The Phantom, And The Voice on the Phone

John feels uneasy, maybe even sick to his stomach. John wondered if this was
one of his dramatic premonitions again, of something strange that was about to
happen. He hoped it was a premonition of the social variety. After all, it WAS a
vision in Johns head, of him crossing paths with someone of the mysterious
variety. But he didnt know what kind of person exactly. All he knew was that
he saw a vision in his mind, with little emotional attachment to it, that displayed
himself meeting someone outdoors, maybe in a city, maybe in a store. He just
wasnt sure. But these premonitions John often had also often came with an
intense feeling in his stomach. Almost like a feeling of being overpowered by
queasiness.

The phone rang. One ring. Two rings. Three rings. Jonathan wasnt sure
whether or not to pick up. Could be just another telemarketer or pyramid
scheme, much like some of the things Jonathan had seen in his inbox.

The Phantom
People. Ever thought about them?
Jonathan
Of course I have.
Phantom
But HOW MUCH do you think about them?
Jonathan
Actually. The majority of the time, I make an effort not to think about them at
all. All most of them ever do is annoy me, pester me, and bring me trouble.
Phantom
Well, have you ever contemplated society in amore optimistic way? For
instance, try thinking of it this way: People around the world, as expected, are
becoming more advanced, despite the stagnation of human nature, due to the
evolution of the society that is progressing all around us. The world is certainly
not as bad as it is portrayed to be in the modern media. The reason that
contemporary society is portrayed so negatively in modern media is because
negativity and a cynical worldview is often what sells for the majority of
society. Its easy to watch contemporary stories and storytelling, and assume
society is worse off than it really is. Its also easy to be overwhelmed by your
emotive nature, by your own negativity, fears, paranoia, and suffering, then
automatically assume no one out there shares your troubles, or that theres no
one out there you can relate to. Therefore, one would have to suppose thats one
of the powers modern media holds over people: The power to control individual
 perception, especially at a young age.
However, we must always maintain some type of hope, whether its through
faith and spirituality, or merely just happiness from an optimistic secular
worldview. Hope in the modern era is no longer an option. It is a necessity to
keep one from losing his or her mind. Without hope, we become weak in spirit.
Without hope, one cannot learn to live or be alive. It would also be wise to
maintain our sense of humor, otherwise we become cynical, unpleasant to be
around, and boring. And yes, there is a difference between dramatic stories and
humorlessness. Despair has always and will always be the literal antonym of
hope. We always must learn to live in the here and nowdifficult as it may be
to doas well as live for the hope that tomorrow will being edifying
improvement to our daily lives in some way, shape, and/or form. Death and
suffering are not as big and overpowering as they may seem at first glance. And
chances are thats never a bad thing. Is that way of looking at Society too hard
of a pill for you to swallow?
Jonathan
Not really. I understand you, I guess.
Phantom
The present is what it is. Now is now. Then was then. The past cannot be
changed, regardless of how much we want it to. The past can never be changed,
regardless of how much we want it to. Dealing with the past and learning to
accept the present (or perhaps vice versa of the former and latter would be
appropriate) is all part of the chain of life, or The Chain of the Human Races
Sentient Existence. Im not sure if the distant past haunts animals and insects
like it does humans (thats a matter of analyzing the enigma and matrix of
perception. But animals do seem to have memories just like humans, albeit with
less perception. Perhaps existencedue to lack of media saturationwas less
confusing 100, 200, or 1,000 years ago because perhaps there were not as many
complex issues being distributed perceptuallythrough society, the news, and
the general mediabut that that may be doubtful. Like some people have said,
the fact that people have pets is primarily because of a humans disconnection
with nature and their paradoxical desire to reconnect with the universally
profound beauty of unrestrained and unclouded nature. I say its paradoxical
in the fact that on the surface, one would wonder why man would even have an
urge to get closer to nature, when he has technology, intellectual power, and
evolutionary progression at his disposal, with two of the aforementioned
specifically human creations practically at his fingertips, and the latter element
getting him to the plateau hes currently at today. But man needs nature like he
needs shelter, food, water, and compassion, or even God perhaps (but the latter
is doubtful nowadays, in a world populated with skeptics). Nature is mankinds
original parent, hence the term mother nature. But mankind is just a single
member of the family of sentient beings all having a family reunion found with
within the house that is the totality of the cosmos.
