Domestic abuse victim sparks change decades after death

BY TONY GICAS
STAFF WRITER | CLIFTON JOURNAL

CLIFTON Earlier this month, a seminar informing the

public of the legal protections provided to domestic violence
victims rehashed painful memories for a local family still
recovering from the tragic death of a family member which
occurred more than a decade ago at the hands of her
abusive husband.

The symposium, hosted by the Passaic County Prosecutors

Office on March 8, was attended by academics, advocates,
students and lawmakers. Aimed to combat the growing
issue by educating and empowering the local community,
the conference also served as a harsh reminder for families
who lost loved ones to domestic violence.

Court testimony from family members, neighbors, doctors

and others painted a painful picture of the life of Lora
Celmer-Donato, a mother of two who reportedly spent much
of her final years of marriage to John Donato as a receptacle for her husband's verbal and
physical abuse, according to police.

According to court documents, the abuse reached its peak during the winter of 2001 when, on
the morning after a severe February ice storm, Lora was pronounced dead at age 34 due to
internal injuries. A jury believed Donato had beaten his wife to death and convicted him of
aggravated manslaughter.

Although nothing will ease the pain of the loss, Loras sister, Clifton resident Stacy Ostrander,
said officials from the county prosecutor's office in Paterson have told her family that the case
made a major impact on how domestic violence cases are handled.

County officials would not say it was a direct result of Lora's case, but Gina Pfund, chief
assistant prosecutor, did state that the Passaic County Prosecutors Office developed a
specialized domestic violence unit dedicated to the prosecution of such cases in 2001.

"The goal was to ensure that all DV survivors and their children dealt with the same prosecutors
and detectives to establish an ongoing relationship and ensure that they are aware of all court
proceedings and plea negotiations," Pfund said.

"Since 2001, the unit spends a considerable amount of time instructing law enforcement officers
in domestic violence mandatory arrests procedures, she continued. DV calls are the most
dangerous and most frustrating calls that an officer can respond to, so we want to ensure that
all officers have that information and techniques necessary to respond most effectively."

On April 17, 2003, Donato was sentenced to 17 years in prison. Throughout the process, he
proclaimed he did not kill his wife and told police that his wife was depressed and had an
alcohol problem which caused her to fall and injure herself on several occasions, court records
show.

However, toxicology reports performed by county medical examiner Dr. Kenneth Hutchins
showed no drugs or alcohol in her system at the time of her death.

Passaic County assistant prosecutor Keith Hoffman told the jury during the murder trial that
Donato had abused his wife numerous times throughout the years and cited Loras psychiatrist
who testified a tearful Donato once admitted to physically abusing his wife while in the
therapists presence.

Regarding the cause of death, however, Hoffman relied on expert testimony which stated
Donato had beaten Lora so badly that her small intestine ruptured and caused major
hemorrhaging.

Lora's body, lying on her kitchen floor and found to be without a pulse, was attended to by
Wayne police officer Michael O'Rourke while her 3-year-old son Anthony and 13-month-old
daughter Angela were in the house.

The downward spiral began long ago, according to court testimony and interviews with family
members who said that the later years of Lora's life belied the happy, fun-loving young woman
they saw grow up in Clifton.

Lora was just 18 years old and a week away from graduating Clifton High School when her
father succumbed to cancer, but her family described her as a bright, strong, individual during
her adolescence and early adulthood. She worked in a bank before she received a job within
the Pfizer pharmaceutical company's chemical division. While working at the company she
simultaneously attended college computer courses at night, according to Celmer.

A passionate sports fan that closely followed four New York sports teams - the Yankees, Giants,
Knicks and Rangers - her time became more and more devoted to her family after she married
Donato and ultimately bore two children. The couple were high school sweethearts, Lora's
mother, Arleen Celmer, said last week.

"My husband and I both came from happy families where everything centered around the kids
and family," Lora's mother said. "And she took care of her family."

Celmer said her daughter was "very much in love" with Donato but that he eventually utilized
that unconditional love as a weapon against her in establishing control of Lora. "It started with
control, then it went to emotional, verbal, and finally physical," she said.

Ostrander called her sister her best friend and a selfless person who put everyone else before
herself. "But, sometimes you don't realize things are changing. She kept a lot of it hidden so
nobody would know it was going on," Ostrander added.

Celmer said her daughter would deny that anything was wrong, but a slew of hospital visits and
therapy sessions told a different story.
"At first, I don't think Lora thought there was a problem but one morning I slept over and she
told me herself that she had a drinking problem," Celmer said in a phone interview. "She only
drank in social situations, and never had a drinking problem before the [domestic abuse], but
she said it killed the pain. She'd go away to get better and he'd call her on the phone and ask
when she's coming home because she's deserting her family and the kids are crying."

Family members said the stress she was under led to her three DWI offenses as well as the
trips in and out of rehabilitation centers. Celmer would also later learn that the reason Lora
began wearing uncharacteristic clothing, such as sweatshirts in the summertime, was to cover
up her bruises.

"It never, ever dawned on me that she could have fractured ribs, which is exactly what she
had," she said.

