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When no ones looking

Alone in this huge house. All I can hear is the echo of my footsteps, every breath that I take, trying to fill
the empty spaces. When was the last time I spent time alone?

Who am I when no one is around?

The deafening noise of this world clouded the heights of every possible peak that I could have taken,
relationships that has moved the depths of my core, and every soul that I could have saved. How on
earth have I gotten this bad?

Every reason becomes a brick that adds up to the wall that I have built around me. Reinforced by every
pride and defences that I create to protect myself from social pain. Tonight, I can see nothing but strong,
tall fortresses around me. Nay, no one can destroy. Nay, no one can enter.

I regret every story that I have written, every lie that I have created. I can see nothing but these
fortresses around me. Fortresses that I have built thinking that I can be invincible. I thought I am
stronger now. I thought I am better now. I thought I am healed.

The mirror reflects a familiar face, but I cannot recognize her anymore. I am sorry for what I have
become. I am sorry for hurting people around me. I am sorry about every hurt that I caused him.

I am trying to forget, I said. I am tired of trying to win every argument. Now I do not honestly know
how to start. Where to start. What to do.

The dark, bottomless pit consumes me. I am very weak now. There is no one to blame but me. I caused
destruction to everyone else to myself.

Who am I when no one else is looking? I am a master pretender,