil's arms gladly and let his warmth was over her. He was her anchor in
her murky world after his mother.
**
Arnav drove back like a mad man and screeched to a stop before the house but did
not leave his car immediately.
She is back. The thought swirled in his head evoking so many emotions that he could
hardly breathe.
He was happy to see her alright and God, she is a CEO of a Canada based clothing
line. She had achieved so much.
He was anguished to see the change in her from the cheerful happy go lucky girl to
the shrewd cunning woman he had a glimpse today.
He was sad that she didn't even acknowledge him.

He was guilty because he knew he was to blame for the change and for everything
that went wrong in her life since they met in that unfortunate night.
And last but not the least, which he would not accept even to his reflection, but much
as he tried, he could not deny to his conscience that he was afraid too of her sudden
arrival in Delhi. Since her whole aura screamed be aware' when she had looked in his
eyes. A look that could slice open even the dead, six feet under the ground
Suddenly he remembered what Payel said casually that day.
"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman
scorned"
Now he knew what she meant. She had come back for her pound of flesh.
So Payel knew all about her and there he thought he was the smart one. He shook his
head self-depreciatingly.
It was then it struck him, that day he had seen Khushi with Payel on that deserted
road. No wonder the woman had looked familiar.
He also realized another important thing in that moment. She was keeping tab of
everything happening in their life all along.
So she was never too far from their life, waiting for her time to strike and there he
thought he writes the destiny!
"F*CK" he swore loud. Not at all liking himself to be standing on the losing side.
He needed to get his acts together and face her. He needed to know more about her
and if possible her plans. It was never wise to wait for the opponent to strike when he
did not know how to counter attack. Especially, when the opponent was her.
He knew her more than anyone ever would know her. If she decided something
then she would go to any extreme to achieve her goal. Her actions in past taught him
that much about her. The only difference being before she was driven by love and
care for her people and now it was hate and anger.
He chuckled wryly as he thought back to the time couple of days back when he was
wondering if the CEO of Feline was worth considering a challenge for him, but it
turned out to be her would be the toughest challenge he had ever faced in his entire
life since she was the enemy against whom nor he could win, neither he could lose.
**
Here is the next installment of WSRFTA
Hope you liked it.
I am glad to find 122 likes for the last post but wouldn't it be much more encouraging
for me as the writer if you spare a few words to inspire me, to write more, to write
better?
Please let me know how do you find this story.
And one more important thing for the new readers I don't send PMs so there is no
point if you are sending a friend request for that. Though I would accept them
anyway to lengthen my friend list in the forum and hoping to have a fun experience
with you all. If you want a notification for the updates then I have options which I
have already mentioned in the fourth post in first page. Please check and select
whichever is preferable for you or you are welcome to stalk the thread for the further
update.
Thank You
Oorja
Happy Independence Day Friends!!
Chapter Eight:
Shay stood before his ma'am waiting for the orders while she looked through the
files. It was midnight but he could not complain. He was paid enough to compensate
a few sleepless night but more than he respected the woman before him to do this for
her without any qualm. She could be the worst taskmaster if she wanted to be but at
the same time she appreciated her employees for their hard work and cared for them
in her own way. He respected her for that and also he had his own reasons which
were his secret to keep.
A tall glass of fine wine held in his hand Neil leant on the table and watched Khushi
from the private bar in the corner of the study room. His eyes met over the glass with
Shay and they acknowledged each other with a slight nod in silence. They had come
back from the party an hour back and they were yet to change. But Khushi nowhere
looked near to call it a night.
Finally, Khushi broke the silence in the room and talked with authority in her voice,
"Pay him the rest of the amount and make sure the whole things stays under wrap
until the next board meeting. Also, if you find Mr. Raizada's man sniffing around our
office here or back home don't stop them just make sure they know just as much as I
want them to. I am sure Aman Mathur, Mr. Raizada's PA will come asking for an
appointment to meet me soon enough but don't give him any time until the board
meeting. Maybe later in the day. Ask our designers to submit the designs for the
summer festival by tomorrow evening they have already crossed the deadline. Inform
Kyra that I want to discuss last week's reports with her tomorrow 9:00 a.m. EDT over
a video call and keep a copy of those reports on my table before the call."
Shay noted down all the orders as fast as she shot them. Khushi passed the file back
to him and sighed softly before she gave her last instruction for the day, "You can
leave now Shay" and wished gently "good night."
Shay wished her back smiling politely before he walked out of the study leaving her
alone before Neil's watchful eyes.
**
Neil filled another glass of wine and walked to Khushi, who was sitting on a chaise
with her head thrown back over the backrest. Her eyes closed.
"Here"
Neil's quiet voice got her attention. She opened her eyes to find Neil offering him a
glass of wine and she took it gladly. As she sipped the drink she felt a little relaxed
after a whole evening of excitement and smiled her thank you to Neil before going
back to her previous posture.
"You need to live life sometimes you know Kay." Neil commented casually as he saw
her relax. He took a seat before her on the single couch keeping his eyes on her face.
Khushi did not bother to open her eyes and replied nonchalantly, "Then what do you
think I am doing now?"
"That's the difference, Kay. You are just breathing and going about your job and
chasing your goal like a machine, you are not living." Neil pointed out yet again.
This time, Khushi opened her eyes and looked straight into his, the hardness of her
eyes unmistakable, while she replied to that, "That's the best I can do Neil. And don't
tell me to live again. Because living means feeling and feeling means weakness. I
can't afford that now Neil. I have gone too far."'
"But you do feel, right?" Neil's response came without missing a beat "Hatred is a
feeling, isn't it? And you do feel love, for I am sure you don't hate me, dad or your
sister. So when you feel for people then why don't you feel for yourself a little? Why
don't you love yourself a little? All the time working or going about your aim is not
doing any good to you and I can see that. I would not have said anything if you have
looked better or satisfied after your first strike. On the contrary, you look more
restless." There was only concern in his voice.
At this point, Khushi, who had been looking agitated by the lecture so far, looked
away which only made Neil shake his head at her stubbornness. Keeping his glass
aside Neil stood up and walked to stand before Khushi. She did not look up to see his
face. And as she was sitting her head was near his waistline and she stubbornly kept
looking at his flat stomach.
Neil neither forced to make her see him in the eyes nor requested her to do so; he just
took out the glass out of her hold and kept it on the low table nearby. He wrapped his
hands around her head pulling her head gently into his body.
He smiled fondly when he felt Khushi's hands going around his waist and her head
snuggled more into his stomach seeking his warmth like a kid. He tightened his hold
and then said in a soothing whisper, "Pay them in kind what they deserve. I will be
the last person to stop you from doing that. Just don't lose yourself in the bargain
that's all I ask. Because you may not realize but you are too precious for few of us,
who don't want any harm come in your way even in your nightmares."
At this point Khushi's eyes were moist but she had long forgotten to cry. Knowing her
inability to let out her torment going inside her Neil stroked her head gulping down
the lump in his throat while his he thought in his head Mom, you shouldn't have
gone when she needed you the most.
Soon he felt Khushi hold on him loosening. He looked down to find her asleep and let
out a sigh before picking her up and heading towards her room in their new house.
He hoped with all his might that she could sleep peacefully tonight.
**
He walked in the lonely house pushing the wooden door lightly. His eyes searched
the hall for her presence. He knew she was home. He kept the black briefcase he was
carrying on the center table in the small drawing room and walked in further.
Checking the familiar place for any sign of her. The kitchen was empty and looked
like unused for quite some time.
It was in his nature to worry. And, he worried a tad bit more when it came to her
off course after his Di. So he worried that what she had been eating since the last
couple of days? She was alone in here all by herself. If she did not cook then how she
managed? Or, she was going without food since Akash took Payel back?
That thought was enough to send him frenzy. There were only three rooms in the
house and if she was not there in hers and her bua's then he knew she would be in
her parent's room. He hurriedly went in and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw
her sitting in the corner of the room.
She looked paler than he last saw her. In her white Salwar Kameez, a color people
wore while mourning, against the white wall of her parent's room she was almost
invisible save her hair. Arnav's heart clenched seeing the dead look in her eyes as
she stared into the space still unaware of his presence. Yet he consoled his heart
saying at least she was okay health wise. If only he knew!
He wanted to go to her. Take her in his arms and speak words of assurance in her
ears. He wanted to cradle her while she mourned for her mother. He wanted to kiss
her better and cocoon her to himself, protecting her from the loneliness she was
living in. But he could not. Or, he would not.
He had taken a decision a couple of months back and he would stick to it. Because it
was for the better or so he thought.
But today he was here for something that would assure her safety and future even
she would be away from all. He knew he would appear crueler than he already was
in the eyes of his Nani, NK, Payel and Her but he would do it nonetheless. Because
he was desperate to save the girl, whom neither he could accept nor could he stop
caring for, and the only relation, the sister, who cared for him and he could not
afford to lose her like his mother.
He did not care what the world would think of him after this, maybe a monster.
Well, he was already one in her eyes, or, a heartless tycoon who only knew to make
deals and contracts, even out of life, out of love and out of the most important
person in his life.
Let them think what they pleased he gave a damn. And, let her think as bad as she
could of him and curse him to hell, he deserved that. It would also help her to move
on from him.
With the resolve, his eyes hardened with determination and his soft agonized
features seeing her state a few moments back toughened to put on the mask of ASR.
He could not lose this deal today. A lot depended on his win and win he will even if
it meant the death of him, even it meant losing her forever.
She was still unaware of his presence in the room, the first occurrence of their time
together, sitting in the corner with her knees dragged up to her chest her hands
resting on them.
He cleared his throat to get her attention and he saw her eyes that were dead since
he had walked in, come a little alive as she turned to see him.
Arnavji!
She whispered his name in a voice, so soft and so fragile, full with incredulity and
something akin to relief; it almost broke his resolve to accomplish what he was here
for. Only almost.
**
Next morning Arnav sat up on his bed groggily. He hardly slept at night. The
memories that he was able to lock down after a long time resurfaced and haunted
him in his dreams whenever he dozed off.
He rubbed his face vigorously with both hands to get rid of the dizziness, an
aftereffect of the lack of sleep.
HP walked in with his coffee which he took gratefully and started sipping, hoping
that it would take away the restlessness in his whole body.
The flashes of last night came and went before his eyes reminding him of her. And
more he remembered the more restless he felt. He tried to match her last night image
to the image of her that he had in his head from five years back and not surprisingly
they did not match other than her face. But yes her eyes matched one image that he
had of her from their last visit, unfeeling, unflinching and hard before he left the
house that day. His fists clenched as his mind threatened to slip into the past again.
Gulping the rest of the coffee in one long swig he banged the mug on the side table
and stomped off towards the washroom hoping a warm bath would help him to clear
his mind.
**
Chapter Nine
Arnav came down after getting ready for office. He saw everybody assembled in the
dining table to have breakfast but a gloomy silence encompassed the area save the
clanking sounds of the cutleries.
So they are still mourning. Over what he did not have any idea and guess what, he
did not want to know as well. Anyways he needed peace of mind and this silence felt
like Godsend.
As he bit into his toast he debated that should he tell his family about Khushi's
arrival or not. But then as he moved his eyes on each face present there he decided
that they did not need to know and he did not want to tell them just yet. Because that
would only ensue chaos and he did not need an extra dose of it when he had one
going inside his head already.
And it did not seem that his family really bothered beyond their whims and fancies
these days except Nani.
He did not have a chance to find out before and then he did not care but after the
sudden departure of his sister in law he had started to see things in new light.even
though he knew his family wasn't the ideal but he had started to acknowledge the
abnormalities in their ways now.
He again looked up from his plate to see Nani sat rigidly on her matriarch chair
playing with her food lost in her thoughts. The chair to her right was occupied by his
Dadi, a kind of her own and the less he thought about her the better.
Then his eyes fell on his Di. She did not seem to grow up from her role of an adored
daughter of the house, protected delicate sister of a brother and off course a foolishly
besotted wife. Oh, and adding to her charms, also a clueless mother.
She still cried a river at the drop of a hat. She still dragged him against his wish to
give her company for her numerous religious activities even when she knew he did
not really fit in those gatherings. She still refused to see facts staring on her face and
she still went overboard with smallest of things.
Despite, he still loved and cared for her sister more than anyone on the earth (as he
made himself believe so), she might have lost a little bit of respect from his eyes.
Though he tried not to accept this consciously.
Arnav always admired the people who were their own person and believed to stand
on their own feet not relying on others and his Di was anything but that. Suddenly
Khushi's face from last night flashed before his eyes and he squeezed them shut to
get rid of it. No, he could not compare his DI to Khushi.
Then his heart asked, 'why? She too had seen trying times. More than his Di could
ever imagine. He himself was witnessed to her misery because he himself had caused
the most of it in his quest to safeguard his precious Di. Yet, she had emerged stronger
and his Di was still where she was five years back, in her own happy bubble where
everything was right for her and, scared of the slightest of prick that may burst it.'
This time, his mind could not come back with a plausible answer to defy the heart so
it said quite unintelligently and doggedly 'because Di is Di and she has me.'
And, then he heard his heart gave a pitying laugh letting him know precisely how
pathetic he sounded.
Unable to take the argument going between his heart and mind he snapped his eyes
open and his direct gaze fell on his brother who appeared too lost to even play with
the food on his plate.
He remembered the day when he had walked in after seeing Payel safe and
encountered his brother in the same hall where the showdown happened. He had
seen Akash sitting in the same place staring blankly into the space just like now.
He was about to walk past him when his cousin's voice called him from behind.
"Bhai"
He did not look back for he could not bring himself to look at him.
For a brother whom he thought a good human being with a kind heart he turned
out to be another Arvind Malik who may not drove his wife to death, a credit hat
was entirely his wife's, but drove her away breaking her heart anyway.
He felt to him like another Shyam who may not be greedy for money or making an
unwilling maiden his victim of his lust but he betrayed his wife nonetheless.
He seemed like another Arnav Singh Raizada to him, a thoroughly twisted flawed
human being.
And, above all this man let the sister go for whom the other sister sacrificed all that
she held dear thus making him feel all the more enraged and guilty.
"I am sorry."
Akash's voice cut into his thought and he flared, "I am not the one you should be
saying sorry to and even if you say sorry to her it won't be enough." Saying that he
tried to walk away again but again his brother's voice stopped him in his track. He
closed his eyes in frustration yet stopped to hear him nevertheless.
"I know. But she has set herself free already and she does not need my sorry. Still, I
want to explain. Will you please hear me?"
His plea compelled him to turn and look at Akash. He looked like a clueless lost child
and Arnav couldn't help but nod agreeing to hear him. At last, he was the brother
he had spent a large part of his life with. Known as a family since his Nani took
them in after his parents committed suicide. He had grown up with him like blood
brothers. He deserved at least one hearing.
He sat down before Akash and signed him to continue.
"I loved her you know I did," Akash spoke urging Arnav to support him on this one
but he did not give any sign of agreement hence he sighed and said what he wanted
at least someone to hear and tell him in return that he was not completely at fault.
"But I could never muster enough courage to stand against my mother even when
she was wrong. You know my inability to go against my mother for anything.
That's why you had to convince her for our marriage and I was happy. Even after
your sudden marriage with Khushi when the house was in an uproar we still
managed to have some good times of our lives together."
"All was well or so I thought until your kidnapping. But once it was revealed that
how Shyam was responsible for the crime and how he had betrayed Guptas by
staying in their home and getting engaged to Khushi portraying himself as an
orphan bachelor and how they had hidden it from us I was disappointed in Payel,
however, Ma was mad. She never left a chance to insult her. She never left a chance
to point out what a fool I was to marry her, a middle class gold digger, who in her
wish to marry me without any glitch had hidden such a huge thing."
"I knew she was making a mountain out of a molehill. And, her cruel remarks day
in and day out breaking Payel bit by bit, harming our relationship in the process
still I could not ask her to shut up in plain words like your would have done."
Akash looked up at his brother's stern face, the rage blazing in his eyes, and gulped.
It was his need to speak and let out the burden in his chest that forced him to talk
again even though, he doubted his decision to talk to his brother of all the people.
"It was so frustrating to get sandwiched between your mother and wife and mostly
when you cannot choose a side. I could not take it. It was that point when we
started to drift away. Then again things started to settle in the house and you
decided to marry Khushi again. I thought now things will get better between us.
How wrong I was?" Akash shook his head and this time when his eyes met Arnav's
he saw the fire was missing replaced by a haunting look.
Understanding what his brother was thinking he whispered his next set of words,
"The blow which came next blew away whatever little was left in between us."
Akash stopped to breathe. Arnav though had forgotten to breathe a long back. The
ghost of his past came alive as Akash recalled those days before him and he could
not help but live them once again. Shuddering, as the images that started to engulf
his whole being.
Unaware of his brother's turmoil Akash continued in soft tone "After the fiasco on
the day of your marriage, coupled with her mother's death after a week and later
Khsuhi's disappearance pushed Payel to depression. I tried to help her but she
refused to take any help from me. Maybe I could have tried harder but then again I
was never the strong willed person I should have been. So when she pushed I let
myself fall and drown." Akash cleared his throat as he felt his voice
choked. Because as much as he recalled and narrated the past he realized with each
sentence, each word, the magnanimity of his own cowardice and spineless act. He
felt nothing like a man, not at all.
"There was nothing left between us. We were just sharing a room and a bed that's
all. We did not even speak a word more than necessary in last five year."
"Still, I did not want to cheat her." He said beseechingly and then his voice dropped
and Arnav knew what his brother was going to confess. He detested that he would
have to hear this. God, why all men in his house are such two timers and
scoundrels?
"I don't know when how I got involved with Sheetal. Being the coward I kept the
affair under the wrap and I thought I did a pretty good job until last night. Payel
cleared my misunderstanding that I was fooling none. She asked for a divorce I
could have agreed then and there saving all of you the drama today, but suddenly I
felt scared. She had become a habit and I could not let her go so easily. Again a
wrong step on my part."
Akash in no point glorified his foolish acts trying to give logic to them and may be
that was why Arnav had the patience to hear him so far. He concluded his monolog
saying "I don't expect any understanding from you Bhai by saying all this. I just
wanted to tell someone. That's all."
Arnav squeezed his eyes shut and tried to hide the anguish in his heart. He had
failed royally securing the relationships once he vowed to protect. His Di lived in
illusion. His Mami, Dadi, refused to see sense. His Nani was just passing her days
and stayed aloof from the matters of the house as much as she could. And here his
brother who turned out to be the black sheep of the house. But he knew he was no
one to judge and he told the same to him.
"I wish I could rebuke you for your deeds like I really want to and punch you black
and blue for ruining a life. But I know I should be the last person to judge you
because I am too responsible for this disaster and I am too guilty of something
similar. So I will keep my thoughts to myself and only suggest you that try to grow
some spine if not for anyone at least for yourself. Will be better for you in future"
And with that, he left that day not looking back and since then until now he did not
talk to his cousin.
He dragged his eyes back to his plate but his appetite was gone hence he left the table
as fast as he could and walked out of the house after kissing his niece good bye.
**
Khushi Gupta Smith, 27, also known as Kay among her people is adopted
daughter of Liam Smith and Sweta Feona Smith (wife). They adopted her
legally about five years back and she joined Mrs. Smith's boutique as her
assistant. The couple already has one son born to them, Neil Smith, 33.
[Liam Smith, 58, the owner of a chain of hotels and restaurants, Smithy's
spread around the whole of the US. He is planning to expand his business
in Asia as well. He is also the chairman of Feline at present.
Sweta Feona Smith, wife of Mr. Smith, the late owner of Feline. She
passed away last year at the age of 55 due to cardiac arrest.
Neil Smith, son of Mr and Mrs Smith, CEO of Smithy's and also one of the
four MDs of Feline.]
Feline was Mrs. Smith's business which she started after their son Neil
too joined Mr. Smith in their hospitality business some 7 years back. As
Father and Son traveled a lot for business that was spread all over the
States, she started feeling lonely and to overcome the loneliness and
boredom she took interest in her old hobby again, that was of stitching
and creating intricate designs on clothes. It was running okay until their
adopted daughter joined the business. Soon it started to flourish opening
its branches in and outside the city.
They started fashion designing also while Mr. Smith backed them with
the financial support they needed. In last five years, the company has
only grown creating an identity for itself in the West.
After a year or so Mrs. Smith promoted Ms. Smith (Khushi) to the post of
General Manager when she turned down the offer of becoming one of the
MDs saying she wasn't experienced enough to take the place yet.
After another year she took her place among the MDs.
Last year before her death Mrs. Smith made Ms. Smith the CEO of the
company, while the chairmanship remained with Mr. Liam Smith.
Mr. Neil Smith (Marketing), Mrs. Grace Owen (Partner and Cousin of
Late Mrs. Smith, looks after the publicity area) and Ms. Kyra John Clair
(the head of the Designing and production area).
All MDs are obliged to report Ms. Smith (CEO) and she has the power to
take the final decision. She also holds the power of attorney to take
decision for the company on behalf of the Chairman. She owns the
second largest share in the company after Mr. Liam Smith, 25%.
Being the legally adopted daughter of the Mr. and Mrs. Smith she also
owns her fair share in Smithy's though she doesn't participate in the
business actively.
Right now Ms. Khushi Gupta Smith is in India, Delhi, for their new
project. She plans to open a few branches of Feline in major cities of
India, which is Late Mrs Smith and her motherland as well.
"That's all" Arnav exclaimed as he finished reading the typed one-page report on
Khushi that Aman's men had brought this morning. "This is you call investigation
report! I can find all this detail just searching in Google." He exploded.
First of all seeing Khushi being addressed as Ms. Smith did not sit well with him and
then the way she was intricately woven into the life of This Smith family also getting
on to his nerves.
How did all this happen? How she reached there in the first place? A girl with
nothing disappeared in a night of calamity and then, out of the blue turned back to
the same place strong and powerful. How did this change happen?
Not knowing anything only was adding to his agitation. So far in last five years, he
had thought maybe she was in a better place hence she did not want to come back or
maybe she had gone forever to the point of no return. Yet, He had tried to look for
her all over India. Though his searches met no result.
And, he had punished himself whenever he had met a dead end. He had burned in
agony. He had cursed himself to hell and back for throwing her into the dark. Never
he could forgive himself even a little. There was no consolation for what he had
pushed her into.
But never ever had he thought that she could be out of India in a foreign country
learning business acumen and growing a business at the same time. And, now she
was back and he knew it was not just for business. She had her personal agenda and
he needed to know what was it?
While he would not mind if she punished him for his actions in the past in a most
brutal way, he would not let her do anything that may harm his family anyway. What
he did to her they were nowhere responsible for it. He was her guilty and whatever
she had planned for him he would face it, hell, he would welcome it with open arms.
But if she had planned to strike his family anyway then she would see his ASR side
yet again, as much as it hurts him.
He knew her Feline was nowhere near AR but he also knew she had supports from
her adopted family the Smiths. They had the power to challenge AR if needed. So she
was a strong competent that way. But still, it would be hard for her to strike his
business randomly without a solid plan when he was there to protect AR.
While he had confidence that he can save his company from any blow he was not so
sure about the family. Just the news of her comeback can create havoc inside the
family. And then the leech may try to stray once again. Oh, he did not even want to
think the outcome of it if that ever happened.
Aman's voice cut through the haze of emotions, the effect of his thinking spree, "Sir
our people says with little more time they might be able to come with some more
information. However, they also told me that looking at the things it also seems that
this Khushi Gupta-Smith already knows that we will try to pry information about her
so she has her track tightly leaded. Other than the company and her professional
information along with a little tit bit into her personal life, she seems completely
untouchable."
Arnav did not miss the awe in Aman's voice. His grim face remained taut long after
Aman was gone.
Looks like its time that he meets Ms. Khushi Gupta Smith personally.
**
So that was it. Let me know your views on this part.

