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The TOEFL essay is usually five paragraphs long and has three parts: the introduction, the body, and the conclusion. Each part of
the essay has a different function, and readers expect certain information in each of these parts.
Here's a brief explanation of the three main parts found in the TOEFL essay structure:
Introduction
The introduction is the first paragraph of your essay. The first few sentences of this paragraph simply introduce the reader to the
topic. The last sentence is called the thesis statement and clearly states your opinion. This is the most important sentence in the
essay.
Body
The body of the essay is usually three paragraphs long. Each paragraph begins with a topic sentence that tells the reader what the
rest of the paragraph is going to be about. The remaining sentences are called supporting ideas because their main function is to
"support" the topic sentence.
Conclusion
The conclusion is the last paragraph of the essay. It restates the thesis and gives the reader a brief summary of the essay's main
points. This paragraph is usually about 3 sentences long.
Do not underestimate the importance of the essay structure. In fact, not using this structure is one
of the biggest mistakes that you can make.
When you use this structure in your essay, your ideas will be presented in a clear and logical way.
Your essay will really begin to flow, and this makes it much easier for the reader to understand. Even
with mistakes in spelling and grammar, an essay written in this structure is better than one with perfect
grammar that is not.
The introduction is the first paragraph of your essay, and it is important to make a good impression here. If you don't start out well,
it will be difficult to convince your readers (or the TOEFL assessor!) to take your writing seriously. Here's what you should know
about the introduction:
All introductions must meet these five conditions. If it is missing one or two of them, then it is a weak introduction.
Many communities have been debating whether or not police officers should carry guns.
You can see that there is no opinion in this sentence; it is only a general statement about the essay topic.
In some situations, guns protect the police officer as well as the public. However, guns often result in injuries
and death.
By explaining both sides of the argument (this is called contrasting), you show the reader that you have thought carefully about the
issue.
You should also know that when you contrast both sides of the argument, it is better to begin with the side of the argument that you
do not agree with. This is more natural in English, and your essay introduction will develop logically toward the thesis statement.
For our introduction, here's what the thesis statement could look like:
In this example, we have a strong thesis statement. It is simple and direct: it answers the essay question and tells the reader
exactly what our opinion is.
It is not an exaggeration to say that the thesis statement is the most important sentence in the essay. In fact, if the reader has
difficulty understanding the essay, he will often return to the thesis statement to be reminded what the essay is about. A bad thesis
statement results in a bad essay.
Many communities have been debating whether or not police officers should carry guns. In some situations,
guns protect the police officer as well as the public. However, guns often result in injuries and death. No police
officer should ever carry a gun.
In the first sentence we began the introduction with a general statement about the essay topic. Then, in the second and third
sentences, we contrasted both sides of the argument. Our last sentence was the thesis statement: this is where we answered the
essay question and gave our opinion.
The introduction has a "hook or grabber" to catch the reader's attention. Some "grabbers" include:
1. Opening with an unusual detail: (Manitoba, because of its cold climate, is not thought of as a great place to be a reptile. Actually,
it has the largest seasonal congregation of garter snakes in the world!)
2. Opening with a strong statement: (Cigarettes are the number one cause of lighter sales in Canada!)
3. Opening with a Quotation: (Elbert Hubbard once said, "Truth is stronger than fiction.")
4. Opening with an Anecdote: An anecdote can provide an amusing and attention-getting opening if it is short and to the point.
5. Opening with a Statistic or Fact: Sometimes a statistic or fact will add emphasis or interest to your topic. It may be wise
to include the item's authoritative source.
6. Opening with a Question. (Have you ever considered how many books we'd read if it were not for television?)
7. Opening with an Exaggeration or Outrageous Statement. (The whole world watched as the comet flew overhead.)
The thesis statement is the most important sentence in the essay. It does not include specific details that appear later in your essay,
but it should answer the essay question clearly and directly. If somebody reads your thesis sentence, they should be able to answer
these two questions:
What is the essay about?
What is your opinion?
Before we look at examples of unacceptable thesis statements, let's have another look at our sample essay question:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Police officers should not carry guns.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Now take a look at an unacceptable thesis statement:
Police officers work hard.