The Voice on the phone
 I think Id like to analyze just what makes someone here in the U.S. different
from a person in another country overseas and across the world, and what
makes them the same? That would involve carefully crafted observations, but
there are some basic components. The two people both breath oxygen. They
both will eventually die. They were both born at one point. They both eat food
and drink liquids. They both desire to be happy and both invariably suffer at
certain points. I think they both would want to survive and feel comfort. So the
physiological components are all there, regardless of skin tone. However, they
both may have different views of each other and the world. They may be into
different cultural foods, may both live different lifestyles. Perhaps both have
different incomes. Both have grown up in different societies. They may both
even have different types of accent and speak different languages, and practice
different religions, and hold different cultural values. Chances are they both will
probably never meet one another, or get to talk to one another, unless its over
the Internet, or by long distance phone or email. However, I think that if the
opportunity arises where they both got to meet each other, talk to one another,
and exchange knowledge, ideology, philosophy, and observations, I believe both
sides would inevitably and intrinsically benefit from the experience. Who
knows? They may even enjoy one anothers company. If you hold two people
from different countries next to each other, then strip away the language
barriers, skin color barriers, and cultural distinctions, youll obviously find that
theyre basic psychological and human qualities remain practically identical,
give or take certain psychological characteristics.
Phantom
There are stages of consciousness which you never remember when they
happen. They are the waking stage and the falling asleep stage. The falling
asleep stage may or may not resemble the process of death, and the waking
stage may represent the process of birth and rebirth. Also there is personal
thought, and then there is transpersonal thought. The epitome of personal
thought, or perhaps even solipsism would be (in my opinion) a newborn child.
The epitome of processing transpersonal thought would be one of the great
eastern or western sages of history. The enlightened ones who either discovered
or embodied the term one with all things, who were able to see the suffering
and joy and transcendence of everyone else. When one thinks about it, it makes
sense considering a newborn child may be the living manifestation of solipsism.
It explains when if you see a child with a toy it loves, and an adult takes the
childs toy away, the child automatically and unconsciously cries. This is
because in the world of the childs mind, if the baby cant see the toykid cant
see it, its not there. Eventually a baby grows into a child, teenager, and an adult
that realizes that theres a world that exists beyond and away from its direct
consciousness.
THE VOICE
Will no one at least try to form a hypothesis or thesis that currently integrates
the quantum physics / parallel dimensions theories with the concepts behind
natural selection or evolutionary progress, to see something? Would the twin
inhabitants on the world in a parallel universe would evolve or advance
 differently than the beings in this dimension? If the phenomena on that world
were to change the progress at the same speed as the phenomena on earth, like
how we went from Point A towards a long path and inevitably reached Point B
and C, would those nearly identical phenomena arrive at Points B and C as
well? Thats very tough to say. You probably would have to take the
environment, physiological, economical, and geographical stimuli into account.
There are so many profound questions that science raises which let
philosophical reasoning and perception attempt to answer. But to fully develop
a philosophical hypothesis around scientific evidence, it certainly helps to
understand the reasoning behind science as well as philosophy, which again
comes full circle and invariably creates a question that can indirectly integrate
with the branch of philosophy known as logical positivism and scientific
empiricism.
Phantom
The road to transcendence is paved with diligent asceticism, and through lack of
attachment to temporality, aversion, pleasure, money, and deceit. Its best to
always be honest, noble, and speak kindly at all times, no matter what your
religion is. I believe it is the true power of ethical, nonsectarian living. Im still
trying to figure out what The Way is, but one must always have faith that there
is a way, even if it may lie in many different methods of attainment. Perhaps the
way is to embrace life in the most authentic and sincere nature possible, without
the supernatural, metaphysical, or mystical elements. Perhaps The Way lies in
neither the esoteric nor the dogmatic. Perhaps it lies in realizing the higher
nature of ones Self. This is an opinion.Most religions, despite the
mysteriousness and mysticism behind them, have taught entire cultures how to
develop upon their pre-existing system of ethics, keeping the general population
from creating chaos within itself, thus destroying itself, and that fact alone
proves the value of religious systems. The problem, however, is when people
take religious convictions too far, mutilate the convictions basic tenets just to
feed individual will, which can often lead to suppression, oppression, bigotry,
fear, disputes, hatred, and malice, which are often things, the very evil, that
religion itself initially meant to reject and oppose. This creates a type of
ideological hypocrisy that it can lead to when its not used sincerely, and thus go
the extreme action of rejection of the entire orthodox religious system. And its
practitioners in general, which I think is a bit extreme, because there are some
valuable things taught in many religions. I dont think we should kill off an
entire group because a few members make idiots of their Selves and set bad
ethical examples in general. Look at yourself. Look at THE Self. The Self. I
believe The Selfof the sentient human realmis an integrated whole,
constructed of many various components, which comprise the totality of the
whole. The include The Self (its totality), the body, the mind, the ego,
perception, intelligence, creativity, temporality, emotions, impulses, thoughts,
ideas, and feelings.
