JULY (SECOND) 2010 ● Rs 35

WOMAN ’S ERA

YES: YOU CAN MAKE

MONEY GROW
ON THAT TREE

HOW TO DEAL WITH

PERSONAL LOSS
MANIPULATING
YOUR EMOTIONS
TO BUY

MANAGING A
JULY (SECOND) 2010

DEBILITATING
DISEASE
CONVENIENTLY

PUTTING A GREEN IN
RED-LIGHT
AREAS NOT A
BAD IDEA
THE BIG INDUSTRY
BASED ON LOVE
 JULY (SECOND) 2010
Vol 37, Issue No. 879
CONTENTS
BUILDS HAPPY HOMES
Founder: Vishwa Nath
(1917-2002)
womansera.com

88
BOMBAY FILMDOM

44
7
DOUBLE-INCOME 5 STRATEGIES TO HELP YOU
14 SUMMER &
MONSOON BEAUTY
CARE
FINANCE MANAGEMENT SURVIVE OFFICE POLITICS Ameeta Sharma
Sudha Chandrasekaran Lesley D. Biswas

ARTICLES
26 IT’S ONLY WORDS AND 116 MIND SAYS “MOVE
WORDS ARE ALL HAVE ON...” HEART SAYS
Manisha Prakash “HANG ON...”
Nandita
32 DIEPPE PRETTIEST OF
CHANNEL PORTS
Eva Bell
118 THE PROBLEM OF
SHAKING PALSY 58
Dr S. N. Khosla PARTNER SEARCH
36 DECORATIVE GRASS Gulsum Basheer
Shilpa Shanbhag 122 THE MUNNABHAI BOY
Anil Merani
48 DO YOU SHOP TILL 124 CREATING
YOU DROP? WANNA ENVIRONMENTAL
KNOW WHY? AWARENESS IN SCHOOL
Rumy Agarwal
CHILDREN
62 ART ON CARPETS D. B. N. Murthy
Suman Bajpai 126 ALLOW THEM TO BE
76 A WOMAN WEARING
MANY HATS
TAUGHT BY NATURE ALSO
Rajshekhar Pant 60
TEN FASHION
Shakti Koushik 128 LEGALISING
PROSTITUTION A VIABLE NO – NO’S
94 CURE FOR HEARTBREAK SOLUTION Minakshi. S. Desai
Sucharita Dutta-Asane PVV Satyanaryana
96 ANIMALS SYMBOLISE
HIS THOUGHT PROCESS
133 ARE YOU WATCHING
MORE TV
COOKERY
Subhra Mazumdar M. Nathan 37 FUN WITH SEASONAL FRUITS
● Chocolate Cake a portion of
garnish with
chilled.
the mango
pulp and
mint leaves.
Serve PEAR, APPL
AND CHERRY
E

PULAO
with Fresh Cherries
cake with
Chocolate
fresh cherries
INGREDIENTS:
MINT AND 2 pears
CUCUMBER

FICTION
1 apple
cherries

REFRESHER
200 gm fresh

● Stewed Pears in
3 tbsp sugar powder
1/ tsp cinnamon
(cold soup) 2
1 plate full
cooked rice
INGREDIENTS: (kept warm)
leaves
60 gm mint r
sized cucumbe METHOD
the apple but
cut

Sweet Mango Pulp

3-4 medium- Do not peel
curd remove
100 ml thick or strips and
into cubes the
1/ tsp sugar chilli Do not peel
2 ground red the seeds. or thin
1 tsp coarsely into cubes
pears. Cut aside.
flakes
strips and keep of water and
1 apple ml
Heat 200

● Mint and Cucumber

the
pulp and stir till
in sweet mango METHOD r and remove add the sugar heat
Stewed pears
Peel the cucumbe Lower the
and cut into
small sugar melts. the cinnamo n
in
pears: the seeds cucumb er and mix and apple
For the stewed
the the pear
pieces. Place mint leaves and powder. Add fire,
2 pears pieces and
3-4 to cook on low the
blend in a mixer pieces and till

Refresher (Cold Soup)

3 tbsp sugar the sugar and time to time
stirring from
1/ tsp cloves powder
obtain a pulp. and begin to change
4
soup bowls fruit pieces around
ing: Place in three should take
For garnish in the fridge
for colour – this in the cherries
bowls Mix

18 BEING MYSELF
the the 3-4 minutes.
till the sauce mint leaves place
to chill. Dividethree minute.
for another
wooden spoon Put off the heat the soup into and cook the
METHOD s, cut into remaining mint leaves the soup heat and remove a

● Apple in
time CHOCOLATE
begins to thicken. to cool to Peel the mangoe in Put off the with
the sauce and run the
mango and place the syrup
flakes fruits from
Fruits are all
and allow ture. Spread
the
small pieces in a portionsSprinkle the chilli Place the cooked
and cream
CAKE WITH room tempera top of the cake bowls. the slotted spoon. a serving plate
on pieces, sugar a smooth pulp. Cut and core
stir gently. rice on
favourites. Every FRESH sauce evenly to obtain and the apples. warm sweet
mixer and keep do not peel the cooked
with a spatula. plate serving dish apples but pieces just
before and place and
its cake on the Place on a of the rice
season has Place the fridge at to chill. Cut into small to serve the soup. fruits on top
to CHERRIES
Mustard Sauce
plate in the in the fridge the pears. Cut into are ready

Kusturi Rangachari
and keep the so that the sauce Do not peel the you small portions of the
apple serve at once.
abundance INGREDIENTS:or sponge cake least for 1
hour
and thickens. eight pieces
and remove
and Place
200 ml of water the pieces in
the chilled
soup and Pear, apple
cherry pulao
and

the 1 kg chocolate settles down out

seeds. Heat
serving spread e
offer. Enjoy 300 gm fresh
cherries for
Just before
over the chocolat add the sugar
and stir till
heat and
serve at once.
in decoration the cherries into Lower the
seasonal fruits serve cutting sugar melts. powder. Mint and cucumber refresher

● Stewed Pineapple
te sauce: sauce and
the chocola mix in the cloves
– For pieces and
different forms
chocolate
2 tbsp drinking
slices. Add the pear
fire, stirring
arm 3 tsp sugar cook on low till the
chilled, lukew ED PEARS
time

52 HEMA’S CHOICE
to
from time
sauce:
chocolate
to change
hot METHOD Prepare the of water. Lower STEW pears begin
and served ET
should take

and Cherries with

1 cup colour – this
add the lukewarme IN SWE minutes. Put
heating
when mingled the heatto and
By
around 3-4
the drinking
powder is MAN GO
chocolat PULP off the heat
and remove
the syrup
with other waterpowder and
stir till the
Mix this IENTS:
the pears from spoon.
in the water. also INGRED with a slotted on each
and dissolved g water and pulp:
ingredients the mango Place 2 pieces top with

Ice Cream
into the remaininwater. Stir on low For and

Anil Kumar Panda sugar to the sweet mangoes serving plate

pamper your add fire till the
sugar melts
and the 1 kg
well into the
2 tsp sugar
– optional
cream
a 3-4 tbsp thick
taste buds. chocolate
sauce. Keep
also mixes
stirring with
By Roma Ghosh 2010

● Poached Eggs with

● July (Second)
Woman’s Era

80 WHEN DEEPU WED DEBBIE Orange Sauce ● Sprouts, Musk Melon and
Romola Shanbhag ● Chicken Salad with Watermelon Salad
Litchees ● Musk Melon with Peanut
120 MY FIRST O
Keerti Garg 28 ● Watermelon and
Cucumber Refresher
with Mint
●
Butter Sauce
Burger Patties with
Crushed Pineapple and
136 ON CATCHING THE TRAIN AND THE WINNER IS... ● Stewed Peaches Apple Sauce
R. G. Katju Dr Rumy Agarwal with Mint ● Aam Pana Sweet Rice
● Rasgollas Baked ● Caramelised Peaches
with Mango Puree with Ice Cream
 30
FASHION NEWS IN
PICTURES

78
MODULAR
84 GRATEFULLY YOURS MAGIC!
123 NEIGHBOURS ALL
134 CROSSWORD
146 AS YOU SAY
86
THE LITTLE
MASTER

FEATURES
27 TEENACHE 132 WHY SHOUT? (Poem)
35 BEAUTY QUERIES 137 NEW LAUNCHES
65 PERSONAL 138 MONEY MATTERS
PROBLEMS 140 CLASSIFIEDS
85 YOUR BODY
95 CHILD CHALLENGE READERS’
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www.womansera.com
 EDITORIAL
DEMON CALLED DEARNESS
C
ommon man in the country is nowadays
perplexed by dearness, which is increasing day
by day. It is not that the goods were cheaper
earlier, but he was able to afford them. Now, he is
unable to buy things of his choice. Common man has
only his immediate requirements of food, clothing,
housing and education of his children to meet. He does
not want to bother about the finer aspects of
economics.
The fact is when you are living in an economy
(countries are now spelled economies), you cannot
help but be a part of it. You have to go with the system.
You cannot make the system to go with you. For long,
India has been following capitalist economic system
with a socialist infrastructure, rather we may say, with a
socialist mindset. Everything here from food to fuel had
been enjoying heavy subsidies from the government.
Two decades ago, in tune with the changing world
order, the Government in India also shook off its old
socialist structure and started moving towards liberal
economy.
But everybody in the country was not prepared
either mentally or economically to keep pace with the
changing economic order. Moreover, the parties in
power had to take care of their vote bank also. So the
pace of economic reforms always remained slow and
full of hiccups. Main stress of the governments,
irrespective of whichever party was in power, was to
convince the masses about the compulsions they were
facing in world economic order.
Two decades have passed since then but healthy
signs are missing. Poverty has grown out of all
proportions instead of diminishing. Poor are multiplying
and progress is still elusive. Deeds of the governments
pumped lot of money into economy. Two Pay
Commissions, implemented since then for the
government employees, also played vital role in fanning
inflation as the government people got more money at
their disposal. The government took full care of its
employees to shield them from increasing inflation.
But the common man, who is employed in
unorganised sector, is kept outside the purview of the
Pay Commission. His income is limited and he has to
manage with the same meagre income. Naturally, he
will have to cut down his expenses in order to cope
with the ever-increasing dearness. But how long can he
do so? A day will come when growing dearness will
devour not only all his income but his savings also.
Apart from this, in the name of eradicating
unemployment and poverty the government has
launched a number of rural employment generation
schemes with good intention. Jobless villagers are
6 Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
given assured income even if they are doing just
nominal task. It is another thing that funds are being
siphoned off to the influential people. Also in the name
of fighting terrorism and Naxal menace in J&K,
northeast and Naxal-infested states thousands of crores
of rupees are being allocated. It is a matter of
investigation how much part of these funds is used for
the real purpose and how much is usurped by the
corrupt bureaucracy. All these measures have resulted
in increased money flow into the market leading to
higher rate of inflation.
Now, the government has withdrawn subsidies on
the petroleum products making them dearer. Naturally it
will have cascading effect on prices, as transportation
has become more expensive.
Giving vent to increasing public anger against
growing dearness, all the opposition parties organised a
daylong bundh in the country. This bundh may be
termed most successful in the sense that it got full
public support. For the first time in the entire tenure of
the UPA, such a unity was witnessed among the
opposition parties. Monsoon session of Parliament will
start soon. We can expect bubbly debate on dearness.
Finance Minister Pranab Mukherjee rules out any
rollback in the petroleum prices. According to him, the
government can no longer bear the burden of oil pool
deficit. Hence there is no other way except letting it go
as per the ways of international market.
But dearness is a perpetual problem here. Moreover,
our Prime Minister has also indicated further hike in
diesel prices under decontrol policy. The government
cannot coax the people to accept dearness as their
fate. The government claims that the country has
successfully overcome the recession and its economy is
booming again. But it continues to give incentive
packages to the companies as before. Clearly, the
government is benefiting some peer groups at the cost
of others and common people. There are indications
that the petroleum prices were decontrolled to provide
undue advantage to some big corporate houses
venturing into India’s oil wells. Only the Finance Minister
can tell it better who these corporate houses are.
India is often compared with the communist China in
terms of economic progress. But in reality, bank loans
are given at zero rates, deficit being absorbed by the
government, to make their products competitive in
international market. In capitalist India this is
unimaginable. But this is an unfair practice and is bound
to have an adverse impact in long run. In India,
government is passing some economic shocks to its
people. Opposition called bundh to highlight the
problems of the public. It should give rise to healthy
debate for total uplift of the economy.
letters@womansera.com We
DOUBLE-INCOME
FINANCE MANAGEMENT
How to make it significantly
better than a single-income household.
By Sudha Chandrasekaran

G
one are the days when
most women stayed at
home with their kids, and
it was such a comfort to
come home from school to
find mom there, supper on
the stove or in the oven,
maybe baking a cake or
frying hot samosas... a hug
from mom, mom’s help
with homework, so on and so forth. It
was a warm, loving era. Then came
the neighbour’s wife, an engineering
graduate who started working as a
systems engineer in a nearby firm.
The couple had all kinds of gadgets
and a luxurious lifestyle which no one
else could afford in the
neighbourhood. All the wishes of their
kids were fulfilled and soon this trend
of double-income couples caught on
and it became the norm.
Suddenly, nothing was the same.
Everyone was in a hurry, quality was
replaced by quantity, togetherness
was replaced by “wheneverness”.
Now, there HAD to be two incomes
— unless one had a significantly high
income. Stay-at-home mom is still a
necessity, but is now a rarity.
 difficult to establish joint ownership
of property owned by one partner
prior to marriage, which gives the
couple one more reason to opt for
separate accounts within the home.
Another sociological development
reinforces the increasing preference
among married couples for financial
independence. Says Rohan, a
finance analyst, “People have
realised that, like jobs, relationships
are no longer permanent.” Marriages
today are riddled with divorces which
make the sense of security harder to
come by. Divorce law also pushes
women into the workplace. In case
of divorce, women are pushed into
the workforce in middle age, even
though they may want to stay at
home.
Sure, in theory, double-income
households should end up twice as
wealthy as single-income families but
in practice, it is more an exception
than a rule. Often, after three
decades of work life, double-income
families find that they are not really
much better off than single-income
With double income deepening
their pockets, young couples of today SURE, IN THEORY,
can afford to do impulsive shopping,
eat out frequently, take dream
DOUBLE-INCOME
vacations, visit fitness centres HOUSEHOLDS
regularly, wear branded clothes, etc. SHOULD END UP
The new, rapidly spreading family TWICE AS WEALTHY
model is now run along the lines of
an equal partnership, with the AS SINGLE-INCOME
husband and wife handling their own FAMILIES BUT IN
incomes separately. The desire for PRACTICE, IT IS
private space also factors in the
current trend towards separating
MORE AN EXCEPTION
aspects of a couple’s finances. The THAN A RULE.
generations now in their twenties
and thirties, who matured amid
increasing home ownership and a
decline in the birth rate, often had
their own rooms.
They tend to dislike the
interference of others in their own
space and they feel strongly about
using their money as they see fit
even after marriage. For some years
now, the increasing presence of
women in the workforce and the rise
in the age at which they marry has
led to a boom in single women
purchasing their own homes and
property. Married couples also find it
8 Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
households. Surely one plus one
totals two. Second incomes cannot
just vanish down a black hole, but the
truth is, they can and often do. Firstly,
income is often misconstrued as
wealth, which means that you cannot
just earn your money, but must also
grow over time through judicious
investments. And secondly, double-
income families often fritter away the
second salary unconsciously just to
maintain a household. You might
have to keep two maids instead of
one, pay for a creche or maintain a
second car. Then, there are
commuting, business attire and
entertainment costs. All these plus
taxes effectively skim the cream off
the second income.
It all sounds easy enough to find
answers to the eternal question of
how you can make your money work
harder. In the first place, one should
keep expenses under control so that
a surplus amount of money is created
for investments and next, stow that
surplus away smartly into the right
instruments at the right times. Too
often, earning double-incomes is
significantly easier than managing
them. Some of the managing
techniques are pointed out by finance
planners.
Capping expenses: We all need
to lead a good life but without
prudence, one cannot create surplus
amounts of money needed for wealth
creation. So where do you cut back?
In the first years after marriage,
expenses are usually high, when
couples spend a large portion of their
income to set up house. And roughly
20 years into marriage, savings again
slow down, since large expenses like
children’s higher education and
marriage happen. Therefore, on an
average, families create wealth
between the third and twentieth years
of their marriage. The expenses, of
course, continue through every
stage and are of two kinds —
discretionary and non-discretionary.
The former is what you spend on
non-compulsory but vital chunks of
daily living — entertainment, travel,
leisure, gifting and theoretically at
least can be reduced at will. The
non-discretionary expenses are
mandatory payments towards
insurance premiums, loan EMIs,
house rent or telephone bills.
Non-discretionary expenses are
the biggest hurdles in wealth creation
for double-income families. And
these are compounded by imprudent
capital expenditure — that hi-tech
home theatre system you simply
must have, or the Honda CR-V you
really cannot do without. These dig
deep holes in your wealth pile and
disturb the process of compounding.
Tabs on loans: Getting sucked
into a life where most of your income
goes towards EMIs is not advisable.
Loans should not cross 30 per cent of
the gross income. More conservative
planners, in fact, advise clients to
stay away from debt unless their
investments earn substantial returns.
Ideally, first focus on getting yourself
UNLESS THE BASES
ARE COVERED, THE
SMALLEST SETBACK
CAN WIPE OUT THE
SAVINGS. THE BEST
WAY TO PROTECT
WEALTH IS TO COVER
ALL INSURABLE RISKS
— CARS, HOME
POSSESSIONS.
a home loan and nothing else. Given
the low rates, take a home loan as
early as possible. And while looking
for a house, buy one that will best
meet future needs like
accommodating children, parents and
guests. The costs of upgrading to a
bigger house later, in terms of
brokerage and stamp duty, are high.
Also, applying for a loan jointly with
both spouses as co-owners fetches a
large loan. And since both, the
husband and the wife will get tax
breaks, the loan cost comes down
considerably, leaving funds that can
be invested elsewhere.
Other debts: As the income
increases, home loan EMIs will
consume a smaller percentage of it.
This is when one can look at other
loans — say for a car upgrade —
provided total loans are still under the
30 per cent limit. This means that in
the initial years, one should avoid
loans pertaining to cars, credit cards
and personal loans. The only
exception is education loans, which
create the intangible asset of skills.
Any other EMI must be treated as a
consumption expense.
Other expenses: Loans are not
the only red spot in your expense
account. Often, with little time for
financial planning, couples leave a lot
of cash lying idle in a bank saving
account. This cash invariably gets
spent on impulsive expenses like a
binge at the latest nightspot or
the fancy gizmo just
released. The key is to find
the balance between
spending today and
providing for tomorrow. One
must have a broad idea of
where his/her money is getting
spent. More important, the
second income should be looked
at as a savings vehicle and not as
a handy till to fund extravagances.
In the years soon after marriage,
when the couple is setting up a
home, at least 10 per
cent of the double-income
needs to be saved. Ideally,
most of this 10 per cent should
come from the second, lower
income, with expenses being borne
by the higher income. That means
the entire lower income and a portion
of the other income has to be saved.
As job security becomes increasingly
fickle and people look forward to
taking brief breaks from work to
retrain or just to unwind, this strategy
empowers them. Since crucial
expenses are not dependent on the
second income, wealth creation does
not suffer a setback if it goes missing
for a brief period.
Every expert will tell you that
income has to be converted to
wealth. The trick lies in how you do it.
Not being able to create adequate
wealth despite a double income is to
fritter away a crucial advantage. But
before you come up with an
investment plan, two important areas
need to addressed — risks and
taxes.
Risk management: Unless the
bases are covered, the smallest
setback can wipe out the savings.
The best way to protect wealth is to
cover all insurable risks — cars,
home possessions. Insurance
premiums should not be viewed as
expenditure. Next, ensuring that the
entire family has adequate medical
insurance is a must. And last, but
definitely not least, ample life
insurance has to be taken. The idea
is to evaluate how the family’s
expenses, lifestyle and financial
goals will be affected if one or both
incomes are wiped out by death or
disability. This means figuring out the
difference between what these will
cost and what the value of the
existing assets is. It is this difference
that must be bridged by life
insurance. It is generally found that
double-income families
underestimate the risk cover needed
when one or both spouses become
disabled or pass away. Buying
various types of insurance alone is
not enough. Wealth should be
protected from uninsurable risks like
a job loss.
Tax planning: Neither death nor
taxes are unavoidable, but the truth is
taxes make a big hole in your wealth
accumulation. Tax planning helps
plug this to some extent. Here are
some useful tips.
As already mentioned, if the
husband and the wife are in different
tax slabs, it is to be made sure that
the family’s living expenses are met
by the large income and a
considerable part or all of the smaller
income is to be saved. This strategy
is sure to save a small amount in
taxes, depending on the difference in
the individual incomes, the respective
tax slabs and regular expenditure
levels. Investment in any taxable
investment products should be done
by the person in the lower tax
bracket. That is because taxes (on
interest, for example) on such
investments will also be lower. And
last, if it is the wife’s income that is
lower, then it is advisable to avoid
investment of the husband’s income
in her name or gifting her cash, since
the income, in both cases is taxable.
Investment planning: One big
reason why double-incomes do not
translate into double wealth is
because most working couples do
not follow a plan to reach financial
goals. It is important to agree on your
financial goals and prioritise these.
This will be the starting point of your
investment planning. As you
increasingly start generating
surpluses for investments, you have
to figure out the “what” and “when”
of your wants. Should you be buying
a house first or a bigger car? Should
you make a provision for your aged
parents who are financially
independent right now or worry about
your own retirement? Once you have
a plan, you can make course
corrections. Without a plan, you
might end up losing money.
Grow it: Investments by a
double-income household are not
inherently different from those
made by a single-income
household. One is looking at the
same factors like risk profile,
number of working years left,
proximity to goals and number
of dependents. However,
there is one vital difference. If
they are adequately insured, double-
income households can take on more
investment risks. But they mostly
falter, which is why they do not end
up vastly ahead of single-income
families in the long run. Double-
income households have much more
to put away in equity for growth. The
bottom line is to look at that second
income as a means to create wealth
rather than as a licence to binge.
With just a little restraint and some
astute planning, double-income
families can indeed perform that
unlikely math magic (i.e. 1+1>2!).
Faced with the challenges of
attitudinal differences, providing for
spouse’s needs and that of the
dependents, how do you combine
your incomes to best advantage?
Crucial to the success of leveraging
your double-income is instituting a
system that efficiently divides
financial responsibilities. Pooling of
ULTIMATELY, IT IS LEFT
TO THE COUPLE TO
WORK OUT A
STRATEGY AMONG
THEMSELVES WHICH
WILL BEST SUIT THEIR
FINANCE
MANAGEMENT IN
THE MOST
AMICABLE WAY.
income is desirable. Both partners
need to decide the portion of the
incomes that need to be kept to
themselves and the portion which is
to be pooled to meet common
objectives like day-to-day expenses
or long-term goals like saving for a
house. Instead of daily pay-outs,
make a budget and divide the
financial responsibilities between
yourselves. Often, this arrangement
works out naturally, as in the case of
web professional Saritha Sekar and
Rakesh Gautam, a creative director
with a leading advertising agency.
The couple decided that since Sarita
earned considerably less than
Rakesh, they would save all her
income. The couple intends to use
the money for the down payment on
a house.
Unlike the US, there is no concept
of joint tax returns here. Couples
should avoid merging their funds
since it makes determining tax
liability confusing and computing
capital gains difficult. These changes
in household budgetary patterns are
affecting patterns in consumption as
well. A household budget account
plan offered by one major bank,
which lists the names of both
husband and wife in the passbook
and includes two separate cash
cards, has attracted tens of
thousands of double-income couples
as customers. A think tank affiliated
with an advertising firm opines that
couples with separate wallets will feel
freer to exercise their own wills,
which will in turn lead to greater
financial liquidity. Sales of consumer
durables, such as televisions, stereos
and even automobiles, which used
to run along lines of one to a
household, are now increasingly
aimed at one unit per person.
Travel agents’ and other
services are being used by
more and more of married
individuals rather than
couples.
Ultimately, it is left to the
couple to work out a
strategy among them -
selves which will best suit
their finance management in
the most amicable way. We
 W
hen Shalini took up her
first job at a multi-
national company she
was fresh out of college
and new to the
corporate culture. She
was friendly and happy
that many of her
colleagues reciprocated
her warmth. Presuming
it to be a great workplace she not
only shared her lunch with them and
invited them over to her birthday
party, but also discussed her new
ideas with her colleagues.
To her horror, one of her
colleagues whom she considered her
good friend and confidante, promptly
and unethically passed Shalini’s idea
as her own, and not only stole all the
praise for the bright idea, she also
snatched the project from under
Shalini’s nose.
As competition peaks at the
workplace, so do office politics.
Unethical practices like stealing
others’ ideas and credits, backbiting
to put a colleague at a disadvantage,
bullying to make their life miserable
and plain ignoring, become the order
of the day. Patrick Frosyth, author of
Detox Your Career, writes, “The
office where politics do not exist does

5
not exist.” Having said that, it doesn’t
mean you allow the situation to
overwhelm you. Here are five tested
strategies to navigate this maze that
will help you survive and shine in a

STRATEGIES TO toxic political workplace.

Do not quit: Negotiating office

HELP YOU SURVIVE politics and surviving in a workplace

reeking with snoops and bullies can
be stressful and leave you with a

OFFICE
bitter experience for life that might
have you contemplating even quitting
your job. Considering that the political
game is a part of every office set-up,

POLITICS
you can expect to encounter similar
situations in varying degrees at every
workplace, so quitting your job isn’t a
viable solution. But sticking it out
might take its toll on you. So find
How to overcome ways to defuse the situation.
According to editor and founder of
your colleagues’ intrigues. office-politics.com, you could try two
things. First, bury yourself in work
By Lesley D. Biswas and ignore what goes on. This will

14 Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010


help you rise above their taunts.
Second, you may document their
abuse and file a complaint with your
seniors. But if you’re worried about
being dragged into unnecessary
controversy, don’t take sides and
decline from commenting when your
opinion is sought.
Find the reason: There are a
range of politics that go on at office.
What is it that is disturbing you? Are
you being disliked or shunned? Most
of the time, job insecurity makes
colleagues behave in suspicious
ways. If someone feels that you’re
better skilled than they or have a
greater chance of promotion, they try
and pull you down. Another reason
for envy is your rapport with your
boss.
This makes colleagues insecure
of their own positions in the
organisation as they see you more
eligible for all the advantages they
are competing for. Some might try to
be overtly friendly to please you and
in turn, the boss, while others might
be out to get you.
In the case of job insecurities like
these, experts advise having a
candid conversation and sorting
things out. Over a cup of coffee, ask
the persons what is troubling them or
what is the problem they have with
you. Chances are that they will tell
you but if they don’t, get someone to
intervene because a negative
environment isn’t only depressing it
also slows down progress. If you help
them grow their potentials so that
they too feel equally deserving for
whatever’s at stake, the problem can
be sorted out.
Recognise the politician: Most
often, you don’t recognise the person
who is playing dirty games, like in
Shalini’s case. To avoid the horror of
backstabbing, be alert. Don’t be too
trusting and never let anyone in on
your ideas and project details.
Beware of getting blown away by
sweet talk and restrict your
conversation at social gatherings. If
you’re working as a team, from the
very outset, clearly define your areas
of work and don’t intrude or allow
others to intervene. Lock secret
documents and private data securely
in folders.
Take behavioural cues these
politicians offer. If someone is too
nosy and keeps peeking over your
desk, be alert. When you’re on the
phone, is anyone overhearing your
conversation? Such cues point to the
suspected person. Be careful! Always
inform your seniors of your idea so
that they are aware that it belongs to
IN TODAY’S WORK
CULTURE, IF YOU HAVE
THE ABILITY TO HANDLE
OFFICE POLITICS, IT’S
CONSIDERED AN
ASSET. INSTEAD OF
WHINING AND
COMPLAINING TO
YOUR MANAGERS,
SHOW OFF YOUR SKILL
AS A COMPETENT
PROBLEM-SOLVER AND
TRY TO SOLVE THE
PROBLEM YOURSELF.
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
you, and if it is stolen, you have an
evidence.
Donʼt believe what you hear:
Remarks carried by colleagues who
pose as well-wishers, could well be
manipulated and designed to upset
you. Always confront the speaker in
the presence of the bearer. This will
clear the doubts if you are being
misled. In case the remark is
genuine, find out why the person has
made it. Sometimes, you might have
unknowingly harmed someone or
hurt them. Get to the root of the
problem before it blows out of all
proportion.
It’s important to understand that
you’re interacting with human beings
who have different perspectives.
Care to consider their outlooks if
you’re working as a team because
your boss wants the project
completed and it requires teamwork.
Give others a chance to explain their
ideas and find ways to incorporate as
much as possible. By being
accommodating, you could downsize
the person out to get you.
Use it to your advantage: In
today’s work culture, if you have the
ability to handle office politics, it’s
considered an asset. Instead of
whining and complaining to your
managers, show off your skill as a
competent problem-solver and try to
solve the problem yourself. Talk it
over or e-mail the person concerned
asking to sort things out. It could be a
good idea to try defusing the bomb
at social parties when the
atmosphere is more informal and
relaxed. Approach the person with a
clear mind and be open to his or her
outlook. According to Rolin Koval, co-
author of The Power of Nice, “Being
nice can be the most effective tool
for success when dealing with office
politics which is used with the
objective of gaining advantage in the
work environment.”
If the other person is convinced
you’re not trying to run them down,
the chances are that they will also
see sense in coming to a solution
because even the politicians don’t
always enjoy this role. We
15
STORY
SHORT

Being Myself
Akshaya was besotted by her husband’s
love – till Jyotsna put her wise to him.

I
By Kasturi Rangachari
stood at the open door of the fridge, staring
into the vegetable bin. What should I cook
today? It was Sunday and it had to be a
special meal. Paneer mattar? But we had had
that last Sunday. Pav bhaji? I didn’t have
enough tomatoes. Ah! My eyes had fell on the
net bag full of ladies’ fingers. We’d have
stuffed bhindi, my favourite dish which I hardly ever
made because Puneet didn’t like it too much.
“What’s today’s lunch menu?” Puneet
came up behind me and asked as he put
his arm around my waist and swung me
around. I smiled. It was lovely to feel how
much even his casual touch still excited me.
“How does sweet corn soup, parathas,
stuffed bhindi, dal, salad and pineapple
trifle for dessert sound?” I asked.
“Great! But make it methi-alu instead of
bhindi, dal, screen
bhindi,” Puneet said blithely.
“Okay!” I said smiling at my handsome
husband as I put the bhindi back in the
fridge and took out the methi. I hated methi-
alu, but if it made my husband happy for
me to cook it for him, I would do it! I loved
him enough to make the small sacrifice;
besides, if I didn’t, he would sulk and that
stuff and haven’t yet accumulated – after just six
months of marriage – junk that I want to get rid of.
But Puneet wanted to go and so we went. As I said, I
can’t refuse Puneet anything and I can’t bear it when
he sulks!
“Monday blues, Akshaya?” asked Shivangi
glancing my way as I breathlessly slid into my seat
in the cabin we shared in office. I was half an hour
late and I had a pile of work to get through before
the 11 a.m. monthly meeting of team
heads. A pile so big that I had no hope of
“How does even reading through it by 11.
sweet corn “Not exactly,” I said and turned on my
soup, system. “I haven’t prepared for the
parathas, meeting.” Shivangi nodded absently. Her
stuffed eyes were fixed on her own computer
and her mind was obviously far
away on her own preparation for the team
salad and leaders’ appraisal meeting.
pineapple I tapped my fingers on the table
trifle for impatiently as I waited for my system to
dessert wake up. My heart was beating fast and
sound?” my hands were clammy. For the first time
in my five years at SigmaWorld, I was
I asked. unprepared for a meeting!

