Funny sayings unintentionally comical

Some of our funny sayings came from the late honorable Louise Bennett Coballey formally
called "Miss Lou."

Like "howdy and tenki" which means how do you do and thank you. There is even a folk
song for the kids to go with this one, the chorus goes like this:

"Howdy, how yu do. Tenki, thank yu. Beg yu pardon excuse me. Practice up yu
courtesy."

Other folk songs from Miss Lou that are generally sang by children are:

This Long Time Gal Mi Neva Si Yu.

Carry Mi Ackee Go a Linstead Market.

Mango Time.

Miss Lou also coined the phrase "walk good" as a way saying "goodbye."

Other funny sayings in Jamaican patois

"Yu spread yu bed hard yu afe lie down in it"

You make bad decisions therefore you have to live with the consequences.

"Yu a follow dog fi manners."

Its like what we would called a yes-man in North America

<"No problem man."

Everything is OK

"Cool no man."

Can mean that you are in agreement with the person or that you should take it easy.

"Yu caan tun duck off a nest."

Your life is not going anywhere, youre just stagnant.

"Anywey it maga it pap off."

This one usually goes well with budgeting. If you're spending a lot of money during hard
times, and not earning more to replace it, one day you'll eventually run out.

Hang out with the kids and use their 'lingo.'

You can count on Jamaican kids to constantly coming up with new, funny sayings. Dont feel
bad if you can't keep up with the newest ones, here are some for you.

"Mi no ina de lay lay ting."

I dont want to waste time.

"Irie"

Everything is good. You feeling good.

"Noting nah gwan."

Nothing is going on.

"Sell off."

Let me use this in a sentence. I went to my friend's birthday party. Man! It "sell off!"
That means that the party was super good.

"No sey noting."

Im in total agreement with you.

"Tek weh yu self."

Leave the place, maybe the environment is not a good one.

"Anyting a anyting."

Its like an I dont care attitude.

"Big man or Big woman." Does not mean the person is fat, there are two meaning to
this one.

(1)An older man or woman

(2)A person of a high caliber a very important person.

Do you listen to reggae music? Yes, well you may also hear some of these very comical
saying.

So the next time you're walking down the street in Jamaica and someone says, Yow! "Big
Man," or Big Woman," it could mean you are older then the 10 year old who is saying it.

Or the kid is just showing some respect with one of their funny sayings.

How to Talk Like a Rasta

Guyana is a land of diverse people Indians, Africans, Portuguese, Chinese all brought to the Continent
by colonial rulers. Needing a way to communicate, the slaves combined their language with the language
of the rulers to form an entirely new language called Creolese. Creolese though oringally Dutch based
shifted to an English based language (once the English threw the Dutch out) and is infused with words
and phrases from various other languages.
 A few simple steps will help you convert your English to a more swaggerlicious (stylish) Creolese. Add to
this some dreadlocks and youll be ready for the Caribbean.
Pronouns
Dont bother yourself with singular or plurals. Theyre all interchangeable. Memorize the word that
appeals to you the most in each category and stick with it.
I, Me ah, me, mi, we, awi
You, your yuh, ayu, allyuh
They, she, he e, he, she, im, de, dem, aledem
Grammatical rules (in order of increasing difficulty)
Rule 1
End words with in instead of ing.
Cookin. Talkin. Walkin. Childs play.
Rule 2
Replace th with d. Drop the th if this rule is too complicated.
The becomes de or just e. Whatever makes you happy.
Rule 3
Insert ah at the beginning of your sentence to buy you time to think.
Ah wah dah whats that?
Ah whey yuh bin whereve you been?
Rule 4
Repeat adjectives for emphasis.
Dis wata de cold cold This water is very cold.
Rule 5
Replace er with a.
Butter would become butta. You mightve realized I said wata in my last rule. Tricky.
Rule 6
Drop hs at your own discretion.
Maths would become mats and him would be im. Ill make no false claims and admit that Im still in the
process of internalizing this rule.
Rule 7
If youve gotten this far, the world is your playground. Improvise at will.
I told him can be
I tol him
I told im
I tell im
Ah tell e
I tell e
Me tell em
And so on and so forth.
Once youve mastered these simple rules, its time to take it to the next level.
Phrases

Phrase Translation

Nah skin yer teet bai! Dont laugh boy!