Chapter Ten
[Before you start reading you should know one thing, I have very little knowledge
about business and its tactics so please don't mind if you find something illogical in
this update.]
As instructed Shay declined Aman's request for a formal meet anytime soon leaving a
certain Riazada disconcerted beyond measure.
There was another bad news for his company. Seems like, some faceless S. Steve had
acquired 5% of AR's share from public domain making himself eligible for the post of
one of the directors in AR while, one of the MDs/AR partners had sold 2% of share in
market due to a sudden financial need in his other business without informing the
company. And, the strange thing was someone had swept the shares of the market as
soon as they landed. Like they were just waiting for their chance.
Arnav wanted to sue the person but unfortunately, it was his personal share and he
was not obliged to give reasons or inform the company about selling them until the
percentage of share remained below 3%. So he was worried. Loosing 7% company
shares in a couple of days to unknown sources could be considered as dreadful news.
But he would have to wait until the next board meeting to see the repercussions of
this sudden loss of shares. Another 3 days.
But he could not wait another 3 days to meet her. He would not be able to rest until
he talked to her face to face. How could she ignore him so?
Aman had informed him that he had only got an appointment to meet her was of 3
days later for an afternoon slot. Even his name did not work to earn any sooner day
or time. And, if he was honest he was hurt more than being angry for such
inconsideration from her but there was no way he would wallow in self-pity or
anything such so he had decided hunt down his prey in an informal way, in his way.
**
Sitting on the edge of the driving seat of his BMW he watched with hawk eyes as she
stepped out of Payel's modest office of her catering business and waved lightly, a
faint smile on her lips. She looked serene in a cream & pink colored kameez and
churidar. It was a designer ensemble and she did full justice to it with her radiant
face, curvy figure and confident aura. She wore her hair in a side bun. She had not
taken a stole and Arnav could only think how much she had changed.
(image credit Google)
When Payel smiled gently reciprocating her gesture, she turned back putting on a
pair of shades and sat on the driver seat of the black Jaguar parked in front of the
gate. Payel walked off inside the building while she drove off, him trailing behind.
**
He had asked his investigators to keep an eye on Payel knowing she would meet her
sister regularly and when she paid her next visit it was his chance to say hello too.
His investigators had informed him just after Payel left Shanitvan that she was
staying in Lakshminagar but Khushi had bought a bungalow near her office. He had
thought the sisters will now stay together after being separated for so many years but
he was surprised when this piece of information reached him. Anyways that only
gave him a chance to have the impromptu meeting with her as he planned.
**
She had seen the white BMW x6 behind her car through the rare view mirror. She
would not have thought the car was following hers if she wouldn't have known who
the owner was of the car. The other day in the party she had seen him climbing the
same car and lashing out of the place in a mad rush. She had noted the ASR on the
number plate that night, the straight metallic alphabets, which she could now make
out through her rare view mirror clearly. The man had a penchant for letting the
world know what belonged to him, didn't he?
For a moment she was tempted to call her bodyguards. She normally did not let them
follow her when she went out for personal business. She also did not want to
intimidate Payel with two men in black following her with licensed guns in her
simple office showing the exact power she held now and the danger it brought. She
wanted to ease Payel in her new life slowly and effectively. They both had gone
through a lot and they both deserved an unhurried and pleasing recovery and refresh
their bond.
She took a deep breath. Neil would bite her head off if he knew what she was going to
do now but she had learned to face her demons and she would do just that. Anyways
she knew he wouldn't back off and soon find a way to corner her if the chase went on
then why not turn the game over and tell him on his face that she wasn't his prey
anymore.
Maybe she did not anticipate this move from him, but it shows how impatient he was
to meet her and she would take this chance. She would rattle him a little more to
ensure a little extra fun in what she had planned in 3 days time.
Suddenly she screeched to a halt tilting her car to the right effectively blocking the
way for any car to pass. Well, this road was almost empty save their cars and she
could expect privacy for next 10-15 minutes. Enough for this impromptu meet.
**
Arnav had to put an emergency break, his head saved by a centimeter from hitting
the steering wheel, surprised by her sudden move. It took him a few seconds to
gather his bearings.
He shook his head and looked up to find her coming out of her car lazily. He was
fascinated by the aura she emitted. She looked anything but Khushi.
Even after pulling a stunt like this she looked calm collected and confident to weather
any storm. She looked ready to take on the world and him as she leaned on her car
arms crossed over her breasts waiting for him to make a move.
**
He came out of his car closing the door behind but not making a move to closing the
distance between them.
It felt unbelievable almost serene. She after five years standing before him in real was
too much to absorb for him in one meeting.
The other night he had felt seeing her was a strange dream that he had hoped to be
real yet feared to become true. He had felt that all the investigation and the news that
he had received so far about her was part of his dream like sometimes you dream in
your dream and when you wake up in your dream and think it to be your reality. He
had felt the same. But today seeing her standing there in all her glory almost melted
him in his spot. The dangling earring in her ears that caught the sunlight and
glittered made his eyes shine. If only she took out her shades and he could see her
eyes. The same eyes that had lightened his world and then darkened them at the
same time, loving and accusing.
As if hearing his heart's plea she slowly raised her right hand to take off the colored
glasses and then he saw her eyes, no longer loving or accusing but piercing digging in
his outer layer and reaching his soul. He shuddered.
He saw the left corner of her lips pull up in a crooked smirk enough to bring back his
composure and shuttering his emotions.
He took measured steps all the time taking in her vision watching her motionless
waiting for him to reach her. She had no wish to meet him half way.
Though he had the predatory gleam in his eyes but she did not look like a prey. She
reminded him of an ambush predator, sitting and waiting for her kill to reach
her. But did he care?
She could kill him and resurrect him in next breath and kill him again and still he
wouldn't mind because dying was easy than going through the torment every day that
he went through.
As those thoughts swirled in his head closed most of the distance between them and
came to a halt in a hand distance from her. She was so near yet so far. He could touch
her yet his hands felt too burdened to hold her.
**
"Arnav Singh Raizada, we meet again." Her detached voice greeted him unpleasantly,
never pretending to not know him.
He had already guessed that he was caught following her but what he did not expect
was her to speak to him without him forcing her to. So for a moment he stared at her
speechless and noticed for the umpteenth time how far she looked from her old self.
Just the face of his Khushi, not the heart and soul and he knew there was none to
blame for her change but him. He choked inwardly as he held his breath from sighing
out loud in despair.
"How are you?" He took the formal and impersonal way. The way he knew to evade
being emotional.
She chuckled with humor the sound of which seemed hollow and grated in his ears.
"As you see." Came her twisted answer.
He looked away troubled, as he did not know how to communicate with this new
version of Khushi and little-exasperated understanding that she was not going to
make it easy either.
"I see." He said barely, looking down at his feet and suddenly lifted his gaze to meet
her unwavering gaze, his eyes glinting. "You were not supposed to come back."
She stood straight. Something flashed in her eyes as he said that but the unfeeling
look came back again even before he could comprehend.
"I know but I never gave my words. Did I?" She drawled.
He knew she did not. It was him who forced her away.
"No. But you are still bound by the contract." And then he added for a good measure.
"Bound as long as you live."
She laughed mirthfully, "Don't be so sure Raizada." She said controlling herself. "It
wasn't written on the stone and not so difficult that couldn't be taken care of by a
little money."
"So you think you have enough money to challenge Arnav Singh Raizada, Khushi.
Kumari.Gupta." he was enraged. He was hurt.
Her hands fell on her sides and her eyes took a darker shade the calm in her voice
stayed intact. "Khushi Gupta-Smith has enough money to challenge the contract Mr.
Arnav Singh Raizada." In that one line, she let him know that he had no control over
her or over her life anymore. She was her own master. "but on the hindsight, I have
not breached any term of that pathetic contract so far then why are you so worked up
anyway?" In then end her voice had taken a lighter tone, almost amused.
"Then why are you here in Delhi?" Arnav asked losing his patience even before he
could gather some, little shaken by her reply.
"Seems like, you have forgotten the terms of your own contract. I suggest you go back
and read it again and you will have your answer." Saying that she turned. Her right
hand reaching the door handle. She was ready to leave.
"Wait." Arnav could not let her go so soon. He had too many questions.
Khushi turned. She had already worn her shades again. She waited for him to speak.
Her serenity pushing him to the edge.
She enjoyed this little victory , though it felt someone was squeezing her heart in his
fist while he brought up the contract. It reminded her things she wished she could
forget but her body bore the testimony of those memories never letting her forget.
"Where were you in these five years? And why are you back all of a sudden like this?"
He waved his right hand in her direction. His movement emphasizing that he wanted
to know how this change happened.
He could not see her eyes but he knew her eyes were on his. But she did not answer
instantly and let the silence get to him and when he was on the verge of losing his
cool again her voice floated to him.
"You should not be asking the first question, to begin with, and you know why."
Yes, he knew he shouldn't have. His act five years back was the reason enough for
anyone to believe that he would be the last person to care for her whereabouts. But
the thing was he did and he still does. But she wasn't going to believe that. Was she?
"And to answer your next question, I guess you have already done your homework so
it should not be news to you that I am here for expanding my business."
"No, that's not the only reason" He defied her without missing a beat.
She smirked in reply.
"You think too much Raizada." She sounded detached again but her voice turned to
playful as she said, "But you think right." With the tip of her index finger she tipped
her shades down a little and winked startling Arnav. She pushed them back soon
again and opened the driver seat door before she said her parting words "Now keep
guessing what I am up to till we meet again." And then she added as an afterthought
after she made herself comfortable on her seat "very soon". With that, she closed the
door not giving Arnav the time to recover.
Arnav jumped back as she reversed her car to make it straight on the road and then
drove off, leaving him puzzled more than he was before.
**
Chapter Eleven
Arnav Singh Raizada, he looked as dashing as ever even in his 36. He still wore his
three pieces and still carried a body and persona that was ogle-worthy. He still tried
to stare down his opponent, a trick that always achieved what it aimed, to intimidate.
Well almost always. But not those who knew him and his tactics well enough to
ignore some of them as not as threatening he meant it to look. And for Khushi she
didn't care, for she had long back buried all her feelings in the depth of despair along
with fear.
Her face hardened as she thought about what she had planned for a little surprise for
the ASR three days later and smirked. Mr. Raizada was in for a shock and she
couldn't wait to see his face.
She wailed and wailed. She howled. But the pain refused to lessen. Her heart felt
heavier, as the time passed for her, to carry in her fragile body. Then why did they
say that morning helps to lighten the burden in your heart? If so then why even
after days she was still crying in unbearable agony?
Mrs. Smith tried to hold her shaking body, tried to gather her frail form that racked
with sobs in her embrace and failed miserably. She shaded tears of helplessness
looking pleadingly at the middle-aged kind nurse standing in the corner who was
trying hard to control her own emotions seeing the poor girl who looked like a
death would have been a better option for her than living in so much pain.
Neil and Mr. Smith stood in the doorway watching anxiously with their moist eyes
and their hands fisted on their sides the nurse nod to Mrs. Smith and started
preparing to inject the sedative in the drip that was connected to Khushi's vein on
her right wrist.
All of them cursing a faceless Arnavji' in their head to hell and back.
Suddenly Khushi screamed I CANT... I CANT ... LET ME GO' and jumped out of the
bed wildly. All of them rushed to hold her back as she tried to make a run for the
door. She wriggled, screamed, kicked in the air as Neil held her from her waist
blocking her from moving too far from the bed. The channel on her wrist had
already started to bleed. She pleaded, threatened, screamed and she yowled until
she went limp in their hold as the sedative kicked in her system at last.
It was a pain so intense that even the reminder of it made her feel powerless all over
again. Well, it did not mean that it had gone away. It was just that she had learnt to
live with it.
The loud honk from the car overtaking hers jerked her back to reality and she
gripped the steering wheel tighter to get back her slipping control.
**
Arnav stormed in Shantivan that night only to be greeted by the sight of his Di,
suffering from another bout of hysteria. He wondered, what now, as he approached
Anjali at a fast pace. His mood already soured after that unnerving meeting with
Khushi.
A frantic and crying Anjali sat in the middle of the hall holding Shyam's hand in a
death grip, who though tried to look concern but Arnav did not fail to notice the
annoyance in his features or a mad glint in his eyes. Mami and Dadi were hovering
over them while Akash stood little away looking concerned. HP in a corner stood
with a perturbed Piya. Only Nani was missing from the scene.
Arnav gestured HP to take Piu away. The child did not need to watch her mother's
another breakdown for the silliest reason.
"What happened Di?" Arnav asked trying to keep the irritation out of his voice. He
did not need this too. All he wanted was to come back home and take a warm bath. A
cup of hot coffee and some peace to think straight.
Don't lose it... don't lose it, he chanted while he waited for his Di to speak that how
she missed an auspicious muhurta for some puja or how some inauspicious
occurrence troubled her for her husband's life or his. Or something on the same line.
But whatever he expected was nothing near to what he heard next.
"She is back, Chote. She is back." Anjali croaked out in between her sobs.
If others were confused Arnav exactly knew who she was talking about but the
question was how she came to know?
And his Di answered the unasked question for him "I went to meet one of my old
friend in a caf near Payelji's wife and while coming back I saw her. She is back. Now
what will I do?" She looked towards Shyam next and wailed.
Akash's head shot up as he heard Payel's name praying what he guessed was not
true. His eyes fell on his brother and he was taken aback seeing the shock on his
face. It was like he knew who Di was talking about but did not expect her to know. So
did that mean what he was thinking is true? God!
Dadi and Mami still darted their eyes one each of their faces confused unable to
guess who Anjali was talking about.
Shyam looked like he knew but did not open his mouth rather choosing to console
Anjali by patting her back and saying Rani Sahiba with each pat.
"Who are you talking about?" Finally, Dadi asked little irritated by the long stretched
suspense.
"Khushi Dadi. Khushi Gupta. She is back in town." Anjali cried out shocking the two
ladies out of their mind. "She is inauspicious, a bad omen for this house. Whenever
she is around something is sure to go wrong. See how Payelji left. I still can't forget
what she did before she left. Why did she come back?" Anjali muttered loudly before
crying out her favourite toy's name "Chote"
When she did not get the expected response or the predictable outburst she looked
up to see the spot where her brother stood a moment back was now empty. She saw
Akash's eyes following someone behind her. Forgetting her tears she turned to check
and found her brother climbing the stairs hurriedly not sparing a look back in her
direction. She frowned trying to understand his weird behavior and then with a jolt
realized what she had just told his brother. Oh, poor chote! And she shed some more
tears while Dadi and Mami consoled her cursing Khushi under breath.
Little did they know that it was not the news of Khushi's comeback, but Anjali's
words that made him walk away. No one knew better than him that it was never her
at fault but them. It was the Raizadas who descended on her like a bad omen, like a
curse and destroyed her simple innocent life to the bits.
In all the chaos no one noticed how Shyam's face lost color with the mention of
Khushi. A memory of about five years back suddenly came back making him
shudder.
"See Khushi Ji, how lame Arnav's love was for you. He claimed to love you the most.
In one hand he promised you star and the moon and on the other hand he left you
at the alter waiting for him. If this was his love then what good is it?" Shaym said
with passion.
Khushi only stared at a point beyond his shoulder. Not really listening what he was
saying. She only came to the Mandir unable to bear the silence in the house
anymore. But her bad luck he found her here.
"He disrespected you once with the contract because he believed the worst of you
and now he believed in his Dadi's word and left you again on the day of your
wedding." He tried to look angry hiding his glee.
Shaking his head he continued, "Poor Garima aunty she couldn't survive the shock
and left us. Now you are all alone in the world. Payel too left for Shantivan. I
shuddered to think how you will manage in that empty house alone." There was
something sinister in his voice as he talked about her being alone, but Khushi was
beyond catching the malice in his voice in her dazed state.
"And look at me Khushiji still, after all, this I still love you and want you in my life,
if only you believe me and agree to marry me. I will keep the world at your feet."
He had held her arms by then.
His touch brought Khushi back to her senses. She flinched as she felt his hands on
her bare arms and jerked them off of her arms violently in disgust.
"Don't touch me." She hissed out.
Taken aback by her sudden outrage Shaym stuttered looking here and there to
check if someone had seen her extreme reaction, "Bu... But Khushiji, I was only
trying to say..."
"Say what?" She almost screamed. "You leech." Shyam cowered as he heard her,
fearing someone will hear her and then the crowd around might beat him up for
harassing a girl. He tried unsuccessfully tried to calm Khushi down, "Please
Khushiji no need to yell. I will go if that's what you want."
"YES. YES, I WANT YOU TO GO AWAY. Your presence suffocates me." She shouted
but her last words were all but jut audible whisper drained of all energy.
"Okay. Okay, Khushiji. I am going but think about what I said. It is not easy for a
single woman to live in this world without anyone to lean on in the hours of need
and for you, it would be more difficult I guess you know that, right? What's with the
6-month contract marriage and then left at the altar by the same husband as an
unmarried bride. Such a scandal!" he gloated, "On top of that your mother's name
had also been dragged in the mud as a second woman in Arnav's father life. People
are not going to leave the matter to go easily without their share of gossip. The
society will leech on you Khushiji. You don't even have enough means to live now,
do you?" Shyam tried but failed very hard to sound sympathetic at all. "So think
carefully about my offer. You can have at least secure life if you accept." He
bargained feeling triumphant as Khushi kept mum all the while he spoke only
blankly looking at his face. He was confident that he had made an impact on her
mind by his last dialogue.
"Okay."
The word uttered steadily took Shyam by surprise. He didn't expect such easy
acceptance. But his lips stretched in utter joy nonetheless. But his feeling of glee was
short lived as he heard what she said next giving a feeling of dj vu to two of her
listeners and another one the shock of a lifetime.
"You love me, right?" Shyam gave an imperceptive nod which was ignored by the
other two listeners as their wide eyes were stuck on Khushi's face.
"Leave Anjali Ji and come with me. We will be together far from here. Will you do it
for me? You know I don't need any worldly thing... only love. So you don't have to
worry about other things just hold my hands and let's run away from this place.
And we will be together and happy. Can you do that for me?" She urged oblivious of
the audiences.
Shyam started sweating under his shirt. She had again said that. She had again
caught him for what he was, a liar. He had no intention of being with her. He was
just interested in having her once at least. He had obsessed over her since so long
that it felt injustice to him for being denied of this forbidden fruit again and again.
But seemed like another of his attempts had failed miserably as she had played the
only card that she knew could be played against him and win without trying hard.
He could not leave Rani Sahiba for anything and for anyone. Period.
"Scared are we now Shyam Manohar Jha?" It was her time to gloat. Laughing
humorlessly she gasped out "So much for the big words of love and respect,
Shyamji?" His name sounded like the most heinous slang from her mouth.
Her eyes hardened in an instance as she gritted out in a dangerous tone "Leave.
Leave from here before I give in to the temptation of killing you. You don't deserve
to die on this holy ground. LEAVE." She all but screeched the last word out.
Shaym tumbled on his feet as he tried to leave as fast as his leg could take him away
from the girl who looked mad enough to follow her threat without a second thought.
But his legs halted at the sight before him. His eyes ready to pop out from their
socket.
Seeing the funny expression on his face Khushi turned to the same direction to find
the reason of his shock and the sight only made her rue the day of her birth once
again making her ask in her head once again Why Devi Mayiaa? Why?
Arnav Singh Raizada stood in front of them supporting his unconscious sister
looking ready to draw blood.
What she failed to notice that the fury was only directed to only one person, this
time, standing beside her on the verge of peeing in his pant under the ASR's furious
gaze.
His sister might only have heard the part that made Khushi look and sound like a
home wrecker and passed out due to the shock but he had heard and saw it all from
the beginning. This time, Arnav Singh Raizada exactly knew what Khushi had
meant with her words and action and who was at fault. And if not his unconscious
sister he would have beaten the filthy cheat to death but again his Di was his
priority and needed his attention then. So scooping her in his arms he had walked
away to the direction of his SUV but not before sending a warning glare to Shyam
through his eyes that had him recoiled. He wanted to assure her as well that he
didn't misunderstand her words this time, that he had heard it all and even if he
hadn't he would have believed her nevertheless. But he never found the chance
because she had already walked away thinking the worst of him.
He had taken that as a sign thinking it's the universe's way to tell him that they were
not meant to be together and thus it should not bother any of them that what they
thought of the other. But if only it would have stayed that way. Well, it would have, if
not for Anjali's breakdown when she had gained her senses back on that fateful day.
And again he had sacrificed Khushi for his Di's happiness selfishly, guiltily.
**
Chapter Twelve
Arnav walked in the office. His strides held power. Anybody who saw him now would
not mistake him to think as invincible. Little did they would know the uneasy feeling
that churned in his inside like something untoward was going to happen.
A pro in keeping the faade of ASR he easily fooled his stuff even his brother as he
entered the conference room where the board meeting was about to ensue.
He nodded to all the MDs and the directors who already sat around the large oval
table looking grim. His eyes bore hole on the head of the person who had sold his 2%
share inviting another crisis on AR sooner than later. Mr. Hemanth partner/MD of
AR looked away but not before Arnav noticed his defiant look.
His Mamaji, who had come just a day back from a trip to their offices in the States
tried to crack a smile among the grim faces but seemed like the tensed atmosphere
had dumped his effervescent Mamaji's spirit as well as his smile looked more like a
grimace than a pleasant gesture.
Akash, who sat on Arnav's left did not meet his father's eyes as he was yet to know his
deeds and he did not want to imagine what would be his reaction once he knew.
Arnav's eyes roamed over all the known faces searching for the one new face who was
supposed to sign in as one of the board members today but he found none other than
one empty chair next to his Mamaji. So he assumed the new member was yet to
come. He checked his watch and found it was still five minutes left from the starting
time.
They all decided to wait as it was the rule but that did not stop the members to
discuss the issue among themselves and Arnav could hear the hum of their voice but
did not feel like either joining them or stop them for that matter. He sat rigid waiting
for this to over so that he could go back to the confine of his office and relax so he
could shake off the ominous feeling.
**
There was a knock on the door of the conference room dot on 10, the fixed time of the
meeting. A hush fell down in the room instantly as they waited for the new person to
enter, curious to put a face on the faceless man who was successful in eating up their
peace of mind since the time they had come to know that they had lost 5% of
company share to him.
The door creaked open in the pin drop silence. And then it happened several jaws hit
the floor along with Mamaji and Akash's. Arnav though held himself in check but
even he looked plausibly pale. Only one of the not so old members of the board of
directors looked clueless and also a little amused seeing their reaction.
**
'Khushi', came his Mamaji's shocked whisper which sounded louder in the otherwise
soundless room.
She stood in the doorway in full sleeves yellow shirt tucked in her black formal pants,
looking radiant and professional at the same time and attractively so. Her hair fell on
her right shoulders done in a side ponytail. Her feet encased in a pair of black pumps
with about 2inches heels. A folder up on her left arm held securely near her chest.
**
Khushi cracked a faint smile of acknowledgement with a polite "Good morning

Gentlemen" before she walked in and took the empty seat next to Mamaji with a
poise that they had hardly seen in her when she was around often years back letting
all the members present there know that it was her they were waiting for so long.
There was a buzz around the table which soon turned into a full-blown chaos until
Arnav's booming voice called out a loud "Silence Please" commencing sure silence.
**
All looked at Khushi confusingly and then at a very uncomfortable looking Arnav
questioningly as if asking him to explain that how did this happen?
Arnav did not know what to think of it. They were waiting for a Mr. Steve and here
Khushi sat in the place of the faceless man clearly claiming her place on the board.
He had no idea how did this happen then how come he could explain this to others.
How did she manage to get her hands on the shares? Was there any foul play? He
would not know until he talked to her. But somehow he could not find his voice or
the right words to demand answers looking at her straight face that was hard to read.
He thought about their last meeting and remembered her parting words, "You think
too much Raizada. But you think right. Now keep guessing what I am up to till we
meet again. Very soon". So she was up to this. This was what she meant by very
soon. Was she here to tarnish AR's name and fame? To make AR fall from its glory?
This was how she planned to take revenge from him for his doings in past? Did she
think it was that easy? Just by acquiring few shares of the company and claiming a
place in the place of board or directors.
But whatever she thought her this move would achieve, he had to give it to her she
had quite successfully had given him a jolt that he would take the time to recover.
**
He looked at the all expectant faces of others and pulled all his composure to
question the lady version of ASR 2.0 knowing it would be no less than a ground
shaking experience if their last meeting was anything to go by. He needed to be in
control otherwise things could spin out of control.
The board members knew her and what happened before she left at least about the
broken marriage and they would not think twice before blaming him if she played
with her shares putting the company's status in jeopardy, even though he would be
the last person to blame her if such situation occurs.
He called upon all his nonexistence patience knowing he could not loose temper in
this situation with her and opened his mouth to speak but someone before him beat
him into that and out what everyone was thinking at that moment.
"Where is Mr. Steve?" Mr. Shah, one of the directors asked.

"He is not coming." Came Khushi's curt reply and then she turned her full attention
towards him. Her eyes looked straight into his taking all his focus only on her. The
look meant she was only interested in talking to him.
He prepared himself for a long heated argument and at the same time heard her
speak in a firm confident voice, "Mr. Raizada, as you and the members of the board
know that Mr. Steve had acquired a fair percentage of share which makes him fit to
claim a place in the board of AR, however, he had transferred his shares in my name
a day back which now makes me eligible for the post."
There were murmurs, gasps, and hows, with her revelation only Arnav kept quiet
knowing there was more coming.
"Well, we are acquaintances for a long time." that explained the how-s and for
the why-s she elaborated next "He was in urgent need of money like Mr. Hemanth
here, " she paused for a moment to let the meaning behind her words sink in and the
smirk on her face cleared even the tiniest doubt as all the head along with Arnav's
whipped in the direction of the said person who looked fittingly perturbed the
defiance from his visage long gone. But then she did not give them time to
interrogate Mr. Hemanth and continued her speech "...and he transferred his shares
in my name in exchange of a huge amount along with a piece of land in the heart of
Bangalore city . So there you know how I became the owner of the shares of Mr.
Steve." She smiled looking at the aghast faces round the table.
**
"But I sold the shares to Miss Smith, the CEO of Feline then how come... " Mr.
Hemanth paused as the realization dawned on him and he stuttered "it is you... Ho...
How?"
"Well, it doesn't matter, is it now Mr. Hemnath?" Khushi said nonchalantly. "You
needed the money and I gave you the deal through my PA. And, if you must know its
normal in Feline as I don't feel my presence is necessary for such small dealings. My
PA is more than capable to take care of such matters. I only sign the documents as
required."
"And about being my name Ms. Smith well that's my personal business, should not
matter to you." her no-nonsense tone was enough to let others present there know
that she would not entertain queries in this regard. Anyways one of them already
knew the reason.
Her eyes turned back to the most silent person in the room. She could see he was
hardly holding himself from blowing his top. His stony eyes boring holes in hers. She
smiled.
"Now you all might have guessed that with the 5% of Mr. Steve's share I also hold
additional 2% of AR shares but that's not all I have." She lightly dropped the next
bomb, the most explosive one, in her store and this time Arnav could not hold
himself back and bark, "What do you mean? What else do you have? Ms. Smith" she
gritted out her name like a bad phrase.
In response, she only smiled some more knowing she was getting on his nerves with
her coolness in this whole matter. She had expected nothing less. it pleased her to
see her imagination matching the reality.
She took out some papers from the folder that she had placed before her on the table
while dialing from her mobile.
While she presented the papers to an agitated Arnav, at the same time he heard her
asking someone to come in, on her phone. And he deciphered that someone was
about to join them in the room, who had been waiting outside for her call.
Forgetting the papers in front him for a moment he turned to check who was it when
he heard the door open and to his astonishment, he saw Neil Smith walking in
through the door in a totally different persona from the last time he had seen him.
**
In three piece steel- grey business attire, he looked much more mature than last time
he had seen him and most importantly a he looked like a powerful entity with whom
people would think hundredth time before messing up. Very unlikely from the last
image Arnav had of him.
With a dull greeting to everyone present in the room, he made his way to Khushi and
before anyone could think he himself dragged an empty chair from the back and
placed himself behind her like a protective guardian much to someone's displeasure.
**
Arnav watched, the feeling of a slow burning starting in his heart, Neil sat down near
Khushi, as near as physically possible. He did not miss the way he pressed her hand
before he concentrated on any other face on the table. He did not miss how Neil's
eyes hardened as his eyes fell on him which made him wonder how much he knew
about him or their relation in past. Then he watched as he whispered something in
Khushi's ears making her nod. His lips almost touching the skin of her ear and
unknown to Arnav his fists clenched on the sheets of papers he was holding.
It was the clearing of a throat that brought him back to his senses. He turned sharply
to the direction of the sound to find Akash looking at him imploringly and as soon
their eyes met he, through his eyes, pointed to his hands that were crushing the
important papers mercilessly.
He nodded his gratitude to him for bringing him back to the serious matters in his
hand before he concentrated on the papers only to get the shock of his life.
It was the documents of the shares that Khushi was talking about, but as she said she
had more, he found there were some more papers which confirmed that she had
more 4% share of AR in her name which made her not just eligible for the post of the
director but a Managing Director. Which meant she held more power than he
imagined in his company including taking part in every matter of the company giving
her input in every decision that he took, messing everything in that matter if she
wished.
His head hurt and he felt suddenly light-headed with so much pressure in one day.
There were too many questions swirling in his head and he did not know with which
one to start and how to react to the situation.
**
"I assume that you have seen all the papers and know exactly what I meant."
Khushi's voice broke his reverie. His bloodshot eyes looked up to see her steely eyes
staring right back him.
This time, he cleared his throat to get passed the lump that had lodged itself since
the time she had entered the room and getting thicker by the time, and tried to speak
in a composed tone though his inside was shaking in alarm, "Ms. Smith here has
more percentages of shares than we thought, exactly 11%, making her eligible for the
post of one of the MDs even without going through the normal selection procedure as
per AR norm."
A shocked silence was the only reaction to the announcement.
**
It was Mamaji who found his voice first and asked directly to Khushi, "how did you
manage to get the rest of the shares without us having the inkling of it?" He was only
curious. He was a neutral person. Neither he held any grudge against the girl nor he
tried to defend her when she had needed it. He had only stood with his family in
whatever decision they took.
"I have acquired them over the years little by little," came her honest quiet answer.
All looked at her disbelievingly understanding that she had been planning for this
longer than they had imagined.
**
Arnav for the first time felt like a dumb. Again his eyes darted towards Neil who
pressed her shoulder gently in an assuring way The gesture only made him swallow.
Swallow his ire as he reminded himself that he had lost the right to assure her,
comfort her long back and he himself was responsible. But it hurt seeing another
man take his place and it clawed in his heart when she was indifferent to him even
when he asked about her well being in general. The voice in her heart that still argued
against his actions whispered in his ear, Are you kidding me? Don't you think you
should be the last person asking after her well being when it was you that made her
see the worse days of her life?
Ashamed yet enraged he looked away. His mind failing to give back a fitting reply to
the imp inside his heart.
**
"But as you all know I already own a fashion house and I am too busy managing that
alone so I don't wish to take up an extra responsibility of the post of a managing
director in AR."
Her words intrigued everyone and Arnav looked on perplexed. What did she mean by
that? It was her golden chance to take away the little sleep he was left with and she
was letting the opportunity go! If she did not mean to bother him with her share then
why take the pain in the first place?
As his head buzzed with all those questions Khushi continued, "And also it will be
unethical if I take up the charge even when I am in the same business. It will only
make things complicated and make people look at me suspiciously whenever Feline
would win a contract over AR." She said the part looking at Arnav's direction.
"So Neil Smith here," She looked in his direction who in turn nodded to the others
present there, "one of my most trusted persons would take up the responsibility on
my behalf."
"He though held shares in Feline, but he is not actively engaged in the company
matters as he has his own hotel business to take care of . He will take up the post and
attend the important matters that were expected from me and I would only step in
when it will be absolutely necessary. "
Then she added as an afterthought "Still if the members of the board thought it to be
necessary him and I sign a nondisclosure agreement for their assurance that AR's
secrets would not go to any other company including mine. Hope I am clear to you all
so far."
All nodded and it was sure by the look they gave her that she had achieved to gain
their respect so far by her little speech.
Well, one thing was sure to all that whatever was her reason in collecting those
shares but she did not have any intention in jeopardizing AR's name or fame by this
act of hers.
As the discussion progressed and all the paper works followed Neil and Khushi
concentrated in the goings while Arnav carried on mechanically waiting impatiently
all these to end so he could talk to her alone. Anyways he had an appointment to
catch with her.
**
"Thank you, gentlemen, for your cooperation and understanding." Khushi thanked
with a polite smile while Neil nodded conveying the same emotion and completing
her speech for her "now we would like to take your leave." He smiled at Khushi, in
the end, getting his gesture reciprocated in equal measure.
Both was about to walk out from the room when Arnav called out. He had already
had enough of their camaraderie and he would burst if the questions in his head went
unanswered any longer.
"I want to have a word with Ms. Smith alone. Excuse us Gentlemen." He did not ask
for permission or made request knowing in all probability she would deny him so he
just let he let her know his wish and gave no way out. Soon the other members
present in the room made a beeline towards the door and at last, it was only Khushi,
Arnav, and Neil who remained inside the room.
**
Khushi had only nodded once after he had spoken granting his wish and waited
looking down until the room was empty apart from them. When she was sure all
were gone she looked at a concerned Neil assuring him through her eyes that she will
be all right and tilted her head ever so slightly towards the door.
Getting her gesture Neil sighed nodding in acceptance before he too went out but not
before throwing a warning look at Arnav who looked a little-taken aback by his over
protective nature towards Khushi.
What did he think I will eat her up if he left us alone for a while? Heights of
protectiveness!
And you are to say that, really Raizada! mocked his inner voice that he ignored at
that moment, conveniently.
**
He saw Khushi standing in silence near the chair she was sitting previously, looking
passive. Her hand folded on her chest. She was calmly waiting for him to speak so he
said what was foremost in his mind since she had made the declaration of owning
11% share of AR yet not doing anything with it to create trouble for him or claiming
her rights in the company to make his professional life hell which he thought she
would do to get back at him.
"Why did you not use your power of shares? Why take so much pain in acquiring
them when you do not intend to use them against me? I thought you are here to
make my life difficult? But looks like you left the game even before you started it.
Why?" He provoked her to blurt what she intended to do with this move. At least he
hoped her to get provoked.
For a moment she kept looking at his face like she was looking through him. Then a
long sigh escaped from her lips. And just like that he saw the transformation in her.
From the passive appearance slowly her face took on a shrewd look. One side of her
mouth lifting up in a cunning smirk. Her eyes gleamed with some unreadable
emotions while she looked at him in the eyes once again.
"Who said anything about not using the powers of my share in the company? Well
not now but later may be..." She drawled.
"Later? You do understand that you have signed a nondiscloser deed along with Neil.
If anytime the company doubted that you are using company information for your
own benefit AR can sue you. You also made Neil your representative wishing not to
be involved directly in AR matters so tell me how does that going to help you to plot
against me." Arnnav was confused.
"Well who said anything about plotting against you?" Khushi asked looking
genuinely perplexed before the cunning look returned on her face.
"You forgot what I said exactly, I hardly want to get involved in the company matters
directly unless it was extremely needed and who knows when my input becomes the
utmost of importance for the company? I may feel it important to be presented in
one of the meetings where in rare occurrences the sleeping partner of AR corp, Mrs.
Anjali Jha makes her appearance. I may feel it important to just come by and say
hello to her."
She wriggled her eyebrows almost playfully while Arnav looked horrorstruck as what
she said sunk in his system. Anjali would never be able to face Khushi and be sane at
the same time. She was mentally weak and if her last outburst 2 days back after
seeing only a little glimpse of Khushi was anything to go by then she might go off the
hook if she saw Khushi face to face not to mention in AR. How could he forget all
about it?
"You won't do it." He said in a rush.
"Well, I cannot help it even if I want to." Khushi sounded almost sympathetic. The
keyword being almost.
"It is compulsory for all the partners and board members to be present for the annual
meet in AR, even the sleeping partners so I think it is inevitable that we will meet
even if we manage to avoid each other in other circumstances."
Arnav's hands gripped the back of his chair as he assimilated what she was saying
and he felt his heart sink as he understood what she said was right. It was inevitable.
"But you made Neil your representative then why would attend the meeting
personally. He could do that for you." Though he used a casual tone and said the
point for argument sake he already knew why she would do that.
Just a while back he was wondering why she was doing what she was doing but now
he had no doubt about it. She was aiming two birds in one strike. She would always
have a hold on AR with her shares and if she ever managed to come before Anjali
inside the office the impact would be too much for his Di and it would effectively
destroy what he had set out to do five years back by sending Khushi away. All will be
lost without her even trying hard. God!
**
As Arnav processed everything he did not realize when Khushi had walked up to him
until he felt her hot breath near his ear, thanks to her heels, as she spoke in a perilous
whisper that held him captive as long as she spoke.
"You know Arnav Singh Raizada, you were right. It is too good to be powerful. To
have hold in someones' life who thought him to be the almighty. The feeling of
winning to having a part of you inside the fist of my hand is something I will cherish
forever." She was looking at her right fist as she spoke meaning the words literally.
She left his side and walked a little distance to stand near the single glass wall that
overlooked the office downstairs. A long breath left him in a whoosh. Until then he
had not realized he was holding it while she stood so close to him. He could feel his
own words spoken in past carelessly, coming to haunt him back.
"AR it is your most prized possession. Your pride." She turned to look back at him
once before going back to watching the activity in the office downstairs through the
glass wall.
She continued to speak, "But now you will always feel trepidation for it knowing I
hold a large part of it and I have the power to challenge and mould all of your
decision as per my wish if I wish. And not just that." She turned on her heels sharply.
Her eyes holding threats that he already knew of. "I can always make your precious
Di's fantasy world crash in pieces just by being present inside the office while she
was around." She spoke so casually as if she was not talking about destroying his Di
but discussing the weather.
His nostrils flared. The vein in his temple throbbing. He looked suitably red with the
fury running through his veins. He rushed near her and was about to grab her hand
like old times, but Khushi swiftly went out of his reach drawing her hands up.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Her tone was same as someone admonishing a
naughty 5 years old.
"I am not your toy anymore Arnavji." She whispered.
**
She said Arnavji all Arnav could think. After so long. It felt surreal almost. The anger
suddenly drained he only gazed at her beautiful face. Didn't he only a few days
back thought, if he ever would be able to hear her taking his name again like she
always did? God, he missed her. But was he ever going to get her to love him again
like she did before?
As soon the last thought crossed his mind he was back to the present with a cold
splash. How could he even think that? After all they went through. He could not even
dream of it and she would not even consider it.
By the way, she was saying something...
"If you so much as think of raising your finger on me even before my bodyguards Neil
will come down on you and trust me it wouldn't be nice sight and not to mention I
can always put you behind the bars with charges of manhandling a colleague . A
serious offence I tell you." She said chidingly.
**
Arnav's fist clenched with the warning that she delivered so lightly but he knew she
was right although he cared less about the Neil part.
"So what was I saying, yes your Di, your precious fragile delusional Anjali Di."
"Khushi," He took his name in a warning but seemed like she was on a roll and she
gave a damn to his warnings.
"You made me sign that ultimate contract making sure that I can never step
anywhere near the vicinity of the Raizada mansion. You made sure that I don't
contact any of your family members just to safeguard your Anjali Di." She was
standing in front him now. Talking face to face. "And I did not. But was that enough
to stop me?"
"Every contract has a loophole so was there in yours Mr. Raizada." She said plainly.
"You stopped me from entering Shantivan but you forgot to put a clause about AR."
Well, he did not forget rather he did not consider the possibility. And never he
thought Khushi to be someone vengeful at least to this extent that she had exhaled
herself in his field just to become a worthy opponent to him.
Her next set of words reflected his own thoughts, "Or did you not thought of the
possibility? That the girl you squashed so thoroughly would gather enough strength
to stand up against you again to challenge you in your own playground."
Arnav flinched at the sarcasm in her voice.
"Well, for an accomplished businessman you have a very weak foresight I would say."
She mocked his ability.
"Because of your lack of foresight now I have an open access and so convenient
excuse to enter AR anytime. God, I am so loving it! The millions I have spent to
achieve this little thing now seems worth it" She exclaimed in fake glee.
"Now what will you do Mr. Raizada? When I am back and again a threat to your Di's
blissful life." She asked with all the excitement like she was enquiring about the latest
Salman movie review from another fan.
Arnav could only stare in hopeless anger at this new Khushi who was ... was so
unemotional.So not the Khushi he knew. But she was not done yet.
"Now what will you do Mr. Raizada how do you plan to push me away this time?" She
urged him to lose control.
"But I promise you I won't make it so easy like last time because of this time, I am an
opponent not a victim to your whims." Suddenly her voice had lost all the pretended
cheer and there was something in her tone that would generate fear in any mere
mortal.
Both held each other's gaze conveying what they did not say loud. Arnav's eyes
searched for a glimpse of the girl named Khushi he knew in past, whose face matched
with this shrewd business woman yet nothing in their nature but could not dive in
the depth as a shutter came down as soon as she understood what he was trying and
then there was only blankness for him to see.
It was her who broke away frirst from their staring match.
"Well, I think I have talked enough for a meeting so I would like to take your leave
now Mr. Raizada. See you again." and with that, she left without waiting for his
response just like she had come without any preamble, leaving behind a deafening
silence and a shaken man standing in the eye of a tumultuous storm.
**
Hope the update matched your expectation. Because honestly, I am not sure with this
one that how it turned out. Maybe not that good.
Sorry, I am late this time in updating. But as you can guess that I have no more
previously written chapters in store so it is taking me some time to update but I am
doing it as soon I am finishing writing a chapter. So please bear with me.
For COG readers I will post the next chapter this weekend.
And For WKT reader I may post the next chapter before weekend but I am not
promising anything.
Don't forget to like and comment..