T
would spoil my whole day! he meeting was a disaster and I still hadn’t
Lunch was good even if I didn’t have any methi- recovered from the reaming out I got from
alu. I over ate and felt heavy and lazy after I had Sharma sir, when the next Friday came around.
cleared the table and put the leftovers away. I would I had spent the week working harder than I ever
have loved to have a nap, but fat chance of having had, catching up with stuff I should have done the
one! Puneet napped after breakfast on Sundays and previous week and writing an overdue report, but I
always had something planned for Sunday hadn’t managed to finish it all. Come Friday
afternoons. Today it was to go to the new market he evening, I gave a loud groan and put my head
had heard of which had opened on S. N. Road. down on my table. Puneet had planned a getaway
“It is like a garage sale,” he told me. “Anyone this weekend and was looking forward to the trip so
can go and set up a stall and sell anything they want much!
to. Many people go there to sell off anything extra “He’s booked us into a resort near Kashid,” I told
they have at home and to buy things they fancy from Shivangi. “We are…were…are…supposed to leave
the other stalls.” tonight and come back only on Monday morning!
I wasn’t ecstatic about the prospect of the visit to So I cannot work this weekend.”
the market because I don’t like buying second-hand “But Sharma sir will be even more furious with

18 Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010

you if you don’t give him the report first thing
Monday morning, Akshaya!” my friend pointed out.
“I know!”
“Did you tell Puneet about the mess you are in?
Give him some warning that you may have to
postpone the Kashid trip?”
“N...no.”
“Why on earth not?”
“He doesn’t like me talking about my work once I
am home.”
“Funny. But he seems to talk about his own work
a lot! You are always full of the stories he has told
you!”
I
hesitated. “Well, yes…But his work is different.
He’s got this exciting job in PR where he gets to
meet celebrities! Exciting people! But me, I’m just
a programmer. I just write codes for clients living
across the world, clients whom I never see. Okay, I
now supervise a team that writes code. But I’m really
a nobody compared to Puneet!”
Shivangi gaped at me. “Listen woman!” she
finally gasped. “Talk of putting oneself down!”
I shrugged. “I’m not putting myself down!” I
protested. “It’s just that a charismatic man like
Puneet is much more interesting than an ordinary
employee of SigmaWorld like me!”
“You need to have your head checked to, girl!”
“You’ll understand when you get married,” I
assured my friend with a smile. “That is, if your
husband is as wonderful as mine!”
Shivangi just snorted in reply.
When I went home, Puneet was already
back and had the music on loud as he
packed for our weekend trip. “Hi, Akshi!” he
called out as soon as he saw me. “I’ve
packed for you too, so you just have a bath
and change and we can leave. We’ll eat at
some place on the way…”
“You’ve packed for me?”
“Yes. Two pairs of jeans, a few tops,
your swimsuit and,” he smiled naughtily
and fluttered something between his
fingers, “two of these and the other
stuff I got you last month! I don’t think
we need anything else!”
The “these” were two wispy,
transparent, sexy nighties and “the
other stuff I got you last month”
consisted of naughty lingerie
which he had bought me from
Victoria’s Secret outlet in New
York where he had gone on work
the previous month. To tell the
truth I wasn’t particularly
comfortable in them – I am more
the girl-next-door than a sex siren! – but such outfits
turned Puneet on and that was that as far as I was
concerned!
I smiled at him, picked up a change of clothes
and a towel and rushed to the bathroom. My heart
beat fast and I had an idiotic smile on my face.
Damn the report and forget Sharma sir! I wasn’t
going to disappoint Puneet; I was going to have a
romantic weekend with my gorgeous husband!
On Monday, Sharma sir was too stunned to say
much when I told him that I hadn’t finished the
report, but the look he gave me showed how
disappointed he was in me. I worked hard the next
couple of days, staying in the office late, much to
Puneet’s irritation, and finished it.
I didn’t have the guts to go and give it to sir
myself and so I went and left it on his desk when he
was away for lunch. He didn’t mention it to me or
comment on it and I knew that meant that the report
was all right. But I also knew that it would be a long
time before he forgave me for my lapse.
“He should understand,” I grumbled to Shivangi,
“I’m married now and have a home to run and a
husband to think of. I can’t give my everything to my
work any longer.”
A
rnab, another team leader, had just come into
our cabin with some papers in his hand. “Then
either quit or don’t accept promotions that
mean more work!” he snapped with acerbity. “Don’t
give others problems because you haven’t finished
your work or you expect them to cover for
you!”
“I don’t expect others to cover for
me…” I began angrily, but Arnab
interrupted me.
“Oh yes, you do,” he said. “I filled in
for you thrice last month when you had
to go home early, remember?”
“Yes, but I’ve filled in for you too…”
“Yes, when I’ve been ill, but you
wanted to go home early one
evening because you had a party
to attend and the other two times
because Puneet called and told
you that he had taken the
afternoon off.”
I had nothing to say. Arnab
was right. “I’m sorry,” I said to
him stiffly. “I’ll see that it doesn’t
happen again.”
Arnab looked exasperated.
“Don’t act all hurt, Akshaya,” he
said. “But we men sometimes get
fed up, you know. Women want
the equal pay and they grumble
and whine about the glass ceiling, but they also
want to do less work and get special consideration
because of their many problems.”
“Well, we are women!” it was Shivangi’s turn to
snap. “Nature gave us the ‘problems’,” she made
quotation marks in the air for the word, “that you are
talking about – we didn’t create them ourselves! Yes,
we need special consideration when we are
pregnant, when we’ve just delivered, when we are
breastfeeding, when our kids are ill…”
then put her arm around my shoulder. “Forget it,”
she said. “You don’t have to take an immediate
decision. And I’ll give you something more pleasant
to think about. Jyotsna is in town! She called me and
asked me to organise lunch with the gang. So
Saturday it’s a get-together for lunch at Piccadilly!”
“Oh, I can’t possibly come. I’d have to leave
Puneet…and it’s the weekend…”
“Oh don’t be silly, Akshaya!” Shivangi
countered. “Jyotsna is coming here after so long.
Surely Puneet can manage to be by himself for a

I
tuned out their argument and became immersed
in my thoughts. I had none of the problems
Shivangi was talking about – yet! – but I still
needed “special consideration” and often wanted
my colleagues to help me. Because I wanted to go
home early, because I didn’t want to take work
home, because I wanted others to give their
presentation first so as to give me more time to
prepare my own – it was all because I didn’t want to
disappoint Puneet by saying that I was
busy when he wanted me to spend time
with him. As a result, I gave more time to
Puneet and less to my work sometimes! But
surely that was all right for a newly-married
woman? Or…was it?
“Akshaya? He’s gone,” Shivangi
brought me back to the present.
“He’s right, you know,” I said with a
sigh. “I am not pulling my weight here.
And,” I hesitated, wondering if I should tell
Shivangi and then I decided to do so.
“And…Puneet is talking of my leaving my
job. He earns enough and has bought a
flat...”
Shivangi looked at me absolutely
stunned. “Leave your job? But…but you’ve
worked your arse off for five years and have just got
couple of hours! Tell him to set something up with the
guys.”
“No. Puneet says that the weekends are our time
together.”
“But,” Shivangi frowned thoughtfully, “didn’t he
go golfing with his friends one weekend last month?
And doesn’t he have a monthly boys’ night out on a
Saturday?”
“Yes, but…that’s different! Those guys have been
doing these things for ages and he can’t
get out of them just because he is married!
Shivangi His friends will say that he is henpecked!”
looked at me “You too have been doing things…and
absolutely Jyotsna is a good friend…”
stunned. I shrugged. “Puneet will be disappointed
“Leave your and I can’t bear that,” I said and ignored
job? But…but Shivangi’s snort.
you’ve worked But, as it turned out, I was able to attend
your arse off the get-together because Puneet’s best
for five years friend, David, called on Saturday morning
and have just and asked him to come over so that they
got your first could discuss the programme for the next
promotion!” college alumni meeting, over lunch.
“I have to go,” Puneet said. “So you can
she gasped.
go and meet your friend, Jyotsna. I’ll drop
you on the way.”

I
your first promotion!” she gasped.
“I know…but I’m married now and my husband
wants me to quit. Surely I should listen to him?
Won’t our home be a happier one if I am a full-time
homemaker?”
“Are you the type to be happy cooking, creating
a beautiful home and taking up hobbies? No? I
thought so! Then your home won’t be a happier one
if you resign. I know that you are proud of what you
have achieved and of being financially
independent. Will you let all that go when there is
no real reason to? It will be different when you have
a baby – but now?”
Put like that I knew that I didn’t want to quit my
job. But if I refused, Puneet would think that I didn’t
love him. He’d be miserable and would mope and
be sullen. I sighed.
Shivangi watched me in silence for a minute and
walked into Piccadilly and quickly spotted my
friends sitting at a big table to one side of the
restaurant, making a lot of noise. And sitting
facing me was Jyotsna looking even more gorgeous
than she had looked the last time I had seen her a
year ago. She saw me and smiled and waved and I
went up to the table.
“They told me you weren’t coming and I was so
disappointed!” she said, getting up and hugging
me. “I’m so glad you could make it!”
“No reason she couldn’t, actually,” said
Shivangi. “Except that weekends have been
declared billing and cooing time by hubby dear!”
There was a sharp note in her voice, but Jyotsna
smiled her usual gentle smile. I loved that smile. In
fact, I loved and admired everything about Jyotsna,
just as Shivangi did. When she had been at
SigmaWorld, Jyotsna, who was a few years older

Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010 21

than I, had been a mentor as much as a friend to
both of us, someone we took all our troubles and
problems to. When she had left to get married and
move to Delhi three years ago, we had both been
devastated.
“You’re looking great!” I said to Jyotsna who was
dressed in a turquoise blue salwar-kameez. “But I
remember how gorgeous you always looked in red
and so – here!” I held out a carry bag containing the
bright red kurta I had bought for her.
S
he opened the bag and took out the kurta. Her
eyes lit up. “Of course, I knew that I was being
stupid,” I went on. “I know that Avinash only
likes you in pastel colours. So, will you ever wear it?
Actually, I bought it because I couldn’t resist it!”
Jyotsna laughed. “Haven’t you noticed that I’m
not dressed in a light pastel colour?” she demanded.
“I love this kurta. You bet I’ll wear it!”
I plonked myself down and greeted the others.
Everyone in the group had worked in SigmaWorld
and we were all good friends; so the conversation
was lively and there was a lot of laughter. We
ordered lunch and, later, Shivangi picked up the
bill.
“No, I’ll pay,” protested Jyotsna.
“Hey, I know that you’re married to a crorepati,
but this is my treat,” said Shivangi as she handed
over her credit card to the waiter together with the
bill.
“I have to leave,” said Padmasini reluctantly,
picking up her cellphone and looking around for her
handbag. “I have to take my Rishika to the doctor’s.
She has a cold and slight fever.”
“How come you were able to come?” asked
Jyotsna. “With whom have you left her?”
“With hubby Vinod, of course. He’s perfectly
trained now! He’s as good with Rishika as I am.”
“Lucky you!” grumbled Alpana. “In our house, it’s
daddy for the fun times and me for everything else!”
The girls got up one by one, but Shivangi and I
remained seated. We were much closer to Jyotsna
than the others and we wanted some more time with
her. “Let’s have coffee before we leave,” I suggested
as the others said their farewells and left.
“Fine!” said Jyotsna.
We ordered coffee and sat back. “Tell us all your
news,” said Shivangi. “How is Avinash?”
“No, I want to hear about you, Akshaya,” said
Jyotsna. “I haven’t really talked to you since your
wedding. Are you happy, girl?”
“Oh, I am!” I exclaimed. “Puneet is absolutely
great! He’s wonderful in every possible way!”
“Yeah,” said Shivangi caustically. “He adores
Akshaya. He doesn’t want to let her out of his sight!
You’re lucky to see her, Jyotsna. Normally,
weekends are off limits for Akshaya’s friends. Puneet
wants her all to himself then.”
Jyotsna turned to me. “Is he possessive,
Akshaya?” she asked with a strange look on her
face.
“Yes, he is and I love it!” I exclaimed. “It shows
that he adores me!” I paused a moment and smiled
at my friend. “Just as the fact that Avinash is
possessive of you, shows that he adores you! And,
just like you, I love doing everything as he wants me
to because I want to make him happy.”
“So you do just as Puneet wants you to?” Jyotsna
still had that strange look on her face as she asked
me the question.
“Yes! Just as you do! I mean, Avinash likes you to
wear only pastel colours and you do that – except
today for some reason! He likes you to look slim and
trim and so you go to the gym, though you hate all
those machines there! He doesn’t want you to work
because he wants you all to himself and so you gave
up your job. You watch action films instead of the
romantic ones you enjoy, you follow IPL matches
though you hate cricket, you learnt to cook his
favourite dishes from your mother-in-law – you live to
make him happy, don’t you? And I’m doing the
same thing!”
Jyotsna leaned forward and I took her hand and
clasped it tightly as I went on, “The only difference
between Puneet and Avinash is that Puneet isn’t as
rich as your crorepati husband, Jyotsna. So he can’t
buy me a diamond bracelet and plan a holiday for
two on a cruise boat for my birthday as Avinash did
for yours last year – but he’s as loving and as
wonderful! You told us that Avinash …”
“Akshaya…” interrupted Jyotsna. “I’ve left
Avinash! Last month.”
I froze. “Wh...what?” stuttered Shivangi
“Yes. I couldn’t take it any longer.”
“Take what?”
“Avinash’s so-called ‘love’!”
“So-called…love?”
“Yes. It is smothering me!”
of energy. So what was wrong with his taking that
decision?”
Shivangi cleared her throat. “Akshaya, be
truthful. Was that particular weekend the best time
for a getaway weekend? Puneet realised that you
needed a break – that shows that he is considerate
and caring – but planning that weekend when you
had a deadline to finish a report after a disastrous
appraisal meeting doesn’t show that he respects the
work you are doing.”

N
either Shivangi no I said anything and after I bristled. “He didn’t know that I had a report to
staring into the distance for a few moments, finish!” I exclaimed.
Jyotsna went on. “It took me three years to “How come?” asked Jyotsna.
realise that Avinash didn’t actually love me,” she “I…I didn’t tell him.”
said. “He loved a fantasy and tried to make me into “And why didn’t you?”
that fantasy – a woman who was as soft as the “That’s because he doesn’t like Akshaya talking
pastel colours she wore, who agreed to everything about her work at home,” Shivangi informed
he said, who really had no personality of her own Jyotsna. “But he loves to talk about his own!”
but was content to be whatever her husband wanted Jyotsna sat back and sighed. “Exactly like
her to be! He took away my identity. Avinash. When I resigned from SigmaWorld and
“But it wasn’t completely Avinash’s fault, I moved to Delhi after we got married, I thought…I
suppose. I lacked self-confidence from the presumed that I’d get a job and work…till I
beginning. I was afraid that my decisions had a baby. But Avinash told me that he
would not be the correct ones – after all, I “That’s wanted my entire attention…and so I
had married a rich, charismatic, successful because he dropped my plans of working. I had
man whom everyone respected and so I doesn’t like enjoyed my work. It had given me
was sure that his decisions would be better Akshaya independence and individuality. Now that
than mine! talking about was gone.”
“Besides, I didn’t want to create waves her work at We all fell silent, absorbed in our own
in my new family. So I was submissive and home,” thoughts.
everyone was happy – by ‘everyone’ I Shivangi “When did you decide to leave
mean, my in-laws and my husband. informed Avinash?” I asked in a hushed tone. I was
“But slowly I realised that I wasn’t still stunned by what my friend had just told
Jyotsna. “But
happy. I felt smothered by Avinash’s love. I us.
wasn’t getting the freedom I needed and I
he loves to “When he told me some weeks ago that
wasn’t being appreciated. I began to talk about his he didn’t want any kids because that would
resent Avinash. I began to miss the things I own!” take away some of the attention I gave
had given up without a struggle. I had him.”
stopped playing the sitar because none of my in- I gasped. “That’s not normal,” said Shivangi
laws liked classical music. I liked rich, deep colours, quietly.
but the new flat Avinash bought for us was done up “No, it isn’t. I realised then that my passivity, my
completely in white and I found that depressing. I giving in on every issue, hadn’t made Avinash feel
was never asked my opinion on anything because it secure and loved as I thought that it would. It had
was presumed that I would be my husband’s echo. I simply become a way of life for him. And he wanted
began to find that humiliating.” more and more from me.”
I found my voice. “I think you are being unfair to “You mean…you’ll never go back to him? That
Avinash,” I said. “He loves you and wants to protect you’ll get a divorce or something?”
you….” “Yes, if necessary…but I hope it won’t come to
“But I don’t want to be protected! I’m not so weak that. I hope the fact that I have stood up to him will
that I need to be! And by deciding everything for make him rethink matters and that he’ll realise that
me, he’s taking away my voice, my right over my he has made an absurd demand on me and our
own life, my right to live as I want to!” marriage. That he’ll come to his senses…”
“But all decisions taken for us need not do that! Shivangi and I both held Jyotsna’s hands. She
For instance, Puneet decided that I needed a break grasped them back. The coffee we hadn’t even
a couple of weeks ago and insisted that we go out noticed, cooled on the table in front of us.
for the weekend. I came back feeling fresh and full “Don’t make the mistake I made, Akshaya,”

Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010 25

Jyotsna said in a tight voice. “Don’t let Puneet’s love
take away your identity.”
I felt obliged to defend Puneet. “Puneet isn’t…I
mean…” my voice trailed away.
“Isn’t like Avinash? I’m glad that he is not. But it
appears that he does have a tendency to ride rough
shod over you...in the nicest possible way, of
course! Stand up for yourself from the beginning.
Don’t let things go as far as they have for Avinash
and myself.”
I promised her that I wouldn’t. I didn’t tell her or
Shivangi that Puneet had said that he didn’t want
kids for a long time!
I
started the next day. In small ways, I began to do
things as I wanted to. When I made methi-alu for
Puneet, I made bhindi for myself. I began to talk
IT’S ONLY WORDS,
AND WORDS ARE ALL I HAVE
A
t a party held some time back, I Here’s how to
chanced upon this stunningly
beautiful woman, wife of one of my
refine your
husband's friends. It was quite speech to
difficult to keep my eyes off her, as
she was in one of the choicest ensembles
refine
with striking danglers hanging from her ears yourself.
and just the right kind of make-up, hairdo
and accessories. She looked the picture of perfection.
But not for long! Her whole persona turned repulsive the
moment she opened her mouth to say something. She
had quite a strange way with words. She spoke in a
parlance which was quite irritating, more so because it
did not go with her appearance. One expected a refined
way of speaking from this enchanting woman.
This incident set me thinking about how much we
do to make ourselves look good from the outside and
we pay so little attention to our diction. It is self-
defeating to undermine the importance of speech.
People know us because of what we say. In many
ways, our speech is the expression of who we are as a
person. Make-up and attire does not do much to
contribute to a person's personality: it only adds to your
person in ways of making you more attractive. But
speech divulges all. It informs about the educational
qualifications of a person, his or her value system, self-
beliefs, inclinations and much more.
So, are you one of those people who is all glitter
and shine but only till she opens her mouth? If so, it is
time you paid attention to your words. In reality, taking
care while speaking helps in many ways. Many of you
would agree that at times words even lead to conflict.
So it would be wise to use them judiciously. In many
26 Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
about my work and began to nap before any
Sunday outing. And I gave my opinion on things
and did not just laughingly accept whatever Puneet
said. At first, he was taken aback and sometimes he
sulked. He would even accuse me of having
changed. But, when I continued to be loving and
considerate, he began to accept the new, self-
confident me. And I am revelling in it. Revelling in
being myself!
It took a while for Avinash to understand why
Jyotsna left him and though he came to talk to her
and she has gone back to him, they still have a lot of
adjustment to do. And Jyotsna has as much to do as
Avinash does. Taking decisions and standing up for
herself do not come easy to her after years of being
passive – but she is revelling in it now. Revelling in
being herself! We
cases, a person acquires the local parlance
unconsciously. A Delhi person will speak in
a different manner compared to, say, a
person from Chennai. Most of the time you
cannot help it but it spoils your language
forever.
For someone who wants to have refined
ways, giving time and attention to speech is
a must. Besides, a good way of speaking also helps in
winning friends and influencing people. Good speaking
skills are a must for a pleasing personality.
Ways to improve speech Speak slowly and clearly.
Don't rush with words. Use your words when required.
Keeping quiet is a better option when you are not sure
about something. When you are among gossip-
mongers and have no choice, maintain a diplomatic
silence. At best, give a smile or a nod. Indulging in
gossip only gives temporary pleasure.
Later, it can have unwanted consequences. Learn to
pronounce words correctly. Try to limit body movement
while speaking. Let others also have their turn at
speaking. Apply your thinking before giving a voice to
your words. Try to read good books and magazines.
Brush up on your current affairs and knowledge about
the world around you.
Mostly, people get bored with trivia and gossip.
Everyone wants to have variety in a discussion. Beauty
with brains is always likable. Your words will cheat you if
you are ignorant.
Even our beauty queens go through rigorous
practice to improve their diction before they go to
participate in beauty pageants because they realise
that beauty is not just skin deep! – Manisha Prakash
 QA &
Q&
I am in a real fix. For some time, my
parents were missing money from
their purses, and had suspected our
servant who they sacked. Last week,
I was shocked to catch my younger
15-year-old brother pilfering cash
from Mom’s handbag. When I
confronted him, he confessed that he
had been stealing earlier too, and
that the servant was innocent. He
begged me not to tell my parents and
that he would never steal again. He
claimed that the pocket money Dad
gave him was too little to meet his
expenses and so, he resorted to
taking the money.
I do not know what to do. I feel
terrible that the servant was given a
bad name for nothing at all. She was
A
inconsolable. But if I tell my parents,
Dad will surely punish my brother
severely. I do not want this as he is a
good kid, otherwise. I am his 17-year-
old elder sister.
It is important that you set things
right with the servant who will be
suffering agony with the false
accusations. Coax your brother to
confess to your mother who will
perhaps be more lenient with him.
His behaviour cannot be excused,
especially when he kept silent when
an innocent person was made the
scapegoat. What guarantee is there
that he will not be stealing again,
taking more care not to be caught?
If he does not agree to confess,
you must speak to your mother
privately. Let her take the matter out
of your hands, and deal with both
your brother and the servant in the
best possible manner.
TEEN ACHE
TEEN CHE
I am a 17-year-old girl who has not
A
yet started her periods. I feel worried
and left out because all my friends
have done so. My mother says,
everyone is a late starter in the family
and it is no cause for worry. Please
advise.
By normal standards, you should
have started your menarche by now,
but if it is delayed in your other family
members, perhaps this is a
hereditary trend. If you have got the
I really love a boy in our class
(12th std) very much. He is one of
the smartest and most popular
guys. I try to talk to him on every
small pretext, clearing doubts,
borrowing his notes,etc. I smile at
him a lot also to show I like him,
but I still cannot find out whether
he likes me too. My friend even
asked him point-blank but he didn’t
answer at all. This is driving me
crazy. Should I just tell him that I
love him? Is it wrong for a girl to
make the first move? We are both
17 years old.
It is clear that this boy is not
ready to have a girlfriend. He may
find you attractive but may not
want to be your exclusive
boyfriend. This is understandable.
Girls mature sexually and
emotionally earlier than boys.
When girls start thinking about
romance, boys and dating, boys
are usually only interested in cars
and football. In a couple of years
though, they find the other sex
very alluring.
Don’t declare your interest and
“love” to this boy. You will
embarrass him and even scare
him away from you for good. Bide
your time, play hard to get, give
him a long leash, so to say. With
time, if he likes you, he will come
to you. In the meanwhile, have a
good time with other friends.
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
secondary signs of sexual maturity
like growing breasts, underarm and
pubic hair, it may just be a matter of
waiting.
There is no harm in consulting a
doctor who can access your condition
accurately and suggest treatment if
necessary. If you have not got your
periods even when you are a year
older, it is definitely important to get
medical opinion.
I am a 16-year-old girl. Some days
back, my aunt and her son had come
to stay with us for a week. One
morning, when I was bathing,
suddenly my cousin brother pushed
open the bathroom door. The latch
had not closed properly. Both he and
I were shocked and he beat a hasty
retreat. I feel very ashamed that he
had seen me without any clothes. He
is behaving normally and seems to
have put the incident behind him.
Should I too do the same or talk to
him to clear the matter up?
It was an unfortunate mistake, and
you should not feel guilty or ashamed
about it. It is wise and correct on the
part of your cousin to ignore it. Do
not rake it up or make a big issue of it
by talking about it with him. It will
cause unnecessary embarrassment.
He seems to be a decent guy. It
could make trouble for him. Such
unintentional accidents happen. Put it
out of your mind and stop feeling
guilty . And yes, always latch the
bathroom properly when using it!
This column is especially for teenagers.
Adolescence can, we know, be a trying and
confusing time. There are so many questions
which seem to evade solutions. A wrong
decision, or an indiscreet move, can spell
disaster and ruin a life. Share your problem,
worry or doubt with us and WE will help
you find a way out — to a happier, healthier
and more successful adult life. Send your
problems to:
WOMAN’S ERA
E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055
Womansera.com
27
AND THE
WINNER IS...
How not to just sit
around – and get a move on!
By Dr Rumy Agarwal
T
his is for those of my young
friends for whom the wonder
years have come to an end
and it is time to step out into
the real world of adulthood
where, to get what you want
out of life, you’ve got to work,
and work hard. Really hard.
Attention, all ye job-seekers,
lend me your ears, for I have
a few tips which just might give you
the cutting edge and ensure that your
foray into a career will not be with too
many hiccups.
 Be obedient but not passive:
Don’t ever project the helpless,
content-to-flow-with-the-tide image
cos, if you do, you will just keep
flowing! You will never be singled out
for being given additional respon -
sibility and, as it follows, neither for
promotions (especially out of turn!).
Strut your stuff, fellas, show your
bosses that you’ve got what it takes
and, for that, you need to show
spunk, enthusiasm and initiative.
For instance, if there is any
problem at work, don’t rush to inform
your boss. Think about the problem,
view it from all angles and try to think
of a practical solution and then, and
only then, go to Big Daddy with infor-
mation and suggestions to solve the
problem). Try it and see the
difference it makes. At once, your
ratings in the boss’s eyes are
buoyed! “Here’s a feisty one,” thinks
he. He knows then that you can be
relied upon for new assignments –
and the perks (a favourable Confi -
dential Report, a good word, a raise
in salary, etc) just follow!
Remember, a laid-back attitude at
work is a sure-shot way of landing up
to disuse atrophy – DON’T have it.
Perk up and go sniffing around for
situations which need rectification
’cos it is these “situations”, these
problems, which will give you the
opportunity to showcase your talents.
Move, guys, move!
Be ready to experiment: Y’know,
you don’t always HAVE to stick to
age-old ways of doing things. If you
feel that a certain method has
outlived its utility or is overused for
want of anything better, have the guts
to change it. If it succeeds, you’ve hit
pay dirt; in case it doesn’t, at least
you’ve proved that your creativity is
not at a dead end! And that counts
for something, especially in the long
run.
Perform beyond expectations:
Abstruse though it may sound, the
boss rarely gives a promotion for a
job performed well as per norms or
expectations; what he looks out for,
and rewards, is the spark to stray
from the path of the pedestrian. Look,
IF YOU WANT TO BE
COUNTED AMONG THE
MOVERS AND
SHAKERS, BE MORE
GUNG-HO ABOUT
YOURSELF. BE PREPARED
TO TAKE THAT ODD
CHANCE – IT MAY BE
JUST THE CATALYST YOU
NEEDED.
his reasoning is that if you are doing
your job adequately, it’s no big deal,
’cos he’s paying you for doing just
that. Why the hell should he reward
you? But if you give more of yourself
to your work than is expected of you,
well then, you do deserve a “pat on
the back” (sometimes read as
“promotion” or “increment”.
If you have it, flaunt it: And I am
talking about talent and potential, my
friends, so no naughty smirks, okay?
If you feel that you have something to
offer to your work by way of aptitude
or ingenuity, then go ahead, bring it
to the boss’s notice (but be discreet –
neither pompous nor apologetic).
Have self-confidence and then
hardsell yourself. In the professional
world, the meek and humble do NOT
rule the world !
Donʼt underestimate yourself: If
you want to be counted among the
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
movers and shakers, be more gung-
ho about yourself. Be prepared to
take that odd chance – it may be just
the catalyst you needed. If there’s a
challenging assignment to be given,
put yourself up for it. If you are
scared and nervous about your ability
to handle it, tell yourself that it’s okay
to be frightened but – what the hell –
even if life comes up lemons, you can
always make lemonade! Above all,
be an eager learner; if you project
complacence and boredom, that is
what you will get from your boss too.
Keep relationships at work in
the right perspective: This is a tad
intricate ’cos friendships are emotion-
based and emotions are not
governed by the little black book of
professional etiquette, y’know.
Anyway, maintaining the right
balance (being buddy-buddy with
some and distant with others, but
polite and pleasant with all) is
absolutely essential. And try to keep
your work-related opinions and
grievances to yourself – you never
know when they might reach the
wrong ears and you are left with a lot
of eggs on your face.
So, if you keep the nitty-gritty in
mind, guys, you will be able to punch
the right digits to get to the top.
Remember, the boss usually bestows
a kindly eye on the one who is a cut
above the rest. So go on, be THAT
person. We
29
 A balancing act

▼
An acrobat from
internationally acclaimed
circus company “Circus
Oz” dismounts from his
balancing act during a
rehearsal of their new
production for the opening
night in Melbourne on 16
June. The circus without
animals has performed in
26 different countries
across five continents to
over two million people.

Intervention vessel

▼
This is the view of the Q4000 multi-
purpose oilfield intervention vessel,
burning off material from the
Deepwater Horizon wellhead near
the disaster site in the Gulf of Mexico
on 24 June. The rig had exploded on
20 April, spilling millions of gallons of
crude into the Gulf.

Surfing event
▼

An American surfs a wave

during an international
surfing event held at Sri
Lanka’s coastal resort of
Arugambay. With
participation from surfers
from the UK, Australia,
Indonesia, Netherlands, Celebrating with fire ▼
Japan and New Zealand, the A Belarussian in traditional
competition aims to promote clothing jumps over a fire
the country’s east as a while celebrating Ivan Kupala
major tourist attraction. Night on 24 June, a traditional
Slavic holiday, marking
midsummer, outside the town
Melbourne winter
▼

of Dobrush.
masterpieces
An important exhibition
explores the full career
of film-maker Tim Burton
through hundreds of art
works that spectacularly
illuminate his creative
vision behind the movies
Beetlejuice Batman,
Edward Scissorhands,
Charlie and Chocolate
Factory and Alice in
Wonderland.

