Pulitzer Prize-winning author Chris Hedges, in

Empire of Illusion:The End of Literacy and the Triumph of Spectacle,

writes that thecruelty of the new pornography takes a toll on the
bodies, aswell as the emotions, of porn actresses. But someone is trying
tohelp them:The Pink Cross booth has a table of anti-porn tracts and is set
upin the far corner of the Sands Expos Convention Center in LasVegas. It is
an unlikely participant at the annual Adult Video News(AVN) expo. Pink
Cross is a Christian outreach program for womenin the porno industry, run
by ex-porn star Shelley Lubben.I first watched Shelley Lubben on YouTube
in early 2009. An ex-porn star, she has created the Pink
Cross(www.thepinkcross.org) as a public charity to reach out to
adultindustry workers, offering emotional, financial and
transitionalsupport. In the YouTube segment, filmed before a
churchaudience, Shelley describes her past life and her current work. Atall,
stately woman, she treads the boards, moving her hands toemphasize her
words, looking directly and earnestly at herlisteners.As a veteran student
of pornography and prostitution, I did notexpect to learn anything new
from watching Shelley Lubbenspublic testimony. I was wrong. Shelleys
description of the sexualviolence and degradation of modern pornography
was a shock,even to me. It made me think that it made perfect sense to
hearthat she had left her economically rewarding star roles to returnto a
safer life doing straight prostitution. The glamour of pornis only a
mask:You have to do what they want on the sets. . . . Girls . . . feel
likestars. They get attention. . . . They dont realize thedegradation. . . .
Raised on porn, [they] dont even ask if itswrong. . . . They get into drugs
to numb themselves. They get their[bodies] ripped. . . . They get HPV and
herpes, and they turnthemselves off emotionally and die.Shelley says such
women totally lose their identity and live ondrugs and alcohol. They cannot
plan, save their money, or eatproperly. The survivors commonly have only
sexual diseases andfake boobs to show for their lives in porn. She used
to be one of them.
Commented [M1]:
The Back StoryIn the autobiography she wrote for her
website(www.shelleylubben.com), Shelley, born in 1968, notes that
sheattended a good church with her family and that, as a little girl,I
knew and loved Jesus very much. Unfortunately, her stable
if unaffectionate family moved to another location and stoppedgoing to
church. Television became the basis of their family life. Acreative child,
Shelley put on her own plays at her elementaryschool, with the approval of
her amazed first-grade teacher.Then, at age nine, a classmate and the
girls teenage brothersexually molested Shelley. With no one to turn to or
redress herabuse, Shelley defused her anxiety via autoeroticism and
furtivesexual forays with both girls and boys. It felt good to be wantedby
someone and to receive attention, but at the same time I feltdirty. I didnt
recognize until much later that my entire childhoodhad been sexually
hijacked.She carried shame and self-blame into her teen years. It must
besomething evil in me, she thought. She started having sex at age16
and became a rebellious resentful teenager who acted out toget
attention. Hoping to keep peace in the home, her parents letShelley dress
up as a Playboy bunny and date strange boys, wholed her into drug and
alcohol abuse. The family tried counseling tono avail. Unable to understand
what to do, her parents told me toleave home at age 18.She landed in
the San Fernando valley with no food and no money.A nice man saw I
was upset and told me how sorry he was. Stillshocked and angry about
being kicked out the house, so that Ididnt care any more . . . I sold
myself for $35.Thus Shelley entered the glamorous life of prostitution,
but themoney, jewelry, and gifts soon included bizarre sex with
strangerswho stalked her, slashed her tires, and threatened to kill her if
shedemurred from performing certain sex acts. One man tried to killher
with his truck, and she often had to lie her way out of frightening
situations. During her eight years as a prostitute andexotic dancer, she had
two miscarriages and one birth. LittleTiffany grew up living with a lewd
wild woman.Now a single mom, Jesus kept tugging at my heart,
Shelleywrites, but I ignored him. I figured, God wasnt taking care of me,
so I had to do whatever I could to survive.Most of her prostitution money
went for drugs and alcohol to blotout the trauma of her life. To avoid the
rapes and arrests forprostitution, she turned to pornography because it
seemed safer
and more legal. However, even prostitution did not involve thebrutal
kinds of rape and degradation that she endured whilestarring in
pornography. Soon she was required to do veryhardcore scenes.[O]nly
more drugs and alcohol could get me through them. . . . Isold what was left
of my heart, mind and femininity to the pornindustry and the woman and
person in me died completely on theporn set. After becoming infected
with herpes, I quietly left theporn industry but went back to prostitution to
survive.The RescueIn 1994 Shelley met her husband Garrett at a bar. At
first sherefused his requests for a date, but when she finally accepted
andthe two went out, they became instant friends. Garret was raisedin a
Christian home and had attended a Christian school. Hewanted to rescue
Shelley. She says, He was a friend to aprostitute, just like Jesus. We knew
God was working in our lives,so we turned back to Jesus and got married
on February 14,1995.It was a rough marriage, but Shelley says God sent
them to achurch called Champions Centre in Tacoma, Washington,
wherethey learned to live a champion life.With God, I had true
forgiveness from all my sins and a chance togrow into a whole new person
without being perfect first. Thatwas a relief! I learned that God loved me
unconditionally,regardless of my past, and even had a plan for my future.
God hada plan for my life? It was like someone turned the light on for
me.Shelley says she practiced Gods principles in everything I did.She
learned web design and operated her own web designbusiness for four
years. She also attended college and got abachelors degree in theology
and counseling. She had walked intoChampions Centre broken and
shattered, she says. Eight yearslater, she was aChampion woman healed
and excited to live life! God restored mefrom drugs, alcohol addiction,
painful memories, mental illness,sexual addiction, sexual trauma, and the
guilt and shame from mypast. . . . He also restored my femininity and
healed my sexuality,which is a major miracle for me.Shelley reports herself
cured not only of herpes but also of cervicalcancer. In addition, she says,
God also healed our marriage in aremarkable way. Garrett and I have a
beautiful and lovingrelationship and are best friends! Their three
beautiful
Sex, Porn Stars, and the Diseases They Love to Hate - Simon Campbell, 2011

16

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Sex, Porn Stars, and the Diseases They Love to Hate - Simon Campbell, 2011

17

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Sex, Porn Stars, and the Diseases They Love to Hate - Simon Campbell, 2011

18

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