THE VOICE
There are over 6 billion people living on the earth currently. That means there
are over six billion separated lives and perceptions. You have your own unique
 perception, just like everyone else. The world does exist, and after I cease to
exist, the world will still continue to exist, just not to my own perception. I
firmly believe that the truth does lie in ambiguity, because from ambiguity, I can
derive answers that, in some cases, had not previously existed. Thats how I
arrived at a certain societal osmosis theory which I thought of a while ago,
about deciphering between hereditary traits and ones that were learned from
fellow inhabitants in the cultural environment. Something new is not tautology.
Its so easy to be tautological and disguise new things for the same old things,
especially when you become older. But let me tell you something about that.
Tautalogy equals stagnation. Truth dispels tautology for what it is: Stagnation.
This is why you must strive for the beauty of ambiguity, because truth comes
from ambiguity, among many other things. Once one finds a comfort and home
in ambiguity, they will manifest originality. I dont know if you or I are original.
I dont know how often someone actually is original nowadays. Descartes never
claimed to be original. Neither did any of the masters of Western art. They were
humble and acknowledged the influence and originality of their colleagues and
predecessors, who never made bold proclamations of originality. The only way
to be recognized for your brilliance, is to show your brilliance. Not tell people
about it. People should talk and make claims, unless they can back their claims
and boasts up with substance that makes the contents form. Sometimes it seems
too fucking obvious! It also pretty much boils down to this: Knowledge of
ambiguity comes from knowledge of the Authentic Self and Unified
Emptinesss, plain and simple. Once we learn to love ourselves, we can learn to
love others. Its just plain tough doing it vice-versa.
Jonathan
When you go to sleep, your consciousness fades, in and out, in and out, dims,
and dissolves with subtlety. This morning while I was waking and falling
asleep, I could actually kind of feel my consciousness going on and off, myself
going in and out of awareness. It was a cool feeling.
THE VOICE
Have recently thought up a theory that Ive decided to call Sensory Osmosis,
which was inspired by the new look of the Pepsi cans I occasionally drink: My
theory tries to explain how the look of something and the perceptual impression
it gives ones sense of sight can perhaps also influence ones sense of taste and
how good the thing tastes as well. If a piece of food looks good, it will
subsequently taste good as well. Textures can influence emotive and physical
perception. If something looks nasty or disgusting, it will often therefore taste
as it looks. I find the possibility that our sight and the way we perceive textural
values with our sight will often in turn influence our various other four senses.
So Im basically trying to search for a correlation between perception of
textures through our sight and perception through our taste. It all is correlated
intrinsically to our consciousness, which feeds our awareness of All That Is, of
course.I was thinking about perception: Its already been stated by before that if
theres over six billion people who live in this world, there are also six billion
individual perceptions for each of those people. So if there are six billion
perceptions, that also means there are six billion worlds that exist within those
 six billion perceptions of each subjective worldview (each separate subjective
world correlates to a singular perception of the world by one individual).
Basically if there are six billion people, there are also six billion hidden
dimensions, or worlds that exist within one finite and ultimate world, upon
which all those separate inner worlds are grounded upon. One ultimate,
unbiased reality (the objective) to hold all those biased realities (the subjective)
together, like a house constructed with cement as its foundation. There is one
ultimate objective world, which holds all the six billion subjective worlds
together, but which does not have a single objective consciousness. That is the
limitation of human perception. No one consciousness speaks for all the
subjective worlds that each exist within each persons being. This is because the
subjective and the act of perception exist within the individual mind, and
therefore cannot be ultimately objective. Nearly anything within the human
consciousness and mind is open to embody the subjective. All of this started
with nothingness, andcosmologically speakingwill end in nothingness just
as it had began once. Or at least on this planet it will. Its tough to speak for the
entire cosmos. Can we actually see nothingness? On this planet, it seems as if
were not able to actually see nothingness. Were surrounded entirely by various
forms of being, whether its the color in the sky or the warm or cold ground
itself. So perhaps, through human perception, one cannot have nothingness
without being to contrast with it. Does thin air contain nothingness? Do space
and the universe? Is it made of nothingness because we cannot see it, or does it
consist of intangible formi.e. molecules and air particles? How about wind?