What a performance!
▼
An actor performs during
the opening of “King Kong
360 3-D” at Universal
Studios in Hollywood,
California on 29 June.
new exhibition forms part
9-part self-portrait ▼
A collage of Polapan prints by
artist Chuck Close is displayed at
Sotheby’s during a preview of the
Polaroid Collection in New York.
The collection which the founder of
Polaroid, Edwin Land began, was
auctioned on 21-22 June.
The Edges of the world
▼
A gallery assistant dips
her toe into the outdoor
pool installation entitled
“H2O-SfLv” by Brazilian
artist Ernesto Neto, at
the Hayward gallery in
central London on 16
June. In the next picture
Neto stands within one
of his installations. The
of the Festival Brazil at
the Southbank centre”
Art is today resurfacing
all over the world,
particularly in India.
The computer age
▼
Nicaraguan school
children show their
XO laptops at the
Miguel Larreynaga
school in the town of
Tipitapa on 24 June.
The one Laptop for
Child Organisation
(OLC) has distributed
17,000 Laptops in
150 public schools
across the country.
Stress on sex
▼
education
A school teacher in
Manila shows male
and female
reproductive systems
models that she uses
in teaching biology in
her school. The next
education Minister will
be a Roman Catholic
Philippines lay leader
amid seething conflict
between the
government and the
Church over sex
education.
 T
he 170-kilometre-long drive
from Paris took us through
many quaint villages, to the
fishing port of Dieppe.
Situated on the channel
coast, the bustling old town
is a little piece of history.
Founded by the Vikings on
the estuary of the river
Arques, it was constructed
on a pile of pebbles in 907 AD, and
gradually grew into a town after the
Norman Conquest in 1066.
On the west, it is bounded by
towering white cliffs reminiscent of
the cliffs of Dover; on the east, by the

DIEPPE
banks of the river. To the north, it is
open to the English Channel.
Hundreds of boats were anchored
along the quay. Jutting right into the
sea is the Transmanche Terminal, a

PRETTIEST OF long low building which was

supposed to be designed and built

CHANNEL A picturesque little

French coastal town is a

PORTS delightful summer

attraction. By Eva Bell

Dieppe harbour
 Castle museum.
according to some secret architec -
tural formula. Its curved low roof and
horizontal lines of the facade, mirror
the layers of flint in the cliffs behind.
A board indicates that Camille
Pissaro who was commissioned to
paint the harbour, set up his easel at
this vantage point and produced six
beautiful paintings of this splendid
scene.
High up on the cliff is the
sandstone and flint castle which
dominates the town. It was
constructed by a Captain Desmarest
in 1435 to defend the town from the
English, during the 100-Year War. It
then became the seat of the
government during the French
Revolution, and thereafter served as
a prison. Today, this cavernous old
castle is called the Castle Museum,
and houses an exquisite collection of
ivories and impressionist paintings by
Pissaro, Renoir and Sickett along
with priceless maritime maps and
artifacts. It takes a couple of hours
to wander leisurely through the eight
spacious rooms that hold these
treasures.
In front of the castle is the Square
du Canada. In this square is a
multifaceted stele erected in 1927 in
honour of the old friends of Dieppe,
the Canadians. It traces the links
between Dieppe and Canada since
the 16th century.
From the Castle Esplanade one
looks down at the long sea front, a
vast bathing area since 1822. It also
has a swimming pool. Two ferries
The Dieppe and Sardinia Vera ply
between here and New Haven,
bringing holiday makers from
England. It was the British who made
swimming fashionable here since
1822. They used to commute by the
cross channel ferry even in those
days.
SCENIC BEAUTY
The beach here is quite unlike
most sandy beaches, and is made up
of tiny pebbles right down to the
water. The blue green expanse of
water is calm, warm and inviting.
There are schemes for developing
the waterfront with covered swim -
ming pools and other activities. The
road in front of the beach is the
Grand Rue which has been
pedestrianised. On one side of this
traffic-free boulevard are half-
timbered houses built in the late 19th
century, with a profusion of balconies
and appendages, and overhanging
roofs constructed in neo-Norman
style.
Of the many churches, St.
Jacques Church was worth visiting.
It was constructed between 12th and
the 16th century, with a flamboyant
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
St. Jacques church.
TODAY, THIS
CAVERNOUS OLD
CASTLE IS CALLED THE
CASTLE MUSEUM, AND
HOUSES AN EXQUISITE
COLLECTION OF
IVORIES AND
IMPRESSIONIST
PAINTINGS BY PISSARO,
RENOIR AND SICKETT
ALONG WITH
PRICELESS MARITIME
MAPS AND ARTEFACTS.
Gothic style for the facade and the
chancel. The nave is more sober, but
several chapels surrounding it are
decorated with grotesque motifs of
the earliest French Renaissance.
Le Pollet is the area on the other
side of the river, which has been
occupied by fishermen since the
Middle Ages. The polletais (fisher
folk) have their own costumes, songs
and customs. Ever since the Anglo-
French fleet razed Dieppe to the
ground in 1694, there are no wooden
half-timbered houses here. Now they
live in sturdy flint houses with white
33
brick frontages. The streets are
narrow and winding and have
retained their old-world charm.
Dieppe is one of the major exporters
of herrings. Herring is supposed to
be the ‘king of fish’ but the people
here call it ‘chicken of Dieppe’ a
major part of the French herring
catch comes from here.
But Dieppe will go down in history
as a place where the Allied Forces
received a crushing defeat from the
Germans in World War II in their
Operation Jubilee. On 19 August
1942, Allied forces consisting of
Canadians, British and American
troops mounted a raid on Dieppe.
They were supported by destroyers
in the channel and air squadrons. But
they were forcefully and mercilessly
repulsed by the Germans. The Allies
Neo Norman style constructions overlooking the English Channel.
paid a frightful price with heavy
losses of life and limb. The casualties
were mostly Canadian.
However, the lessons learnt from
this defeat helped them plan new
strategies. Two years later, when
they landed at Normandy Beach on 6
June 1944, the Germans were
defeated. The honour of liberating
Dieppe was given to the 2nd
Canadian Division on 1 September
1944. Annual commemorations are
held to strengthen the ties between
Canada and France. The Common-
wealth War Graves Cemetery at Les
Vertus is 5 kms south of Dieppe.
34
White cliffs of sandstone and flint.
The Canadian connection with
Dieppe began in the 16 century when
two explorers from this town, Aubert
and Verrazane, contributed to the
discovery of Canada. Fishing and fur
trading between the two countries
began in the 17th century. Dieppe
was the first port of call from Canada.
Three nuns from Dieppe belonging to
the Augustinian order opened the first
hospital in Quebec, Canada.
For those who would like to see
Dieppe without wearing out their feet,
a train trundles through town. But, for
the more adventurous, a little bird
emblem painted on the road guides
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
the tourist on a 3 km trek, which
includes historical and cultural sights
and provides many leisure activities
en route. We stopped at a park to
see a group of old men playing
Boules. A small red ball is targeted
by a large silver ball. Whoever hits
the red ball or is closest to the target
is the winner. A referee measures the
distances with a tape.
Summer is the best time to visit
Dieppe. It begins in March with the
festival of Visu (dance, theatre and
visual arts). In July is the Festival of
the Sea. The Kite Festival in
September ends the season.
Dieppe is the prettiest of the
Channel ports. Through the
centuries, it has been occupied by
Vikings, Normans and the English.
The Anglo-Dutch fleet razed the town
to the ground. But, like the proverbial
Phoenix, it sprang back to life after
France overthrew the English,
developed its channel ports and
prospered. It had a set-back during
World War II during the German
occupation, but was liberated in
1944.
Dieppe remains both a busy port
and a resort. There is always
something happening here. “It is a
wonderful place not just for a painter
who loves life, movement and
colour,” as Pissaro said, but for
everyone who loves the sea. We
 QA &
Q&
I am only 17 and am diabetic. My
beauty problem is my skin which is
dull and lifeless. Also from time to
time I get an attack of small pimple-
like rash which lasts for a fortnight
and at that time my skin feels very
oily. What should I do?
Diabetes is a serious problem and
at your age it is the hormonal
changes, the problems related to
diabetes and the medication you
must be taking for it – add that to the
pollution and other problems of the
weather and it is not easy for skin to
cope. Do consult a dermatologist for
the pimple-like rash and for the
oiliness of the skin.
Be attentive to your skin’s needs –
A
cleanse and tone regularly and avoid
make-up items like blusher and
compact.
If you exfoliate and massage
regularly your skin will improve. Also,
try to eat healthy foods that are
effective for your diabetes
management as well.
I have always had dandruff since I
was a teenager. I try different sham-
poos and conditioners and it goes
away for a few weeks and then
comes back. I am really tired of it and
want a permanent solution. What
should I do?
Uncured dandruff can lead to skin
problems that eventually affect other
parts of the body as well. If you have
tried different hair care products and
it keeps coming back it might be a
skin infection that needs medicated
products. Do consult a dermatologist
for a lasting solution. In the meantime
make a hair mask using dried neem
leaves and a teaspoon of sandal -
wood powder. Add a generous
amount of honey and mix with thick
yoghurt. Cover your scalp and pile
the hair on top for at least half an
hour. Wash away with gentle
products.
When I lost a lot of weight I got
terrible stretch marks on my arms
and stomach. They look very ugly
and although now I am slim I cannot
wear sleeveless or low saris. Is there
any permanent solution?
Sudden loss of weight, or
sometimes even with exercise, such
a dramatic weight loss will lead to
stretch marks. These can be covered
to a limited extent by careful
application of make-up but that is not
always possible, especially for arms.
You should think of approaching the
dresses with see-through arms, and
for a ‘permanent’ solution consult a
good cosmetic surgery person who
should take you through all your
options surgically.
I am confused about keeping my face
clean. I do use some make-up but
clean it every night. I want to know if I
should use an astringent and toner
every day after cleansing it with
cleansing milk?
You have not mentioned your
age. Irrespective of age though,
cleansing of skin at the end of the
day is always recommended. Often
washing it with a gentle soap and
removing all the make-up and grime
is sufficient.
When the skin is younger it does
not need a toner but as we mature
and nature is unable to produce all
the necessary detoxifying and
nourishing oils, it is necessary to aid
the skin by giving it products like a
mild soap-free cleanser, balancing
toner and a nourishing night cream.
When using cleansing milk ensure
that all residual cleaning agents are
removed from the skin.
 DECORATIVE GRASS
Furnishing with a natural grace.
B
amboo is the tallest grass
that takes a year to reach
its full height, which could
be as high as 30 to 40 feet.
It then hardens and matures
in the next four to seven
years before it can be used
to make bamboo blinds,
screens, curtains, fences
and furniture.
BAMBOO FURNITURE
Bamboo, being eco-friendly, is a
strong and tough material that resists
shrinkage and swelling and can
hence be used to make furniture. The
best part of the furniture is that it has
a style of its own. As the grass grows
quickly, it can be used regularly
without causing any damage to the
environment.
Bamboo has become a popular
product in recent years, and is
treated with high regard as a choice
for decorating a room, garden, and
above all a house. Though sturdy
and indestructible, it is easy to clean
and maintain.
Bamboo furniture is usually made
through a process of cutting strips of
bamboo, boiling them in order to
make them resilient to mildew and
bugs and then gluing the strips
together. After they are stuck together
edge to edge, the panels are pressed
36
together in order to make a multi-
layer resembling wood, which is then
shaped into any kind of furniture. This
kind of bamboo furniture resembles
hardwood furniture and is sold in both
light and dark shades and finishes.
Bamboo is used to make beds,
workstations, desks, tables, stools,
chairs, couches, kitchen cabinets,
bathroom cabinets, and more.
Bamboo can also be used for fencing
purposes in terrace flats and private
homes. Bamboo fencing adds a
touch of class to the garden it
outlines. But before erecting bamboo
fences, it is advisable to treat them
with a thin layer of UV-resistant stain
to prevent decay and weathering.
CLEANING IT
Bamboo needs to be cleaned just
like any other hardwood. Follow this
regimen to clean the furniture
● Dust the furniture regularly to
avoid dust from accumulating on the
furniture. Use a small dust brush or
cloth and simply wipe over the
surface to remove dust particles. The
furniture requires to be dusted at
least once a week.
● Once all the visible dirt is
removed, use a soft cloth or sponge
soaked in soap water to clean the
furniture. Avoid using detergents,
which contain chemicals to prevent
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
By Shilpa Shanbhag
damage to the surface of the bamboo
furniture.
● Protect your bamboo furniture
from the sun and rain as these may
damage it.
● Also, polish, wax and paint
your furniture regularly.
● Refrain from wetting your
furniture to prevent damage.
● At least once a year, do major
cleaning, which involves vacuuming
off the dust that may get deposited
in the crevices.
● Should you spill water or other
liquids on your furniture, make sure
you blot it dry immediately in order to
prevent staining.
● If the bamboo has cracked,
sand with a fine-grit sandpaper until
smooth and then rub with wax. This
should restore the piece to its original
colour and shine.
● Never sit on wet bamboo
because it is so soft that it can get
damaged or lose its shape. Wait for a
few days before you start using your
furniture after cleaning.
● By rubbing the furniture
periodically with linseed or other
furniture oil, the furniture’s shine can
be restored.
● To maintain the furniture’s
golden colour, a colourless lacquer
can be applied to protect it from dirt,
wear and tear and other harmful
conditions. We
 Chocolate cake with
fresh cherries

Fruits are all time CHOCOLATE wooden spoon till the sauce
begins to thicken. Put off the heat
favourites. Every CAKE WITH and allow the sauce to cool to
room temperature. Spread the
season has its FRESH sauce evenly on top of the cake

abundance to CHERRIES with a spatula.

Place the cake on the plate
INGREDIENTS: and keep the plate in the fridge at
offer. Enjoy the 1 kg chocolate or sponge cake least for 1 hour so that the sauce
300 gm fresh cherries for
seasonal fruits in decoration
settles down and thickens.
Just before serving spread out
different forms – For the chocolate sauce: the cherries over the chocolate
2 tbsp drinking chocolate sauce and serve cutting into
chilled, lukewarm 3 tsp sugar slices.

and served hot METHOD

Prepare the chocolate sauce:
when mingled By heating 1 cup of water. Lower
the heat and add the lukewarm
STEWED PEARS
with other water to the drinking chocolate IN SWEET
ingredients and
powder and stir till the powder is
dissolved in the water. Mix this MANGO PULP
into the remaining water and also INGREDIENTS:
pamper your add sugar to the water. Stir on low For the mango pulp:
taste buds. fire till the sugar melts and the
chocolate also mixes well into the
1 kg sweet mangoes
2 tsp sugar – optional
By Roma Ghosh sauce. Keep stirring with a 3-4 tbsp thick cream

Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010 37


Stewed pears in sweet mango pulp
For the stewed pears:
2 pears
3 tbsp sugar
1/ tsp cloves powder
4
For garnishing:
mint leaves
METHOD
Peel the mangoes, cut into
small pieces and run the mango
pieces, sugar and cream in a
mixer to obtain a smooth pulp.
Place on a serving dish and keep
in the fridge to chill.
Do not peel the pears. Cut into
eight pieces and remove the
seeds. Heat 200 ml of water and
add the sugar and stir till the Mint and cucumber refresher
sugar melts. Lower the heat
and mix in the cloves
powder.
Add the pear pieces and
cook on low fire, stirring
from time to time till the
pears begin to change
colour – this should take
around 3-4 minutes. Put off
the heat and remove the
pears from the syrup with a
slotted spoon.
Place 2 pieces on each
serving plate and top with a
portion of the mango pulp
and garnish with mint
leaves.
Serve chilled.
the seeds and cut into small
pieces. Place the cucumber
MINT AND pieces and 3-4 mint leaves and
the sugar and blend in a mixer to
CUCUMBER obtain a pulp.
Place in three soup bowls and
REFRESHER
place the bowls in the fridge for
(cold soup) the soup to chill. Divide the
remaining mint leaves into three
INGREDIENTS: portions and place in the soup
60 gm mint leaves bowls.
3-4 medium-sized cucumber Sprinkle the chilli flakes and stir
100 ml thick curd gently. Cut and core the apples
1/ tsp sugar
2 but do not peel the apples. Cut
1 tsp coarsely ground red chilli into small pieces just before you
flakes are ready to serve the soup.
1 apple Place small portions of the apple
METHOD pieces in the chilled soup and
Peel the cucumber and remove serve at once.

APPLES IN
MUSTARD
SAUCE
INGREDIENTS:
3-4 apples
For the mustard sauce:
3 tsp French mustard paste
1/ tsp sugar
2
METHOD
Cut the apples into eight
pieces and remove the seeds.
Do not peel the apples.
Mix the mustard sauce in 3
tbsp of lukewarm water and
keep the paste aside. Heat
another 100 ml of water in a
pan and lower the heat. Mix in
the sugar and the mustard
paste and stir gently. Put the
apple pieces in this mustard
syrup and cook the apples in
the sauce for 3-4 minutes or till
the sauce begins to thicken
slightly. Putt off the heat and
cool to room temperature.
Serve chilled with cold rice
noodles or with ice cream for
dessert.
Apples in mustard sauce
Stewed pineapple and cherries
with ice cream
STEWED
PINEAPPLE AND
CHERRIES WITH
ICE CREAM
INGREDIENTS:
6-7 pineapple slices
250 gm fresh cherries
2 tbsp sugar
3/ tsp cinnamon powder
4 pepper to taste
For serving:
ice cream
METHOD
Cut the pineapple slices
into halves or leave these
in circles. Heat 150 ml of
water and add the
sugar and the
cinnamon powder.
Stir gently till the
sugar melts. Add the
pineapple slices and
cook on low fire for 2-
3 minutes. Add the
cherries and continue to
boil for another minute.
Put off the heat. Serve the
pineapple and cherries with a
small portion of the syrup over
scoops of well-frozen ice cream.
POACHED
EGGS WITH
ORANGE
SAUCE
INGREDIENTS:
6 eggs
300 ml orange juice
salt to taste
oil for frying the eggs
1/ tsp cinnamon powder
2
METHOD
Heat oil in a non-stick pan and
fry the eggs sunny side up. Turn
the egg gently so that the yolk is
cooked from the top as well. Fry
all the eggs in this way adding salt
and pepper to each egg before
you turn these over. Place the
fried eggs in an oven-proof dish.
In the pan in which you have fried
the eggs add the orange juice and
bring to boil adding the cinnamon
powder.
Boil the orange juice on low fire
for 2-3 minutes and then pour
over the poached eggs.
Place the oven dish in an oven
and bake for only 3-4 minutes in a
 Toss gently and place on a
CHICKEN serving dish and serve as a salad
SALAD WITH at room temperature.

LITCHEES
INGREDIENTS: WATERMELON
300 gm boneless chicken
salt to taste AND CUCUMBER
Poached eggs with orange sauce 1 tsp vinegar
3 tbsp olive oil
REFRESHER
300 gm peeled litchees WITH MINT
1 cup full watermelon pieces
INGREDIENTS:
– without the seeds and
2 cups watermelon pieces –
peels
without the peel and seeds
1 cup watermelon pieces –
2 cups cucumber pieces –
peeled and seeded and cut
without the peel and seeds
into cubes 1/ tsp pepper powder
1 tsp pepper powder 2
1 tsp chaat
1 tsp coarsely ground chilli
masala
powder
mint leaves
1 tsp oregano powder
METHOD
METHOD
Run the water-
Sprinkle salt and vinegar
melon and cucu -
on the chicken pieces and set
mber pieces and
Chicken salad
aside for 10 minutes. Heat
pepper powder
with litches the olive oil in a non-stick pan
and chaat masala
and add the chicken and fry
preheated oven at 180 degree C in a mixer and
on low fire for 2-3 minutes.
and serve at once. blend. Pour into
Sprinkle a few drops of water and
If you do not want to use the glasses and chill.
cover with a lid. Continue to cook
oven you can heat the eggs Throw in a few mint
till the chicken is tender. Put off
slightly before serving in the leaves into each glass
the heat and sprinkle the pepper
microwave for 30 seconds. and serve as a summer
and chilli powder and oregano.
Serve with noodles or steamed refresher.
Place the chicken pieces in a Watermelon and
rice. mixing bowl and add the fruits. cucumber refresher
with mint

STEWED and discard the seeds. Heat 250

ml of water and add the
PEACHES WITH sugar and the cinnamon
powder. Stir till the sugar
MINT melts. Add the peach
INGREDIENTS: halves and cook on low
12-14 peaches – good quality temperature for 4-5 minutes.
sweet peaches – big size Put off the heat and peel off
3 tbsp sugar the skin gently. Place on a
1/ tsp cinnamon powder serving plate and sprinkle a
2
portion of the syrup over the
For garnishing:
peach halves and chill in the
mint leaves
fridge for one hour. Serve chilled
METHOD garnished with mint leaves as a
Cut the peaches into halves dessert.
Stewed peaches with mint
 Sprouts, musk
melon and water
melon salad

RASGOLLAS
BAKED WITH
MANGO PUREE
INGREDIENTS:
6-8 rasgollas
1 kg sweet good quality
mangoes
11/2 cup milk
11/2 tbsp brown sugar
METHOD
Peel the mangoes and cut into
small pieces. Place the pieces in
a mixer and grind to a puree. Add
the milk and run the mixer once
again. Place the rasgollas on a
baking dish and pour the mango
Rasgollas baked with mango puree
puree over the rasgollas. Sprinkle
the brown sugar and place in a
preheated oven at 180 degree C
for 10 -12 minutes or until the
sugar just about begins to melt.
Serve hot or at room
temperature or even chilled.
SPROUTS,
MUSK MELON
AND WATER-
MELON
SALAD
INGREDIENTS:
200 gm sprouts
1 cup full watermelon pieces –
without the seeds and peels
1 cup watermelon pieces –
peeled and seeded and cut into
cubes
1 cup cucumber cut into small
pieces – with the peel
1 or more green capsicum cut
into small pieces
2-3 tomatoes cut into small
pieces – optional
2 tsp lemon juice
1 tsp pepper powder
1 tsp coarsely ground chilli
powder
1 tsp oregano powder
METHOD
Mix all the ingredients together
and serve in a shell of water
melon which has been scooped
out.
If the salad is chilled before
serving, it tastes better.

the peanut
MUSK MELON butter in a mixer
WITH PEANUT to a fine paste.
Remove to a
BUTTER SAUCE butter dish and
place in a fridge.
INGREDIENTS: Keep in the
400 gm musk melon fridge till time for
100 gm peanut butter use.
2 tsp sugar powder Spread on
METHOD pieces of bread
Peel the musk melon and and enjoy the
remove the seeds and cut into spread between
small pieces. Run the musk slices of bread Musk melon with
melon pieces, sugar powder and like a sandwich. peanut butter sauce
 CARAMELISED
PEACHES
WITH ICE
CREAM
INGREDIENTS:
10-12 peaches of good quality
Burger patties and big size
with crushed
pineapple and 3 tbsp sugar
apple sauce 1/ tsp cloves powder
2

pieces and the pineapple pieces For serving:

Aam pana sweet rice in a mixer. Heat 100 ml of water ice cream
and add the sugar, cinnamon and METHOD
the crushed fruit. Cook on low fire Cut the peaches into halves
for 3-4 minutes and the sauce will and remove the seeds.
begin to thicken. Cool at room Heat 6-7 tbsp water and then
temperature and serve with add the sugar and the cloves
patties or burgers. powder, cook on low fire for 2
minutes stirring all the time. Add
the peach halves and cook on
AAM PANA low fire till all the water is
SWEET RICE evaporated and the sugar
caramelises and sticks to the
INGREDIENTS: peach halves. Put off the heat
1 cup long-grained rice and cool to room temperature.
BURGER 2 tsp sugar
2 tbsp ghee
Serve with ice cream. You
could keep the peaches full
PATTIES WITH 1 inch-piece cinnamon
2 cloves
instead of cutting into halves if

CRUSHED 1 cup thick aam pana

you so wish. We

Caramelised peaches with ice cream

PINEAPPLE AND
APPLE SAUCE
This is a tasty sauce which can
be spread over burger patties or
served with pakoras or with
vegetable or non-vegetarian
patties.
INGREDIENTS:
For the sauce:
2 apples
6-7 slices pineapples
2 tsp sugar
1 tsp cinnamon powder
METHOD
You may or may not peel the
apples. Cut into small pieces and
remove the seeds. Run the apple
concentrate
For garnishing:
almonds
METHOD
Soak the rice in water for 20
minutes. Drain and keep aside.
Heat the ghee and add the
whole spices and allow to
splutter. Add the soaked rice
and fry on medium heat for 2
minutes. In the meantime add
one cup of water to the aam
pana concentrate and mix
well. Add this aam pana and
water mixture to the rice and stir
gently. Lower the heat and cook
on low heat till all the water is
evaporated. Serve garnished with
almonds as a sweet pulao.
SUMMER
& MONSOON
BEAUTY CARE
How to glow in heat and humidity.
S
By Ameeta Sharma
easonal change brings the
necessity of variation in
one’s beauty-care regime.
Gone are the cold days of
extra-dry skin in winter
where the use of the right
cream makes a lot of
difference in the way your
skin feels to the touch. The
present situation is moisture
loss of skin, a dull flaky look and
extra-oily skin. With the sweating, the
hair too becomes greasy and needs
to be washed more frequently.
Beauty care has to be tweaked to suit
the climatic change.
Unchanging problem: While
season change brings a difference in
temperature or humidity what
remains unchanged in urban India is
the pollution and harmful rays of the
sun which create havoc for the skin.
These have to be tackled on a
regular basis. So the early addition
in the regime for adolescents creates
a habit that keeps them aware and
active to take charge of their own
personal care.
Combating the sun: Something
as simple as using an umbrella while
out in the sun is extremely helpful
during summer. SPF with a minimum
strength of 30 is recommended for
people who have sensitive skin and
need to be in the sun for their daily
activities or go on two-wheelers for
long distances.
At least twice a week, or
preferably every alternate day, using
lemon juice on your face and neck
as also hands and other parts of the
body that are exposed to the sun
helps with the suntan reduction.
Apply directly with cotton wool and
wash off after 15 to 20 minutes.
Balanced diet: As the saying
goes – you are what you eat.
Consuming a balanced diet is
extremely important during these
months which drain your inner
reserves of water content. Seasonal
fruits like watermelon and melons,
and vegetables like cucumber and
gourd (lauki) are extremely good for a
balanced diet.
If you have a problem with
diabetes then balancing with
sugar has to be done. Green
leafy vegetable like spinach
are also very good for the
stomach. Avoid extra fat as
digestion is sluggish in these
months, and consume
buttermilk rather than full fat
milk.
Facials and massages:
Heavy creams or essential oils
are best avoided in this season
as overloading your skin with
pore clogging creams is not
going to do it any good. You
need moisture, not necessarily
oil.
Before you decide on
products to use on your skin, it
is recommended you know
your skin type. It might be oily,
dry or a combination with a T
zone (this is when the nose
and forehead area is oily while
the rest of the face skin is dry).
If you have the problem of
open pores, always use an ice
pack after steaming your face
or removing the blackheads.
Adding a few drops of
rosewater will have
refreshing effect on the skin.
Use a lighter cream or oil for
body massage as well. Oil can
be diluted with adding water
and mixing well to spread it
evenly.
Joys of exfoliation:
Removal of dead skin is
mandatory for healthy skin.
Also, if you use make-up then
if the base is clear and well
cared for, the products you use
on your face would reflect that
inner beauty and the effect will
be far better.
As the skin breathes,
pollution deposits particles on
the surface, the top layer of the
skin becomes listless and dull.
Exfoliators for the body scrub
are often harsh as the skin on
our arms, legs, hands and feet
is thickest. However, face
exfoliation mix needs to be
softer and must be used gently
not in a harsh rough
movement.
A home-made product is
economical and allows you
fresh ingredients. Soaked
almonds can be blended
roughly and mixed with raw
milk, a dash of honey and
some oatmeal powder for face
and neck exfoliation. Masur
pink daal can be soaked for a
few hours and then put through
a blender mixed with rough
oatmeal for the body. While
body exfoliating is best done
with vigorous movements to
improve the blood circulation,
movements on the face should
be smaller, gentler and must
never pull the skin down but
massaged upwards.
Cleansing and toning
ritual: Off-the-shelf beauty
products promise instant
results but it is the regular use
that will really give you lasting
benefits. While one feels like
washing one’s face with soap
more than twice a day, that
practice will not benefit you in
a the long run as the harsh soap
or face wash imbalances the
Ph of the skin and makes it dry.
Opt for a soap-free face
wash and select a good toner
for your skin type. A toner with
alcohol needs to be avoided as
it strips the skin of all that you
need for a healthy skin. Home
remedies include using raw
tomato juice for cleansing and
toning the facial and neck skin.
Right moisture: While the
skin might feel oily, when you
wash or wipe it, the surface
does become dry. Heavy
creams that are needed for the
winter months are best packed
away for some time and lighter
lotions are the call of the day. If
you have extra-oily skin, you
could make your own lotion of
a water base to which a few
drops of lavender oil are
added. Splash on your face
and then pat dry.
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010 45
A MAKE-UP ARTIST’S VIEW
Ankit Kumar, or Sonu to his
friends, is a freelance make-up artist
in Delhi who has worked on
photography assignments, fashion
shoots, bridal makeovers,
magazines, film and television
including NDTV, National Geographic
and the BBC. He has also worked
with celebrities and cine stars such
as Irfan Khan and Dino Morea. His
experience in the make- up industry
allows him to see how to make the
most of an individual’s face and
highlight their best features
Your advice to base skin
preparation for evening make-up
during heat and monsoon when
skin sweats and make-up tends to
slide.
It’s a fact that make-up will
smudge and streak if it’s applied too
heavily. There are also some
interesting make-up primers in the
market which can be applied on a
clean and moisturised face. A
concealer under the eyes is effective
as well as a light foundation in liquid
or cream form is good for evening
use in this weather. This can be
dabbed onto the skin gently and
sparingly with a slightly damp make-
up sponge starting from the middle
of your face outwards. Then you can
apply your make-up which should
then stay longer on your face.
Your opinion on colours of eye
make-up that suits everybody –
most Indian skin tones that is.
Black eye shadow and then a
touch of colour such as
brown, beige, raisin or
a grey add a touch of
grading and will make
the black eye-shadow
less harsh or severe on
the eyes. This trick
works for most Indian
skin tones, especially in the
evenings. For day-wear, just a pencil
eyeshadow works well.
Say something about make-up
removal and how to keep skin
supple in general.
If you leave make-up on your face
longer than necessary, it may clog up
the pores of your skin. So it’s best to
remove traces with a regular make-
up remover. Do not use baby wipes.
A gentle eye make-up remover is a
good purchase and avoid rubbing the
areas of your face. Use gentle
strokes to remove make-up.
Avoid toners which are quite
astringent to the skin. They may strip
the skin of its natural oils. Try to
choose a cleanser which is based on
your skin type. For example, a very
dry skin could benefit from a
cleansing oil or an oil based cleanser.
What would you suggest
specifically for lips – especially to
stop bleeding of lipstick when
women want to use gloss over the
lips?
Dust the lips lightly with a face
powder, then use a lip liner close to
the tone colour of your lips to outline
them. Fill with a nude or neutral
shade of matte lip colour similar to
the colour of your lips, then apply a
small dab of lip gloss to the centre of
the lips. Press the lips together to
evenly distribute the gloss. This
should prevent bleeding of the lip
gloss or feathering outside of your lip
line.
Any specific tip – even about
how and where to apply the
perfume during these
months as some of
the alcohol-based
perfumes tend to burn
the freshly washed
skin?
It’s good to apply
perfume before wearing
any expensive clothing.
Fragrances should be
sprayed on one’s pulse
points which are the
wrists, behind the ears,
at the base of the
throat, the cleavage and the insides
of your elbows.
If you apply perfume on your
wrists, don’t rub the wrists together
as it will break down the
scent of the fragrance and smell
different.
Light fragrances with lemony and
fresh citrus tones, colognes and eau
de toilettes are less concentrated and
ideal for summer.
Suggest any face pack for
a quick-fix before going out in
the evening for a 'natural glow'.
The right face pack depends on
your skin type. For dry skin, a rose-
based face pack such as a ripe
banana mashed with rose water can
be applied on the face and washed
off after 15 minutes.
For oily skin, lemon or orange peel
mixed with curds and applied on the
face for 15 minutes is effective in
reducing blemishes. Chick pea
powder mixed with water is a great
homemade pack for combination
skin.
Above all, water intake is one of
the best beauty products all year
round and especially in the summer.
Drinking enough will help replenish
the skin and retain moisture.
 Use of yogurt in the face pack
would supply the right amount of
grease to the skin. Add half a tsp
of sandalwood powder or cinnamon
powder to this to give your skin an
ethereal glow.
Always use a moisturiser before
going to bed at night to repair the
day’s damage to the skin.
Face packs: If your skin is very
oily, use Fuller’s earth, or multani
mitti, as a base for a face pack.
Face packs should be done at least
once a week for best effect. Fruit
packs made with a mashed ripe
banana or overripe papaya are
good. Fresh pineapple juice is also
good and may be mixed with a tsp
of honey to give it the ability to stick
to the skin.
After applying the face pack
relax for about 20 minutes and then
wash off with tepid water. Using
very cold or warm water is
avoidable in the summer and
monsoon period as it damages skin
and does not make it feel
rejuvenated.
Make-up and cosmetics:
Selection of products through the
summer and monsoon months is very
important. Especially in the monsoon,
it is best to use waterproof eye make-
up to avoid accidental running of the
make-up. Eyeliners and mascaras
are the worst affected in this weather.
For eye make-up select a pencil
eye shadow over powders as they
might get cracked during the day.
Lipsticks need to be moisturising and
lighter colours to suit the weather
rather than deep, dark browns or
reds.
Avoid heavy foundation and face
powders as, with sweat, they tend to
become runny and end up looking
patchy. Creamier blush-on or a
bronzing powder is best for the
season. If you are particularly fond
of lip gloss, remember to line your
lips with a nude lip pencil to avoid
bleeding lipstick.
To remove excess sweat and
oily residue on your nose and
forehead, use face blotters that
some international make-up
use frequently-used products for the
correct effect.
At least once a fortnight, oil your
hair and give it the hot towel
treatment for deeper penetration.
Some hair rinses work for all hair
types – add the juice of one lemon
to the last rinse of your hair for a
squeaky clean feel of the scalp.
Get your hair trimmed for split
ends and keep a fuss-free style for
summer. A high ponytail or short
haircut works for most face shapes.
Mostly, what works for your face
also works well for the scalp and
hair. If you are using hair dye or
henna, nourishing hair treatments
are good to stop hair from damage
and becoming brittle. We
companies make. If you are using
tissue paper, avoid rubbing it as
that will ruin all colour balance of
the make-up. Just blot with the
tissue and always check that no
paper is left behind stuck on your
face.
Hair care: A beauty regime
is never complete without hair
care. Use of products
appropriate for your hair type
is highly recommended. If
your hair is fine, use products
that will not weigh it
down. If your
scalp feels itchy
and oily, and
you need to
shampoo it more
often than others,
DO YOU SHOP TILL
YOU DROP?
WANNA
KNOW WHY?
How relentlessly the
ads arouse your emotions to buy,
M
without thinking. By Rumy Agarwal
arketing gurus have never
had it so good – the world
consumer goods is their
oyster and they have the
customers just how they
want them: putty in their
hands! No, really, I am not
being hyperbolical – it is a
plain simple fact. Look
around you – most of the
things that you are surrounded by are
there as a result of your conscious
decision to procure them in
preference to other similar articles.
Which means that we buy the things
we do because they are:
● good, economical, give their
money’s worth (the common sense –
but boring! – reasons);
● fashionable (must have them
’cos everybody else – or those that
matter in our social circuit – has
them);
● of the latest technology and
are, therefore, a cut above the rest;
● attractively packaged or
endorsed by some celebrity (pretty
inane reasons for spending dough
but, we know, the human mind works
in strange ways at times).
And how have we arrived at these
conclusions or picked these reasons
for shopping? This is how. Conscio-
usly or unconsciously, we let our -
selves be guided and our thinking be
influenced by the very persuasive
clan of advertisers working in perfect
48
tandem with product
desig ners. This
means the products
and their advertise -
ments sneak into our
psyche, mould our
thinking, and guide
our actions. Hmm...
seems like copy -
writers and product
designers can make
the world’s best
preachers or spiritual
gurus!
Anyway, as I was saying, our urge electronic media. Pretty awesome, I’d
to splurge is quite effectively a say, to be able to creep into the
product of all the smart whipper - crevices of a nation’s collective
snapper lines this combo tribe unconscious and influence its
badgers us with via the print and spending behaviour! Which is why
the psychodynamics of ad-making
and the psychology of marketing
INTERESTINGLY, fascinate me – how the hell do these
THE LOOK OF THE people push the right buttons to get
PACKAGE ALSO HAS AN us to loosen our purse-strings? How
do they motivate us to buy one brand
ENORMOUS IMPACT ON instead of an other? Which instincts
ITS PERCEIVED QUALITY. of ours do they appeal to? Which
emotional strings do they play on?
AN EYE-CATCHING These and many such questions flew
PACKAGE ALMOST about in my mind like bats in a belfry
SUMMARILY TRANSLATES and I thought, why not thrash out the
psychology of product marketing?
INTO SUPERIORITY Yeah, why not? And guess what I
OF THE PRODUCT OR discovered!
VERACITY OF ITS Each damn jar, tube, pouch, box,
bottle on the store shelves has been
CLAIMS! carefully designed and packaged to
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
appeal to a particular emotion, a
specific instinct in the core, of the
shopper’s being – in the buyer’s inner
self, so to speak. Ads, especially,
almost challenge you to prove that
you are (a) either a good parent who
values his/her child’s well-being
above all else, (b) a doting wife who
settles for nothing but the best for her
husband, (c) the complete man who
can, in spite of a tight schedule,
spend quality time with his family and
even his dogs without a wrinkle on
his forehead or even his
immaculately pressed suit, or (d) the
handsome dude or the glamorous
chick who leaves a trail of drool in his
or her wake, and so on. It is like,
“Hey, if you care about this, that or
the other, you’d be using XYZ
product,” implying that if you are not,
you are a scumbag!
Holy cow! Products are designed
with such meticulous attention to the
minutest detail simply to ensure that
buyers are tempted to see beyond
the label and the packaging and
grasp the inherent message which
has been targeted either at some
particular aspect of their
personality, or their
unacknowledged aspirations,
or even their secret dreams.
So much so that when you
pay cash over the counter,
you are led to believe you
are exchanging it for more
than a product, you are
actually buying an attitude or
even a set of beliefs! For
instance, a cricket enthusiast
almost involuntarily reaches
for a jar of Boost when
buying drinking chocolate, as if to
reinforce his love for Sachin or
Sehwag or whoever to endorse his
inner desire to be like them. Of
course, all this “activity” goes on at
a subconscious level but is very
powerful in achieving the desired
result.
Interestingly, the look of the
package also has an enormous
impact on its perceived quality. An
eye-catching package almost
summarily translates into superiority
of the product or veracity of its
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
claims! Check out the yummy-looking
Domino’s pizzas or McDonald’s
burgers – don’t they make your
mouth water?
Of course, brand names also have
a lot to do with the consumer
accepting a product. Big names
which have built up a reputation on a
tradition of trust undoubtedly have
the cutting edge in consumer
preference. We somehow believe
that these big daddies won’t sell us
inferior quality products. It is a belief
which the manufacturers have
worked hard to instil and even harder
to live up to. So they deserve to reap
the profits.
Colour schemes are important in
product packaging. Bright colours
such as yellow, red or luminous
green aggressively grab your
attention but do not necessarily
guarantee purchase of such vividly
chromatic goods. Somehow, even
though buyers are attracted by
brightly-coloured articles, they prefer
some subdued or mellowed colours
on the packages which are brought
home, maybe because they are more
soothing to the eye and
hence more relaxing for the
nerves. And it is
understandable that a
person wants the entire
ambience of his home to
have healing properties to
help the person unwind after
a long day. In fact, for that
matter, feminine forms such
as circles and ovals which
suggest completeness,
receptiveness and enclosure
have the most positive
connotations and are, therefore,
extensively used as the underlying
theme for many packages. Interes-
ting, eh ?
Equally illuminating is the fact that
buying is actually a coping mechanism
that humans resort to in order to deal
with fears and desires that are difficult
to acknowledge and deal with. See,
marketing psychologists have a wide
gamut of human emotions to choose
from. So, next time you reach for a
product, remember that you have
been lured to it – and admit it, you are
loving it! We
49
 Stylishly long
Whether it is long
or short, its
charm is the thing
that matters. Style
dominates the
scene, so you
look scintillating

