Brodown

Hodown
Montgomery, Vermont
Labor Day Weekend - 2017

Vermonts biggest little

gay party weekend
 DISCLAIMER

Hi, Im Mike. Im your weekend guide, your affable party host, and the cancerous little angel perched on your
shoulder happily shepherding you into making regrettable decisions during what will be the craziest Vermont
party weekend yet. So grab my hand and lets head deep into the mountains of Vermont together

You probably already know what this weekend is: a guerilla gay bombing of a small village in the middle-of-
nowhere Vermont. So now Ill try to explain why this weekend is. Its to get away from gay city people and to
give you a chance to step outside of the real world for a weekend and into an alternate universe where a tiny
farming/mountain town is suddenly and overwhelmingly gay.

The weekend is weird, very drunk, and honestly its not for everybody. Its definitely not luxurious, its
definitely not fabulous, its unique. But its really, really fun if youre a laid back, easy-going kind of homo. Youll
meet a lot of new people, and probably make a lot of new friends.

The purpose of this guide is to help you determine if this weekend is for you. It might not be, and thats ok. But
if it is, youre going to have a weekend you wont forget.
WelCome to Summer gAY cAMp
Aaaaaaaaaaah summer camp hiking through the woods,
campfires at night, vicious and hateful social cliques that
psychologically destroy your slightly overweight friend, and
that one creepy older councilor that would have you smell-
test ether rags in the back of his Taurus... For many of us,
it was the best time of our lives.

Deep in the woods of Vermonts Northeast Kingdom is the

strange little town of Montgomery the unlikeliest spot for
a gay throwdown party weekend. If you blinked, youd drive
right through it. But if you dig a little deeper, youd find
a really weird scene theres a dark youth hostel style
lodge but also perfectly quaint inns theres a little white
steeple church, but thats where the town buys its drugs.
Theres a lot of farmers and rednecks, but even more hippies
and homos. And everyone seems to get along.

And then at Labor Day, this little town center of about 500
people welcomes 100 city gays. Its weird, but its kind of
perfect.

Weve been doing this for many years and had over 100 guys
from the US and Canada there last year. Its not an
organized gay weekend and theres no paid events, or
anything other than an open invite to come and check out
Montgomery, Vermont, kick back, let loose, and experience a
scene that is, in many ways, the opposite of Provincetown,
Key West, or big city gay fests.
 satUrdAy
Daytime (12pm-5pm) Third Hole. Boozy river hike and drinking.
This is the day we go on a relatively easy 20-25 minute hike to
a swimming hole thats a little more remote in the woods.
Bring water, bring sneakers or reasonable shoes (no need for
hiking boots or anything, its more of a walk than a hike
but you should avoid flip-flops or barefeet.)

Directions: When you walk out of Grampa Grunts, go straight up Rt. 58 until it bends to the left. Youll see a little parking area. Follow the
trail into the woods, you will have to walk through some water by the waterfalls (knee-deep) and youll hike along the other side of the river
until you find us all. Should be about 15 minutes one you cross the river.
 satUrdAy

Note: if you drink too much, it can be dangerous on the rocks. Deal with it, missy.
Theres nothing like a cleansing fire to wash away
the demons of a weekend well-spent.

Sunday night will be at Chars house in Montgomery

Village. The bonfire this year will be bigger.

People will caravan over (its a 10 minute drive

from the big city lights of Montgomery Center) and
its BYOB.

Unless you went to one of those ultra-rapey

Midwestern state colleges, this will be the
biggest bonfire youve ever seen. Thanks to a
massive ice storm Obama sent on Christmas Eve to
please his Muslim overlords, the tree stack is
almost twice as big as last years massive fire.
Bonfiring will be between 9pm-11pm

The bonfire will also be on Hill West Road, across

from the pulloff for the swimming hole at
Charlies house.
SUNDAY NIGHT
GAY REFUGEE
CAMP PARTY
You probably need water. Its been a drunk
weekend. Lets hang by one of the 100 fires and
get to know each other a little better.
Sunday night will be the after-weekend party down at the river
on my property. Were going to string up tents, light tons of
fires and mellow out to some trippy tunes. Last year, I
actually tried to burn the woods down. I wont fail again.