Thank You
Oorja.
Chapter Thirteen:
Neil was standing leaning on the wall beside the door when Khushi came out. He at
once turned to look at her. Their eyes met and he saw what no one deserved to see in
that building, the eyes, those were haunted, hollow, laden with grief and pain of loss.
His body guarded her form against prying eyes while he slowly pulled out the shades
that were hanging from her trouser pocket and made her wear them. He saw her lips
moving and he had no difficulty to read them. They thanked him for his
thoughtfulness while he blinked his assurance. The whole exchange took place
without voicing anything and Neil made sure that there was no witness as well.
When he moved Khushi was again in control because she had the assurance of the
protection of the strong man walking beside her who had seen her in her worse and
vowed to stand by her. He could not stand by one person who needed the same
protection from him because he was late to reach her on time.
Not this time, was his silent promise to Khushi that he was going to keep come hell or
high water he did not care.
Both of them started walking towards the exit not paying attention that who was
watching or who was gawking.
Suddenly out of nowhere Akash stepped in front of Khushi. If she would have been
the old Khushi she would have been startled by his sudden appearance but not this
one. She managed to halt in the nick of time from colliding with him.
"Manners, Mr. Akash Singh Raizada, Manners!" She gritted out.

Akash was yet to accustomed with this new side of Khushi so he flinched as he heard
the harshness in her voice.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I just only want to ask you something Ms Gup
err.. Smith" He guessed a formal approach will be better with her than personal
seeing Khushi's reluctance even in acknowledging his presence without getting
pissed.
"Um... I wanted to ask you ... er... how is ..." He stuttered not really sure how to ask
her or if he had the right to ask what he was going to.
"I don't have all day Mr. Raizada" Her tone was stern, mocking.
"How is Payel, your sister?" the words rushed out even before he could frame the
question as indirectly as he could. But alas! It was out and now he waited with baited
breath for her to give some reply.
He could feel khushi's eyes harden under the dark glasses. The heat coming from
them was felt upto the skin of his toe yet her voice was controlled not betraying her
rage.
"I am surprised that you care enough to ask but I think you lost the right to ask after
her long back."
Akash had to look away. He was ashamed but he believed it was not entirely his fault.
She didn't try to bridge the gap either. She had almost willingly let him stray and
never stopped.
Seeing the defiance in Akash's stance Khushi chuckled without mirth and said icily
after that, "But if you must know then she is fairing much better and I am there for
her. You need not worry she has me to lean on."
Akash nodded unable to meet Khushi's eyes. Neither he met Payel after she left nor
he could talk to her and he was worried. For he was responsible for her well being
since they were married and it will take time to think of her as not part of his life.
Because even when they were aloof to each other they at least had seen to it the other
was comfortable, if not emotionally but in worldly aspect. So when she had left
without claiming a penny from her he was little worried if she had enough to take
care of her necessities but now after seeing Khushi he had no such doubt. Maybe
embarrassed but he felt no more worried for her.
Khushi crossed him and walked ahead and he let her pass not asking anything else.
**
Arnav came out to see Khushi walking out of the building while Neil held the door
open for her. Something he never did for her. Being a true gentleman to his lady. And
did he mention it hurt, it hurt to see some stranger doing it for her while he stood in
the audience?
But now was not the time to forget himself in his grief and pain. He had more
pressing issues in hand. He was safe in the knowledge that Khushi did not look
interested in harming AR anyway, well for now, but she was sure as hell going to
strike upon the most vulnerable person in his life, his Di.
He still couldn't blame her, because all she lost and he made her sacrifice, in her life
were most for his Di. And the funny thing was Di never knew anything about any of it
yet she would be the target of her wrath. Cause, simple, it will break him.
It will break him because, even though, he sometime wished to shake his Di hard to
wake her up in the reality and ask her to snap out of her dream world, he had
promised his mother once, when she was hurting badly, gasping for breath yet could
not close her eyes to sleep into a painless death for the worry of her children,
especially for her cripple and now left in alter bride teen daughter, that he would look
out for his Di always and will not leave her side even when the world left their side.
He would break if he could not keep his lovely mother's last wish even when it hurt
too much to keep the promise.
He saw Akash and Mamaji observing him with concerned looks when he had zoned
away and composed himself. He called them to follow in his cabin and started
walking without waiting for their response.
**
"Keys."
Neil saw her extend her hand and he was not sure if it was a good idea to let her
drive. He opened his mouth to deny but she was fast in guessing his response hence
her comeback came before he had a chance.
"I will be safe. I just want to be alone for a while."
Sighing he dropped the keys in her open palm and watch her nod her thanks before
she got in the driver seat of her jaguar and drove off.
He signalled his driver to bring the other car in which their bodyguard followed them
while he called their security head and asked him to locate Khushi through the car's
GPA and send a guy to discreetly follow her. Even if she said that she will be safe but
he wasn't assured.
Arnav watched the whole exchange from his vantage point, the window in his office
that opened to the entrance of the office building, and then closed the blind looking
thoughtful.
**
"Khushi you have to go away?" He said. His face curved out of stone.
"Go away? Where?" She was confused. Where did he want to send her? Where could
she go? Didn't she already leave from his life?
"I don't know. Maybe Lucknow or, any city you want to but you can't stay here."
He never looked such a monster before to her. What did he mean? She can't go back
to Lucknow. She did not have anybody in any other city to go to. If she had why
would she be still here after shamed in so many ways by this same man? She could
not go back to her hometown even when her parents were alive just because of this
man. He disgraced her image so brutally there that she had to come running here in
Delhi.
Here too she was not saved. First the runaway marriage and now when the
glorified tale of her broken remarriage in the alter took rounds in the small locality
she lived in, it is hard enough to get a simple grocery without falling prey in the
hands of gossipmongers and he was asking her to go away and make her life
harder in some unknown place. How could he?
This is home, she felt safe inside this four wall where her parents and Buaji lived.
She felt their warmth while she was here. She could not leave this house. This was
all she had. Even jiji had gone back to her home. But she still was near a call away.
How could she leave this little safety which was all she had? And why would she?
Did not she do what he asked of her till now then why? And to say she loved this
man and still does!
She heard him saying something bringing her back from her thoughts.
"I will give you as much money as you want, and also I will help you to settle in any
city where you want to start afresh but I can't allow you to stay here."
"Allow me?" She could not believe his words.
"Yes. You heard right." He affirmed seeing the disbelief on her face and then
explained what pushed him to push her to this extreme.
"You are being alone will sure to fuel Shyam's desire to have you as it has become
easy for him to approach you anytime of the day. We have already seen a demo this
morning, haven't we?" He scoffed.
"Now Di is uncontrollable almost on the verge of insanity in the fear of losing her
husband who, you and I both know, will stray in the first given chance. But she
doesn't know that and I can't break it to her now when she was so vulnerable." He
looked helpless in the end. But that was for a moment.
"Anyways you have nothing to hold you back here so I don't see any problem for
you to relocate." He said easily as if he did not ask her to uproot her existence from
a place and go through the same struggle, now alone, in another unknown place.
"Nothing to hold me back!" incredulous at his thoughtlessness she spoke aloud, "this
home, my parent's memories in here, my jiji all are here. Then how can you say I
have nothing to hold me back here. Sure I don't have your love anymore but I have
enough to live."
Arnav flinched maybe hurt by her last sentence but he held his stand in the
argument. "But my Di would have nothing to live if her husband leaves. And I am a
desperate brother you see."
"Wish I had one too." Khushi smiled ruefully.
"I am not here for chit chat Khushi. I want a deal from you by hook or crook."
Arnav retorted.
"The hook isn't working so tell me what sly plan you have up on your sleeves?"
Khushi crossed her arms. She had a mocking smile on her lips.
"You know me too well." Arnav reciprocated her smile and mirrored her posture.
"Because I am the only victim of your utmost cruelty so far." She was determined to
hurt him as much as she could. As much as she was hurting. And satisfied she noted
how his eyes hardened and his jaw clenched at her comeback. But she forgot Arnav
Singh Raizada was called heartless for nothing.
"Well, if you put it that way. It would be incorrect in my part if I don't live up to
your accusations." He said casually but the menace in his eyes was unmistakable.
"So I will have you vacate this house by next morning, the house you are so fond of,
and maybe I will get it demolished to use the land for something better. Hope you
did not forget that it's in my name, after all."
"You wouldn't." Words rushed out of her mouth. Horrified at what he spoke.
"As I said Khushi I am a desperate brother and as par you, a monster of a person so
yes I would if you push me to. Also, I have a promise to keep that I gave to my dying
mother." His voice cracked in the end but he held himself strong but the menace
was not there in his eyes anymore yet she could not decipher what it held in that
moment.
Finally the strong front she had put up so far before him crumble and she cried out,
"Arnavji don't do this to me where will I go and most importantly how will I live?"
"I will help you." He kept his hand in his pockets firmly and assured her without
really showing any concern.
"I don't want your help." She welled. "I want to stay here in this home where I have
last memories of my family and where I am still wrapped in their warmth." It was
her desperate attempt to make this man understand that she would lose too much if
she left this home.
He turned away from her frenzied state and stated coldly "If you are adamant then
I have no other way."
"Please Arnavji. Don't do this to me. Don't break me more like this." She pleaded
with her hands folded behind him.
"All this wouldn't have happened if not for your mother." He threw in her way still
not looking at her.
"My mother wasn't at fault. She had only loved and trusted the wrong person. He
was not truthful but her love was true. How come you consider her pure love as
sin?" She half shouted half cried.
"Because it took my mother's life" He had her shoulders in his biting clutches as he
shouted on her face. He had whirled so fast to her direction that she had tripped in
an attempt to back away but had she ever succeeded that she would now.
"I am not giving you choice." He gritted out venomously on her face.
A moment of silence passed as their eyes stayed glued. It was Khushi who broke the
silence.
"Okay I will go."

Arnav left her shoulders and she winced but he ignored her pain. He had something
more to say.
"Not like that."
"Huh." he had her lost here.
"You have to sign a contract." He dropped the final bomb which might not have
caused an explosion but the impact was same nonetheless.
"Another contract." The mocking smile came back on her lips. How could she expect
anything less from ASR. A thorough businessman.
"Yes." He pretended as if he did not hear her the mockery in her voice.
"What it is this time?" She was curious to know what fate the mighty had decided
for her.
His eyes looked startled, maybe her calmness unnerved him but it shouldn't have.
She did not stand a chance then when that day he bounded her forcefully in a six
months contract marriage, and now too when he was extracting her from her
home, city and life altogether. That day it was her jiji' life at stake and today her
parent's memory. But he told her the clauses anyway.
"The contract states, by signing this contract you can ask any amount of money
from me and any kind of help to get relocated but the papers once signed you will
not contact any of my family members and me and also won't come anywhere near
them, who is directly or indirectly connected to the Raizada family."
She saw him looking up at her face but then continued, "And off course you cannot
stay in Lakshminagar or any place known to my family whatsoever."
"I cannot take risk of having you contact Payel and get Shaym to know your
location." He added afterwards a little explanation for her exile, she guessed.
"She is the only one I have to call as a family," Khushi whispered as she thought of
staying away from her sister and never be able to contact her.
"And I have only Di." Came his quick reaction.
"Why is it always important that she has everything while I am left with nothing?
Just because she has you, Arnav Singh Raizadada, the almighty by her side." She
asked rhetorically. She could not help it. She was losing everything. She deserved a
little venting. Did not she?
Never the one to back away from defending his Di he retorted. "You don't know
what she had to go thorough because of your mother." The only answer he could
give, she thought with a shake of her head.
"And see what I am going through because of her." Though her words said plainly
without any malice in them still it made him boil. Maybe because it was truth.
"Enough. I already said I am not here to hear you talk your heart out." He was
harsh. Too harsh.
"You were never." She was soft. Too soft.
"I am giving you a fair deal, a chance to make a new life for yourself."
"You are blackmailing me and glorifying the whole act by calling it a deal." She
stated simply. "But as you said I have no choice I will sign the contract."
He dragged the papers out from the inner pocket of his jacket and produced in front
of "Here."
"How much you want Khushi?" He asked as he provided the pen for her to sign.
"Contrary to your belief on me as a gold digger I was never really interested in

your money and as much as it sounds unbelieving to you I still don't." She signed
the papers, sealing her fate to doom.
There was a feeling of detachment in her that she herself did not understand. She
felt oddly calm. The pain, the grief, the helplessness she was supposed to
feel, strangely was not there. She felt like an audience to her life that played before
her eyes like a movie. It was not her who loved and lost. But a girl she knew. It was
not her who was left in the alter but a woman she thought resembled her. It was not
her who cried on her mother's dead body, it was not her who was left alone, it was
not her who was getting banished for life, away from all she was familiar to but
someone from her past who was called Khushi, who lived up to her name.
She heard Arnavji was saying from somewhere far. His voice sounding like a
mechanical drone.
"This is a cruel world Khushi without money you cannot survive." He reasoned.
"Who better knows that better than me?" She managed to say. How she did not
know. She felt her head aching. Her ears ringing with a long drawn buzzing sound.
There was a dull pain in her lower abdomen since morning. It heightened with each
passing minute. She felt lethargic unlike to Khushi's always energetic self.
Arnav pretended that he hadn't heard her.
"I am leaving this bag behind it has some cash. If you want more let me know." And
he walked away even before she could think of denying closing the door behind.
Neither he noticed her aloof eyes nor her frowning pained expression.
He did not ask her to leave again, though. Maybe because what he knew of her told
him that she will abide by the contract without him reminding her again.
Khushi felt too drained and reluctant to call him back. Mechanically she walked to
latch the door behind him not really paying attention to anything around. She did
not see the briefcase he was talking about left on the centre table in the hall. She did
not see the red patch on the floor where she had been sitting before Arnav came. She
did not see the back of her white salwar even when she went to change later.
She hadn't even locked the door when she had walked out of her home that night.
The night drew out from her most dreaded nightmares.
**
She pressed the break too hard and the car came to a sudden screeching halt. She
was trembling like a leaf in the wild wind.
She had lost too much to leave Arnav Singh Raizada to live in peace and she will be
damned if she let him be satisfied in the knowledge that his Di was safe from every
harm. She was not really vengeful towards Anjali but it was only her that could break
and shake the ASR. And she had long stopped thinking about right and wrong
concerning her actions. All left in her was the wish to avenge what she had lost for
nothing. If Arnav Singh Raizada was regretful, as he looked, for what he had done
then she will make sure that he repented well once he knew all his crimes and
realized their gravity. She was just getting started. She had a full show to make him
watch. ArnavSingh Raizada was yet to know what hell is if he thought he had lived in
one till now.
Taking a deep breath to calm herself she started the car again only to notice the other
familiar car following her in her rearview mirror. She smiled knowingly before she
accelerated.
Neil! The man cannot stop worrying about her, can he?
She drove off the place as if she did not know the existence of the other car and
headed home.
**
Hope you like this chapter. Press like and comment if you do.
The past is only from Khushi's side. I will write it from Arnav's POV as well and you
will know what he was thinking when he did that. Lame may be but he had his
reasons too. No I am not going to defend him. I just want to show you both sides of
the coin.
And those who fears that Khushi will forget and forgive I will ask them to wait and
watch and hope you will not be dissapointed.
Thank You
Oorja.
PS. Next update will be WKT and then COG.

Chapter Fourteen
Arnav entered Shantivan flanked by Mamaji and Akash. All of them sporting same grim
expression.
They had decided after a long discussion that it was better to deliver the news to the
family themselves rather than them knowing from some outsider. Anyways Anjali had to
face the reality now or later then why not now. Whatever her reaction maybe they will
try their best to help her cope with the situation like a family.
As usual, Priya greeted her Mau on the door with same vivaciousness and was
thoroughly rewarded with a warm smile and loving cuddle. But today her Mau did not
carry her to his room and called one of the Prakash brothers to take her to the nursery
and stay with her until they asked him to come out.
Though Priya protested but the old help of the house sensed the tension among the men
of the house and cajoled the little one to come with him.
Arnav, Mama and Akash walked in the lounge where ladies of the house were
seated along with the slimeball smiling sickeningly to everything Anjali and Mami talked
about while Dadi had an indulgent smile on her face. It was only Nani who seemed to be
least interested in what they talked and was reading a holy book with utmost
concentration while her teacup lay finished on the tea table in front of her.
**
They looked up sensing their presence. Nani frowned while Anjali smiled happily. Dadi
has a shocked look on her face seeing Arnav among them. Mami smiled at Mamaji but
seeing the look on his face her smile died a little and instantly her eyes darted to the
face of Akash and it was washed off of her face completely. She instinctively sensed
something wrong. Very very wrong.
Never one to known for patience and sugarcoating his words Arnav directly approached
the matter in the hand.
Walking before Anjali he sat on his hunches sending a meaningful glare to Shyam's
direction who readily left her hand for Arnav to take in his.
Clearing his throat he looked directly in Anjali's eyes who looked happy to get her
brother's undivided attention after a long time.
"Di I have something to tell you." and he told her everything, save his personal small
meet with Khushi, what happened in the office and what position Khushi exactly held in
AR and how it would be unavoidable that they meet in obvious circumstances.
Anjali looked at all the faces disbelievingly but soon what her brother told her made its
impact felt and she let out a shrilling cry of disbelief "NOOO" and fell unconscious in the
next second.
And from then on it was hell all over again.
**
Arnav kept gazing at the small figure sleeping on his bed. Her soothing presence calming
his agitated nerves.
After Anjali's outburst, she had been unconscious for close to an hour. The doctor, who
was called to attend her, told them that Anjali had a nervous breakdown yet again.
Though, he suggested all the Raizadas not to treat her with kid gloves as it was always
better to face the truth with all its bitterness and be strong than being protected like a
fragile doll, as usual, they heard his advice from one ear and let it fly away from the
other and hovered over a distressed Anjali like a bunch of mother hen.
Only difference this time was Nani left the party even before it begun with the Doctor
when he assured that Anjali was not in any immediate danger and then, much to the
astonishment of everyone and very much distress of Anjali, the one supposed to be
leading the troop left the room as well, the ever possessive Chote of his Di.
Arnav left the room in the pretext of looking after Priya for the night, which made sense
to others. At night if Priya stayed with anyone other than Anjali it was Arnav and looking
at Anjali it was easy to guess that she was nowhere near to care for the toddler.
As Priya slept in Arnav's bed after fed by her favourite person, Mau, Arnav kept looking
at her pretty face that was only thing pure in his dark life.
A knock on the door brought him back from his thoughts. He looked at the direction to
find Nani standing on his doorstep waiting for his permission to enter.
Arnav got up.
"Nani you don't need permission to enter my room." He himself walked to her and
brought her in holding her by her arm.
Devyani smiled faintly in response when her eyes fell on Piya sleeping sprawled in the
middle of the king size bed. She reminded her of another person who was equally pure
and fragile like her. She too had innocence like a child and sunny nature to match.
Sighing she bent down to pat on the tummy of the little thing and this time, she smiled
genuinely when the child smiled in her sleep. She adjusted the blanket and the pillows
around her and then straightened to face Arnav.
"I want Khushi bitiya's phone number." She asked calmly.
"What?"
Nani was never in favour of what he did to Khushi and she was very much clear in what
she thought about Shyam's stay in Shantivan. She was a pillar of support for Payel in
her rebellious years in Shantivan. So it should not have surprised Arnav when she
wished to talk to Khushi yet it did. And more than surprise it was the dread he felt that
made his voice louder than he intended.
What if she found out about the contract? It was still very much valid. And still bound
Khushi to contact any of Raizada family. So if Nani tried to get in contact with her then
the way Khushi was now he had no doubt she would tell Nani about the contract with
relish and he was sure he would not hear the end of it once Nani knew.
But his calculative shatir dimag also warned him that if he refused Nani had other ways
to find out her number. Through Payel. There too he could only see his doom. Now he
knew why Payel was so eager to cut off the Raizada from her name. Because she knew
until she did so she could not be with her sister.
The only thing he did not know how she knew the terms of the contract because he was
sure Khushi did not contact her in last five years and even though he told her that it was
him who forced Khushi to leave that day he did not tell her about the contract. He again
shuddered thinking about the day Payel stormed in his office looking wild asking about
her missing sister. Never in his life, he thought Payel was capable of carrying such fury
in that puny body.
"I guess you are not interested in sharing the number with me. I expected nothing
more. No worries I will find out from Payel. She will not deny me." Nani spoke
unemotionally and was about leave when Arnav's voice stopped her.
"Don't you have any grudge against her Nani? Because of her mother my father strayed.
Your daughter killed herself because of Garima." Arnav intended to sound revolted not
curious but he did.
Devyani turned to face him but she looked at some point over his shoulder. A faraway
look graced her eyes.
"It is so easy to blame someone for our misfortune and wash our hands off of our
responsibility in the mess."
She now met his eyes, "I am glad at last you decided to ask me that what exactly I think
about the past and your action five years back. I have been waiting for this day when
you will be ready to hear someone else tell you their opinion who had just been a
spectator of the whole drama not a part of it."
Arnav doubted if he wanted to hear any more. The bitterness and contempt in Nani's
tone made him cringe already and he was not sure he would be able to bear the
onslaught of the emotions that will follow when she said her piece. But as she said now
was the time he hardened his heart to hear her out.
Devyani walked to the glass partition and looked out in the night. Her hand rose to trace
the glass where she could see her grandchild's reflection. The hard contour of his face
hardening more. She sighed. She did not want to hurt him more than he already was but
she did not have another choice. The time of truth had come and passed. He was not
ready to hear her then, so they avoided each other as much as they could. Today it was
him who had asked and it was time to show him the other side of the coin. He would
never be prepared for what he was going to hear but she was prepared to tell the tale
since long.
Gulping down all her emotions she started in a detached tone, "Your mother was always
a very sensitive person. She would be happy with simple things and heartbroken in the
slightest of matter. Sometimes I feared that when she got married how she was going to
cope with her in law's house where life gets testing every day for the daughter in laws.
So I was little relieved when she was married to my friend Subhadra's elder son. I
thought Sumi would take care of her like her own daughter. Well, she did, until, the real
face of her son came out in the open."
Arnav stared at the back of his Nani thinking where this story was going but he kept his
mouth shut tightly determined to hear the end of it.
"Sumi changed and so your mother. She was depressed."
Arnav's eyes grew wide at Devyani's matter of fact manner.
"Back in those days, depression was not considered as a severe disease. Well, it was not
considered as anything of concern. A woman heartbroken was as normal as the men of
the house visiting other women outside the house in Malik's Sheeshmahal."
Devyani reigned in her tears as she recalled the memories, "Anjali's marriage was fixed
too early. I had protested against Sumi's discission. But she was eager to send her out
of Sheeshmahal before the philander way of your father went in public. Your mother was
never known to be a strong person and your dad's way had made her detached to
everything so she did not care about the progress much than a normal life occurrence."
Seeing Arnav was about to protest Devyani showed her palm to make him stop and she
continued, "You were too small to understand the changes but Anjali had already sensed
the change in your mother and maybe that's why she was scared and ready to get
married when the proposal came. She was scared that once all knew what was wrong
with her parent's no one going to marry her."
"That's not true," Arnav's face was a picture of disbelief.
"It is. She is just like your mother. Sensitive and a dreamer. She dreamt of her
wedding, a loving husband unlike your father and a happily ever after. So she grabbed
the first chance to get away from the place where all her moves were restricted. Though
she did not understand the whole reason behind her eagerness for marriage but I
understood anyway when I talked to her the day before her marriage."
"But her dreams broke in the hands of her own mother."
"Nani." Arnav gasped at the detest in his Nani's voice for his mother, her own daughter.
"Truth hurts Chote but it's undeniable. She was weak. She was depressed and she saw
Garima that day and last thread of her sanity broke and my daughter killed herself. Not
once she thought about her kids. Rather she burdened you with Anjali's responsibility.
She did not for a moment stopped to think that you were just 14. She chose to be a
weak heartbroken wife than a strong mother of two beautiful kids who needed her."
"But you cannot deny that if Garima was not present on that day in Sheeshmahal then
my mother would not have died that day, my di would not have been left in alter." Arnav
argued fiercely.
"And here is the truth which was really going to hurt you Chote," Devyani's voice had an
ominous note and for a moment Arnav wanted her to not continue.
"Garima was not there that day to threaten your mother's marriage or to ruin your
sister's wedding, she was there by chance. She was one of the guests as her father
worked in your father's office. It was a day of revelation for her as well. She came to
know that the man she was in love with was a cheater. Married with two children. She
confronted your father but your Dadi jumped in to defend her son and your mother only
heard the half truth and decided to end her life. Garima left that day heart broken and
insulted not knowing what mayhem broke out after her leave. She only came to know
next day and unable to hold herself came to see herself hoping that all of it was just a
rumour."
"She felt guiltier shattered when she found out that all she heard was truth and she
broke down when she was sure she was alone in the back garden of Sheesh mahal
where I found her.
"WHAT?" Arnav felt the floor slipping from underneath his feet.
"Yes, I knew who Garima was and what happened in the past even before you found out.
I did not recognise her on the first day but with time I realised that she was the same
woman I met on that unfortunate day in Sheeshmahal whose fate was strangely woven
with ours. She though did not recognise and did not have a hint of who we are until she
met your Dadi I guess. But when I saw Sumi did not show any sign of enmity I too let
the matter pass thinking it's better to rest the ghost of past in past."
"But I was mistaken and the skeleton of past came out in the worst possible way. Sumi
had planned it too well and for a person who claimed to have a great mind, you fell prey
in her trap quite easily. Did it never occur to you that why she had waited until the day
of the wedding to disclose the truth?" She threw in his way looking pitifully.
"Why did not you tell me all this before?" Arnav said in a voice laced with all the
emotions known to humankind but foremost being regret and remorse.
"You were not ready to listen. I tried but you did not let anyone near you. And then with
Anjali's breakdown afterwards, you became so engrossed in everything related to her
that you ignored all other around. Still, I would have but then with Khushi's
disappearance, I found no reason to let you know."
Devyani let out a long sigh after letting everything off her chest. But she wanted to
have one last word.
"And see the play of destiny, history repeated all over again in its own twisted way, The
same malik's son ruined Garima's daughter's life because like your mother Anjali was too
weak to handle the truth of her scumbag of a husband.Such irony of fate!" the note of
mockery was not lost to Arnav.
With that, Devyani Raizada left not sparing a single glance to the shattered man she left
behind.
**
Arnav mechanically reached the door and locked it behind Nani. His eyes veered towards
his sleeping niece. Seeing her sleeping peacefully he slowly manoeuvred his way towards
the poolside. Once out he pulled the glass partition and closed it properly.
It was then he let his anguish flow. His cries, born out of deep regret, remorse, grief,
pain and a broken heart, were gut-wrenching. He did not blame anyone that night for his
deeds, not even himself. For he knew in the end of the day he was Arnav Malik, the
offspring of a heartless man Avinash Malik and a weak woman Ratna Raizada Malik, and
he was bound to ruin a life. What he did not count on was that he would ruin his own life in
the process.
He knew for a fact even though he would have known the whole truth still he wouldn't
have acted anything wiser. Because ultimately his mind would have taken over his
heart. He would have still sent Khushi away when she had looked like a threat to Anjali's
blissful life. As the weakness and fear of his mother that he had inherited would have
made him desperate to safe keep what he thought precious for him even if it meant
letting go of another precious thing in the bargain.
Yet, he could not help the tears that left him that night because in the end of the day
even after everything, in the battle of Malik and Raizada gene, the heart that had loved
and lost everything in a cruel play of circumstances, life and fate was bound to mourn for
the loss. So it chose tonight when past was present and future only looked a dark abyss and
life as bleak as ever it was, and will be.
Her last wish
http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4238737
Chapter 1
The house which was once filled with the sound of heartwarming laughter was all
silent today, it was as if the house had lost its charm. The house which once had a
happy family today had only sad faces, all in their own rooms, crying. The last rights
were done and everybody was back home but they couldn't really accept the fact that
she had left them all, the girl who knew only to spread happiness had left them all to
cry.
A man in his late twenties walked lifelessly into his room, his mind and body numb.
All the moments he had spent with his wife, good or bad, came running in his mind
making him feel more helpless. He had never been a good husband, he knew and he
also knew he had never given HER the love she deserved, yet she was his wife and
now that she was gone he was alone. It was just some hours ago that he had seen her
pale face smiling promisingly at him but now that he knew she was gone to never be
back, he felt as if the loneliness was already engulfing him.
"I have to be strong, I have to be strong for our baby." he thought to himself but
being strong and taking in the reality dauntlessly was the last thing he could do.
He broke into tears, cries of agony escaping his throat as he remembered about their
little one, his little princess. How was he to take care of her? A child at that tender
stage needs her mother the most, how was he to return the little one its mother?
How, he thought as more helpless tears rolled down his cheeks.
****
"Arnav bhaiyya, Nani ji is calling you." he heard Hari Prakash say.
He had just come out of the washroom, washing his face, making himself somewhat
presentable to meet his daughter. He had not even got a chance to see her properly,
let alone hold her in his arms.
"I will be there in a minute." Arnav let out a hoarse whisper.
Standing before the mirror he was wiping his face when his eyes fell upon her photo,
next to their bed. She was smiling one of her sunny smiles there and that again took
him to the memories of past few days, of how her pale face had become and the dark
circles below her eyes. A lone tear rolled down his eye which he immediately wipes
away and he shook his head trying to somewhat clear his mind as he left for his
Nani's room.
****
The little baby was drinking milk from the bottle lying comfortably on her Maasi's
lap. Unknown to the turmoil around she was happily snuggling in her Maasi's
warmth. Feeding milk to the baby, she was rocking her to put her to sleep when the
door was knocked.
"Didi, Nani ji has called you in her room." HP said.
"Baby is just about to fall asleep, once she sleeps comfortably I will be there." she said
in her usual soft tone.
He once looked at the baby who was nestled peacefully in her arms, feeling bad for
her, while he left the room his head nodding in assent.
Patting her softly she placed the baby on the bed, keeping pillows carefully on either
sides to safeguard the baby from falling as she kissed her softly before straightening
herself.
Arnav who was just passing by the room saw all these and was very touched. He
knew how much she loved children but seeing her give that love and care to His
child, warmed his heart.
Fixing her dress she was walking to the door when she saw Arnav standing there
admiring his little princess.
"I was going to Nani's room, she has called me there." she said as she saw him raising
an eyebrow at her as if asking where she was going.
"I am also going to her room.." he said oddly and moved a step back to allow her to
walk forward while he admired his sleeping daughter for some more seconds before
following her to Nani's room.
****
"Ji Nani ji, you called me?" she asked.