Different Cuts
and sexy.
 Longish and longer Urban-Afro style
A parting that falls over

Styled for the times An attractive bun

The curl that sucks in

Do gentlemen really prefer the blonde?
described a beauteou
wh
as easy as it is ima king and
Making hairstyle st gined. A lot

planning goes into s hairdo.

of imaginative thin at can be
atement is not
STORY
SHORT

Hema’s Choice
When a village girl has to choose between two conflicting proposals...
By Anil Kumar Panda

A
n arrow of light emerged from behind the already gone to the field. ‘He should at least wake
hill, which stood like a wall across the me up,’ she muttered to herself. She ran to the
eastern periphery of the village. The glow backyard, to the empty shed and collected
extended from the top of the hill to the middle cowdung. She cleaned the ropes, spread dry straw
of the sky, piercing through a large chunk of on the floor for the cows to sleep on and began to
cloud having frayed edges. The sun was gather the clothes to be washed. The toothless old
about to appear as the strand of light woman sitting on the verandah smiled at her as she
lowered and kissed the vast stretch of undulating closed the doors behind her. As she alighted the
fields — the sweating farmers were already tilling, stairs, a squirrel ran past her towards the old
walking leisurely behind the demure oxen. The cattle banyan tree. It stopped in the middle of its trunk,
grazing at a distance looked like dots on a canvass. teased her by blinking its eyes before getting lost
As they grazed, the dew-washed thin blades of amidst thick leaves.
grasses stung their nostrils which they cleared with

their hooves or by shaking their heads violently. The
squirrels got alert and paused to look at the cows
with their tails swinging in the air. The birds
emerged from their nests in droves and
made somersaults in the air. Sometimes,
they would perch on the heads of the cows
and pry for the twisting worms in the
grasses.
Holding a pot at her waist, the wife of
the farmer walked indolently towards the
river, pausing and playing with dew till
her friends caught up with her. They
gathered at the river and bowed their
heads towards the flame of orange that
filled the horizon. Somewhere, a farmer
played his flute sitting under a tree. The
cows held their heads up and let the girls
caress their necks and kiss their foreheads.
their clothes theAs
The women let loose the knots of hairs and
shook their heads gently. They blushed as
crumpled petals of henna rolled over their bodies
and got strewn in the sands.
The rooster crowed, standing on one leg over a
dunghill below the half-opened windows. Hema got
up from the bed. She cursed herself for sleeping late. cows had already returned from the field and were
Standing at the windows, she inhaled the morning
air. The banks of the river would have been
crowded, she thought. She took the broom and
began to sweep the floor hurriedly. Her father had
T
he river was already crowded when Hema
reached there. The women had taken their
baths and were collecting their clothes to
return. Girls of her age were washing
clothes sitting on stones and sands, talking
The river and laughing. On the other side of the river
was already men and children plunged into the water
crowded from a high rock sending out waves.
when Hema Squeezing petticoats between their legs, the
reached girls entered the water. They held each
there. The other’s hands so that the slipping sands
women had would not pull them down. They held water
taken their in the cups of their palms and threw it over
baths and their heads, creating rainbows. The drops
were of water hung onto their tresses like nuggets
collecting of diamonds.
the sun began to turn white behind
mango trees and the dew disappeared
to return. from the tip of the bent grass, the river fell
silent. Hema took her bath, gathered the
clothes, tweaked the cheeks of the girl bathing
beside her and walked towards her home with water
dripping from her dress. She walked up to the
verandah and opened the doors of her house. The
chewing the cud leisurely, sitting on the verandah.
As she rushed to the courtyard the cows followed
her. She hung the clothes on the string in the
courtyard. The cows mooed in the shed and beat the

52 Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010

earth with their hooves. She entered the kitchen and
brought the pot of rice water. As the cows dipped
their tongues into the pot, Hema caressed their
necks. She tethered them to the poles, cleaned the
pot with ash, placed it in the sun to dry and, sitting
in front of the mirror, began to comb her hair. Her
father must be coming now. Outside, she could hear
the shouts of the children coming back from school.
Her father must be coming behind them.
She had kept watered rice cooked the previous
night. Her father would love to have it with chilli and
onion. Hema would look at her father as he dipped
his calloused palm into the bowl, rolled the handful
of rice into a ball and put it into his mouth. He
looked so innocent. Hema would look at his stony
and shining face as if that had been cut and
polished with utmost care. “She has your eyes and
nose and chin, just like that of a pigeon,” she had
heard her mother saying about her to him while
plaiting her hair.
S
ometimes the rice water would get spilled out of
the bowl as his thoughts flew into the future —
when Hema would be wed and he would have
little grandchildren. Tears gathered at the corners of
his eyes as the face of his wife appeared from
nowhere and he felt the walls of the house shaking
with their laughter. As his thoughts evaporated, his
eyes would fall on Hema who was staring at him for
spoiling his dress with rice water. He
would straighten himself, hold back
the tears and begin to eat like a
child. That stare of Hema’s
reminded him of her mother.
Her father should have arrived by now. She
opened the doors and alighting the stairs, walked a
short distance from where the field was visible. The
sun had reached the middle of the sky. Keeping her
hand over her eyes to ward off the sun, she looked
towards the field. The field seemed empty except for
one or two cows grazing under the trees.
‘He must have gone to the river to take a bath,’
she thought. The village dogs looked at her
expectantly with their tongues dangling and
breathing heavily. The street looked deserted as the
village folks had finished their meals and retired to
their mud houses. She got suspicious. She decided
to take a walk towards the river — to see if her
father was really there.
S
he closed the doors, stood in front of the mirror
and looked at herself. Clouds of dark tresses
ran down to her waist. Two strands, like two
tender creepers, hung on either sides of her
forehead, making half moons by the sides of her
eyes. She pushed them back and pinned them over
her head. Tiny drops of perspiration stuck to the
eyelashes and shone like diamonds. The lips were
as thin as petals and quivered to open up. She was
already 17 and looked like the most beautiful girl in
the village. Her eyes fell on the photograph of her
mother — smiling at her from inside the wooden
frame. Her mother’s eyes looked like two butterflies.
‘If those eyes were alive,’ she thought, ‘she would
like to hold them in her palms for ever.’ The villagers
often said that Hema’s eyes had the same
mysteriousness and depth of her mother’s.
She heard someone calling her father’s name
outside. Someone might have brought some news
from her father? She opened the doors
and found Sadhu, the peon of the
village school, standing in front of
her. His eyes stayed fixed on
Hema’s face for a while. He
was thin, dark and wore a cap
that looked as old as him,
about 60 years. Wisps of
thin white hairs hung loose
at the periphery of the
cap and his eyes were
covered with thick
glasses.
“Where is
Madhab?” he
asked, bending his
head to one side.
“Not yet returned
from the field I
think?” His senile
frame seemed to fall
on Hema. Her father and Sadhu had been friends She opened it and saw her father standing in
for long. Sadhu used to come to her house quite front of her. His body had turned black and was
often. He would drink tea with her father sitting on glistening with sweat. A drop of perspiration was
the verandah. They would talk for hours on various hanging from the tip of his nose. He handed over
things — about rain, the slow progress of the hoe and basket to Hema and sitting on the floor
government’s various schemes in the village, about began to wipe his body with his cloth. Hema put the
each other’s family — till Hema’s mother would hoe and the basket in a corner and asked her father
shout at them as the cows seemed restless in the if he wanted some water. He nodded. She went into
shed for fodder, and lamps were to be lit. kitchen and came with a bowl of water.
“Not yet, uncle,” said Hema. She looked anxious “Where have you been?” she asked handing
and expected news of her father from Sadhu. over the bowl. He bent forward a little and began to
“Come inside. I will make you some tea.” wash his face. “Where have you been?” she said
“No, no, daughter. I have so much work in the again looking at his face.“Have you given rice
school,” Sadhu adjusted his cap by pulling it a little water to the cows?” Madhab asked without
towards his forehead. answering her. “I forgot to tell you that I might be
“But you can sit till he returns.” late as I had to go to the other side of the river — to
“My goodness! Don’t say that. I don’t expect him the master’s house,” said Madhab, standing with his
to come soon and the headmaster will throw me out back to Hema and wiping his face.
of the school gate if I sit here and drink tea from the “Don’t bother about the cows. I have given them
hands of my daughter,” said Sadhu. rice water and fodder. I also washed the shed with
“He must be coming. He must be feeling tired in cowdung,” her tone seemed a little rude.
this heat,” said Hema looking towards the “Don’t get angry, my darling daughter,
river. and give me something to eat.”
“The rain is about to come in a few Hema sat He dusted the place on the floor and
days. He might have gone to buy seeds,” near the cot squatted down. She sat in front of him
said Sadhu. He came down from the with a pile putting the bowls of rice between them. He
verandah and stood in the middle of the of clothes to put one morsel after another into his mouth
road. as if he had been hungry for days. “It is
“He did not tell me anything when he darn. Off due to that old man,” he began to say with
went out of the house. How could I know?” and on, the a morsel in his mouth, half eaten, “who had
Hema said. Her eyebrows danced like mooing of visited us last week.” Hema nodded
leaves in the wind. cows could looking into his eyes. “He is a very learned
“Tell Madhab that our headmaster be heard man and had been to great places to learn
wants to talk to him. He should come to Sanskrit in his youth.” As Madhab talked
school during the recess hour today,” said
from the his eyes got wider.
Sadhu turning towards Hema. “Don’t shed. “So?” Hema asked with a look of
forget to tell him. It is urgent and that’s why innocence in her eyes.
I myself have come to give this message.” Madhab ran his hand inside the bowl
for rice, felt sure that no grain was left, lifted the

H
ema wanted Sadhu to stay till her father bowl to his mouth and drank the rice water. It
returned. She saw him walking down the hot formed a ring around his lips, which he wiped with
and dusty path in hurried paces till he his thumb. “His son will be coming from the town
vanished behind the cluster of huts at the edge of the this month. The old man along with his wife and son
village. would come to see you, maybe this month,” he put
She closed the doors and sat on the cot waiting the bowl in front of him and looked at Hema. She
for her father. Tears welled up in her eyes. She said nothing and went on eating quietly.
could hear the desperate cry of a hungry dog in the “It is up to you. I have nothing to say. The
backyard. The day was getting hotter. villagers say that the boy has a great appetite for
Hema picked up a broom and started to gather learning and would return to the village after having
the cobwebs that had accumulated at the corners of finished some medical course at the college. You
the roof. Inside the holes in the walls, the pigeons know we don’t have such a college in our village,”
shook their bodies, looked at Hema with dreamy Madhab stopped to take a breath. “They say he
eyes and fell into a daze. She gathered the webs into would earn in thousands after that.” He waited for
a knot and was about to go to the backyard when Hema to say something. She finished her rice and
she heard the knocks on the door. Throwing the began to collect the utensils. Then she got up, held
sticky ball into a pot she rushed to the door. the utensils in front of her face so that her eyes could

54 Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010

not meet her father’s and, smiling to herself, strutted
away to the backyard where, upon a stone, she sat
down and began to rub ash on the bowls.
S
he found her father seated on the cot made of
wood and coconut rope. Suddenly, she
remembered Sadhu’s visit. “Sadhu had come to
tell that you must see the headmaster,” Hema said,
cursing herself for forgetting to give the news. “You
should see him at the school during the recess hour.”
“When had he come?” he asked. “What more
did he say?”
“Nothing more. He was in a hurry and did not sit
even for tea,” she said.
“Let me take a nap first,” said Madhab and,
placing his hands under his head, he began to
snore.
Hema sat near the cot with a pile of clothes to
darn. Off and on, the mooing of cows could be
heard from the shed. The pigeons ruffled their wings
as gusts of hot wind set their bodies on fire. Beads of
perspiration ran down the temple of Hema, one after
another, and fell on the cloth she was sewing.
Sometimes, the sweat gathered on her eyelashes
and blurred her vision. She would place the cloth on
the floor, wipe the eye with the edge of her frock,
take a deep breath and resume her work.
The thought of getting married and leaving the
house and her father worried her. How would the
life on the other side of the river be, she wondered.
She remembered the old man whom she had seen in
the village market walking with an umbrella in one
hand and a bag in the other. He looked so simple
and innocent and his forehead was smeared with
thick sandalwood paste. The villagers treated him
with great respect. They went to him to
seek advice if they were in trouble.
‘Did his son look like him?’ she
wondered. ‘How would
life in the town be?
How could I face
the girls in the river
when the news
spread in the
village?” She blushed. She looked at her father who
was sleeping peacefully, and smiled. How would his
life be without her? Who would sweep the floor and
wash the utensils? Her thoughts got interrupted as
the cot creaked when Madhab turned over.
She woke him up so that he could reach the
school before it closed. Madhab washed his face,
told Hema not to forget to give fodder and water to
the cows, combed his hair and went to the school
closing the doors behind him. The colour of the sun
was beginning to turn red at its fringe as it hung
between the treetops and the horizon. The farmers
were getting ready to go to the barns to thresh
paddy.
C
ome, Madhab, come, said the headmaster
when he saw Madhab standing in front of his
office. “I was waiting for you.”
He was sitting on a wooden chair behind a table
which looked quite old and was covered with a
plastic sheet. The headmaster wore a pair of thick
glasses having a dark frame. A few books and
notebooks lay scattered on the table and a pen was
lying open on a sheet of half-written paper.
He gestured to Madhab to sit on a stool in front of
him, he closed the pen and put away the paper he
was writing on. Though the sun was about to touch
the horizon in the western sky, it was still hot inside
the room. A ceiling fan with twisted blades was
whirring labouriously from the ceiling. Sometimes,
whiffs of winds entered the room through the
windows and lifted the pages of the calendar on the
wall.
“Madhab, I want to talk to you about Hema,”
said the headmaster taking off his glasses and
cleaning his eyes with his middle finger and thumb.
Madhab shifted on the stool and nodded his
head. He was about to say something when the
headmaster said, “Yes, yes. I had sent Sadhu to you.
How is Hema? I have not seen her since she left the
school.”
Madhab said nothing. His eyes were fixed on the
deep furrows that formed on the forehead of the
headmaster when he spoke.
“It has really been difficult for you after her
mother died?” the headmaster asked.
“Yes, of course,” whispered Madhab.
“What is she doing in the house?” the
headmaster went on, dusting his shirt with his
fingers.
“She assists me in taking care of the cows and the
house. Most of the time she remains busy in
household jobs.”
“I know, I know. It must be very difficult for her to
leave the house. There is so much work to do.”
The headmaster shook his head up and down. He
began to put the glasses on and placed them at the
edge of his nose. He pulled the chair closer to the
table and said, “The matter is, or let me say the
purpose of calling you here is, I want Hema to work
in our school.” He leaned forward as much as
possible towards Madhab and acted as if he had
confided a great secret in him.
Madhab pulled his head back and sat straight.
“What?”
“Yes, we need a teacher for the kids below five
years in our school. As Hema has completed her
primary education, I think she can do it.”
She has been a good student of our school,” said
the headmaster releasing his hands from under his
armpits and shaking Madhab’s shoulder.
Hema was sitting outside on the steps of the
verandah when Madhab reached home. The
crimson rays of the sun splashed on the verandah of
the house. A hen surrounded by her chicks scoured
the dust near Hema’s feet. The chicks ran about and
gathered behind her whenever a dog or a cat
passed by. Women seated in front of their houses
covered their heads as their in-laws returned from
the fields and river, following the cows and bulls.
The air was filled with the sounds of bells and shouts

M
adhab looked at the face of the headmaster
who was smiling at him with his upper lip
drawn into his mouth.
“But she is only 17 and has no
experience in teaching. And who will look
after my house?” Madhab asked in a low
voice so that the headmaster should not
feel hurt.
“That will be taken care of. She will
remain in the school for three to four hours
only. She would finish all her work in the
house and come to school.”
“I will see. I have to ask her,” said
Madhab and hung his face down looking
worried.
“I am telling you for her benefit. She
would not feel lonely here and can
continue her study if she likes,” the
headmaster said as if to make a child
understand a riddle.
“All right, sir. Give me permission to
go.”
Madhab got up from the stool and stood before
the headmaster with folded hands.
“And how will the crop be this year?” the
headmaster asked as he got up from the chair and
followed Madhab to the gate.
“We are expecting the monsoon to come soon,
otherwise it would be difficult to plant the seeds,”
of children playing in the street.
As he reached home, Madhab asked Hema if the
cows had been given rice water and fodder and,
picking up a pail, went to the shed to milk
the cows. Hema followed her father,
As they curious to know what had transpired
stood facing between him and the headmaster. As
Madhab milked the cows, she stood near
each other him and caressed their necks. “What did
near the the headmaster say?” she asked and kissed
gate, the a calf on its forehead as it licked her hand.
headmaster Madhab adjusted the pail between his legs
asked as it got full and heavy. “Nothing,” he said,
Madhab caressing the udder.
“Then how did Sadhu say that the
about his headmaster wanted to meet you urgently?”
health and Hema pressed on holding the calf around
future plans its neck so that its head touched her cheek
for Hema. and she felt the warmth of the soft skin.
Madhab handed over the pail to Hema,
patted the cows and picking lice off their
backs, said, “The headmaster told me to take you to
the school tomorrow, nothing else.” He began to
gather the broom, the pans and the straw into a
corner of the cowshed. “Be ready tomorrow, we
have to go to school.” They came out of the shed
and closed the gate made of wattle to keep dogs
and cats from entering at night.

M
said Madhab without turning to look at the
headmaster. “The land has already been tilled in the
pre-monsoon rain. Day by day it is becoming
difficult to depend on agriculture due to insufficient
rain and non-availability of seeds of good quality.”
As they stood facing each other near the gate, the not tell me yesterday?” she pleaded looking
headmaster asked Madhab about his health and
future plans for Hema. His hands were crossed over
his chest and the palms were hidden under the
armpits.
“Let me go, sir. The girl is alone in the house and
the cows have to be taken care of.”
“All right, all right. But you must consider what I
said. Don’t let Hema sit in the house and kill time.
adhab returned from the field and told Hema
to put on a clean frock and get ready. Hema
wanted to know why his father was so
interested in taking her to school. He told her that
the headmaster wanted to talk to her. “Why did you
perplexed. The father and daughter came out of the
house and the neighbours sitting on the steps looked
curiously at them.
“To the school,” said Madhab to the women, who
looked at them questioningly. “The headmaster
wanted to see her.”
“When are they coming to see Hema?” said the
old woman whose voice seemed trembling with age.

56 Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010

“What a beautiful face she has. She will look so
beautiful in her bridal dress.”
Madhab stood there, before the old woman as
she went on asking one question after another about
Hema’s marriage.
Hema’s face turned crimson as the women teased
her. She stood behind her father in an effort to
conceal her face. “Any day in this month. But I have
told them to inform me a day or two before,”
Madhab was saying, “Let us know their opinion.”
“Her marriage would give you a great relief,”
said the old woman, looking at the women who
nodded their heads and their glances flitted between
Hema and Madhab. “Don’t let her move in the street
like this; what will they think if they see her loitering
in the village?” the old woman said as Madhab and
Hema turned to go. A group of children followed
them to a distance, dispersed into groups and began
to play.
T
hey stood in front at the gate of the school and
saw the headmaster and Sadhu working in the
garden. Hema looked at the old structure of the
school that she had left a few years ago. She
remembered her friends, and the time she had spent
during her schooldays. She went to the headmaster
and touched his feet. “Arre, Hema! Come, come,”
said the headmaster and led them to his office. He
sat in his chair and offered Madhab a chair to sit
on. Hema remained standing at the side of her
father.
“Have you talked to Hema?” said the
headmaster, wondering at the beauty of Hema.
“Not yet,” said Madhab. “A proposal for her
marriage has come. They are coming at the end of
this month to see her.”
Oh, I see! Have you asked Hema about her
wish?” said the headmaster. He looked at Hema
intently over his glasses. “Then let me ask her,” the
headmaster went on.
“I have a plan for you, Hema. If you would be
interested, I want you to join our school.”
T
he headmaster waited for any reaction from
Hema. She had turned into a statue listening to
the headmaster. She had lost the power of
speech.
“All you have to do is to take care of the little
children of nursery classes,” the headmaster said,
looking at Hema and Madhab alternately. “At the
same time, you can pursue your studies.”
Hema’s hold tightened on the shoulder of her
father.
“But let me tell you, sir,” Madhab said,
straightening himself in the chair, “it would be very
difficult to get such a boy. The father of the boy
himself had come with the proposal.”
“It is up to you. I am just giving you a proposal,”
the headmaster said leaning back in his chair and
looking at the ceiling. “We are looking for a girl for
this post and we thought Hema was alone in the
house after her mother’s death so she could pass her
time here.”
“Marriage can wait,” said Hema, crumpling her
father’s shirt in her hands. There was an unusual
gravity and maturity in her voice that Madhab was
astonished to notice. “Anything can wait. Let me, sir,
come to the school from tomorrow.”
The air of authority in her face
startled Madhab. He could not
dare to look into her eyes and
turned his face towards the
headmaster. Silence
prevailed for some time.
As Madhab got up from
the chair to go, he heard
the headmaster humming
a song with his gaze
fixed on the yellowish
blades of the fan rotating
demurely overhead.
“Come from tomorrow,
Hema,” he said and
began to gather the
papers spread on the
table into a bundle.
Madhab realised that
the case was no more in
his hands. We
PARTNER SEARCH
Beware of wedding brokers while trying to find a
match for your son or daughter. By Gulsum Basheer
W
hat parents do behind
their children’s backs, on
Sunday mor nings goes
an advertisement for the
weekly matrimonial
classi fieds in a leading
newspaper. It is every
parent’s fond desire to
see his child settled in life
with a partner worthy of
him or her.
Until a few years ago, most
parents chose their child’s better-half
from among their relatives and
acquaintances, with a fond uncle or
an over friendly aunt playing the
matchmaker.
Now, with joint families breaking
up into nuclear units and people
settling far away from the places of
their ancestral origin, finding a bride
or groom has become a Herculean
task. So in steps the marriage broker
58
– or the parents step into a
matrimonial agency.
Having many cousins with children
of marriageable ages, I have been
privy to their tensions and hassles.
Most importantly I have watched with
alarm how gullible they become when
they are dealing with marriage
brokers. After all, they want the best
for their child. The broker knows this
and how to sweet-talk the parents
into becoming putty in his trained
hands.
The brokers advertise themselves
in the local newspapers. An
advertisement might run something
like this “All religions. Marriages
fixed, doctors, engineers. All
professions. VIP marriages. Exclu -
sive and Bonafide.”
The unsuspecting parents, usually
the mother, as the father is busy
(may be) earning to pay for the
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
ensuing wedding, contacts the
broker. The minute the phone call is
made, she is prey to the broker’s
demands.
The broker lands up in her house,
with photographs and biodata of
prospective brides or grooms as the
case maybe. Before I say more about
the blundering brokers, I should
describe what a typical biodata for a
marriage alliance looks like. None of
the boy’s or girl’s achievements in his
professional field is highlighted in
this. Instead, right after mentioning
the applicant’s name and date of
birth, the fond parents mention the
colour of his complexion, whether
very fair/fair/wheatish. Then the
child’s build which is always slim,
while the heavier ones are passed off
as athletic.
My cousin contacted a broker to
find a bride for her highly qualified
and handsome son. The broker
arrived at her house in a car, armed
with a laptop, from which he showed
her many girls’ photos and their
biodata. Then he politely asked her
for Rs.2000 as registration fees. After
my cousin had coughed up the
amount, he took her son’s photo and
biodata.
To give the devil its due, he did
forward to her e-mail ID, a few girls’
details and photos. But these did not
match up to my cousin’s
expectations. Every few days, the
broker and she would call each other
up and wage a battle of words. They
never came to an understanding.
According to my cousin, her son
was too good for the girls the broker
pointed out. In the broker’s view my
cousin was too demanding and not
willing to make compromises. After
some time the broker stopped
sending her any girl’s details. He cut
off all ties with her and also refused
to answer her calls. So that was a
good two thousand rupees down the
drain.
THE MARRIAGE
BROKERS
Some marriage brokers place
advertisements in matrimonial
classifieds in newspapers for a
fictitious person. My cousin was lured
by an advertisement that said, “Very
fair engineering graduate bride.
Educated, cultured family.” When she
called the number given in the ad,
the man who answered her call said
that he was the bride’s uncle. My
unsuspecting cousin poured out her
son’s details, his qualifications, his
place of work, his physical attributes,
even his salary amount.
It was only later, she came to
understand that this man was a
marriage broker collecting information
about prospective grooms in their city
and later passing on this information
to other families with girls for a fee.
Then my cousin contacted a
famous marriage bureau often
advertised in the papers. I am not
mentioning the name of the agency,
but it has many branches in different
states and even in Gulf countries,
where according to them their
services are much sought after.
When my cousin rang up the
agency’s branch in her city, a decent
sounding man attended her call and
answered her queries. But she was
still not satisfied and said so to the
man. He asked for her preference in
brides, like the bride’s height, place
of residence and her qualifications.
Then he asked for her son’s height,
date of birth and his qualifications.
He took down her e-mail ID and told
her that he would mail her a few girls’
details which might suit her son.
She received by mail pictures of
five girls, each prettier than the other
and an accompanying tableau with
their qualifications that perfectly
matched my cousin’s expectations
and living right there in her city too.
Their names, addresses and
telephone numbers were hidden of
course.
Taken in by the whole packaging,
my cousin hurried to their office and
paid the initial amount of one
thousand rupees as registration fee.
Then she was given a registration
number, using which she could log
into the agency’s website and get the
contact details of any girl they liked.
Later at home, when she logged
into their website, she saw the
portfolios of many girls. But none
were of the five beautiful and highly
NOT ALL MARRIAGE
BUREAUS ARE
FRAUDS. BUT
PARENTS SHOULD
USE THEIR
DISCRIMINATION
WHEN USING THEIR
SERVICES.
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
qualified girls, whose photos she had
received earlier by e-mail on the list.
It was then that she realised that
those five girls, professional models,
whose pictures accompanied by
cooked up qualifications according a
person’s demands, were used to bait
customers to their agency, to part
with a thousand rupees.
Not all marriage bureaus are
frauds. But parents should use their
discrimination when using their
services. Many online marriage
portals like Bharat Matrimony.com,
shaadi.com, jeevansaathi.com and
nikah.com have been doing a
wonderful job in connecting people
wishing to get married. There are
thousands of genuine real-life stories
of couples who met through these
marriage sites. But for every hundred
true profile on the net, there is a not
so genuine one waiting to hook an
unsuspecting person.
A few years ago in Chennai,
police arrested a man who had
married four different girls, two of
whom he had lured from the
matrimonial sites. One of the girls he
had met on the matrimonial site was
an army major’s daughter with a well-
paying job. He had pretended to her
to be from the IAS cadre, while he
was just a school dropout. If only he
had put his brains to better use!
So, when enlisting the help of
marriage brokers or bureaus or
meeting a person registered in the
matrimonial sites, one should tread
warily, take everything you hear with
a huge dose of salt, check and
recheck every single detail you hear,
many times over and never take
anything at face value. Marriages are
made in heaven, but these are
finalised on earth.
My cousin finally found a bride for
her son, with the help of a broker
only. On the day of the wedding she
had to pay the broker his commission
of a whooping fifty thousand rupees.
Who said weddings were cheap?
I can hear the youth of today
advocating love marriages as against
arranged marriages and telling their
parents, “We are saving you a whole
lot of trouble.”
They just might have a point there.We
59
TEN FASHION
NO-NO’S
Looks great? But on you?

