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Below is a model answer essay that scored an impressive Band 5.

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feedback on each paragraph. Lets get started!

QUESTION 2:
The world today is turning more to electronic communications such as the e-mail, Facebook
and Short Message System (SMS). What is your opinion of this growing trend? Discuss. You
should write at least 350 words.

As time goes by, the world is changing rapidly; so are its people and the technology
itself. Technology brings about a lot of amendments in peoples life. It is getting more
advanced from day to day especially when it comes to Information Technology or in this
case; electronic communications. Back then, mailing was seemingly to be one of the
most vital ways of communication especially for the world communication. In contrast,
nowadays people are more prone to communicate the easier ways; by staring on their
electronic accounts on their computers or through their iPods and sending short
messages from their iPhones or Blackberries. Why is it so? In my slight opinion, this
growing trend gives a lot of dominances in todays life, which are helping people to save
their time and money, create borderless communication and make it easy for people to
gain prominent information.

Feedback
The student introduces technology as a whole, looking at its history, from how it
has grown from a simple form of communication through letters to todays
extensive choice of communication through electronic gadgets. This is a great
way to start your introduction. Based on the question, explain what the issue is
and give a brief background of its past and present. State your opinion as to why
such situation arises.

First and foremost, the world today is turning more to electronic communications like e-
mail, Facebook and Short Message System (SMS) and other electronic
communications is because they will prevent people from wasting their time and money.
How do these work? As we all know, sending a letter to someone will take a lot of
processes and will eventually take a long time and waste a lot of money. On the
contrary, electronic communications entail only the tip of our fingers so as an electronic
device to work with. Then, what is left for us to do is just, typing! Has that not taken a
much lesser time and money? For instance, an e-mail only requires us to turn on our
laptops, open our accounts on the website and then, you can start write your letter and
send them through e-mails. In short, with the very unstable economy nowadays, having
these kinds of communications will ease everyones burden especially on their daily
expenses and also their valuable time will not be wasted.

Feedback
State, Explain and then Illustrate. Remember SEI. First, state the topic thats been
mentioned. In this case, its the rise of electronic communications. Then explain.
Explain what electronic communications entail. Next, illustrate. This means give
examples based on your explanation. The student illustrates by giving a scenario
of the use of emails.

Secondly, the growing trend of electronic communications is making it possible for a


borderless communication which is vital these days. Why is it vital? A lot of things
require borderless communication; in education field, businesses and even daily
activities, especially when foreigners involved. For example, when trading with
foreigners, in order to communicate with each other, they need Skype or Yahoo
Messenger as mediums to interact and be able to do the trade at a faster rate as
compared to by using snail mails or regular letters. Skype is the perfect example of an
electronic communication which will cut the boundary that has separated each country
and make communication between two different countries from around the world
possible. In conclusion, it is crucial to have these electronic communications in todays
age of globalization as they make it easier for people around the world to connect with
each other.

Feedback
Structure your subsequent paragraphs like the first one. Add a new point in the
second paragraph and repeat the SEI format. Its important to have a mind map of
your points before you start writing.

Last but not least, the dominance of these electronic communications is people could
gain prominent information more efficiently than before. As there are lesser borders
between countries, the efficiency of getting much more relevant and prominent
information is higher. People will have the ability to provide and gain information
effectively through Facebook or Twitter accounts. For example, international artists who
have planned to do a world concert can inform their fans about it through their
Facebook account. Likewise, the fans also can ask just about anything to their favourite
artists regarding the concert. Hence, this explains why people make these electronic
communications as a huge trend these days and in order to keep the trend ongoing,
each person has the responsibility to adapt with the technology itself.
In a nutshell, the growing trend of using electronic communications is inevitably vital in
peoples lives as it gives out a lot of benefits as stated in above paragraphs. So, to
avoid ourselves from not getting the chance of keeping up with the changing trends, we
have to try our best to adapt ourselves with the rapid changes. I believe that the
electronic communication trend is a trend which is very important to be followed as the
world is getting more advanced day to day.

Feedback
To indicate that your essay is coming to an end, use words like in conclusion, in
a nutshell, in short or to wrap up. Summarise your opinion based on all your
previous paragraphs and emphasise your point through words like I believe.
Question : Students should start their own blog. Do you agree? Support your
answer with examples. You should write at least 350 words.

In recent years, the world has witnessed a significant rise in technological


advancements across all fields. We saw science improved, mathematical questions
answered, and social media flourished. The mushroom of blogs has positively
correlated with the increasingly affordable price of computers and gadgets. Majority of
the bloggers are students who use it for various purposes. Despite the ongoing debate
on whether students should start their own blog, I strongly agree that starting a blog and
constantly updating it helps develop critical thinking skills, creates a knowledgeable
society and fortifies multiracial unity.