"Haan beta me and Anjali wanted to talk to you about something. Let Arnav come
then we shall say it." Nani said.
"I am here Nani so you can say it." Arnav's voice came from the door as he walked in.
"Hu-hum wo.." Nahi struggled with words not knowing how she was to say it.
Anjali came forward and squeezed Nani's shoulder slowly asking her to be strong
before he handed Arnav a white piece of paper.
"Sh-Smiles had left this for you both." Anjali said, her voice nothing but a whisper,
tears rolling down her eyes.
"What's this?" they asked in union.
"Read the letter bitiya, you will get the answers." Nani said heavily before she left the
room with Anjali, closing the door behind giving the duo sometime alone to read the
letter and let it seep into them.
Taking the letter from Arnav's hand she shakily opened it and saw her sister's
handwriting in it which made her sob louder but she wiped the tears away and read
the content of the letter shakily.
Di,
Okay I know you don't like me calling you that but you're my elder sister and you
cant complain today for me calling you Di today.
Remember how we used to fight when I called you Di and you didn't like it because
you felt a lot older than me? *chuckles* How good and easy things were when we
were young, then why did it have to change? *sigh*
I know you both will be broken and very confused while reading this as I will not be
with you guys then but I hope you will understand my point.
After reading this note do talk to either Anjali di or Nani ji and all your confusions
would be clear but first you both will have to promise me that you wont get upset
with them, just understand they did it all for me, because of my promise.
I have so much things to say and do but I don't have much time di and neither do I
have the courage. I have caused enough problems for you both already ab jaate jaate
I just want to give you happiness and nothing else.
I don't know how valid you will find my point but please understand I was and am
happy, I have nothing against you guys and you should not be guilty for anything
either. Sach kahoon toh I feel so special to be related to you both. Getting a sister as
my sister and a guy like you for husband is what every girl needs in their life but yeah
they should not be as selfish as me who forgot to see the pain in other's eyes while
they were faking happiness around me.
Happiness, you hid that big truth from me? I could never believe you would do that
but then after thinking a lot I understood you and your pain and talking to papa
made me realize how lost I was in my happiness that I didn't realize the tears in my
sister's eyes were not of joy but of heartbreak. I am sorry happiness I really am, I
promised I will never let you cry little did I know I would be the reason of your
greatest pain. Please forgive me happiness, please!!
And Arnav, today I got to know the reasons for all your strange behavior and trust
me I am not angry, in fact I feel lucky for having been your wife even for a year and
half. A guy like you is all that a girl need to be happy and trust me the time spent with
you was the most beautiful time of my life but obviously the time I spent with my
sister was more precious.
I will probably give birth to a little prince or princess soon, but it will be devoid of a
mother's love as I will not be there.. So I want you to be the mother of my child di, I
want you to give it the love and care it deserves. You both have already given me a lot
but I am little too selfish if you know, so even when I am going I need a promise from
you both. A promise that you both will be happy and will keep the family happy, I am
not going anywhere far I will be right there with you all so there's nothing to be sad at
all.
You will both have to promise me that you will fulfill my last wish and my last wish is
that you will both get married and leave happily as a couple with the little one.
I love you both and I am sure you will do this for me. Trust me I will be there by your
side happily waiting for my wish to get fulfilled.
Love you very much Happiness and Arnav..I don't have to say this but please keep
my Di, my happiness happy.
Keep smiling! :)
Muskaan (Smiles )
****
Khushi collapsed on the floor and cried loudly having read the letter. Arnav who was
all numb jerked hearing Khushi wail and dropped to his knees squeezing Khushi's
shoulder lightly. Looking up she saw his tear soaked face and slumped back hiding
her face into his chest.
"She left us Arnav, she left us with this note and her silly little wish." Khushi said
mumble, her body shuddering heavily as she cried her heart out clenching the letter
in her palm.
Arnav who was himself blank clutched Khushi tightly, afraid that even she would
leave him, as he cried into her hairs. They didn't know what more they would get to
know after talking to Anjali and Nani, neither did they know what their future held
for them but at that time all they needed was the other's support to lessen their grief
and that was what they were getting.
Somewhere far away from everyone she smiled, she could see what they or anyone
else couldn't at that moment. She saw a couple who had always loved each other and
who would soon be together forever. She smiled and prayed the almighty to palliate
their pain before she continued to walk on the path she was walking which led her to
the place beyond all these worldly ties.
________________________________
Okay so as some of you guessed, the elder sister is Khushi where as Arnav's wife, the
one who died was Khushi's little sister, Muskaan.
The chapter was kind of jumbled up but after the letter, you might have guessed a bit
of what kind of relationship Arnav and Khushi share or I rather said shared.
The story will now proceed with the flashback and then will come to the point where
Arnav and Khushi will decide if they will fulfill her last wish or not.
Chapter 2
"Muskaan bitiya wanted to see you both together and happy Chote and I think you
both should give a thought to it." they heard Nani say again.
Giving strength to each other when Arnav and Khushi felt a little light they walked
down in search of Nani to get the answers of the questions which were still
unanswered. Nani and Anjali both were in the guest room with the baby and seeing
them there they knew it was time to let out the things which they had kept within
them since long. Nani had tried explaining but seeing her condition Anjali thought it
would not be a good thing to stress the old lady and had volunteered in letting the
confused duo know what conversation they had had with Muskaan a few months
back.
* Six months earlier*
Muskaan was in the third month of her pregnancy and with all the morning sickness
and a little feverishness she was not feeling very well. She had also been quite gloomy
and everyone had thought that she was missing Arnav as he was out of town for some
business conference. She would be all dull and lost in some thought and whenever
someone asked about it she would just shrug the matter off, as if trying to ignore it.
One evening Anjali and Nani were sitting in the garden, sipping into their evening tea
when they saw Muskaan come there, her eyes flowing tears uncontrollably while she
looked all pale like every drop of blood has been sucked out of her. Both Nani and
Anjali had been very astound because that was probably the first time they had seen
her that way, she was someone who would always be laughing and smiling but seeing
her so upset made them worried. Rushing towards her Anjali held her by her arms
just as she was about to collapse on the ground and holding her she made Muskaan
sit on the bench next to Nani. Calling out for HP Anjali asked him to bring a glass of
water and made her drink it.
"What happened bitiya, why are you crying?" Nani asked wiping away the tears from
her cheeks..
They expected her to speak up but that didn't happen, she just sat there sitting
blankly drinking herself to oblivion, confusing them even more.
"At least say something Muskaan, what's wrong?" Anjali finally asked after a long
silence, shaking her by her shoulder.
"I have been very selfish di, I have been so inconsiderate, so thoughtless that I have
hurt those people whom I love the most." she said as more fresh tears rolled down
her cheeks.
They didn't understand what Muskaan was saying or why she was saying so low of
herself but they knew something was terribly wrong. Anjali hugged her running her
hands softly on her back while she cried her heart out. After sometimes when her
cries got softer and her breathing turned normal Anjali pulled out of the hug and
wiping the dried tears asked her what was wrong.
"I was so lost in my happiness that I didn't notice the sad faces around me, Nani. I
thought they were as happy as me but I didn't know they were sad and were faking
their happiness just to keep me happy." she said.
"What are you talking about bitiya?"
"I am talking about Happiness and Arnav, Nani ji." she said and immediately noticed
how Anjali and Nani paled at their mention.
"You both also knew about it, didn't you? You also knew about it all but still hid it
from me." she said accusingly while all they could do was hang their head low feeling
guilty for keeping her in dark
"Why Di, why did everyone hide this thing from me when I should have been the first
one to know it?" Muskaan asked, more helpless tears rolling down.
"We are sorry to keep it hidden from you bitiya but Chote asked us to do so and we
couldn't go against him. We all feared for this day but Chote and Khushi bitiya said
they would make sure this day never comes but it did." Nani said remorsefully.
"That's what I don't understand, why did they want to keep it hidden when it is
somewhat related to me, moreover I don't understand how could my own sister do
this to me. I know and I understand she did this for my happiness but now that I've
known the truth how can I be happy? Now when I know my sister has sacrificed her
love, her happiness for me how can I still remain happy?" Muskaan cried bitterly.
Nani and Anjali felt awful looking at the broken Muskaan, they never wanted to see
her that way but they knew somewhere they were also responsible for her situation
today and they felt all the more guilty.
"That time all Khushi bitiya thought was about your happiness bitiya, she didn't
think of how things would be when you would know the truth." Nani said softly.
"Maybe she loved you a little too much that she didn't think twice before naming all
her happiness in your name." she added.
A ghost of a smile appeared on her face on the mention of the word "love". Ah, her
Happiness and her love for her silly little sister! Her sister, Khushi loved her like
nobody did. She didn't care of anything else, she just wanted her little sister to be
happy always. They were twins, the non-identical one with Khushi being 12 minutes
older than Muskaan but even the twelve minute was a lot as Khushi was always the
mature and sensible one while Muskaan was crazy and carefree. The relation they
both shared was very precious, very different, they were more like best friends than
sisters. They would read the other in and out without the other saying a word, *sigh*
if only she had read her sister right at the right time, she thought. Had she known
what pain her sister was going through then thing in present would surely have been
different.
"I wish I could do something for them Di, I wish I could just get away from their path
so they both could be together and happy." Muskaan said with a sad smile on her
lips.
It was after a few weeks that she again came to us and said there was some
complications in her pregnancy. She had a tumor in her uterus and it could turn risky
if not treated on time. She said the tumor could hamper the infant's growth inside
her womb but for it to be cured she would have to do an abortion and she was not
ready for it. The doctor had clearly said if it is not cured and the growth in size of the
tumor is stopped with medications, the baby would grow fine but during delivery it
would cause problems and it could even risk her and the baby's life, still she wanted
to take the risk. We tried our best to make her understand what she was doing was
wrong but she was stubborn, she didn't listen to a word we said and when we told
about talking to you in this matter, she stopped her with her oath Chote. She asked
us to promise her that we would never say anything on that matter to anyone, she
said if we wanted to see her happy we would keep it hidden. She was already too
upset knowing about you both and we didn't want to make her more sad so being
helpless we had to agree whatever she said. We made sure she took her medicines in
time and even talked to her doctor personally to know to know about her health time
to time and the doctor had said it was not a minor issue but if handled with care
things might be okay, but it didn't go well Chote, it didn't. we lost her just because of
our stupidity, we should have talked to you both about this matter but her promise
had us vulnerable." Anjali completed saying about the conversation they had with
Muskaan and everyone in the room was in tears. Khushi was crying bitterly by the
end thinking how difficult things would have been for her baby sister after knowing
about her and Arnav, how much of courage it would have taken her to act all normal
before them when she was dying inside with the truth.
"How could you hide such a big thing from us, Di? Nani you're the elder and sensible
one how could you fall for her silliness?" Arnav asked incredulously not believing his
family could act that funny.
"We know it was our fault not to tell you both about her but we just wanted her
happiness Chote and that was all we could think then. At times we did feel we are
doing a mistake but her promise didn't let us think else wise and we just stayed
quiet." Nani said remorsefully while all Arnav did was shake his head but there was
someone there who didn't listen to any of these things, she was lost deep in her own
thoughts.
Maybe hiding the truth from Smiles and trying to give her happiness on the basis of
that hidden fact was not at all a good idea, Khushi thought. She knew she was at fault
but she also knew it was her love for Muskaan which had made her hide her
relationship which she actually shared with Arnav. Muskaan only knew that Arnav
and Khushi were friends from college days, the best of all, but she didn't know in all
those years they had grown feelings other than friendship which was much more
stronger.
I should have let Muskaan known about us immediately after she confessed her love
for Arnav, that would have given her momentary pain and hurt but she should not
have to go through all the pain alone later, she thought as more tears rolled down her
eyes.
Everything that happened was destined and so was Muskaan's death. No matter how
much one tries, going against the almighty's plan is not in their hand and they all
knew it well but still somewhere they thought they were responsible fr what all that
happened.
"What had to happen has already happened Chote and thinking about it will not
change a thing. Muskaan bitiya was clear with what she wanted from you both and I
think you both should think about it." Nani said after a long silence.
"There's nothing to think about it Nani, like I said earlier forget about getting
married we are not even giving it a thought." he said dismissively.
"But.."
"Marriage is not a joke Nani that I will marry anyone just because someone wants me
to do so." Arnav said frustrated.
"But why not Chote? It is Muskaan bitiya's last wish and moreover you both love
each other then why not?" she enquired.
"It was love only for me Nani, that was just a one sided love." Arnav said silently.
Khushi who was still silent heard him say so and it made her feel like someone had
just taken her heart in their fist and squeezed it really bad. She felt sick after hearing
him because she knew what he said was not true and he knew that himself. She was
already sad with all the happening and his statement just added more salt in her
wound making it burn even more.
"I loved Khushi and I always will , there's no doubt there but my love has nothing to
do with this matter here. I am not a puppet or a toy Nani that people expect me to
accept every decision they make for me, I am a human and I have feelings too. Its not
easy for me to marry someone with a person asking me to do so and then after a year
marry other one because the person who was supposedly my wife wants me to.
Seeing me married to Khushi may be Muskaan's wish but I am not accepting it, this
is my life and I decide not to fulfill her last wish. I hope I have made myself clear." he
said firmly. He had seen Khushi flinch at his words and he knew somewhere it must
have pierced her heart but he was equally hurt and it was high time he decides
something for his own rather than just doing what the ones whom he loved or the
ones who love him wanted him to do.
______________________________________
So this was it, I am sorry if the chapter is too crappy.
Actually the idea seemed really appealing to me but now that I have actually started
writing on it, it's really difficult. Portraying all the emotions and all is kinda tough
thing to do and I am really doubtful if I am doing it right.
Many of you were still confused after the last chapter but I hope this has cleared all
your confusions. So it was like Arnav and Khushi loved each other but Muskaan came
into the picture and then Khushi being Khushi sacrificed her love and made Arnav to
the same and blah blah. Sab abhi bol doongi toh next chapter mein kya likkhungi? :P
Chapter 3
**Flashback starts**
"Khushi.. Umm.. Woh.. I l-love you." he said in his usual husky voice, a tinge of
nervousness added this time.
"Gosh, I finally got to hear this! I thought you will take forever to say these words."
she said smiling widely.
"Huh? Meaning?"
"Meaning I love you too Arnav, I love you too."
"Umm.. You sure?" he asked scratching the back of his head leisurely.
"Lemme think.. Uh... Shit, I am not!" Khushi exclaimed.
"What the!!"
"Obviously I love you silly, I am sure about it." she said as she pecked gently on his
cheeks and ran away feeling shy.
**Flashback ends**
Arnav who was resting on the recliner woke up with a jerk. After the conversation
downstairs he had come to his room and being frustration with the things happening,
he had drowned himself in alcohol. Taking a shot after another when he was finally
able to cool down to some extent he had rested his head on the recliner and had
fallen asleep in no time but the little flashback from his past woke him up making
him all the more restless.
Straightening himself he again poured the hard drink into the glass place besides it
and gulped it, the liquor burning his throat as it traveled down his body.
"Khushi do you think we should let our families known about us now?" he asked.
They were sitting a park, hands in hands with Khushi's head rested on his shoulder.
It had been three years of their togetherness as a couple and in all those years their
relationship had become very beautiful, making the bond between them more
stronger.
"Do you really think they have not guessed about it already?" she asked looking
incredulously at him as he innocently shook his head in negative, making her heart
skip a beat with his adorableness.
"Aww my baby, you surely don't know things going around then. Haven't you noticed
the teasing glances Di passes at us whenever we are together?" Khushi asked.
"When I am around you, the only think I notice is you Khushi, the rest of the world
just blurs out." he said genuinely.
A light shade of pink appeared on her cheek hearing his confession and he smirked at
her reaction.
"I love you Arnav, never leave me alone. I can't imagine my life without you." she said
hiding her face on his chest while he kissed gently into her hair."
**Flashback ends**
I always kept my promise Khushi, I never left you alone, but you being the one who
asked me not to leave you, went away leaving me broken, he said as he gulped down
another shot.
"Arnav, Smiles is coming India next week. I am so excited of having her here with us
and to tell her about us. She has always known you as my best friend so I am eager to
see her reaction when I tell her about us." Khushi exclaimed happily.
"Ah thank goodness my adhi ghar-wali is finally coming, now I can spend some
lovely time with her when my sweetheart starts having her mood swings." Arnav
teased.
"Haww, she's my sister Arnav you can't even think of doing something like that!"
"I know she is your sister but she is also my saali and saali toh adhi ghar-wali hoti
hai." he winked.
Khushi was very infuriated with his talks and in no time started punching him with
her tiny fists.
"She is your saali Arnav, adhi or puri I am only your ghar-wali. I am really possessive
about you Arnav, I can't even think about sharing you with anyone." she said, her
eyes now getting moist.
"I was just teasing you baby, for me she is and will always be just your sister, she will
never be anything more or anything less than that." he said wiping the corner of her
eyes before hugging her tightly.
**Flashback ends**
His heart was already burning with the pain he was on going and the liquor, these
flashbacks were only adding more to that burn, that pain.
"Why Khushi? Why didn't you stand on your words?" he thought. "You always said
you were possessive about me then why did you just give me away to Muskaan?"
Tears rolled down his bloodshot red eyes, making the eyes burn with the salty liquid.
He clenched his jaws and shut his eyes close to surpass the pain, but nothing helped.
He thought the alcohol would help him get over the memories and pain for sometime
but it was drowning him into his past which he didn't want to remember. Then the
words which he said sometime back came playing on his mind.
"It was love only for me Nani, that was just a one sided love." he had said plainly but
he very well knew he was wrong in saying that. He knew the past one and a half year
was equally difficult for Khushi as it was for him. Making him marry Muskaan was
not easy for her, she was dying hundred death doing so, still the love for her sister
made her do that.
He was hurt for her making him marry Muskaan, he was hurt for her leaving him all
alone when he needed her the most, but he knew staying away must have been more
difficult for her. He at least had his family and Sashi uncle around him but Khushi
was all alone, making an excuse of pursuing some trainings she had left for
Hyderabad after his marriage with Muskaan. She would come to meet her father and
sister every month but still she was away just to hide her pain from her sister who
was unknown to all of it.
"No, no, no!! I cant think about all this, its all the past and it wont make a difference
now. I cant think of it, I don't want to think about it all." he rebuked himself before
taking another swig of his drink.
"What happened baby, everything alright?" he asked hugging her from behind.
Arnav was in the conference room and Khushi was waiting for him in his cabin. He
walked in after getting done with his meeting to find Khushi there facing her waiting
for him. Though she was facing the other side he could read her distress from her
demeanor so not wasting a time he stood behind her and took her in his loving
embrace.
"Yeah everything's good." she tried smiling.
"Told Muskaan about us?"

"No, she was talking about herself and mamma all the time and I didn't want to
shock her immediately. She will be with us for sometime, I will let her know soon."
Khushi explained.
"Hmm okay, but what's bothering you?" he asked seeing her fallen face.
"I don't know, I think Smiles is in love. I am not sure but the way she was behaving I
think there's someone in her life." she let out, confused.
"So what's there to think about?" He asked as he turned her around to face him and
pecked her forehead gently.
"I don't know, knowing how she is I don't want her to be hurt. What if the guy is not
good?"
"God Khushi, you don't even know if she really has someone in her life and you're
already think about the guy. I know you love you sister a lot and care a lot for her but
that doesn't mean you get gloomy for the things you are not even sure of. She's an
adult herself Khushi, if anything she knows how to handle things so don't worry. Now
please give me a smile, princess I can't see you like this." he said.
She wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled into his chest as he
smoothened her traces. "All the stress and anxiety disappears on its own when I am
with you, Arnav. I love you so much!" she mumbled on his chest as she tightened her
grip on his shoulder, hugging him for tightly.
Finally after sometime when he felt she was actually fine he pulled out from the
embrace and kissing her cheek softly led her to the cafeteria where they could spend
sometime together.
**Flashback ends**
Intuition, maybe it was her intuition which was making her so worried that day.
Maybe she had already read something in her little sister's behavior which made her
so restless. They say a women can clearly read other's eyes when its laid upon her
man, openly or secretively, maybe it was the same for Khushi, Arnav thought gulping
down yet another drink.
Arnav was in his room, getting ready for the party he had to attend when someone
barged onto his room. Looking up in the mirror before which he was setting his tie,
he saw Khushi walk in, all numb. Her face was pale, the sort of deadly one while her
lips were dried, her eyes all empty. Arnav was shocked and to be precise a little too
worried seeing Khushi that way. Before he could ask anything he saw her run and
come crashing into his chest as she hugged him tightly as her life depended on it and
she busted out crying scaring him even more.
"W-what happened Khushi? Why are you crying?" he asked with concern.
"Arnav.. Woh. Sm-smiles.."

"What about her?" he asked. "Is something wrong with her?" he added, now looking
into her eyes.
"S-she l-loves you, Arnav." Khushi stuttered blankly.
"What? What are you saying Khushi? How can she l-love me? We've.. We've only met
twice and talked 3-4 times over the phone then how can she just love me dammit?"
he asked running a frustrated hand through his hairs.
"I d-don't know, Arnav, I don't know anything. She..my sister loves the man whom I
love Arnav. How, why I don't know. I couldn't even get myself to say that also love
you and we already are in a relationship. I- I just came to you.." Khushi said, more
tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Hush baby, we will see to it.. You don't cry." he said cradling her in his arms.
"Arnav, Nani and Di were coming to meet papa this evening, no? We should stop
them Arnav, we should let Smiles know about us before they talk about our
marriage." Khushi said after a long silence.
"You're right Khushi, we should first talk to Muskaan before proceeding with out
marriage talks. Wait let me call them!" he said and dialed his Di's number.
-----
"Di" he said nervously.