S
By Minakshi. S. Desai
tyle and fashion aficionados
never had it so good. With
the alarm bells of recession
ringing, sales and discounts
are the order of the day, the
prices hitting rock bottom
faster than the sensex on a
bad bull day. And while it is
difficult to resist splurging on
all the must have’s that had
previously been out of your reach,
here’s a good time to dwell on some
bitter truths. What’s fashion and style
for one can very easily spell disaster
for another. So, rather than follow
fashion blindly, it makes more sense
to make your own style statements.
● Roman sandals with sexy
straps and tie-ups are definitely
1
something that you would like to add
to your footwear collection. However,

these are a strict no-no if you happen
to have ankles that are not as
delicately turned as you would wish
as the extra straps only succeed in
drawing attention to the part of your
body that you are not too proud of,
fat ankles.
6
cool and fashionable on the teeny
boppers, the same sadly is not
applicable to women past their prime.
There are umpteen fashion choices
for the older generation whereby you
cannot only look chic but make a
fashion statement too.

2
● The most elegant of outfit loses ● Hair colour can often go
its charm when accompanied by horribly wrong. While it is nice to be

sandals that have scuffed heels and
a battered look. After each wear,
make sure to wipe the footwear
clean, polish if required, and put them
back in the cloth bags supplied by
the shoe store or in a shoe box,
ready to stack in your shoe rack or
cupboard. Our roads are more often
than not dirty with grit, garbage and
rubble strewn all over the place. So
it’s best not to drag your feet or
scrape the heels on sharp stones.
7
adventurous and add that extra zing
to your personality with a tint or a few
tastefully applied highlights, out -
landish colours and tints can be very
tricky. Global shades of rust or
blonde on a dark complexion can
wreak havoc on your appearance.
Your stylist will be the right person to
advise you on the shade most
suitable for your complexion.
● Long nails that aren’t
manicured properly, nail polish that
yourself into an outfit which has
magically shrunk while hanging in
your wardrobe.
There is nothing more unsightly
than an item of clothing trying its best
to hold in the rolls of your extra fat. If
you cannot control your weight, it’s a
good idea to invest in a new
wardrobe.
And if, as it often happens, the

3 8
● There is nothing more
depressing looking than love handles
pouring out of low-waist jeans. And
yes, short flared kameez with
churidars are the latest in fashion, as
are the Anarkali’s frock tops and
leggings. But if you take a moment
to think before enthusiastically
slipping into one of these, you will
is chipped or nails that are bitten to
the bone look abominable.
Undeniably, taking care of your nails
is time-consuming; so if pressed for
time, keeping your nails neatly
clipped is a better bet. And while you
are at it, use hand cream regularly.
● Saris embellished with sequins,
stones and embroidery have been
budget strings are feeling the pinch,
take up jogging, or go for long walks.
That way the zipper won’t give you a
problem and you will be able to
spend on a few knick-knacks too!
“Clothes make the man. Naked
people have little or no influence on
society,” said the famous novelist
Mark Twain. While the question of

realise that the reason it looks so
good on the mannequin in the store
window is that her dimensions border
on the anorexic. So, unless you think
you can pull it off, it’s advisable to
resist the temptation.
● The fact that it’s called inner
9
doing the rounds for quite a while
now. As have designer blouses with
more colours and designs than the
colours of the rainbow. Whether they
are here to stay is the big question.
Be that as it may, in an effort to outdo
the competition, you end up with
going around in your birthday suit
doesn’t arise, it is a fact that
appearances matter.
How you dress, walk or talk has
everything to do with how successful
you will be in what you have on. So
go out there and make an

4
wear should tell you something.
Something that should remain in –
hidden from view. Bra straps or
more work than you or your saris are
capable of taking. And this is not
taking into account the variety of
impression!

Winners of Eurofab
We

buckles coming out for a breath of

fresh air from under the sari blouse
are an absolute no-no. Brassieres
that have lost their elasticity give your
figure a decided sag that is
undesirable. Make sure to replenish
your lingerie wardrobe regularly.
● Frayed, well-worn petticoat
laces and borders that trim the edges
of your abstract masterpiece.
Quiz Contest - 8
Remember, as with everything else,
moderation is the key. Subtle
understated elegance is better than
over the top glitter.
● Calories have a tendency to
pile up where we least suspect it. It is

10
ruffles or edges peeping out from an easy matter where sari blouses

5
under a sari you paid an arm and a
leg for do tend to bring down the tone
of your attire. Invest in satin or cotton
petticoats that complement the sari
rather than make do with something
that doesn’t quite match. And try not
to let it show!
● Dress you age. While clothes
that are the height of fashion look
are concerned; the obliging tailor
conveniently leaves enough margin
for just such an eventuality.
But it’s another matter when it
comes to jeans – while squeezing
yourself into a pair becomes a Amit Pateria
gargantuan task, zipping them up is a Near Shree Ram Place, Darjee OLI,
pipe dream. Which brings us to the BADA, Lashker,
tenth fashion faux pas: squeezing Gwalior, M.P. Pin: 474001

Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010 61

ART ON
CARPETS
Weaved for a cause.
T
By Suman Bajpai
hirty artists and designers,
extraordinary designs and
low prices… Sounds quite
alluring? Every year People
for Animals (PFA) holds a
unique fundraiser exhibition
with a novelty. This is an
effort of Maneka Gandhi,
chairperson of People for
Animals, who organises
every year an event to raise funds
and awareness for animal welfare.
Each PFA fundraiser is designed as
a unique and spectacular event.
Each time it promotes a novel,
exciting art form and has become a
trendsetter in the art world.
This year’s show has her aligning
with Sunil Sethi Design Alliance to
create carpets out of master art. It’s a
great opportunity for connoisseurs to
own a limited edition (They are in 10s
and twenties only). M F Hussein,
Raza, Sabavala, Manjit Bawa, JJ
Valaya, Ritu Kumar, Sabyasachi
Mukherjee, Manu Parekh, etc. are
the participant artists. Never before
has such an exhibition been
conceptualised and presented,
creating a whole new segment in
India’s growing art market. Planned
as a three-day event, the exhibition
will be held on 27-29 August 2010 at
The Lalit in New Delhi.
In an interview Maneka Gandhi,
who nurtures stray dogs in her home,
reinforces her commitment to her
cause – People for Animals – and
throws light on her personal take on
carpet as art.
Excerpts:
Why have you chosen the arts
to help your crusade for animals?
Art and all the forms of art have
always interested me. In fact, People
for Animals did the first big art
exhibition/sale in India – which is now
so common that every day there are
50 exhibitions. Artists are wonderfully
generous people and it is a joy to
work with them. So it is natural for
me to combine the two. But we do it
in a different way – we don’t do
paintings. We do lithographs,
photography, oleographs, pottery, T-
shirts and shawls with designers,
Kanhai works of Krishna...
Moreover, people like buying
them. We’re good at selling them and
try to keep them at a level where
everybody’s happy. The buyer is
happy as it turns out to be a bargain,
while we are happy because we get
enough money for our hospitals.
How did you come up with
this idea of art on carpets?
Every year we take art and do
something new. Each PFA
fundraiser is designed as a unique
and spectacular event. Each time
it promotes a novel, exciting art
form and has become a trendsetter
in the art world. Past PFA
fundraisers include a centenary
exhibition of Raja Ravi Verma
oleographs, a collection of designer
T-shirts by all of India’s top designers
and the Affordable Art Show with
over 1000 works by the country’s top
15 artists each priced at an
unbelievable standard price of Rs
40,000! We marked India’s 60th year
of Independence with a spectacular
exhibition of 6000 British-India
lithographs dating back to the
1700s. We had an exhibition of 10,
000 antique tiles from haveli’s. We
had India’s first major
photography exhibition of 250
photographers and broke all sales
records. Then we did artistic
candles of Dimple Kapadia.
Art has never been translated
onto carpets so we thought we
would try to see whether we
could bridge the gap. It needed
many technical innovations but
we have been successful. It
also provides work to weavers.
I am the chairperson of
Rugmark, the NGO involved in
the carpet industry which looks
after weavers’ children for many
years. So I could combine the
two. We have woven paintings of
legendary artists into a limited
edition of carpets, using the very
best materials. The name of the
exhibition is Fly your own carpet to
your walls and we intend to turn
carpets into the ultimate modern art
form.
How much of an impact do you
think this exhibition will have?
Hopefully, it will make people
realise how talented our weavers are.
Also I hope it will sell a lot and help
me build more hospitals for animals.
We have already started selling
carpets. As always, prices will be
kept reasonable and attractive which
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010 63
 has become a PFA hallmark and
makes our events so popular. The
prices start at Rs 35,000 with the
most expensive being Rs 5 lakh
(Raza, Hussein) All the carpets will
be accompanied by a certificate from
the painter saying they are an
authorised limited edition of his work.
What has inspired you to hold
such exhibitions?
Necessity! In India very few
people give money freely for causes.
They have to be sold something –
even if it is just a card. So we try to
think of ways to interest buyers and
collectors with unique items that are
affordable.
Is there a specific unifying
theme of an exhibition linked to
animals?
No, just any form of art. We never
ask our participating artists to do
anything specifically. We request
them to give the best of what they
have done.
It is not easy to put together
something involving so many
bright and busy people. What was
a reaction of people on this
fundraiser issue initially? Are they
sceptical or supportive?
When we embarked on this
fundraiser, a lot of people were
sceptical about whether we’d be able
to put together something involving
so many bright and busy people. I am
delighted to prove the cynics wrong.
The designers have responded with
great generosity and remarkable
efficiency. India needs more young
people like them to demonstrate that
caring is all about sharing. Everyone
is always very supportive. And the
busier they are the more willing are
they to help. In my experience, it is
busy, talented committed people who
change the world with their kindness.
They have no time to be mean and
selfish!
Youʼre known for being one of
Indiaʼs most prominent environ-
mental campaigners. How did
you come to work in this field?
Again, through the belief that air,
64 Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
water and clean land is all we can
leave our children and all the rest is
irrelevant. Therefore I study, research
and campaign every day.
Think protections of animals,
prevention of cruelty to animals...
and the first name that comes to
mind is yours. Your devotion to
animals is unbounded. What
sparked off your interest in them?
I was born like that! The point is, I
have the power and ability to work
for beings that have no one. The
heart is a door, when it opens, it
opens for all. I work just as hard for
children, my constituency, against
injustice. It’s just that you know the
animal part because the movement
is still developing. But there are
thousands of people like me in India
who give their time and ability
unstintingly.
What are the key environmental
issues facing India at the moment?
Overpopulation and the misuse of
resources by a few people and their
enormous greed. Mining, cutting of
forests, unregulated chemical use in
factories and pesticides, the drying
up of water, the chopping of whole
mountains like the Aravallis and the
Shivalik hills to make stones for
roads…. These are some of the
crises every day and in each case a
politician and a bureaucrat are
responsible and get the money. If
they had no children it would be okay
but all of them have children and yet
they do this. Do they not realise the
irreversible damage that is being
done?
With exhibitions that are held
once a year, looking after the
animal cause, handling your
constituency and being a member
of a political party, how do you
handle everything?
At times it does drive me mad.
There are 500 other things going on
together. But at the same time, you
are saving a life, reducing pain
whether it be of a child, an animal or a
family. It gives you a feeling of elation
that nothing else can bring you. I feel I
handle nothing. I simply have fun. We

I am a woman trapped in a man’s
body! I am a man but I feel like a
woman and am happiest when I’m
dressed as a woman or when I am in
the company of women friends and
men I am attracted to. But I can’t
openly live like that, can I? So I dress
like a woman only when I’m locked
in my room and do not let my male
friends know that I find them very
attractive. But everyone suspects
from my manner and behaviour that I
am gay.
What should I do? I cannot bear to
cause my family pain (since they
suspect nothing because I live what
seems a normal life) by telling them
that I am a homosexual and at the
same time I cannot give in to their
demand that I get married. Since I
am 30, their demands are getting
shriller and shriller. Again, I do not
want to go through sex change
procedures since I am afraid of the
painful and time-consuming process.
If you don’t have the guts to face
your parents, society or sex change
procedures, you only have the option
of going on living in the closet. But
living a lie is not easy and you will
have to do that all your life. Of
course, you could move to another
place and live there as a woman and
live a lie only when you come home
to visit your parents. But it wouldn’t
be easy to pretend to be a woman all
the time. After all, as a man, you
QI am in love with a man who is less
intelligent than I am, less qualified
than I am, less ambitious than I am
and also a year younger than I am.
But boy, is he gorgeous looking! I
am 23 now and am ready to support
him all my life. Will we be happy if
we get married?
Oh boy, do you have the hots for
him! Many men marry less
educated, less ambitious, beautiful
women and lead extremely happy
lives. But as things stand in our
probably have facial hair and a
deeper voice than women have.
These days, many lesbians and
homosexuals are finding the courage
to come out of the closet (especially if
they live in one of the metros) and
tell society about their sexual
orientation. They then carve out a life
for themselves openly in the gay
community.
If you can find the courage to
speak frankly to your parents, this
would really be the best option. You
shouldn’t get married just to maintain
your cover because that would be
doing a great injustice to the woman
you marry.
My closest friend and I both come
from a lower middle-class back -
ground, but due to hard work and a
lot of luck. I have succeeded beyond
my wildest dreams in a business I
started and now find myself very rich.
From the beginning I looked after my
friend and made him a part of my
business, but now I have discovered
that he has been systematically
cheating me from the start. I am
shattered. What should I do? My
family wants me to hand him over to
the police. Should I do this?
Jealousy and greed make people
do terrible things and your friend was
obviously not large-hearted enough
to be happy over your success. And
your generosity towards him seems
to have just exacerbated his negative
feelings.
Your friend doesn’t deserve to be
given a second chance in your
business. You wouldn’t be able to
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
QA &
culture, your gorgeous young
man could develop a huge
inferiority complex, because people
are likely to laugh and make snide
comments about his being
supported by you.
And while sex is certainly
important in a marriage, love and
respect are more important in the
long run. You have mentioned his
looks, but not that you love him or
respect him. Think about this and
then take a decision.
trust him and you shouldn’t have
someone you cannot trust involved
in handling your affairs.
But if you still have any feelings
for him, do not hand him over to the
police. Instead, tell him that you will
do that if he does not make good the
money he has taken from you. Then
cut him out of your life. He does not
deserve a friend like you.
When I was 12-years-old, my father
tried to rape me. I cried and
screamed loudly and he did not
succeed. But since then he has
misbehaved with me by touching my
private parts and breasts whenever
my mother is not at home and we are
alone together.
When I finished my 12th standard,
I insisted on joining a college in
another city saying that it was the
best college for the course I wanted
to do. That was two years ago when I
was 17 and since then I have made
excuses for not going home during
the holidays.
Now my mother is very upset with
my behaviour and I too am not
happy. I feel depressed all the time
and sometimes I even feel suicidal. I
have not confided in anyone
including my college mates and so
they find me strange and I don’t have
any friends. I am sorry about this
because several of them, especially
my room-mate, were very friendly
initially.
Sometimes I feel that I just cannot
keep things to myself any more but I
know that if my mother comes to
know what happened to her only
65
 QA &
child, she would not be able to bear
it. What should I do?
You are obviously traumatised by
the terrible things done to you by the
person who should have been your
strongest support and protector. You
did well by getting away from your
father as soon as you could, but that
is not enough. You desperately need
counselling to be able to get over the
nightmare you have been living ever
since you were 12.
It would also help if you opened
up and talked to friends your own
age. You could talk to your room-
mate, but do so only if you feel that
she is the type to be supportive and
that she will not shy away in shock.
But first of all, you should tell your
mother what you have been going
through. She should know what a
terrible person her husband is.
It is in fact surprising that she did
not suspect from your behaviour all
these years that something was
seriously wrong in your life. Now, you
must think of yourself and not her
feelings. Your father needs to be
punished for his despicable
behaviour.
Ever since we were in college, my
boyfriend and I planned to get
married after we completed our
education and got jobs. Now all that
has happened, but my boyfriend has
dropped a bombshell by telling me
that his parents will never accept me
as their daughter-in-law because I
belong to another caste and that they
will commit suicide if he marries me.
He also says that they will insist
on his getting married and that he will
have to accede to their wish. But he
says that he will love me forever and
that I should remain unmarried and
that we should be lovers all our lives.
I am all confused. I love this man
deeply. Should I agree to what he
says though my parents would be
heartbroken if I did not marry and
have children?
It would be very silly for you to
give in to your boyfriend’s extremely
selfish demand and agree to lead a
life in which you would get nothing
and he would get everything. He will
66
get a wife, children, his parents’
approval and a place in society while
you will have to keep your
relationship with him a secret, never
have kids and cause your parents
pain. It is also strange that he should
have raised this matter of caste so
late in your relationship. After all, he
could not have failed to know till now
that you belonged to a different caste
and that his parents were narrow-
minded.
So give your boyfriend an
ultimatum. He has to either marry you
or lose you. And don’t worry. Your
life will not be finished if he doesn’t
have the courage to marry you. You
will certainly be unhappy for some
time, but you will definitely get over
your love for a coward. And as for
love and marriage, you will find that
there are many more fish in the sea.
I was married off by my parents when
I was very young and was the mother
of two by the time I was 20. Now I
am 40.
Six years ago, I fell in love with
my neighbour’s son. He was then 15
and he too fell in love with me. For
three glorious years we had a
wonderful, sexually satisfying affair.
Then he went to college and our
affair came to an end.
Now that boy is 21 and he and my
20-year-old daughter have fallen in
love with each other. Both his parents
and my husband are all for the
match, but I don’t know what to do.
Sometimes I feel that the boy is not
of a good character (because of how
he behaved with me) and that I
should tell my daughter about our
affair so that she breaks up with the
boy.
At other times I feel that I should
approve of the match because the
boy has joined his father in their
family business and my daughter will
have a good life in their family.
The boy doesn’t even look at me
now and this only makes me feel
even surer that he is not the right boy
for my daughter. What should I do?
You should look at the matter
maturely. That 15-year-old boy had
an affair with you not because he has
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
a bad character but because you, a
married woman and mother more
than twice his age, came onto him
and he could not refuse the
temptation. Now, he probably does
not look at you because he is
embarrassed.
If you tell your daughter about
your affair with the boy she loves, it is
you she will consider a bad character
and not him. Can’t you imagine the
consequences of such an act? Do
not even think of it.
You got married far too early,
when you were very immature, and
this is why you are so confused. It
would be best if you agreed to your
daughter’s marriage to this young
man and then hope that he does not
reveal details of the affair you had
with him to your daughter or to the
world. To ensure this, keep a formal
distance from him even after he
becomes your son-in-law.
I am 24-years-old. Though I have
never been into sports or been a very
active person, I was slim and never
had any problems with my weight till
two years ago. But soon after I began
working, I suddenly began to put on
weight. Now I am quite plump. What
should I do? I am a rather lazy
person. Is there any medicine I can
take to remain slim?
What has happened to you
happens to many people. When we
are young, we are active, our bodies
are growing and our parents usually
see that we have a healthy diet. So
we eat a lot and yet we remain slim.
But when we become adults and
begin to work or get married, we are
less active, our bodies do not need
as much food as earlier and we begin
to eat a lot of junk food. So we begin
to put on weight.
If you want to lose weight, you
cannot be lazy. You have to exercise
and control your intake of food. There
are medicines which some doctors
claim can make a person lose weight,
but they all have side-effects and are
nowhere as effective as they are
claimed to be.
So welcome to the world of adults
and watch your weight!
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A WOMAN WEARING
MANY HATS
Interesting insight into the life of
a very distinguished and
S
versatile singer. By Shakti Koushik
he is a gold medalist in both
B. A. and M. A. in music
from Madras University. She
was given a fellowship to do
her master’s in world music
from Wesleyan University,
Connecticut, U. S. While in
the U.S.A., she learned
western classical opera and
jazz. Besides this, she
performed in Indonesian and West
African music concerts. The
President of India Gold Medal in
1987 for carnatic and light classical
music and the Central government
senior Fellowship in 1989 add to her
list of many achievements.
She has been singing hits like
Acham Acham Illai set to A. R.
Rahman's music in the film Indira,
Meenamma to Deva in Aasai',
"Malarodu from Bombay, Thennattu
from Pasumpon and Nalam Nalam
from Kaadhal Kottai. She has also
sung in the Hindi film Ram Jaane,
Biwi no.1, Taal, Lagaan, Jis Desh
mein Ganga Rehta Hai, and
Deewanapan. She was awarded a
Platinum disc for record sales for her
song Phenk Hawa composed by Anu
Malik. Her voice was used in the
Tamil dubbed version of the Lion
King. She has been singing regularly
for all the top music directors in the
Tamil, Hindi, Telugu and Malayalam
film industries.
The lush green surroundings of
the restaurant coupled with rain
made it a perfect time to talk to noted
singer Anuradha Sriram. Excerpts
from the interview:
When did you start learning
music ?
I started learning music right from
76
the time I can in his film Indira. That
remember, I was was my debut in
three years old. My playback singing.
mother Renuka is
the one who started Who is your idol in
teaching me music. music?
She was one of the All my gurus –
pioneers of stage starting from my Mother
shows in her time. Renuka, Sri Tanjavur,
S. kalyamaramam,
What kind of music did you Sangita Kalanidhi, T. Brinda, Dr T.
learn? Vishwanathan, Sri Manikbhua
I mainly learnt Carnatic music and Takurdas, Shirley Meier (Western
in my summer holidays I used to classical guru) and last but not least
travel to Bombay and learn my husband Sriram Parasuram.
Hindustani classical. I am also a great fan of Bade
Ghulam Ali Khan, Kumar Gandharv,
You have done masterʼs in Mehndi Hasan and Shobha Gurtu (I
“ethnomusicology”. What is it? feel elated when I hear her songs , I
The study of music groups – have listened to many of her songs
ethnic groups is ethnomusicology. and learnt from them. I wish I had
met all these people in person).
You are a classical singer…How Among the western singers, I like
and when did you take up Whitney Houston and I also liked
playback singing? Pavarotti, it is really unfortunate that
Playback singing happened to me he passed away. He took opera
by chance. A friend sent my CD to A singing to a different level and
R Rehman and he gave me a break moulded it so that a large number of
people can enjoy it.
PLAYBACK SINGING However, my all-time favourites
are S. P. Balasubramaniam, Janaki
HAPPENED TO ME and Asha Bhosle.
BY CHANCE. A
FRIEND SENT How do you feel when the
songs you sing are picturised in
MY CD TO A R bad taste?
REHMAN AND HE When I sing a song then I am
lending my voice to the character. It
GAVE ME A BREAK does not show my character or
IN HIS FILM INDIRA. scruples. It is done because it is
THAT WAS MY commercially viable. So, I am okay
about it. However, if I am given a
DEBUT IN PLAYBACK song that makes me uncomfortable
SINGING. then I refuse to sing such songs.
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
 What do you think of
remixes?
Frankly, I do not like them.
The songs are deconstructed
from the way they are. They
represent a particular era of
music and I believe that it
should be left unpolluted. I
believe that by remixing them
and picturising them like this
we are doing injustice to our
culture. I believe that
composing new genre of
songs is all great but we
should not pollute the original
great songs.
Have you composed
music?
I have composed music
along with my husband for
Mani Ratnam’s production
Five Star in Tamil and Chennai
Pop Saawariya in Hindi – both
these albums got awards.
What are your latest songs and
currently what are you working
for?
Recently, I have sung in the movie
ʻAriya and ʻMalai Kotaiʼ. I have also
sung songs for Himesh Reshammiya
and Anuji Anu Malik.
What difference do you find
between Bollywood and
Kollywood?
Well, it is a pleasure working in
both. However, Kollywood is very,
very organised and I can go at the
appointed time, sing and come back.
Bollywood has a more relaxed
attitude. We finish the antara and
then take a tea-break, relax a little
and then record again. So both have
their way of functioning and I enjoy
working for both.
What shows do you prefer?
Live shows or playback?
I like live shows because you get
to improvise and when you see the
audience enjoying, then you feel
really good and you build a good
rapport with them. Playback singing
is also dear to me because, I have
learnt a lot from it. So, I can safely
say that I love both.
What do you do when you are
not singing?
“My husband and I are both into
music, so we have lots of discussions
on music. I also learn music from
him. Other than that, both of us are
complete foodies, so we like to try
out new types of food and discuss
recipes with friends. And, right now,
we are both busy being parents to
our children. I make sure that I do my
recording only when they are at
school and I am back when they
come back. I want to be there when
they laugh or cry or throw a tantrum. I
want to experience the joy of bringing
them up and taking care of them. So,
both my husband and I try to plan our
recordings such that either one of us
is at home to take care of them 24/7.
I hear that you do a lot of
charity work. Tell us more about
it.
My husband and I are one of the
six trusties of ‘Jeevika’ which is an
orphanage and an old-age home. We
also support the palliative care unit
of the Cancer Institute, Chennai. It is
meant for patients who are in the final
stages of cancer and experience a
lot of pain. So, through this
department, alternative medicine
therapy is offered to patients. They
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
are also provided with counselling so
that they are able to deal with this
difficult time.
“A Woman has to wear many
hats”. How do you balance home
and work?
I believe that we all have to make
our choices in life. There is a lot of
work to do. There are enough and
more songs to sing but I try to keep
them when my children are at school
so that I am there for them. Like I
mentioned earlier, my husband and
I arrange our schedules in such a
way that one of us is always there
with the children. Sometimes, as
women, we have to make difficult
choices. We enjoy our work and want
to be independent. We have to draw
a line between how much we really
want. How many cars, phones,
clothes, shoes and jewellery do we
really need? We have to prioritise.
Are these material things more
important or the time spent with your
husband and children? Is earning
more money more important or being
there to nurse a brazed knee, or play
with the kids? This balance cannot
be achieved a hundred per cent; it is
an on-going process. And we have
to have our priorities right. Only then
can we balance home and work. We
77
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Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010 79

STORY
SHORT
When Deepu Wed
Debbie
Ever witnessed a kanyadaan ceremony
where six excited persons jointly give away the bride?

W
By Romola Shanbhag

hen Deepak made his usual week-end call She wants the whole works...jaymala, saat pheres,
from California, I was least prepared for havan,kanyadaan...”
the news he gave me. “Mom, I think it’s I couldn’t believe my ears.
time I heeded your advice. I am ready to “Deepu, I didn’t realise you knew all these rituals...”
get married,” he said. I gave a shriek of “I didn’t,” he returned gleefully.” Debbie filled me
joy. “ Excellent, Deepu beta. Come down in. I told you she knows everything. She’s more
as soon as possible and I’ll introduce you Indian than I am, Mom. And she wants the authentic
to the nicest girls in our community. Wait till I tell Indian ambience too, or we could have got married
Daddy...he will be thrilled to know that finally a in one of the many Indian temples here itself.”
bahu is entering our home.” He paused.” It’s okay with you and Dad, isn’t it?”
“Wait, Mom,” Deepu laughed.” I’ve already got he asked.” She’s really great,Mom.”
my bride...Debbie. Debbie Gordon.You’ll “It’s fine,” I said, my heart thudding.”
love her...she’s...” We’ll work it all out.”
My heart sank.” American? Is And that And that started the busiest time of our
she...er...Chinese American, Jewish, started the lives. A great flurry of activity followed with
Japanese or...or...” busiest time Deepu giving me long-distance instructions
“Relax, Mom. Debbie is fully of our lives. at every stage. Several of Debbie’s family,
American...and...” A great flurry it seemed, wanted to be a part of the
I didn’t want to hear more. I was in of activity celebrations.
despair. followed “And, they want to be dressed in
“I had waited to celebrate our only with Deepu authentic Indian clothes, Mom,” said
child’s marriage here in Delhi...on such a Deepu.” I know it will mean a lot of work
giving me
grand scale, with all the rituals and but I’ll send you all the measurements the
ceremonies,” I wailed.” But now...” long-distance tailors will need. Please keep everything
“Mom, we are getting married in Delhi instructions ready...since we will land a week before
itself..so stop worrying,” he said. at every the marriage, there will be enough time to
“In Delhi?” I was taken aback. Images stage. make any small alterations, isn’t it?”
of a church wedding, bridal gown,

I
bridesmaids, and a five-tier wedding cake swam
through my head.
“Why Delhi? Your Daddy and I will come there,”
I spoke quickly.
“Mom, let me explain. Debbie wants a very
traditional Hindu wedding. You’ll be surprised to
know that she is writing a thesis on Hindu culture
and tradition for her Phd. Mom, she knows more
about all this than I do!”
“What?!”
“Yeah...she says the more traditional, the better.
agreed nervously. After a marathon sitting with
our family darji, I sent him a list of all that the
man asked for. And soon, over the phone, I
began to jot down measurements: shoulder to
shoulder, around waist, around the fullest bust, from
waist to crotch, from neckline to waist,etc,etc.Even in
my dreams, I was doing this!
Choosing the venue was a challenge. Debbie did
not like banquet halls or marriage shamianas. “
She’s set her heart on getting married in a temple,”
Deepak told us.