Wappening Whats happening

Dem ah watch me (this is Guyanas They (neighbors) watch every move of mine and judge me. Mainly
unofficial National Anthem) because theres rubbish on TV.

Jus-now Eventually

Meh de pon de fone Im on the phone

Just when you begin to understand what people are saying, they throw a proverb at you. Andyoure
back to hitting your head against an easily accessible hard object.
Proverbs
Everyday buckit a go a well, wan day he battam drap out.
Translates to everyday the bucket goes to the well, one day the bottom drops out.
Means Repeated practices (good or bad) will have consequences (good or bad). Did you know that this
phrase pops up in Bob Marleys version of I shot the sheriff? Go listen.
Ugly pickney nah gat daddie.
Tranlates to an ugly child does not have a father.
Means If something goes wrong, most people will say it wasnt me. In case youre wondering, this
phase is not related to whos your daddie.
Orange yellow but yuh nah know if it sweet.
Translates to A orange the is yellow isnt necessarily sweet.
Means dont judge everything by appearances.
Guyanese proverbs are guaranteed to help you kill some time at the office.

As with all languages, if you want to sound like Captain Jack Sparrow (substitute your favorite Rasta-
mans name here) theres only one way practice, practice, practice!!
How to Speak Jamaican Patois
Although the official language of Jamaica is Standard English, many Jamaicans also speak Patois which is a
separate dialect/language. Jamaican Patois (also known as Patwa, Patwah or Jamaican Creole) is the language
that is used by most Jamaicans in casual everyday conversations while Standard English is normally reserved for
professional environments.

"Jamaican Patois is a separate language from Jamaican English."

Jamaican Patois is a strange language in that it has many borrowed words from many different languages, for
example, English, Spanish and some West African languages. However, the pronunciations of these words are very
similar to Jamaican English. One thing to keep in mind as you learn Jamaican Patois is that it is not a strict, rule-
oriented language where there is a "right way" and a "wrong way" to say things. Some words can be pronounced and
spelled differently but still mean the same thing (e.g. both Pickney and Pickeney translates to Child'). The
important thing is whether or not what you are saying can be understood.

It's actually quite difficult to acquire the accent of a Jamaican, unless you've lived in Jamaica for many
years, and even then, speaking patois fluently is not guaranteed. But with a little practice, you will be able
to have at least a basic understanding of Jamaican Patois.

Let us now take a look at some of the grammatical features of Jamaican Patois.
1. SUBJECT-VERB AGREEMENT

Sentences in Jamaican Patois are built like English sentences in that, there is a subject, a predicate (or verb), and an
object. However, there is no subject-verb agreement in Jamaican Patois. The verb does not change with the subject.
Let us look at the table below.

Jamaican Creole Standard English

Mi run I run

im run he runs

shi run she runs

Wi run We run

Dem run They run

Unu run You all run

eyah run it runs

Yu run You run

2. Formation of Plurals

One common method of forming plurals in standard English is by adding 's' or; 'es' to the end of a word. (e.g. toy-
toys, class- classes etc..)

However, in Jamaican Patois a word can be pluralized by adding 'dem' to the end word or, inserting 'nuff' or a
number at the beginning of the word.

Jamaican Creole Standard English

Plate dem Plates

Baby dem Babies

Pen dem Pens

Teacha dem Teachers

Book dem Books

 Jamaican Creole Standard English

Nuff banana Many bananas

Ten bwoy Ten boys

NOTE: In Jamaican Patois, the letters '-s' or '-es' do not necessarily denote plurality as is shown in the examples
below:

Jamaican Creole Standard English

Waan shoes A shoe

Waan drinks A drink

3. USE OF PRONOUNS

In Jamaican Patois:

There is no differentiation in the use of pronouns to show gender. The pronoun 'im' can mean both or either
'he' or 'she'.

