Bite-Sized Scenario Training

Managing Conflict

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Bite-Sized Scenario Training:

Managing Conflict

This e-book is published by:

Mind Tools Ltd.

Copyright Mind Tools Ltd, 2008-2011. All rights reserved.

Version 1.2

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Cover image iStockphoto/ermingut

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Bite-Sized Scenario Training:

Managing Conflict
Conflict is a difficult topic that has negative connotations. Understandably, most of us
prefer to get along with other people as opposed to disagreeing and quarrelling.

Having said that, a little conflict can be constructive like the irritating piece of grit in an
oyster that causes it to make a pearl it can lead to more creative solutions in the end.
However, its one thing to recognize that there is value in having differences, and quite
another to resist the urge to make conflict go away instead of confronting it.

When you understand the process by which conflict occurs, and have solid tools for
resolving it, you'll be much better equipped to use conflict in a positive manner, and
youll be better able to help people find better ways of working together productively.
And, by bringing differences to the forefront, youll have an opportunity to capitalize on
diverse perspectives, and different ways of doing things.

An understanding of the process by which conflict arises also helps you prevent it from
getting out of control. Conflict resolution tools are important here when it comes to
understanding why the conflict is occurring and deciding how specifically to address it.

You wont eliminate conflict, nor do you really want to. Managing conflict is about making
the most of conflict situations, and using them to increase understanding between
people and finding collaborative ways of working together.

In this Bite-Sized Training scenario youll learn how to manage conflict effectively
across a wide variety of situations. Using the specific steps and information given, youll
then have a chance to analyze two scenarios in which conflict is occurring, and decide
the best course of action. As you work though the lesson youll learn:

Five conflict styles, and when they are most appropriate.

How to use an integrative approach to understand the other persons position.
How to respond when you are involved in conflict.

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Interpersonal Conflict
Conflict in organization is an ever present force. When you put people together and ask
them to work for a common goal, there will often be points of disagreements.

You want these disagreements to surface, because teams of people who think the same
and dont question the status quo are likely to be uncreative and uncompetitive, and
prone to damaging decision-making blind spots.

Conflict brings vibrancy and progressiveness, and its often what sparks innovative
solutions. It forces you to see things differently and get creative with your thinking.

Of course, some sources of conflict arent productive at all. Petty jealousies and
personality conflicts are toxic, and office politics can be intensely destructive. Its
important to deal with illegitimate conflicts like these quickly and decisively.

Conflict can, of course, lead to poor outcomes if not properly understood. Much of the
anxiety around it comes from not knowing what to do in a conflict situation, and not
feeling confident in your ability to deal with it.

When you are untrained and inexperienced in any skill, your natural reaction is to avoid
the situations that need it. Leaders who know how to use conflict management tools to
maintain conflict at healthy levels are likely to have more productive teams and more
creative success than those who dont.

Conflict Responses
Peoples responses to conflict tend to fall into five main categories (these were identified
by Thomas and Kilmann in the 1970s).

They differ in the degree of cooperation and assertiveness displayed in the approach. As
a result they can be placed in a two-dimensional model:
High

Competitive Style Collaborative Style

its all about winning working to meet
the needs of everyone
Assertiveness

Compromising Style
give and take

Avoidant Style Accommodative Style

leave conflict to others sacrifice own needs for others
Low

Low High
Co-operativeness

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Competitive the focus in this area is on satisfying your own needs at the expense of
the other person. Threats, manipulation and use of formal authority are common tactics
used here. The boss will stack a committee with people sympathetic to his cause in
order to secure a win. Another might pretend she didnt get a memo if it wasnt in her
best interests to read what it contained. The attitude that Im the boss or Im the most
important person is a popular undertone here.

Accommodating this approach satisfies the other persons needs at the expense of
your own. What often happens is that no one wins because trying to stay in everyones
good graces is rarely a progressive position. By accommodating, you miss out on
appraising the situation critically, and on protecting the rights and interests of the
stakeholders you represent. You cant please everyone all of the time!

Avoiding here the interests of both sides are ignored. Instead of dealing with an issue,
it is sidestepped completely. A common response to conflict using this approach is, Oh
thats just.he/it wont change. Its a frustrating response because conflict never gets
resolved, so its hard to move forward. The sense here is that there is no leadership, and
people dont really know where to look for solutions.

Compromising this is a partial satisfaction of everyones needs. While everyone wins

something, they also lose something, and so the result is unsatisfactory. When you split
the difference, you are essentially saying that dispute resolution is more important than
actually solving the problem. This may lead people to play games and come in with
higher demands in the first place, knowing that their compromise position is really what
they want in the first place. You can only keep the peace for so long, before everything
breaks down.

Collaborative this is the preferred approach because you attempt to address the
concerns of everyone. The solution is satisfying to both sides, and this is therefore
referred to as a win-win strategy. The emphasis is on understanding the position and
perspective of everyone involved, and then using that information to find common
ground. From there you try to find a creative solution that leaves everyone feeling good
about the outcome, and that truly does solve the problem.