80 Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010

 “Temple?”I asked.” But which ...”
“Mom, isn’t there any old temple structure which
can be hired for a wedding ceremony?” he asked
hopefully.” It’ll mean the world to her, you see.
Pu..le..e...ze. Mom.”
Thankfully we homed in on a derelict temple on
the outskirts of Delhi. Permission to use it was sought
and granted without much trouble. Some perfunctory
cleaning up was undertaken keeping in mind
Deepu’s injuction not to spoil the ancient look of the
premises. Since we had decided to make the
ceremony exclusive to close friends and relatives,
accommodating the guests in the temple premises
did not pose a problem.
T
en days before the red-letter day, our American
sambandhis arrived at Indira Gandhi
International Airport. We watched with
fluttering hearts as a small contingent of passengers
accompanied by Deepak came out to the arrival
lounge, wearing baggy pants and enormous cooling
glasses, straw hats and bandanas. Cameras slung
from shoulders and faces sported huge excited grins.
Deepak herded the group like a conscientious sheep
dog, towards where we waited.
In moments, the group descended on us. Large
white freckled arms engulfed us in bear hugs and
loud smacks on cheeks; heads of red, golden,
brown and platinum hair
lowered dutifully as we
placed garlands of marigold
over them. My giggling nieces sprinkled rose water
on them and placed large red tilaks on obliging
foreheads. Introductions were attempted but nothing
really registered in the general medley.
Deepak caught my eye and raised his hand with
thumb and index finger together to say that we had
done everything just right.And then he drew forward
a pretty smiling redhead and said,” Mom, Dad, this
is Debbie.”
T
he girl dimpled and said shyly,” Namaste,
Maji, Babuji,” and in one graceful movement
bent forward to touch our feet. In that instant,
she won our hearts for ever. As I embraced her,
Deepu gave me a didn’t-I-tell-you? look over her
shoulder.
A short while later, the bridal party left in several
taxis to the hotel where we had reserved suites for
them. And we returned home, tired, spent, and
completely happy.
The following days were spent in sightseeing and
“fittings” of the wedding clothes. Our tailor had
wreaked minor miracles in outfitting persons he had
never set eyes upon. Only minor adjustments were
needed and made; there was all-round satisfaction
and praise for his work.
Everything was finally ready for the Big Day.
Needless to say, I revelled in all the attention I
was awarded in my friends’ circle. There was no
other topic going round than “Deepu’s wedding”.
Nothing was scrutinised and discussed more avidly
than his bride’s folks who were all about the place,
shopping, talking, tasting food and taking movies on
webcams. Debbie charmed everyone with her
cheerful face and brave attempts to speak in Hindi.
 “ You are very lucky, Madhu,” Saroj Chopra told
me crossly.” We had to search long and far to get a
suitable bride from our community for our
son.Finally,we found Swati....and, can you believe
it? She refuses to speak in Hindi. It’s always English.
But your American bahu is trying her level best to
learn our language! How lucky you are!”
Kanta Kapoor expressed similar sentiments.” My
daughter-in-law lives in jeans and sweaters...why,
she wears this outfit even to temples! But look, how
nice your Debbie looks in her salwar kameez....and
she is not even Indian !”
My gaze went to Debbie who stood by chatting
with our son; they need not tell me, I thought to
myself. I know myself that I am very lucky, indeed.
Two days before the day, we cornered Deepu.”
“But they are all so friendly and...”I began.
“Oh, Mom, they don’t bear any rancour...they
separate as friends, you know...People are
separating all the time. They think it is boring to be
married to the same person all through life. “ He
smiled before saying reassuringly, “But you don’t
have to worry about Debbie and me...she is
completely smitten by our Indian concept of being
married for seven births...saath janams, you know.
She vows this will be true for us. I think, even if I
wish to divorce, she will not let me!”
I wasn’t listening to him. My mind was working
overtime. ” But then, let Joy Taylor and Dick Gordan
do the kanyadaan,” I told him.” It will look odd, but
they are the real parents, after all.”

D
Son, I hope Pam and Dick Gordan are ready and
prepared to participate in all the rituals? Panditji will
guide them all the way...so there’s no need for them
to feel anxious.”
“Yes, they are ready,” returned Deepu
cheerfully,” and so are Ben and Joy Taylor as well
as Goldie and Tom Crystal.”
His naivete amused me as his father, smiling,
explained :” I think, Debbie has not explained this
well to you as yet....we need the bride’s
parents...they also have to ‘give’ the daughter
away, you know in the kanyadaan ceremony.”
“I know, Dad, but all the six of them want to take
part. They are all her parents, you know,” Deepu
said.
“All her parents? Six of them?!” cried my husband
and me in one voice.” What do..you...how...”
eepu shook his head.” That can’t be, it, Mom.
Debbie wants all of them...let me explain.” He
took a deep breath and began.
“She wants Joy and Dick because they are her
biological parents, but then, she says, it was her
stepfather Ben who brought her up, and so she feels
more daughterly towards him than anyone else..He
is Dad to her in the real sense of the word.”
My head reeled and I could see a glazed look
close over my husband’s eyes.
“But then, Debbie swears she was never really
close to Joy. It was her father’s second wife Goldie
who steered her through the turbulent teen
years...so, she wants Goldie to give her away....but
then, you see, Goldie separated from Dick and
married Tom Crystal and Dick’s wife is now
Pam...so, how can they be left out?’
His father and I looked at each other in shock.

D
eepu led us gently to the settee.” Sit down
comfortably, both of you, and I’ll explain. It’s
all very easy, really.”
We slumped down and waited. Deepu sat in front
of us, leaned forward and locked his fingers
together earnestly.
“It’s like this,” he began.” Debbie’s
biological parents are Joy Taylor and Dick
Gordan...”
“What..t..t?” we cried.
“Yeah...but they separated when she
was a kid. Dick married Goldie and soon
Ben Taylor married Joy.”
“What..t..t..t?” we shrieked.
“But then, a few years later, Goldie and
Dick divorced . She married Tom Crystal
and he went ahead to marry Pam.”
“Whaa...t..t?!!” we bawled .
“Why do you keep saying ‘What?
What?’ like that?” Deepu demanded
testily.” In the U.S this kind of stuff is very
common.”
I found my voice first.” You mean, most of the
elders in the group are in some way or other
Debbie’s parents?” I stuttered.
Deepu looked relieved.” Yup! That’s it, in a
nutshell. All the elders are parents and all the
youngsters are her stepsisters and brothers.Thank
god, you’ve worked it out so splendidly.”
‘Leave me out, son,” his father
Panditji groaned.” You lost me early on...but I think
became quite I’ve caught the general drift.”
cooperative “Don’t worry, Dad. Mom knows...and,
after this Mom, I am depending on you,” said our
appeal! “I’ll son looking at me appealingly with puppy
not raise any dog eyes which never have failed to melt
objection if my heart from the time he was a kid...
different But all that I could manage by way of
persons come reply was a “ Ye..ah..Arr..gh...gh...” It
as the bride’s seemed to satisfy Deepu for he walked out
parents at of the room, whistling the bridal march.
different The family panditji threw up his hands in
times,” despair when we told him about the
he said. required adjustments. Earlier,in fact, when

82 Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010

we had told him that we wanted a proper traditional
wedding, he had been thrown into confusion as he
had quite got used to modern-day truncated
ceremonies. In fact, he had almost forgotten most of
the long mantras, he confessed candidly, but would
refresh his memory from his diaries, so that our new
daughter-in-law was not disappointed.
And, now this....
“Yeh, kaise ho sakta hai?” he demanded.” Three
pairs of parents? Hai, this Kali Yug!!”
“Why are you concerned who will appear as the
bride’s parents for the different rituals,
Panditji?”asked my husband soothingly.”You simply
do what you have to do...and you can expect a little
something extra for your trouble, you know.”

P
anditji became quite cooperative after this
appeal! “I’ll not raise any objection if different
persons come as the bride’s parents at different
times,” he said,” but the kanyadaan, which is a
very important ritual...which pair of parents will do
this?”
We put the question to Deepu who at once
claimed that all six parents would want to do it.” IT’s
like giving away the bride, isn’t it? I’m sure there will
be a stampede in the mandap,” he prophesied but these ex-wives and ex-husbands are all like one
fearfully.” Can the panditji do something? big happy family!”
Indeed, he could, it turned out. He offered two Another hurdle had been negotiated successfully.
options. It was a wedding to remember. It was a
“The six persons can all stand in a line, touching beautifully balmy March evening when everyone
the person in front of each while the first couple will congregated at the small temple, tastefully decorated
do the actual kanyadaan,” he said.” This will keep with garlands, lamps, incense sticks and rangoli
them connected, you see.It will be as if all of them patterns on the floors.
are doing the kanyadaan.” Our Indian guests enthusiastically assisted the
“Ah, like electricity passing through a wire,” visitors in every possible way. Slipping sari pleats
supplied my husband, knowledgeably... were retrieved from the ground and pinned into
“Correct,” said Panditji. place, cholis were tugged down and dupattas
“And the second option?”I asked. placed over shoulders. The men made an impressive
“All of them stand in a circle with their hands on sight in their embroidered kurtas, shervanis and
the kanyadaan kalash,” he offered.”And the sacred bandgallas. All wore marigold garlands and large
milk can be poured in a joint effort, so to say,” red tilaks on their foreheads.
supplied the panditji, clearly pleased by his own

resourcefulness.
“That could be messy,” I said. “In the confusion,
the kalash may drop...I think, the first ‘electric
current’ method is better.”
Deepu liked the idea too.
“Won’t there be difficulty choosing the first pair of
parents?” I asked.” How will they decide?”
“I’ll tell them to draw lots,” said our ever
optimistic son.” Debbie will take care of it. They all
love her and will listen to anything she says. She can
even pretend it is the way we do it here in India.”
“These people are really amazing!” breathed my
husband with awe.” Here, in our country,a divorce
brings such a lot of acrimony, bitterness and grief
D
eepu and Debbie were the cynosure of all
eyes. He looked dashing and handsome in a
dark blue zari-worked kurta and the sehra of
flowers on his face. His bride in a bloodred gagra
choli and jewellery which threatened to weigh her
down was the picture of demure beauty.
As expected, as the ceremonies began, our
guests looked puzzled as Goldie and Tom
welcomed everyone but later at the jaymala
function, it was Pam and Dick who came forward as
the bride’s parents. Soon, Joy and Ben Taylor
stepped into the decorated mandap officiating as
Debbie’s Mom and Dad.
A buzz of curious conversation began among

Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010 83

the congregation as people wondered what was
going on. With great insight and wit, my youngest
brother-in-law went to the mike and explained the
unique situation in a few choice words. His
explanation was heard in attentive silence and
followed by nods of approval and smiles of
understanding.
Everyone seemed to say, what better arrangement
could have been conceived to honour all these
important parent figures in the bride’s life?
necks,which they had picked up shopping in
Janpath the day before.
Then, when Panditji with calm authority, gave the
signal, each of them carefully placed a hand on the
person in front, making the “connection.” Brimming
with importance, Panditji started his mantras loud
and sonorous while the shehnai went into an
earsplitting crescendo....
Getting into the spirit of things, all the guests
broke into spontaneous applause as a smiling
Debbie was given away by her six parents into the

T
he highlight of the wedding was, without
doubt, the kanyadaan ceremony when six
excited persons strode purposefully into the
small mandap almost crowding out the poor Panditji
and the grinning Deepu. And then the kanyadaan
line was formed headed by Goldie and Tom Crystal!
They presented an interesting assembly. Goldie
wore a white hat with her peacock blue
Kanjeevaram sari, and Tom had his cowboy shoes
beneath his silk churidaar. Pam wore huge dark
glasses while Dick’s straw hat was so rakishly worn
that it threatened to fall into the havan. Pam and
Dick had long strings of beads around their
willing hands of her exultant groom.....
A sumptuous lunch followed the marriage where
the guests dipped into the delicious spread.
Everyone declared that it had been a beautiful and
meaningful ceremony.It was the talk of our
community for a long,long time.
Now, six years later, we have two members added
to our family. A blue-eyed,red- haired five-year-old
Revati and a chubby, dusky, six-month old David.
Deepu’s and Debbie’s kids, our grandchildren.
With authority, I vouch that whoever said, East is
East and West is West, and ne’er the twain shall
meet, was simply talking through his hat! We

family members for her generosity. affirmative. He stood up thankfully,

The joy of giving
My grandma was a great
philanthropist. She was always there
to help the poor and the villagers in
dire need of food, clothes or any
other kind of help she could manage
for them. With only a few bighas of
ancestral land among our big joint
family, we ourselves were not very
comfortable economically. But not a
single day passed, as long as I
remember during my childhood,
when my grandma did not lend a
helping hand to someone in need.
I also remember an incident when
my grandma was chided by one of
my uncles for giving away her
woollen blouse and shawl to a
destitute woman, while not having
any spare set to keep herself warm in
the chilly morning of January. But
my grandma remained insulated to
all the chiding she received from the
84
She always remained calm, composed,
cheerful and generous.
With old age catching up fast, her
trips to the village households reduced
and then totally stopped because of her
failing health. With every passing day
her health was deteriorating. The
doctor treating her lost hope and one
evening, he declared that she could
leave any moment for her final
journey. People started pouring in with
tears in their eyes to see her, to pay
gratitude to her selfless service and to
bid goodbye. Every one of us was
concerned with her health. But most
concerned amongst us was my uncle,
who had once chided my grandma for
her generosity.
His daughter’s marriage was only
two days away and in case of my
grandma’s death before the marriage,
the marriage would not take place and
it wasn’t possible to hold it before her
first death anniversary. That evening,
he sat by her side, held her hand with
both of his hands and whispered in her
ear, Chaachi, beti ki shaadi kaa yagna
paar karaa dijiyega na? My grandma
opened her eyes, looked at him
peacefully and signalled her approval
by closing her eyes and nodding in
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
touched her feet for blessings and got
busy in preparing for the marriage.
Grandma remained stable,
occasionally coughing and opening
her eyes. One of us always remained
by her side. Marriage day arrived and
the next evening the bride left for her
new home.
My uncle and everyone else felt
relieved. Immediately after the
departure of his daughter, he rushed
to my grandma, touched her feet and
thanked her for keeping her words
and saving him from trouble. She
slowly opened her eyes and her lips
moved a bit to give a smile in
acknowledgement.
The next morning, I woke up to
the loud wails of my mother and
aunts. My uncle was also crying
inconsolably. I saw my grandma laid
motionless on her bed, dead! I still
remember her wrinkled face – with
an exceptionally relaxed and peaceful
expression. While we cried, there she
lay, still and with a hint of smile on
her face. I understand today the
meaning of that smile – it was
nothing but an expression of ‘the joy
of giving’!
– Madhukar Mohan, Gujarat.

Q&
I am 25 years old and have recently
delivered a baby whom I am breast-
feeding. Please advise as to when I
can resume normal sexual activity.
The return to sexual activity after
delivery will vary in different women.
Many women who had an episotomy
done, cannot resume sexual activity
earlier than four months because of
perineal discomfort. Women who had
no such problem generally partake in
sex in six weeks. Most young women
A
may feel fatigued and those who are
breastfeeding their baby, lose interest
in sex. In fact, there is no hard and fast
rules in this regard. All must be guided
by the health of the young mother.
I have delivered a baby two weeks
back. Please tell me the time till I
may not use any contraceptive
method. Your kind advice is solicited.
As a rule, postpartum, an
ovulatory infertility persists for five
weeks in non-lactating women and
eight weeks or more in lactating
women. This contraception effect of
lactation is generally present up to
six months but in later months it may
be desirable to supplement sex
activity with other contraceptive
methods.
Q
I am 25 years of age and recently
married. While palpating my breast I
observed small palpable masses
which were highly mobile. These are
soft and rubbery. I am scared lest I
have got cancer of the breast. Please
help.
Your fears are well founded.
Probably what you are feeling are
small fibroadenomas which are
benign tumours generally found in
young women. The size of these
masses varies and sometimes
enlarge. Though these swellings are
not considered cancerous, it is
equally essential to get a biopsy done
to exclude any malignant growth.
Depending on hormonal balance
these masses may decrease in size.
If these become too big, they will
require surgical excision.
Q
I am 18 years old and a few days
before the start of my menstrual
cycle, I get irritable, moody with poor
concentration in my studies as well
as some degree of depression. I do
not know what it is. Please help.
What you have got is
premenstrual syndrome (PMS) which
is quite common in young women.
What it occurs in some women is not
clear but it is related to hormonal
levels in the body. You should
consult your doctor who will prescribe
the required medicines. Do not panic.
These attacks may not last for long
and get controlled in the appropriate
Q
time.
I am 40 years old. Unfortunately my
hair has started going grey. I am very
worried. A friend told me to avoid hair
dye since it can cause hair loss.
Please advise.
Grey or white hair in any person
develops due to various factors like
genetics, poor nutrition and bad hair
hygiene. You have to accept that you
are growing up and the greyness of
hair is a sign of ageing. Depending
on your hair colour you can select the
hair dye of any good standard
company. The major drawback with
the use of hair dye is the develop-
ment of allergic reactions for which
you will have to be careful, but there
is no report of loss of hair by the use
of hair dye.
Q
I am a 30-year-old executive. My
problem is that I sweat excessively
in my armpits. This emits not only
bad odour but also creates
embarrassment. Please help.
You probably suffer from
excessive activity of the sweat
glands. For this maintain good
hygiene of the area. Trim the hair
there regularly since these are likely
to entrap the bacteria. Wash your
underarms regularly with a good
antibacterial soap. Avoid synthetic
clothes. Dust your underarms with lot
of talcum powder.
Avoid fried and spicy foods. Cut
down on your intake of coffee and
colas. Take a lot of fresh fruits and
green vegetables. In case all these
measures fail, you can take the help
of a plastic surgeon, who will inject
Botox in the underarms to block the
release of enzymes responsible for
the stimulation of excessive secretion
of sweat from sweat glands. But this
should be done only under medical
advice.
Q
I am 30 years old. My problem is that
I have started getting pain in my
knees which makes walking difficult. I
am very worried. Please help.
First you must consult your doctor
who after examining and
investigating you will be able to find
the cause of your problem. Knee pain
in young women can be due to
various causes. Besides medical
problems like wearing of high heels, it
could be walking on uneven surfaces
and bad posture.
As per advice change your
footwear, do stretch exercises to
make the muscles round about knee
strong. Avoid climbing stairs too
much. If you are overweight then it
would be advisable to reduce. Also
avoid lifting heavy objects. Further
you may use a knee cap while going
out. It will help in firming up your
knee joint.
— Dr S. N. Khosla, MD.
The little master
Proper clothing can transform the looks of
even a kid and fashion out an attitude in
him which makes him look business-like,
without robbing him of his innocence.
Here is Mehar in different outfit.

In a colourful
half-sleeved
chequered
shirt, a
slanting cap,
In jeans, half pants
jersey and and sports
goggles, the boots, the
kid is all set boy is ready
for a cycling for a game of
competition. tennis.
 In a jogging
Equipped with shoes, and
sun-protection attired in
device and sports
dressed clothes, the
in the best lad has a
ultra way, the football under
boy is ready his foot for
to step out. action.

B O M B A Y F I L M D O M
R akesh Roshan may well have
created a record by releasing
Kites with the largest number of
prints in India and abroad but, alas,
the film didn’t live up to his
expectations. It did not soar past 3
idiots on the box office sky. In a bid to
make an impression in the global
arena, the film-makers in the opinion
of a critic forgot that the basic
foundation of a film is a good story
with Indian ambience.
T he West looks to India for the
song-and-dance fare with a story
Hrithik Roshan and Katrina Kaif in “Kite”.
that has an Indian essence such as
in Monsoon wedding. The Namesake
or Bandit Queen which it didn’t find in
Kites.
T he director of kites, Anurag Basu
says in my career it
is just another film.
When we took the film
to Cannes and saw the
reaction of the foreign
press our confidence
grew. We decided to
see whether we can
really make it a global
Katrina Kaif and Ranveer Kapoor in
“Raajneeti”.
film”? Obviously, something went
awry somewhere.
K atrina Kaif concedes that she has
a problem of accent but asserts
that she is not a foreigner. For her
small role in Prakash Jha’s Raajneeti,
she worked hard for 28 days on her
dialogues. She doesn’t care for the
length of the role so long as the film
does well. With kites having failed, it
is all the more important that
Raajneeti ends the dry spell at the
box office.
Sunny, Dharmendar and Bobby in
“Yamla, Pagla, Deewana”.
I t’s good news indeed that the Dads
– Dharmendar, Sunny and Bobby –
are presently working in Samir
Karnik’s Yamla, Pagla, Deewana, a
title taken from a song in Pratigya (a
Dharmendar-Hema starrer) and that
Sunny will, before long, start shooting
for Neeraj Pathak’s Gannit. Wasn’t it
a little too early to write off the Deols,
particularly Sunny?
Kareena
Kapoor, the
highest paid
reigning
leading lady
in filmdom.
P eople who want to make it big in
life never look back. They always
look ahead. Example? Kareena
Kapoor. Having made her debut with
Refugee in June 2000 she is
reportedly the highest paid reigning
leading lady in filmdom today who
has done full justice to many roles
such as in Chameli, Kabhi Khushi
kabhi Gham and Omkara to name
only three.
M ore than two decades ago when
producer Dinesh Patel gave a
break to Ajay Devgan (whose starrer
Raajneeti will have been released by
the time these lines appear in print),
some people told him he was backing
a wrong horse, but Dinesh was
adamant and he did give a break to
Ajay who has fully upheld the
confidence of Dinesh. Making a
beginning as an action hero, now
Ajay is damn good at comedy too. No
wonder therefore his kitty is full and
with challenging roles to boot.
B elieve it or not, Priyanka Chopra
is now one up on Draupadi (of
Mahabharata)! Intrigued? While
Draupadi had five husbands, the five
Pandava brothers, Priyanka plays
wife to seven husbands in Saat
Khoon Maaf being directed by vishal
Bhardwaj. The film is based on writer
Ruskin Bond’s story or novel
Susannaʼs Seven Husbands.
It will not be inappropriate to say that
it is almost a windfall for Sonam
Anil Kapoor will be seen with
daughter Sonam Kapoor, in Yash
Raj Films’ new venture.
Kapoor that she has been signed by
Yash Raj Films to work in a film with
(hold your breath) her father, Anil
Kapoor, a talented and committed
actor who has been around for
umpteen years. Surely, she can learn
a lot from him.
T wo distinct plus points of Anil
Kapoor are that he is always
ready to take up challenging roles,
and that he always looks at the
positive side of things. Although his
film Gandhi – My Father didn’t do so
well at the box office, it got him good
deal of critical acclaim as a result of
which all the CEOs of big production
houses in Hollywood came to know
him. Consequently, he was signed for
Slumdog Millionaire and had the first
taste of international recognition.
A amir Khan, Kareena Kapoor and
Sharman Joshi starrer 3 Idiots
which reaped gold at the box office
was slated to be screened at the
inaugural Aruba International Festival
hosted by Hollywood actor Richard
3 Idiots was stated to be screened at the
Aruba International Festival.
Gere. The film has been produced by
Vidhu Vinod Chopra and directed by
Rajkumar Hirani.
E ncouraged by the huge success
of Love Aaj Kal, Saif Ali Khan and
Dinesh Vijan and their Illuminati Films
have decided to join hands with Eros
International Media Ltd to make
Agent Vinod. To be directed by
Sriram Raghavan, the film will be an
action adventure starring Saif Ali
Khan and Kareena Kapoor in lead
roles.
K eeping in view the dictum ‘all
work and no play makes Jack a
dull boy’ Akshay Kumar (who has
been over-busy for a couple of
months) had a four-day vacation, with
friends in Barbados from where he
flew to London in a private plane! It is
reported from the sets of Patiala
House.
It seems gone are the days when
stars used to throw tantrums
resulting in cancellation of shooting
schedules. Kareena Kapoor and
Shah Rukh Khan stuck to their
shooting schedules in spite of high
fever working in different films. No
wonder, these workaholics are where
they are. It’s their passion for work
and professionalism which has taken
them to the top.
A lthough Jaya Bachchan withdrew
her nomination to the Rajya
Sabha by the Samajwadi Party on
the ground that hubby Amitabh
Priyanka Chopra plays wife to seven
husbands in “Saat Khoon Maaf”.
Bachchan didn’t like her to contest,
another person who must be the
happiest at her decision will surely
be her devar Chaudhary Amar Singh
who was expelled from the party
some time ago. He would have
preferred Bhabhiji stopping to go to
Rajya Sabha the day he was
expelled.
T he tallest actor in filmdom (fun
intended), yes, Amitabh
Bachchan is in the news again for the
welcome reason that he has been
absolved by a court in U.P. in the
case related to the Intermediate
college for girls he had planned to
start in Daulatpur in the name of his
bahurani Aishwarya Rai and had
made an announcement with all the
fanfare, but the college never took off
the ground. Some people had alleged
financial irregularities too in the case.
The court has given a clean chit to
Amitabh. Celebration time at the
Bachchan household?
R ohit Shetty must be one of the
happiest man in filmdom today,
having become the ‘first director ever’
to make the third chapter of a film.
He claims Golmaal 3 “is a complete
wholesome entertainer”. Let’s hope
he is proved right by the cinegoers,
the ultimate judges.
3 Idiots scaled new heights when it
was screened at the united
Nations headquarters in New York,
followed by a discussion on the film’s
message regarding the education
system. The director of the film,
Rajkumar Hirani who was present on
the occasion said he felt honoured to
present his film to the UN. Congrats
Raj.
A cting on the adage variety is the
spice of life’, Madhur Bhandarkar
(of Chandani Bar fame) has now set
his heart on directing a light-hearted
film titled Dil Toh Bachcha Hai.
Among others, the film will star Ajay
Devgan, Emraan Hashmi and Omi
Vaidya (Chatur of 3 idiots fame).
It’s a measure of his stature that
director Mani Ratnam will be
honoured with the ‘glory to the
Filmmakers Award’ at the Venice
Film Festival. Both Hindi and Tamil
version of his film Raavan will be
shown at the festival.
D etermination backed by sustained
effort always pays. Latest
example? Tusshar Kapoor, yes
Jeetendra’s son, has finally bagged a
solo hero film after doing quite a few
multistarrers. Amrita Rao will be his
leading lady in the film titled Love you
Mr. Kalakar to be produced by
Rajshri!
S harmila Tagore, Aparna Sen,
Rahul Bose and Radhika Apte
Tusshar Kapoor is solo
hero in Rajshri’s film “Love
you Mr Kalakar”.
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
Akshay Kumar had a four-day vacation
in Barbados.
starrer Antaheen made by Aniruddha
Roy Choudhary was the only Indian
entry to the Shanghai International
Festival. The film has already won a
National Award.
D ifferent people react
situations/incidents differently.
The terrorists attack on Mumbai’s Taj
to
Mahal hotel in November 2008 sent
shock waves all around but believe
it or not, it also inspired some. The
plight of the policemen who suffered
in the attack moved writer Mohanish
Sharan so much that he wrote a
script from their perspective. The film
titled Ashok Chakra has been
directed by S. P. Munishwar.
H ard Kaur (an interesting name
isn’t it?) would always be grateful
to Akshay Kumar, for it is he who
decided to cast her in Patiala House.
Nikhil Advani and Akshay had seen
her performing in Jhalak Dikhla Ja in
the Giddha Bhangra episode and
thought she was perfect for the role
in Patiala House in which Akshay
plays the male lead.
F ashion designer Ritu Beri who
obviously must have designed
wardrobes for many stars considers
her collaboration with music wizard
A. R. Rahman for A. R. Rahman Jai
Ho The Journey Home World Tour
2010 which commenced on 11 June
in New York her most thrilling
experience to date. Rahman and
large troupe will visit many countries.
– Deepak Puri
91
CURE FOR
HEARTBREAK
How to deal with personal loss.

M
By Sucharita Dutta-Asane
aya and her friend
Gitanjali lost their sons in
an accident. Maya’s son
was behind the wheel
when the truck slammed
into them. Maya refused to
take up the wheel or for
that matter do anything
else ever again. Shattered
beyond belief or
expectation, she plunged into her
teaching job with a renewed fervour,
adopted a child and moved on. Maya
gave up her job and stayed at home,
unable to deal with the loss.
When the past crowds in on us,
we leave almost no room for the
present – or the future for that matter.
Maya did just that and clutched her
past so tight that it squeezed the
breath out of her own present and
future. But how many of us are able
to cope with loss and get on with life?
How easy is it? And what can one do
to deal with the loss of a loved one –
even a pet – in such a way that the
past doesn’t keep intruding on the
present? Is everything lost when we
lose a lover, husband, child, parent,
or foetus in the womb?
There is a lot more to life beyond
the loss. Here are ways to recover
from the trauma and carry on with life
and its unfulfilled potential.

Crying is the best medicine: Cry

away the pain. This is often more
difficult than it sounds, and for many,
the toughest option. Too many
considerations creep in putting those
tears at bay, piling up behind the
eyes and in the brain, waiting for the
floodgates to open. A friend who lost
her mother recently couldn’t cry
because she had to think of her
father and her mother’s mother.
Wanting to howl, she swallowed the
tears. But they were there, just
behind the eyelids, making her look
more at pain than the two persons
she had to look after.
When Chetna lost her six-month-
old foetus, she wanted to howl into
the night. But when her three-year-
old stared at the gathering tears in
her eyes, she swallowed the tears.
The pain still haunts her waking
hours, but the tears dried up long
ago, leaving behind a vacuum that
she fights to fill. The vacuum
threatens to engulf her at times and
the fight is harder than it would have
been at the time of crisis. If only she
had shed the tears and explained her
pain in some way to her child.
Not to cry is advice given
thoughtlessly. The stricken person
needs to cry, to dilute the pain and
stave off future heartache.
Live positive: When Maya
refused to take up the steering wheel
or resume her daily life, she slumped
into negative thinking. Gitanjali did
the opposite. Negative thinking is the
antithesis of cure. With a negative
approach, you can neither stop the
tears when required nor take timely
action. The first step, therefore, is to
accept the situation and move on.
The past is past and, though it is a
hurtful one, it is still behind you.
Ratna Khemani, director, Center for
Personality Development, Pune, has
this wonderful piece of advice for
traumatised people: “At all times, be
your own friend, support yourself,
motivate yourself, encourage
yourself, try to be optimistic, say
to yourself, everything is going to
be all right.” This could be the
credo for bouncing back to life
and liveliness.
Accept, accept, accept:
Don’t shut out the truth of what
happened. The mind has a way
of opening doors and windows
long kept closed. It is best to
accept things and to move on.
That is what Gitanjali did but
Maya didn’t. The choice about
the quality of life we want to
lead lies in our hands, so
choose to accept and carry
on.
The circle of care:
Fighting loss alone is a horrific
curse. Try to live among
friends, acquaintances and
relatives who care for you.
Their circle of care will serve
as a protective shield and
soothe the heartache without
your realising it. Laughter and
music, gossip and chatter are
sure cures for the spirit.
Write: Writing is catharsis.
If nothing works, write. Chetna
filled a little bit of the vacuum
by writing about her loss and
pain. The pain oozed out
slowly, spilled along the page
and softened the rock-like
DON’T SHUT
OUT THE TRUTH burden she felt after losing her as-
OF WHAT yet-unborn-child. Writing and talking
HAPPENED. THE erodes the pain, leaving you feeling
lighter and more at peace. Writing
MIND HAS A WAY about your feelings is like talking to
OF OPENING yourself.
DOORS AND Exercise: A brisk walk, some
WINDOWS minutes on the treadmill, aerobics,
LONG KEPT dancing, or a swim is just the big
CLOSED. IT IS boost your heart may need.
According to Ms Khemani, “Exercise
BEST TO ACCEPT is an excellent antidote. It stimulates
THINGS AND secretions of sorotonin, the ‘happy
TO MOVE ON. hormone’ that is artificially created in
the Prozac pill, the highest selling
drug in the USA. Taking it creates
an artificial state of joy, a feeling of
happiness, which lessens as the
effect of the drug wears off.”
There are no universal
remedies. Some are happier
crying, while for others the burden
lessens by helping others in need.
Whatever the nature or personal
attribute, every human being
needs a salve for their emotional
wounds and, when it comes from
within, nothing could be more
effective. We
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010 95
 Ranjan Kumar Mallik
Born: 3 May 1976, Balasore,
Orissa
E-mail:
ranjanmallik_artist@yahoo.com
ranjanmallikartist@gmail.com
www.ranjanmallikartist.com
Mobile: 991195016, 9911127216
Academic qualification: B.F.A.
(Painting) B. K. College of Art &
Crafts, Utkal University, Orissa,
M. F. A. (Painting) & M.Phil
(History of Art) Lalit Kala
Sansthan, Dr, B. R.Ambedkar
University, Agra
Shows: 15 solo shows, 38 group
shows, 20 camp shows and nine
seminars in India.
Awards:

ANIMALS SYMBOLISE HIS

• National Award - Kalabhushan,
kalarang kalasang, 2007
• M.C. National Award

THOUGHT PROCESS
Chandrabhaga Orissa, 2006
• National Award - Pratibhashree
• First Award in College Painting,
UP, 2003
• All Indian Women’s Federation,
Agra 2003 An artist who aims to create a silent
• Swagat –2003, Agra, 2003
revolution in the mind of the viewer.