Historically, ontology has been viewed primarily from a theoretically
philosophical one and not a scientific one.

PHANTOM
Thats a good question. Was everything before I woke up this morning simply a
dream or fantasy? Thats quite the solipsistic question, although nonetheless a
realistic one. Not a bad question at all. Maybe reincarnation or being reborn at
first feels like it does when you just wake from a deep sleep, because I know
that when I awake from a very deep sleep, I tend to have trouble remembering
what I did the day before, just like if I had a past life or past lives, I cant
directly remember what happened during them, such as how I died, etc., etc.
Many liberals AND conservatives seem so caught up in their politically polar
ideologies that they often lack quite a few humanitarian aspects, regardless of
what religion they belong to. Even though some so-called religious people
dont even have these specifically human qualities, many do. Like anyone who
practices their religion on a transcendental level. Many atheists lack
humanitarian qualities, like the ones who dont like to think or philosophize.
However, if you dont believe in God, but you have redeeming qualities like
youre loving, compassionate, optimistic and open minded, and have a
humanitarian quality like wanting to improve the condition of other humans
lives, then youd most likely be just as happy, as long as you werent driven by
money. If youre not doing it for God, then you can at least do it for spiritual
edification, for the feeling you get when you make other peoples lives easier.
Selfless and Egoless Love and Compassion often bring True Enlightenment and
 Edification, not to mention quite a bit of Happiness and Satisfaction. It has for
me, and Im sure it will for other people. Including yourself. Its important to be
kind and caring. How about the fear of dying: Many people are afraid to die, but
regardless of how scary death in fact is, I feel its simply because they do not
truly understand, comprehend, or accept the concept of death. A lot of people
are suffering to the point of being very suicidal, but when they think of actually
committing suicide, theyre too afraid of the pain theyll feel from actually
dying. Thats a very complex mindset. Suicide is clearly not the answer, to state
the obvious. Your own suffering in your current life may or may not be relieved,
but the ones who love you and want to see you live will still inevitably end up
suffering even more in your absence, which only results in more suffering in the
world, not just your own. I think suffering is one truly universal trait that people
share, which is unfortunate, because it proves suffering still exists in the first
place. Its sad really. Now that Im on the topic of Eternity, I truly believe that
the Inner Genius and the Inner Sage exists somewhere deep within all of us. Its
just a matter of unlocking and extracting it. We can all be Leaders, Sages,
Prophets, and Altruistic. Its just a matter of seeking and discovering the uses
for these things. The simple fact of the matter is that deep down, were all
human beings, we all desire to be happy, and we all have suffered, know what
suffering is, recognize suffering, and quite possibly will suffer in the future at
one point or another. According to history, Buddha started his Spiritual Quest as
a normal human being just as you and I would. He simply found a Divine
Personal Truth, or Four Divine Truths, to be more specific. He called those The
Four Noble Truths (list them). And with those Four Noble Truths, he traveled
for many years trying to inform the human race of his discovery. I (i.e. you)
have observed something, though. One factor thats made me unhappy in the
past is when I dont have certain things in my life, I dont even realize that Im
missing out on something until that lack of something is shoved aggressively
and directly in my face by some exterior forceeither by culture or society or
something else entirelythus creating a realization of absence, and that
realization in the past has led to self-created suffering out of desire for the thing
that Im missing. I handle these kinds of things differently now, because I
cherish the things I already have, more so than the things Im missing. To put it
in a more reason-based light, I handle these things quite differently now,
because I cherish whatever it is I have more than whatever it is I DONT have.