Lets look at the following situation and see how it is addressed using the different
conflict approaches.

Ann is appointed Production Manager for a plastics manufacturer. Her goal is to bring
the team together to solve problems effectively, improve quality and get the plant
running to capacity. The owner, Michael, is very pleased with her performance, and
recognizes that she is a strong asset to the team and has moved the production forward
significantly in her short tenure.

However, he has expressed a concern with Annes neatness. Michaels priority is having
a clean and orderly plant that is visually impressive. He wants machinery painted with a
particular color scheme, he expects the grid layout for the machines to be precise, he
wants workers uniforms to be clean at all times, and wants the floor to be clean enough
to eat off.

Ann struggles with this because she cant justify the time and resources it takes to
maintain such strict appearance standards. Who does it impress? Clients dont visit the

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plant very often. Its a hot and smelly environment that isnt appealing to the other
senses, so why the importance on the visual?

At her performance review Ann receives glowing comments in the strengths column
but the concerns column notes that she needs to focus on maintaining a crisper and
neater facility. How does Ann react to the situation? Well, it depends on what her
natural conflict style is. Heres how she would respond for each of them:

Competitive Michael, Im here to make this plant the number one plastics
manufacturer in our area. If you want that to happen then you have to let me run the
facility in a cost effective manner that gets the greatest use of the resources employed.
Ill crunch the numbers is you want but I already know that your crisp requirements will
bleed this plant dry. Ill do it if its truly what you want but I think you better have a look at
the numbers first. lm really looking out for your best interests here. Take a look and then
lets talk about this expectation, OK??

Accommodating OK Michael, I understand where youre coming from. I do need to

keep a cleaner plant floor. Itll be tough to find the resource but Ill do it and I wont risk
the gains weve made this year. Maybe I could take on some of the supervisors work
and then they could rearrange their responsibilities to free up some extra time on every
shift for cleaning and painting and whatever else needs done. I wont disappoint you!

Avoiding Thanks for the review. I sure am happy to be working here. I think weve had
a great year and Im going to do my best to make sure we continue this great
momentum. So if theres nothing else, I guess Ill get back to work. Thanks again!

Compromising Hmmm well I see here you want me to work on the neatness and
crispness of the plant. Im running my resources at full capacity as it is. Theres nothing
to spare. So, what if we cut back the production numbers on the third shift so I can
assign some hours to daily cleaning and maintenance on the shop floor? I cant promise
youll be able to eat off the floor but it will look good to any visitors that do come through.
Our gains will slow this year but well make some headway on getting the plant looking
like you want. What do you think?

Collaborative I really appreciate this feedback, Michael. I see that you are concerned
about the plants appearance. Why is this such an important issue for you? Its not high
on my priority list at all because Im focused on the production goals and reaching
capacity. We probably need to figure out what kind of growth is sustainable so that the
plant is as impressive as possible given the resources we have to contribute. In the end
we want a facility where everyone is proud of what theyre doing so Im sure there is a
way to organize people and resources to get this done. Id like to do some number
crunching, can we set a time to meet later this week to start developing a plan?

The outcome is very different depending on the conflict approach adopted. Its up to you
to figure out which approach is best when. As a general rule:

When the issue is important use competitive and collaborative approaches.

When the relationship is important use accommodating and collaborative
approaches.
Avoiding is only recommended when your power positions are equal and there
isnt a lot of hope in finding an agreed upon solution.

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When time is an issue, competitive, accommodating and avoiding are all worth
considering.

For a detailed discussion of these five styles, see our article on Conflict Resolution.

Building Successful Collaboration

The ideal approach is collaboration. Unfortunately, this needs an effective negotiation to
find a solution that provides a win for both sides. As such, collaboration needs much
more skill and time than accommodating or compromising: Its far easier to impose your
will or give in. The trick with collaboration is having a set of tools for both sides of the
conflict.
This approach assumes the use of the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach.
This is a method that uses a five-step process to resolve conflict. Steps are: set the
scene, gather information, agree the problem, brainstorm solutions, and negotiate a
solution. You can read more about this approach here.

Our The Bite-Sized Training session on Conflict also contains an exercise to apply
the IBR approach.

Sometimes you will be the initiator of a conflictive situation, and other times you will be
on the receiving end. You can only control your own actions and responses, so its
important to know what to focus on to manage the conflict in either scenario.

Initiator: The goal is to maintain ownership of the problem. When you are frustrated by
something, that is your issue. You first need to figure out what exactly is causing your
frustration before you march into someones office and attempt to solve the problem.
Failing to do so typically results in venting or an anger release, which may make you,
feel better but doesnt resolve anything. Whats more, if you havent identified the real
cause of the problem, you risk looking foolish.

