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Strong negotiation skills are hugely advantageous throughout ones life, from the boardroom to
the bar. These skills largely rest on your ability to back up your words with physical actions that
exude openness, honesty, and confidence. This fosters trust and increases the other partys desire
to react cooperatively and reach agreement.
According to psychologists and a recent study from language experts Gengo, body language and
non-verbal communications has a greater impact in a discussion than the actual words that you
say.
More than 55% of messages are conveyed through nonverbal cues like gestures and posture, and
studies have shown body language is a more accurate gauge of someones true attitudes and
intentions than their tone of voice or words. Studies have shown that people are 80% more likely
to retain information that was communicated to them both orally and visually.
Gain the edge in negotiations with fantastic non-verbal and body language tips to increase your
rate of success and stay way ahead of the game.
1. SHOW UP ON TIME
As Woody Allen so aptly put it during his sudden rocketing to stardom with the release of Annie
Hall in 1977, "Eighty percent of success is showing up." And its true. The very first impression
that youll make on a new client, potential boss, or corporate adversary occurs before you step
into the room or say a word.
Lateness damages the negotiation process in two ways: Firstly, its viewed as discourteous (or
even insulting) and implies incompetence and lack of integrity on the part of the latecomer,
making the other party irritated and less likely to want to reach an agreement. Secondly, the
anxiety youll no doubt experience at being late will shatter the calm, focused, and confident
demeanor that youll need to summon if youre to be successful in the negotiation itself. So give
yourself a fighting chance and show up on time.
A great deal has been written over the years on the art of the perfect handshake, but you can
forget all of it. The most and, really, only important thing about your handshake is that you have
one at all. Researchers at the University of Chicago recently published a group of studies
concluding that a handshake makes people feel comfortable, promotes honesty, and increases the
cooperative behaviors that lead to deal making.
3. NEGOTIATE WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE
Tony Hsieh, CEO of Zappos, explains his strategy for success at the poker table as a parallel to
business: "I learned that the most important decision I could make was which table to sit at. This
included knowing when to change tables."
As much of your ability to set a positive tone for a successful negotiation rests on keeping
control of your body language, so does your intuition in responding to the body language and
non-verbal cues of your potential opponents before choosing to engage with them. As Mr. Hsieh
noted and any poker player will tell you, the outcome of a game is often more than half decided
when they make the decision to sit down.
Indeed, eye contact is one of the single most powerful communication tools between two people,
as it conveys openness, sincerity, and trust.
Avoiding eye contact in a negotiation keeps a good rapport from developing. It gives the other
person the feeling that youre being evasive or dishonest, both of which make negotiating very
difficult.
On the other hand, eye contact is so powerful that too much of it can be threatening and seen as
aggressive or intimidating. You should keep relatively consistent eye contact, but remember that
its natural to look away when thinking or processing.
As you can imagine, such a situation completely disrupts the negotiation process. Its important
for each party to feel that their personal space is being respected and that theyre not being
physically intimidated. A safe rule is to sit or stand at least four feet away and study the other
person to gauge their comfort level.
Non-verbal channels are 12.5 times more powerful than communicating interpersonal attitudes
and feelings than the verbal channel.
In the same vein, any level of crossed limbs or hands is going to be interpreted as being negative
and closed off, which wont help you to elicit trust in any negotiation. No one wants to talk to
someone who seems to have already made up their mind! So uncross your arms and legs and
keep some distance between your hands to appear open minded and ready to listen to others'
points of view.
8. HANDS DOWN
Speaking of handsthey are incredibly expressive and can add a lot to your communication.
When negotiating, the general rule of thumb is to keep your hands away from your face. Rubbing
ones face or head is generally seen as a symptom of anxiety, and anxious is the last thing you
want to appear.
Likewise, having your hands over your mouth or eyes signals that you may be in the process of
hiding or lying. Appear confident and truthful by keeping your hands away from your face,
unclenched, and open as much as you can.
People remember 10% of information that is provided to them orally and just 20% of
information that is provided to them visually. However, 80% of information that is presented to a
person both orally and visually is retained, meaning that body language is just as important as
being vocal.
Moreover, dont be afraid to be silent for a short while, sparking the other persons insecurities.
The effects may surprise you. As Lance Murrow advised, "Never forget the power of silence,
that massively disconcerting pause which goes on and on and may at last induce an opponent to
babble and backtrack nervously."