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EverysentenceinthisIELTSessayhasanerror!
PostedonFebruary12,2017byRyanCommentsareoff

http://ieltsielts.com/category/ieltswriting/page/4/ 1/8
8/1/2017 WritingRyan'sIELTSBlogOriginalIELTSResources

Every sentence in this IELTS essay has an error!

Hereistheerrorfreeversionoftheessay:

Itisdifficulttoexperienceacountryfullyasatouristinahotel.Toappreciateandunderstandacountry,a
personneedstolivethere.Towhatextentdoyouagreeordisagree?

Peoplearetravellingmoretodaythaneverbefore.However,shorttermvisitorssimplydonothavethetime
neededtofullyunderstandacountry.Iagreethattotrulyexperienceandappreciateacountryapersonneedsto
livethereforaperiodlongerthanthatofthetypicaltourist.Thiswillbeshownbylookingathowknowledgeof
acountryscustomsandlanguage,twocornerstonestounderstandinganynationindepth,requirestimetobe
developed.

Forone,tounderstandacountrysvaluesandbeliefs,apersonmustbeexposedtoitscustoms,aprocessthat
demandstime.Forexample,whilelivingintheUAE,Ihadtheprivilegeofattendingalocalwedding,a
traditionalcamelrace,andabirthdaywithmyEmiratifriend.Inthecoolofthelateeveningateachofthese
events,guestswereservedspicedcamelmeatandmedjooldates,staplefoodsthatsustainedgenerationsof
peopleinsuchbarrenlandscape.HadIonlybeenvisitingtheUAEasatourist,Iwouldnothavehadthetime
neededtohavesuchinsightsintoEmiraticuisineandlifestyle.Thus,livinginacountryisanecessaryprecursor
tofullyexperiencingit.

Languageisyetanotheravenuethroughwhichsomuchunderstandingcanbederived.WhilelivinginChina,for
instance,ImanagedtopickupthebasicsoftheChineselanguage.Amongotherthings,thisallowedmetosee
thatChinesecultureputsextremeemphasisonface.Forinstance,inChinaitisthecustomtorefuseagift
severaltimesbeforeaccepting.AsIcouldonlymakethisfundamentalobservationaftercommittingtimeto
learningthelanguage,itisclearthatacountryreallydoesneedtobelivedintobefullyappreciated.

Toconclude,althoughtouristsreceiveabasicintroductiontoaregionanditspeoples,thoroughunderstanding
ofacountryisbestachievedwhenonecommitstolivingthere.

http://ieltsielts.com/category/ieltswriting/page/4/ 2/8
8/1/2017 WritingRyan'sIELTSBlogOriginalIELTSResources

BuyRyansTask2ebookhere:https://gumroad.com/l/fWPb

HaveRyanpersonallyassess5ofyourTask1or2samples:http://tinyurl.com/zkr9w2r

Womeninarts?Meninscience?Howtowriteaboutgenderin
IELTS
PostedonFebruary11,2017byRyanCommentsareoff

Women in arts? Men in science? How to write about gender in IEL

Hereistheessayfromthevideo(questionseeninVietnamon14January2017):

Inuniversities,youngwomentendtochooseartsprogramswhileyoungmenpreferscience.Whatarethe
reasonsforthistrendanddoyouthinkthistendencyshouldbechanged?

Inmanypartsoftheworld,genderofteninfluencesuniversityenrolmenttrendsforspecificdisciplines.Young
womentendtoengageartsprogramswhileyoungmenaremorelikelytostudyscience.Iarguethereasonsfor
thisarelargelyculturalinnatureandshouldbeaddressedtoensureanunbiasedacademicenvironment.This
essaywillprovideevidenceinsupportofthisposition.

Firstly,itmustberecognisedthatcultureoftenencouragesthegenderstowardsjobsthatrequirespecific
undergraduatedegrees.Forexample,inmoreconservativepartsofCanada,scientificprogramsthatactasthe
precursortojobsinforestry,suchasgeographicalsciences,areoftendominatedbymen.Thisisbecausepeople
mistakenlyassumewomenareunabletohandlethephysicaldemandsoftheforestryprofession.This
assumptionisdifficulttosupportwhenoneconsidersthehighratesofwomenenrolledinotherstrenuous
professionalroles,suchasthearmy.Similarly,societieseverywhereoftenassumethatsciencedegreesleadmore
directlytoemployment,whichorganisationslikeStatisticsCanadahaveprovenisuntrue.Becausemany
societiesstillfeelthenuclearfamilyistheoptimalfamilialarrangement,youngmenarepushedtowardsscience
degreestosecurethefamilysfuture.Thus,flawedsocietalexpectationsareclearlytoblameformuchofthe
genderimbalancesseeninuniversityprogramstoday.