Describe the problem in concrete terms by constructing a When you do X, Y

happens, which makes me feel Z.
o Name the behavior(s) that are bothering you. (X)
o Identify the undesirable consequence of that behavior. (Y)
o Describe how you feel when that happens. (Z)
Remain objective and remember the person probably isnt just doing this to spite
you. Avoid making assumptions about their motivations.
Make yourself understood.
Encourage dialogue.
Take issues on at a time if the problem is complex.
Look for common ground upon which to base a solution.

Receiver: The goal as a receiver in a conflictive situation is to show concern and a

genuine interest in finding a solution. This requires an empathic response that shows the
other person you understand their perspective. Being receptive to problem solving is
probably the biggest step you can take in conflict resolution, if your behavior is seen as
problematic.

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Seek more information. Ask for specific examples of the behavior you are being
approached with.
Find something about the complaint you can agree with. Even if you dont
agree that youve behaved in a certain way, validate the complaint by agreeing in
principle to some part of the other persons position. This signals that you are
indeed interested in collaboration.
Ask to hear the other persons suggestions. This shifts the discussion to a
positive mode and lets you begin searching together for a win-win solution.

The important task for either role is to ensure that everyone agrees upon a plan. Seek to
verify your understanding of the issue, and confirm your commitment to specific actions.

Another consideration is follow-up: when you resolve a conflict you need to know it has
been dealt with sufficiently, and not just covered up for a while. Make plans to measure
progress and adjust the plan as needed.

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Scenarios
Review the following scenarios and decide what approach you will take to resolve the
conflict. Answer the questions that follow each.

Scenario One:

You are the Sales Manager for a computer supply company. Your market is made up of
small- to medium-sized businesses in a large metropolitan city. Your company is a
middle-of-the-road player in the industry and youre doing OK, however there is a large
market out there that you are not aggressively pursuing. A new president is hired who
is no longer content with status quo performance he wants sales increased and the
pressure is on you to deliver.

You believe that the key obstacle for increased sales is the companys credit policy,
which is very restrictive. New customers have a lengthy credit application to fill out. The
Credit Manager only approves very low risk clients, and the credit terms offered are
much more stringent than those of your main competitors.

You think that loosening the credit terms and conditions will open up your client base
significantly. Your sales people reinforce this belief as they frequently complain that
they lose sales because of the reputation the company has when it comes to extending
credit.

Youve discussed your observations with the new President, who wants you to work
with the Credit Manager to create a program that responds both to the need to protect
the company from high credit risks, and still be attractive to a majority of the target
market. The President isnt going to take sides so its up to you to work things out.

Questions

What are your underlying needs and concerns?

Your Answer

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How are they congruent and incongruent with the Credit Managers? What
common ground can you find?

Your Answer

How would you approach the situation? Do you have a solution to suggest?

Your Answer

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Scenario Two

You are the manager of an auditing team in an international accounting firm. You and a
colleague have been sent overseas to set up a new operation using local auditors. The
relationship with your colleague is tense. Alan has more seniority with the company
than you do, however you were the one promoted to manager and asked to head up
this new business unit. Your ability to work with international clients has been noted
and you figure thats why you were promoted over Alan, who otherwise does have
more experience.

Alans perspective is rather different. He thinks you were promoted simply because you
are female (if youre not, pretend you are!) and the company wants more women in
senior positions. He has been openly hostile since your promotion and tries his best to
make you feel like an outsider with the predominantly male staff.

You just sent out the assignments for the next month and Alan is scheduled to go to a
small firm in a remote location that has notoriously difficult records to audit. You know
that senior auditors are usually given choice assignments however you need an
experienced auditor on the case. Youre short on experience staff and you really need
his expertise. Youve also been receiving complaints recently that Alan is not treating
his co-workers very well. Instead of taking on a mentoring and leadership role
appropriate to his knowledge and experience, hes been bossing them around and
acting like a dictator.

Besides, its nice not to have to worry about him causing tension in the office.

You hear a knock at the door and suddenly Alan bursts in. He is MAD. Where does the
women think shes coming from? Shes not going to get away with undermining his
status by giving him the worst assignments. Hes been sent out of the office more than
his fair share the past few months and hes sick of it. Since her promotion shes been
doing everything she can to disrespect him and keep her rival out of the office so she
can claim all the glory for herself. All this is is powerplay and shes not going to win.
She doesnt even deserve the promotion she got. Its just because shes a woman that
shes sitting in the boss seat and hes not. Hes decided hes not going to tolerate this
kind of treatment anymore.

Alan demands that you change this assignment immediately and apologize for the way
youve been treating him. Hes also going to make a formal complaint to head office
and hes prepared to resign if there isnt any improvement immediately.

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Questions

What are your motivations, interests, and responsibility in this conflict?

Your Answer

........................................................................................................................................

What are Alans motivations, interests, and responsibility in this conflict?

Your Answer

What approach do you recommend using and how will you reach a solution? Do
you have a solution to suggest?

Your Answer

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Suggested Solutions

Once you have worked through the scenarios above, click here and go to Step 2 to
download our suggested solutions.

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