This thesis statement doesn't give us an opinion. It also doesn't tell us what the essay is about. In fact, it's not related to the essay
topic at all. Here's another one that's not so good:
Guns help to protect police officers.
Unacceptable. It may be true that "guns help to protect police officers," but we still don't know what the writer's opinion is. And
here's a third example:
Police officers don't need guns.
Again, it may be true that "police officers don't need guns," but what is the writer's opinion? Should police officers carry guns?
Strong thesis statements
Now that we've seen a few examples of both good thesis statements and bad thesis statements, the next question is this: how can
we write a great thesis statement? Let's start with a thesis statement that we already know is good:
Police officers should not carry guns.
This is a good thesis statement, but it's not a great one. We can improve it by making the language stronger. Do this by using
stronger language, words such as no or never. Here's what it looks like when we've made our improvements:
Police officers should never carry guns.
We could also say something like this:
No police officer should ever carry a gun.
If our thesis statement is a positive sentence, we can strengthen the language with a word like always. Here's an example:
Police officers should always carry guns.
Next we'll look at other ways of strengthening our thesis statement.
Very strong thesis statements
Okay, we have written our thesis statement. Here it is:
Police officers should never carry guns.
It's already good, but we can make it even stronger by using a few phrases to emphasize our point. Here are some that we can use:
regardless of, under no circumstances, at no time, without exception. This is what our final thesis statement will look like:
Regardless of the situation, police officers should never carry guns.
Or it could look like this:
Look at these example topics to see how different thesis statements can come from the same topic.
Topic 1
You have been told that the dormitory rooms at your university must be shared by two students. Would you rather have the university
assign a student to share a room with you, or would you rather choose your own roommate? Use specific reasons and details to
explain your answer.
Thesis statement A
Since I do not get along well with many people, I prefer to choose my own roommate.
From this thesis statement, we can presume that the writer will discuss why s/he has difficulty having relations with people.
Thesis B
The opportunity to meet new people is an important benefit of a university education, so I believe it is better to let the university
choose my roommate for me.
From this statement, we can presume the writer will discuss the benefits of meeting new people at a university.
A thesis statement must be on the topic. Pay close attention to what the topic asks you to do.
Topic 2
Some people think governments should spend as much money as possible exploring outer space (for example, traveling to the moon
and to other planets). Other people disagree and think governments should spend this money for our basic needs on Earth. Which of
these two opinions do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
Thesis statement A
The moon is a better place to explore because it is nearer than the planets.
From this thesis statement is NOT a good thesis statement for this topic. It takes two of the words from the topic and writes about
exploration possibilities. The topic, though, is how best to spend limited resources: on space exploration or on needs on Earth. This
thesis statement is off topic.
Thesis statement B
While there is still hunger, poverty, and illiteracy on Earth, our resources should be focused here and not in outer space.
From this thesis statement, we can presume the writer will discuss why hunger, poverty, and illiteracy on Earth are more worthy of
attention than space exploration.
Thesis statement C
Gaining psychological and scientific knowledge through space exploration will benefit us more than trying to solve problems on
Earth.
From this thesis statement, we can presume the writer will discuss in detail the psychological and scientific benefits that we receive
from space exploration.
RECOMENDATIONS
Dont be afraid of controversy.
In an argumentative essay, a thesis is a declarative sentence that takes a stance. If you feel strongly about a social issue and you
believe you can back it up, then go ahead and do it. Just be sure you back up your stance with facts and not opinions. Dont use
cruel or insulting statements, just the facts.
Be aware that there will always be someone who disagrees with your stance. Thats what makes life interesting. Thats also what
makes essays interesting!
Dont be ambiguous.
You may decide to take a stance, but you cant find facts to back up your argument. If so, you might be on the right track, but you just
need to focus a little more.
For instance, you might want to argue that music classes should be mandatory for all students. You may believe this, but can you
back it up?
First, do a little research. You may find evidence that children who study music at a very young age tend to do well in math and
science later in life. Based on this research, you may want to narrow your thesis to reflect this more narrow argument.