Suggested attire: fur coats, bathrobes, pajamas, onesies.

BYOB NO GLASS
 HOLD UP KMOSABE!
SUNDAY NIGHT DISCLAIMER
SUNDAY NIGHT Party. The fine print:

My house will be shut and locked. The party is down on the

land by the river. If you have to pee, pee in the woods. If
you have to shit, ew, go home. Shitting at a party?
Literally nobody likes you. Just walk home.
Water and (maybe) ice will be provided, bring your own
booze/mixers/stuff.
PLEASE try to avoid glass bottles or be careful with them.
We walk around barefoot down there all year.
It could be dangerous getting through the woods it could
be wet, slippery, etc. As they say on that HBO show, Girls,
The night is dark and full of terrors. YOU are responsible
for YOURSELF as if you were an adult, or a Republican.
If you choose to drink alcohol, hurray for you, but youre
nobodys responsibility but your own. Die fag.
Respect our neighbors, they have shitloads of guns, are
scared of city music and hate the very idea of you.
Frequently axed questions
What does this cost? There are no
costs other than your own lodging,
eating and drinking costs. This
isnt an event is an anti-event.
Its barely planned. Its just a
town open house. Come one, come
all. Allahu akbar.
What is the group like? The key
demographic is laid-back/easy-
going. No drama, pussies or
bitches. In a word, bros.
Thats nice, but Im gay and
shallow, I meant, what are their
stats? Average age is 22-32 -
younger and older too. The crowd
comes 50% from Boston, 25% from
other parts of the US and 25% from
Canada. French Canadians are uncut
and mostly insane. Since were
doing outdoors shit, the party
attracts more of an outdoorsy/jock
crowd than your typical gay soiree.
How do I get there? Drive. I can
help find you a ride from Boston,
New York, Burlington VT or
Montreal, so if you can get to one
of those cities, youre all set.
Is this a circuit party? I dont
know what that is. Our friends
arent druggies, theyre boozers
and stoners. Ive never been to a
circuit party but Id imagine this Grampa Grunts is the youth-
is the opposite of something youd
find in Miami or Provincetown.
Is this a crazy sex party? No.
Definitely no. But its a party of
100 drunk guys up in the mountains
for a few days. So yeah, theres
lots of hooking up going on.
Will I die? Ive thrown this party
twice a year for 9 years and very,
very few guests have died.
Is it true there are no cell phones
in town? Yep. There is no cell
phone coverage in town. There is
wifi in the lodges and you can
drive a few minutes out of town to
catch a signal, but prepare to
unplug. It feels amazing.
Will I be gay-bashed in a small
mountain/farming town in the middle
of nowhere? Nope. Just be cool.
Its a great little town, but its
definitely not ptown so behave
and act like a man, man.
Where to stay
Google these places and you
gotta call them.
hostel-style party central
spot. Its not luxury.
There are bunk beds.
The Inn owned by a gay
couple that escaped NYC,
this place is amazing.
Theres an awesome bar and
restaurant too so check it
out at some point.
Phineas Swan another b&b,
this one is also pretty
nice and is dog-friendly.
They might have rooms
available.
The Coach House average
rooms, good place to stay.
Snowshoe Lodge the town
bar. Loud and proud.
Decidedly not fancy.
Town Hall
Saturday
night dance
party

The Sunday

The Inn!!

Pretty stuff
A travel note: some GPS systems will take you off Interstate 91 and onto VT-route 58. This is outlined
in blue above. This is the shortest way to get there, but its a windy dirt road through a mountain pass
where youll have no cell phone coverage and youre gay.

I recommend it for people with chunky tires, but not performance or low-profile tires. Its also probably
not the best idea if youre super anal about your cars paint job or keeping it clean. The route outlined in
red is how most GPS systems will send you and its the best bet. Itll take you to Jay Peak Resort and
then to Montgomery. .
LABOR DAY WEEKEND 2017 MONTGOMERY CENTER VERMONT
You get to be a weirdo for a weekend. Enjoy it.
The worlds most unlikely gay resort.
 Kesha lied about rape.
And her new album is garbage.
Brodown
Hodown
Montgomery, Vermont
Labor Day Weekend 2017
Its 125 guys partying in the woods of
Vermont with no cell phone coverage.
What could go wrong?