First and foremost, starting and updating a blog helps to stimulate a critical way of
thinking. Blog acts as a platform which opens up avenues for sharing and discussing
ideas. Students are free to share their viewpoints with netizens all over the world and
anyone can propose his or her ideas in the comment section below. Consequently, a
discussion will be built up and the commenters need to analyse the arguments by
considering the issue from different aspects and backgrounds. Thus, critical thinking
skills develop slowly in the students mind without one realising it. For instance, the
discussion on the economic issue can only come to an ideal conclusion through critical
analysis of the current situation by viewing from different aspects, involving the
countries, citizens and resources. Therefore, it is crystal clear that blogging can develop
a critical thinking mind, especially among the students.

In addition to this, blogging plays a key role in moulding a knowledgeable society. It


is a universal truth that most students in this era of globalisation where technology
reigns adapt better to learning via electronic media. Furthermore, most students spend
more time browsing the Internet compared to reading books and newspapers. Hence,
information and knowledge shared via blogs can reach more students than the
traditional way of sharing through books. As an exemplification, students who have
created mnemonics to ease the memorisation of difficult topics in the syllabus can share
them via their blogs so that other students can learn it and even discuss to come up
with a better idea. As a result, the knowledge input of students who access to the blogs
will be escalated dramatically to eventually mould a knowledgeable society.

Moreover, blogging can enhance the unity among different races. When students of
different races blog about their unique cultures and traditions, students of other races
who came across the articles will be well-informed about the cultures of other races and
thus open their eyes to realise the existence of other cultures in ones country. This can
develop a better sense of understanding and hence maintain the precious unity among
races, which is crucial to the harmony of a multiracial country such as Malaysia. For
example, when a Malay student posts about their tradition of visiting one another during
the Aidilfitri, Chinese, Indian as well as indigenous students will get to know more about
the culture of Malays and the dos and donts when they join the celebration.
Subsequently, students will develop a better understanding about races and unity is
fortified when all sorts of misunderstandings are avoided.

On the other hand, one may argue that blogging is time consuming and distracting
for the students. This notion anchored its arguments on the common scenario that most
students are very likely to get carried away when they access the Internet and
eventually wasted so much time doing unbeneficial activities in the Internet. Students
are also prone to the exposure towards the underlying negative influences in the
Internet such as violence, gore and sexually explicit contents which are able to corrupt
the students mind once and for all.

In a nutshell, I still totally believe that students should start their own blog as this
brings magnificent advantages to the students, society as well as our beloved country.
Blogging stimulates a critical way of thinking, produces an enlightened society and
strengthen the unity among races. The minor drawbacks can be prevented by careful
measures such as parental control. The government through the Ministry of Education
should spearhead a foolproof blueprint to instill the habit of blogging among students by
providing special training and increasing incentives for the usage of technology in
schools.
Question 2:
Since achieving independence in 1957, Malaysia has been known for its peaceful
and multiracial society. What can be done to further enhance national unity and
solidarity among the various races? Elaborate and give relevant examples in
more than 350 words.

Nowadays, Malaysia is considered a leading tourist destination because we are famour


for our multiracial society living together in peace and harmony. In my opinion, I strongly
agree that national unity can be enhanced to strengthen solidarity among all the various
race in this country. In this essay, I will discuss three solid strategies for enhancing
national unity which include every individual's role in being more patriotic, be respectful
of each different culture and mould a racially tolerant future generation.

First and foremost, every individual can play a part in enhancing national by being more
patriotic. This is because when we are patrotic we will appreciate being a Malaysian
citizen who has the right to live a peaceful and war-free life. Moreover, having high
patriotism will ensure that we really love our country and we will not do anything to harm
the peach and harmony. For example, every one of us can respect the 'Negaraku' song
and 'Rukunegara', fly our national flag during idependence Day and so on. Therefore, if
everyone plays their part and becomes more patriotic, this will easily enhance the spirit
of national unity.

Secondly, as a loyal Malaysian, we should always be respectful of each and every


culture found in this country. This means that respecting the main races like Malays,
Chinese and Indians as well as the indigenous races will ensure that we will continue to
live side by side in harmony. Furthermore, every race tat makes up the Malaysian
society is unique and should be cherished for its special traditions. For instance, we
should visit one another during the 'Open House' or wedding celebrations, religious
festivals and many more. Thus by respecting the uniqueness of every culture, this helps
us promote racial solidarity and enhance national unity.

Last but not least, it is every individual's responsibility to mould the future generation to
be more patriotic. This is due to the fact that by educating our own children to be good
and toelrant citizens, this will help us maintain our peaceful situation long into the future.
In addition, children who are taught to be respectful of other cultures will learn to be
more grateful for the peace and harmony our country enjoys compared to places like
Gaza where they are now suffering the effects of war. Take for example, we can send
our children to 'Sekolah Wawasan' or 'Vision Schools' where they can mix with all races,
join multiracial community activities and others. Hence, by educating the young on
patriotism, we are ensuring that national unity will continue to exist in the future.
In a nutshell, the three strategies I have suggested are to be more patriotic and
respectful of each unique culture as well as to teach our children about patriotism. In my
opinion, I still strongly agree that national unity can be enhanced if we all play an active
role. I hope that our government can highlight this issue in the media by organising
more patriotic campaigns so that we can produce a united society that can contribute
productively to the achievement of Vision 2020.

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