Societyishealthiestwhenthispigeonholingiscountered.Youngmenandwomenaremuchmorelikelyto
advancetheirrespectivesocietieswhentheyareencouragedtowardsacademicpursuitsinwhichtheyhave
naturaltalentandinterest.Forexample,JaneGoodallstremendousscientificworkwouldhaveneverexisted
hadshebowedtosocietalexpectations.Thisshowswhyanunbiaseduniversityenvironmentshouldbe
defended.
http://ieltsielts.com/category/ieltswriting/page/4/ 3/8
8/1/2017 WritingRyan'sIELTSBlogOriginalIELTSResources

Astheaboveessayexplains,culturalinfluenceisprimarilythereasonbehindwhyyoungwomengointoarts
programsandyoungmenintoscience,andcounteringthiswillimprovesocietieseverywhere.

BuyRyansTask2ebookhere:https://gumroad.com/l/fWPb

HaveRyanpersonallyassess5ofyourTask1or2samples:http://tinyurl.com/zkr9w2r

ThisTask1responsewas150wordsuntilIdidthis
PostedonFebruary2,2017byRyanCommentsareoff

This Task 1 response was under 150 words until I did this...

Hereistheresponsefromthevideo:

http://ieltsielts.com/category/ieltswriting/page/4/ 4/8
8/1/2017 WritingRyan'sIELTSBlogOriginalIELTSResources

ThethreepiechartscommunicatethestatusofyoungpeopleinAustraliaafterleavingsecondaryschoolforthe
years1980,1990and2000.Overarchingtrendsbetweenthesethreepointsintimecanbeseenwhenthepie
chartsarecompared.

TherisingrateofemploymentamongpostsecondaryyoungpeopleinAustraliadeceleratedoverthe20yearsin
question.Thissharerosefrom40%in1980to50%by1990beforeswellingfurtherto55%by2000.Aless
substantialshiftinweightingoccurredamongyoungpeopleinAustraliawhosoughtfurthereducationafter
completingtheirsecondarystudies.Thisdemographicmadeup50%ofthetotalin1980butfellto38%by1990
andfurtherto37%by2000.Bycomparison,youngpeopleinAustraliathatcouldbeidentifiedasunemployed
followedagrowthpatternthatwasmorevaried,makingup10%ofthetotalin1980,12%in1990and8%in
2000.Itislikelythesethreedifferinggrowthpatternscarriedoninasimilarfashionbeyondtheyear2000.

DotheadvantagesoutweighthedisadvantagesinthisIELTSessay?
Watchandfindout!
PostedonJanuary21,2017byRyanCommentsareoff

http://ieltsielts.com/category/ieltswriting/page/4/ 5/8
8/1/2017 WritingRyan'sIELTSBlogOriginalIELTSResources

Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages in this IELTS essa

Hereistheessayfromthevideo:

Somepeoplebelievethatitisbetterforchildrentobeginlearningaforeignlanguageatprimaryschool
ratherthansecondaryschool.Dotheadvantagesofthisoutweighthedisadvantages?

Foreignlanguagestudiesareatypicalcomponentofcurriculumstheworldover.However,theexactageat
whichstudentsshouldfirstbeintroducedtoasecondlanguageisoftendebated.Whetherfirsttaughtatprimary
schoolorsecondaryschool,advantagesanddisadvantagescanbeidentified.Thisessaywillanalysetheseitems
inanefforttoproveoneagegroupbetterthantheotheratwhichtobeginforeignlanguagestudies.

Firstly,introducinganewlanguagetoprimaryschoolstudentshasseveraladvantagesoverdelayingthis
introductiontosecondaryschool.Forone,asevidencedinnumerousscientificstudies,youngmindsaremuch
morecapableofacquiringaccent,atruththatenablesyoungpeopletoreproducelanguageataquality
comparabletothatofanativespeaker.Inadditiontothis,theheightenedmemoriesofyoungchildrenmake
themmuchmorecapableoftakingonthetaskoflearningthemassiveamountsofvocabularyneededtobe
communicativeinasecondlanguage.Thisofcourseacceleratestheirsecondlanguagestudiesinwaysnotseen
atthesecondaryschoollevel.Itisthusclearthatteachingasecondlanguageatprimaryschoolhascertain
undeniablebenefits.

Despitetheseadvantages,therearepotentialdrawbackstointroducingaforeignlanguageattheprimaryschool
level.Ifthelanguagecomponentofthecurriculumisnotsensitivetolocalcustomsandtraditions,itcould
interferewithayounglearnersunderstandingoftheirownculture,achallengethatisnotapparentamongthe
morematuresecondarystudents.However,althoughthisisaconcernthatshouldbetakenseriously,educational
bodieswithinacountryhavethepowertoreviewandvetcontent.Thisisapracticethatcurbsthepossibilityof
culturalerosion.Further,delayingtheintroductionofforeignlanguagestudiesalsodelaysastudents
developmentasaworldlypersonthatunderstandsculturesoutsidetheirown.Thus,afteranalysis,the
disadvantagestoforeignlanguagestudiesinprimaryschoolarenotquiteasdiscouragingastheymayatfirst
seem.

Theabovediscussionmakesclearthat,despiteselectdisadvantages,languagelearningismoreeffectively
executedatprimaryschoolthansecondaryschool.Ithushopegovernmentstheworldoverencouragethe
introductionofforeignlanguageclassesamongtheiryounglearners.

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