What did Daniel Pink miss in his three factors of motivation: Autonomy, Mastery, and Purpose?

Relationships! If your teachers dont like you, dont trust you, and dont believe what you say, all of the
autonomy in the universe is not going to help with the motivation. Stuart Diamond, author of Getting
More: How to Negotiate to Achieve your Goals in the Real World has read more than a half a million
pages of research to determine that in negotiations, relationships are far more important than any of the
facts, figures, or processes. He uses a pyramid to summarize his point where he shows that successful
negotiations are 8% substance, 37% process, and 55% people. Diamond uses an anecdotal example that
the reason that the jury in the OJ Simpson trial found him innocent despite a mountain of evidence is
that they didnt like or trust the prosecutor.

John Hattie in Visible Learning showed that the effect size of Teacher/Student Relationships on student
achievement is 0.72! Thats incredibly high, higher than reducing class size (0.20), homework (0.29),
Problem Based Learning (0.15), teaching test taking (0.27), Cooperative Learning (0.41), and effective
principal leadership (0.36). Its as John Maxwell says, "People don't care how much you know until they
know how much you care." While the magic of classroom management and student achievement is the
student/teacher relationship, the magic of motivational leadership is leader/teacher relationships.

When I was teaching, I had a young man Ill call Paul who would play Pokemon and Yu-gi-oh in my
classroom. This group of boys and Paul specifically really appreciated that I allowed them to hang out in
my room because they may have been the type to get picked on at lunch time. They were even more
impressed that I talked to them and showed an interest in their card games. Only one or two of the
group of about two dozen were even enrolled in one of my classes. This lasted about two and a half
years before most of them graduated. It wasnt until later that I realized how I had influenced this group.
As a teacher who used many AVID strategies, there was a lot of college-going information in my
classroom. It was clear what my goal was for all of my students, but I had never actually mentioned
college to this group. When I saw Paul more than 3 years after graduation as the drive-thru attendant at
Taco Bell, before I could even say a word he literally broke down in tears and said, Mr. Horton, I am so
sorry Ive disappointed you and I havent enrolled in college yet. Ive gotten so busy working, I havent
had a chance. Im going to meet with a counselor at the community college next week! Im sorry, Im
sorry, Im sorry. The influence that I had on Paul because of the relationship that I built with that group
of students communicated unstated goals that lasted many years after the last time Id spoken with him.

As part of a county office of education, I get to visit schools every year who have applied for awards from
Distinguished Schools, to High School Models of Excellence, to AVID National Demonstration Schools and
Blue Ribbon Schools. Those of us who visit these schools have made sort of a running gag on the way
into the schools; we take bets how long its going to take for the first person to say, It feels like family
when Im here at school. Without fail, at every single one of the several dozen highly successful schools
I have visited, Ive heard this comment from someone within the first 60 minutes of my visit. I cant
believe that this is a coincidence. It should be every leaders goal to set up an atmosphere, a
relationship with the people in the school, so that it feels like it is one happy family. They should shake
hands and greet the faculty on the way into school on Monday mornings. They should salute every one
of them on the way out on Friday afternoon with baked treats. They should make faculty meetings feel
like social celebrations. They should barbeque for teachers on special occasions. They should ask them
five questions about their family and hobbies before asking one question about their lesson plan. The
idea is similar to Steven Coveys Emotional Bank Account. If you do 5 favors for them, theyll be far
more likely to be supportive when it comes time to ask for their support.

I love Chris Wideners quote, You cannot decide if youre going to be a leader. You can only decide if
you will become the type of person that others want to follow. I have seen that from the classroom,
from the administrators office, from the district office, or from the county office, the greatest way to
influence others is to have a relationship with them such that the last thing theyd ever want to do is
disappoint you.

How do you build relationships with your teachers? What effect have you seen as a result?