"Chote we know you're desperate to know the marriage dates but we've just reached
here to have some patience" Anjali teased.
"No di, its not that li.."
"We will try looking for the immediate dates Chote, now please let us talk. You go to
the party, we will talk at night when you're back home.. Bye!" Anjali said and ended
the call not letting Arnav say anything.
----
"They're already there Khushi, I tried stopping Di but she didn't let me speak." Arnav
said apologetically.
"It's okay Arnav you at least tried, the rest is on Devi Maiyya's hands now." Khushi
urged. "I should leave you, least I can do now is go there and explain her things."
Kissing him softly in the cheeks she smiled gently at him and left from there leaving a
helpless Arnav behind.
**Flashback ends**
He opened his eyes again with a jerk, her blank eyes, her dreaded pale tear drenched
face flashed before his eyes. He still remember how stiffened her form was and even
after him smoothing she never seemed to be better. There was something which she
feared maybe it was her sister's pain or something else he didn't know but there was
something. The evening passed with one shocking revelation but the next morning
turned their life upside down. How he wished that had never happened, how he
wished to undo the time and stop his Nani and Di from meeting Sashi uncle because
it was then the things had taken a complete turn and made them do thing they never
wanted to do.
"Chote Sashi uncle was very happy that we finally took things ahead, now you will
soon get married to your Khushi and she will come to this house finally as a bahu."
Anjali chirped.
Arnav smiled at her sister but his mind was somewhere else. Khushi had not phoned
him the previous night after getting home. What must have happened there, he
thought.
Moving little away from where his family was seated Arnav was about to dial her
number when he saw her walk in.
She stumbled her way in looking very weak. It seemed like she had no energy left
within her. She seemed broken, devastated and traumatized, tears flowing freely
from her eyes she looked fragile. Seeing Khushi everyone present there were shocked
especially Arnav, rushing to her he held her by her shoulder and brought her inside.
Making her sit on the sofa he knelt before her and asked what was wrong.
"Khushi, did Muskaan say anything?" he asked about which he had a doubt.
"S-she loves you, Arnav" Khushi said shocking everyone else.
"We've talked about that already, baby." he said holding her hands in his own.
"She thinks Nani and Di were there to ask for her hand in marriage." Khushi said and
everyone gaped hearing her.
"But they were there for you, then.." Arnav tried to explain her, to ask her, to soothe
her, he wanted to do many things at that moment but her next sentence stopped him.
It made him to stiff and he felt like the earth was swept away from below his feet.
"Marry her Arnav, marry Smiles." it was nothing but a soft whisper but everyone
heard it and they all felt horrified.
First her numb demeanor and then her blatant wish, it was too much for them all to
handle.
"What are you saying bitiya? You both leave each other, how can you ask Chote to
marry your little sister. Will you sister agree to marry Chote knowing he is someone
her elder sister loves?" Nani intervened.
"We will n-never let her know, Nani, we shall keep it hidden from her. B-but Arnav
has to m-marry her." she stuttered.
"Khushi.. Baby listen to me. We will think about this matter and decide something
better, just give me sometime." Arnav said, exasperatedly trying to think of
something.
"No Arnav this is the only option we have. From the time Di and Nani had left she is
dreaming about her future with you, in this house as your wife. We can't break that
dream Arnav, we cant let her be hurt."
"And what about us Khushi? What about our dreams and wishes? What about every
those things which we have planned together?" Arnav gritted out now losing his
control.
Khushi just sat there numbly not replying anything and that infuriated him more.
Making her stand up he dragged her away from there to his room and closed the door
with a bang.
Pointing at every corner of his room he showed her what she was to him. Every wall
of his room had a picture of her, some with him and some without him. The cards
and gifts which she had given in several occasions set in the glass shelf with utmost
love.
"See this room Khushi? Iss room ke har kone mein tum basti ho, how do you expect
me to share this room with someone else?" he asked.
Dragging her to the pull side he showed her the rose plants which they had planted
together.
"See these flowers? They have their own fragrance par phir bhi inme se tumhari hi
khusboo aati hai, how do you think will these fragrance go away?"
He showed her the pool and the recliner placed by its side.
"Remember this pool? it's the same pool sitting by which we had planned of our
future together.. Remember this chair??? it's the same chair leaning on which we had
dreamt of growing old together. Tum mere saare sapne, meri saari khushiyaan, saari
umeedein mujhe kaise cheen sakti ho, Khushi? How?" he asked jerking her.
"Main tumse kuch nahi cheen rahi hoon Arnav all I am saying is to think your future
with Smiles, not me. All that you have dreamt for will be the same but instead of me,
Smiles will be there by your side." Khushi said.
"But I love you dammit, not anyone else but you. I have said you earlier and I am
saying you this again, Muskaan to me is and will always be just your sister and
nothing else. I want you in my life Khushi, by my side now and forever. I love you
and I want to grow old with you so what you're asking for can't happen." he
exclaimed.
"I love you too Arnav, I have and I always will but I love my sister too and maybe a
little more than I love you and for the sake of that love I am begging you Arnav
please, please marry Smiles."
"No Khushi I.."
"If you really love me, you will do this Arnav." she said, her voice flat and stony.
"Khushi no..please don't.."
"Yes Arnav..please!" she said and giving him a final peck on his lips ran out of his
room.
**Flashback ends**
Arnav gulped down another shot of the scorching whiskey and threw the glass on the
floor which came crashing into innumerous pieces as it hit the fierce ground. He
smiled scornfully seeing those scattered pieces of glasses, it somewhat reminded of
his own heart which was all broken and shattered. He took a mouthful of the drink
directly from the bottle, if only he thought, if only she had not taken such hasty
decision. He always felt they could have come up with something better but she never
gave him a chance, she was too blinded in her sister's love that she didn't mind
breaking her own heart, she didn't mind writing down her own happiness in her
sister's name. Khushi has asked him to marry Muskaan in the name of their love and
he did, no matter how much he didn't want to comply yet he did, just for her, for
their love.
Even though it was because of her demand he had married Muskaan, he always saw a
longing in her eyes. There was a hollowness in them which said she needed him as
much as he needed her but nothing could be done then. They never talked properly
after that day leaving for the time when Muskaan was around but her eyes said him
the story which she would never say on her own and he was satisfied with it but then
came that unfortunate day which changed everything, every relation, every equation.
"This is not right Arnav, you are married and the only one who has right upon your
heart is Smiles, you wife. Forget the past Arnav, holding on it will give you nothing
but pain, just move on." she said her eyes brimming tears.
Khushi was back from Hyderabad and like always she had come to meet her sister
there in Raizada Mansion. It was already seven months of their marriage but every
time Arnav saw her he wouldn't be able to control his emotions and he would corner
her not caring someone might catch them. He just wanted answer from her and she
said the same every time.
"Had moving on been so easy, you would also have moved on Khushi." he said.
"I have already m-moved on Arnav."
"Then why do your eyes tell a different story? Why can still see a longing in them?"
he asked.
"My eyes are saying the same thing as I am Arnav you are just reading it wrong." she
said, now struggling to stay strong.
"Our story was finished long back Arnav, now its time to start a new story. I have
already turned over the page and past in deep inside it which I don't want to ever dig
upon. Its netter you also turn over the page soon." she suggested which a broken
voice and pushing him hard walked back to Nani's room not before straightening her
form.
Arnav was hurt hearing her and at the same time infuriated. Moving on was the last
thing he ever thought of and there she is asking him to do so as if it was the most easy
thing to do.
Turning over the page might have been easy for you Khushi but it will never be for
me, he said to himself as he wiped the lone tear that escaped his eyes.
He had angrily left from there after seeing her gone and when he returned back late
at night, he was fully drunk. Stumbling and lurching he walked to his room and the
only face he saw was of Khushi, his Khushi. Taking it to be his hallucination he
tottered forwards and touched her gently only to find out it was not any dream and
she was actually there before him. Dressed in a beautiful pink saree she stood there
smiling softly at him and he smiled back. He took two steps forward now standing
really close to her and stared into her eyes intently before hugging her tightly. He
had missed her every much in all those months and seeing him behaving so normal
he couldn't help but be happy. He hugged her, he kissed her, he swayed her in his
arms, he did everything that a happy man would do before kissing her deeply on her
lips. He had expected her to push him, to say what they were doing was wrong but
nothing like that ever happened, in fact she kissed him back with the same fervor
which made him all the more happy. Maybe it was the love for her or it was the
longing of all those months he had wanted to be in her arms he didn't know but he
was so lost in the moment that he didn't even mind crossing the limit because he
knew making love to his Khushi could never be wrong. The situation they were in at
that moment was wrong but he wanted to show her how much he loved her, how
much he had missed her and he did by making love to her, senseless.
The next morning he woke up with a hangover, his head aching really bad and his
eyes burning. Massaging his forehead he was about to wake up when he realized he
was naked. A little taken aback he examined the surrounding rubbing his sleepy eyes
and what he saw next left him completely blown, he felt sick. He saw Muskaan there
lying on the other side of the bed..naked.
The event of the past night came seeping into his mind and he cursed himself for
being so reckless. He felt guilty, guilty for taking his relation forwards with Muskaan
but what made him more guilt-ridden was he mistook Muskaan for Khushi. Even if
he was inebriated how could he mistake someone else as Khushi, he cursed himself
but it was already too late because what had to happen had already happened and
nothing could be changed then.
He was shameful even to face Muskaan so he started zooming away, ignoring her and
acting aloof. When Khushi was there the next month he had not been able to face her
and had ignored her in the same way he ignored Muskaan and her questions but all
that soon came to an end when Muskaan one day came to him with her pregnancy
report which read positive'. Everyone had been surprised hearing the news but they
were happy nonetheless, they were happy thinking he had finally moved on but that
only made him feel more rueful because for him all that happened was just a mistake
and he had not moved on.
Hearing about her sister's pregnancy Khushi was back again after a week and it was
after two whole months that he was facing her properly. He expected her to be hurt,
to be upset but nothing that he expected for happened. He just saw a girl who had
masked her every feeling before him and that suffocated him from within. What
added more to her misery was this time her eyes didn't say him about her feeling, it
was all blank.
"Congratulations Arnav, I see you've finally move on, moved on really well.
Congratulations once again, you're soon going to be a father." she had said faking a
smile and after that she was just gone.
He was remorseful of everything that happened but he had come with a decision
which he thought was appropriate. He had decided to let go of his feelings, to keep it
deep in his heart but never let it out. He had decided if not love, he could at least give
Muskaan the respect and care she deserved and from that day burying his past deep
inside his heart, he had started behaving normal with her, giving her the place of his
wife which was her right.
**Flashback ends**
That day was the first time he had tried to soothe down his burning heart with the
burning sensation of alcohol. Swamping himself in the intoxicating liquor was surely
not a good thing to do as it had made him do something of which he could not even
think of in his sober self. It had taken him really long time to take the decision of
letting go his past and accepting Muskaan as his wife. He always thought Muskaan
was happy hence after but today's day said a different story. All the time when he was
thinking he was making her happy, she was actually dying inside. He gulped down a
mouthful of alcohol again as her letter and Nani's words came playing in front of his
eyes.
Marry Khushi. What it that easy? Not at all, he had already spent too many month
burying his feelings that it wont come anytime soon, he said to himself and tried hard
to believe what he said but he knew that was not true. No matter how hard he tried
his feelings for Khushi was never hidden, never concealed.
Argh!!! Why is life this complicated, he thought angrily as he threw the bottle on the
floor and it came down crashing down similarly like the glass did earlier.
He rubbed his eyes which were bloodshot red from crying and drinking and got up
from the recliner stumbling. Holding the wall he lurched forward to the pool and
breathed deeply, his lungs filling in with the cool air as he did so. Carefully he walked
forward and stood in front of the door which lead to the guest room. He wanted to go
in but at the same time he didn't yet he pushed at the door to find it closed. Sighing
deeply he knocked softly and waited for it to open and within some seconds it flew
open and Khushi stood there looking at him with confusion written all over her face.
"Arnav??" she asked and saw him stumble as he tried to walk in.
"You're drunk!" she exclaimed incredulously before holding him and taking him
inside.
Making him sit down on the sofa she closed the door quickly not wanting the little
one to feel cold.
"Khu..." he tried saying but she hushed him.
"Baby's sleeping." she said pointing at his little angel who was sleeping peacefully on
the bed.
"What are you doing here at this time, Arnav?" she asked in a whisper.
"I just wanted to see you." he said.
"Why?"
"I was feeling alone Khushi, so very alone." he said as a lone tear rolled down his
cheek making her heart ache a bit.
Taking her hand in his own he tugged at it and made her sit down next to him.
"You should go sleep Arnav." she said not meeting his eyes.
Everything he had said downstairs had hurt her enough and she surely was not ready
to take in another set of his hurtful words.
"I need to be by your side Khushi, at least don't push me away this time." he
whispered in a painful voice.
Before she could say anything he slouched and laid down placing his head on her lap,
taking her by surprise.
"I have missed you Khushi, I have missed you so bad all these time." he said and
closed his eyes shut.
"I had missed you too Arnav, life without you was not as easy as I thought it to be."
she said sighing soft as she ran her hand through his locks.
________________________
So here's the bit of flashback from Arnav's side, I hope the confusion about how the
baby came into the scene is now cleared!
The next chapter will have whole past in it, either as Khushi's monolgue or as a
narration.
Chapter 4
Not every bud blooms into a flower, similarly not every pages from the past holds
only good memories, thus there was Khushi walking down the memory lane and re-
opening the chapters which she believed were closed forever. She had stopped
looking back into the past from quite sometime now but today after seeing Arnav and
hearing his talk, she was forced to go back into the time and curse herself for being so
stupid to let Arnav go just like that. She knew she was wrong in having Muskaan's
wish up hand but was she really to be blamed? Everyone wanted their sibling to be
happy and she wanted the same but was her sacrifice worth it? Khushi had feared of
losing her little sister and thus had taken such a big step which only made Muskaan
happy leaving her and Arnav all shattered but now that Muskaan was gone very far
from them all leaving them alone forever, she thought if her sacrifice really held any
meaning. No, her heart and mind screamed, her sacrifice had no point because she
lost her sister anyway and the man whom she always wanted to see happy was in the
deepest of his pain. Muskaan's death was destined, it was something god had
planned himself yet she found herself guilty for the happening. She thought maybe if
Muskaan knew about them earlier she would have been with them today. Who was
she kidding, nobody could go against what god has written and this was written in
their fate since forever. Moreover she had tried telling her sister about her relation
with Arnav hadn't she? It was Muskaan who was stubborn enough not to give an ear
to her words. She always believed what she wanted to and did as her heart said, she
loved Khushi very dearly but she thought about herself first and the same had
happened always and the same had resulted in making Khushi helpless in front of
her blatant wishes. Khushi caressed Arnav's face who was lying with his head in her
lap and removed the locks from his forehead, massaging him temples lightly ceasing
away the worry lines formed in there. He looked calm in his sleep, all his inner
turmoil seemed to be resting too as he slept peacefully. Khushi ran her fingers
through his face taking in the changes time and circumstances had brought into him,
even in his distressed form his charm was alluring but she noted it had faded away
and needed much polishing. She glanced at her other hand which he was holding
tightly in his grip, as if fearing she would leave him if he didn't held into her. She
caressed their interlocked hands and admired his calm sleepy form as her mind
drifted into the memories from the past.
After meeting Arnav Khushi was now back home thinking of things to make her
sister, Smiles understand about the situation but what she saw reaching home left
her confused. She expected Muskaan to be sad or angry but she was welcomed by an
overly excited Muskaan who seemed very happy. Just as she saw Khushi she hugged
her sister with glee and rocked her in her arms showing her elation. Though confused
Khushi was happy, she thought maybe Muskaan was happy with her relation with
Arnav and had accepted it heartedly however what she said next shook Khushi's
world.
"Happiness I cant tell you how happy I am. Arnav's Nani and Di were here today with
his rishta and I cant just tell you how much happy I am!!" she heard her sister say.
"I know they were here. Ar.."
"Oh my god so you knew everything already? Were you trying to surprise me? Oh you
surely wanted to but trust me Happiness I loved this. I knew he loved me too but I
didn't know he was this serious that they would already come here to fix our
alliance." Muskaan let out excited.
"What?" Khushi exclaimed, her body now going numb.