How can I cherish these things that I dont have when I dont even know what it
is Im missing. Because I dont have it, my mind has filled out the blanks in
the past, and I use my unconscious imagination, and assume that its a good
feeling to have those things, so I then assume Im lacking good things in my
life, and that presumptuous sadness makes me sad and I suffer. But look at it a
different way, how can I know that something I dont have is a good thing when
the simple lack of it is already making me suffer? Would that not be indicator of
further suffering to come due to the possession of it? After all, how can
someone know what its like to have something until they actually have it? For
most things, the truth is simply that you cant. No one knows what its like to
own a large fortune unless they actually own a large fortune, correct?
Assumptive being is clearly not the same as tangible being How does a
computer work? How does a CD player read data on a CD if its not set up like a
microchip? How do I exist and how is my actual existence manifested? How do
 I see color? How is color useful to us humans as a progressive society, other
than things like stop signs and emotions and color psychology? How was the
concept of time discovered? How often are people spiritually Enlightened? How
and why does suffering exist? What is the traditional way for handling loss and
death, if there is any specific orthodox way? Do affection and compassion really
cause that much happiness? What suffices for genius? How are certain mental
states recognized, analyzed, and categorized? How does the human body
(biology) and consciousness work? Why are so many humans driven by
pleasure, and why does everyone desire to attain happiness? Why is violence so
prevalent in the first place? Why do wars even exist? Why do some people
believe in hatred, prejudice, and racism? Why do so many people lack
knowledge of True Self, or the True Benevolent Manifestation of Self, if you
will? Why does happiness seem so hard to attain for some people? Is the human
body composed of an Integral kind of Duality? Does the fact that not everyone
can be a spiritual leader and the fact that most people have to live normal
regular lives with low paying jobsas well as partake in worldly excess
created a wealthy kind of contrast and equilibrium, or does it verify that the
majority of the world is lacking in the Knowledge of the Sages? Are humans
really all that different than animals? What is the true motivation behind self-
inflicted pain and suicide? What causes depression and loneliness, other than
heredity and lack of good company? What classifies as insanity? What is
weird? When was the cosmos initially created? How much longer will the
cosmos continue to exist for? Is The Cosmos truly infinite, or does it cease
being at a certain point? Are there any other types of evolution other than those
of species physical bodily structure? Are Evolution and Relativity general
terms and not just scientific ones? Which is more truly powerful: The Mind or
The Body; or are they both correlative upon one another in order to achieve full
power? The Body cannot function without the commands given by The Mind,
but The Mind cannot execute commands without The Body. So I believe, in a
way, to achieve anything great, and to have an effect on anything exterior and
outside The Body, both elements need to work together in harmonious
correlation and collaboration. Honestly, I constantly wonder why so many non-
religious people automatically equate the term religious with the Christian
religion. For a lot of people, saying someones religious automatically implies
that they are Christian. Or if you say someone turns to religion, that
automatically means theyve turned to Christianity. Incorrect sir! Its too
stereotypical and one-dimensional. Just like always equating Spirit with God is
wrong, because spirituality isnt always deity-driven. Yes, you can believe in
God somewhat, but in my opinion it should be more along the lines of the
pantheist-Gnostic God than it is the fallacy known as the Christian God. Thats
one of the most ridiculous constructions ever created and imagined by man, to
frighten people into partaking in a neo-mythological ritualistic orthodox
conformity based on blind faith (i.e. Believe in me or Im sending you to
hell!). Its amazing how many people have been duped into believing this type
of non-mystical and generally flawed, insincere theology. I think some
religions, like Christianity, Islam and whatnot, on a certain level, keep people
from thinking too much and using sensible pragmatic judgment. Leave that to
the Gnostics and philosophers, they say. The Buddha, Lao-Tzu, and all the
Eastern Mystics never taught that you should follow anything based on blind
 belief, assumption, or faith. He taught that people should conduct their own
experiments, and thus seek out and find what makes them edified and happy.
Its great when it works for them, but that doesnt guarantee its going to work
for everyone else. The same could be said for Buddhism, Judaism, Taoism,
Hinduism, etc. We need to find the System that works for us best and helps us
transcend our old self-involved, self-imposed boundaries. We need to find
something that helps give the clear, unbigoted, and open minded view of the
worldand possibly the Cosmos. And just because you belong to this or that
religion doesnt mean you should try to convert everyone to your lifestyle or
point of view. Thats not pragmatic for the people who are being preached to.
