How to Train Your Wife

and turn her into your best friend

by Joe Hawk
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Contents
Introduction.....................................................................................................................................................................1
So you want to train your wife?
1. Be a coach, not a Ring Master .............................................................................................................3
Its the 21st Century
2. Whats your problem?.....................................................................................................................................8
Good guys get the medals, the tough guy gets the girl.
3. Whos in charge here? ..............................................................................................................................15
Take the reins and the steering wheel - of your marriage
4. What women want 1.01. ...........................................................................................................................21
Understand your opponent if you ever want to win.
5. What women want 1.02. ...........................................................................................................................25
Set an example, she will follow.
6. What women want 1.03 ........................................................................................................................30
Teach her to be your best friend
7. Its on the plate...................................................................................................................................................37
Turn her into a happy and accomplished cook.
8. Confucius says: Dont worry it only seems kinky the first time.. ..................45
Most wives do it teach yours!
9. Give and take. . ...................................................................................................................................................50
Teach her how to give more and demand less.
10. Pain and suffering . ....................................................................................................................................58
How to stop her from nagging.
11. More Sex anyone?........................................................................................................................................62
Be careful what you ask for you might get it!
12. Beware ! ................................................................................................................................................................71
- its not in the bag yet!
13. More sex anyone . 2 . ...............................................................................................................................78
Its yours for the taking.
14. If you dont know what to do . . . . . ...........................................................................................89
Every coach encounters this problem sooner or later.
15. Its my time!.........................................................................................................................................................92
Teach her to leave you alone!
Other How to books in this series:...................................................................................................96

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Introduction
So you want to train your wife?
You want to get her to do your bidding everything you could possibly wish
for?

That sounds reasonable to me! After all, what were those marriage vows all
about? Im sure you remember them! While she seems to have forgotten!

And you are doing your bit, working hard, bringing home the spoils of your labour,
and they are not being appreciated? That doesnt sound right!

Its pretty easy to train your wife, once you know how, and where to start.

Its pretty easy to train your wife,

once you know how,
and where to start.

Once you know what you are actually trying to achieve, and which way to go,
step by step. What the right tricks to use are, what the no-nos to avoid are.

The thing is, as soon as you got married, the very next day, your wife embarked
on a mission to change you, to improve you. Thats what all women do. Like there
was something wrong with you! Like you were broken or something, and needed
fixing.

. . . as soon as you got married,

the very next day,
your wife embarked on a mission
to change you, to improve you.

You, on the other hand, were happy with her the way she was on her wedding
day. You never wanted her to change at all. She was everything you wanted. Why
mess with it?

But she did change. Of course she did. All those little things she used to do for
you those are all a distant memory. Shes not the same girl any more. You want
her back. If you could get her back the way she used to be, you wouldnt have to
train her at all.

She used to know it all, but somehow, over the years, she forgot. You never want-
ed her to change at all. She was everything you wanted. Why mess with it?

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You changed too. Just not exactly the way she had in mind. She tried to improve
on you in every aspect of your life, but you rightfully resisted, because you were
not only happy with her the way she was, you were happy with yourself as well.
Rightfully so. What a guy you used to be!

But you did change, and not for the better. A few years later, and you are not
completely happy with yourself any more. Sometimes you even hate yourself.
You have become soft, you give up too easily. At times you even let her order you
around.

Because never mind what you do, shes never happy with it. So why bother to
argue with her? Just agree with her, shrug your shoulders, and wait for it to blow
over.

If she would only accept you

the way you are, everything
would be fine and you two would
never have to have another fight
.....Ever

I know! You dont want to fight with her over every little thing. If she would only
accept you like she used to if she would like you the way you are, everything
would be fine and you two would never have to have another fight. You could
both be happy.

As for being happy with her, and the way she is now lets not talk about it too
loudly. Its too dangerous. We both know how it is. Im married just as you are. So
I understand.

Lets just say that shes bossy, never happy with anything you do. In short shes
full of crap! But if there was a way to bring back that lovely, bubbly, happy, loving
and playful girl you married - . . . . .

Lets stop dreaming buddy, lets do something about it. Get some action going!

You have the complete How to manual, right there - in your hand.

there is a way to bring back

that lovely, bubbly, happy, loving
and playful girl you married

And Im looking at you, and you seem to be a man of Action. My type of guy.
Start with Chapter 1.

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1. Be a coach, not a Ring Master
Its the 21st Century

Story:
When I was a little boy (it was during the dark ages) I used to love to
go to the circus when it was in town. My aunt Lola loved to take me it
was her privilege.

I never really liked the circus clowns so much they reminded me of all
the stupid situations I usually ended up in myself. You dont want to look
into the mirror and see a clown!

But I loved the Ring Master. He would just shout orders and crack his
long whip and the wild beasts had to perform all sorts of tricks.

He had the power, he had control! He was The Man.

But those were the days before human rights, before animal rights, even
before womens rights. It was easy to crack the whip, when the poor
beast had no right to a lawyer, when divorce settlements were deter-
mined chiefly by the husbands generosity.

And I dont actually miss those old days. I miss my aunt Lola, but must
admit that the world, as well as circuses, have changed for the better.

In the scramble for progress, Ringmasters have been replaced by

Coaches, peer reviews and yes divorce lawyers.

So I need to say, that in this century, if you want to train your wife, you definitely
will have to be a Coach, not a Ringmaster. As for the whip and the handcuffs
we will talk about that in Chapter 8. For now, accept the fact, that if you want to
train your wife, you will have to be her Coach.