Your thesis sentence should be flexible, until you are finished with your research and your writing. It is not unusual for writers to
revise the thesis sentence several times. As you research your topic, you may be frustrated to find some fascinating research that fits
just outside the boundary of your thesis.
This is difficult. You can decide to exclude this research or you could decide to change your thesis. If you include it, be sure it is
strong enough to support an entire paragraph.
The best approach is to collect all the research you can, first. Then sort the facts into categorieseither on paper or in your head.
These categories will become your paragraphs.
Narrow and revise your thesis as you go. Once youve completed your essay, check a final time to see that your thesis fulfills the
following roles.
Example Introduction:
Many communities have been debating whether or not police officers should carry guns. In some situations, guns
protect the police officer as well as the public. However, guns often result in injuries and death. No police officer should
ever carry a gun.
Example Introduction:
Many people feel that voting is a waste of time. They claim that the candidates are all alike: they make promises to win votes
but never carry them through. However, this view is both cynical and foolish. In my opinion, votes do count, candidates are different,
and every eligible voter should vote in every election.
Example Introduction:
"Do you think teenagers should have jobs while they are still students?":
I've worked ever since I was twelve. As a teenager, I cleaned houses for my family members, made banana splits at an ice
cream parlor, and waited tables at various restaurants. I did it all while carrying a pretty good grade point average in school, too! I
definitely believe that teenagers should have jobs while they are still students because a job teaches discipline, earns them cash for
school, and keeps them out of trouble.
Example Introduction:
Many find it advantageous to purchase a home, but others find renting more suited to their needs. While there are
advantages for both options, renting is generally the best choice for young foreign students. Foreign students often do not have
good credit histories or enough money to buy a home and need to know that it will not be necessary to find a buyer for the home if
they decide to transfer to another school or return home.
Example Introduction:
[GRABBER-OPENING WITH A STRONG STATEMENT] Of all the problems facing the environment today, the one that bothers me
the most is global warming. [FOCUSING] Some scientists say that the earth is getting warmer because of the greenhouse effect.
[THESIS STATEMENT] In this paper I will describe the greenhouse effect and whether the earth's atmosphere is actually getting
warmer.
Example Introduction:
Some people argue that television is a complete waste of time. Other people claim that television is a great educational
resource. I maintain that despite all of the violence and sex in many programs, television plays a useful and important role
in our society.
Show off your writing skills in the TOEFL essay by using verbs that add color and variety to your writing.
Three common verbs that students use on their TOEFL essays are think, believe, and say. These verbs are especially useful when
you have to give an opinion about something:
think
Some people think that television is a complete waste of time.
believe
Some people believe that television is a complete waste of time.
say
Some people say that television is a complete waste of time.
Each sentence is grammatically correct. Each sentence is perfectly acceptable. However, English is a rich language, and there are
many verbs for expressing opinions. It's easy to do this, too. There are many verbs that we can use in our TOEFL essay to replace
think, believe, and say. Here are some of the most common:
argue
Some people argue that television is a complete waste of time.
claim
Some people claim that television is a complete waste of time.
maintain
Some people maintain that television is a complete waste of time.
assert
Some people assert that television is a complete waste of time.
insist
Some people insist that television is a complete waste of time.
contend
Some people contend that television is a complete waste of time.
Amazing, isn't it? In every case, we've just substituted one of our new verbs for think, believe, or say. This is an easy way to bring
your TOEFL essay to life.
A word of warning, however: be careful not to use the same verb many times throughout your TOEFL essay. These verbs are very
expressive, so don't repeat them--it's always best to use a variety of verbs in your TOEFL writing. Here's an example:
Some people argue that television is a complete waste of time. Other people claim that television is a great educational
resource. I maintain that despite all of the violence and sex in many programs, television plays a useful and important role
in our society.
The important thing in this passage is that we are using different verbs to express opinions. This not only makes your TOEFL essay
more interesting, but it also shows off your language skills to the TOEFL assessor.