According to Dr. Hutchins court testimony, Lora had suffered 20 rib fractures and seven acute
fractures in the years leading up to her death. He said he had never before observed so many
healing fractures in an adult and that the number was comparable to baby homicides or, in the
case of adults, to trauma resulting from motorcycle accidents or falls from a height of two or
three stories.

Hutchins stated in court that the fatal injury was so rare and severe that, in his professional
opinion, her death had to have been a homicide and could not have resulted from a fall. Dr.
Michael Baden, a forensic pathologist and medical examiner for New York State, testified for the
defense and argued that the fatal injury was consistent with a fall and that the cause of death
was accidental or undetermined.

Although Lora's mother, sister, uncle, neighbor and doctor all testified that Donato's abuse
often left her with black eyes, bruises and missing patches of hair, Celmer said she did not
believe he'd ever before hurt the children.

"I hate to do it but I've got to say that her husband was a pretty good father," she said.
"However, he couldn't be left alone with the children and he had a temper so, when things
didn't go his way, he was like a kid. The more responsibilities there were for them as a family,
the more overwhelmed he became and more he lashed out at her. But there were a few times
where Lora got worried that one day the kids would be next."

A week before her death, Lora was staying with her mother and said to be doing well. The
children were staying with Donato's parents temporarily and, one day, when she called to check
on her children, Donato got on the phone and convinced her to come back to him, Celmer said.

"I told her 'if you go home with him this time, you're going to be dead,'" Celmer painfully
recalled. "They're very convincing that it's not going to happen again. She went from this
woman who could make up her own mind to someone who couldn't make a decision or go
anywhere without telling him first. She lost total sense of herself."

Celmer said the thought of having to live in a halfway house and hide with her kids was too
much for her daughter and she was also concerned that her husband could use her alcohol
treatments to gain custody of the children.
The night before her death, Donato asked Celmer if the family could stay at her home because
their power had been knocked out by the Feb. 5, 2001 snowstorm. Celmer agreed the family
should stay with them but advised them to wait until morning because the roads were
extremely treacherous that night. Before she hung up the phone, while talking to her daughter,
Celmer said she heard her son-in-law yelling because their 3-year-old son had knocked over a
candle.

At 7:30 a.m. the next morning, Lora called to apologize about the previous night. "She said how
much she loved me and my mother," Ostrander remembered. "I never spoke to my sister
again."

Four hours later, Celmer called the Wayne home but Donato said Lora was taking a bath. When
she called again in the afternoon there was no answer. Celmer finally received a page from
Donato around 4 p.m. and immediately called his daughter's home number.

"When I heard him crying, I already knew she was dead," Celmer said. "I knew something was
wrong. I said in court that he treated her like a Timex watch, thinking she could take a licking
and keep on ticking. But this time he beat her too much."

Ostrander said her sister always looked at it as if the next time would be the last, "but the last
time was too late," she said. "She was ready to leave, had a bag of ID's and some money. I
had a wonderful sister. I'd give anything just to have a half hour of her time but I know now
that she basically gave herself up to protect her kids."

For a period after Lora's death, Celmer said she was angry at her daughter. She wondered why
he was so important that she wasn't able to walk away from him but ultimately realized she had
never walked in her shoes.

"She really loved him and he was the love her life," she said. "She believed in him more than he
believed in himself."

In the aftermath of the tragedy, the couple's two children, now 16 and 13, currently live in
Clifton with Celmer, who possesses full legal custody of the siblings. They still visit with their
father's parents and have gone to see Donato in prison.

Her grandson, who she said is angry with his father, sent a letter to The Record last month on
the anniversary of his mothers death.

Mom you were TAKEN away from us on this date 12 years ago. You are always around us
every day watching over us Guardian Angel. We love and miss you, he wrote in the letter.

Celmers granddaughter, however, remains conflicted about her relationship with her father.

"She asked me recently, 'I know what daddy did but is it okay if I still love him?' I told her of
course it is and that, no matter what, he'd always be her father," Celmer said. "But, when she
gets older, she'll have to tell him how she really feels."
Celmer said she and her family have attended events in the past which were hosted by the
county prosecutors office. She said the events, such as the annual domestic violence vigil held
at Clifton City Hall, helped her find some closure. But, she hoped that her daughters story hit
home for potential domestic violence victims and those close to them.

I don't care if you are a mother, grandmother, daughter, son, a boyfriend or a girlfriend
because it can happen to anybody, Celmer said passionately. The biggest problem with a lot
of people out there is that it's just a story on television and they believe it wouldn't happen to
them. People have to know that this is real, it happens, and not everyone gets out of it. If you
do you're lucky.

I don't care how much you love somebody, if it happens a first time and then a second time,
no matter how much it hurts, you walk away and you don't look back, she continued. It's hard
but it's better than losing your life. No matter what you have with that person - emotional or
monetary - you can always figure it out and move on to something else.

Pfund said last week that she could not comment on the case itself because Donato has filed an
appeal which is still pending appellate review and speaking on the matter could jeopardize the
case should further action be taken at a later date.

Donato, and his family, still maintain his innocence to this day. When reached for this story,
John's father, Louis Donato, declined to comment. Donato is not eligible for parole until 2017.

Email: Gicas@northjersey.com