He would just shout orders

and crack his long whip
and the wild beasts had to
perform all sorts of tricks.

Which sort of brings us to the Bad news part of the book.

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Most people tell you the good news before the bad, but in my way of thinking its
often better to get the bad news over with as soon as you can. Get it done and
over with. If you can survive that first assault, from then on it will only improve.

In the training of your wife and being her coach, the bad news is, - as every other
coach already knows, - the coach himself has to work much harder on the train-
ing, than his trainees.

It is true, that they do all the running, jumping, ball playing, bouncing or what-
ever their sport is about, but the coach is the one with all the responsibility, with
all the headaches, all the planning and organising. He has to have discipline, if he
is to impress some of it upon them.

The coach cant say oh no!

Not today. I have a headache!

He must always set a good example. Which can be a drag lets face it.

The coach has to be on the ball all the time. He cant relax, slack off, take it easy.
He cant ever be tired of training. He cant say oh no! Not today. I have a
headache, Im too tired. He just cant!

The coach needs to be persistent, consistent, and insistent.

He needs to be the best friend, the advisor, mentor, shining example. He needs
to know what to do in any situation.

He must be kind, but tough, demanding but fair, loved, admired and feared all at
the same time.

The coach is the only one who knows what is going on, what the big plan is.

Its not easy to be a coach.

. . . . be kind, but tough,

demanding but fair, loved,
admired and feared all at the same time.

Training a wife is no different, to training a soccer player, gymnast, opera singer,
or an actress. It requires a lot of work on the part of the poor coach.

You want a first class wife sure you can train yourself one from scratch. But to
do that, you will of necessity need to be a first class coach.

Luckily, - and here comes the first bit of good news - you are holding the first

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class coaching manual in your hand.

Training a wife is no different,
than training a soccer player,
gymnast, opera singer, or an actress.

And so before you start complaining give me a few more chapters it is not all

bad. In any case it was you who wanted to know how to train your wife. All Im
doing is providing you with step by step instructions.

You could have asked me how to climb Mount Everest. After I have given you all
the details, you wouldnt say: But - its too difficult would you now?

It's actually not difficult to train your wife. It just takes a lot of small steps. One at
a time. Just like climbing Mt. Everest.....and the view will be just as spectacular.

. . . you are holding the first class

coaching manual in your hand.

This book will help you to become a renowned coach of great experience, be-
cause you will be drawing on tested and proven methods of many men, who
were there before you, and who learned at their expense. You will be walking
down a well trodden path.

Dont be a dork! (Dork sex organ of a male humpback whale. Usually in excess of 200 pounds and 7 foot in length)

Dont announce to your beloved, that you have bought this new, amazing book
on How to train your wife, and that the training will start as from tomorrow, as
soon as you finished reading Chapter 1.

Dont say anything at all, if you value your life!

Keep the book hidden from her. Wrap it in a cover from Hot Wheels or Shoot-
er magazine, so that she never comes across it. Look NOBODY likes to be
trained. Women especially dont like it. They dont find it to be funny either.

Remember, that she didnt sign up for this. She is neither a volunteer, nor a con-
script. She doesnt think that she is in any need of training.

So be crafty, slow and deliberate.

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 . . . she should at all times be
under the impression that it is you,
who is changing for the better,
after all those years of her trying.

Sneak in the lessons slowly, as you are reading them. Use the thin end of the
wedge first. Then tap, tap, tap, you slowly increase the pressure.

Above all, she should at all times be under the impression that it is you, who is
changing for the better, after all those years of her trying to change you.

Remember, she never signed up for this.

She is neither a volunteer, nor a conscript.

The principle is simple, and its rock solid.
Being a Coach (as opposed to the Ringmaster), you will train your wife in such a
way, that she will not oppose or object to her being trained. If done properly, she
will not even notice that she is being trained,

and wait for it -

She will actually enjoy it and think it was all her own achievement. She worked so
hard at it, but it was worth it. All she needed and received was some minor help
and support from her wonderful husband.

Thats all. Sounds good to you?

I bet it does!

I mean you are not after medals for yourself! You are a coach. What you are
after, is the improved performance of your sweet and loving darling wife.

You must be kind, but tough,

demanding but fair, loved,
admired and feared at the same time.

Be a coach:
It isnt easy to be a coach. Its a lot of hard work. Taking small steps one
at a time, correcting, improving, encouraging. But hey you can do it!

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 You have what it takes to train you wife! The result will be well worth it!

You need to be at it all the time, you must not slack. If a coach doesnt
feel like going to the training session today, it will all go PLOP.

It cant be one thing today, completely another way tomorrow. Be

Consistent.

The coach can never must never not feel like it today, let her off
the hook just this one time. Be Persistent.

Its not enough to do it half way. Go through it with her again, and again,
until its perfect. Be Insistent!

If the coach criticises bad performance without praising the good, his
trainees will loose interest. Actually good coach NEVER criticises. Hes
more clever than that! But more of that later.

SUMMARY
Problem:

How to train someone who doesnt even want to hear the word training?
Solution:

The days of Ringmasters with their whips are over. Today, you must be a
Coach. But beware:

Coaches usually need to work harder than the person they train.

By the way, Ringmasters didnt have it easy either. Many of them ended up be-
ing eaten, or at least savaged.

To purchase this entire e-book as a pdf please visit

http://www.how-to-train-your-wife.com

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