Plus, I believe that would be somewhat illogical. Whatever a person chooses to
believe can also have a lot to do with their family history and ancestors, for
some belief systems and cultures anyway. A small ego is an invaluable tool in
the quest for attaining big goals and becoming truly successful. True personal
Success of the Spirit is manifested through humility, spiritually speaking, and
true Failure of Spirit is manifest through ego, self-righteousness, and
arrogance.Ive got to be honest with you (name). I look around at your world,
the corporeal material world, I look around the various social and cultural
landscape of your plain of existence and I cannot say that I am very impressed
by success as measured by the humans in your world: Killing each other, hating
each other, disrespecting and insulting each other spiritually, especially in
America. I cant say I envy you or your culture. The vast majority of people in
your world are incredibly hateful and shallow. The majority of them are running
around, chasing phony, false, and sometimes false ideas. I might even say it
sickens me, the lack of depth in your world on so many levels. However, I CAN
say that there still is hope for the future, whether it is in the innovations and
wisdom of the elderly, or the energy of youth. While much changes in the
technological realm of your existence, human nature, regardless of evolution,
remains shockingly consistent.
God is quite the enigma. Why is it considered irrefutable knowledge by so
many that he is, in fact, male and does, in fact exist in a form that any way
resembles the body of a human, simply because thats how God is portrayed in
Biblical art? Why is this, in the opinion of some, not open to scrutiny simply
because its been a cherished belief in many parts of the world for so many
years? I dont accept this because the keeping of slaves was also an accepted
standard by the confederates and many in the early American colonies. And the
Nazis, claiming divine inspiration, considered the elimination of the entire
Jewish people acceptable, but now the Nazis are considered evil by the
majority of people (including Christians and Catholics alike), which only makes
sense. Im not necessarily saying that the Christian God is evil. Im just saying
that theres a good chance that the logic that goes behind believing in this
God is not founded on logic, and often not even on experience, but rather on an
emotional matrix. Just because something is publicly accepted during a certain
zeitgeist does not automatically mean it is correct and irrefutable, or if nothing
else, this is the way I see it. This is similar to the way Charles Darwin thought
of religion, and look at how controversial Darwin and the concept of Evolution
have become, despite Evolutions scientific foundation. I do however know that
Im much happier than Darwin ever was, because he was a greater genius than I
will ever be, which is part of the reason he was probably more miserable than I
ever have been: True intelligence often brings misery and loneliness, because it
is not a common trait. Many atheists are not very happy more than likely
because theyre in the minority of the population and share a common
recurring trait among minorities: Unhappiness over few to no people in your
direct reality knowing how you feel. So their unhappiness does not necessarily
stem from an absence of God as many hardcore Christians claim. So even if
there is a God and they dont believe in it/them/she/him, their disharmony and
unhappiness is not necessarily directly correlative to their lack of belief. And
the greatest systems in the world have a certain nihilistic quality to them, in
terms of previous generations. Innovation is founded on a nihilistic spirit, and
anti-authority spirit. In terms of creativity and innovation, its a healthy thing to
question authority, not an unhealthy thing.
JONATHAN
Sometimes I wonder about you guys. You and thatvoice. I have no clue which
one of you is right, and half the time when I hear or see you with your
commentaries on all these things, half the time I wonder if you two are even
real. Or if youre just hallucinations of my over paranoid, overactive
subconscious mind. Though I must give you two credit. Youve opened my
mind a little. I was so focused on tragedy that Im not sure Id ever snap out of
it. But really, what are you? WHO are you? Why dont you tell me who you
are? You and the other one have helped me with my despair so much, I feel like
it would only be fair to learn more about you, as a ghost, or whatever it is you
are.
Phantom
Who I am is not what matters, kid. I may teach you so-called lessons here and
there about life, but that doesnt mean you need to know about MY life. Life is
not as important as t he lessons we learn from it. Even that arrogant phone
stalker you talk to will tell you that. Youre parents current state of post-
existence and that non-existences effect on you is just ONE of your problems.
Jonathan
My father never did listen to any of my theories I had about my literary career.
He always thought that if you werent a winner like him, talking and
fantasizing about success you dont have yet was a waste of time.
Considering how brilliant he was as a programmer, I was always shocked about
how close minded he was in some ways about success in a creative field. He
never did get my hobbies. It was almost like he often felt threatened by my
potential success. Im not going to lie, he could be an asshole sometimes, but
much of the time he cared. And I still miss him though.