"Oh now don't act as if you don't know and if you really don't then go call your best
friend and ask him." Muskaan said winking at her before walking away from there.
"Papa??" Khushi called out, her voice unsure, her mind going blank.
"She is taking the whole things wrong Khushi, she thinks they were here for her."
Sashi explained his daughter. "But I never knew she had feelings for Arnav, didn't
you ever tell her about you both?" he asked shaking his head at the turn of events.
"I never got any appropriate time papa but this.. I will have to talk to Arnav about
this." Khushi said hurriedly and walked away from there, still not believing Muskaan
had mistook the whole thing.
Going to her room she dialed Arnav's number but remembering he was on a party
she cancelled the call and went to her room to think of something.
Later after dinner when Muskaan had retired to her room Khushi stayed back with
Sashi to seek his help in this matter. She didn't want to make Muskaan sad telling her
about Arnav but she couldn't let her live in false hope too.
"Didn't Di and Nani say they were here for me papa? How can Smiles take the whole
situation wrong?" Khushi who was sitting on the floor by Sashi's chair resting her
head on his lap asked tiredly.
"They did beta but Muskaan thinks they are mistaken, she believes you and Arnav
are just best friends and can never fall in love." Sashi explained gently caressing her
hairs.
"But we did! I know I should have let her known long time back but I thought I would
say her when we are face to face, I wanted to see her reactions. Little did I know she
would tell her about her feelings for Arnav even before I say her about our relation."
Khushi let out sighing at the end.
"Jo hona tha woh ho gaya hai Khushi, there's no point thinking about it. For now the
more important thing in hand is how will you explain Muskaan everything? She
believes the rishta has come for her and knowing how stubborn she is, its very hard
to deal with her."
"I know papa but she will have to understand. Arnav and I love each other, we have
been in a relationship for many years now so she will just have to accept things. I will
talk to her in the morning and say her Di and Nani were not mistaken, the rishta was
for me and Arnav loves me." Khushi said determined making her father nod his head
understandingly.
Unknown to them there was someone listening to their conversation and what she
heard left her shell shocked.
"Happiness????" Muskaan called out, her voice shaking.
Sashi and Khushi were shocked seeing Muskaan there with all the colors faded from
her face, they figured out she had heard all about Khushi and Arnav. She had to know
it anyway but not in this way, they were not sure how she would react now.
"Smiles what are you doing here? You were gone to sleep, right?" Khushi asked as
she stood up and walked towards her little sister.
"Yeah but I wanted to sleep with you tonight, sharing you about my dreams and
happiness so I was here to take you to my room. And I did the right thing coming
here I am guessing or else I would never know my sister loved the man I loved."
Muskaan let out accusingly.
"Its not like that Smiles, I wanted to tell you but I could say anything you said you
loved him and I just didn't knew how to react to it. I..." Khushi tried explaining but
Muskaan was not ready to understand anything.
"How could you hide this from me Happiness? You...you know I feel so betrayed at
this moment." Muskaan said incredulously.
This is not how Khushi had thought things to go, she knew explaining everything to
Muskaan is going to be tough task but she never in her wildest dreams thought
Muskaan will come to know about things this way.
She moved forward towards her sister trying to make her understand but Muskaan
took steps backward clearly indicating she didn't want to hear anything.
"Musky just for once listen me out, I didn't mean to hide anything or for you to know
it this way. Please!!" Khushi said pleadingly but Muskaan was still shaking her head
vigorously and moving backwards and in the next moment she fell down on the floor
unconscious.
"Muskaan!!" Sashi and Khushi shrieked at once as they ran towards the unconscious
Muskaan.
With her father's help Khushi took Muskaan to her room and placing her on the bed
properly she called their family doctor calling out an emergency. As the doctor came
and checked Muskaan he said them it was just because of the shock and stress and
otherwise she was all good, making them sigh in relief.
It was already late night thus Khushi asked Sashi to get some rest while she stayed
back in Muskaan's room just to check on her time to time and be there when she
gains consciousness.
Khushi was sitting on the bean bag couch reading a magazine when she heard soft
noises, looking up she realized it was Muskaan muttering. Thinking she probably
needed something Khushi walked towards the bed where her sister was sleeping to
understand what she was saying better but what she heard left her dumbfounded.
"I love him Happiness, I love him very very much. I know his rishta has come for you
but you don't love him, in fact you cant love him. He is your best friend and also my
love, your's little sisters love. As a kid I had said if we fell for the same guy I would
happily let go of him for your sake but growing up I have learnt life's not about the
silly stuffs we all have said in immaturity. Had it been someone else I would have but
not Arnav. He is mine and if you try coming between us I will die, no that'd be easy..
I- I will go away from you like I did before but this time never to be back. I love you
Arnav, you're mine, just mine." Muskaan muttered softly taking Khushi by surprise.
She didn't know how she was to react to this. Muskaan may have said that in
unconsciousness but she did mean each and every word of hers which Khushi knew
every well. She was numb hearing her sisters word, what was she really to do now?
Her eyes welled up with tears her mind clouded with confusion. Arnav and Muskaan
both were equally close to her, she loved both of them but she was now in a fix.
Hearing Muskaan one thing was sure, she wouldn't let go of Arnav easily but how
was Khushi to explain her that she could never get what she desired for. Arnav loved
her not Muskaan and she had to understand that.
"But what about the thing she just said? Did she really mean it? Would she really go
away? No!! I cant let her go." Khushi said to herself as helpless tears made its way
own her cheeks.
She had lost Muskaan once earlier and she couldn't let her go again. Muskaan though
her little sister, filled the emptiness she felt on Garima's absence and she could let
her go. Her mother had left her a long time back, now she cant let Muskaan go away
too. But would she be able to leave Arnav just to be with Muskaan? She didn't think
that was possible either!
She didn't know what was happening or what was to happen, but she wasn't getting
any good of tomorrow and it was scaring her.
----
Khushi and Muskaan, the beautiful twin sisters were born to a parents whose
relation was in the verge of breaking, to a couple who could set a perfect example for
a marriage of compromises. There are many couple who after marriage stay together
and start their family just to show others that they are happy, Sashi and Garima were
one amongst them. Their being an arranged marriage all they did right from the time
they tied knot was to compromise, to the world they could appear as the best couple
but only they knew the story that was hidden within the walls of their house. Even
after their trying many a times their relation could never get normal, with completely
different perception they could never come together which lead to many fights and
arguments and the fact that both worked just didn't help things get any better. But
the things went out of the hands when Sashi lost his job during recession. He tried in
many companies to get good job but none provided him any according to his
qualification making him lose hope and stay back. Few months passed smoothly with
Sashi spending time with his little princesses while Garima was still working,
however things later started getting bitter when she started taunting Sashi for not
looking for a job. It was not like he didn't try, he just didn't get any good post as per
his qualification but Garima didn't understand that which lead to many serious fights
between the duo. Unknown to all this Khushi and Muskaan were on their own world
enjoying their time as they grew up together. Right since childhood Khushi was soft
hearted who did little of the things to make her sister happy while Muskaan was a bit
selfish and over possessive about her toys which she never shared with Khushi. Sashi
though mad many things in mind he never showed his worry to his little princesses
and gave him the love their mother couldn't give them. However as time passes by
the fights between Sashi and Garima started getting more serious and as their
daughters had grown up to be a little sensible now they understood things between
their parents were not normal. Seeing their parents fight used to hurt them so they
had then promised no matter how worse things would get there would be no fights
between them but god had decided something else for them. One fine day after
getting very tired of the uncountable fights, arguments and compromises Sashi and
Garima decided to get separated and with the court proceeding they were soon
divorced. Khushi and Muskaan were just seven years then so Garima had wanted to
take her daughters with her, however they later decided to keep one daughter each
and without fighting for their custody Garima took Muskaan away from her for her
being the younger one and Sashi was left with Khushi.
Khushi and Muskaan were too small to understand what was happening but even
with their mindset they had understood they were being separated. Muskaan was
never close to any one of her parents still she preferred being with Sashi over Garima
but things didn't happen as per her wanting and as Khushi was left with her father
she believed Khushi had taken away her father from her making the little girl upset
with her elder sister. After the separation Sashi was always in contact with Muskaan
but Garima never cared to have a word with Khushi and neither did Muskaan talk to
her making Khushi feel left out but she was always the understanding one thus she
took it lightly. Muskaan though missed her sister she had ended all contacts with
Khushi for a long time but later after almost 11 years of parting, one fine day she
asked for Khushi while talking to Sashi and apologized and it was after that the
sisters had again got back together. Khushi had been very happy getting her little
sister back and even though her mother never cared to talk to being with Muskaan
filled that void in her heart.
----
The next morning Muskaan woke up feeling fresh. Stretching her arms she was about
to get out of the bed when she saw Khushi sleeping on the couch uncomfortably.
"Happiness?" she called out as she marched towards the sleeping Khushi.
"Huh?" Khushi said in a sleepy voice, her eyes fluttering in order to fix her gaze.
"Why are you sleeping here so uncomfortably? You could have slept on the bed
itself." Muskaan enquired worried her sister would get a back or a neck pain.
"Oh was just waiting for you to gain consciousness, I don't know when I fell asleep."
said a half sleepy Khushi in between her yawns.
"Waiting for me to gain consciousness??"
"Ahan you had fainted the other night so.." Khushi trailed now getting up properly.
"Whaat? I fainted?" Muskaan squealed.
"Hmm you did." Khushi confirmed and seeing Muskaan all confused she took a
chance. "Don't you remember it?"
"No yaar, all I remember is I was in my room thinking of getting you here so we can
sleep together, nothing after that. Anything I should remember?"
"Nah nothing, you seemed confused so I was just asking." Khushi lied while she
sighed mentally. Now she could have a fresh conversation with Muskaan and try
explaining her things as she didn't remember the events of last night.
"Okay. I should call up mom and tell her about the good news now." Muskaan said
getting back to her excited form.
"Wait Smiles, I want to talk to you before that." Khushi explained determined.
"What is it that you cant wait for Happiness?" Muskaan asked confused why she
didn't let her speak to her mom first.
"You know Nani and Anjali Di were here for my rishta, don't you?"
"Yeah I do and I also know it was a mistake. They were not here for you Khushi, they
cant be here for you."
"Why? Why cant they be here for me??"
"Because you and Arnav are just best friends and Arnav loves me which means they
were here for me Happiness, not you." Muskaan said confidently.
"How can you be so sure of it Smiles?" Khushi asked not understanding how to break
the truth to her sister who was not ready to believe anything.
"I just know it Happiness, don't try acting as a CID now and let me make a call to
mom." Muskaan chuckled seeing her elder sister.
"But you are wrong Smiles, Arnav doesn't love you." Khushi said out. "He loves me
and I love him too." she added further.
"You both are best friends so its obvious you both love each other. What are you just
going about Happiness?" she asked now getting confused.
"I don't mean the love as friends Smiles, I meant he loves me as a man loves his girl
and I love him too." There she finally said it!
Muskaan paled out at Khushi's words, her eyes widened in shock and her throat
suddenly felt dry. "What are you saying Happiness?" she asked, her voice a mere
whisper.
"The truth Smiles, the truth." Khushi said not meeting her eyes.
Muskaan looked at Khushi incredulously for a while before bursting out with
laughter confusing Khushi. "You're such a good actor Happiness but I am not falling
for it. I know you and Arnav must have planned this to see my reaction but I am not a
fool you both thing me to be." Muskaan said chirpily.
"Why do you think I am joking Smiles?" Khushi asked.
"I don't just think but it I know its a joke, you cant love Arnav Happiness because he
is only your best friend and moreover he is the guy your little sister loves so I know
you wont ever come between me and the ones I love." Muskaan said simply smiling
and placing a hand on Khushi's shoulder. "You know how much I hate the ones who
comes between me and the things I want too well, don't you? Obviously you do, I had
once gone away from you for the same reason and I believe you don't want me to go
again." she added.
Khushi went numb as she heard the same thing twice within a matter of few hours,
she sighed with acknowledgement indeed she couldn't let go of Muskaan now. Apart
from Sashi, Muskaan is her only family and she cant be away from her.
"But why am I saying this to you, I know you were just joking so I will never leave you
now Happiness, never.!" Muskaan assured and walked towards the balcony dialing
her mother's number.
"This was not any joke Muskaan whatever I said was true but after this point my life
has become a joke. I love Arnav but I love you too and I cant afford you leaving us
once again. I will have to talk to Arnav, I am sure he'll understand my point. I will
have to talk to him." Khushi thought mentally as she closed the door behind her and
strolled to her room with her tears flowing uncontrollably.
"I am sure Arnav but I will have to do this. I know you will be hurt but I can let
Muskaan go Arnav, I just cant. I cant let go of you either, I love you so much but I will
have to do this." Khushi said hurriedly, her heart aching with her decision before she
left for RM.
**Flashback ends**
Khushi jolted from her sleep as all the things playing on her mind came to an end.
Arnav's hurt eyes when she had asked him to marry Muskaan flashed in front of her
eyes making her eyes well up with tears. Then she remembered Arnav was in her
room, where was he gone now? She looked around but there was no sign of Arnav.
Checking the time she saw it was three in the morning so walking towards the bed
she made milk for he baby and fed her while the little angel sucked the milk happily
cuddling into the warmth of her mother. After feeding her Khushi pulled the little
blanket over her and lied by her side and feel asleep with the baby.
The next morning as soon as she woke up she hurriedly freshened up and leaving the
baby with Anjali who had come to take her downstairs, walked to Arnav's room. The
door was ajar yet she knocked twice before entering inside to be greeted by Arnav
who seemed to have just woke up. He looked at Khushi confused trying to know why
she was there in his room early in the morning when the flashes of last night played
in his mind and he cursed himself for having gone to her room. He didn't want her to
know he was weak and the only comfort he could ever seek was her, however his
move last night had said it loud and he cussed himself running his fingers through
his hairs frustrated. Seeing him stand numbly with different emotions playing in his
face she cleared her throat to bring him out of his reverie.
"Uh... umm"
"I am sorry I should not have come to your room the other night." Arnav said feeling
guilty for going to her when he was all broken and in need of someone whom he
loved.
Khushi hadn't expected him to apologize, neither did she want him to feel bad for
coming to her so she tried making things light before starting with anything else.
"You don't have to be Arnav, you came there because you needed a friend and that's
completely alright." Khushi said softly trying to lessen his guilt but those words hit at
the wrong place.
Friend? Oh yeah friend or rather say best friends, before anything else they were best
friends but he had almost forgotten that now. But was he just a friend for her and
nothing more?
" Hmm.. Thank you very much Khushi Gupta for being a good FRIEND but I think
you have done enough favor so can you please leave me alone now because at this
moment I need some privacy more than I need any FRIEND." Arnav said. He didn't
want to be rude but what she said had hurt him. Okay he may be a man whose wife
had just died but he cant deny this woman standing before him was far more than
just a friend. She was the only one for whom his heart has even beaten for and out of
all the things she chose to say she was just a friend? That was not tolerable!
Khushi though a little taken aback understood the reason for his outburst but she
hadn't meant to hurt him, all she was trying was to take his guilt away but maybe her
choice of words were not correct.
"I didn't mean that Arnav." she said apologetically but Arnav was not ready to hear
anything. He already was angry with himself for getting so vulnerable and going to
her room the last night seeking comfort and now Khushi's words were just adding
more to the burning fire within him.
"Which part of LEAVE ME ALONE didn't you understand Khushi?"
"I am not leaving, not until I talk to you." Khushi said determined making Arnav look
at her in irritation.
"But I don't want to talk to you Khushi, I don't want to talk to anyone. My head is
already aching so please leave me alone." it was more of a request but Khushi didn't
budge. She kept standing at the same place as if saying she is not leaving unless he
hears what she has to say.
Khushi had always been adamant and Arnav knew it well however he was not going
to give in to whatever she says, not anymore. He waited for some more time for her
to make a move and walk outside his room but that didn't happen, she stood there
with folded arms looking at him fixedly. He sighed in frustration. "Okay you don't
want to leave? Don't leave, just stay here. I will go to some other room where I will
get some peace!" he said and was about to walk away but she caught his hand making
him stop on his track.
"What the hell Khushi? What do you want?"
"I want your 5 minutes and nothing more."
"Okay! You want 5 minutes?? I will give it to you, just say whatever you want to say
and then get going from my room."
"Before I start, promise me you would hear me out and try understanding my point
and you will also not interrupt me."
"Don't waste your time Khushi, just start with whatever you have to say Khushi."
Arnav said making an uninterested face and looked at his watch. "And your 5
minutes starts now."
He stood there looking at her intently and saw her fiddling with the end of her
dupatta. She seemed nervous!
"Done? A moment back you desperately wanted to talk to me and now that I am here
hearing you, you don't speak a word!" Arnav said seeing her gulp.
"Ha-haan I needed to talk b-but.."
"Stop with this crap already, kuch bolna hai toh bolo nahi toh just leave me alone
Khushi."
"Okay let me just come to the point then, I am ready for this marriage Arnav."
"What marriage? Whose marriage?" though Arnav had a rough idea of where she was
headed to, he didn't want to understand that.
"Um.. Our marriage" Khushi said nervously.
"What do you think marriage actually is Khushi? Is it some sort of joke for you?
Marriage is not a game of puppets..."
"I know its not a game of puppets Arnav, I know and I understand why you are
saying this. I have already pushed you into a baseless marriage and I regret it but just
think about this Arnav we will have to do this, not for ourselves but that little one
who doesn't even know her mother is no longer with her."
"Oh you don't understand Khushi, you don't at all. Only I know what pain I have
gone through because of one decision of your's. We were in a relationship Khushi, we
used to love each other but you easily gave me away to your sister like I was nothing
but a toy. I tried explaining you, I denied but you simply walked away giving me your
words and I being a fool did as you said. I loved you that much Khushi that I couldn't
go against your words, tumne apni kasam di thi mujhe and maine who nibhaya par
ab nahi. Whatever be the reason for my marriage, I was tied in a knot with someone,
and now I am not doing it again. As for my baby she has her father with her and I
don't think she needs anyone else." Arnav said , his voice reflecting the hurt and pain
he was going through. He had made his point pretty clear but there was something
Khushi wanted to add.
"Its not just you who has gone through all the pain Arnav, I have gone through the
same or even more. I know I was selfish then, I didn't want to lose my sister but how
was I wrong Arnav? Is wanting to be with my little sister whom I have almost lost
once a bad thing? I know I should not have let you suffer because of my little wish
but at that time my mind was just not working Arnav, I just didn't know what to do. I
loved you immensely but I was blinded with my sister's love. Seeing you become her's
was not at all easy for me, I knew you were not happy yet I tried making you
understand and asked you to accept her heartily. And when you did. I-I was so
broken. Her pregnancy news shook me from the core I realized you indeed and
moved on and I.."
"You believed I had moved on??" he asked. Muskaan's pregnancy said it loud and
clear to the world that he had accepted her finally then why did he expect Khushi to
think else wise?
"Hmm I did, Muskaan's pregnancy said that Arnav but later after that talk with you I
just felt more and more guilty." Khushi said looking down.
The next time Khushi was back to visit them after knowing about Muskaan's
pregnancy, she plainly ignored Arnav, she didn't know why but she just felt betrayed
knowing about Muskaan's pregnancy. She knew this day had to come one day or
other where Arnav will finally accept her and they would start their family and she
had even prepared herself for that day, but now that is was really happening she
couldn't help but feel hurt. She couldn't take the fact that Arnav had actually moved
on, moreover knowing Arnav is the father of the child made her feel suffocated. It
was her who pushed him into this relation and she wished him to be happy and move
on with life but when things were happening suddenly it was just too much for her to
take.
Sitting in the living room in RM she was sipping onto her tea when Arnav came
there. With Nani and Anjali being gone to the mandir and Muskaan being in the
kitchen they were alone and that was exactly what Arnav wanted, he needed answer
for her indifference. Taking her hand he pulled her into the nearby room and closed
the door behind them, pinning her to the same door.
"What are you doing Arnav?" Khushi gasped seeing his burning eyes. After ignoring
him for so long she was not ready to have this conversation.
"You tell me Khushi, what are YOU doing? What are you ignoring me for?" Arnav
asked looking deep into her eyes.
"I am not ignoring you Arnav, I.."
"Really? Then why haven't we had a word after you knowing about Muskaan's
pregnancy, what is this indifference in your behavior for?" Arnav asked distress.
"We have nothing to talk about now Arnav." Khushi replied blankly.
"Oh we have Khushi, we have so much to talk about. You cant just stop talking to me
when you know how much little of the things related to you matters to me."
"Why? You have already moved on Arnav and now are going to be a father so why do
you still care about me?" she asked, her eyes now getting teary.
"Because I love you dammit, I love you so much. I know I am going to be a father but
that was a mistake, I thought it was you Khushi. I was broken and drunk and all I saw
was you, it was you I made love to but reality hit me hard the next morning I woke
up. I just couldn't believe I had done something so silly." Arnav let out incoherently,
finally speaking up what was within him since long.
Khushi gasped at the revelation, she couldn't believe her ears. She felt guilty for
landing Arnav into this situation, all that was happening was because of her but it
was already too late. What had happened had happened and there was no turning
back now. She looked at him with hurt and guilt in her eyes one last time before she
pushed him and ran out of the room wiping her tears which was now flowing
uncontrollably.
**Flashback ends**
"Trust me Arnav I had never felt so bad than I felt that day, I loathed myself for
forcing you into all that mess but things once happened could not be taken back. The
time after that was really difficult for me and I believe it was the same for you but you
at least had your family with you Arnav, but I was away, all alone. I know it was my
choice to go there but I loved you Arnav and no matter how much ever I tried being
strong and acting unaffected seeing you with Smiles, I couldn't so going away was the
only solution. But trust me each and everyday for me was as difficult as it was for
you, you might have thought I never loved you after what I made you do but I loved
you then and I love you now Arnav, however.."
"Love? Really? One moment you say you believed I could move on and the very next
moment you say you love me. How contradicting Khushi!" he exclaimed with an
amused smirk.
"Whatever you feel it is, I have put forward my feelings Arnav and I say it again I am
ready for this marriage. You take your time and decide what needs to be done but
keep one thing in mind while taking any decision, growing up without your mother's
presence is not easy Arnav, a kid needs its mother as much as it needs its father. I
have lived with my mother just for seven years and even in those years I could never
feel her love so I know what growing up without your mother feels like and I believe
you yourself know what it is like.. So just think wisely!" Khushi said and walked away
from his room as she had promised while Arnav stood there engrossed in his
thoughts, Khushi's words playing in his mind.
____________________
I know many of you don't like the fact that Arnav is married to someone else than
Khushi and has a child with her, trust me imagining him with someone else is equally
disturbing for me. But this is a work of fiction so kindly dont't take in elsewise.
Do hit the LIKE button and leave in your views regarding the update.
For PMs, buddy Muffins.Rose
Thank you.
Rhea
Chapter 5
Arnav was in the living room playing with his little angel who was seated comfortably
on his lap when he saw her enter. Dressed in a mint colored kurta and leggings with
her hairs loosely tied she looked fresh, her face as calm as the color of her clothe. Her
eyes were all for the phone probably reading a text, reading which she shook her
head smiling softly and that smile spread on her serene face was enough to hitch his
breath but at the same time he was curious. What was she reading which made her
smile? His trance was broken when his bab squirmed lightly in his arms seeing her
maasi making him smile at how fond she was of Khushi.
"My baby wants to go to her maasi? But you have to wait angel because she is busy
smiling at her phone like a fool." Arnav said in a baby voice hearing which the baby
giggled.
Khushi who had not seen either of them there was startled with the sudden voice .
"Oh" escaped her mouth as she saw the baby and Arnav both looking at her and her
face softened soon to be scrunched up again as she pocketed her phone.
"Hello Mr. Raizada!" she exclaimed raising an eye at him.
"Hello yourself." Arnav said simply. "Baby was expecting her maasi to see her as soon
as she entered inside but her maasi was surely busy with something." Arnav added
after a moment, trying his best to hide the curiosity in his voice.
The "V" formed on her brows deepened hearing him but the line soon straightened
and she again smiled a soft smile.
"Sholly my baby, you know silly scam messages keep popping up." Khushi explained
more to the baby's father before kissing her on either cheeks, making her snuggle
closer on her father's chest.
"It's surprising to see you here at this time. Finally got tired of avoiding me?" she
asked looking straight into his eyes.
He knew what she was talking about and he was expecting this. After their talk he
had blatantly avoided having another conversation or even meeting her for almost a
month but he knew always avoiding her was not the solution so there he was today,
tired of playing the ignoring game. But he couldn't plainly say he was actually tired of
avoiding her and wanted to see her, could he?
"Avoid you? I don't think I was doing that Khushi." Arnav said feigning innocence,
trying for nonchalance.
"Oh don't even try Arnav, I know you were on your best of avoiding me." Khushi
looked at him accusingly.
"Well if you don't know Khushi, I am a busy man. I have my company to look after! It
takes a lots of attention and hard-work to take my company to the height it is today."
Arnav said shrugging apologetically.
Khushi narrowed her eyes at him further but chose to remain silent as she didn't
want to have any argument when she knew the answer clearly.
"So what have you thought?" she asked after a moment. She had waited enough to
know his answers and now that he was finally there before her she didn't want to take
a chance my delaying anymore.
"Thought about what?" he asked.
"About the talk we had that morning Arnav!"
Arnav furrowed his brows and ran his index finger across his lower lip. He tapped his
lip twice and shook his head. "I don't know what you are talking about." he exclaimed
unconvincingly looking, straight into her eyes and handing her the baby tried
walking off there.
Khushi was taken aback for a while but soon she gained her momentum and quickly
grabbed his arm, stopping him from walking away. "So you don't remember?" she
asked searching his eyes for answer.
Arnav let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes. He was not ready to have this
conversation again but he had no way to escape either. "No Khushi, I don't. I have a
lot of things to think about and i can't remember each and every one of it." he said
exasperatedly trying to get away.
"Okay never mind, I can always repeat myself Arnav. I can remind you what talk we
had and what you were to think about." She coolly said letting go of his hand moved
towards the sofa and placed the baby comfortably there, guarding her with cushions
before moving back to stand before Arnav.
"You sure can but I am not interested in having THAT conversation again, Khushi!"
he exclaimed, his lips pressed in a hard line.
"Oh, so you do remember?" Khushi asked folding her arms to her chest.
"Unfortunately, I do, I don't forget things easily. I wish I could as that would make
my life lot more easier but that's not possible. Now if youd excuse me, I have some
work to do." he said and took a step forward only to be stopped again.
"I understand you don't want to talk about it Arnav but you have to. We cant come to
a solution if you keep avoiding this matter!"
"We don't need any solution Khushi. Solution ki baat tab aati hai jab koi problem
hoti hai and yahan koi problem nahi hai. You don't want the baby to suffer without
her mother, you want to give her a mothers love, right? I completely understand that
but why don't you understand you can do that without us getting married? You are
her maasi Khushi and a maasi can always give a baby a mother's love, we don't have
to get married just for that, Khushi. She has her father, her bua, the whole family and
even her maasi with her Khushi, she will never feel the way I, you or Muskaan felt as
a child." Arnav said, his voice softening at the end.
"I know she will never have to go through that because its not just her father she has
with her but also the whole family. However there's a difference between maa and
maasi Arnav and Muskaan..."
"Okay if that's what you think then Di can adopt her. Di will be her MAA and Jiju her
PAPA and I can shower my love being a mama, I have no problem with that. But I am
not doing anything silly to satisfy your and your sisters wish Khushi, not again!"
Arnav said running his hand though his head. Marrying Muskaan was already a big
mistake, now he didn't want to commit another one by marrying Khushi just for
fulfilling Muskaan's last wish.
A gasp involuntarily left Khushi's throat as she took in Arnav's word. "Do you hate
me that much Arnav?" she asked, her voice a mere whisper.
Arnav sighed and fisted his fingers tightly. "No!" he breathed. Khushi's eyes shot up
and met his, the pain in her eyes mirroring his own but he can't fall weak, at least not
now. Her made a straight face and continued, "No, I don't hate you. Kaash main
tumse nafrat kar paata, you have given me enough reasons to do so but I couldn't. I
couldn't get myself to hate you Khushi, I just couldn't! I guess I loved you more than
I ever intended to that is why I was never able to move on but I can't risk another
heartbreak Khushi, I cant!" Having said that he walked away from there not believing
himself to hold onto that "I-am-not-affected-by-your-tears" mask any longer.
Khushi dropped into her knees sobbing softly, she could read the pain in his eyes.
Today, she could clearly see the damage she had done to this beautiful man more
than ever and she couldn't help but hate herself for acting so stupid back then. If only
she had not fallen weak to her sister's demand, if only she had given him a chance to
come with a better solution! Arnav who had now reached the top of the stairs felt a
pang on his heart seeing her cry, no matter how much pain she had given him he
could never see her cry. He closed his eyes ruefully, his jaw formed into a hard line.
He shot a last glance at Khushi and walked briskly to his room only to be engulfed by
its emptiness.
Wiping the tears with the back of her hand she walked to the baby who was looking
at her intently, her face amused and her eyes drowsy. She picked her up in her arms
and kissed her cheek softly. "Missed me?" she asked kissing her soft cheek again as
the baby smiled and snuggled closer.
________________
"What are you reading Khushi?" she heard a manly voice which started her, as a
result of which the notebook like thing fell of her hand.
"Hello papa, when did you come back?" she asked collecting the notebook.
"I came just now when you were engrossed in reading something. But how did you
come home early today. You.. Oh!! " Sashi said as he walked towards her but stopped
as he saw the baby sleeping peacefully on Khushi's lap.
" I found Happiness's diary in the closet so was just going through it. And yeah
surprise!! Everyone had to go to some puja and I didnt want to stay there alone so I
got your granddaughter here thinking of giving you a surprise but we ourselves got
surprised not seeing you around." Khushi said with a little chuckle.
"Ah I had some works to get done with . Anyway, how's my granddaughter doing?"
he asked kissing softly on baby's forehead.
"She's doing just fine. She waited a long time for her nanu to show up but as he
didn't, she fell asleep." Khushi said running her hand though her soft little hairs
lovingly.
Sashi smiled seeing his daughter and the little one. They looked adorable together!
Then he wondered what would it be like had Muskaan been there today with her
daughter. She was a kid herself, how would she look after the baby? Sashi smiled
fondly remembering his daughter's childishness and shook his head, those were good
days when Khushi and Muskaan were small! "So what did you find on Musky's diary
reading which you were so lost?" he asked taking a seat beside Khushi.
"Nothing much, I was just amazed reading it. You know papa she was living in some
different world, a world where she saw everything the way she wanted to. She didn't
care if the reality was for away from what she thought, she just believed she was
right."
"That doesn't surprise me beta, she had always been like that. As a kid it didn't create
any problem however that did create a lots of problems later." he sighed heavily
thinking of the happenings in the past few years.
"As Arnav says papa, things wouldn't have been that bad had I been a bit rational.
Then I hurried everything, forced Arnav into it but now that I think of it I realize how
stupid I had been!"
"He's right, things could have been better but you cant just blame yourself for it all
Khushi. You did it for your sister's happiness, though the step you took was not
exactly the right one."
"Hmm. I have done huge damage on him papa and he doesn't even let me rectify it.
After ignoring for almost a month when I finally got to talk to him that day he
straightaway denied from even giving the marriage thing a thought. He.."
"He's not wrong in doing so Khushi, he surely fears of getting into another
relationship now. You should understand him rather than making things more
difficult." Sashi said explaining his daughter.
"I understand but he should at least think about it papa. It also was Muskaan'..."
Before Khushi could continue Sashi intervened trying to clear his doubt, "You're not
doing this just for Muskaan's wish now, are you?"
"No papa, its not just for fulfilling her wish. I want him to give this relation a try for
us, for the baby, for me and most importantly, for himself! True, I partly want to
fulfill Muskaan's wish too but now its not just about her wish, its about Arnav!"
Khushi explained in a low voice.
"Its good to know you're not doing this just for fulfilling her wish Khushi. But you
should give Arnav some time, he has just been through a rough phase and thinking of
starting a new life right now is not easy for him."
"I am not asking him to think about it immediately papa, I just want him to give it a
thought but he has clearly denied it. I don't know how I am to make him understand
that I won't repeat my mistakes again, I will never so any such stupidity which will
hurt him. He has a lots of pain buried within him which is eating him up but he never
shares it to anyone, I want to be a friend and help him get over those, I want to take
away all his grief. I want to give him the love he deserves, papa and make him the
carefree happy man again which he used to be. This Arnav before us is just breathing
but I want to make him the old Arnav who believed in living life fully. I don't know
how I am to do all this though!!" she sighed. She really wanted to help Arnav, he had
suffered a lot because of her and her sisters so now she wanted to do something to
make him happy. If only that was as simple as the thought!
"The answer of your confusion is within the things you wish to do itself Khushi!"
Sashi exclaimed after hearing his daughter.
"Matlab?"
"Matlab yeh ki you have to be his friend first. After all he has been through, he is
afraid of another heartbreak, he's afraid of getting into any relationship which is
imposed on him for fulfilling somebody else's wish. It's obvious to feel that way so
you have to understand that and go easy on him, Khushi. Before anything else you
both were good friends, win that friendship back, win that faith again. Whatever the
situations had been, his love for you have never changed, he still loves you very much
but is afraid of giving his heart out again so you have to take it slowly. Don't force
him for anything, be his friend and slowly make him understand that its him you care
about not your sister's last with, its him whom you love more than anyone else. It will
take a lot of time as the wound of heart doesn't heal easily but one day he will surely
understand and come around, you will just have to be patient and give him the time
he needs to build that trust on your again." he said caressing Khushi's forehead, who
was lost on his words. "Think about it Khushi and see what you have to do." he added
before getting up and walking to his room to freshen up leaving Khushi in deep
thoughts.
Maybe her father was right, maybe she was being a little hard on him. But be his
friend again , was it even possible? That only time could tell!!
________________
Sorry for being away for so long everyone, but that I am back you surely will see
more of me now!
Do like and leave in your comments.

Silent readers, I understand you're too busy to drop your words but you can at least
take a few seconds out and hit the like button, right?
New readers, please buddy Muffins.Rose for PMs, no PM will be sent from my
original account.
Thank you
Rhea.
Chapter 6
Khushi was in deep sleep when her phone buzzed disturbing her. Rubbing her eyes
she stretched her hand and searched for her phone. She was surprised to see Arnav
calling her at that hour but in her sleepy state she didn't ponder about it and just
answered the call.
"Hello" she said with a lazy yawn. "Open the door Khushi, we are outside." Came an
urgent reply from him. She was too sleepy to think who "we" meant but she could
hear the baby crying softly which made her immediately stand up and sprint towards
the door to open it.
It had been nearly two weeks since she had that conversation with Arnav and about
one week that she had not seen the little angel. Her friend had all of a sudden phoned
her last week informing her about her wedding and inviting her on a short notice.
Khushi didn't want to go leaving the baby but Sashi, Nani and mostly Anjali urged
her to go saying that will freshen her up. She had still been reluctant but Anjali
convinced her she would take good care of the baby and Khushi had to give in to their
command and travel all the way to Bangalore where her friend was having a
destination wedding. She may not have liked the idea of going the initially but once
there she did have a good time and after a fun filled tedious week she was back home
just a few hours back.
She opened the door welcoming them in and took the baby into her arms as soon as
she closed the door behind them. She was crying loudly as Khushi hugged her closer
whispering sweet nothings to the child trying to stop her from crying.
"Meri Arushi baby kaisi hai? Miss kiya maasi ko? Maasi also missed her baby a lot."
Khushi said in a child like voice before kissing her forehead softly. Arushi had finally
stopped crying and was cuddling into her maasi breathing softly.
"Arnav she is burning with fever." Khushi exclaimed, her attention shifting to Arnav
for the first time after she had welcomed him in.
"She is having fever from the last two days." Arnav confirmed looking at his baby
who had calmed down in her maasi's arms.
"What? Why didn't anyone tell me about it?" Khushi asked him accusingly. She
might have been away enjoying the wedding but she made sure to call RM at least
twice a day and get every details regarding the baby and she felt hurt knowing they
had kept this big thing from her.
"You were not here and we didn't want to worry you. As it is you were coming back
today and Arushi was fine, just a little fever but fine anyway. Its just from the past
few hours that she's been crying continuously." Arnav explained calmly. It was him
who had stopped Anjali from informing Khushi about Arushi's health. He didn't want
to trouble her when she was enjoying with her friends.
"Didn't want to worry me? Really now? Arnav I went there just because everyone
asked me to do so and they promised me to tell everything related to the baby. I was
away, yes, I was enjoying my time there but Arushi and her health means a more lot
to me than that little happy time i was spending there. I.. I.." Khushi chocked on her
words as she tried to say further. She was very close with the baby and she couldn't
take the fact that they didn't find it necessary to let her know about her having high
fever. And what did he say? just a little fever? How can he say that so simply?
Arnav fisted his fingers and sighed loudly. He knew she cared for the baby but he felt
as though she was over-reacting. However he kept that thought to himself, knowing
well she would be more hurt or angry even if he says that out aloud. "I should have
let you known or asked Di to inform you about it, sorry." He said softly, not wanting
to extend this any further.
"Did you have a doctor to check her? Has the doctor prescribed any medicine?" She
asked getting a bit normal.
"Yes, the doctor said its nothing to worry and a baby does fall ill at this time as its
their growing period and she will have some changes as she is soon being three
month old. And yes, she has given a medicine too. Baby has taken it already but she
was crying very much so I thought she misses you and brought her here as Di told me
you're back in the evening." He explained.
"Good." She said sternly on the last part making Arnav feel like he was a student and
his teacher had just approved his explanation.
"I have got her medicine, you need to give it in the morning after she drinks her milk.
And all the other thing which she would need for a night - diaper, extra pair of
clothes, milk powder, bottle, everything is in that bag too." He said pointing to the
bag lying on the table which she had not noticed before.
"Okay, thank you." She said, still a little crossed at him.
Khushi patted Arushi's back softly swaying her in her arms, trying to make her sleep.
Arnav watched as the baby closed her eyes slowly into her Maasi's arms and his heart
swelled up seeing her pretty face which had a hint of smile on it. Seeing her crying
the whole evening had him all worried but now as she was peacefully sleeping in
Khushi's arms he felt the knot on his heart soothe away. He looked at Khushi's face
and all he could see was a sense content for having the baby in her arms and just for
once he thought maybe he had taken the decision too fast, maybe he should have
given a thought to Khushi's words regarding the baby and their marriage but he soon
shrugged that thought away. He couldn't do the same mistake again, she might not
be made because of the love between her parents but his baby meant more than the
world to him still he couldn't think of marrying anyone just for her sake. Khushi was
fine just as her maasi, he should really stop his treacherous heart from giving wrong
hopes and ideas!
________
"I should leave now." He said softly. He was in Khushi's room, standing by the door,
looking how Khushi made his angel sleep and secured her with pillows and cushions.
Khushi stood up and looked around before walking to him. "You can stay here Arnav.
It's already too late and your baby is ill, I guess it'd be better if you stayed back with
her." Khushi said quietly making Arnav nod in approval. She thought he would
protest but seeing him simply agree, she felt relieved.
"You look torn up, shall I make you some coffee?" Khushi offered seeing Arnav
rubbing his tired eyes.
He looked at her in surprise. "Coffee at this time?" He asked only to make sure he
heard her right. She nodded as a yawn left her mouth, it was her who needed the
coffee actually. "No, I am fine. You should sleep Khushi, you look very tired."
Khushi let out a soft chuckle at his words. He was talking about being tired? Really? "
You are the one who is more tired Arnav, you should be the one to sleep. I will look
after Arushi don't worry." She saw he was coming up with something to say but she
didn't want any argument at that moment so she reminded him something which he
had told her just two weeks back, leaving no place for him to say anything. "You are a
busy man Arnav, you have a company to look after. You know you would have to go
to work tomorrow and I am sure you would not want your staffs to waste their time
wondering the reason for their boss's messed up form and red tired eyes instead of
doing their work. I stay at home the whole day and I can take a nap any time I want
but that's not the same for you, so just sleep!"
Arnav opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish trying to form a answer but
nothing came to his mind. "Okay, goodnight!" He finally said and walked to the
couch only to be stopped again.
"You can sleep in the other room, sleeping on the couch might not be very
comfortable."
"No, I will be fine on the couch." He said not wanting to go to the other room. If he
was staying there for the baby, he should stay on the same room as her' or else what's
the point on him being there, he thought.
"Okay then take the bed." Khushi said which sounded more like an order. "I am not
sleeping anyway so couch would be perfect for me. Good night, Arnav." She added
before he could protest and walked towards the kitchen to make herself some coffee.
If she was staying up all night, she sure as hell needed the coffee to keep her heavy
lids open!
________
Khushi woke up the next morning to her father shaking her gently. She woke up with
a jerk and walked to the bed to see if Arushi was fine. She was still sleeping peacefully
but Arnav was nowhere to be seen so she walked back to her father who was looking
up at her in confusion.
"When did she come here? Who brought her here?" Sashi asked as Khushi walked
towards him.
"Arnav brought her last night. She had high fever, which I am sure you knew about,
and Arnav said she had been crying the whole evening, so he brought her here later
at night." She answered looking sharply at her father.
Sashi shifted from a foot to other at his daughter's accusing words. Yes, he did know
about Arushi having fever but on Arnav's saying he also had kept the truth from
Khushi. "Yes, I did know that. So Arnav dropped her here and went back?" He asked
shifting topic.
"No, he stayed back as well. He was here until 6, he was sleeping when baby woke up.
I fed her milk and made her sleep again. I guess I also fell asleep after that. Maybe he
woke up later and found us all sleeping so he left for RM." She stated. She didn't
know when she fell asleep or for how long she slept, however she felt fresh then and
she was happy with it.
________
It was almost evening and Khushi was sitting in the living room chatting away with
Anjali while Arushi lied on the sofa between her Bua and Maasi, playing with the tiny
bangle which she wore on her left hand. Anjali wanted to take baby back to RM but
Khushi was reluctant to leave her. She had missed Arushi very much while she was
away and with baby being sick, Khushi didn't want to be away from her. Arushi was
much better now, her temperature had gone down and she was not even crying but
Khushi surely didn't want to take any chances regarding the baby so she stood on her
decision of keeping the baby with her. Anjali sighed helplessly but she was also happy
seeing the love Khushi had for the little one, so giving into Khushi's wish she got up
to leave.
"I will get her home when she is fully fine, Di." Khushi said apologetically.
"I just hope she gets well soon, we can't stay away from her for very long." Anjali
smiled looking at the baby fondly, who in return flashed a small smile to her Bua.
________
Closing the door Khushi was just about to walk to the sofa where the baby was placed
when the bell rang making her walk back and open the door. Khushi was surprised to
see Arnav there, not that she didn't expect him to be there, but seeing him back from
work was kind of strange. She smiled a bit and gave him way to walk in and he went
straight to his baby not before returning her smile. Picking the baby in his arms he
kissed her on her chubby little cheeks and asked him how she was feeling in a baby
tone. Arushi smiled at her father and snuggled into his chest as she always did.
"She doesn't have fever since morning." Khushi said as she stood before them.
"She actually seems so fresh today. Thank you, Khushi!" Arnav exclaimed genuinely
just to see Khushi scrunch her face.
"What exactly are you thanking me for? For how much I care for her? Or for loving
her?" She snapped.
"Umm no, I am not thanking you for either of the things. I know you love her and
care for her, I was thanking you for being her for her, with her. After my wedding,
you had .. uhh .. gone away, thank you for leaving everything there and coming back
to m.. uhh the family. We all really needed you here." He said, his voice soft and
genuine.
Khushi melted at his words. Never had she thought he would actually say that to her,
say her that he appreciated her return and presence. Her heart warmed at those
words and then she felt the similar feeling, the racing of her heartbeat. They might
have separated for a little while in-between but it had been long enough since they
were together, however her heart wouldn't miss skipping a beat or going all dhak-
dhak whenever he was near her or he said something warm, something sweet to her.
"I.. I belong here Arnav, I had to come back anyway. It was silly of me to run away
from things, but now I know, this is where I belong ..with papa, with yo.. uh
everyone!" Khushi replied.
Arnav wanted to say more, much more on what she had just said but he held back.
He knew where things would head to if he started speaking his heart out and he was
not ready to go there, not yet, so he chose to stay mum just giving her a small smile.
He sat on the sofa with the baby on his lap while Khushi stood there looking at him.
"You wanna say something?" He asked after a while seeing her still standing before
him, awkwardly fiddling with the end of her dupatta.
"Uh yes." She said and also nodded her head as if giving extra emphasis on the 'yes'.
Arnav waited for her to say something but she stayed silent making him look up at
her and raise an eyebrow questioningly.
"Umm Arnav.. woh.."
"Khushi if you are again starting with the marriage talks, please hold it right there. I
have said enough on it and want to further discussion." He stated firmly. He was not
sure if thats what she wanted to talk about but seeing her so confused he guessed that
was what he wanted to have a word on.
"No it's not about that, it has nothing to do with it. Yes, its about you and me, but it
has nothing to do with the letter or marriage or anything. You have taken your
decision and I respect it, I understand you don't want yo go through that phase again
and I will not force you either. I.. uh.. I just wanted to ask that.." Khushi trailed
finding it hard to say what she wanted to.
"What did you want to ask, Khushi??"
"I was thinking.. uh.. canwebefriendsagain?" She asked hurriedly while Arnav looked
at her with a "what the" look on his face.
"Come again??" He demanded not understanding a bit of what she just blabbered.
Khushi took a long breath. Yes, she could ask him. She will ask him. She gathered all
her courage, took a long breath and asked calmly with her fingers crossed. " Can we
be friends again, Arnav? Can we start fresh forgetting everything? We were best
friends during college days, can we try going back to being the same? "
________________________
There, Khushi asked for it! But what will Arnav's answer be? Will he agree for the
friendship or will he give her a cold shoulder yet again?
Do hit the like button and leave in your reviews!