The body of the essay is everything that comes between your introduction and the conclusion. Here's what you need to know:
It's okay if you don't understand topic sentences or supporting ideas. That's what we'll look at; read on.
Supporting ideas
Everything that comes after the topic sentence is called a supporting idea. This is because it "supports" your topic sentence.
A supporting idea could be almost anything: a story from your life, a philosophical argument, a personal experience, or some
statistical information. The important thing is that it explains why you believe that the topic sentence is true.
First, let's have a quick review. We already know that the thesis statement is the last sentence of the introduction. We also know
that the thesis statement is where we give our opinion. Here's the example we used:
It's a good thesis because it tells the reader what the essay is about and it gives an opinion. Now the reader knows what our
opinion is, but he doesn't know why. This is what topic sentence does--it tells the reader why.
Here's the minimum you need to know about what a topic sentence is:
A good way to write a topic sentence is to begin with a list of reasons that support your thesis statement. When you have your list,
then choose the three best reasons. That's what we'll do next.
Next we make a list of all the reasons why we believe our thesis statement is true. Here's what we have:
Now we simply choose the best reasons. Let's choose number 3 and number 6. They look like good reasons to me.
Now that we have two reasons that support our thesis statement, we are almost finished. We only have to put the finishing touches
on, and we'll do that next.
They already look good, but they could be better. We can improve them by adding a transitional phrase at the beginning of each. A
transitional phrase helps the reader understand your essay. It also makes your essay sound more natural.
For our first topic sentence, we can use phrases such as First, First of all, In the first place, To begin with, For one thing. And this is
what our first topic sentence might look like:
For our second topic sentence, we can use these phrases: Second, Next, In addition to the previous point, More importantly. Like
this:
In addition to the previous point, in most cases police officers don't need guns.
They are called supporting ideas because they "support" the topic sentence.
Our TOEFL essay's supporting ideas all come after the topic sentences. They support the topic sentence by telling the reader why
we believe the topic sentence is true.
Supporting ideas can be almost anything. The important thing is that they are all related to the topic sentence and that they support
the topic sentence in some way. Here are some things we can use for our supporting ideas:
A personal experience
Something you've heard or read about
A logical argument
Statistical evidence
Factual information
Expert opinion
We can use any of these four supporting ideas. However, most students use a personal experience or something they have read
about. This is probably because it is easier to write about these things.
Now let's use something that we've heard or read about for our supporting ideas. Our paragraph might look something like this:
First of all, guns cause more harm than good. There are often stories in the newspaper about people who are
accidentally shot. Moreover, many of these stories involve police officers. If guns had not been involved, these
accidents would not have happened. On the other hand, there are very few stories about how a gun has saved
somebody's life.
In this example, our supporting ideas come from stories we've read in the newspaper. And they all explain why guns cause more
harm than good.
We have also used a few interesting phrases at the beginning of some sentences: moreover and on the other hand. These are
called transitional phrases.
In addition to the previous point, in most cases police officers don't need guns.
Now let's try using a personal experience for our supporting ideas. Here's one way we could write the paragraph:
In addition to the previous point, in most cases police officers don't need guns. My father, for example, has been
a police officer for over 20 years, and he has never had to use his gun. In fact, he says that most people who break
the law are unarmed. Thus, it is often unnecessary for police officers to carry guns.
There we have it! Again, our supporting ideas all tell the reader why our topic sentence is true. You will also notice that we've used
a few more transitional phrases: for example, in fact, and thus. We'll talk about that after we write the conclusion.
The conclusion of your TOEFL essay is probably the easiest part to write. Before we begin, here is what you should know about the
conclusion:
The conclusion must restate your thesis statement, summarize the essay's main points and state a positive prediction. If it doesn't
do this, then it's a bad conclusion.
In order to write the conclusion, we have to look at three important sentences in our essay. We look at our thesis statement and we
look at our two topic sentences.
In addition to the previous point, in most cases police officers don't need guns.
Now we simply put them all into one paragraph, beginning with the thesis statement:
In conclusion, police officers should not carry guns. Guns usually cause harm to people. Moreover, police officers
often don't need them to do their jobs.