• Lalitkala Sketch Award, Dr. B. R.
Ambedkar University, Agra, 2002
• Youth Festival, U.P. 2002
• B. K. College of Art & Craft
Annual Award, Bhubaneswar,
2000
• S. P. Memorial Award,
Bhubaneswar, Orissa, 1999
Publication (Book)
Portraits of Agra, 2003
Visual Art, 2005
About me:
I am a full-time creative artist.
Painting is not the subject of
shapes, tones, colours and their
eternal relationship along with the
play of light that creates a
sensation. I paint because I wish
to respond and communicate to
this sensation. There is a selection
of figurative shapes and colour
tones rendered in surrealistic styles
with different mediums and
brushstrokes for my painting.
Mostly I like the human figure and
animals in an abstract background
for visual aesthetics. My subjects
are socio-living relations.
T
By Subhra Mazumdar
he artist is an all-rounder.
Having fulfilled his urge to be
a practising painter, Ranjan
Kumar Mallik has pushed the
barriers of art still further and
continued to add academic
glory to his artistic
inclinations. He has done a
doctoral thesis on the Jain
art of the Chitrakut region
and has honed his skills by working
along with Jatin Das, the leader
among contemporary masters. A
nature lover par excellence, his is the
voice that is audible in bringing
home the fact that other
creatures on our fragile earth
need a voice to put forth the
sufferings they have to
endure, at the hands of
humans.
Excerpts from an interview:
Why do animals feature
in almost all your paintings?
For me, the animal is a
symbol of my thought process.
I observe nature silently, especially
through the medium of animals who
cannot voice their feelings. I try to
decipher the feelings of these dumb
folk and try to see how urban lifestyle
is a modern-day torture imposed on
them. They are misfits in city life and
yet man has subjected them to this
torture. We keep them for our own
benefit and our status as human
beings increases as we minister to
them. In actual fact, animals are the
sufferers rather than the beneficiaries
of our actions.
What are the
emotions that you like
to portray on your
canvases?
It is the sufferings
linked with urban life that
comes to the fore. I
know that domesticating
or using animals is an
age-old practice, but
when one steps back

96 Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010

 Within & beyond

Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010 97


and thinks, it is this practice that is
behind the cycle of suffering in our
lives. It seems that animals forced to
live away from their natural confines,
are waiting out their time and longing
for the end to come.
When did this stark fact about
animals in urban settings strike
you as cruelty?
This realisation came to me when
I moved to Delhi in 2000. Life here
was such a contrast to the lifestyle of
my home town. There was show -
manship and a muddle and chaos all
round. The lifestyle that people were
living seemed unnatural to me. I felt I
was an animal myself trapped within
this urban jungle.
How did you react to this
situation in your art?
I did not want to take on the role of
a complainant. Instead, I adopted the
stance of a silent observer. I began to
put myself in the animal’s shoes and
wondered why human beings wanted
to dominate the situation. This made
a deep inquisitive and thought
Pratibhashree honour, Orissa.
98
provoking angle enter my paintings. It
was not a complaining stance but
one of deep curiosity.
How is the human-animal
relationship depicted in a work?
In my current works, there is a
human figure on the canvas. I show
people who are urban in their make-
over…the Page 3 figure, the body
builder, the couple, etc. The style of
depiction is surrealistic and the
technique that I have adopted is not a
smooth application of colours. It is a
technique done as a spray, using a
sponge, rollers, manual fingers and
impasto. At times I even resort to
smudging parts of the canvas. This
gives a varied texture to the works.
Have you found ready
acceptance of your art
in galleries?
I have had a very
successful showing of
my works at the
Reflection Art Gallery.
The series was titled
Within and Beyond and
invited widespread
commentary. It is my
policy to paint keeping
the public in mind. That
does not mean that I
pander to their desires. I
paint saying that I am not
the right person to
adjudge the work. I give
Kalabhushan National award, Gwalior, MP
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
a constructive shape to the idea
according to my aesthetics. It is then
up to the viewer to make his own
judgement. Of course, my aim is to
create a silent revolution in the mind
of the viewer and thereby awaken a
sense of civic responsibility.
Narrate an exhibition that
stands out in your mind.
It was an exhibition held in
Balasore on the occasion of the
fiftieth year of our independence. It
was titled Freedom and depicted
freedom through colours, things that
bring on a reaction, and through
forms related to independence, such
as landscapes and flags. This
exhibition is also important to me
because I made the first sale of a
painting on that occasion.
What other form
of the plastic arts
interests you?
I am also interested
in photo graphy and
the making of short
films. As I travel
around metro cities, I
am attracted to the
cries of tortured
animals and am
moved by the sight of
pain in their eyes. I try
to take a shot of that
moment through the
lens. In the domain of
film-making I have
made a documentary on Fakir Mohan
Senapati, a patriot and freedom
fighter from Orissa.
What would you describe as
your best show?
This is not on animals at all. It
was titled Dulha Bikaavu Nahi Hai. It
was done in the context of public art
in Agra. It showed the manner in
which prospective grooms are
measured up in terms of their
material standing. My message
through my art is that there should
be a stop to this marketing of men as
commodities. Marriage is a relation-
ship and not a commercial trans -
action and as such, the two should
not be linked. We
 CAPITAL
Chit - C h a t
A BETTER TRAFFIC
SCENE
Delhi, the city which is a
scintillating mix of the modern and
the ancient, is always getting more
than its share of criticism. The most
recent says, driving on the city roads,
it seems is a big hazard for health.
According to a recently completed
2010 Commuter Pain Survey
compiled by IBM, Delhi is the fifth
“most painful city for drivers.” The
survey recorded the economic and
emotional toll on the drivers in 20
major cities all around the world.
Delhi with an 81 per cent score
ranked fifth.
Apparently 96 per cent of the city
drivers claimed that their health was
affected by the driving; 62 per cent
said their work and academic
performance was negatively affected.
The stop and start traffic was the
major stress creator.
But how does Delhi compare with
the other international cities? The
best traffic is in the Scandinavian
countries. Stockholm is the best in
the 20 city list, Beijing the worst. New
York is better than London which
appears in the middle of the list.
Delhi is the fifth “most painful city for
drivers” in the world.
100
One bit of consolation is that Delhi
had the most people admitting that
there has been a major improvement
on the traffic scene in recent years.
Thanks to the Metro?
TRAFFIC SNARL
NO MORE
Have you often been caught in a
traffic snarl on Kemal Atartuk Rd,
Safdarjung Rd or Auroubindo Marg
thanks to VIP cavalcades going to the
airport? This irritating feature could
soon be a thing of the past as there
are plans by the Delhi Metro Rail
Corporation to build an underground
tunnel from 7 Race Course Rd, the
PM’s residence to the Safdarjung
Airport to enable the VVIPs to take
helicopters to the IG Airport.
Although these personages do not
drive all the way to the international
airport, they now need to the helipad
at Safdarjung, and this causes traffic
stoppages on arterial roads. Soon,
vehicles will flow smoothly, thanks to
the tunnel, which also reduces
security risks to the VVIPs.
A VISUAL FEAST
How many times have you seen
the ubiquitous slogan “Green- Delhi -
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
Clean Delhi “plastered on every
conceivable space with a rueful
feeling that it is all big hype? Well,
cynics should simply take a Metro
ride from Qutub Minar to Huda City
Centre to change their mindset. The
most fabulous lush greenery will
meet their astonished gaze as the
train fleet through lush foliage,
verdant farmhouses and scenic
beauty which will put them in mind of
the hills! It is not just greenery.
Nestling in between are the pink tops
of the Chattarpur temples, the distant
Aravallis, tiled farmhouse roofs...it is
a 27- minute train ride worth taking if
only for the view! Admittedly, the
visual feast is good only in the Delhi
section which begins with a
marvellous sight of the hoary Qutub
Minar. As the train zooms into
Gurgaon, it is only the concrete
jungle which awaits one, although
there are impressive glass facaded
buildings and the massive malls.
Little doubt, the Metro has changed
not only the look of the capital but
also the lifestyle of the people. The
London Tube built more than a
century ago is standing the test of
time; hopefully our Metro will do the
same too.
BUYING CAR,
THINK AGAIN
If you are planning to buy a car,
think again, especially if you already
own one vehicle and the second is
only a luxury. This warning is
because soon parking fees will jump
to dizzy heights in many upmarket
city zones....and, indeed, this will
cover a large part of the capital,
Metro ride from Qutub Minar to Huda
City Centre will change your mindset.

Car owners will have to pay
astronomical parking fees.
surely? This is all because the MCD
has worked out a new parking
policy...parking fees will be linked to
the locality’s house tax!
Briefly put, colonies which come
under category A will charge Rs 50
for the first two hours, Rs 75 for the
next two and Rs 50 per hour
thereafter. For the same time
periods, parking in category B
localities will be Rs 3o, Rs 50 and Rs
10. Zone C and E will charge Rs 20
and F to H will charge Rs 10. Sounds
complicated? Delhiites will soon get
used to this, and also to the
additional congestion charge which
will be levied in crowded areas like
Connaught Place! Shopping in major
markets will not be such a
pleasurable experience anymore.
The purpose underlying this move
is primarily to discourage people from
using private vehicles, parking along
foot paths,etc. Another order is that a
person who intends to buy a vehicle
will have to show proof that he/she
has adequate parking space within
his premises. One wonders whether
the Metro and now these stringent
parking rules will deter Delhiites from
buying new vehicles. Probably not.
The well-heeled will think it infra dig to
travel by the Metro, and which family
worth its salt will settle for owning less
than three cars at least when they
reach a certain social status?
HOW MUCH MCD
COLLECTS
How much do you think the MCD
collects in the form of property tax? A
mere thousand odd crore at the most,
says a report. Ideally, the amount
102
should be Rs 2500 crore...but this is
not so, for the simpler reason of the
at least 25 lakh properties, only about
10 lakh of them have taxes paid!
This is a shame. And the MCD too
is not amused, and has decided to
take the assistance of a special Delhi
government tax force to identify the
defaulters and bring them to book.
Also, the RWAs and market
associations will be roped in to collect
the tax from their members and
submit it to the MCD.
Fair enough. Indians are quite
ingenious in cooking up ways and
means of escaping the paying of
taxes. If this situation has to be
remedied, drastic steps need to be
taken.
DOGS TO GUARD
LADY CAB DRIVERS
There’s no doubt about it.
Curiouser and curiouser schemes get
thought up by Delhi’s administrators.
Recently, a proposal for approval has
been okayed for the MCD to train
about a 100 women as cab drivers.
So far, so good. But with grave
misgivings about their safety, dogs
will be trained to protect the fair
ladies! Yes, the MCD, according to a
news report, is planning to impart
driving lessons to a 100 women from
all walks of life at a training centre on
a three-acre plot near the Tis Hazari
ice factory in North Delhi. Slum
dwellers of the area can also avail of
the training as it will be a means of
living for them. To keep these female
cabbies safe, German shepherds will
be trained and familiarised to the
Trained dogs will protect lady
cab drivers.
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
women along side. A private
company will be involved on a build-
operate- transfer basis to hire the
trainers and build the centre. Here’s
wishing the plan all success.
DELHI TO BE
SHOWCASED
Delhi will be showcased to the
world like nobody’s, thanks to the
Commonwealth Games and the
30,000 volunteers who have started
training for the job. In the coming three
months, these people drawn from
delhi University, NSS, Ministry of
Tourism, Delhi Government, SAI and
from the general public including
retired bureaucrats, homemakers, and
senior citizens, will be taught by Amity
University, Event Knowledge Services
and others to conduct many aspects
of an international event, emergency
situations,security matters, accommo-
dation affairs, press operations,
etc.There will also be lessons on body
language and sports terminology.
According to the authorities, there is a
high level of dedication and a general
keen willingness to spend time doing
something for Delhi among these
volunteers who have come from
different places. The training sessions,
according to a trainer, are “not only
geared to disseminate information but
also to turn this disparate group of
people into a team.” With the
countdown starting for the beginning
of the Games, everyone is jittery. The
Delhi CM has even asked her
ministers to step in and supervise
Games projects so that all glitches are
removed. – Bharati.
30,000 volunteers will be trained for the
commonwealth games.

MORE FOOD TO
TRY AND BUY
At a dinner party recently I was
impressed with a dish of prawns. The
hostess admitted that she bought
them only because she was able to
taste how fresh they were. The
tasting before selling had been
organised by Godrej Nature’s Basket.
So, I visited and found that they were
at this time doing a promotion for
sausages.
To be able to taste what you are
about to buy is always a privilege and
supermarkets in Europe have been
known to do it all the time. Earlier
some shops showcased their
cheeses but to have cooked material
for trial before buying the raw
material of the same quality is indeed
a good move on the part of these
outlets.
For the sausages there were
some interesting offerings from
around the world, the spicy smaller
sausages and the Italian version with
cheese inside with the meat so when
you fried them the cheese melted
Yuvraj Singh launching Fry range of biscuits.
104
DELHI
Events
and gave a wonderful twist. Then
there were the German ones, though
the real white sausage was expected
the next day only.
And now they have managed to
get the famous cricketer Yuvraj Singh
to launch the Fry range of products.
So, if just tasting before buying is not
your thing, as a consumer you also
get celebrity endorsed items and the
day Yuvraj was in the shop, the
visitors and invitees got more than
just the products they purchased.
Considering Fry is a brand from
South Africa and they are currently
hosting the FIFA it was interesting
that Delhi still likes to see a famous
cricketer. These products are made
of soya and wheat but also have
vegetarian products that mimic the
non-vegetarian.
MOCHA COFFEE
NEW OUTLET
If you want to have a good coffee
these days there is so much to
choose from that making a selection
can be tiring. And often these are
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
next to each other as well but when a
coffee outlet is one like the chain
Mocha – the decision is easy
because apart from the amazing
quality and variety of coffees
available there is so much food to
choose from.
Most outlets fall short on two
things – the tables are so cramped
together that it feels more like a
canteen and less like a restaurant or
a coffee outlet. At Mocha in Greater
Kailash I Market, they have not
compromised at all.
You can select from routine
restaurant table chair to a laid-back,
lounge-style diwan and above all a
Gujarati-style ‘jhoola’. At the official
launch day-long event I eyed it
because it was occupied by a family
celebrating the birthday of a 7-year-
old kid with his mother, aunts and
grandmother. The moment they left I
shifted!
The decor is never overpowering
and all Mocha outlets have common
things like attentive staff, great value
for money, food items and
individuality.
Every outlet of Mocha has
something unique to offer. The
healthier options in the fresh fruit
juices and smoothies including Fruit
from the Tropics and Bahut Berry are
delightful.
There is a wide range of tea
options as well and then the hot
chocolates which are so different and
amazingly rich in texture and flavour.
Their tagline says – Mocha Coffees
and Conversations – and yes it is a
great place to have long
conversations with friends, but if out
in the market alone, the place will
provide privacy, good food and coffee
or any other drink and time will just
pass leaving you with fond memories
of Mocha.
– Sona Sharma.

G EMSTONE
A
ncient and yet always at
the height of current
fashion: that is turquoise
for you. Its brilliant sky-blue
belongs to the all-time
favourite trend colours in
the world of fashion and
jewellery. In many cultures
of the old and new worlds
this gemstone has been
well appreciated for thousands of
years as a holy stone, a good-luck
charm or talisman. It is a virtual
“people’s gemstone”. The oldest
proof of this lies in Egypt, where in
tombs from the period around 3000
BC were found artefacts set with
turquoise.
In the ancient Persian kingdom,
the sky-blue gemstones were
originally worn around the neck or on
the hand to ward off unnatural death.
If the stones changed their colour,
there was an imminent danger for the
wearer.
However, in the meantime, it has
been found that turquoises may in
fact change their colour, but this
reaction is not necessarily an
106
THE TURQUOISE A
OF CURRENT FASHION
indication of impending danger. The
reason for the colour change is rather
the influence of light, cosmetic
products, dust or even the ph-value
of the skin, which may all trigger off
chemical responses.
In earlier times turquoises were
sometimes thought to be responsible
for the material wealth of their
bearers. For example, Persian
philosopher Al Kazwini wrote, “The
hand wearing a turquoise and using it
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
An old
precious stone
that’s an
integral part of
today’s
fashions.
By Kusum Mehta
as a sealing stone, will never be
poor.”
Turquoises were loved as
ornaments decorating turbans, often
set in a border of pearls, in order to
protect the wearer from the “evil eye.”
They were used as talismans
decorating daggers, scimitars or the
horses’ bridles.
The turquoise came to Europe
only during the time of the crusades.
And from this period comes the name
“turquoise”, meaning simply “Turkish
stone.”
The turquoise was prized by many
ancient cultures, including those of
Egypt, Persia, Tibet and the Aztecs
and Incas of Central America. The
stone was used as money by
American Indians of the 16th century,
and the gem is associated with
religious rites of the Navajos and
other tribes. The importance of
turquoise to the American Indian
continues to the present day.
At all times in history, the
turquoise was worn to ward off the
influence of dark and evil powers. In
former times thought to protect riders

and horses from accidental
falls, they are nowadays
considered the ideal good-
luck stones for aviators, flight
staff and other professions
who need special assistance
to ward off accidents.
In the contemporary teachings of
the healing power of stones, wearing
the turquoise is recommended to
solve the problems caused by a
negative outlook on life. The bright
and happy colour is supposed to lend
self-confidence to subdued
personalities and it is also very
popular as a token of friendship,
since the turquoise is reputed to be
responsible for faithfulness and
reliable friendships.
Native turquoise occurs primarily
as crusts, nodules, veins and seams
deposited by groundwaters. The
mineral is a hydrous copper
aluminium phosphate, the rich blue
colours are ascribed to copper, while
the presence of iron introduces a
greenish cast. Some of the world’s
finest turquoise comes from north-
eastern Iran. This source supplied
a large portion of the turquoise
imported by Europe and Asia for
centuries and turquoise was a
major Iranian export before
World War I. The oldest turquoise
mines known are in the Sinai
Desert at a place called
Maghara Wadi. Minor
amounts of turquoise are
found in China, Australia,
Tibet, Mexico, Chile
and Afghanistan.
BEST QUALITY,
108
UNIFORMITY IN
COLOUR
Today the United States is a major
source of turquoise. Most of the
mines are in Arizona and New
Mexico, with some production from
Colorado, Nevada and California.
Mining is simple, because turquoise
is usually deposited
on the surface and
only shallow pits or
trenches are needed.
Most mining is done
by hand.
There are several
basic grades of
turquoise. The
turquoise matrix is a
material in which blue
or green gem
material is mixed with portions of
brownish or grey rock. Sometimes
the matrix is in the form of an intricate
lace like pattern, known as spider
web.
So-called Egyptian turquoise is
yellowish-green or greenish-blue.
American turquoise is found in all
shades of blue and green, usually
with some matrix present. Persian
turquoise is dense and non-porous,
so it takes a high polish. This is
among the finest turquoise and is
characterised by a uniform and
intense pale blue or medium blue
colour.
The best quality the turquoise is
uniform in colour, deep blue and free
of matrix. Such stones may sell for
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
tens of dollars per carat. Just below
this in value is fine quality spiderweb.
Turquoise value decreases with
increasing amounts of matrix. In all
cases valuation is based on overall
appearance and depth of colour, as
well as the presence or absence of
green or brown tinge. Uniformity of
colour implies the absence of off-
colour patches or spots. Dark-blue
turquoise is considered the most
desirable, while greenish-blue stones
are of lesser quality. Yellowish-green
material may sell for a few pennies
per carat.
The turquoise is somewhat soft – 6
on the Mohs scale – but is compact
and wears well. It is always opaque
and is therefore cut into beads and
cabochons that sometimes take a high
polish and have a glassy appearance.
Small chips are extensively used
by Indian workers and silversmiths
for inlay purposes and Indian
jewellery with turquoise set in silver
has become very popular. The
variety of rings, bracelets, pendants
and earrings produced is enormous.
Of special interest and popularity
are the ornate necklaces called
“squashblossom” that can weigh
several pounds and may cost
thousands of dollars, depending on
the quality of turquoise they contain
and the intricacy of the workmanship.
American turquoise, with its deep
blue shades, is well qualified for this
kind of work, because light-coloured
Persian turquoise loses effectiveness
when set in brightly polished silver.
Most Indian craftsmen prefer to cut
baroque or free from cabochons,
rather than standardised ovals and
other geometric shapes. Persian
turquoise, on the other hand, is
routinely cut to standard shapes.
Some turquoise is carved into
animal figures and other
decorative shapes. Turquoise
beads are usually baroque
shapes or tumble – polished
nuggets. The turquoise has
been synthetically produced
by Pierre-Gilson of Paris. This
synthetic stone is dense, uniform in
colour and takes a high polish. It
resembles the very finest Persian
turquoise but is priced much lower. We
 THE BEST
WAY IS TO GET
THE PERFECT
lingerie Seduce your man.
By Smita Shenoy
P
icture this: you are getting
married in a couple of
months’ time. Wedding
preparations are on in full
swing. So are your
preparations to have a really
memorable first night. You
want to gift your hubby the
ideal present: You. You buy
a baby pink bedspread and
heart-shaped pillows and arrange for
rose petals to be strewn all over the
bed. You buy a sheer negligee in
lavender blue. What about the
underwear? What about it, you quiz. I
am not wasting my money on such
trivialities, you pout out. You put on
your old set under the transparent
110
negligee and set out to seduce your
man; only to find disappointment writ
large on his face which he tries his
best to conceal. You wonder where
you went wrong. Well, the answer
lies underneath: your lingerie.
In Western countries the lingerie
market is huge. Victoria’s Secret,
Bravissimo etc are prestigious brands
in this field while in India the lingerie
business is still in its infancy.
Awareness is definitely spreading
among the strata of urban women but
the demand for high-end lingerie is
nowhere near that in the Western
countries. The main reason perhaps
is that most women are put off by the
exorbitant prices. In a family set up
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
where each and every penny
matters, spending on lingerie
appears to most as a ‘wasted
expenditure’.
But nothing can be farther from
the truth because the perfectly-fitting
undies not only entice your man they
also give your breasts perfect shape
and support.
So how do you go about playing
the ultimate seductress? Here are
few tips:
Getting your assets into shape:
You may have an hourglass figure
but if you have been wearing ill-fitted
bras, chances are high that your
breasts have gone out of shape or
have started sagging. Your first step
would be to get them in shape. Enrol
for a short stint at your
neighbourhood gym or yoga centre,
of course after ensuring that they
have lady instructors (you would,
obviously, not be comfortable
discussing your doubts on this
subject with a male trainer). Follow
your trainer’s advice very closely.
The right diet: Along with
exercise diet will play an important
role. Most fitness centres have their
in-house dietician. Consult her and
ask for an appropriate diet plan. The
right type of diet will ensure lightness
and suppleness of the body apart
from improving your general health.
Choosing the right lingerie: Now
that you are well on your way to
acquiring the perfect mounds it is
time to go shopping for the befitting
lingerie.
Personal shopping trips:
Although the world is just a mouse
click away, there are certain things
which are best not bought online.
Underwear is one of them. At least
the first time a personal visit is
warranted.
Take help: Once in the shop,
dispel your awkwardness, stride
confidently to the lingerie section and
ask for the shop assistant’s help in
choosing the right material. You have
to cast aside your inhibitions. You are
spending good money on the
purchase and you definitely want
your money’s worth. After all, first
nights do not come along often, do
they?
Friendly shoulder: If you really
are getting cold feet and sweaty
palms at the thought of lingerie
shopping then take along a gal pal
who has done that. Observe her and
learn how she holds herself and
commands the attention of the shop
helpers. One or two trips with her
should also make you a pro at
underwear shopping.
The right fit: Poorly fitted bras
and extra-tight panties are not only
unattractive, they also threaten to cut
off the blood circulation to the vital
areas. Obviously, on your first night
you would not want to literally swoon
in your beloved’s arms. Get your
measurements taken correctly and
then choose the size. For reasons of
personal hygiene, almost no lingerie
shop will allow you to have a trial or
exchange undergarments later. So
you need to make sure at the onset
that your cup size has been perfectly
measured. Same is the reasoning
with panties as well.
The right material: All women
dream of having that elusive satin
underwear bordered with wispy lace
in their boudoir. That works out fine if
you are getting married in a cold
country or the wedding is in the
winter months. But if your D-Day falls
in the middle of May then satin
lingerie may turn out to be a curse.
You certainly would not want to feel
clumsy and uncomfortable on your
most romantic day. Browse through
the store’s catalogue and study the
materials listed. In all probability most
lingerie companies in India will make
the undergarments keeping the
humid Indian climate in mind. So you
can still choose saucy underwear
with lace edges but in cotton: sexy
yet practical. Again, the same logic
applies with respect to buying panties
as well. Choose light, airy fabric with
comfortable elastic bands.
The right colour: A recent poll by
a men’s website showed that 90 per
cent men get turned on by red or
black lingerie, with red having a slight
edge. So become a lady in red or a
black beauty and indulge your man’s colours, powder puff blues, lilacs,
fancy for the night. But just because magenta all work wonders. Keep a
he likes rouge and noir does not stock in an array of colours and keep
mean that you have to fill up your him guessing every night.
wardrobe with the two colours. Pastel Out with the old: Now that you
have chosen the apt undergarments
throw out your old ones out for good.
Do not retain them in a fit of
sentiments. You will only ruin your
hard-earned figure.
Personal hygiene: In the area of
underclothing the importance of
personal hygiene cannot be over-
stressed. Keeping your private parts
clean and strictly following the
washing instructions on your newly-
purchased lingerie are the mantras
to a great looking, new you.
Get ready to enchant your hubby,
armed with these handy tips. Choose
the right lingerie and let the romance
linger forever. We
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010 111
 An artist who
craves for praise
from the
common man.
By ‘Vatsal’

SIMPLICITY
ALLURING

Shikha Agnihotri
Born: 22-Feb-1981 (Kanpur)
Education: PhD. on Drawing &
Painting - Topic - Bhartiya
Chitrakala Mein Khanijon Ki
Bhumika from C.S.J.M. University,
Kanpur.
Solo Shows
Solo Exhibition in Press Club of
India, Delhi in April, 2009; Solo
Exhibition in Lalit Kala Academy,
Lucknow in the year 2008; Solo
Exhibition in Chikutasi Kala Mela,
Kanpur in the year 2003 & 2005;
Solo Exhibition in Kala Mela,
Phool Bagh in the year 1998.
Group Show
Group Exhibition in Atelier - La
Cafe, Sahpurjat, Delhi, on Acrylic
on canvas, 2010; Group Exhibition
in Lokayata Art Gallery, Hauz
Khas, Delhi, on Acrylic on canvas,
2009; Group Exhibition in
Chikutasi Kala Mela, Kanpur in the
year 2001 & 2007.
Awards
Solo Exhibition in Chikutasi Kala
Mela, Kanpur in the year 2003 &
2005 on Oil and Water colour
medium; Solo Exhibition in Kala
Mela, Phool Bagh in the year 1998
on Oil and Water colour medium.
Workshop
Reflections of Vastu in painting
that improve the lifestyle in Interior
Designing.
Collections
Many Collection in art galleries in
India as well as in USA, London
and Australia.
Mob: 9289500841, 9289044197
Email: artist.shikha@gmail.com
www.artistshikha.blogspot.com
A
postgraduate in drawing
from Kanpur University and
PhD holder on Bharatiya
Chitroon Mein Khanijon Ki
Bhoomika, Shikha’s father
played a great role in
moulding her daughter’s
career as an artist. Her
works seem to
communicate messages
through their visual language. There
was an array of styles which are
capable of displaying emotions and
sensibility. The paintings exuded an
innocent charm through their
depictions. She does not believe in
decorating or giving detailing to her
work, even that simplistic and
minimalistic work attracts the
viewers. Krishna is her favourite
subject, and her series is based on
his romantic emotions which is a very
different form. She also likes to depict
strong personality of woman, her
positive aspects and power.
Excerpts from an interview:
Why are you an artist?
I don’t know why I’m an artist, but I
should say art is in my blood. I
like to paint, so I am an
artist.
What have been
major influences in
your life and art?
If I had to think of one
person who influenced
my life tremendously, it
would have to be my father
who helped inculcate in me
this interest at an early age. He
himself is a poet and that is how I
can say that artistic knack is in my
genes. And one more person, Biplab
Biswas, I am really thankful to him
who guides me on important aspects
of Fine Arts from which my paintings
has improved.
Tell us something about your
style of work?
It is semi-realistic from the
beginning. I had never tried to make
my work very realistic, instead I
believe in showing the expressions
through lines only. I feel the detailing
or overdoing mars the essence of the
thoughts and depiction.
Do you think that being a
full-time freelance artist is
a tough task and one has
to work hard to survive?
I am lucky that I had my
father’s support but after
coming to Delhi, it was not
easy for me to establish
myself in terms of financial
aspect. Fact is that this
financial issue often hampers