For PMs, kindly buddy Muffins.Rose
Thank you
Rhea
Chapter 7
Arnav's mind numbed at her words and his form stiffened. He adjusted the baby on
his lap and loosened his tie as those words kept playing and replaying on his mind.
Khushi who was looking at him expectantly saw this change in his demeanor and her
heart broke a little. Has she done so much of damage to him that he can't even think
of being friends with her again, she thought.
On the other hand, Arnav was in deep thoughts too. How innocently she had asked if
they could be friends again, if the could start all over again, with her eyes full of hope,
but can they really be friends again? Can they start afresh forgetting every bitter
things that passed between them? Yes, they surely could, he knew the answer, but
was he ready? He knew just friendship is harmless and that would lighten the dark
clouds between them which was actually good, however, he was not sure if they
should get at it already.
"Just friendship Arnav, I swear I will not ask for more. You might think maybe I am
up to something, but trust me its not like that. I will not try doing anything or force
you to do things which you don't want to. I just want so work things between us so
that we can at least behave normally with each other without any oddness." Khushi
added and awaited patiently for his reply but none came. She saw the fleeting
emotions in his face and understood she had asked for too much, she was once again
rushing things and he was just not ready. She sighed in disappointment inwardly and
looked up at him plastering a small smile on her face. "I guess I asked for too much
that too very soon, I am sorry Arnav." She said. Yes, her apology was genuine. She
had promised she would win his trust without rushing things and she would do just
that!
"No!" He suddenly exclaimed breaking his silence and the thought process.
No? What no? Was he clearly denying for the whole being friends thing? Or..??
"You don't have to apologize Khushi, I understand what you mean. We were way
closer in the past and now being like this, almost like strangers is difficult, it hurts, I
know! But what you have to understand is I need some time. Don't get me wrong, I
am not shutting this whole thing. Trust me we will be friends but all I am saying is I
need some time. This all is very difficult for me too Khushi. We were close,
inseparable and suddenly you were gone leaving me all alone with someone who was
not totally a stranger but was not somebody I knew too and now you are again back
after all this time and its hell of a thing for me to cope up with. To say it in simple
words, you know what you mean to me Khushi but you must know things are not at
all the same anymore, my life currently is a mess and I need time to sort things out.
Are you getting me? Do you understand what I mean?" He asked running his hand
through his perfectly gelled hair. Why is it so difficult for him to be vocal of his
feelings, why cant he just share what he has in his mind or heart like other people
do?
Khushi listened to what he had to say intently, she was clearly understanding the
depth of his words. She could see he was trying his best to open his heart out and at
that moment what he was doing meant more than anything else to her. He was
trying, trying his best to be as open and normal as possible and that was enough for
her. "I am sorry for everything Arnav, I know I am solely responsible for everything
that's happened to you." She said looking down. Oh how she wished she could
reverse things!
"I meant it when I said you don't have to apologize Khushi and don't feel so down of
yourself. You are not the only one responsible for all that's happening. We all are
responsible in a way or other and it was me who had ruined things fully. Had it not
been for THAT night, things would have been a little less complicated." He sighed as
he held his little angel possessively. Yes, he regretted that one night, he loathed
himself for coming back so drunk that night, but if the punishment of that mistake
was this beautiful angel who was sleeping in his arms, he loved his little punishment!
A lot was said in that single statement and neither of them wanted to extend the
conversation any longer. Khushi was happy getting the slight insight of Arnav
whereas Arnav somewhere felt a bit light after letting out those things. He might be a
man of few words but he always confined Khushi when he had anything to share, that
gave him relief, and today was no exception.
_____________
Khushi walked in with a cup of black coffee only to see him still busy with the phone
call. Before Khushi or Arnav could say anything to end the conversation they were
having, they got interrupted as Arnav's phone rung up. Khushi had excused herself
with an excuse of getting coffee for him mentally thanking the caller. She placed the
coffee on the table before him and by his talks figured out his official call had ended
and now it was Anjali he was talking to. She went to the other end of the sofa where
the baby was sleeping and sat my her side caressing her forehead softly.
"Di said you have hijacked my baby." Arnav said, a small smirk playing on his lips.
Khushi gasped at his words. Hijack? "I don't call it as a hijack, but if wishing to be
with her all the time till gets fully well is called a hijack, then be it!" She exclaimed
with her head high.
"This arrangement cant work, Khushi." He said suddenly getting serious making her
gulp.
What he mean by this can't work? Is he taking Arushi away from her? No, he cant to
that! Why would he do that?
"Hey Khushi, listen to what I am saying first, don't get your mind running marathon
just like that." He cut in breaking her chain of thoughts. She looked at him astound.
"How.."
"Your face, it still tells a lot about you." He simply said.
She flushed at his words. One look of her and he could say what exactly was wrong
with her. No kidding!
"I understand you want Arushi to be with you all the time until she gets well, but I
want to be with her too Khushi. However juggling from here to home to office is very
difficult for me, so I was wondering if we could change this arrangement. Why don't
you come stay in RM for some days till Arushi is fully well? In that way you can be
with her and I can be near her too." He explained.
Khushi mentally slapped herself for thinking just anything when he was just talking
about some arrangements. But staying in RM? "Arnav how can I.."
"You sure can Khushi. You used to come there every day for the baby so why cant you
stay there for few nights?"
Khushi thought about it for a while. He was right, she could do that. She can't be
selfish keeping the baby herself, Arushi was his baby girl and he should get to be
around her and that was easy only if she goes to RM with them.
"Okay." She said making him smile a bit before leaving him to finish his coffee while
she packed her bag.
_____________
It had been a few days that Khushi had been staying at RM. Arushi was completely
fine now and Khushi was insisting on going back home but Nani and Anjali were just
not ready to let her go. Anjali liked having a company like Khushi around while Nani
could see her bahu's wish fulfilling, however she knew that would not happen any
time soon. She knew her grand son very well, he was not even in the state to think
about getting involved with someone, let alone making that happen for real. Khushi
was also enjoying her stay there, being around the people who love you and adore
you is something everyone loves and wishes for still she knew staying with them for
too long wont be good. So it was decided that she would go back to her home after
some days but till the time she was there, she made sure she enjoyed every second of
her stay. Within these days that Khushi had been staying in RM, it was not only the
little angel's health that had improved, Arnav's and Khushi's relation had become a
little better as well. Arnav had not accepted the friendship terms yet but the
uneasiness which was seen between them had become less. They would often be seen
together playing with the baby and loving her, exchanging quick words with the
other. Khushi was much happy with the changes, she could finally see a little hint of
old Arnav in him while Arnav on the other hand was feeling content as well. Being
able to be normal before or with Khushi really was a big thing for him and it
obviously meant a lot.
_____________
Khushi was in Arnav's room searching for the baby's anklet which had slipped off her
tiny foot. Some relatives had come last afternoon among which one of them had
gifted Arushi those anklets and made her wear it immediately. It was a bit bigger for
her foot but Arushi had just loved the ornament so much that she didn't let anyone
take it off her, she cried whenever Khushi or Anjali even tried to do so. Nani was
massaging Arushi's hands and feet with baby oil like she always does when Khushi
realized Arushi had anklet in one foot while the other was missing so she rushed to
Arnav's room where the baby had spent whole morning, in search of it before she
realizes its missing and starts crying. She searched every nook every corner of the
room properly but there was no sign of the ankle, she sighed hopelessly and turned
around just to see Arnav standing at the door looking at her.
Arnav didn't go to office these days, he was handling his work from home itself. He
didn't want to leave his baby angel when she was not feeling well. He wouldn't have
gone even today but he had an important meeting and the baby was fine too so he
had been to office for some hours to get done with the meeting. As soon as the
meeting was over he started for home and went to see his baby the first thing as he
was back. He was confused not seeing Khushi around but thinking she was in the
kitchen or somewhere he walked to his room to freshen up. He was even more
surprised to see Khushi in his room doing something, her back was turned to the
door so he couldn't see what she was doing exactly.
"Khushi?" He called out as their eyes met.
She smiled seeing him. "Done with the meeting?" She asked.
He nodded his head as a reply and walked in. "What are you doing here?" He asked.
"Woh actually I..." Khushi started but stopped immediately as she saw Arnav walk
towards her with his brows furrowed in confusion.
She followed his gaze and it was then her eyes fell upon the bowl placed carefully on
the table besides her. Its lid was covered, hiding its content.
"What's this?" She heard him ask but before she could reply he opened the lid only to
see the bowl full of gajar ka halwa.
Khushi's eyes twinkled as she smiled remembering how much he loved gajar ka
halwa. She smiled fondly as memories of their college days played on her mind of
how she used to make special sugar free halwa for him and brought in to college only
to feed him with her own hands. "You love gajar ka halwa very much na? I still
remember how I had taken classes from Anjali Di so that I could make it with my
own hands for you." She said with a small smile playing on her lips.
Arnav who was looking numbly at the bowl and her, flared his nose as he heard her.
He bridged the small gap between them and held her arms in a tight grip. "What the
hell Khushi?" He demanded.
Khushi looked into his raging eyes with confusion written all over her face. What was
wrong with him? He didn't like her talking about the past? Or was it something else?
"Arnav what.." she tried to ask but his hold on her tightened, his nails dug into her
skin and she winced in pain but he just didn't care.
"Don't Khushi, just don't. What the f**k is wrong with you? What are you trying to
do? You promised me you wont play these silly games again Khushi, then why? Why
the f**k are you doing this? After our conversation, I thought things between us are
getting better, I was happy that you understood me and was willing to give me time
to think if nothing else we can at least share the bond of friendship but I was wrong.
So bloody wrong!" He hissed through gritted teeth.
"Arnav.." she said in a low painful voice as tears rolled down her cheeks. She now
understood what was wrong, he thought she had made that halwa but that was not
true. However, the lump formed in her throat didn't let her explain herself and she
sobbed silently seeing how he didn't have any bit of trust on her. But he was not to be
blamed for it, was he? It was her who had caused so much of pain to him that he now
feared of even a scratch.
Arnav felt a pang in his heart seeing her cry but that did nothing to calm his anger, in
fact it angered him even more. There was no way he was letting her tears affect him,
not anymore!
"Why do you always have to do this Khushi? Give me a slightest of hope and break
that into million and zillion of pieces? Why do you always want to rush things? What
did you think? You would make me favorite sweet dish, remind me of good old days
and I will come running to you and saying I am ready to re-live that time, that
friendship? If that was what you thought then you are wrong Khushi Gupta, so
f**king wrong. After this..." he had to stop his sentence in between as he heard
footsteps nearing his room which meant someone would come there soon. He didn't
want anyone to see him with Khushi like this so loosening his hold on her he pushed
her away and took long breaths to calm himself down.
"Chote!" Anjali called out just as she entered his room.
Khushi who had wiped away the tears looked up to see Anjali and tried her best to
mask the hurt and fake a smile at which she was successful.
"Arre Khushi what are you doing here?" Anjali asked as she walked towards them.
Khushi turned to look at Arnav who had his eyes all for his sister and sighed
inaudibly. "Di actually I was looking for Arushi's anklet. It was big na so its slipped
off her foot. She was here all morning so I thought it must be somewhere here but I
guess I was wrong. Its nowhere to be seen here." She explained, her eyes never
leaving Arnav's form.
"Oh it was here only, it had fallen near the bed. I saw it when I came here to keep
Chote's sugarless halwa here so I took it with me. I just gave it to Nani, she must have
made Arushi wear it already." Anjali said.
Arnav's eyes shot up to meet Khushi's as he heard his sister. So it was her who made
the halwa and not Khushi? His jaws hardened at the realization and he thinned his
lips, angry at himself for not giving her a chance to explain herself. He saw Khushi
struggle to hold her tears before Anjali and his fingers fisted, his nails digging into
his palm hurting himself for hurting Khushi with his words and action.
"And Chote, I guess you've already seen your favorite halwa. Nani wanted me to
make my special halwa as I had not made it in a long time. I didn't want the sugar
free one to mix in with the one with sugar like the last time, so I separated it and kept
it here in your room itself." Anjali chuckled remembering how Arnav couldn't have
the sweet last time she made it as someone had already eaten it before he was back
home from work and he could do nothing but sulk.
"Chalo Khushi lets go down, after all you need to taste it and tell me if I still make it
better than your's." Anjali teased.
"Your's would surely be tastier than mine Di. Like always." Khushi said with a small
smile. She still remembered how she used to complain every time that Anjali's halwa
was always tastier than hers no matter how much ever she tried to make it just like
the one Anjali made.
"Come!" She said and walked ahead and Khushi followed her in a row.
"Khushi." They heard Arnav call her just as they reached the door.
"I will see you downstairs." Anjali said with a smile and walked down completely
unknown to what had passed there before her entry.
"Khushi.." Arnav said again as he stood before here, struggling hard to find the
appropriate words to explain his outburst.
"It's okay Arnav, you don't have to say anything. I know I have hurt you. A lot! It
must be very difficult for you to trust me even a little bit and believe me I don't blame
you at all." She smiled looking up at him and continued. "Seeing me around you, with
your baby, in this house all the time might not be easy for you after what all I have
put you through. Kaanch ke tarah chubhte honge hum aapke aankhon mein." she
blinked her eyes to stop her tears. "I might be asking too much from you but please
Arnav do me a favor. I know you can't trust me but can you at least try? Just once,
please! You don't know how bad and guilty I feel seeing you like this Arnav, trust me
it huts a lot. I am hurting as much as you Arnav or even more, so please, for once just
try to forgive me for all my mistakes and try to believe me. I meant every words I
said, I actually want to be just your friend and help you come out of your grief. I am
not trying anything else or playing any games, neither am I expecting much from
you. You know I love you, I have always loved you in spite of whatever I had said or
done in the past but all I want is to be your friend and nothing more. I want to be that
friend to whom you can come in your highs and lows, with whom you can share
anything and everything. You have hidden a lot inside you Arnav and even though
you don't say it aloud, I know its hurting you, I want you to be able to share those
things with me. I have always hurt you, I know, I have always broken your trust but
please Arnav, if possible please give me a chance." She completed as tears flowed
uncontrollably from her eyes.
"Khushi, I am sorry. I know I said a lot but trust me I didn't mean it, it just came out
in anger. Seeing you here in my room with that bowl by your side, I just lost it. I don't
know why but I just can't control my anger these days and say everything that comes
in my mind even when I know I don't actually mean what I say." He explained. He
couldn't let her feel bad for something she was not responsible for.
"It's okay Arnav, you don't have to be sorry. You freshen up and uhh enjoy your
favorite gajar ka halwa." She said with a small smile and tried to walk away but his
words stopped her.
"I can't." She heard him say and she was confused.
"Why? You love gajar ka halwa and.."
"Yeah, gajar ka halwa is my favorite but I can't eat unless I feed you the spoon first.
Bhool gayi kya, that was the rule we had set." He said smiling softly at her.
Her eyes widened hearing him. Does that mean???
"Will you be my friend Khushi, my best-est friend? Again?" He asked forwarding a

hand in her direction.
Khushi couldn't believe her ears. Did he just... Oh hell, he did! Tears of happiness
rolled down her cheeks as she extended her own hand and joined his and nodded her
head vigorously saying soft "yes".
A tear rolled down Arnav's cheeks and he pulled Khushi into a tight hug where she
sobbed softly. They closed their eyes feeling content as a warm feeling seeped into
their system. They were friends again, like the old time and that meant a lot to both
Arnav and Khushi.
Things surely was getting better now!
__________________________
Hello there lovely people!

Sorry for making ya'll wait for this chapter so long but I had to add so many things,
emotions and what not into this chappy and it was really one difficult chapter to
come up with. Hope it was worth the wait.
And yayy!! Arnav and Khushi are friends again!
Please hit the like button and leave in your comments.
Thank you
Chapter 8
It was late in the evening and Khushi was in Arnav's room with Arushi laid in the bed
watching her Maasi who was angry, very very angry. Khushi was muttering stuffs
now and then complaining how careless her father is making Arushi look and her
intently and smile.
"Baby when your father comes back home, we will not talk to him, okay?" Khushi
said with a pout while Arushi clapped her tiny chubby hands and giggled as if saying
she in the plan.
Leaning down Khushi kissed the palm of both of her hands and placing pillows and
cushions around her - to protect her from rolling and falling from the bed - she
walked to the poolside to get to the guestroom to get a blanket for Arushi. Stepping
out she took a long breath and the fresh air filled into her lungs refreshing her a bit as
the happenings of past few months cane rushing into her mind. Right were those
people who said time flies, she thought. Time indeed flies and if you are having a
good time it seems like it flies even faster. It had been eight months that Arnav and
Khushi became friends again and these eight months had passed within a blink of an
eye. With all the awkwardness, aloofness and resistance between them gone and then
bonding again, with Anjali and Nani being tremendously happy with their new
bloomed friendship and with Arnav being somewhere like the old Arnav he used to
be, those eight months was a happy affair for RM! Everything had become the same
as it was years back when they were best of friends, the only difference was - they
now had matured up. But no matter how mature they were, they still teased each
other and fought in silly matters endlessly while the rest looked at them awed. Oh,
how good they looked together! Arushi on the other hand was happiest of all, she
was being loved and pampered by her dad and Maasi at the same time - which never
happened before - and she liked this new change. The eight months might had
passed quickly buy each day had one or the memory attached to it which was enough
to be cherished for a life time!
*
After three back to back meetings, Arnav finally came to him cabin and took a long
breath. That was tiring; he thought and massaged the back of his neck as his eyes fell
on the time. Damn, he thought, his eyes widened and he sprang up standing on his
heels. Running frustrated fingers through his hair he rushed out of his cabin to the
exit directly, chanting "Aaj toh tu gaya beta!" mentally as he thought about his
conversation with Khushi this morning.
"You are always busy Arnav; you have work to do every time. Arushi gets scared
there, she cries when she is injected and she would love to have her father with her in
such times." Khushi said in a low voice.
"I know what you are saying, Khushi. I am sorry I have been really careless. I will try
my best to be there in the evening." Arnav said getting her point.
"Hmm you always say that but never make it."
"Today I will be there, I promise!" He said with a reassuring smile.
Arushi was to be taken to the hospital for some check up and vaccination today.
When Khushi had said about it in the morning he had said he would accompany
them - like he did every time - promising her so. But he being him - the famous
workaholic, forgot about it completely as he busied himself with works. He walked
hurriedly inside RM only to see his Di and Nani seated in the living room that gave
him a disapproving nod and wished him luck which amused him even more. He took
a sharp breath preparing himself for Khushi's outburst and stepped into his room
only to see his daughter lying on his bed playing with her anklets, alone.
"Hello baby." Arnav greeted his daughter kissing on her either cheeks making Arushi
run her chubby hands on his cheeks. "Sorry papa couldn't come with you to the
hospital." He kissed her palms apologizing as his eyes searched for Khushi.
Loosening his tie, he took off his coat and hung them in the hanger while he scanning
around the room to get a glimpse of Khushi.
Khushi and playing with little Arushi, complaining about her father's carelessness
when she saw that baby's eye lulling. Checking the time she thought waiting for
Arnav would be a bad idea, so she went to the guest room to get Arushi's blanket.
When she walked back inside Arnav's room, she was surprised to see Arnav there
looking here and there as if looking for something or rather someone.
"Searching for something?" She asked as she walked stepped towards the bed.
"Umm... Hi Khushi!" Arnav said smiling brightly.

"Oh wow you remember my name? I thought you must have forgotten about it just
like you forget other things." Khushi breathed out, draping little Arushi with the
blanket.
"I am sorry okay, I was busy."
"You are always busy Arnav, tell me something new!"
"Khushi, I know you are angry and I am sorry but please stop being sarcastic now."
Arnav took a deep breath.
Boy this is not going to be easy at all!
"Baby, we are not talking to papa, okay? You sleep my good baccha, go to sleep."
Khushi said to the baby completely ignoring Arnav.
Little Arushi didn't know what exactly was happening there but her father was
making really funny faces and her Maasi was ignoring him completely which made
the little one giggle. She clapped her hand cheerfully, sleep now gone away from her
eyes.
"Arushi baby is not sleepy anymore." Arnav said sitting on the other side of the bed.
"Khushi..." he called out placing his hand over her only to earn a smack and he
pouted.
"Arushi baby, tell you father I am not talking to him." Khushi still had her eyes all for
Arushi whereas Arnav's eyes were all for Khushi and her cute gestures. He bit his
tongue to hold back his chuckle.
"Khushi as much as I would love to hear my baby speak, you have to understand she
is too small to deliver such long sentence." He finally let out a small chuckle and
stopped abruptly when Khushi looked at him sternly.
"Baccha we are angry right?? Tell your father to go away and work some more."
"Arre yaar Khushi let it go now. I am really sorry ab maaf bhi kar do." Arnav said
pleadingly. As much as he would like to play that cute little game with Khushi, he
wanted to talk to her...properly!
"Forgive you?? Hmmm..." she trailed as if thinking of something. "Okay, we will