Maybe you have noticed that we made small changes to the thesis statement and topic sentences. This is because it's not good to
copy the sentences exactly--it's boring for the reader. These changes give our writing more variety.
We also added two transitional phrases to our conclusion: in conclusion and moreover. We'll talk about these in a separate lesson.
A piece of persuasive writing usually ends by summarizing the most important details of the argument and stating once again what
the reader is to believe or do.
ESSAY OUTLINE
I. Introduction:
V. Opposing Viewpoint: (This is optional, however highly recommended, so that the reader will know you have considered another point of view and have a
rebuttal to it.)
VI. Conclusion:
Many communities have been debating whether or not police officers should carry guns. In some situations,
guns protect the police officer as well as the public. However, guns often result in injuries and death. No police
officer should ever carry a gun.
First of all, guns cause more harm than good. There are often stories in the newspapers about people who are
accidentally shot. Moreover, many of these stories involve police officers. If guns had not been involved, these
accidents would not have happened. On the other hand, there are very few stories about how a gun has saved
somebody's life.
In addition to the previous point, in most cases police officers don't need guns. My father, for example, has been
a police officer for over 20 years, and he has never had to use his gun. In fact, he says that most people who break
the law are unarmed. Thus, it is often unnecessary for police officers to carry guns.
In conclusion, police officers should not carry guns. Guns usually cause harm to people. Moreover, police
officers often don't need them to do their jobs.
APPENDIX
Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and
JOSEFINA MILLN
TEACHER TRAINING CENTER
A transitional phrase helps you move from one paragraph to the next. It also helps you move from sentence to
sentence.
Transitional phrases help the reader understand your essay. Learning how to use them will really make your TOEFL essay flow.
They can be used in two places: at the beginning of a paragraph or at the beginning of a sentence. Here's how:
Paragraph 1
This is your introduction. Do not use any transitional words or phrases at the beginning of this paragraph.
Paragraph 2
This is the first paragraph of the essay body. Use any of these at the beginning of this paragraph:
first, first of all, for a start, for starters, in the first place, for one thing, to begin with
Paragraph 3
This is the second paragraph of the essay body. Use any of these at the beginning of this paragraph:
second, next, in addition to the previous point, more importantly, more important than, another key point is
Finally, last but not least important, therefore, my most important reason, etc.
Paragraph 4 (or 5)
This is your conclusion. Use any of these at the beginning of this paragraph:
in conclusion, in closing, to summarize, in sum, in summary
Moreover
here is some more information; in addition; also
Television is a complete waste of time. Moreover, there is never anything good to watch.
Nevertheless
but; however; in spite of that
Sometimes my boyfriend makes me crazy. Nevertheless, I still love him.
For example, here is one example of what I mean
A dog is a wonderful pet. For example, it always comes when you call its name.
For instance
here is one example of what I mean
The internet is one of the greatest achievements in history. For instance, people can now learn about almost anything online--it has
more information than most libraries!
In fact
here is some more specific information
Americans are fat people! In fact, statistics show that 4 out of 5 Americans are overweight.
In point of fact
but here is some surprising information
Some people argue that guns are responsible for violence in our society. In point of fact, most violent crimes do not involve guns.
Similarly
in the same or similar way
Both of my parents were teachers. Similarly, I am also a teacher.
Likewise
in the same or similar way
All machines require some kind of energy. Likewise, the human body also requires energy--in the form of food.
In contrast
on the other hand
Animals just make sounds. In contrast, humans can speak and communicate.
In other words
what I mean to say is this
All politicians lie, cheat, and steal. In other words, the only people they really care about are themselves.
All in all
in general; overall
My town has a library, a swimming pool, and a few good places to eat. All in all, it's a nice place to live.
In short
here is a summary in very simple language
Pollution causes global warming, destroys the environment, and endangers human life. In short, there is nothing good about
pollution.
There are a few mistakes that you should never make in your TOEFL iBT essays. Here is our list of 10 things you should never do:
1. Never use abbreviations
Students often make the mistake of using inappropriate abbreviations in their writing. Never do this. Never write u instead of you. Don't
write l8r instead of later. These are great abbreviations for writing quick SMS messages, but not for an academic essay such as the
TOEFL writing.