112 Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010


the creative part of an artist. The
question of livelihood is very big and
if you don’t have any solid
background or financial security then
sometimes artist has to compromise
with his/her work. Working as a
freelance artist is no doubt a tough
task and requires lot of patience.
What is your opinion regarding
the current artists and trend in the
art market?
I also belong to the category of
Sanyasi
current artists and for me everything
is very positive and encouraging. Art
market is also very affirmative.
Opening of the art galleries are in a
way good to explore the new avenues,
especially for the young artists. I think
the future of the new generation is
very bright in every field and they can
prosper if they have an inclination
and positive attitude. These days’
people are drawn towards the art and
parents are also encouraging their
teenagers to join this field.
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
How big is the international
market for Indian art today?
Indian art is getting acclamation
because of our senior artists in the
international market. Outside India
people have started taking interest in
our art as they sense that it has a
feel of spirituality. And it emerges
from the heart and soul. That is why
the concept of Indian art is attracting
them. Especially in Dubai, you will
find that Indian art market is growing
immensely. In my view Indian art
113
would capture the international
market very soon as it is connected
with the soul.
Which class purchases
paintings?
These days the attitude towards
the art work has totally changed,
difference is that the upper class
purchases it for the purpose of
investment and for middle class it has
become the essential part like any
other household item. Selling and
buying art is becoming more and
more commercial because people
consider this an investment that gives
you high returns. Indian art industry is
booming and it surely has a lot to
offer to art connoisseurs and art
industry enthusiasts all across the
globe. Indian art is not only selling
like hot cake, it is selling at pretty
high prices as well. Moreover, the
spending power and indulgence
amongst the masses of the country
has greatly increased due to which
people do not mind investing in
art.
What sort of Indian art sells
more?
Modern contemporary art has
a huge market and online selling
has become very popular
nowadays.
Do you think you have
evolved with the time?
I am improving myself
everyday. It is an endless
journey. You keep on learning if
114
you have dedication and eagerness
to learn. I believe in God and he
thinks positively for me. In my view
right people get right opportunities.
What is the best time to work
on canvas for you?
Early morning.
For an ordinary viewer your
paintings of Krishna are not easy
to recognise as a basic human
form. Do they understand? What
is the response you receive?
My paintings are not too abstract,
so it is not very difficult for viewers
to understand them or to grasp the
Bhav imbibed in them.
What is the USP of your work?
I use bold strokes and flat colours
and only after that give texture to
create a touch of uniqueness.
Do you like experimenting?
If an artist experiments it opens
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
varied horizons for him/her and thus
the best of the work comes out.
Presently I am thinking to depict
something on a different aspect of
Krishna- that is his sanyas aspect.
These daysʼ artists are opting
for abstract style. Are you also
planning to switch off to abstract
style?
There is no doubt that these days
abstract art is in demand, but I can’t
work on it unless I have a complete
knowledge of it.
Any suggestions for the artists
of your generation?
Artists should not yield to pressure
from galleries and keep pursuing
their work aggressively. If you
surrender to such pressure and sell
your work before it is done, then it
will thwart your creativity and
individuality. Take your own time and
space, and just paint.
What is the aim of your life?
To become a recognised artist
and spread happiness and
awareness through my paintings.
Tell us what role recognition
and awards have on your
career?
Recognition and awards are
surely one of the crucial moments
for any artist. Indeed that’s what I
work for, but I consider as it a
great prize even when the most
humbles person of the world
praises my artwork. We

Q&
Now that the pickle making season
is here, we need clinically clean
bottles and jars to store the same.
But sometimes jars containing pickles
and preserves continue to carry their
odour even after being washed. What
should we do?
This problem, however large it
may seem, has a solution that is
quite simple. Light a matchstick and
while it is still lit, drop it into the jar
and close the lid tightly. Wash with
soap and water after some time.
Please tell me a simple way to clean
up after an ‘oil-spill’ in the kitchen.
A
Every now and then we have to
face this problem. But not to worry,
just sprinkle a little wheat flour on the
surface and rub it with your fingers.
Then wipe with a cloth. You can also
use soda bicarbonate instead of the
wheat flour, but remember to rub it
with a paper or cloth, as it will be
harsh on your hands.
Should we use olive oil in our cooking
as is the trend these days, or do we
have an option?
Olive oil is good for our health, it
has a distinct smell and is available in
different grades. But it is very
expensive and also not suitable for all
kinds of food preparations. The only
oil that can compete with olive oil is
mustard oil. It helps in increasing
good cholesterol in the body and it is
much cheaper than olive oil.
Kitchen
Queries
QQ
We have plenty of lemons in our
garden. Apart from making pickle and
juice, what more can be done with
them?
It can be easily said that ‘a lemon
a day keeps the doctor away’, for
Q
apart from making delicious summer
drinks it is also useful for therapeutic
and beauty purposes. Lemon juice
can be used as an antiseptic, as a
pain reliever, helps to dissolve gall
stones in combination with olive oil,
regular intake of fresh lemons may
also be useful in treating cases of
Q
kidney stones.
Strawberries are a rich food – both
in terms of money and food value –
so we cannot afford to waste them.
Please tell us how we can store them
properly.
Yes, truly, strawberries are a rich
fruit, and such an attractive one that it
is very difficult to resist them. It is
important to store them in the right
way so they keep fresh for a long
time.
Wash the berries and pat dry.
Place in a plastic bag in intervening
layers of fruit and sugar. Fasten the
bag firmly and put it in the freezer
Q
compartment of the refrigerator.
What should we do to have the luxury
of ‘instant white sauce’?
For the instant white sauce, blend
together one cup soft butter and one
cup flour. Spread in an ice cube tray,
chill well, cut into 16 cubes before
storing in a plastic bag in the freezer.
For medium thick sauce, drop one
cube into one cup milk and heat
slowly, stirring all the while as it
thickens.
How can we prevent formation of skin
on sauces and jellies?
Spread a thin layer of melted
butter or cream over jellies, puddings
and other sauces right after cooking.
Stir and all the skin and foam will
disappear.
What is the right time to add salt to
the following: soups and stews,
meats, corn, whole pulses and
vegetables?
Normally we add salt and turmeric
at the beginning of cooking
vegetables or dal etc. but it is good to
keep in mind the time to add salt in
some particular food items. Add the
salt early while preparing soups and
stews. For meats, sprinkle just before
removing from the stove. Cook the
vegetables in salted water. Cook the
corn first, then add salt, pepper and
the lemon juice. Add salt to whole
pulses like kabuli chana and rajma
after boiling. For vegetables which
reduce in volume after cooking, it will
be a good idea to add salt after they
are cooked and prevent oversalting.
– Savita Bhargava.
If you have any
problem in cooking or
kitchen, write to Woman’s Era.
We shall try to help you
sort it out.
Address your queries to:
WOMAN'S ERA,
E-3, Jhandewala Estate,
Rani Jhansi Marg
New Delhi-110 055
Click womansera.com to
lodge your queries.
 WHY SHOUT?
When we shout
To prove our point,
Win an argument
Or intimidate our rival,
It shows we are at fault
For the simple reason
That we had shouted.
Maybe we have
Been wronged
And blamed
For no fault of ours.
Yet when we scream,
Our foe triumphs.
And our credibility crumbles.

Only angry words echo

That throws us into turmoil
Carefully preserved emotions
Become public
To embarrass us later.
Shouting never resolved
A fight or an issue.

Sometimes, we can’t
But help shouting
To release our anger,
Our frustrations.
But then it does
More damage to us
Than to the person intended.

Conquer the situation

By keeping your cool,
By breathing deep
Until our mind is clear.
Speak with authority
And uprightness,
And that will
Make our opponent humble.
– C. Radhika, Secunderabad

132 Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010

 ARE YOU
WATCHING
MORE TV
?
You may not
be as happy as the idiot
box makes you feel.
By M. Nathan
T
he religion section of dailies
in India reported on a dis-
course on the Bhagavad Gita
in the cities. Talking about
the desires that arise in the
mind, the pieces stated how
futile they were. The desires
could either be fulfilled or
not. In the former case, the
consequent ‘happiness’ or
satisfaction would be fleeting. If, on
the other hand, the desire was not
fulfilled, there would be a lot of frus-
tration.
Given this assessment it appears
that the human being is not destined
to be ‘happy’. However, there is
some good news. Happiness is rela-
tive and, yes, some people have
reported being happier than others.
An extensive new research study has
found that unhappy people watch
more TV while those who consider
themselves happy spend more time
reading and socialising!
The University of Maryland
analysed 34 years of data collected
from more than 45,000 participants
and found that watching TV might
make you feel good in the short term
but this feeling is definitely short-
lived. There seems to be a definite
correlation between TV watching
hours and happiness. This also
seems to agree with what the ‘dis-
courses’ talk about.
"The pattern for daily TV use is
particularly dramatic, with 'not happy'
people estimating over 30 per cent
more TV hours per day than 'very
happy' people," the study says.
"Television viewing is a pleasurable
enough activity with no lasting benefit
and it pushes aside time spent in
other activities – ones that might be
less immediately pleasurable, but
that would provide long-term bene-
fits in one's condition. In other words,
TV does cause people to be less
happy."
THE STUDY
The study, published in the
December issue of Social Indicators
Research, analysed data from thou-
sands of people who recorded their
daily activities in diaries over the
course of several decades.
Researchers found that activities
such as sex, reading and socialising
correlated with the highest levels of
overall lasting happiness. Watching
TV, on the other hand, was the only
activity that had a direct correlation
with unhappiness.
Unhappily married couples also
watch more TV. "Happily married
couples read newspapers and maga-
zines on more days," reports the
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
study. "While those not happy with
their marriages watch more TV."
Yet there may be good news here
for broadcasters. Commenting on the
study, co-author John P. Robinson
said the worsening economy could
boost TV viewing.
"Through good and bad economic
times, our diary studies have consis-
tently found that work is the major
activity correlate of higher TV viewing
hours," Robinson says. "As people
have progressively more time on their
hands, viewing hours increase."
The study concludes that, "These
points have parallels with addiction;
since addictive activities produce
momentary pleasure but long-term
misery and regret. People most vul-
nerable to addiction tend to be social-
ly or personally disadvantaged, with
TV becoming an opiate."
In India, retired people with time
on their hands and little or no means
of venting their energies are left with
no alternative but the “tube”. This
does not necessarily make them
unhappy, especially since, for most
couples, this is the only companion-
able time spent.
The verdict then would seem to be
that, as with any other seemingly
pleasurable activity, moderation is
indeed a prescription while striving for
the goal of “living happily after!” We
133
 O T O

✂
4
w CONTEST
Cross 1 2 3
N
4

Tear along the dotted line and mail to Crossword No. 4 Womanʼs Era, Delhi Press, New Delhi-110 055.
5 6

r
O C R
7 8
M

d 11
M
12
S
9

I
N
10

A
13
L
14

15 16 17
R
18 19 20
E O
21 22
E T

N
23 24
E P

Across
1. A stretch of land, especially with
regard to its physical features (7)
5. The nickname for a gold statuette
given as an Academy award (5)
7. Be filled with love or admiration
for (7)
9. A mysterious or puzzling person or
thing (6)
11. Perfect happiness; great joy (5)
13. Lasting or existing forever (7)
14. A person’s sense of self-esteem or
self-importance (3)
15. A framework of spaced bars that
are parallel to or cross each
other (4)
1. Shake involuntarily, typically as a
result of anxiety, excitement, or
frailty (7)
2. A person employed by a touring
band of musicians to set up and
maintain equipment (6)
3. Bring about (a feeling or response)
in someone (6) Please accept my entry for the
4. Chemical symbol for the element crossword competition. I
Calcium (2)
6. Not moving (5)
subscribe to all the rules and
8. A deer with large branching antlers, regulations of the competition.
native to the northern tundra and
subarctic (8)
Name
10. An amount above or below a given
Down

16. The organ of hearing and balance level (6)

12. Loud and harsh (8) Address
in humans and other vertebrates (3)
18. Be extremely and uncritically 15. Reduce to small particles or
fond of (4) powder by crushing (5)
19. Chemical symbol for the element 17. A red powder or cream used as a City Pin
Sodium (2) cosmetic for colouring the cheeks
21. Of very high quality (4) or lips (5)
22. Cut a groove in (a surface) (4) 20. On the top of (4)
23. Discover or investigate (a crime or
its perpetrators) (6)
✂

24. Employee Stock Ownership Plan (4)

134 Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010

 WIN UP TO

Winners of Crossword - 1 Rs10,000 IN CASH PRIZES

elhi. Sita Rani, Roh Gohil, Priya Prabhu

Nisha, New D tak. Kiran Shaileshad. , Karnataka.
Ahmedab
Answers to Crossword-1

Across: 1. Tooth, 3. Moan,

5. Woo, 6. Entity, 8. Ramp,
10. Adolescence, 13. Eel, 15. Love,
16. Area, 17. Slang, 20. BC
22. Movie, 23. Caress

bed,
enage, 2. Hot
Down: 1. Te op e, 7. Troll,
on, 4. N
3. Mor
Gaman Sahn bai. 11. Crown,
Dr Silonie, Ja
landhar. i, Chandigarh. sekhar, Mum 9. Academy, o,
Divya Chandra 14 Eel, 16. Ag
.
12. Seduce, ar , 19 . Cod ,
. Ag
17. Spec, 18
20. Bid, 21. PS

WIN WIN WIN

ON YOUR

Madhu Smita
WO RD
ta, Allahabad. Aggarwal,
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Sahu, Kochi. Krishan Gopal a.
Kolkat
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Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010 135

STORY
SHORT
On Catching the Train
How early should one go to catch one’s plane/train/bus/whatever?
By R. G. Katju
T
he TV ad of Moov displayed these days and
showing a gentleman missing his train by a
solitary minute — his rushing to the platform
whilst the last bogie whizzes past — reminded
me of an essay in our XIIth English course way
back in 1957. The article basically classified
passengers into two categories. The ‘A’ group
believed in reaching the platform — or, for that
matter, the airport or bus stand — at literally the last
moment, without a worry or crease on their
foreheads. The other group ‘B’ type — yours truly
belongs to this group — starts fretting about their
intended journey performing mental gymnastics from
many hours earlier thereby reaching the take-off point
any time from half an hour to two hours before.
Three decades ago my boss and I were in
Shillong. He had to catch the flight from Guwahati to
Kolkata at 3 p.m. and the car journey from Shillong
to Guwahati airport never took less than 21/2 hours.
And check-in time was one hour before take-off.
So, when at 11.30 a.m. after concluding a group
meeting, he nonchalantly murmured, “Khaana kab
milega?” I was shocked. I looked pointedly at the
watch and the indicator sank in immediately. “Don’t
worry, Katju, there is enough time,” he told me.
Management pandits strongly emphasise two key
principles for a successful career — viz:
1. The boss is always right.
2. If he is wrong, follow point 1.
Remembering this I kept quiet — but kept on
fretting. Half an hour later, he rose from the lunch
table and said, “Call the car, Katju.” My shirt wet
with perspiration, I rushed to do the needful as if I
were the passenger.
 Bidding him a safe and comfortable
journey, I gave him less than 50 per cent
chance of catching the flight. However, his
bravado seemed justified as friends told
me that he reached the airport in time — in
fact, was one of the last 3-4 passengers
who checked in before the window’s
closure. I mentally took my hat off.
Another lady — also belonging to the
‘A’ category — the MD of a Ratlam
company, had the habit of informing the
stationmaster in advance of her catching
the Mumbai Express and asking him to
delay its departure in case she arrived late.
This she habitually did to the chagrin and
irritation of the SM.
Dwelling on the subject of catching and missing
trains, yours truly with a close friend was touring the
deep south of India about three decades ago.
We spent a proved futile and, as the whistle sounded, I
miserable ran for the train. To my horror I found it
moving in the opposite direction and my
night on the
friend Ramesh trying his best to wriggle out
platform
of it with our luggage. I was shocked but
telling jokes, nevertheless helped him out.
singing film Ever a man known for his cool he was
songs and red in the face shouting obscenities.
smiting our “You... you, searching for worthless locks.
limbs and Our train is the next one and it’s moving
faces to ward away. You loaded me on the wrong train
off the hordes and then went treasure hunting...”
of mosquitoes Sheepishly, I admitted my mistake and
which had calmed him down.
smelled blood. To compound our misery the
stationmaster informed us that there were
no trains till next morning and we would have to
fend for ourselves during the night — the station
boasted of no waiting room.
We spent a miserable night on the platform telling

D
eciding to visit Rameswaram we arrived by jokes, singing film songs and smiting our limbs and
bus at Mandapam station next to faces to ward off the hordes of mosquitoes which
Rameswaram. The bus stopped at the station had smelled blood.
gate and the train was standing about 20 metres To conclude, recently I had to catch the 12.15
away. I asked Ramesh to buy the tickets and check p.m. train to Secunderabad. Giving due
its departure time while I started getting our luggage consideration to traffic jams on roads and the
unloaded from the bus top. In the above act my trunk platform, vehicle punctures and accidents and other
collided with the bus body and the number lock flew unknown delaying factors, I left home to reach the
out. station at 11.35. I found that the train had been
As the departure was 10 minutes away, I decided delayed by half an hour. What to do? Having a pen
to look for the lock — it had sentimental value, and some loose paper handy why not pen something
though it cost only Rs 3 six years ago. The search about catching trains? Result — this article. We

The World’s First Blue Heaven

PPD – Free Hair
Colour in India
AMA Herbal has launched
Vegetal Bio Colour – the first PPD
free, Ammonia free hair colour.
Vegetal has been widely accepted
in the US and UAE and is now
available in India.
Even though most hair-colouring
products are Ammonia free, PPD is the main allergen
that causes burning sensation while using the colour.
Vegetal is free from PPD and Ammonia. It is
completely safe to use, and there is no fear of any skin
and scalp allergies. It is the only hair colour which is
recommended by dermatologists.
Be sure, be beautiful with Vegetal.
Launches
Xpression Range
of Nail Paint
Blue Heaven Cosmetics
launched Xpression range of
Nail Paint in the market.
Xpression range is available in unlimited shades.
Company has presented Xpression range of Nail
Paints keeping in mind the requirement of females'
beauty and fashion. The quality of this product is such
that shine is long-lasting and there are no cracks. There
are a number of shades to match your nails as per your
requirement or fashion trend.
The company is making available 9 ml. pack of
Xpression range of Nail Paints for Rs 49/- (M.R.P.) in
the market nationwide.

Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010 137


Q&
Though studying in college, I want to
start saving money, right now. Can a
Public Provident Fund (PPF) account
be opened by me?
You would be thrilled to know that
a PPF account can be opened easily.
It does not matter whether you are in
college still. However, a bank
account is necessary.
I have been asked to write a book
and hope to get a fair sum as royalty.
How much tax would have to be paid
on royalty?
Well, if you get Rs three lakhs as
royalty, there’s still no need to pay
income tax. But, if sum is more, tax
A
would be charged.
Can bank ask me to open a fixed
deposit if I want a locker?
The bank can't insist that a locker
would be given only if a fixed deposit
is opened. But, some banks may say
that a fixed deposit, equivalent to
three year’s locker rent, has to be
opened.
To my horror, I found mistakes in my
new house deed. These relate to
spellings, area and dimensions of the
flat. I am afraid the errors might
cause problems. Do suggest a way
out.
There’s no cause for alarm, at all.
You must, at once get a rectification
deed prepared. Nominal charges
would have to be paid. For example,
138
MONEY MATTERS
for spelling mistakes, stamp duty
amounting to Rs 100 and registration
fees of Rs 100 would again have to
be rendered.
Are car loans, for women available
at concessional rates? I am thinking
of buying a new vehicle, after tapping
a bank.
Yes, there are some banks
offering car loans at reduced rates
for women. They charge 25 basis
points less, compared to general
loans. For example, banks would
reduce interest rate from 9.25 per
cent to 9 per cent, while extending
loan.
Processing fees is waived off,
also. Prompt payment of car loan
instalments is rewarded by slashing
interest rate further. The bank may
charge 50 basis points less. That is,
interest rate is cut from 9.25 per cent
to 8.75 per cent, for women.
Do I have to write a new cheque, if
mistake is committed in earlier one?
Just a few days ago, the bank
refused to accept a cheque, though I
had crossed out error and signed,
next to the spot.
Yes, the new banking rules say
that if there's a mistake, one can’t
cancel the error, as before and put a
verification signature. When spelling
is wrong, amount is incorrect or name
is incorrect, a new cheque has to be
written.
I suspect that adulterated petrol is
being sold to me, at bunk. Can it be
found whether the petrol is spurious?
A petrol pump has to keep stock
of filter paper, at all times. Ask for
one filter paper, put a little petrol on it
and watch. If petrol evaporates at
once, the vendor is selling quality
material. But, when petrol lingers,
does not evaporate quickly and
leaves a blot, you would know that
it’s fake stuff, at once.
Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010
A group of three women, we are
promoting folk art, in our region. I
received money for folk art fund,
sometime back. Would the amount
be taxed?
No. You would be glad to know
that folk art fund is not at all taxed.
I have got kundan jewellery, in my
ornament box. An elderly relative had
given it to me. What is this jewellery
and how should the shine come back
to the pieces?
Kundan jewellery are medieval
type ornaments, where gold foil is
inserted between stones and also
near mount. You can use suede cloth
to make the kundan collection
sparkle.
Recently, I let out two rooms in my
house, for rent. I am employed in an
office. Which income tax form should
be filled, by me?
When rental income is derived,
you have to submit form ITR – 2, for
income tax.
At a wedding in my family, I have to
buy clothes for relatives, both on
bride and groom’s side. How much
discount would a wholesale outlet
give?
You should try to get 40 per cent
discount, and nothing less. A
wholesale cloth shop or mill
showroom may give the rebate
because of bulk buying.
E-mail your queries to:
money@womansera.com
Meenakshi Subramaniam
is a former IRS officer, answering all
your money queries, right from income
tax to supermarket shopping.
Mail your queries to:
WOMAN'S ERA,
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New Delhi-110055.
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 timely and relevant, for there has EDITORIA
L
diabetes
and cancer.
powders
A doctor
informed
that these
that
ashrams
of allopathic
CENSUS: LET IT BE
AN OBJECTIVE
including ayurvedic
the so-called contain overdosesgiven for the
ATIVE dispense powder
SOUND ALTERNrevival of Ayurveda. dionil, a cheap
and babas

been a marked deterioration in moral

example,
ns. For
NOT SO has seen
a . So formulatio diabetes contain powdered
of is

T
past nowadays treatment same disease. and babas
he recent are a craze sweeping the drug for the , ashrams should be
Herbal medicines remedies are allopathic such companies
in the foreign Action of and hence is to
called traditional but also have to g fake drugs purpose
akin to propagatin Their sole are
only in India Ayurvedic drugs such by
the law. ones.They
market not and countries, treated as the needy but are also
While herbal tests in the western not serving
countries. alternative money and the image of Ayurveda,
quality name of of make
undergo stringent sells in well as mockery not only tarnishing of the people.

EXERCISE
in India
everything violation as gullible with the lives 2011
This is sheer lives of poor risk on playing CENSUS
medicines. putting the at it
hand and treatment exercise

standards all over the country with a

law on one cannot afford costly a mammoth ,
begun. Being manpower. Everytime

C
people, who the Delhi ensus has number of the
in a study power from
the other. of it was
seen when, and Research needs a large nt draws this man Perhaps,
A glimpse utical Sciences drugs in the governmethe government schools. are well-
of Pharmacepresence of allopathic or
Institute especially that the teachers g
found the sold as Ayurvedic schools, nt believes are used
to maintainin
(DIPSAR) ns commonly n. the governmethis job, as they most is the
many formulatio for erectile dysfunctio available in the do what suffers
ns easily trained to this exercise
Unani medicines found But in all to one
herbal preparatio five were registers. six months work
Of the 16 DIPSAR, of viagra takes around
tested by generic name herbal school
education.
teaching
market and citrate – the so-called The entire
exercise this period from
Sidenafil . During remain absent

permissive culture slowly but surely

this. These s.
containing Not only of these compound year for completion as the teachershave to resort to self-
– and Tadalfie. overdose mg of the drain, , who in
ns contained c had 119 goes down meanwhile teachers,
Supersoni 25-100 Students,
preparatio
drugs called will have
only the schools. the available large number of
One of the tablet. Even Viagra is a prescriptio
n depend upon with the
in a study or to cope up census being
Sidenafil is more viagra counters it difficult that, despite find an
tablet. What s are sold over the can be turn, find surprising thing is is made to
mg of it per formulation Sidenafil pupils. The no attempt every census.
these that sed exercise, in
drug but caution
pattern is
followed
drugs. Doctors taking nitrate-baeven a long-drawn . The old some teachers,
as herbal already on and alternative s made by the path.
fatal for
someone cause hypertensi suggestion work, may show this
. It can also In this regard in census educated youth for
of so-
medicines a number who are engaged unemployed y to meet
and

seeping in. Young girls are today This is in response

available
coma. there are that are claimed Why not
employ
give them
an opportunit
In the market and Unani medicines . Their names This will of people. sure
e- task? various kinds It makes
called Ayurvedic treatment for impotency ‘K2’, ‘Sikander- of interact with an all- India level
exercise. counting.
to be sure-shotcurious like ‘Titanic’,Power Extra. All left from
Census is person is exercise
all
are also
very and Musli even a single of India makes the
Much Gold’, or Tidafil. that not that despite
Azam’, 2 Sidenafil to have ical diversity is also surprising
system was
found containing has been
reported Geograph It neither a
them were Tidafil too and it cannot the more
difficult.
censuses, was created.
Like Sidenafil,backache and headachec doses range so many database
like carrying out a comprehensive tion
side effects the counter. Its therapeuti contains 32 unique indentifica
Power Extra evolved nor are talks about
be sold over But Musli there citizen. be clubbed
mg/tablet. the Now, de for every UID code could

more vulnerable than ever and the to your editorial

from 5-20 to ‘improve’ the number/co Otherwise
,
tablet. done of issuing results.
mg per y this is
all
win the trust these Census and and quicker be taken, requiring
Apparentl drugs and who take for better to age
’ of these hand, people not reveal what
together task will have . In the modern
‘efficiency
On the other do another mammoth of manpower collection, census
consumer. secretly and normally of course, some equally large number a swift data . It
so to entire population
drugs do until, it is too late networking
of electronic opportunity to digitise
consumed however, so that students
they have develops. By then d drugs. provides
an smart system census is
n adulterate way for some in future whenever
complicatio by these the market, m We
damage done drugs available in may pave mansera.co
do not suffer

Census 2011 (May II).

undo the whose
and ‘Babas’ They and studies letters@wo
the herbal n.
Besides of ‘ashrams’
a number appear regularly. undertake
there are

predators are no longer criminals

ents and
pamphlets serious ailments
advertisem some very
claim to cure even (Second) 2010
also Era ● May
Woman’s

who lurk in every society but their It clearly reveals the fact that
classmates as well. census is a great demographic
Date rapes, once unheard of, endeavour that must not be confused
have become common place today with social science field work. India is
and there are more and more girls home to awe-inspiring number of
A BLESSING FOR ready to shed their inhibitions and sub-castes with nomenclature
RIGHT CH
RIGHT
OICE FOR
MODERN WOMEN willing to play along with their variations across regions. Religion
CAREER ellising today’
s

Apropos the article

The hard option
freedoms.
s for chann
By Kasturi
Rangachari

classmates, unmindful of the dangers and caste have done no good for our
I
All that
in our country. status
to do for aeons accepted the
middle- women and they
f you are you time, they adjusted they had

Right Choice for Right

aged today, world quo;
the d mainly because world
have seen d acquiesce . But today’sin fact, it
being transforme alternative –

of unwanted pregnan cies, sexually country but only divided the people.
from no them the
opportunity
as you moved to gives them – to
take decisions
childhood even forces
and then choices. get to
adulthood and make the choices they
age. The Some of feeling
into middle a glorious
were born make give women they are made
world you exists. and so of relief.
into no longer in the of freedom and with a sense of
see that joyfully free the most important
You can
and the people For many, women

Career by Kasturi
way you eat, work. Today’s
dress, relate to work or
around you in these only choose to either
entertain, can not choose from

transmitted diseases and even Our country developed a kind of

live and in what can also
but they range of
career
today’s morals,and what not, as wide a
people accept practically men can.
– in other options as most hell bent
on
they reject mine was
today’s lifestyle. A niece of were
Her parents then
words, in century is joining the Army.
The 21st they
old, but taken aback, but the
just a decade century initially her through
21st supported and
the sportingly of selection
for Indian arduous process an Army captain
lifestyle be she is Her
women
can
in training. Now Kashmir Valley.
up as one
posted to
the spend a

Rangachari (June II,

went to

murders. As the author of the article political culture where caste and
summed
have options parents recently they came
back
which we to make with her and e of the
work
and are able makes month
This The importanc respect she
choices. very dazed. doing and the
it something she was come home
because it, had only
new for doing
aking got
choice-m to them there!re we went, jawans
was something “Everywhe we were
never – and us because
women saluted her
chance
had the

2010), women earlier says it is expedient that girls have to religion cast their shadows on
were taking up job just as bread- be protected from their male anything we do. It is nice that for the
winner or to support their family. In classmates. But the first line of first time since independence the
the present days the concept of defence should the girls themselves census will record caste-based
working woman has changed. They and it is they who should take all census which would be in a
take up lucrative jobs to maintain precautions and keep the wolves at transparent and effective way so as
their status. Earlier women were bay. As it so often happens the girls to capture valuable socio-economic
confined to kitchen and bringing up decide to keep everything to information of our billions and we
children. With globalisation, themselves and rarely confide to their would be able to put to use such
technology has opened numerous parents leading to situations going databases in driving our
avenues for women. Call centres out of hand when it becomes too late developmental priorities and policies.
have proved a blessing for women to salvage their reputation or honour In order to measure our current
with minimum qualification. The odd or even their chastity. reservation system’s success, this
timings do not seem to bother them. – Vijayalakshmi A., Bangalore. data is of immense importance.
The parents of working women, who Otherwise, the current method will
are on the threshold of old age are result in progress of a specific group,
burdened with the additional THE DOWRY MENACE leaving other groups deprived of
responsibility of bringing up their This refers to the article Different chance to progress.
grandchildren. The best option for dimensions of dowry menace. I fully – Vinod C. Dixit, Ahmedabad.
ladies would be to burn their own agree with the writer that the parent The prize is awarded to:
boats by staying up at home. Girl are should have a thorough enquiry of Vinod C. Dixit, Ahmedabad.
not willing to commit to marriage and the groom before getting their
they prefer live-in relationships. In daughters married. A thorough probe WOMAN'S ERA
young and vulnerable age they seek into the character and reputation of invites readers’
sexual satisfaction. The parents of the groom and his family will save opinions and
such young girls are in the lurch. So them from falling into the trap of reactions on
articles, short stories
to change the scenario the best thing greedy dowry seekers.
and features published
would be for schools to focus on Giving and taking dowry has in Woman’s Era. The best
moral, ethics and education based on become an organised social evil, letter will be given a prize of
cultural values which will bring people spend lavishly willingly or Rs 500. Address your letters by
nobility in the child. under pressure on the engagement E-mail to: letters@womansera.com
– S. Boomija, Bangalore. and marriage of their daughters as or by post to:
they believe that giving cash and AS YOU SAY
PROTECTIN
G
expensive gifts will make their
YOUNG GIRLSLE
FROM MA A PERMISSIVE daughter’s in-laws happy and their E-3 Jhandewala Estate,
CLASSMATES By M
for parents
A must-readShamsur Rabb Khan
of

SOCIETY daughter will remain always happy

New Delhi-110055.
B
growing girls. I explain
how danger
-
-
efore
intimacy develo
ous a close

Womansera.com
environment
ped in school and girls of
boys
between I offer
could be,
tender age the scores of
of
two, out

The article Prote -

whether reported
examples, d, recent
or unreporte enough
that are

after her marriage. Why buy sorrow

incidents to
and guardians
for parents about their
careful
be extra
. from Baghpat
daughters
incident is girl
The first a Class IX
UP, where by
district of raped at
gunpoint
was allegedlyclassmates. According
three of
her rs, the 16-

cting Young Girls from Name:

in newspape on 26
to reports abducted
victim was of her
year-old three boys

and torture for the daughter by giving

2010 by place.
February secluded
raped at a three boys
class and
reads: "The the same
The report studied in town.
and the victim in Baraut to
in a school way
class on her
girl was
When the boys abducted
school, the
home from
her." old.
and raped is a year

their Male Classmates

incident of

Mobile:
The second 2009, a student
r by
In Septembe reportedly raped

dowry to the demanding in-laws?

Class VIII
was s at the
her classmate
two of for Boys ground
nt College occurred
Governme The incident back
in Ludhiana. girl was coming
poor in the
when the nt school
her governme taking her
from after
of the city girl on
Civil Lines two boys met the
exams. The took her to an isolated

– Harinder Kaur, Jalandhar.

raped
the way and

E-mail:
ground where they
area of the

(June I, 2010) was

146 Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2010