There is no distinction between subject and object.

Jamaican Creole Standard English

Female - im frack look gud Her frock (dress) looks good

Male - im fada gaan His father is gone

Subject - mi a guh I am going

Object - come fi mi Come for me

Denoting a 'person' in Jamaican Patois differs from Standard English in the following ways:

Jamaican Creole Standard English

 Jamaican Creole Standard English

Person Speaking (first person) Mi or 'wi 'I' or 'we'

Person being spoken to (second person) 'yu' or'unu' 'you' or 'you all'

Person being spoken about (third person) im or dem he /she or them

There are no possessive pronouns in the Jamaican Patois such as your, her, his, its, ours and theirs, for example:

Jamaican Creole Standard English

Fi mi backle My bottle

Fi yu backle Your bottle

Fi dem backle Their bottle

4. USE OF THE COPULA

The copula is a connecting word; for example, in Jamaican Patois the copula is the letter 'a' which is used for the
particle as well as for the continuous tense.

For example:

Jamaican Creole Standard English

Im a run He is running

Im a guh fi it He is going for it

Mi a teacha I am a teacher

5. USE OF REPETITION/REDUPLICATION

In Jamaican Patois:

Repetition is used for degrees of comparison as well as emphasis; for example, using Jamaican Patois to talk about
how big a child has become:
 Jamaican Creole Standard English

Di bwoy big, eeh! The boy has grown

Fi real, im big-big! For real, he is very big

A true! Him get big-big It is true, he has gotten big

Repetition is also used for emphasis or to increase intensity or number; for example:

Jamaican Creole Literal Translation Standard English

A tru tru Its true true It is very true

Yuh mus cum tideh-tideh You must come today today It is important that you come today

Some words form by reduplication show character traits, for example:

Jamaican Creole Standard English

nyami-nyami greedy

Chakka-chakka Untidy

fenkeh-fenkeh Weak, poor

6. USE OF DOUBLE NEGATIVES

In Standard English it is never acceptable to use double negatives such as 'nobody does not'. However, in Jamaican
Patois double negatives are accepted.

Jamaican Creole Literal Translation Standard English

Mi nuh have nun I dont have none I don't have any

Shi don't have nothing She doesnt have nothing She doesn't have anything

Dem don't live dere nuh more They dont live there no more They don't live there any more
 Jamaican Creole Literal Translation Standard English

Mi nah guh.nuh weh I am not going no where I am not going anywhere

Nobady neva seem Nobody never saw him Nobody saw him

Nobady nuh live ova deh Nobody doesnt lives over there Nobody lives over there

7. COMPOUND WORDS

Compound words are commonly used in Jamaican Creole; for example:

Jamaican Creole Literal Translation Standard English

Han miggle Hand middle The palm (of your hand)

Hiez-ole Ear hole The ear or the auditory passage

Bwoy Pickney Boy Child A Young boy

Foot battam Foot bottom The sole (of your foot)

Nose-ole Nose hole Nostril

Yeye-Wata Eye Water Tears

Yeye-ball Eye ball Eye

8. Tense

Unlike Standard English, in the Jamaican Creole, the verb does not change. Instead a new word is introduced and
placed in front of the verb; for example:
Present Tense:

Jamaican Creole Standard English

Mi guh I am going

Di ooman a guh a town The woman is going to town

Im a cum He is coming

Mi a cum I am coming

Past Tense:

Jamaican Creole Standard English

Mi did guh I went

Di ooman did guh a town The woman went to town

Im did cum He came

Mi did cum I came

In Jamaican Creole, past tense is formed by using one of the following three words: 'en', 'ben' and 'did', whereas in
Standard English the verb is changed or "e" or "ed" is added ; for example, collect-collected, run-ran, buy-bought,
etc

By now you probably have a basic understanding on the differences between Jamaican Patois and
Standard English, for a more detailed guide, you can check out our how to speak Jamaican Patois series.