2. Never end a sentence with three dots...
When you end a sentence with three dots (...), you are telling the reader that you don't have the words and vocabulary to complete your
thought. Don't do this. Ending your sentences in this way is simply bad English...
3. Don't use slang
The TOEFL writing tests your ability to write an academic essay, not to use slang with your friends in the pub. Never use any words or
phrases that could be considered slang: coulda, woulda, shoulda, gonna, wanna, blah blah blah. Slang will not impress the TOEFL
assessor, but it will lower your essay score.
4. Don't use emoticons :-)
Again, the TOEFL writing is academic in nature, and this is not the same as the writing you use when sending SMS messages. Always
avoid smileys and other emoticons. :-(
5. Don't use big words and complicated language
Many students think that their TOEFL iBT writing score will improve if they use big words and complicated language. This is not true. In
fact, the opposite is true. If you try to use big words and complicated language, it will not sound natural. There is also a chance that you
will use the words incorrectly or make mistakes in grammar. It is important to express yourself naturally, in a simple and elegant way, as a
native English speaker would.
6. Never memorize a text
Never memorize an essay text, format, or template to use in the TOEFL iBT writing. The assessors have a lot of experience correcting
essays, and it is very easy to recognize when a student has simply memorized text.
7. Do not begin a sentence with a conjunction
A conjunction is a word that is used to connect two words, phrases, or sentences. Here are some examples: and, but, or. Only use these
words for connections. Never begin a sentence with one of these words.
By following this simple advice you may see a big improvement in your TOEFL writing score.
There are many ways to improve your TOEFL writing, and a lot of these don't involve studying at all. Here's our top ten list:
1. Answer the question
Your grammar may be perfect and your ideas may be great. Even so, if you don't answer the TOEFL question, none of that matters. If the
question asks for your opinion, be sure to write about what you think--don't write about what other people think. On the other hand,
if the question is about what other people think or do, don't write about yourself.
2. Use short and simple sentences
Good writers can express complex ideas in a very simple way. If you are able to do this, you will demonstrate strong writing skills. More
importantly, short and simple sentences mean fewer grammatical mistakes.
3. Give your essays a beginning, middle, and end
Learn the TOEFL essay structure. Your essay should have an introduction, a body, and a conclusion. This structure helps organize your
thoughts and makes it easier for readers to understand.
4. Have a thesis statement
The thesis statement is the most important sentence in the essay. It is last sentence in the first paragraph (the introduction), and it tells
the reader exactly what your opinion is. Not writing a thesis statement is one of the biggest mistakes you can make.
5. Use topic sentences
A topic sentence is the first sentence of each paragraph in the essay's body. It gives the reader two things: 1) a summary of what will be
in the paragraph, and 2) one reason that supports your thesis statement.
6. Learn the conditionals: first, second, and third
Learning the conditionals may actually help you more than studying the tenses. Conditionals are especially useful when expressing
opinions and giving reasons, two things that you must do in the TOEFL independent writing tasks.
Each conditional, however, has a slightly different meaning. This depends on reality, possibility, and time. Learn how to use the
conditionals, and practice them often. Not using the conditionals correctly is one of the most common mistakes in TOEFL essays.
7. Never begin a sentence with a conjunction
The words and, but, and because are all conjunctions. In English, we only use conjunctions to connect sentences--we almost never begin
a sentence with one.
8. Learn how to use the comma (,) in English
Using the comma correctly will bring your writing to life. The good news is that many languages use the comma. The bad news is that the
rules for using the comma are often different in each language! Learn the rules for using them in English--it will make your writing much
easier to understand.
9. Use the active voice
There are two "voices" in English: active and passive. Here they are:
The active voice is much stronger than the passive voice. Use the active voice as much as possible.
10. Use transitional words and phrases
Transitional words and phrases make your writing easier to understand. They connect ideas and present them to the reader in a logical
order. Here are some examples: First of all..., In addition..., More importantly..., In closing..., In conclusion....