forgive you but in one condition." Khushi added with stern smile.
"Anything! Tell me any condition, I will agree to it just end this all." He said with a
relief but seeing the evil smile spread on Khushi's lips he was not sure what was
coming up.
"Okay so you will be forgiven...forgiven if you make us some jalebis." Khushi said
with a wide smile.
"What? No! Baby can't eat jalebi,she is too small..."
"Par baby ki maasi toh nahi hai naa. Now stop making excuses and go Arnav make
jalebis for us. It is homemade so baby can taste a little too to see her father's cooking
skill." Khushi chirped.
Arnav looked at her horrified but seeing the excitement on her face, he mellowed
down. This is not the first time that he is going to make jalebis, he made it a lot
during their college days so why not. again?
"Okay, I will make some jalebis for you and after that you will talk to me properly...
deal?" He asked with a smirk. He was a businessman after all; he will have to take
sure words before doing anything.
"Deal, now go!!" Khushi smacked her lips together and the baby also somewhere
followed the similar expression making Arnav smile before running downstairs.
Arnav Singh Raizada in the kitchen. Wow, this could be in the paper next day had
there been any media around! He chuckled at his thought and swiftly walked down
the stairs but stopped midway as he saw Sashi Gupta in the living room in some deep
conversation with his Nani and Di.
"Good evening, uncle!" He called out from the stairs and walked towards them.
He noticed whatever conversation they were having was interrupted but the next
thing that caught his attention was how they all acted. They all were acting as if they
were caught and were suddenly trying their best to hide their discomfort.
"Good evening, Arnav. How's work? I heard work is keeping you quite busy these
days." Sashi said roaming his eyes around Nani and Anjali before stilling it on Arnav.
Arnav found it quite odd but chose to ignore. He was in a very good mood to think
anything else. "Yes, we are launching a new venture so busy with it. Anyway, excuse
me you all, someone has assigned me a task of a chef." He shook his head as a
chuckle escaped his throat making the three faces break into big faces. He gave them
a final smile and walked towards the kitchen leaving the three content faces behind.
"I hope everything will go well." Anjali finally spoke up and the two nodded their
head in agreement as they got back into the conversation that was interrupted.
________________________________
Arnav and Khushi are now getting normal and closer. Where do you see their
relationship going now?
What were Nani, Anjali and Sashi talking about and why did they stop as soon as
Arnav came?
Any guesses??
Will try to update by Sunday.
See you then lovelies.
Rhea.
:)
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
It had been a week after "the" talk and Khushi was in full on-ignore-Arnav-Singh-
Raizada-as-much-as- you-can mode. Thinking of the reason behind it? Well there
was no big reason, it all started with Khushi being pissed at him for not reacting till
him teasing her saying her khushi ke din (happy days) were soon going to end. She
didn't expect him to stop the whole marriage talk, but she wished him to react, if not
any drastic reaction she expected a little something but seeing him being so cool
about her killed her from within. Just to add more to it he had to come to her the
next day teasing her adding more to her disappointment making her ignore him to
the fullest and he didn't make any efforts either. Her father had almost fixed her
alliance with which she was not at all happy but seeing the excitement in Shashi she
didn't want to ruin it for it. Today she was feeling really low with the new changes
happening so she was in her room thinking about what her life had come to. She
didn't even go to RM, she just called Anjali and lied that she was a bit busy. Khushi
sat on the edge of her bed as she thought how some years back she was planning a
life with Arnav and now she has come to a point where she would have to move
forward and live a life where Arnav would be nowhere close to her. The thought itself
was very depressing for her. Tears rolled down her cheeks as reality hit her and she
realized this time she was having was her last with Arnav, after this she could never
see Arnav in that way because that would be so wrong. But can she move on that
easily, will her heart forget him and accept someone else in his place? She was so
busy in her thoughts that she didn't even realize that Arnav was there and was
standing before her, observing her for a long time now.
"So what have you decided, Khushi?" His voice boomed into the room startling her.
She wiped her eyes and faced up to meet his eyes.
"A gentleman should knock the door before entering into any girl's room." She
complained.
"Not if she is your best friend." He said confidently as he stepped towards her.
"Anyway, that was not the answer to my question. Tell me Khushi, what have you
decided?" He asked as he continued moving towards her making her step backward.
"I don't know Arnav, I am confused. But..." She trailed feeling odd talking to him on
this matter.
"But..?" He asked as he raised a brow at her.
"But dad really wants it so maybe I should just accept this proposal. Dad will be
happy, Nani, Di, y-you and everyone else will be happy." She said giving him a
helpless smile.
He smirked at her as he pinned her to the wall. "I will be happy. Ahan, really? That's
what you think?"
"Wont you?" she asked as her eyes suddenly twinkled with a tad bit of hope.
"Umm hmm...I knew this, I so knew this. So THIS was your plan, isn't it? You had
planned it all!" He asked making her eyes to widen up.
"What? Ar-Arnav... What are you saying? What plan?" Khushi asked. Her eyes
started welling up as she realized what he was pointing at.
"You know what exactly I am talking about, don't you? So tell me Khushi, why did
you do this? Why are you doing this to me? Why are you playing all these games?" He
asked looking at her with hurtful eyes and her heart broke into million pieces seeing
him doubt at her.
Khushi stood their numb, looking blankly into his eyes. In all these months she
thought her and Arnav's friendship was getting back on track but was that just her
misconception? Did he still think so low about her?
"You wanted me to feel bad knowing you are going to marry someone else and
coming running to you, right? You wanted me here, before you, stopping this shit
and assuring you that you are mine and nobody else can ever even think about
having you as their wife? So it's worked Khushi, your plan is successful. Here I am,
before you, speaking my heart out to you. Me being crazy needed a big shock and a
little push you see." He said with a small smile playing on his lips. Khushi was still
reeling with his accusation to register what he was saying but the little teasing hint in
his voice didn't go unnoticed by her.
"I know me being a fool took a long time to say this and this could really have cost me
a lot but khair abhi akkal aa gayi toh thik hai, better late than never. So Ms. Khushi
Gupta, here I say you these three words again and this time with a promise of always
being together, forever and beyond. I love you Khushi, I have always loved you. Even
when you forced me to marry Muskaan, or when I was all broken after her death or
when I was all very angry at with for you saying about marrying me for Muskaan's
last wish sake, even when we were having the odd time or in the days when we tried
getting to our old days, I have always loved you. I was a fool not to say it aloud but
now I can't take you for granted, let me just make you mine before uncle brings in
some clown into the picture." He said with a chuckle making Khushi giggle along
with him while her eyes brimmed with happy tears.
He moved forward and cupped her face kissing her on her cheeks before wiping away
her tears. "What? Was this proposal so bad that you are crying?" He asked with a
pout making her run into his arms. She sobbed into his chest while he caressed her
hair whispering sweet nothings into her ear as his broke into a huge contended smile.
After a long time she pulled out of his warm embrace and looked up to meet his eyes
to find it already looking at her lovingly. "All this seems like a dream to me. I always
wished for this day to come but I had lost all the hopes." She said as fresh tears
welled up in her eyes.
"This is like a dream for me as well Khushi. I always loved you, my heart knew it but I
never thought this day would come where I would once again come to you confessing
about my love. Maybe I was too scared or what it was I don't know but now that after
acting hard all this time I have let out my feelings for you, I feel light and very-very
happy. I was an idiot for waiting for this long but uncle coming to RM and saying all
that was really an eye opener and I realized how selfish I was. I was happy having you
around me but never ever thought that I could lose you in that way." He concluded
softly making her smile at him. She just couldn't believe they were having this talk
and what she always wished for was finally being fulfilled. But suddenly she
remembered the words he uttered after he had come, his accusation came playing in
her mind, wiping away the smile and bring in a frown.
She slapped and punched him on his chest suddenly taking him by surprise. "Whoa,
shaant bodybuilder, shaant. That hurts!" he exclaimed holding her hands into his.
"First, I am not any bodybuilder. See how tiny my arms are." She pouted showing
him her arms before continuing, "and secondly, you accused me for playing games
with you." She hmphed and folded her arms onto her chest.
"Oh that was nothing, ignore it. Had I come here and straightaway said that I love
you, it would not have been this interesting; it would have been a boring proposal. So
I was just adding some salt and spices." He winked at her making her shower
punches at him once again.
He smiled at her antics before stopping her by holding her hands and kissing it. He
then brought her hand to rest on his chest while he still held onto the other. "Feel it
beating?" he asked making her nod at him. "This is beating for you and because of
you. Today you have once again made me feel alive." He said truthfully making
Khushi blush profusely as her heart fluttered at his words. Can this moment be any
more beautiful?
"I love you." Was all she could manage to say before hugging him tight.
"I love you more." He mumbled against her hair and pulled her closer.
Khushi was sitting on the bed resting her back on the headrest while Arnav laid on
her lips, talking about different things. She ran her hand though his hair but
suddenly she remembered something and tried getting up hurriedly.
"What happened?" he asked lazily still not letting her get up.
"I have to go down and stop papa from finalizing the rishta. We have to tell him
about us, just imagine how happy he would be." Khushi clapped her hands excitedly,
trying to push him away so she could stand get up.
"Calm down baby, he is not looking any rishta for you anyway." He said getting more
comfortable. "And no we are not saying anyone about us, not just yet."
"What? Why? And how do you know that? Wait... Am I missing something?" she
showered him with questions, she couldn't understand a word he said.
"Yes baby, there was never any rishta. All this was actually a plan to make us...
specially me to think in a proper way and take a wise decision for us and our
relationship." He explained.
"What? A plan? How did you know about this?" she was more curious now. What the
hell is he going on about?
"Okay let me tell you from the first. Two days back when I was going to Di's room to
talk to jiju, I overheard the conversation going on between Nani and Di. Di was
explaining how seriously you were taking the matter and how I was acting
nonchalant and how they were disappointed with our reaction. Basically their plan
was to bring us closer by out this matter, they had thought I would stop them or you
would do anything but as we did nothing of that sort they were thinking of any other
way. "He explained in detail as a chuckle escaped his lips as he remembered his Di's
lunatic expression.
"Oh!" Khushi said as she processed the information. So all this was just a plan? All of
them are pretty good actors to pull up the act so perfectly, she thought. "Arnav??" she
called out after a while of silence.
"Hmm?"
"You're not doing this just to make them happy or by falling into their plan right?
You actually want me in your life and it has nothing to do anything with all this?" She
asked with an uncertainty in her voice.
Arnav startled by her question jerked up into a sitting position and cupped her
cheeks. "Hey!!" he said putting his finger below her chin and making her face upward
to meet his eyes. "Don't ever think in that way, Khushi. What we have between us
right at this moment has nothing to do with anyone or anything. Yes this matter gave
me something big to think about and I realized I was taking you for granted but my
coming her and the confession of my love is all the result of the fear of losing you. I
can't let you go far from me again. Trust me; this has nothing to do with their plan,
hell I had not even thought about Angel getting you as her mother. When uncle came
to RM saying about the rishta I was shocked, later hearing this was all just a plan
somehow calmed me down but I knew things can't always go this way and I didn't
take any more chances bas!" he said hoping he was able to clear her doubt.
Khushi was really overwhelmed hearing all these things and her mind was full of
different thing. She still couldn't believe her father along with Anjali and Nani could
come up with suck plan. She just moved closed and rested her head against his chest.
"I love you so much Khushi, just the thought of you marrying someone else was so
painful. I can't lose you again." He again added as he kissed her forehead.
"I love you too Arnav, I am sorry for putting you for so much. I know you were very
hurt but trust me I felt the same pain and now, even I can't stay away from you.
Thank you for coming. I love you so much." She said softly and kissed on his chest
right above his heart before hugging him once again and closing her eyes as she
heard to the most beautiful song; his heartbeat, which was beating only for her.
Arnav also closed his eyes and caressed her back as he thought how beautiful his life
has become just in some hours, he couldn't wait to have her by his side for the rest of
the life now!
__________________
Yes, Arnav didn't have any doubt on her, he was just pulling up an act before the real
thing.
I hope you guys are happy with this. I initially thought I should add up the part
where Arnav doubts on Khushi, but seeing all the comments on the teaser I changed
my mind and did a bit of denting painting somehow changing the track.
And once again, sorry for the late update guys but the thing is I have lost my phone.
:( As I used to write the updates on my phone, not having it is really making things
more worse for me but I will try my best to be up with the next chap soon.
Please leave in your reviews and hit the like button.
Take care until the next update lovelies.
Rhea
Chapter 11
It was a new morning and definitely was the beginning of a new and a very beautiful
phase of Khushi's life. A life which she had always dreamed of, where Arnav would
always be by her side. She wore a light yellow chudidaar with minimal makeup as she
got ready to go RM and walked down the stairs, her steps having an extra bounce
with the extreme happiness which she failed to contain within herself.
"Good morning, beta." Sashi greeted as he saw his daughter joining him in the
breakfast table.
"Good morning, papa!" She chirped taking a seat next to him.
"Arre wah! My daughter seems very happy today, anything special?" He asked, his
attention wholly on Khushi now.
Khushi slipped into last day's thought as she heard Sashi. Everything from now
onwards would be special in her life, she noted and smiled. "I just feel good this
morning papa, nothing else." She bluntly said grabbing a bread and applying nutella
to it.
Sashi observed his daughter for a while and got back to his plate. He didn't know the
reason for her happiness but he was very happy himself seeing Khushi that way.
"Oh, by the way papa, I had something important to discuss." Khushi took a bite of
her bread moaning slowly and the chocolaty taste hit her tongue. "About that
proposal you were talking about." She quickly added.
He looked at his daughter and nodded silently asking her to say what she wanted to
while he made himself ready to answer her issues.
"I can't marry him, papa." He heard her say, all the chirpiness now gone as she said
that. "He is a very good guy I agree and I also know you think he's the suitable one
for me, i don't doubt on your judgment at all but papa, I don't want to jump into the
first proposal itself. He might be good and what not but he surely is not he one for
me."
Sashi understood her concern. He knew couldn't marry him, scratch that, she
wouldn't marry anyone else because Arnav is the only one for her and they had to
work to make Arnav and Khushi realize that. He thought for a while before he turned
to look at her again. "I get your point Khushi, I will let them know your decision. But
what now? Have you thought of something?" He asked wanting to know how his
daughter felt about this whole finding her a life partner matter.
"Umm.. I don't know. I want to forget all that happened in the past and move
forward taking only the good memories with me. I know you want to see me settled
like every other father wants for their daughter, but you have to give me some time
papa. I promise, I will work on things and make you happy." Her eyes misted a bit as
she completed her sentence. She was feeling a bit guilty hiding such a big and
important thing from him. She knew how desperately he wanted to see her happy
and not just happy but happy with Arnav and now that it was finally happening, she
couldn't even let him know.
"You already make me happy sweetheart, you have no idea how proud you make me
feel." Sashi said, his voice heavy with emotions. He patted her head softly, leaning in
to kiss her forehead. Khushi closed her eyes listening to his gruff voice, a lone tear
escaping the corner of her eyes.
"I love you, papa." Khushi hugged him by the side as she mumbled "love you too
baby" in return. She couldn't wait to break in the big news to her father but that had
to wait for a while. Her father along with Anjali di and Nani had planned a game
against them and now they were playing along, just for a short time though. Both
Arnav and her couldn't wait to come out and let them know that their wishes have
come true, they were now together forever, never be apart!.
----
Nearly a week had passed and Sashi along with Anjali were working to make their
plan a success. Since Khushi had denied the proposal Sashi had initially talked about,
they were now collecting a bunch of photos and information about different guys to
present in front of Khushi and Arnav, the photos being of some of their distant
relatives whom the duo had never seen or Anjali's friend's brothers and many such
people. It was just a play pulled out anyway. They didn't actually have to search for a
groom who would be a perfect match for her, did they? No, not at all! All they wanted
was for Arnav and Khushi to realize they belong to each other and forgetting all the
past incidents they had to accept each other and move forward, together and happily.
That did seem like a very far away thing right now seeing how things were proceeding
but both Sashi and Anjali knew in their hearts that it might take time however they
would get there someday.
Meanwhile, the duo for whom their elder ones were doing all that for, were having
the time of their life. Forgetting all the bitter memories where Arnav was mad at her
or the past where they were not together, they had moved a lot forward in the span of
few days only, with their little angel by their side who only brought more happiness
in their lives. They did feel guilty seeing their family longing to see them together as
life partners but a bit of game from their side was also fair, wasn't it?
----
Devyani, Anjali and Sashi were seated comfortably in the living room sipping the
evening tea thinking about the things happening around them. They had expected
Arnav to jump in and stop all this wedding talks but they saw nothing of that sort
happening. In fact they noted that Arnav was more than calm from the last few days
and Khushi also didn't seem too sad over the whole matter as she had been before.
They all felt that was very strange and at the same time they were also a bit worried
seeing Arnav and Khushi like that. They were never serious about getting Khushi
married to someone else but seeing how the things were proceeding, they didn't
know what the future held for them.
Just then Arnav joined them taking one of the sofa adjacent to Sashi and to their
relief said something which they wanted to hear the most.
"I wanted to talk with you all about something. All this uh 'find a groom for Khushi'
task needs to stop." He said very seriously before continuing. "Khushi can't get
married. Not with any of those guys you people thought was good for her at least."
"Finally!" They all thought as they fought to hold back their smiles.
"But beta Khushi has agreed to go through the pictures and choose one one whom
she feels will be the best for her. Don't you think it'd be better if you left it for her to
decide?" Sashi asked, his faced donned with the same calm yet serious expression as
Arnav.
"I completely agree uncle and I have already talked her though this. She is more than
happy with me." He noticed them smiling wide and bit his tongue. That was not what
he was supposed to say. He very much meant it though! She was more than happy
with him. "Uh I mean she is happy my decision." He corrected feeling a bit guilty as
he saw the smile of their faces being replaced by a frown.
"What? What decision Chotte?" Anjali asked not understanding her brother's word
play.
"Di, do you remember Saurav? Saurav Jaiswal?" Arnav asked but continued without
waiting for her to answer. "He was our classmate - a very humble guy and he had
always liked Khushi so I think he will be the best for Khushi. I also talked to him this
morning and guess what, he said he is fine with it of you people are."
All the three were blank hearing Arnav. The photos they gave Khushi to see through
were random pictures, nothing much to it as they were just trying to instigate Arnav
and Khushi and push them together but Arnav has taken things to a whole different
and serious level. And also he already talked to the guy? How were they going to go
back from there? They can't really let things go like Arnav was planning, can they?
"But Arnav..." Shashi tried speaking but Arnav stopped him midway.
"No ifs no buts uncle. Khushi is very special to me and she has been through a
lot. All I want is her to be happy di, I would never do something to make her sad
again. You all have to trust me with this, I know what I am doing." He said sincerely,
his words all but making them more worried.
Things were slipping out of their hands. Their plan was backfiring. They need to
think of something and that too very soon.
Arnav saw their confusion etched faces and smirked inwardly. He did feel bad for
making them go through this but at the end every one of them were going to end
happy he knew. Good days are on its way, he promised.
After having a few more words over other general things, Arnav got up and excused
himself leaving them to ponder on the new change of event while he casually strolled
towards his room where two of his babies were waiting for him. He smiled thinking
of Khushi and her childish antics as he entered his room and saw them both look up
with beautiful smiles on their lips which tugged his heart. Will he ever get used to
this new changes, the new happiness which had suddenly come in his life? It'd take
time but its only happiness from now on, no place for any bitterness or so he noted.
Walking to the bed, he took his little angel in arms and kissed her button nose before
turning to her mumma and doing the same. Yes, mumma. That's what Khushi was to
the little one, she was her mother not maasi anymore.
"See baby, your mumma blushes a bit just with these small kisses. I wonder what she
would do if I do something else." Arnav said in a teasing tone making Khushi gasp
and hit his chest as she blushed a bit more hearing herself being addressed as
mumma. From the day Arnav came to her room and confessed his love for her again,
he had been going on with it but still every time she hears him doing so, she gets a
tingling sensation deep inside and her cheeks starts heating up. With time the
blushing habit will go, she said to herself. It had to, after all one day they will have
another little one calling her mumma, she thought.
"If you continue blushing with just these pecks on your nose, cheeks or forehead that
is never happening." She suddenly heard Arnav's voice very close to her ear and she
looked at him confused. "The little kisses won't make you pregnant you see." He
said in a way of explaining, his one eyebrow raised and a smirk playing on his lips.
Khushi's mouth formed an "O" seeing him read her mind so clearly like an open book
and she punched him on his chest again before leaning in and hiding her face there,
hugging him and Arushi who was still giggling seeing her father tease her mumma.
Arnav he held his two precious ones close to his heart and smiled blissfully. Can life
be any better, he wondered kissing Khushi softly on the top of her head as he closed
his eyes relishing the beautiful moment.
_________________
As promised, I am back with the update before the week ends.
Hope you'll liked the update.
Let me know what you felt about the update through your comments.
Thank you.
Rhea
:)
Chapter 12
Arnav was in his room talking to Khushi over the phone he hears the door being
knocked behind him and someone entering inside. Turning around he sees Aakash
and Anjali walking to him.
"I will call you later." He softly said before ending the call. "Aap log yahan woh bhi iss
time pe? Kuch kaam tha?" He asked, his attention solely on them now.
"Do I now need a reason to come to my brother's room?" Anjali asked sadly. She had
been sulking since the time he talked about Saurav, he noted.
"No di, that's not what I meant. You usually sleep by this time that's why I asked."
Arnav said stepping towards his sister and hugging her gently. He felt very bad
seeing his sister like that.
"I was not sleepy." Anjali replied with the same sad tone as she looked up at her little
brother. Why was he such a fool, she wanted to ask or rather demand from him but
she remained silent.
"I was here with a reason though, di saw me coming here so she joined me." Aakash
said. He looked a bit confused. "I actually wanted to ask about Saurav." He continued
and Arnav sensed trouble.
"What about him, Aakash?" Arnav tried asking calmly when he was everything but.
"Bhai, isn't he ma-"
"Ofcourse, he is mad. Who in their correct senses would want to marry that crazy
best friend of mine?" Arnav cut him in earning a curious yet confused look from
Aakash while Anjali suddenly seemed gloomier.
"I'm going to my room. Goodnight." She said softly and walked out leaving the
brothers.
"That's not what I was saying bhai. Saurav, isn't he already-"
"Married. Yes, he is married, I know." Arnav said placing a hand on Aakash's

shoulder and giving it a squeeze as his intent gaze met Aakash's bewildered ones.
"Bhai, I... You? How can you do that bhai? Just because you're so stubborn to let
Khushi go?" Aakash asked, his voice a bit raised, reason being the surprise his
brother's acceptance brought and also anger. How can his brother do that?
Arnav looked at Aakash with straight face for a while before his face broke down into
a smile. "You really care about her, don't you?" He asked, his smile intact.
Aakash was all the more irritated with his reply. Damn straight he cared for Khushi,
there was no rocket science there, everybody in his family thought Khushi as their
own. "Of course I do bhai, she is like a sister to me. What sort of silly question is
that? Or I rather ask what sort of silly game are you playing? I know she did a
mistake by pushing you away and making you marry Muskaan, but are you really
giving her such a big punishment for that? Don't you love her at all that you are
letting her go and that too like this? Can you really see her married to another man?
Moreover a man who was already married once?"
Arnav folded his arms to his chest and took a deep breath. "Yes, I can see her get
married to a man who was already married once." His face gave nothing away as he
said that. He saw Aakash rubbing his forehead at his reply so he continued. "Like you
said, she had committed a mistake in the past and she has to pay for it. She will have
to marry a man who was once married already because we can't go all those years
back and undo what was done then, we can't erase the fact that I was once married
and that too to her little sister." Aakash's eyes met his as he said that. "And no, I can't
see her get married to someone else. Khushi sirf aur sirf meri hai, uske liye agar koi
bana hai toh woh main hoon and mere liye woh." (Khushi is only mine. If there's
anyone that's meant for her, it's me and she's the one for me.) Arnav completed, his
eyes a bit misted thinking about the time he had Muskaan in his life. She was not
bad, she was lovely and sweet just like her sister but she was highly delusional and
saw only the things she wanted to which ruined not only one but three lives.
Aakash let Arnav's words sink into him and the next moment it did, he hugged his
elder brother tight with joy. "You scared me bhai, you made me so mad at you. But I
am so happy that you've finally decided to let go of the past and start afresh with
Khushi. I am proud of you and so delighted for you both." His voice chocked as his
brother patted his back. Seeing Arnav so devastated after Khushi forced him to marry
Muskaan had been hell, his brother was barely living but now he would get all the
happiness he had missed out, life was finally falling into place for him and Aakash
was very happy for his elder brother. "What about Saurav then? How does he fall into
picture?" Aakash asked straightening himself as he finally remembered where this
conversation had started from.
"On that! You all played a game on us, we both played another in return." Arnav said
casually shrugging his shoulder. Aakash's nose scrunched up trying to figure out the
meaning of that and Arnav volunteered, solving his riddle. "I overheard di and
somehow found out what you all were up to and where all the marriage talks was
were headed to. I wanted to confront her right then but I had to talk to Khushi first
and after we did, we thought maybe we should go with the flow and add our own salt
and spices to it." He completed biting the insides of his cheeks seeing the expression
on Aakash's face. "I am the ASR after all, I get quite competitive when people mislead
me or plan something against me." He added in his defense raising his hands in
surrender. Aakash laughed realizing how flop their plan had been. Di, Dadi and Sashi
uncle might have thought they hatched a master plan but ASR is the real player, he
thought.
"But you have to promise me that you'll remain quiet and let things go as it is at
current." Arnav said as Aakash stopped laughing. "It won't continue for long I assure
you, so do this much for us, please?"
"Okay bhai, just make sure all this gets over soon. I know it's them who started this
but please end it fast, Saurav's entry in the picture is really making them all worried."
Aakash said.
"I know, I have noticed that. It won"t continue long, I promise." He assured pressing
Aakash's shoulder.
"It's late, I will get going. You should also sleep now. Goodnight bhai."
"Goodnight."
***
"How long will we have to hide it Arnav? I am really tired now. I see dad worried and
sad all the time and it really makes me sad as well. I can't see him like this, I can't see
them like this. Have you noticed how gloomy Anjali di is these days?" Khushi pouted
and sat down at the edge of the bed.
As soon as Arnav came back from work Khushi had followed him to his room as he
had mentioned he had something important to say. He told her about the
conversation he had with Aakash the other night and now she was putting forward
her concern. She was really tired of this all now. There's no point of being happy on
their own when their loved ones are not happy.
Arnav leaned down and dropped a quick kiss on her pouted lips before he walked to
the recliner removing his tie. Khushi shrieked as she realized what just happened. He
had been so quick and smooth with his move that she didn't even see what was
coming before he had already moved away. She covered her mouth with her hands
and glared at Arnav who bit the insides of his cheek and looked at her goofily.
"What? You look so adorable when you pout. Only I know how I had controlled
myself for so many days." He paused before pretending to think something and
added. "Sometimes I wonder if you pout so much only to instigate me. Like you
already know how I feel when you pout, my feelings have been the same ever since I
saw you. So maybe you pout just to make me kiss you as you are too shy to ask for the
kiss yourself. "He earned a loud gasp and a muttered "shameless human" to that and
he laughed out loud only to have a pillow thrown at him.
"Stop dreaming, you pervert, I don't do it intentionally... it just happens. I pout when
I get sad or upset, not my fault. And no, I don't want you to kiss me when I do so."
She hmph-ed.
"So you didn't like the kiss?" He asked catching up only to the last bit of what she
said.
"I never said that. I like it when you kiss me. I feel shy but that doesn't mean I don't
like it." She said with her chin held high and the next moment closed her mouth with
her hands, again. She blushed a deep shade of red realizing what she just confessed
and closed her eyes tight not daring to see him or the smirk which she sure as hell
knew was plastered to his face.
Arnav raised an eye at her antics and shook his head lovingly. She was just a kid, he
thought as he slowly walked to her. He removed her hands that covered her eyes and
kissed either of her eyes and then her nose which had now become red. "I like kissing
you too." He said biting his tongue as he saw her eyes widen and then close again. He
held her chin and made her look at him. "I love you so much Khushi, only I know
how much I had missed this silly and childish behavior of yours all this while." He
said in his deep husky voice.
Khushi looked up meeting his loving gaze and hugged him immediately. She was like
this only with him and she had missed this craziness of hers equally and now that
they were together everything would be like before, she thought snuggling more to
him.
"Tomorrow is the day all this act ends. I can't see them sad either. They did all that to
make us realize how crazy we were being, it was to bring us together and now that we
really are together, there's no point making them sad. It's time to bring them out of
their misery." He whispered into her ears caressing her hair.
Khushi pulled back from the hug and met his warm eyes. Every time she met those
chocolate brown orbs, she fell for him all over again. She leaned in and placed an
open mouth kiss very close to his lips. "Thank you so much for coming back, Arnav."
She said as tears rolled down the corner of her eyes.
Arnav gently wiped her tears away and caressed her cheek with his thumb. "Before I
forget, you have a date tonight." He said lightening the mood. "So go home and get
pretty and save some romance for later." He winked earning a smack on his chest.
"What did I do to earn a date?" She asked.
"Nothing yet, that's why I am hoping you do something after the date, you know as
a thank you gesture." He smirked.
"Thank you gesture? Oh of course, I will let you hold my hand when you walk me till
my door while returning back and that is only if you be good boy the entire evening."
She said smiling ever so sweetly at him. "Now bye, I have a date to get ready for." She
said and kissing him on the same place as she did before and ran out of his room
giggling as she saw his jaw drop a bit. Two can play the game, isn't it?
Arnav threw his head back and laughed seeing Khushi run out. She had left him
dumbfounded with her cheeky reply. The kiss was probably her way of showing her
happiness for the victory she got by making him speechless for once, he assumed.
Tonight's gonna be so fun and definitely would a start to a new beginning.
________________________
http://www.india-
forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3883063&PID=99481718&#p99481718
The Process To understand why combination therapies are your best bet in reducing
hyperpigmentation, it's important to know what's going on under the surface of your
skin. Special skin cells called melanocytes produce melanin, the natural pigment
found in skin. Melanocytes do this by housing cellular vehicles called melanosomes,
which are responsible for the first step in melanin production. When inflammation
occurs (caused by the sun's powerful rays or a pimple-popping gone awry, for
example), melanin production is triggered within melanocytes. This all starts with
the enzyme tyrosinase, which turns the amino acid tyrosine into melanin inside
melanosomes.
Once melanin is synthesized, melanosomes pass through the outer tips of

melanocytes to transfer melanin (a process known as melanogenisis) into the other
skin cells. The end result: more melanin, aka hyperpigmentation, which you might
refer to as an age spot or acne scar.
We all have the same number of melanocytes, but the size and distribution of
melanosomes vary from person to person; the larger and more clustered these
melanosomes are, the darker the resulting spot will be.
The New "It" Ingredients for

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by Erica Smith | 5 COMMENTS

The Process To understand why combination therapies are your best bet in reducing
hyperpigmentation, it's important to know what's going on under the surface of your
skin. Special skin cells called melanocytes produce melanin, the natural pigment
found in skin. Melanocytes do this by housing cellular vehicles called melanosomes,
which are responsible for the first step in melanin production. When inflammation
occurs (caused by the sun's powerful rays or a pimple-popping gone awry, for
example), melanin production is triggered within melanocytes. This all starts with
the enzyme tyrosinase, which turns the amino acid tyrosine into melanin inside
melanosomes.
Once melanin is synthesized, melanosomes pass through the outer tips of

melanocytes to transfer melanin (a process known as melanogenisis) into the other
skin cells. The end result: more melanin, aka hyperpigmentation, which you might
refer to as an age spot or acne scar.
We all have the same number of melanocytes, but the size and distribution of
melanosomes vary from person to person; the larger and more clustered these
melanosomes are, the darker the resulting spot will be.
The Perfect Formula According to Woolery-Lloyd, combination therapies are more
effective because they attack melanosomes from a variety of angles. To give
melanosomes that one-two-three punch, a successful combination therapy product
typically contains:
1. A tyrosinase inhibitor (like hydroquinone) that suppresses the enzyme

tyrosinase and keeps it from turning tyrosine into melanin.
2. An exfoliator that increases cell turnover to reveal newer, and thus more lightly
pigmented, skin. Examples include retinol, glycolic acid and salicylic acid.
3. A melanogenesis inhibitor that stops melanosomes from transferring newly
produced melanin to other skin cells in the body.
Woolery-Lloyd notes that some combination therapies also contain penetration

enhancers such as kojic acid, which help topical treatments penetrate more deeply
into skin. Combining this three-part formula with botanical ingredients and
penetration enhancers is a more recent approach to targeting hyperpigmentation.
SEE NEXT PAGE: Winning Combo No. 1: licorice root extract + glycolic acid +
vitamin E
Winning Combo No. 1:
licorice root extract + glycolic acid + vitamin E Best for: uneven skin tone and dark
spots
Licorice: The extract from licorice root is naturally high in glabridin, a chemical
compound that inhibits tyrosinase, the enzyme that kick-starts the discoloration
process.
Glycolic acid: This chemical exfoliator removes the outer layer of dead skin cells,
bringing fresh, new skin to the surface. Most over-the-counter skin care treatments
usually have six to 10 percent glycolic acid. Chemical peels, which should be applied
by professionals, have concentrations ranging from 20 to 70 percent.
Vitamin E: An antioxidant well known for its soothing properties, vitamin E

protects against the sun's damaging rays while moisturizing and healing skin cells.
SEE NEXT PAGE: Winning Combo No. 2: licorice root extract + vitamin C +
niacinamide
licorice root extract + vitamin C + niacinamide Best for: sensitive skin and sun
damage
Licorice: This tyrosinase inhibitor is known for its soothing qualities, making it a
good choice for women with sensitive skin.
Vitamin C: This antioxidant combats free radicals that can contribute to
hyperpigmentation, such as UV rays, pollution and heat, and stimulates collagen
production, which reduces the appearance of scars.
Niacinamide: This ingredient stops melanosomes from transferring melanin to

surrounding skin cells while increasing skin's moisture and enhancing its barrier
function.
SEE NEXT PAGE: Winning Combo No. 3: kojic acid + arbutin + green tea extract +
vitamin C
kojic acid + arbutin + green tea extract + vitamin C Best for: dark spots from acne
and oily skin
Kojic acid: It not only suppresses tyrosinase activity, kojic acide also helps topical
treatments penetrate more deeply into the skin.
Arbutin: Extracted from the bearberry plant, arbutin is a natural alternative to
hydroquinone. It curbs melanocyte activity and helps break down extra melanin in
the skin.
Green tea: This natural, soothing antioxidant blocks free radicals.
Vitamin C: Also referred to as ascorbic acid, this antioxidant not only inhibits
tyrosinase, it also treats oily skin by blocking pore-clogging debris.
SEE NEXT PAGE: Winning Combo No. 4: licorice root extract + retinol + ginger root
extract + niacinamide
licorice root extract + retinol + ginger root extract + niacinamide Best for: acne
scars
Licorice: The extract from licorice root is naturally high in glabridin, a chemical
compound that inhibits tyrosinase.
Retinol: This vitamin A derivative encourages old skin cells to shed and uncovers
new cells.
Ginger root extract: This antioxidant works as an anti-inflammatory to protect
skin from harsher topical skin care products. It is also used to stimulate melanocyte
activity in skin cells, evening out patches of skin that are too lightly pigmented.
Niacinamide: This ingredient inhibits melanosome transfer to surrounding skin

cells while increasing skin's moisture and enhancing the barrier function of skin.

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Trust

Female Hormone Cycle

Spread the Word to

By I. Michael Borkin N.M.D.

Originally Published in Alternative Medicine, Issue 37

Meanwhile, millions of women continue to experience dysfunctions such as PMS,

The Endocrine Interplay

The Endocrine System and the Female Cycle

ovaries (in men, the testes)

Hyperthyroidism (overactive thyroid functioning) and especially hypothyroidism (low

The fight-or-flight response can be a detriment as well as a lifesaving response. In a modern

The Creation of Maladaptation

Quick Definition - Endometriosis is the buildup of endometrial (uterine lining) tissue

Breaking the Stress Cycle

Steps to Restore Hormonal Health

First, support the endocrine system and allow it time to repair.

Comprehensive hormonal testing should be performed to establish a baseline before a

Transdermal Delivery System

Recreating Healthy Dynamics

Transdermal hormonal supplements (dosages vary)

Understanding your menstrual cycle fact

Download a print-ready PDF version of this fact sheet (280 KB)

In a normal menstrual cycle, women experience menstruation (also known as a period)

Phases of the menstrual cycle

Cervical mucus and position

Ovulation and conception

THE LUTEAL PHASE

Age of first and last period (menarche and menopause)

Sex and menstruation

The Pill and menstruation

Return of periods after childbirth

TOXIC SHOCK SYNDROME

Common menstrual problems

ABSENCE OF PERIODS (AMENORRHOEA)

PAINFUL PERIODS (DYSMENORRHOEA)

HEAVY BLEEDING (MENORRHAGIA)

Heavy bleeding can be caused by a number of factors including hormonal imbalances,

BLEEDING BETWEEN PERIODS

PREMENSTRUAL SYNDROME (PMS)

PREMENSTRUAL DYSPHORIC DISORDER (PMDD)

Arhi SS l When She Rises From The Ashes l

A shrill ring broke the sinister like silence in the room.

You know mister I loved you,

Took all of your shit, like I was used to,

But you crushed me until I lay in shreds on the ground,

Now, mister, you will know,

How much once I loved you,

When I show you one of this days,

How much I hate you.

So was that enough EK drama!?

notification info in the next post

As he settled down in his plush throne he dismissed Aman wanting to spend a

He turned his back to her and stood rigid.

She opened her eyes and looked out of the window.

Aman nodded understandingly as he continued, "Off course, it would be hard for

"Is she the owner?"

A couple of days later,

"WHAT?" Arnav burst out.

Aman flinched but he expected nothing less.

"You are saying we lost the order to the new company"

Aman chose to not respond to the obvious.

"No ASR. It has been a fair and square business."

"Akash" Payel called when he entered their room that night.

But then what happened now?